


- Tied Up -

by Hichanchen, Smut_Hemingway



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Angst, Assistant Hyungwon, Bottom Chae Hyungwon, CEO Wonho, Chains, Complete, Crack, Euphoria is a funny thing, F/M, Fluff, Harnesses, Hoseok has an intimidating gaze, Hoseok is older, HyungWonho - Freeform, Hyungwon and Kihyun bicker 24/7, Hyungwon has blue eyes, Hyungwon is a poor student, Hyungwon is a young and beautiful tease, Kihyun is a finance manager and Hoseok’s best friend, M/M, Mr. Shin, Namjoon is Hyungwon’s bestie, Office but not only, Previous Relationship, Ribbons, Slow Burn, Smut, Superior-subordinate, Teasing, Top Shin Hoseok | Wonho, a lot of smut, because real life is crack, discussions about literature, it's a complex topic., it's a mutation, mention of Changkyun who's a lawyer, scientifically accurate, this fic is about staring, we always finish our fics, you can smell Hoseok’s dominance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-04-25 09:49:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 258,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14376243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hichanchen/pseuds/Hichanchen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smut_Hemingway/pseuds/Smut_Hemingway
Summary: “What happens when two wolves collide?”“I guess it'll be very intense.”Shin Hoseok is thirty five and CEO of his own HR company, looking for an assistant after a major change in his private life. Soon after meeting Chae Hyungwon it's clear that the beautiful, blue-eyed and particularly young man is not only smart and competent, but also manages to offer him something, he can't bring himself to ignore.Chae Hyungwon is an excellent university graduate, looking for a job that gives him the opportunity to decide what he wants to do with his life while making money. Soon after meeting Shin Hoseok, the CEO of the company he decides to work for, his attention shifts and he starts desiring something he can't have.Hoseok is professional, dominant and distant, held back by previous experiences while Hyungwon is fuelled by the mystery surrounding the older man, determined to get what he wants.The teasing nature of their personalities, the working environment and the insane amount of tension between them lead to uncommon decisions affecting everything and everyone around.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dear readers,
> 
> we are back at it again and have brought you another work. It is again different from the previous ones and focuses on a complex topic. It will be full of tension and emotion, just like you are used to. 
> 
> We are really hoping that you will enjoy this story as much as our previous works if not more :)
> 
>  **ALSO:** For those of you who would love to have it on their bookshelf:  
>  There are **hard-cover versions** of our books, including TIED UP, that we ship **worldwide.**  
>  For those of you who are interested, you can find all the information and the online shop [HERE.](https://www.smutsis.com/online-shop/)  
> We write one character each,  
> @Hichanchen writes Hyungwon (and Namjoon) and  
> @Smut_Hemingway writes Wonho/Hoseok (and Kihyun+Changkyun+Female Character)
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> [@Hichanchen](http://twitter.com/Hichanchen)  
> [@Smut_Hemingway](http://twitter.com/Smut_Hemingway)  
> [@SMUTSIS Official Twitter](http://twitter.com/SMUT_SIS)
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)

The apartment was huge. Hoseok realized that while going from the bedroom to the kitchen after his alarm went off, ripping him out of his amazing dream. He had been on a plane, flying somewhere, a handsome young guy sitting next to him and telling him something about why synergy was so important these days. The amazement didn’t come from the guy, or the topic. It was the plane, bringing him somewhere new again, changing his surroundings and making his heart jump from excitement.  
  
_This is why you have the company._  
  
_And this is why you are where you are now._  
  
_You can’t give this up._  
  
He turned on the espresso machine and started the coffee mill, pouring the freshly grinded beans into the espresso handle, screwing it into the machine and pressing the button, hot, dark-brown liquid flowing out of the vent and dripping into the white cup. It was highly satisfying how the noises filled out the normally empty acoustic space, just like the black color filled the cup.  
  
_It is empty lately._

Grabbing the cup handle carefully, he swung the liquid inside, watching the pattern of the cream on the top change with each motion, more dark-brown, then more white, intertwining and creating a new pattern. Hoseok took a sip and sighed before glancing at his wrist. The uselessly expensive watch showed him that he had exactly ten minutes to get ready to go out.

The car was parked in the building, but he had to fuel it on the way to the company. Furthermore it was Monday and he had two job interviews with candidates for the assistant position he had advertised for quite some time, but didn’t find a fitting person for yet.  
  
_Why are there no smart, skilled people out there? Seriously, it can’t be that fucking hard._  
  
It was hard because the job description basically consisted of being his person, organising everything around him and travelling eighty percent of the time. There weren’t a lot of people who were interested in not being home most of the time, not being able to keep friendships running and a proper relationship, hobbies and whatnot.  
  
_There are not a lot of people who are as mental as you are._  
  
He simply loved the travel. Everything about it, which was also the reason for starting his own company at the age of 26, after finishing off his master’s degree in psychology and having worked for the learning and development division of a global car manufacturing company for three years.  
  
_Can you believe it was nine years ago? Holy fuck._  
  
Sometimes it was really hard to believe. He had everything he dreamt about, having gained so much on his way to success.  
  
_And losing. Don’t forget the losing._  
  
Another espresso followed and he slipped into his oxfords. He didn’t want to appear like a stuck up dick head, which is why he always paid special attention to his fashion choices. It went from classical suit with a tie to white shirts with ripped jeans, depending on the company culture of his customers and the people he was going to meet. He was a psychologist, so it had been a routine for him to observe and determine preferences from behavioral patterns and the things people usually talked about.  
  
_You’re the king of bullshitting, Hoseok. And sometimes people only find out after six years._  
  
The car seat was warm, thanks to the heating he could turn on from his phone. Modern jazz blasted from his sound system and he was ready. The short glance to the co-driver’s seat was automatic, but it was just grey. His laptop case rested on it and reminded him that he had work to do.  
  
The streets of Paris were a mess on Mondays. A rainy, dirty, crowded mess with tons of cars basically standing half of the way, people randomly parking in the middle of the road to go to the ATM or to buy a fucking baguette. It sucked and it strained his patience, but it was a good day. It had to be a good day.  
  
_Maybe that day is today, who knows._  
  
He parked, turned off the engine and closed his eyes shortly, concentrating on the way the air left his nostrils, warm and harsh. He opened the door, running out almost immediately to not get soaked and jumping into the swinging door, pushing the button on the key on his way, watching the white lights on the car blink repeatedly.  
  
His office looked the same, two big red couches, small glass table, huge white desk and a black chair. The books in the shelves were still the same, the files in the cubicles were also still the same. The huge painting of ‘The Great Wave Of Kanagawa’ graced the space over his desk and spread calm and excitement at the same time. Just like before.  
  
Two new files lay on the white surface of his desk and reminded him of the fact that he had to live through two job interviews and hadn’t prepared a proper structural approach.  
  
_Let’s just do it like this._  
  
The first candidate was a beautiful woman, freshly from university, well educated and with a nice CV. Her name was Madeleine and she was wearing a blue suit and a dotted blouse that fit very well to the pitch black hair, falling loosely over the thin shoulder.  
  
“When do you feel the most comfort, Madeleine?” he asked, leaning back on the red couch and taking a sip of his coffee. The black suit pants and the white shirt were a little too tight as he had worked out a lot during the past weeks.  
  
The woman was obviously shocked, probably having prepared the usual bunch of HR questions like strengths and weaknesses and how to deal with stress.  
  
“Uhm, I didn’t really think about this. Is it relevant for the job?” It was pretty tough to ask back and Hoseok found her more likable for doing that.  
  
“I just want to know if we fit together. Normally a job is just a job, there are tasks you fulfil on a daily basis and a certain amount of skill in the relevant domaine. It is the same here, only with an extension. We will be very close all the time so it is crucial for me to know what kind of person you are to determine whether we fit well personally. I might see your skill levels on your CV, but I don’t see the information I need, so I ask. Feel absolutely free to tell me if you don’t want to answer a question, it is understandable.” He took another sip of his coffee and wondered whether Madeleine would touch her coffee eventually.  
  
“I feel comfort when I’m at home, or when I’m doing things that I like and that I know how to do well. I think I really like it when there is a stable base of tasks that are familiar? Does it make sense?” The hair changed it’s position while the delicate hands were gesturing. Madeleine was able to formulate thoughts pretty well, he liked it. But the content was not what he was searching for in an assistant.  
  
After a couple of further questions that had made the decision easier he immediately explained why he would not hire her and gave detailed insight into the job including the long travelling periods and very diverse tasks, lack of planning possibilities and non existent social life. She understood and smiled. He really liked the smile. It reminded him of something he missed.  
  
_Let’s see who you’ll get next._  
  
The next person was male, Korean, at least judged by the name, and chose to not attach a picture to his CV. It was essentially okay, but rather unusual considering the fact that people might’ve declined the application just because of the absence of the picture.  
  
_Interesting._  
  
The CV was mind blowing. The man was a young twenty two year-old, had finished school one year earlier, completed his psychology studies in record time at Sorbonne University and spoke four languages fluently.  
  
_Why does he want to be an assistant?_  
  
Hoseok didn’t even want to prepare any questions. He was simply curious about the person behind the paper that made everything seem so perfect. Maybe the outer appearance wasn’t, but he didn’t really care about that.  
  
The door opened and a tall man walked in. He was slim and wore a perfectly tailored suit in a dark grey color, complimenting his light brown hair which was styled upwards. It looked rather effortless although time must have been invested nevertheless. Once the young man closed the door behind himself, making almost no noise, and turned around, he revealed the rest of his attire, white shirt and black oxfords. He didn’t hesitate before looking up and smiling brightly at Hoseok, lips spread wide. Unattractiveness was the least of his problems.

“May I sit down?”  
  
Hoseok gestured to the couch across himself and let the features sink in. It looked unreal. The face basically consisted of a pair of big dark-blue eyes and red plump lips. A perfectly round nose and golden skin tone made the other look even more attractive.  
  
_Isn’t this how photoshopped people look like? How the fuck is this real? Does he wear colored contacts for an interview? That’s some crazy dedication, wow._  
  
“So I’ll skip the ‘did you find the building’ and everything. Considering your CV you’d be able to discover a new theory in behavioral psychology while riding the subway. Tell me why you are here.” Hoseok smiled and took another sip from his coffee, pointing at the drinks on the table in question. The young man chuckled at his comment and reached for the cup, pouring coffee into it before adding a little bit of milk and looking up.

“Well, to be honest I read that it involved a lot of travelling in addition to the requirement of various languages and that fit rather well with the fact that airplanes happen to be my happy place,” his applicant answered before taking a sip of the coffee, placing the cup back with a soft sound and glancing at Hoseok, expecting a reply.  
  
_Airplanes, they’re your happy place too._  
  
“You love travelling? Well, you could travel without working. Actually the position is very special because you’ll have to be around me a lot. This means we should fit together well to not make it uselessly tiring for both of us. I need you to be able to organize everything precisely, travel with me to my customers, which would mean hanging around in airplanes for hours, meetings in hotels, new countries, different cultures. No going home every day, no meeting friends every Thursday and no social life besides me, although I don’t consider myself a replacement for a proper social life.” Hoseok grinned after his monologue and spread his legs a little for comfort, reaching for the coffee and refilling his cup while taking a couple of glances at the dark-blue eyes.

The other man seemed to be in thought for a few moments, letting the information sink in as he took another sip before crossing his legs and resting his hands on top of his knee. It was perfect to avoid appearing too nervous through various unnecessary gestures.

“Let me answer your question on travelling first. In my case it wouldn’t be possible to travel without working for two reasons. The first one is that one needs the monetary means to do so, unfortunately, and the second one happens to be my dislike for lack of occupation. I need something to keep me busy, to engage me and engross my head at all times. Travelling without a task or without anything aside from that might be too little for me.” He paused and smiled shortly, leaning a little further back on the chair. “Your description doesn’t scare me and sounds more perfect than anything else. I don’t have anything holding me here, as I have moved to Paris for studying and have no personal connection that would require me to remain and go home everyday. Also as sympathy is something that has to be present from both sides I can tell you that until now there are no problems from mine.”

_There wasn't a person who told you that they didn't like you while being in an interview. Meaningless._

Hoseok observed the way the handsome features changed during the switch of topic, corners of the mouth lifting up and eyes widening, before the expression turned more neutral after the sentence was finished.

“How do you feel about change?”  
  
“I don’t mind it. One might even say I welcome it. I have moved a lot as a child which speaks for constant change. Furthermore travelling might also be considered a desire for development, to see something different. I think that if I had minded I wouldn’t have added another change by coming to Paris for my studies,” the tall man answered as he bit down on his lower lip, before stopping himself and adapting a more neutral facial expression.  
  
“Fine. How would you react if I called you at 2AM and told you that we have to be in Shanghai in two days, what would you do?” Hoseok wanted to get a glimpse of the way the other man’s brain worked. There was nothing better than a process simulation for that.

The lip bite returned as the large eyes glanced to the ceiling shortly before focusing on Hoseok during the reply.

“After needing a few minutes to gain awareness I would most likely ask you if the tickets are organized yet and if yes which airport I need to go to and what you need me to take. Furthermore for how many days I am supposed to pack, if I am supposed to pack at all. Additionally it is relevant what exactly the meeting is for and if you need anything in relation to it. Although if there are specific types of trips that occur regularly I might have the answers to those questions at that point and would only need the time and place.”

_Yes. That's exactly it._

“I like how you think. Do you have any questions for me?” Hoseok established eye contact and put his cup on the table without shifting the gaze.

“Yes,” was the quick answer as the young man took another sip. “Why have you not considered hiring an assistant previously, as your tasks have not changed much aside from expanding based on my research on the company?”

_Breathe._

“Well, there had been a person before, who took care of some of those tasks, but she's not there anymore. Furthermore, and this is the major reason, I have to work a lot on concepts. It differs from the way one completes administrative tasks. I need more time and a certain mindset. The organizational work is getting in the way. I need space and a person I can fully rely on to be able to create better learning and development products.” Hoseok finished elaborating and crossed his legs.

The dark-blue eyes were watching him carefully as he spoke, head nodding once in a while as he switched the position of his legs, resting his hands on top of a knee again.

“That is perfectly reasonable as organizing your travels must take a lot of time from the actual content and meaningful results that you probably wish to focus on. I would have another question.” The man in front of him paused for a few seconds as he glanced at his face. “How much autonomy do you expect me to show? Am I allowed to plan your schedule according to what fits your preferences and meetings or are you someone who prefers to have control over every little thing and would want to give me detailed instructions?” Long fingers reached for the coffee cup and the young man emptied it before placing it back on the table, almost silently again.

He smiled, not believing that he had found a perfect person and stood up, waiting for the other to follow.

“You can do it as you deem fit but we will have a lot of meetings for you to get familiar first.” Hoseok looked into the dark blue eyes, somehow still absolutely unreal but showing no sign of a lens. “Let's fly then.” He stretched out his right hand.

The other looked surprised, eyes widening a little as he reached out with his own and clasped Hoseok’s.

“Just like that?” he asked, visibly caught off-guard by the sudden announcement. “No waiting for two weeks in the hope of not getting a rejection?”

“I don't do stuff like that. Can you come in tomorrow? We have a London trip coming up so it'll be an amazing opportunity to dive into the topic.” Hoseok grinned at the handsome face and the way the other man's hand still held his own. The blue eyes glanced down to the way their fingers were still touching, realizing the remaining contact and let go immediately, smile spreading over the lips.

“Of course, Mr. Shin. Just tell me the time.”

_No. Not Mr. Shin._

“Hoseok. It's Hoseok.” He smiled again and walked over to his desk, pressing the speaker and telling Kihyun, the Finance Manager, to take over.

“I’ll try to get used to that,” his ridiculously handsome new assistant said with a smile before nodding shortly. “I am looking forward to working with you.”

Lifting his right hand in a short wave the young man left, just as quietly as he had entered.

Hoseok sorted the files and prepared the documents for the briefing tomorrow. The person was really skilled and fast, behaving appropriately and expressions easily readable. He really liked the lip bite and the way the handsome man had chewed on the inside of his cheek while thinking about the solution to a problem he had given him.

 _Hyungwon. His name was Hyungwon_.

Hoseok had already told him about the company culture of calling everyone by their first name so he had to follow it too.

Kihyun came in, throwing a pile of papers on his table as if it was a garbage depot.

“Here. Are you sure the dude didn't think it was a model job? He totally looks like one. Can he even do anything properly?” The short brown haired man narrowed his gaze and inspected the way Hoseok reacted.

_You and your creepy friends. You are all mental, seriously. That's why you can't have all those nice things._

“He's a fast thinker and he speaks five languages. He has a psychology degree and he's not tied up in Paris, so travelling is okay with him. What more does he have to do? I didn't know he was handsome and you didn't either. You were the one who put him on my table,” Hoseok answered, looking at the terrible handwriting on the contract.

_Well, at least that's not perfect. Thank god._

“Fine. You know that he has blue eyes? It's sick. I asked him whether he was wearing lenses and he said no. He's either a liar or freaky as fuck. I like both to be honest.” Kihyun pointed at the signed contract repeatedly while talking. “Maybe you'll get your life back together, finally.”

_Not that it's something an assistant can fix._

“I'll be fine.” The short answer was enough for the other man to nod in understanding and leave quietly.  
_  
_ Leaning back on the black ergonomic chair he mentally set up a plan for the day, consisting of being home the least time possible. Working on the new project till 10PM, going to the gym to get so tired that it was hard to stand and fall into his bed at 1AM.

_It could be going like this forever. Planning is everything._

_And now you even have an assistant._

 

***

 

Elated mood was a fascinating thing. It changed one’s perception from beginning on, turning something negative into a neutral impression if not even into a positive one. It made the dirty streets of Paris appear less dirty, various ripped up papers, used condoms and grease suddenly much less frequent compared to only an hour ago when Hyungwon had entered the exact same metro station on his way to the company interview.

_The interview that you apparently rocked._

He grinned at no one in particular, feeling impossibly happy at the fact that the one job he had applied to (and respectively also the one job he had really wanted) was his now. Just like that.

_You don’t even have to wait for a reply, Hyungwon._

Had he not been a rather distant person with strangers he would have hugged a random one to release the outburst of excitement and happiness he felt. Instead of embarrassing himself in public he held onto a pole instead, keeping himself upright as the train moved in the direction of his shared apartment, none of the people around him demonstrating a mood that was even remotely close to his.

_Who knows, maybe the job sucks in the end and you will look just like that. Doing something you never wanted to do for the rest of your life._

Unlikely. Hyungwon didn’t like basking in utopian ideals but no matter what the assistant job would bring, it sure as hell wouldn’t involve him holding onto a pole in the Parisian metro while hating his existence. He was going to travel most of the time and there was nothing that could have ruined that fact. Not even standing in between two stations without moving an inch, waiting for the previous train to make way.

He had worried about the impression he would make, purposefully not including his picture to see if he would be invited based on skills alone. His best friend had called him naive, expecting to be invited without a picture, but apparently it had worked. Of course one might have argued that he had gotten the job for his looks in the end, but Mr. Shin didn’t appear like somebody who gave much of a shit about someone’s appearance. The questions had been precise, aware of what he wanted and especially meticulous with whether Hyungwon was someone who fulfilled them.

_And fuck yes, you do._

Again a burst of euphoria made its way through his chest and Hyungwon almost missed his stop, too occupied with thoughts of his future boss. He wasn’t even sure if he was a ‘future’ boss, considering Mr. Shin already wanted him at the company the next day to plan a trip to London.

Fuck, he was probably going to London.

He ran up the staircase to his apartment, taking two steps at a time, only stopping in front of the door because it required a lot of effort to open. With practised hands Hyungwon inserted the key and lifted the door a little bit until he heard the successful click and the heavy piece of wood opened, letting him enter the small shared flat. It was rather basic but more than he had been able to afford during the first semester.

When he had just arrived in Paris there was no way of looking for apartments and almost everyone who wasn’t french stayed at the dorms, sharing bathrooms and unfortunately also kitchen equipment that was quickly returned in an abused and disgusting state. Half a year of that torture had been perfectly enough to beg one of his dorm friends to move in with him, thereby affording a better place.

“How was your interview?” a low voice greeted him from the hallway. Namjoon was wearing loose sweatpants and an oversized grey t-shirt. Something about the way the color was unequal throughout the fabric told Hyungwon that it had probably been white once during its long life, but he decided not to remark on that. The other man had enough to do with the two master degrees he was studying for simultaneously. Whatever had convinced Namjoon that physics and maths in combination was a good idea, Hyungwon hoped that he was never going to meet it.

“You won’t believe it,” he began as he took off his oxfords and placed them at the side, slipping out of his suit jacket next and loosening his tie.

“You got the job because you are basically overqualified except for the fact that you have no experience?” Namjoon remarked absently, not removing his eyes from the book that he was holding in one hand as he adjusted his glasses.

_There he goes ruining all the fun with his predictions again._

“Yes, but no. Mr. Shin asked none of the usual HR questions. I was basically panicking on the inside since he just jumped right in by asking me nicely why the fuck I am applying for an assistant position if I could be doing something useful with my brain.” Hyungwon chuckled at the thought, remembering the way the older man had a rather intense way of staring at people, gaze dark and focused, only interrupted if he changed topic or took a sip from his cup of coffee.

_Don’t forget that he was hot as fuck._

Nope, Hyungwon was going to forget that he was hot as fuck, because there was no way that he was considering his future boss attractive. Hell no. Definitely not the best way to start a first job and he was _so_ not going there. Professionalism was the way to success.

“I am wondering about that myself since you handed in your application, Hyungwon,” his best friend remarked, finally removing his gaze from the thick book and closing it with a soft thud. “You could be starting out at a nice company with something you are actually qualified for.”

“Such as?” Hyungwon rolled his eyes, adjusting his suit pants and grabbing a package of potato chips from the kitchen, ripping it open and inserting two of them into his mouth carefully.

“I don’t know. Whatever psychologists do. Heal people? Tell others whom to hire? Go into science?” Namjoon followed him and stole a few snacks from his bag, stuffing them into his mouth while looking perfectly serious in the process, as if he hadn’t just covered most of the kitchen tiles in potato chip crumbles.

_Boring._

“I don’t want any of that, Namjoon. To heal people you need another additional degree that takes about three years to get. Telling others whom to hire is boring, at least like this. Science might be nice, but they don’t pay you anything and just exploit you for your brain mass. I don’t want to stay in place and I fear that entering a usual company is going to force me into exactly that. Why would I settle on something already? Can’t I just work a little bit like this and then see what I want to do? I didn’t even say that I am going to do this forever.” He was a little out of breath from the little outburst, throwing his job insecurities and lack of future oriented ideas concerning his degree at the other man. Good grades were only useful when you actually knew what you wanted to do with them.

Namjoon appeared surprised, staring at him for a few seconds before he hummed and took the package of chips from his hands.

“I know that you are dissatisfied with your options, Hyungwon. However, it’s not my fault. Let’s just be happy that you got the job and get to travel, since that is what you really wanted.” A soft smile materialized on the puffy lips and dimples appeared on the other man’s cheeks.

_He’s right, Hyungwon. Don’t let anything ruin your euphoria._

“You better drink on my employment with me. He took me just like that,” he remarked with a grin and checked the fridge for possible alcoholic beverages that they could mix into something pleasantly tasty but also high percentage.

“I told you you're a gem in the industry.”

_Now you just have to prove it._

_

 

It was impossibly full, just like the metro had to be at 7AM, filled with people going to work and hating everything around them in addition to work itself. For the first time Hyungwon was one of them with the exception that he hadn’t spent enough time at his job to hate it yet, mind fresh and excited about what it would bring.

Money for example.

His surroundings felt like a deja vu as he was wearing a suit again, a black one with thin white stripes and a fitting tie this time. But at the same time it was like starting a new stage of his life, one where he was not going to university but being productive instead. He felt like an adult as naive as it sounded.

_Wait until you actually pay taxes before getting excited._

He grinned as he left the metro, stepping through the turning doors of the company building and walking up to the reception. He had no idea how they coordinated everything at the current establishment, but he hoped there would be someone who would show him around and explain everything he needed to know. It was his first job and he wanted to leave an impression. An immensely positive one.

“Good morning, I have been hired as a new assistant and Mr. Shin requested my presence today,” Hyungwon began and smiled at the receptionist. She had a nice face, immediately evoking the feeling that she would do anything to help, no matter what the problem was.

_They are HR. They probably know how to hire people._

“Ah, Hoseok told me. We were moving books and files today because he decided to give you the office with the connecting door to his own office. I'm Ann by the way, nice to meet you, Hyungwon.” She smiled again and pointed at the elevator. “Just take it to the fourth floor. I'll tell Hoseok that you're there. He'll probably freak out ‘cause he isn't prepared but it might be funny to watch.” A loud genuine laugh came from the red lips as Ann’s eyes turned into small crescent moons. For a petite girl she had a rather obnoxious way of expressing her happiness.

Hyungwon smiled back, despite being caught off guard by the casual atmosphere. It seemed like all of them were on first name basis, comfortably talking about each other even if it involved making fun of inabilities.

_Now that’ll take a while to get used to. You don’t even call your own father by first name._

“It’s a pleasure meeting you, Ann. As long as there is a table and a chair he won’t have any reason to panic. I don't need much.” Hyungwon almost added that he was a student, but remembered that he wasn’t and therefore had no justification for his low standards anymore. Maybe it was time to raise them a little bit. “Thank you.”

Lifting his hand shortly in a goodbye he walked towards the elevator, pressing the button and entering immediately as it had been waiting. Pushing down the button with the number four he leaned against the railing and took a few deep breaths, calming himself down to not appear as excited as he was.

_Now be competent and professional about this._

The elevator opened to reveal a familiar hallway and Hyungwon stepped out, walking past the office of the HR manager that he had the pleasure to deal with the day before. The short man had been the first person to call Hyungwon out for wearing contact lenses and making fun of him for being good-looking at their first meeting. Definitely memorable. He stopped shortly in front of the open door to be polite.

“Good morning.”

“It'll be very good after the triple espresso shot. But hey, how are you standing up at this terrible time of the day?” Mr. Yoo who had introduced himself as Kihyun mumbled.

_This place is nuts._

“Considering that I was standing up at 9:45 to get to a lecture at 10:00 previously, I guess it is the exact same way: Forcing my dead body out of the blankets with the motivation of a better future,” Hyungwon replied and hoped that he hadn’t crossed any borders. He really couldn’t tell with the rather nasty looking man. Something about his eyes looked like he could stab Hyungwon in the back for a simple remark that was not to his liking.

“I knew you would be the perfect fit. My skills are no joke.” The other giggled instead and pointed at the CEO office. “Hoseok probably won't give you a better future, but he's one of the most intelligent and interesting people I know. You'll learn a lot,” Mr. Yoo eventually remarked with a serious expression on his face.

_That sounds fucking perfect._

“Learning happens to be one of my passions,” Hyungwon replied with a smile and nodded shortly before walking further, stopping in front of the familiar wooden door of his current boss and collecting his wits before knocking three times.

“Come in,” the deep voice sounded from behind the door. Hyungwon exhaled calmly as he pressed down the handle and walked in.

“Good morning, Mr. Shin,” he said and took a look around.

Opposed to the clean and well organized office from the day before he was met with masses over masses of books, covering most of the surfaces and partially the floor, building gigantic piles. His superior was sitting on the red leather couch and reading a book, appearing rather caught up in the content instead of looking up. He was clad in a black suit shirt and black jeans, less formal than he had the day before in addition to budapests that graced his feet.

_At least the shirt fits this time._

Hyungwon stepped closer, not quite sure what to do until the other man flipped a page and uncovered enough of the book front to enable him to read the title.

_Kafka on the shore._

“Oh my god, you’re reading Murakami’s ‘Kafka on the shore’,” he commented before he could stop himself, hand lifting to run through his hair at the nervous outburst and sure as hell hoping that his boss wasn’t religious and didn’t condemn using god’s name in vain or some similar bullshit.

The other man looked up, appearing in thought and glancing at a spot on Hyungwon’s pants before establishing eye contact and pointing at a page.

“This novel, Murakami said that it contains several riddles, but there aren't any solutions provided. Instead, several of these riddles combine, and through their interaction the possibility of a solution takes shape. And the form this solution takes will be different for each reader. Isn't it amazing? It shows how many possible solutions exist by a different combination of the riddles and the perception of the individual.” A hand removed the black bluish bangs out of the other man's eyes, only to make the soft strands fall back instantly.

_But that’s not the main virtue of the novel, is it?_

“But the ability to reinterpret a work of literature is something that is inherent to every good book, isn’t it? There have to be different levels of comprehension that come to you with each time that your read it, be it at the same age or at different stages of your life. I have reread ‘Kafka on the shore’ three times and each has given me something else to focus on. I love that it is one of the books in which Murakami shows openness to differences in preferences in addition to his usual approach of showing how closely interrelated dreams and reality are. Did you know that he was also greatly influenced by Hegel in the process of writing it? I love how obvious it is with the way Kafka thinks about the Oedipus complex fulfilling itself in his actions, similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy and how that might influence him being free. I love that book,” Hyungwon replied as he saw a stray unfamiliar book on his right side slowly making its way down the pile, fall eminent and only stopped by his hand that reached out and placed it more securely on top of a novel by Fitzgerald.

_Get a grip, Hyungwon. This is no literary club meeting._

The longer he had talked the brighter the grin on the other man's face spread. It was rather infectious, wide and genuine.

“I see you did your literature homework well. What I meant was how amazing it must be to create a piece like that, to build up riddles that function as a part of the solution. I'd love to create something like that, the complexity amazes me.” He closed the book with a loud noise, putting it on the table and standing up “Apart from the fact that Murakami’s novels are able to give you a feeling of a new world every time you dive into them, it's your first day but basically nothing is ready and I'm sitting here and reading. Must look very professional. Let's go to your office. We will be gone in two days either way so I'll have someone rearrange the books.”

Hyungwon smiled at the way the other man simply admitted to being unprepared. Opposed to what Ann the receptionist had predicted it wasn’t necessarily funny to watch, but appeared competent nevertheless. A person that read Murakami simply couldn't be dumb.

“The educational system isn’t great enough yet to include Murakami into the curriculum, which I am sure is a great loss to all of us. However, considering that we are supposed to be leaving for London the office isn’t of particular importance, is it? What is the trip for and what do you expect me to handle? Do you require plane tickets, a hotel?” Hyungwon asked as he switched into work mode, going through the relevant parts of planning a trip and following the older man into a connected office.

It was almost identical with his supervisor’s working space, white desk, black chair, red couch formation. The shelves in the cupboards were half empty, probably because of the books taken out. The office was huge.

_Holy shit. This looks as if you’re important._

Mr. Shin rolled another chair next to the black one and sat down in front of the huge monitor, clicking through an insane amount of folders, opening a presentation. Hyungwon tried to remember the path of the file system, but the other man was too fast, making his way through it without the intention of showing him anything. So he gave up and sat down on the black chair instead, crossing his legs and focusing on the screen as soon as content was present.

_This will be a lot to learn._

_Fuck yes._

“So we're going to London. The tickets are already booked and the hotel too. Unfortunately you'll have to stay in a room with me ‘cause its overbooked, but there'll be two beds so it should be fine for two days. What I need from you is something different. The customer is a clothing company and I need to fit a product to their needs. The thing is, if I keep looking at the products I've created for long enough, l get the feeling that I'm the chosen one, the genius, which I'm not. So I need an opinion and ideas from a fresh psychology graduate.” The man next to him talked in a deep, low voice, gesturing with his right hand and looking over to him, who sat in close proximity.

_This assistant job seems to be much less coffee making than you expected._

_And possibly harder, but not content wise._

Hyungwon glanced at the way the other man’s thighs filled out his jeans before he realized that it was a rather bad idea and might have appeared unprofessional, so he focused on the face instead, nodding at the fitting moments and feeling immensely happy at the possibility to contribute somehow.

“I’ll do what I can,” he replied and rested his hands on his knee, attempting to look less excited than he was as he chewed on his cheek to help himself concentrate.

After talking back and forth for about half an hour and a perfectly done presentation of a soft skill development product Mr. Shin turned around and stared him right in the eyes.

“You have two weeks to tell me if this job doesn't do it for you. After that there will be no probation period and you'll get the normal contract. Be honest, I don't like beating around the bush.” The dark gaze scanned his eyes, mouth and forehead.

_Intense._

Hyungwon had thought that the other man evoked a rather intense impression during the interview, but apparently the gaze was something particularly inherent to his eyes, constantly focused and impossibly fierce. He licked over his lips and stared back, surprised at how quickly Mr. Shin must have gotten used to his eye color.

_He wants honesty so you’ll be honest._

“So do I. As you said, there are many things that I could be doing so I will definitely tell you if the job isn’t for me.”

The question was always how much honesty people wanted. Often the mere wish for honesty was just something said because it seemed right or like a way to control what could happen, while the truth was preferably kept unknown. Luckily Hyungwon had enough time to find that out, throw little bits into the conversation once in a while and see how Mr. Shin would react.

_You are going to see him often enough to figure that out._

“Awesome. I need your ideas on the presentation in two hours because that's when I'll be adjusting it. I'm also on the other side of the door so just come in if you have any questions.” The other man smiled, corners of his mouth curling up, stood up and walked over to the door.

“It’ll be done, Mr. Shin.”

“It's Hoseok. Do I have a hard name? Or do I remind you of an old uncle?” The pale face turned to him, eyes sparkling in the rays of sunshine passing through the window and throwing shadows on the muscular neck.

_Holy fuck._

The words didn’t sound strict on their own or like they were condemning Hyungwon’s manner of calling him by last name, but the way the black-haired man said them and the way the dark eyes were focused on him made Hyungwon want to apologize immediately. But he wasn’t going to because he struggled with calling important people by first name. It was a habit.

In addition he kinda hated giving up.

“None of those, but I have been taught that it is beneficial to keep at least a little bit of professional distance, so I thought it would be appropriate. After all you are my superior and older than me, Mr. Shin,” he answered calmly and exhaled as soon as the words had left his lips, biting down on the lower one automatically.

“Well how much older do you think I am?” The figure walked over to the table and placed both hands on the white surface, leaning in a little to match their eye level. “How about I teach you that it's beneficial to call me by my first name?”

_Shit, now he just needs to tell you that he’s going to spank you for being a bad boy._

Hyungwon would have slapped himself if he had enough space to do so without brushing the other man’s muscular arm and if it had been appropriate in the current situation of course. He couldn’t tell if his superior considered his behaviour more casual and therefore appropriate or if he was teaching him a lesson in some way, but he sure as hell hoped the distance would be more than the pathetic five or less centimeters that were between the arms on the desk in front of him and his slim body. He couldn’t help but continue staring as his lower lip suffered further abuse by his teeth.

“You didn't seem to be afraid of me to call me Mr. Shin so persistently. Or are you?” The man tilted his head to the side and let the intense gaze slide over his face to his neck.

_Fuck yes you are if he keeps invading your personal space and eyefucking you._

“I am not. As I said it just seemed more appropriate to me. Can we agree that I will call you by your first name as soon as I feel like I know you sufficiently? After all it is my first day and we don’t really know each other.” Hyungwon really fought with himself for a few seconds. “Mr. Shin.”

Something lit up in the dark eyes and the man removed his hands and walked over to the door, movements smooth and effortless, like a snake. Hesitating a little he turned around, a smirk slowly spreading on the curled lips. _  
_

“Even at the bakery I buy baguette at they call me Hoseok. Well, you might want to call me by my name after we've shared a room. You'll be able to see enough I guess.” The door opened and he disappeared behind it.

_Did he just make an innuendo or is that just your brain, Hyungwon?_

It was definitely his brain because there was no reason for his boss of exactly one day to hint at Hyungwon seeing him naked at a hotel room and thereby having enough information about him to call him by first name. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if seeing Mr. Shin naked would make calling him by first name any easier. Fuck, he didn’t even want to think about his boss naked.

_Don’t be a teenager and focus on the task at hand._

Hyungwon placed his palms flat on the white desk and took a deep breath before glancing at the proposal that he had to develop an elaborate opinion on. His superior seemed to have a preference for winning verbal fights, but that didn’t mean that Hyungwon had to give up immediately. After all his goal was to show competence and the little disagreement on how to address each other only fuelled that wish further. Mr. Shin must have seen something in his reaction that made him feel superior (which he technically was) and therefore evoked the smirk that he saw right before the muscular man disappeared behind the door connecting their offices.

_Just don’t let yourself be intimidated, Hyungwon. You’re going to work for him and do what he asks you to do, so it’s perfectly justified for you to keep that one little thing that you don’t want to do._

_Right?_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wanna do it here or would you like to sit on the bed while I do it, Mr. Shin?”

The carry on case was lying open on top of his ridiculously huge bed as he looked through the mahogany shelves of his wardrobe, picking out the appropriate items to pack for the London trip in two hours. He had to be at the airport in half an hour and was almost ready, placing black Armani underwear into the suitcase, next to his work-out clothes and swimming shorts. The hotel had a gym and a pool which he was surely going to use. The two blue tailored shirts and a pair of blue suit pants completed the picture and he closed the zipper, putting on his dark brown coat.

It was the first time in a while that he traveled with somebody else, but Hyungwon seemed to be a smart and educated person, interested in literature and able to provide interesting ideas, which he had proved by creating an amazing flow chart regarding the new customer the day before.

_Yes, the day you almost pinned the poor boy against the desk because you hate getting called by your last name._

He really hated getting called by his last name. He was Hoseok and everybody complied to that. Everyone besides his new, stubborn assistant. He didn't like repeating himself and it got a little tiring, which made him hint to the room sharing.

_But you do sleep in underwear only, so of course he will see you half naked._

On the other hand he had really liked the nervous lip bite. It was very attractive. Just like the cheek chewing.

_You often find it attractive when people show their inner state. It makes them more likable._

_Hyungwon is cute._

How could he not be cute, freshly from university, thinking that calling a person by their last name would create distance? Actually it had been hilarious, both the superficial argumentation and the other man's reaction at him being a little more stern than he normally was.

_He's 22. What do you expect?_

Nothing much actually. The other man had done everything that Hoseok had asked him to do until now, showing superior skills and hereby being fully qualified to fulfil his tasks as an assistant.

Arriving at the terminal he spotted the slim, tall figure at the designated meeting point, wearing tight suit pants, a tailored white shirt and a light brown coat over his shoulders, ditching the suit jacket and the tie. He was leaning against the wall, one leg propped up and staring at his phone, headphones plugged into his ears and hair styled up as usual, showing forehead.

_He really looks like a model._

Hoseok stopped in front of him, holding the business class tickets into his face to get attention. The dark blue eyes looked up and a smile spread over the plump lips as the young man pulled his headphones out of his ears and packed them into a pocket of his coat.

“Good day, Mr. Shin,” he said politely and reached for the small black suitcase on his side, accepting his ticket with his other hand and eyes widening a little at the sight of it. “Wow, I have never flown business class before. Is that where they constantly ask you what you want instead of letting you sleep?” A few moments passed until the features calmed down again and Hyungwon glanced at him with a more serious gaze. “Would you like a coffee before we fly or anything else? How do you drink it and would you like me to take care of the tickets for both of us?

_This stubborn person, for fuck’s sake._

_But that's also some serious attitude, Hoseok._

“Yes, I need a coffee although it might appear a little late. I can't really sleep anyway. You can take your ticket, everything else is already organised because you weren't there yet. Regarding business class, they do let you sleep but you can drink champagne while flying. I book it for comfort reasons, the seats and tables are better and I can work more productively while I'm in the air,” he answered and walked towards the gate.

Coffee while watching the planes land and take off was always the best, especially in the evening.

Hyungwon smiled as he walked next to him, easily matching the speed despite his long legs. He brushed his right hand through his hair once as he glanced at his watch quickly.

“You didn't say how you like your coffee.”

“Black. It's black,” Hoseok answered without looking to the side.

He heard how Hyungwon murmured something next to him that sounded suspiciously close to ‘like my soul’ before the young man left his side and disappeared into the crowd.

_Cute._

_He's really cute._

Hoseok laughed at the comment and went through the schedule he set up for himself, consisting of reading and working for a bit, although there was probably not enough time.

_Too bad that Paris-London is such a short flight._

_

The key card evoked a short beep and the lock of the hotel room opened as Hoseok walked in, pulling his suitcase after himself and expecting Hyungwon to follow. The receptionist had been apologizing for five whole minutes before Hoseok had just told her that it was fine and that he wouldn’t die from sleeping in one hotel bed with his assistant.

_There are a lot of things that are much worse. Actually it's not bad at all, maybe he will stop calling you by your last name, finally._

He took off his shoes and coat, put the luggage on the floor and started unpacking, placing neat piles on the black shelf, leaving the bottom one for his assistant. A look at his watch revealed that it was 10 PM and he knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway, so he decided to go for a workout, preparing the shorts and the white running shirt, before he remembered that Hyungwon was there too.

The brunette man was standing in the middle of the room and staring at the double bed for what felt like a whole minute before he finally sighed and began unpacking his rather miniscule luggage. The two of them agreed in their minimal packing behaviour.

“At least it's not a honeymoon room,” he murmured and hung a pair of pants and two freshly ironed shirts into the provided wardrobe instead of using the shelves. “Are you planning on still going somewhere, Mr. Shin? Do you require something?”

“It could also be a honeymoon room. As long as it has a bed, a bathroom and a table I'm fine,“ Hoseok commented absentmindedly while undoing the buttons of his suit shirt one by one and going through his plan for the evening. “I'm going to work out for one and a half hours, probably. After that I'll shower here and will maybe work for one more hour, depending on how tiring I'll make the workout. You can of course sleep. I can be very quiet, you won't realize that I'm there.”

Hyungwon appeared a little surprised at the answer, chewing on his cheek and nodding slowly.

“According to my schedule the meeting is at 7:30 tomorrow. Are you sure that forsaking sleep for a workout is worth the reduced productivity?” he asked and glanced at the ceiling as he did so, visibly avoiding Hoseok with the way he turned his body halfway towards the door.

_Is he uncomfortable? Well, that could be, maybe he had never undressed in a changing room before. You've met people like that, it's really hard to adapt._

“I won't be able to sleep otherwise and I am used to this.” He slid the shirt down his shoulders and turned to the side, glancing at the young man. “Are you uncomfortable? You didn't seem like someone who'd be taken aback by that. It's okay though, just tell me. There are a lot of cases where it makes sense. I'll be considerate and change in the bathroom.” He smiled shortly.

“No, not at all. I don't care,” Hyungwon replied quickly and turned towards him, gesturing with both hands. “I'm just still a little overwhelmed that I'm in London, working an actual job and sharing a double bed with my boss for some reason.”

The dark blue eyes focused on his face and the young man pushed his luggage to the side, having unpacked everything of relevance as he threw himself on the nicely arranged sheets, removing a few stray strands from his forehead.

“I don't really know what to do with myself if there is no work to be honest. I need to occupy myself as I mentioned, but I have already prepared everything for tomorrow in advance to make sure it's perfect. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

_Is he bored?_

“Want to go to the pool? They have a hot tub too. You could relax a bit and I always take a spare pair of swimming shorts.” Hoseok rubbed over his naked stomach, thinking about going to the pool instead. Swimming was workout too.

Hyungwon watched him carefully as he swallowed and glanced at his own body for a short moment before focusing his gaze on Hoseok’s face again.

“I do enjoy swimming, however is it really okay to shamelessly use opportunities like that during a work trip? It feels a little wrong to me, like I shouldn't be basking in the benefits of a high class hotel like that,” the young man replied and sat up, crossing his long legs on top of the bed as he leaned on his arms. “In addition I don't want to take your spare swimming shorts away from you. There must be a reason for taking a spare after all.”

_Why is he so complicated? Does he want you to persuade him? How cute is that?_

“I take spare shorts because I sometimes go to the sauna in Arabic countries where you're not allowed to be naked, simple as that. And the high class hotel is there for you to use. You don't want to? Nobody is forcing you, Hyungwon.” He finished with a small smirk and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling out the swimming shorts.

_The pool will probably be better, there's basically no-one at this time._

The young man took a deep breath as white teeth bit down on his plump lower lip.

“I would love to come back to the offer another time, Mr. Shin,” he answered eventually and let his arms give out, lying back down on the bed and covering his eyes with his underarm. “I'm glad that you allow me to bask in the benefits though and I'll make sure to do so, but not today.”

_God, no-one is forcing him. It's not part of the job description._

“Feel free to do whatever you want. It's all up to you and it's definitely not part of your contract.” He smiled and pulled down the zipper, before packing the work out clothes back into the wardrobe.

Suddenly the light brown hair popped up in his periphery again as Hyungwon sat up and glanced in his direction.

“Maybe you can leave your spare shorts in case I change my mind.”

He pulled the piece of clothing out of the suitcase and placed it on the chair.

“Feel free.”

Hoseok decided to spare the young man with his nakedness and walked over to the bathroom, changing into the shorts and stepping out, pulling the bathrobe around his waist and taking his card.

“See you later. I'll be quiet in the case that you're asleep.” He brushed back the black bangs and went out.

The pool was huge. After swimming about 30 laps he felt his body complaining about the continuous strain and decided to use the hot tub, slipping in and enjoying the way the bubbles felt around his tired body, hot water covering the aching muscles. He threw his head back and basked in the atmosphere, dimmed lights and no one around.

_Since when do you like it to be alone?_

The sound of naked feet on partially wet tiles interrupted the silence, moving steadily in Hoseok’s direction until it stopped right next to him.

“May I join?” a familiar low voice asked from the side, spacious room creating a slow echo.

He opened his eyes gradually, turning in the direction of the voice and spotted his assistant, wearing his shorts, tied tightly around the slim hips as they were probably not quite his size. He took the time to slide his gaze over the long body, slim but lean, golden skin tone, sucking in the features intently. The brown hair was wet and appeared much darker than it's usual tone, letting the blue colour of the large eyes stick out even more.

_He can't be wearing contacts while swimming, the colour is real._

He smiled before leaning back again.

“Sure, feel free.” His heart was still pumping the blood furiously, not coming down from the intense workout, tiny beads of sweat covering his forehead.

The water shifted as Hyungwon slid into the jacuzzi, leaving enough space between them and placing his arms on the sides of the tub as he followed Hoseok’s example and leaned back.

“Have you enjoyed your swim?” he asked and let a wet hand slide over the small face, brushing hair out of the way before returning it to its previous spot.

_Well enjoying isn't exactly it, but it's still kinda fun._

“Yes, it was pretty tiring, which was the objective, so I'm trying to calm down in here.” He let out a low chuckle, before opening his eyes again and catching the young man's gaze. “You really have blue eyes. This is very interesting. Not that I especially care about eye colour but the combination is indeed very unique,” Hoseok commented and licked his lips once, trying to get back the moisture.

Hyungwon had apparently been staring at him, eyes focused on his face and showing a short twitch of a well formed eyebrow when Hoseok had met his gaze. The look in the blue eyes was a little different and accompanied by a lip bite before the expression transformed into a short smile.

“People tell me that a lot in addition to pointing out that I'm crazy for wearing contacts to the sauna.” A chuckle left the plump lips and the young man shifted a little, arms holding onto the edge closer to his head as he sunk deeper into the water, eyes closing for a short moment. The other was surprisingly hairless, even for a Korean.

Hoseok did the opposite, pulling himself out and stretching the arms along the edges, chest against the backrest over the water. He mustered Hyungwon attentively, trying to integrate the previous information into a concept that made sense, but it didn't quite fit yet.

_No data, no concept._

He brushed back the wet bangs, heartbeat calming down gradually and looked over the other man's facial expression.

_He was so sure he didn't want to go and now he's sitting with you in a hot tub. What made him change his mind?_

The young man shifted in the water again, causing smaller waves of bubbles to brush over Hoseok’s chest. Taking a deep breath Hyungwon pushed his head under water and remained like that for a while as the long body took up more space and a slim foot touched Hoseok’s calves in the process.

He waited until Hyungwon came up and grinned brightly.

“So you like swimming in a jacuzzi,” he said with a chuckle, leaning his head against his right hand.

The other man grinned right back as he sat down properly but kept moving his legs around, brushing Hoseok’s foot once in a while.

“I generally enjoy swimming, but in this case I attempted to wake myself up a little. I tend to fall asleep when I'm particularly comfortable and I thought diving might help.” Hyungwon appeared cheerful as he spread his arms along the edge and sighed, head tilting back and emphasizing the slim neck. “What was the person like, the one that did the job before me? I hope I can replace her well.”

_No-one can replace her._

“It was pretty complicated. You don't need to do her justice. I hope I can have a different kind of relationship to you and I am also pretty sure that you're the right person for this. I'll try to show you as much as possible, if you decide to stay after the two weeks.” Hoseok shifted the topic in a more comfortable direction and licked over his lips, observing how the bubbles appeared on the surface, dipping one arm into the water and watching the air surrounding the pale skin.

“We'll see about that I guess,” Hyungwon replied and glanced up again, watching Hoseok carefully as he chewed on his cheek. It must have been a rather elaborate habit. “How old are you actually, Mr. Shin? You haven't told me.”

_This stubborn person, for fuck’s sake._

“I am 35 and you love provoking, don't you? I'm still thinking whether I should let myself be provoked so that you can have your fun, or just be that really intimidating person.” A grin spread on his face and he dove under the water shortly before coming up and brushing back the wet hair.

Hoseok’s words must have had an effect as the younger man swallowed and broke the eye contact, clearing his throat before he established it again.

“First of all, you're really young for someone with a company like that. I'm impressed. Second you got me wrong there. I have no intention to provoke you. Just as I told you I am only on first name basis with people that I genuinely know and that is not the case yet when it comes to you, Mr. Shin.” The long fingers on the other man’s right hand stroked over the edge and drew random circles, occupying it somehow as he glanced at Hoseok. “I'm sure that I'll call you by your first name eventually.”

“Thank you for the compliment, you're also young for someone with a CV like that. I've never met a person that refused to call me by my first name.” Hoseok narrowed his gaze and looked at the signs of nervousness appearing in Hyungwon’s behaviour.

_But he's pretty stubborn for being that nervous. Why not comply like a good boy?_

The fingers paused their movement and sank into the water, quickly followed by the younger man's other hand, body slipping far enough to cover his whole chest until the collarbones.

_Very pretty collarbones._

“I've tried hard to be desirable on the market I suppose. Left all possibilities open,” the low voice remarked, still echoing a little in the empty room. The wet brown bangs were framing his face and had Hyungwon not just dunked his head into the water one might have thought it had been styled for an effortlessly wet look.

“Why didn't you attach a picture? I mean you obviously know that you're very handsome and you're not stupid so you must've known that people judge by the first appearance, so why?” Hoseok remembered wondering about that, but had forgotten to ask. He dipped further into the hot water, feet resting next to Hyungwon.

“We're both psychologists so I'll spare you a sum up of studies on outer appearance providing more success in addition to a large variety of other factors. However I didn't want it to be the focus of the decision making process. I wanted to see what mattered more, lack of my outer appearance or presence of skill.” The slim man smiled and apparently wanted to rest his weight on his arm as he accidentally brushed over Hoseok’s skin and quickly decided for the other, shock apparent on his face before it dissipated into nothingness.

_Is he scared of you?_

“You don't need to be all scared and nervous. We're in a Jacuzzi at midnight so it's fine.” He smiled and licked over his lips, letting the words sink.

The blue eyes widened shortly before Hyungwon groaned and sank further into the tub.

“That doesn't make it sound any less weird, Mr. Shin. I'm not scared or nervous, just unsure what I can do and what I can't,” the young man replied as his gaze gained intensity, eyes seeming even larger than before, filling out most of the pretty face.

_What does he want to do though for this kind of reaction to come out?_

“Well you can just ask. I'll tell you my honest opinion. What do you want to do?” Hoseok returned the gaze, getting a strange feeling at the intensity but mirroring it nevertheless, curious about the reason for the other man's behaviour.

The eyes widened quickly and Hyungwon sucked his plump lower lip into his mouth.

“I-It was just about the fact that you're my superior after all and I'm not sure how close you usually get to your other employees in conversation and apparently also action. I just want to make sure I do everything right,” he answered eventually, breaking the eye contact and stuttering at the beginning.

_Not nervous your ass. He's freaked out because he's sitting in a hot tub with you and is being forced to sleep in one bed with you, too. Give him a break, the poor boy is probably overwhelmed._

Hoseok smiled at him and placed both hands on the edge, lifting himself all the way out of the water, movement smooth and precise, concentrated on the way his muscles flexed at the strain. He ended up sitting on the edge, both feet still dipped into the tub.

“I'm close to my employees, but they don't need to go to the pool with me so it's absolutely voluntary.” Hoseok grinned and stood up, grabbing his bathrobe.

“For fuck’s sake,” Hyungwon muttered and pulled himself up as well, remaining on the edge as he glanced up at Hoseok, some wet strands covering his forehead and giving off a rather different feeling compared to his styled self. “I'm perfectly aware that you don't force anybody to sit in a hot tub with you. I'm pretty sure that would look different. My point was another one though.”

Hoseok turned around and glanced down while water ran down his body, creating a puddle under his feet.

“You’re doing everything right, don't panic. I'm going up.” He slid his arms through the white fabric and tightened it around the waist, brushing his hair back for comfort.

Hyungwon watched him carefully as he remained seated on the edge, no towel in sight and drops running down his lean body continuously.

“I think I will still soak a little. See you later then, Mr. Shin.”

“Mr. Shin my ass,” Hoseok whispered more to himself and winked at the young man before going towards the elevators.

 

***

 

Hyungwon loved planes and he absolutely adored travelling. A trip to London was everything he had desired after finishing his degree, fingers itching with excitement. Flying business class and staying at a premium hotel was only adding positive emotions on top of the already present euphoria. Instead of being a spoiled piece of shit he had only ordered a diet coke on the flight and hadn't abused the unlimited alcohol possibilities. Especially considering that he was actually on a work trip.

Everything had been perfectly easy and exciting, but plans never really worked the way they were supposed to, so obviously it hadn’t lasted long. Such was life.

Of course he had to spend over five minutes at the reception, staring at the shiny ground which was basically made of glass and ingrained with Swarovski crystals. Hyungwon had had no idea of what they actually looked like but the sign outside the hotel was perfectly sufficient to recognize them and know that the place was way too expensive for his standards and above everything he could have dreamt of affording.

As soon as Mr. Shin and him had entered the room, the bed discussion that Hyungwon had overheard at the reception finally made sense. The beautiful dark brown parquet floors of the room were occupied by a gigantic double bed, covered in silk sheets and looking more expensive than a monthly rent of his apartment. There were a few cupboards of the same type of wood as the bed, painted black in addition to a desk that stood in one corner of the room. It looked fancy and was most likely for a couple.

_Which you sure as fuck aren't._

His boss must have been a particularly special individual with a high score on the ‘not giving a single fuck’ scale. It wasn't a properly tested and validated scale but Hyungwon couldn't help believing in its accuracy as Mr. Shin just casually undressed without any further thoughts, offering to go to the pool and a hot tub with him instead of proposing work relevant tasks.

_Holy shit, Hyungwon. How fucking casual can a company be?_

He had no idea and he wasn't sure whether he actually wanted to know either, suffering from the fact that Mr. Shin was much more worked out under the tailored shirts that he liked to wear than it had appeared, strained buttons already giving a hint but not revealing the whole picture. The view was good enough for Hyungwon to force himself to look at the ceiling instead. Checking out one's boss three days after being hired didn't sound like a rational way to act at all.

_Professionalism is the key. Professionalism._

Still he couldn't resist asking for the extra pair of swim shorts, indicating that despite the previous rejection he considered it possible that he would change his mind and join the other man after all.

_Why would you, Hyungwon? He's hot but you can't just sit in a hot tub and check him out shamelessly. He's your boss._

As soon as Mr. Shin had left the room, only clad in a dark pair of swim shorts and a bathrobe, most of the legs still visible, Hyungwon let his head fall to the double bed he was sitting on and groaned loudly.

There was no fucking way he was going to survive the trip without embarrassing himself at least once. He was already rather close with his constant lip bites and inability to suppress his wandering eyes. Mr. Shin was hot, no matter how old he was and Hyungwon's skin tingled from seeing the beautifully pale skin alone.

_He invited you though, so he probably doesn't mind at all. Who knows, maybe he's always this close to his workers?_

Hyungwon fought with himself for about half an hour, trying to decide what he was more worried about, missing a hot sight or losing his job because of fucking up. As thirty minutes were sufficient to convince himself that the risk of losing his job because of this was rather low he quickly grabbed the swim shorts he was given and changed into them. The muscular body form of his boss only became more obvious when he tightened the shorts as much as possible on his slim hips, golden skin contrasting with the black color.

Calming himself down with a few deep breaths and grabbing a bathrobe, Hyungwon went to the pool to swim with his boss of three days, half naked, like a fucking weirdo.

_With your ridiculously hot boss._

Whatever semi-serious thoughts Hyungwon had developed about the actual possibility of sitting in a hot tub with his boss, none of them had prepared him for the actual sight. Mr. Shin had impossibly pale skin, only coloured on the cheeks due to swimming vigorously before and making each muscle even more visible. The appearance was out of this world, wet hair, constant lip licking and smirking. The older man kept making hypotheses and talking calmly but it was damn difficult to concentrate, eyes constantly moving up and down the body in front of him, partially disappointed at the bubbles for covering the sight. Hyungwon genuinely considered dunking himself underwater to deal with the tingling in his legs, clear sign for being sexually attracted.

_To your fucking boss._

Maybe that had been the reason for saying whatever, hinting at his insecurity about what he was allowed to do and what he wasn't. The comment had been stupid. He couldn't have told Mr. Shin that he found him attractive anyway and wished to touch him, so it was pointless to mention it.

However he was unable to keep himself from seeking at least a little bit of contact, resting his leg close to the other man's and brushing it once in a while, enjoying how soft the pale skin felt.

_Hyungwon, he's your boss and if you fuck up he's going to fire you and it won't matter anymore how much you love travelling and how smart you are._

“I'm close to my workers, but they don't need to go to the pool with me so it's absolutely voluntary,” the black-haired man said and pulled himself out of the water, muscles straining at the motion and each little twitch visible from where Hyungwon was sitting.

_Fuck._

The sight was mesmerizing, perception slowing down like in a movie scene, drops leaving the chest slowly and biceps bulging as Mr. Shin stood up.

“For fuck’s sake,” Hyungwon murmured, unable to control his words and pulling himself out of the water as well, thanking his body for not showing his attraction physically yet. He pointed out that he didn't feel forced anyway.

_Except for by your own curiosity._

Shin Hoseok was a tease, in the real sense of the word, drops running down his body as he kept smiling that curved smile of his and covering his pale skin with a bathrobe. He seemed to be amused by Hyungwon's antics and it was frustrating. He wanted to be professional and leave an impression.

_Or be desired at least._

“I think I will still soak a little. See you later then, Mr. Shin,” he said carefully, unable to take his eyes away from the other man's body as he walked towards the exist, murmuring something that sounded suspiciously like ‘Mr. Shin. my ass’.

_You frustrate him by calling him by last name, but he's much worse, sitting there half naked and brushing his hair back, muscles bulging and chest on display. Fuck._

Hyungwon jumped back into the hot tub and felt immensely grateful for the lack of other people. The quality was impressive and must have been marble, options endless on the side of the tub and way too many for him to bother to change anything. He just had to soak a little longer to calm down and preferably be late enough for the older man to be asleep already. Sexual attraction was best fought with avoidance and less nakedness.

_Be professional and make sure this job stays yours. Travelling is more important than orgasming, Hyungwon._

It was. Taking a few more deep breaths and covering himself in his bathrobe he made his way back down to the shared room, hoping that Mr. Shin had already gone to bed and would spare him awkward conversations that weren't related to work.

He slid in the key card and held his breath as he opened the door slowly, attempting to be as silent as possible as he stepped into the room, closing it quietly again.

The bed wasn't occupied and remained just as carefully arranged as it had been when Hyungwon had jumped off of it. Mr. Shin wasn't asleep yet. Sighing in a mixture of disappointment and parallel relief at not having to deal with his libido immediately Hyungwon took off the bathrobe and pulled the swim shorts down his hips, reaching for a pair of comfortable pyjama pants that he put on in addition to a loose t-shirt.  
  
The bathroom door opened and the muscular figure appeared, pitch black, semi-wet hair covering the forehead, tiny drops spread all over the pale skin, worked out body shimmering in the dimmed lights and wearing only black, pretty tight armani underwear.

 _For the sake of all things nice and holy, why?_  
  
“Ah, you’re back.” His boss smiled and licked his lips. It must’ve been a habit. “I bet it was more fun sitting there by yourself.” A small smirk appeared but disappeared just as quickly.

_No, because he ruined it with his fucking gorgeousness._

“Conversation gives input, so of course it is more interesting with someone else, unless I have a book,” Hyungwon remarked and thought about how to walk past the other man towards the bathroom without touching too much. He needed to brush his teeth but he also didn’t want to give his brain more reasons to think about naked pale skin.  
  
A hand brushed back the black hair, uncovering the forehead and a genuine smile appeared on the handsome face.  
  
“That’s true, I also enjoyed your company.”

_There are quite a few things he might have enjoyed more._

Hyungwon hissed and glanced at the ceiling, hoping that his brain would keep all the innuendos and unfitting ideas to itself.

“Thank you very much, Mr. Shin,” he said and slipped past the mostly naked man, finally getting to the bathroom and sighing in relief, quietly so that his superior couldn’t hear. He just had to brush his teeth, slip under the blanket and survive until tomorrow. The next day would be perfectly professional with enough complex tasks to keep his head occupied with useful things.  
  
His boss had a different opinion, appearing in the bathroom and grabbing the black toothbrush, opening the cap of the toothpaste almost in slow motion, before squeezing a little on top of the brush. The black-haired man appeared concentrated, eyes a little bigger than usual, looking somewhere into empty space and lip sucked into the curvy mouth.

Hyungwon held his own breath as he reached for the toothpaste and covered his own toothbrush with the white substance, watching how the older man let the black tool disappear in his mouth as he used his own.

_For fuck’s sake, Hyungwon. How old are you? Fifteen?_

He brushed his teeth furiously, attempting to speed up the process and disappear from the situation, eyes continuously returning to the worked out body, abs defined and shoulders broad. His boss could have probably lifted him with one arm, biceps about triple the thickness of his. In addition he had juicy thighs and Hyungwon loved juicy thighs. Damn.

“Do you sleep in underwear?” he asked out of nowhere as soon as he removed the brush from his mouth and cleaned it with water. It was a rather sudden and stupid question but the answer was relevant for his sanity. “You shouldn’t sleep with wet hair, though.”

 _You could dry it for him._  
  
His voice had disturbed whatever the other man had been thinking about as the dark eyes settled on his face before he got an answer.  
  
“Yes. Does it disturb you?” The way the gaze slid over his facial features was a little intimidating. “I’m always too lazy to dry it, but I guess it’ll be fine.”

Hyungwon shook his head and stared at the wet strands, framing the face beautifully and making the skin appear almost white. Had he been back in Korea most women would have been dying over his skin tone, corresponding to the beauty ideals.

“I can dry it for you. I have mad skills,” he said before thinking about it proper, images of being close for a justified reason taking his actual ability to reason.

 _Mad skills at blow drying? Really, Hyungwon?_  
  
“Uhm, sure it’s fine with me, but not as part of your job description. You must’ve gotten an amazing first impression of my company already.” The other let out a low chuckle, gaze still fixed on his face.

Mr. Shin was definitely right about that. Whatever they considered normal at the company, Hyungwon had learned something different. Keeping distance, showing respect, not talking to much and making sure to ask for opinions. The atmosphere was much more than casual and he sure as hell didn’t think he would be offering his boss to dry his hair for him.

“I sure hope it’s not in my job description. That would be kinda weird. I’m still trying to get used to the fact that you guys are much more casual than I’m used to. I was taught differently,” Hyungwon replied and took a look at the other man’s hair, drenched in water without much effort to at least get most out. He lifted a corner of his mouth in distaste at the sight and reached for the hairdryer. It wasn’t connected to the wall, which was a first for Hyungwon. Hotels always worried about getting their shit stolen, but this one seemed to not give a single fuck. “Wanna do it here or would you like to sit on the bed while I do it, Mr. Shin?”

 _That sounded weird as fuck. Get a grip._  
  
The handsome features jerked a little at the mention of the last name.  
  
“I’m sorry but that sounded a bit like some teacher student porn. ‘Do you like to sit on the bed while I do it, Mr. Shin.’” The mouth spread in a grin and his boss walked out, throwing a white shirt over the naked upper body and slipping inside the running shorts before sitting down on the bed. “But yes, I’m going to sit on the bed while you do it, Mr. Chae. I’m looking forward to the display of the ‘mad skills’ you promised me.” Something about the other man’s expression looked a little nasty. Hyungwon would have loved to steal it off the handsome face through his actual blowing skills, but it wasn't meant to be.

_Maybe the nakedness wasn’t all that bad. You only know what you lost when it’s gone._

“Sounds like you’ve watched your fair share of it then. I guess I’m getting closer to knowing you, Mr. Shin. Preferences and all,” Hyungwon said with a grin and hoped that he wasn’t going too far. “But I have a lot of so called ‘mad skills’. Maybe we’ll have enough situations for me to display them.” He connected the hairdryer above the bedside table and took another glance at the wet black strands. A brush would have been beneficial, but Hyungwon wanted to touch the other man now that he had a good excuse to do so. His fingers would have to do.  
  
“Teacher-student is not really my thing. Corrupting the inexperienced doesn’t really get me going. Need to know my preferences for porn to call me Hoseok? Just ask me, I’ll tell you. And I’m also pretty sure about the skills, Mr. Chae. I’m looking forward to it.” Mr. Shin leaned back a little, propping himself up on both arms.

_Holy shit._

Hyungwon swallowed once and sucked his lower lip into his mouth, focusing on the way the black hair looked instead of the way the biceps bulged at the motion. His boss was sitting on a fucking bed in front of him and telling him about his porn preferences and offering even more information just to be called by first name.

“Interesting, most men seem to have an interest in the idea of being the first, having something no one else had.” Hyungwon chewed on his lower lip a little and wondered whether the older man would keep up calling him by his last name too. He didn’t really care much. “You sound very keen on hearing me call you by your first name. Are you willing to offer a lot for that?”

“I don’t need to be the first who opens the bottle, as long as I can taste what’s inside.” The man in front of him shifted a little and the curvy lips lifted up in a smirk. “The amount of stubbornness you are willing to show me instead of just calling me Hoseok is very impressive. I guess you’re not as good a boy as stated in your CV.” The last sentence was accompanied by an intense gaze while the pink tongue licked over the red lips.

“Do you dislike bad boys then?” Hyungwon asked, licking over his lips too and couldn’t believe that he genuinely desired to be a bottle for the first time in his life. Mr. Shin had something impossibly dominant and intense about himself, eyes remaining dark and focused independent of the situation, be it work-related or private. He wanted to begin drying the black hair but it felt a little out of place, eye contact remaining and paralyzing him in his movements.  
  
“That depends, but the bad turns into good while dealing with me, so I guess I don’t really have a preference there.” A hand brushed back the black hair as his boss still seemed to slide the impossibly intense gaze over his facial features, before going down to his neck and stomach and back up.

_Shit, he’s dominant, Hyungwon. Dominant and confident as fuck._

_But probably straight._

“Isn’t that similar to desiring to be the first though? Being the one to crack someone, the only one who sees something that others don’t. You don’t mind bad boys because you are capable of cracking them then,” Hyungwon commented as he kept up the gaze, letting his lips move into a smirk, teeth still nibbling on the lower one.  
  
The other man just laughed shortly before leaning forward a little and basically staring right into his soul.  
  
“You’re cute. I’m not cracking anyone, it happens as a consequence of the dynamics. I guess this is a side of me many people enjoy.” The tongue slid over the lips once again, giving the moisture back and letting them shimmer a little. “But you wanted to show me your skills, I’m all yours.”

Great, his boss was not only unbelievably casual but also effortlessly hot, having a naturally dominant character and just accidentally and as a byproduct cracking people’s will. Amazing.

_Just that he called you cute. Asshole._

“Wait for it, hon,” he murmured and stepped between the older man’s legs, turning on the hairdryer and letting his long fingers slip into the black strands, arranging them on top of his palm as he blew hot air over them, repeating the motion a few times and massaging the scalp as he went along. He wasn’t kidding about being good at this. He did it often enough to have a fucking degree in styling people.

_Did you just call him hon because he provoked you? Fuck._

Black eyes kept staring from under the black strands, it was pretty intense for a hair-drying session. Hyungwon couldn’t help but shift his body, letting his right leg brush along the firm thigh as he let his fingers intertwine with the strands and pressed down as he slid them along the scalp, blowing warm air over the beautiful black color in the meantime. He was in pyjamas but his face was still pretty and maybe it would have an effect instead of being cute. For fuck’s sake. No one had ever called him cute except for when they saw his childhood pictures.  
  
The other man shifted his legs equally and stared up shortly.  
  
“Your pyjamas are cute too.”

Hyungwon suddenly wanted to choke him, blood boiling at the words and sucking in air sharply, keeping his fingers as tender as they had been. He was good at this and sudden outbursts of emotions were not going to change that. In addition he was dangerously close to vulnerable body parts if the insults got any worse.

“Maybe you should be careful with your words considering my position right now,” he whispered and let his hand glide down to the neck, identifying a tense muscle and massaging along it. Mr. Shin must have been sitting in front of a computer for most of his day.  
  
“I can’t do anything about the facts. The position seems absolutely fine to me, why? You wanted to be intimidating?” The dark eyes reappeared and a bright grin spread along the red lips.

_Asshole._

“Would it be less cute if I took it off?” Hyungwon asked instead of reacting to the provocation, pulling at his pyjama shirt and exposing a collarbone with the hand that held the hairdryer. Shin Hoseok was out to drive him up a wall today and he was actually a rather calm person. It just felt disrespectful somehow, like he considered him a child, which he wasn’t.  
  
It was silent for a couple of seconds, the other man’s eyes sliding up over the uncovered skin resting on his face.  
  
“Don’t know, it’s up to you. Want to take it off? I’m fine with that. I sleep in underwear anyway.”

_Get a grip, Hyungwon. He’s probably straight and your boss on top of that. What are you even doing?_

“I’m sorry, Mr. Shin. I just have immense dislike for being called cute,” he remarked, sighing loudly and stepped a little closer, both legs fit nicely in between the thick thighs as he focused on the hair, stomach close to the other man’s face. The less he saw of his boss, the easier the whole thing was. He turned off the hairdryer and placed it on the bedside table before sinking both of his hands into the black strands, massaging properly and focusing on getting the knots he had identified previously out of the tensed muscles.  
  
“Do you feel offended by that? On what basis? You seem very cute to me.” The low voice breathed hot air against the fabric of his pyjamas.

“Because it makes it sound like I am a child and I do not see myself as one. I have a degree and started working, experiencing enough to at least have a grip on life. It just seems like it diminishes my efforts,” Hyungwon answered genuinely as he moved his fingers slowly along the forehead and to the temples, massaging them carefully and pressing down as he moved down to the neck. It was a very calming action, easy to focus on and thereby avoid inappropriate thoughts about his boss. Suddenly it seemed like a very good idea that the older man had gotten dressed.  
  
“Well you’re young and you’re doing and saying things I consider cute. Sorry if it offends you in any way.” The other man slid further down the bed, hot exhales tickling his skin. “Mhm, you smell nice, what is it?” The handsome face appeared between his arms, intense gaze focussing on his eyes.

_Dear god, why?_

“Ehm, my shower gel I assume. Something with lilac?” Hyungwon replied, caught off guard with the sudden eye contact, pretty face impossibly close and tempting. “Do you mind if I extend to your shoulders? The tension is no joke and I am rather worried you’ll die of headaches if this continues.”  
  
He was confronted with a grin.  
  
“The tension is no joke, it’s true,” the other man commented and bit down his lower lip. “But how are you going to massage my shoulders like that? Should I lie down?” Hyungwon couldn’t believe that Mr. Shin had actually replied to the implicit meaning of his words before he even realized that they had implicit meaning. Fuck.

_You better think of something appropriate quickly before you climb him like a fucking tree, Hyungwon._

“Ehm, yes. As you wish. I can do it like this, it’s just a little harder to press my fingers into the area between your shoulder blades. Just get comfortable and I’ll do the rest.”  
  
Mr. Shin just put more distance between their bodies and pulled the white shirt over his head, naked upper body on display, veins going from the neck down, curling along the muscular arms. The other man was attractive, so attractive that Hyungwon barely suppressed the urge to run his fingers over his chest with some random excuse that he would have pulled out of his ass afterwards.  
  
“I’ll lie down. I might fall asleep though. Don’t overdo yourself, not that you’ll hurt yourself more than you help me.” The words were accompanied by a low chuckle.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Shin. I have a lot of strength in my fingers,” Hyungwon answered and wiggled them in front of himself, grin in place, before gesturing at the bed, waiting for the other man to lie down on his stomach. He wanted to finally touch him while having an excuse, even if it was just the back. The other complied, resting the head on top of his hands.

Hyungwon took a deep breath before climbing on top of the bed, sitting down on top of the surprisingly firm ass and hoping it was not too much for their relationship. One that was supposed to consist of promoting synergy and travelling while sleeping in separate hotel rooms.

He reached for the muscular shoulders and couldn’t help running his long fingers along the shoulder blades and along the spine, only caressing instead of massaging, fingertips impossibly tender. He wanted to kiss and bite along the white skin, leave marks and listen to how the older man sounded when he felt pleasure.

 _Don’t you dare get hard while sitting on him just because you stroke his back, Hyungwon. Bad timing._  
  
He could see how the other man’s lips curled up in a smile, while the dark eyes were closed.

_Don’t be too obvious._

“Crazy how white your skin is, wish mine was like that,” Hyungwon commented and put more strength into the way his fingers moved, massaging the area between the shoulder blades, especially tense and making his way down along the spine. A low moan escaped the other man’s mouth when he pressed down on a tense muscle.

Hyungwon was an idiot. He thought it was a good idea to massage his hot boss, just because he was good at it and of course forgot that he was good at it and therefore easily made people moan while doing it. Smart move.

_Seriously, your CV is a lie. You have no common sense._

Sucking in a deep breath he raked one hand through his light brown hair, soft to the touch from washing it with the provided shampoos at the swimming pool. His eyes remained on the naked skin in front of him as he resumed the motion, resting his hand softly against Hoseok’s forehead while the other pressed down into his neck, working the tension out of the muscles. The other man was going to feel like a new person the next day. Too bad that he wouldn’t be interested in the whole program.

“Enjoying it?” he asked instead of focusing on his thoughts, brushing a few black strands out of the way to see the older man’s expression better.  
  
“You weigh almost nothing,” the low voice commented, eyes opening slowly while the pink tongue licked over the lips once again. Hyungwon chuckled at that.

“Well, have you seen my body? I’m rather slim. You could probably lift me with one hand.”  
  
“I did. I know. I probably could,” the older man answered before moaning once again at Hyungwon abusing the neck muscle.

“You must work out a lot.” As the reaction was the most intense it seemed only logical that it was the most affected area, so Hyungwon added a bit more strength and secured his position by narrowing his thighs around the hips he was sitting on, focusing on the way the skin felt under his hands and where the knots were, eyes closed.  
  
“Yes, it’s a part of my daily routine. Is it tiring? It’s fine, you don’t have to do this. We can also sleep.” His boss turned his head in the opposite direction, biting down his lower lip.

“Not at all. I’m just closing my eyes so I can focus on the feeling in my fingertips, identify where you’re the most tense. You seem like you need it and I am perfectly fine with providing, Mr. Shin,” Hyungwon replied, enjoying the way the muscles felt and glad that the effort he invested was sufficient to distract him from how tempting the whole situation was. He could have just rolled his hips for personal friction or placed a kiss on the exposed neck and back. But he didn't.  
  
“I’m really curious about your criteria for calling me by my first name. You’re sitting on me while massaging my back so the Mr. Shin seems so off, holy f-” Another lip bite and a silent moan sounded through the room.

Shit, Shin Hoseok was fucking hot. The timbre of the voice was attractive and so was the way the other man constantly licked over his lips. There was something to it that couldn’t be attributed to the looks alone. For that Hyungwon had seen too much of the other man in action.

“You’ll find out. They aren’t consciously decided on. Whenever it feels right,” Hyungwon murmured and pressed down on the same spot, watching the expression intently.  
  
Suddenly the body under him moved, turning around and almost throwing him in the air, had Hyungwon not tried to remain seated with all his might, ending up over the other man’s lap, big, dark eyes staring at him in disbelief.  
  
“What kind of decision making is that? There must be a specific thing you need to know or see.”

Hyungwon’s breath hitched, pyjamas rather thin and not capable of sparing him the knowledge of what sitting on his boss’ clothed dick felt like. The older man under him appeared surprised at his unwillingness to call him by first name. Wasn’t it obvious? It was easier to try to tell himself that he shouldn’t be thirsting after his boss if he didn’t think of Mr. Shin by his first name. It was a little desperate considering their current situation, but Hyungwon had never called anyone work related by their first name, unless they were his age. He had no idea when he would because it had never happened.

“I don’t even call my own father by first name, Mr. Shin. I can’t really tell you what it will require because it hasn’t happened yet.”  
  
“Oh for fuck’s sake, how hard can it be?” He could see how the pale hands moved towards him but stopped, pressing into the sheets instead, such that Mr. Shin lifted his upper body, reducing the distance between their faces. The gaze was intense, eyes sparkling and mouth curled into a smirk. “I have to reconsider my strategy.”

_Why the fuck are you still sitting on his dick, Hyungwon?_

He didn’t know where to put his hands, aware of how inappropriate it would have been to place them on the chest or the neck, so he just left them next to his thighs, fingers curling into the sheets as he stared at the other man, eyes wide.

“How?”  
  
The hips shifted under him and the other man licked over the bottom lip before answering.  
  
“Well, I told you I thought of letting you have your fun with it instead of being the intimidating person. I think I’ll reconsider.”

_Oh shit, is he gonna threaten you with firing you? What are you even doing, Hyungwon? Don’t risk everything like that!_

His body tensed automatically and his breathing frequency increased, worry at negative consequences numbing his senses. He really needed that job and firing him for not calling his boss by first name was going too far wasn’t it?

“I’m sorry, it’s just hard for me. I don’t mean to provoke you,” he murmured, avoiding the eye contact and staring at the muscular chest instead, chewing his cheek. The desire to touch the older man remained no matter how scared Hyungwon was.  
  
“Did I scare you?” The eyes slid over his features again, as if sucking every tiny detail in, face coming closer. “I didn’t mean to, at least not now. I think it’s my first time having an addressing issue with someone sitting on my lap.”

Hyungwon knew, he just knew that it had been the cue to slip down from the warm thighs, to get to his side of the bed and pretend that nothing awkward or beyond their business relationship had happened. But he didn’t. Instead he remained seated and chewed his cheek while he shook his head, suddenly silent instead of the open way he had talked just now. Shin Hoseok had intimidating eyes, intense and grabbing him by the heart and squeezing.  
  
The face in front of him tilted to the side as the other man exhaled, hot air hitting his neck lightly.  
  
“You are not scared, but what are you then?” The gaze narrowed, sliding over the neck, jumping to his ears, mouth and resting on his eyes.

_Attracted._

“Weirded out?” Hyungwon tried and let his palms leave the sheets, rubbing over his own thighs slowly before he used his right hand to brush brown hair out of his face, sinking his fingers into his hair and closing his eyes to get a visual break from the man he was sitting on. He could have ended it so easily but he just didn’t.  
  
“I don’t think so.” Shin Hoseok’s low voice filled the auditory space, words pronounced clearly and loudly.

_Fucking now, Hyungwon._

“Then don’t,” he muttered and finally lifted his hips, sliding off the older man’s lap and letting himself fall to the sheets, eyes closed and hands reaching for the blanket blindly, not finding it.  
  
“Gosh, you’re really cute.” A blanket was placed over his body, bed shifting along with the other man’s weight.

The anger was right back, tingling at his fingertips and awakening the desire to stuff the other man’s mouth with his blanket. Or dick. Or both.

_Just give it two weeks, Hyungwon. Two weeks and you’ll have the contract and then you can relax and prove him wrong._

Just make sure he doesn’t fire you until then.  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is about to go down ladies and gentleman. Look forward to chapter 3. 
> 
> Next Update on the 25th of April at 2 PM CET.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck getting fired, Hyungwon. This is totally worth it.

Hyungwon had been admittedly an amazing employee, impressing him with his fast way of thinking and creative solutions for problematic tasks, resulting in Hoseok giving him more complex ones and feeding the other man’s immense hunger for new topics and learning content. It had been exactly two weeks from their first encounter and he walked over to Kihyun’s office to talk about the contract, adding a couple of terms and raising the pay because of the complexity.  
  
_Maybe you should also add a ‘calling me Hoseok’ clause, so he’ll finally listen._ _  
_ _  
_ Their trip to London and the most tension filled interaction he had with an employee seemed forgotten, making working around each other comfortable.  
  
_He wanted to say something back then, which he didn’t. He wasn’t weirded out, why the fuck would he have sat on your lap for five fucking minutes?_ _  
_

The whole story with hair drying, pulling down the cute pyjamas, thigh brushing and massaging his neck although he had only asked for the hair part had been kind of cute and obvious but it didn’t make sense. He had jumped on the train, curious about the boy’s intentions, ending up lying on the bed with the handsome man on top of him, who didn’t do anything special to change that fact. In the end it had been fine. He had dry hair, a massaged back and Hyungwon was sulky because he had called him cute.  
  
_Just hope that he doesn’t think that it’s some weird place where you have to sit on your superior’s lap as part of the job._ _  
_ _  
_ Hoseok did everything to resolve the non existent misunderstanding, keeping professional distance and having exclusively work, literature or art related discussions with the broadly interested young man, reducing body contact to a minimum.  
  
“Did you guys talk?” Kihyun greeted him with a smile made of iron. Hard, shiny and not disappearing anywhere.  
  
_No._ _  
_ _  
_ “I’m not here because of that. We need to add a couple of terms for Hyungwon’s contract,” he answered, not willing to talk about anything else.  
  
“I’m going to ask you this every day because this is absolutely nuts, Hoseok. This is sick and unhealthy, please deal with it accordingly. It won’t change only because you ignore it for long enough.”  
  
Hoseok narrowed his gaze and leaned down, staring at his brown-haired friend.  
  
“I’ll be fine, Kihyun. I don’t want to talk about this,” he hissed and put the papers on the other man’s table. “These are the new clauses I need to put in. I’ll need it in fifteen minutes. I’ll be in the feedback meeting with him.” He squeezed the slim shoulder and stepped out walking inside his office and turning on the coffee machine in the corner.  
  
_Now just hope that he’ll stay._ _  
_ _  
_ He grabbed the two cups and paused in front of the connecting door, knocking with his foot and opening the door with the elbow. Hyungwon was sitting at his desk, back perfectly straight and typing something quickly while holding a phone to his ear, speaking in a language that sounded like German. He glanced towards Hoseok and gestured with his free hand to sit down already and held up two fingers, indicating he would need maximally two minutes to finish what he was doing.  
  
_He is the perfect fit._ _  
_ _  
_ Hoseok took a sip of his coffee and leaned back, looking at the ceiling and thinking about one of his favourite quotes from Albert Camus’ ‘L’Étranger’ he had reread two days ago. ‘I laid my heart open to the gentle indifference of the universe’. It was absolutely beautiful, because it was true.  
  
_Because the universe doesn’t care about your pathetic problems and it’s absolutely right with this attitude._

Hyungwon ended the call and quickly typed something on the keyboard before rolling over to the couch with his chair and placing a plastic cup in front of Hoseok.

“There was an error at the station before mine at the metro, so I walked part of the way. Ended up going past that Italian you like so much so I asked for a double espresso,” he remarked and crossed his legs, adjusting his tie a little.  
  
“Ah, he’s the best. Thank you so much.” Hoseok smiled and leaned forward, spreading his legs a little and taking a sip. “So, are you going to stay?”

A grin passed over the plump lips as Hyungwon nodded before interrupting their talk to roll over to the phone quickly, which was blinking. He picked up and held it to his ear.

“Not now, Kihyun. You can bother me later,” he said with an eye roll before he hung up and rolled back.

“What nice things do I get for staying?”  
  
_That asshole calls Kihyun by his first name._  
  
“You’ll know in ten seconds.” Hoseok grinned and sipped on the coffee slowly, gaze intense and turning his head towards the door. As expected it opened and Kihyun walked in, throwing a pile of paper on the table, pointing a finger at Hyungwon.  
  
“I don’t know why Hoseok does all this for you, he must be mental.” The short man turned around facing him and mouthed ‘yes, you’ in his direction before leaving again.  
  
“It’s the contract. I adjusted a couple of things as your tasks will be different and so will the complexity, which means more money and more opportunity for using that smart brain of yours. You can read it in peace, I just need it until tomorrow.”

The grin on the pretty face was bright as he nodded again and glanced at the papers on the table.

“Sounds like my birthday to me. I’ll go through it and tell you what I think tomorrow. Anything else you wanted to discuss, Mr. Shin?”  
  
_He probably wants to make you suffer on purpose. He just doesn’t understand._ _  
_ _  
_ _But it’s also not his business._  
  
“The ‘Mr. Shin’ thing that’s making me uncomfortable. Actually, the congress next week. We need to plan out which part of the project we will present and have the hotel and flights ready soon. I’ll take the project documents home today and will come up with something by tomorrow, let’s talk between 10-11PM.”

Hyungwon smiled shortly, eyebrow raised and rolled towards the printer, grabbing a few sheets of paper and placing them in front of Hoseok on the table, carefully avoiding the coffee cup.

“I have already booked the flights. Concerning the hotels I have a few options that I picked out based on your preferences on the last four trips and I would like to know which one is more to your liking. The sports options vary in addition to size of the room,” he elaborated and changed the leg that he crossed, licking over his lips as he checked the documents for mistakes quickly.  
  
“Didn’t expect less from you. I need a running machine, weight lifting and or a pool. Room size doesn’t matter as long as it has a bed, a b-” Hyungwon interrupted him suddenly.  
  
“A bathroom and a table. I know, given in all of them. Concerning the sports equipment I was more concerned about the model. Do you have machine preferences? The brands differ and I wasn’t sure how picky you were.”  
  
“I don’t really care as long as it doesn’t fall apart,” he replied and stood up, taking both cups and walking towards the door.

“Perfect, I’ll take care of the rest and tell you what I think about the contract tomorrow then,” Hyungwon answered and rolled back to his table, immediately typing again as if he hadn’t stopped.  
  
_Look how he’s changing from one state to another in a matter of seconds. You should be able to do that too. It’s not that hard, right?_  
  
_  
  
  
The workout had been really tiring and Hoseok was very sad regarding the absence of an elevator, running up the stairs to the fourth floor of the renaissance building. He stepped inside his spacious apartment and placed the shoes on the rack, hanging the coat on one of the hooks. The space was really huge.  
  
_And empty._ _  
_ _  
_ He walked over to the bedroom, getting comfortable clothes out of the big wardrobe, changing into black sweatpants and a t-shirt that made his face look even more pale. Gustav Klimt’s Judith graced the space on the grey painted wall over the bed, black hair and golden skin, extraordinary colors intertwining in the breathtakingly beautiful painting, reminding him of something he missed but didn’t want to.  
  
_Maybe you should get rid of it. There are enough other works of art you could put there._ _  
_ _  
_ The painting managed to taint his mood.

The brown wooden floor looked especially dark with his naked feet walking over it, taking him to the living room, where he opened the cabinet located at the bar table and poured a double shot of saffron gin into a black glass.  
  
_Just down it and work. You can work better when you’re tipsy._  
  
The liquid disappeared in his mouth in one movement, leaving pleasantly burning trails along his throat and spreading into his chest. He repeated the motion with another double shot, placing the glass on the table with a loud noise.  
  
_It’s so fucking quiet._ _  
_ _  
_ His naked feet took him to the hallway where he opened his laptop case. Just to realize that the laptop wasn’t there.  
  
_Fuck.You forgot it at work. Just like the documents. Fuck._ _  
_ _  
_ He grabbed the car keys before the realization that he had drunken four shots of gin hit him like a brick in the face.  
  
_Why? Why the fuck are you like this? This is all supposed to work perfectly, why do you ruin it?_ _  
_ _  
_ He felt extremely uncomfortable, knowing that he was not able to do anything, before grabbing his phone and dialing Hyungwon’s number, saved under 1.  
  
“Hyungwon, are you still at the company? I forgot my laptop and the printed documents. I’d drive over, but I kind of drank,” he shot out, clenching his hands into fists and hoping the other man was still there, like the last couple of days.

There was some shuffling that resembled the sound of paper being moved to the side, already answer enough to know that the young man was still there.

“You're lucky. I was just about to leave. You want me to bring them to you?” Hyungwon asked and Hoseok could hear him walk somewhere, opening a drawer that must have been his. “Where exactly are they?” More shuffling followed. “Ah, in the printer. Best place to forget something.”  
  
“Yes, exactly. My laptop should be on the table. I live right next to the Arc de Triomphe, Avenue carnot. Take a cab, I’ll pay.” Hoseok rubbed his index finger over the right temple in an attempt to get rid of the pressure.

Hyungwon gasped, remaining quiet for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and fumbled some more, having found Hoseok’s laptop judging by the sounds. “Want me to use the company card then?”  
  
“Yup, just ring at ‘Shin’, that you love saying so much. See you in a bit. But really, thank you.” He chuckled and hung up.  
  
_Good that you have an assistant who’s saving your sanity._ _  
__  
_ He walked over to the bookshelves and slid his finger over the beautiful covers, stopping at number fourteen from the right. Pulling Dostoevsky’s ‘Idiot’ out he stared at the cover before opening the book randomly, staring at the letters on the top of the right page.  
  
‘I swear to you that I am not quite such an ass as I like to appear sometimes, although I am rather an ass, I admit.’  
  
_Well,_ _if that’s not you._ _  
__  
_ He closed the thick book and glanced at the cover again, the necessity for a painful facepalm increasing dramatically.  
  
_You could’ve taken a fucking cab yourself, Hoseok. Where the fuck is your brain for making Hyungwon come all the way here? He probably also thinks that you’re mental._

The soft sound of his door bell broke the silence, filling out the large, quiet space and ripping Hoseok out of his thoughts.  
  
_Give him at least a fucking coffee or something for coming all the way here although your ass could’ve gone on it's own._ _  
_ _  
_ Hoseok walked to the door and pressed the key, telling the other man that it was the fourth floor.

A while passed before he could see Hyungwon moving up the last staircase, rolling his eyes and breathing faster than usual.

“It's way too late for such a workout. That's like eight flights of stairs. If we assume each one has 12 steps that's almost a hundred. How do you do this everyday?” he asked and reached for his shoulder bag even before he got to the door, pulling out Hoseok’s laptop.  
  
“Come in.” Hoseok left the door open and walked into the apartment. “I really liked the view, that’s why I bought it. Has a unique charm.”

The young man threw him a surprised look and stepped through the door, pulling his shoes off and glancing around.

“You want me to come in? I thought you just wanted me to bring your stuff. I'm not gonna say no of course, since I'm rather curious how you live, but one has to make sure.” He opened the buttons on his light brown coat with practised ease, long fingers moving quickly from one to the next before he pulled it off his shoulders and hung it up.  
  
“I said ‘come in’, so yes. Sorry for making you come all the way. I realized that I could’ve also taken a cab, but my brain was a little slow, that damn gin.” Hoseok chuckled and waited for Hyungwon to follow. “Well if you’re here anyway we could talk about the presentation in a bit, if you’re not occupied otherwise.”

Hyungwon kept glancing around as he walked after him into the apartment, wonder obvious on his features.

“It's not a problem. It's shorter for me since I was still there, so of course you asked me. Would have been a different story if I had been home already, I guess. Working on the presentation is also perfectly fine with me. I have no plans.” A grin passed over the pretty face. “I hope the gin was tasty at least.”  
  
“It was delicious. Want some? Or a coffee?” Hoseok asked while going past the kitchen.

“It's too late for coffee so as long as it's not your precious I'd be happy with a shot of gin.” Hyungwon was still looking around the whole time, stopping shortly in front of some of the paintings on the walls to take a proper look. “I love the way the apartment is arranged. In addition I love Gustav Klimt although I wouldn't hang up his paintings at home I think.”  
  
He stopped in front of the bar table, pulling out a glass and filling the saffron gin inside, light shining through the orange coloured liquid and throwing beautiful reflections on the black wood. Turning around he stretched out his arm, holding the glass in Hyungwon’s direction.  
  
“Thank you. I would’ve hung up different ones. I just didn’t have time to rearrange in the last three months.” He glanced up at the ceiling shortly.

“Three months is a damn long time. You must work a lot,” the younger man remarked as he accepted the glass with his thumb and ring finger and smelled the orange liquid. “This smells amazing and like something I can't afford. The best.” A grin passed over the plump lips again and they attached to the glass, taking a careful sip.  
  
Hoseok stared at the way the other man’s face looked while drinking, lips pressed against the transparent glass lightly, orange gin disappearing inside the red mouth, eyes half closed and adam's apple moving while the handsome young man swallowed the liquid. It looked beautiful.  
  
_Because you drank four shots of gin._ _  
_ _  
_ He closed his eyes shortly and exhaled, opening them again after a couple of seconds.  
  
_Maybe you also need another drink._ _  
_ _  
_ He grabbed the black abandoned glass and filled a little inside, turning around again and putting the cold material against his lips while taking a small sip.

“I might genuinely consider prostitution for this. That's how good it is,” Hyungwon remarked with a laugh and took another sip, breathing in the scent right after. “I'm envious. I also want to be successful as fuck and rich in ten years.”  
  
_Remember what you did when you were 22? Better not._ _  
_ _  
_ Hoseok laughed at his own memories that consisted of psychology and dick and caught the other man’s gaze.  
  
“Well, you have a lot of time and your potential is stunning. Also there’s much more to a person than one can see, so don’t be envious.”

The brown-haired man stared right back as he licked over his lips.

“I could make a pretty long list of positive qualities if I had a blank sheet of paper and a pen.” Hyungwon's eyes slid down along Hoseok’s t-shirt and sweatpants before coming back up. The two of them must have looked like from two different scenarios with the way the young man was dressed in a dark blue suit, similarly dark tie contrasting with the white shirt.  
  
“I don’t wear suits at home,” Hoseok commented, grin spread on his face and resting his hips against the bar table.

“I would have really worried about your sanity if you did, Mr. Shin,” Hyungwon replied and swallowed more of his drink, leaning against the counter with the slim hips.  
  
_Just hope that he’ll choke on the ‘Mr. Shin’ some day._ _  
_ _  
_ “Just wanted to make sure, because you scanned me. This ‘Mr. Shin’ is driving me nuts.” He walked over to the black leather couch and sat down, leaning against the backrest and twirling his drink, watching the way the light reflected and threw shades through the orange liquid.

“That's just because I was thinking about your positive qualities. I had to get the whole picture after all,” the young man replied nonchalantly and remained at the counter, leaning further against it and drinking the rest of his gin.  
  
“Doubt that wearing sweatpants is one of my positive qualities,” Hoseok remarked and drank the remains of the gin in one shot, placing the empty container on the glass table.

The other man let a short smile pass over his lips before he pushed himself up with his palms and walked over to the black couch as well. He watched Hoseok intently as he loosened his tie with one hand, blue eyes intense, licking over his lips. Hyungwon's face was unreal, lips and eyes taking up most of the space. Lifting one corner of his mouth he finally sat down next to Hoseok, leaving a few centimetres between their thighs.  
  
_That’s interesting._ _  
_ _  
_ “You can take off your tie if it’s uncomfortable. I want my employees to feel at ease when they’re with me.” He smirked and leaned back, observing the expressions on the other man’s face.

“How considerate of you,” Hyungwon replied with a teasing tone and undid the knot of his tie, pulling it from his neck and placing it on the leather next to him. “Maybe I should adjust a little to your sweatpants covered self.”  
  
“Why would you feel the need to?” He spread his legs for comfort and rested his head on his palm, still staring at the other man intently.  
  
_What does he want? He looks as if he wants something, but the picture doesn’t fit._

“Well, Mr. Shin. I am currently at your place and it's basically night and I'm trying to find a middle way between treating you like a friend and like a boss. It’s not really working yet. Didn't you want to talk about the presentation?” Hyungwon elaborated, right hand gesturing to support the words and crossing his legs. The other arm was placed on the backrest, close to Hoseok's head.  
  
“Do you also call your friends by their last name? I want to go through the presentation but you confuse me a little bit. Your behaviour seems somehow very ambivalent. Maybe it comes from your insecurity about the way you can treat me. I told you, just do whatever is comfortable for you.” Hoseok brushed back the black bangs covering his forehead out of frustration.

The other man swallowed and stared at him, hand resting on his knee and lifting up before letting the long fingers slide down along it.

“I will after I have signed the contract. I like it by the way. It's more than I could have hoped for. Actually, I have already signed it to be honest,” Hyungwon replied and smiled warmly, gaze changing from the intensity it had before and switching to something softer.  
  
_He is hesitating because of the contract? Why?_ _  
_ _  
_ “It’s settled then, because I gave the signed copy to Kihyun already. Just be comfortable. It costs a lot of effort for me to continuously read your facial expressions and match them to behavioral patterns that don’t make sense in combination.” Hoseok spoke without any further monitoring, revealing the way he had invested an immense amount of resources into trying to make sense of the younger man.

“A psychologist through and through, aren't you?” the other remarked, body posture relaxing a little but remaining straight. “Why do you bother though? Shouldn't it have been sufficient to evaluate my work? Why figure out my intentions then, although I can't really say that I haven't been doing the same.”  
  
“It’s easy. You are very close to me, at least you are supposed to be, so I need to trust you. To be able to trust you, I need to know you, but you keep calling me Mr. Shin and telling me to judge your skill. I do that. It’s excellent.” He stood up and walked over to the counter Hyungwon had left the documents on and came back, sitting down while keeping a little more distance. “Since you want me to evaluate your work.”

Hyungwon smiled shortly, nodding at Hoseok’s proposal and moving closer despite the distance that was purposefully put between them.

“I'll do my best to be trustworthy then. I'm sorry if I haven't been. I told you I will call you by your first name eventually. It- it has nothing to do with trusting you or not. It's more of a mental thing maybe. The only people I have dealt with professionally continuously emphasized distance, so that's what I've been going for. You make it hard though,” the young man explained and sighed as soon as he finished, brushing his long fingers through his styled brown hair, forehead on display as always.  
  
Hoseok ignored the comment and dived right into the explanation of the product, depicting the processes and doing an amazing job considering his semi-drunken state and doing it while wearing sweatpants and sitting on the couch at home. Hyungwon had thrown in some good ideas, as always and they agreed on an approach after about half an hour of discussing different possibilities.  
  
_It seems as if he just feels better when you keep it very professional._ _  
_ _  
_ Throwing the presentation on the table he walked over to the bar and filled tonic into the glass, deciding that the five shots of gin were absolutely enough. Then he turned around to the other man while leaning against the table.  
  
“Want one too?”

“I'd love to,” Hyungwon replied and watched him, gaze switching again despite Hoseok’s carefully professional attitude, slipping downwards instead of his face.  
  
_Confusing asshole._ _  
_ _  
_ “Well get it then.” He pointed at the bottle and took a sip of the drink, gaze observing every single twitch in the other man’s facial muscles.  
  
_You’re tipsy, so you’re probably seeing stuff that’s not there._

The blue eyes got wider as Hyungwon appeared surprised at Hoseok’s change of tone, walking over to him and filling tonic into the glass, eyes remaining focused on his face.

“How come you live alone? Shouldn't women be jumping you considering your specs? Rich, smart, relatively young and attractive.”  
  
“I guess it’s my personality adding up to the fact that I’m not interested.” He licked over his lips at the uncomfortable thoughts, including the exact amount of days he hadn't had sex, which were 94.  
  
_Holy fuck. It’s almost 100, Hoseok. Children in first grade can’t count that far._

The handsome young man swallowed a bit of the liquid, Adam's apple bobbing with the motion, emphasizing the delicate neck. Propping his palms against the counter surface Hyungwon lifted himself on top of it, legs spread a little and one clothed thigh touching Hoseok’s hips. “Work is not a good lover though, leaves you dissatisfied no matter how much effort you put into your fingers.”  
  
“Any suggestions?” he said and immediately regretted it, placing the glass against his lips instead, drinking slowly. Hyungwon grinned, leaning back against his slim arms and tilting his head a little as the clothed thigh pressed even closer.

“Want a massage again? I told you I have a lot of mad skills.”  
  
_He just suggested a massage as a replacement for a lover._ _  
_ _  
_ “Are you sure we’re talking about the same things here?” Hoseok grinned and slid his gaze over the slim body, stopping at the dark-blue eyes.  
  
_He’s really attractive._

“Only one way to find out, isn't there?” Hyungwon replied and lifted a corner of his mouth, grinning right back. His eyes were focused on Hoseok’s, intensity only doubling with each passing second. “I'm sure all my effort from last time has dissipated into nothing after two weeks of work.”  
  
_You’re fucking crazy, Hoseok._ _  
_ _  
_ “Where do you want to do it?” He smirked at the young man sitting next to him.

“Wherever you like, Mr. Shin. We can fuel your non-existent teacher-student kink.” The slim body slipped down from the counter, painfully slowly but smoothly, blue eyes focused on him throughout the action, lips spread in a smile.  
  
“Teacher-student my ass,” Hoseok murmured and walked over to his bedroom, not looking back. Arriving at the spacious room he turned around, waiting for the other man to follow and got rid of his shirt as soon as he spotted him.

Hyungwon bit his lip and the large blue eyes immediately travelled over Hoseok’s naked chest before they returned to his face.

“Lie down,” he said quietly and swallowed visibly, sucking the lower lip in his mouth.  
  
_He looks affected. Interesting._ _  
_ _  
_ “Sure.” Hoseok crawled on top of the bed and lay down on his stomach, arms resting over his head and smiling brightly.

Hyungwon opened the buttons at his sleeves and pulled them up, freeing his underarms and opening the first few buttons of his shirt. Taking a deep breath the younger climbed on top of the bed and crawled over to Hoseok, hands moving over his ass and upwards to his shoulders as the lean man sat down on top of him. The slim thighs were close to his body, flush against his hips as the fingers caressed over the skin of his neck and shoulders, rubbing over it to warm it up, not applying pressure yet.  
  
It felt really nice, the light weight over his hips that pressed him into the mattress and the long fingers sliding over the skin. He might have really needed a massage.

 _And sex._  
  
“This time I’m really looking forward to the mad skills you’ve promised me.” Hoseok smirked and started playing with a strand of his hair.

He heard a chuckle as pressure was applied to his neck, fingers moving up gradually and pressing down on the tense muscles, loosening him up with the way they rubbed in circular motions. The other man mixed light caresses with strength, relaxing the muscles until he was able to massage the knots out of it.  Once he worked himself through the ones in Hoseok’s neck Hyungwon shifted his body slightly, moving a little further back on his ass, creating space to slide his hands over his spine, pressing into the muscles along it.  
  
“Mhm, that feels nice.” Hoseok moaned quietly at the way the fingers dug into his back, feeling the warmth of the other man’s body through the sweatpants.

“Want me to stay with your spine, or focus on something else?” the younger man's low voice asked, hands remaining in motion and easily working the tension out of his body.  
  
_This whole situation makes no sense, does it?_  
  
“Well, what do you want to focus on?” Hoseok asked and lifted his arm a little so Hyungwon could see the way he smiled.

“Your whole body is tensed, so I could slowly make my way down,” the young man replied with an equal smile, fingers keeping up the pressure along his spine. “Do you have massage oil? Might be better for your neck. You have really sensitive skin and I don't want to irritate it.”  
  
Hoseok grinned and turned around, lying on his back again while holding Hyungwon in place this time as he reached for the drawer on the left, hand resting on the other man’s thigh. His tactile perceptions told him that the random object must’ve been the right one and he pulled out the lube.  
  
_That’s not it. Fuck._ _  
_ _  
_ Closing his eyes and placing it back, he grabbed the other similar object, lifting it up and opening one eye.  
  
_Thank god._ _  
_ _  
_ “That should be the right one.” Hoseok held it in front of the man on his lap. Hyungwon was staring at him with wide blue eyes and accepted the bottle without a word, clicking it open with his thumb and pouring the transparent liquid into his palm. The smell of pine filled the air as the brunette rubbed the massage oil between his palms to warm it up.

“Turn around, or do you want me to massage your chest instead?” he asked and lifted an eyebrow.  
  
_This is something you will never be able to explain professionally. Congratulations._ _  
_ _  
_ “It’s not as tense as I am. I mean- as my back is.” He turned around almost immediately, wanting to slap himself at the inability to formulate a proper sentence.  
  
_Which is exactly the reason for staying professional._

“Need help with that too?” Hyungwon asked, voice teasing as the long fingers returned to Hoseok’s back, sinking into the cramped muscles of his shoulders and loosening them up with ease, perceptions amazing. The other man was genuinely good at this.  
  
“I doubt that you can help me with that. You’re making it worse,” he murmured and placed his arms further over his head.

_Don't drink so much, Hoseok._

Hyungwon didn't reply, leaning closer and hands sliding over the skin smoothly, pine scent filling his nose and clouding his senses a little. The long fingers were really good at finding sensitive spots, pressing into them and evoking soft moans from his lips. Hot breath was hitting his neck, indicating that the younger man was close, fingers slipping further along his spine, thumbs rubbing the muscles while the other digits caressed his sides.  
  
_Pure_ _purpose. He’s doing it on purpose._ _  
__  
_ He waited for a moment when the long fingers dug into a muscle again and let out a low moan, purely sexual, just to see how the other would react. The fingers froze for a second as the thin thighs tightened around his hips, hot breath hitting his neck. Then Hyungwon resumed what he was doing as if nothing had happened, caressing the skin and brushing sensitive areas although they weren't tense, spreading a tingling feeling.  
  
_He thinks you’re hot. Most definitely._

 _Holy fuck._ _  
_ _  
_ He moaned again, simply because the way the other man reacted had been so excitingly obvious. The thighs tightened again but Hyungwon didn't stop the movements of his hands, exhaling softly and shifting his hips. The intention of the massage changed gradually, muscles mostly loosened up and fingers focusing on his sensitive skin, brushing along his sides, barely touching. It was clearly erotic.  
  
“Are you trying to live up to my comment of you making it worse?” Hoseok asked and leaned over his arm, turning more to the side and looking up.

“I could also make it better,” the young man whispered, sound loud in the quiet room and teeth biting down on his lower lip, adding red colour similar to the light blush that covered his cheeks.  
  
_Wow._ _  
_ _  
_ “Oh, could you?” Hoseok smirked up at him and turned around slowly, taking the almost weightless body along until the slim hips were placed over his lap again.

The blue eyes were much darker than before, pupils taking up most of the space. It was a little similar to the way the young man had looked at him while they had soaked in the tub. Well-formed hips shifted on top of his crotch, difficult to tell whether it was purposeful or not as Hyungwon let his hands glide over Hoseok’s shoulders, sinking lower, brushing over his pecs, index finger circling a nipple before caressing along the clear lines of his abs.

“Yes.”  
  
Hoseok let out a rough exhale and grabbed behind him, stuffing a pillow under his head. He looked Hyungwon directly into the dark-blue eyes, lifting his hand in front of his face, isolating the index finger and curling it slowly, indicating to come closer. The lip bite returned immediately as the beautiful man crawled towards him, putting the palms flat next to Hoseok’s head against the headboard while he remained seated on his lap, blue eyes staring focused on his dark ones. He was so attractive that it took a couple of seconds to get used to the sight, cheeks blushed and plump lips slightly parted.  
  
Hoseok licked over his own lips and repeated the motion with his index finger.

“You’re demanding,” the low voice whispered as Hyungwon leaned down, breathing hot air over his lips. “I thought I'm the one who helps you with tension.” He was impossibly close, bending his elbows to increase proximity as his lower body pressed against Hoseok’s.  
  
“You misunderstood. You’re making it worse,” he breathed against the plump lips and licked over his own, tongue slightly touching the other man’s parted mouth.

“Then let me make it better.” Hyungwon rested most of his weight on his left arm as he let his left hand stroke over Hoseok’s biceps, travelling up to his shoulder and neck until it slid into his hair. The younger man was breathing quicker than before and licked over Hoseok’s lips, tongue hot and teasing.  
  
Hoseok was staring into the widened eyes, trying to make sense of something that didn’t.  
  
_Your assistant is lying on top of you and you are getting hard._ _  
_ _  
_ _Not everything he does is related to his job though. He's free to fo whatever he likes._ _  
_ _  
_ He pulled himself higher, shifting his hips in the process, friction making everything even worse. His hands rested on the other man’s thighs, lean muscles firm against his fingers.

Hyungwon breathed out harshly and attached his lips to Hoseok’s neck, nibbling on the skin as he slid lower, brushing his own crotch over the muscular thigh, the way he was affected by the situation obvious. The warm tongue licked its way along his jugular to the chest before brushing a nipple, taking the bud into his mouth and sucking on it.  
  
Hoseok exhaled roughly once again, feeling the way his body reacted stronger with each second, skin tingling and wanting more. He lifted a hand and slid the fingers into the brown hair, pulling the other man’s head up and catching the bottom lip with his teeth. He was graced with a beautiful low moan as Hyungwon parted his lips and pushed the hips further against his thigh, both arms curling around his neck in the process.  
  
He felt the sense of awareness and deliberation slip between his fingers as the thin body pushed against his, low moans gracing his ears and making him unable to consider or reflect on anything.  
  
_Why would you want to reflect if it’s so fucking obvious?_

 _  
_ _***_

If there was a goal in life that Hyungwon desired to fulfil, then it was ending up like Shin Hoseok. Living in a prestigious and expensive area, in a beautiful renaissance house which was perfectly renovated and having over 120 square meters for himself while working a job that he was good at and looking fucking hot.

_That man is goals._

Paintings covered the walls and Hyungwon recognized most of his favourite novels in the bookshelves, taste in literature surprisingly similar despite their age difference. The gin that he had been offered was probably more expensive than his tuition had been and the tastiest drop of alcohol he had ever tried. It didn't even compare to the wine that Hyungwon's grandparents had buried in their garden when he was born and dug out on his twentieth birthday.

Maybe it was also the gin’s fault that he had difficulties to focus on work and casual conversation instead of the way the other man's muscles filled out the black shirt, skin like marble from the contrast.

There were a lot of things that Hyungwon was good at and remaining professional and composed had actually been one of his strengths. However, the way the outline of Mr. Shin’s dick was visible through the thin sweatpants was out to issue a one way ticket to hell for him.

He had magically been able to focus on the presentation, immersing in work and the desire to impress. Whatever his boss was into, display of intelligence must have been one of those things and Hyungwon was rather desperate.

The combination of night, gin and shameless smirks must have been the reason for showering the older man with innuendos, going as far as to suggest a massage.

_The way you propose it, it better have a happy end, Hyungwon._

It was risky. Getting close to one’s boss wasn't welcome and could easily get him fired, but inviting your co-worker to your place and offering him gin while basically having one’s dick out wasn't common either.

_Just go for it. Worst case you'll have massaged him and gotten thrown out. The contract is signed and you'll just pretend it never happened._

_Just like last time._

The older man was beyond attractive, easily pulling the shirt over his head and revealing the ripped body, a constant presence in Hyungwon's jerk off fantasies since he had seen it in London. He wanted to run his fingers over it but the muscular back would have to do. The intense gaze and playful smirks weren't making the process easier, sending a pleasant warmth through his body, arousal right a his fingertips with the way his hands caressed the marble-like skin before him.

_You're sitting on top of your superior’s ass and massaging his back, Hyungwon._

But damn, it was hot and Hyungwon hoped his body wouldn't betray him before it had got remotely understandable that he would get hard. Boners because of sitting on someone's ass weren’t really a thing, were they?

He watched the way his fingers rubbed over the thick neck, impossibly pleasant to the touch, but blushing quickly from the ministrations. Mr. Shin had really sensitive skin.

_Use oil or something, that'll reduce the friction._

Hyungwon only wished that the friction that disappeared between the pale skin and his darker fingers would return in the form of friction against other parts of his body. He really wanted to touch the older man, see how his face changed and whether he would be just as composed and nonchalant, appearing unaffected despite the heavy tension between them.

_Maybe it's just you? But why would he put you on his lap then, grinning shamelessly and resting the hand on your thigh?_

Mr. Shin fumbled in a drawer, attempting to look for massage oil and Hyungwon decided not to think about why the older man would have it in his bedside drawer. Most people didn't even own any.

The muscular arm pulled a very familiar bottle out, the same one that Hyungwon had in his own bedside drawer and the bathroom, intended for a very different type of massaging.

_He owns lube?_

His eyes widened, but he didn't remark on it, heart beating furiously as his brain screamed at him to take the opportunity now that he had it. Massaging the soft skin with the help of oil only added to the wish, fingers sliding over each muscle and transitioning into tender motions, more meant to let Hyungwon feel more instead of loosening up muscle.

When the older man moaned, low voice echoing in the room and sending a spark from his chest right to Hyungwon’s crotch he knew that he was doomed. His body reacted faster than he had anticipated, thighs tightening and fingers caressing along the other man's sides. Shin Hoseok was beyond beautiful and Hyungwon wanted to touch more.

_You want him. A lot. Although he's your boss._

Hyungwon was a simple person. If he desired something and had enough hints that the feeling was mutual it was rather difficult to deny himself the pleasure. So of course he jumped the other man as soon as he saw the possibility, body burning up at the way the dark eyes focused on him, attraction obvious from the way Mr. Shin held his body and beckoned him over with his index finger. It was hot and burned up his cheeks, lips parting and desiring to feel the skin with more than his hands.

Attaching his lips to the muscular neck, tasting the tender skin and breathing in the heavy scent of a mixture of coffee and cake, Hyungwon sank lower, tongue gliding along the jugular and the fine line between the pec muscles. The scent fit the other man so perfectly that Hyungwon wanted to drink and eat him up simultaneously. As he closed his plump lips around a nipple he couldn't suppress the quiet moan that left him, tension coiling in his groin from the fulfilling mental images.

A warm hand curled up in his hair, pulling him away from the caressed bud and closing the space between them, hot mouth touching his and sharp teeth biting down on his bottom lip.

_Shit, Hyungwon. If that's not interest, then what the fuck is?_

He moaned into the older man's mouth and curled his arms around the firm neck, pressing his body flush against the naked chest, hips meeting his superior’s with a spark of friction and arousal. His lower body was pulsating with the desire to press even closer, leaving absolutely no space between them. Mr. Shin was huge and basically the incarnation of every office porn movie that Hyungwon had ever watched. Fuck.

_Fuck getting fired, Hyungwon. This is totally worth it._

The other sat up, grabbing his hips roughly and pulling him further on top of the sweat-pant-clad lap, biting into the skin of his neck. It was fucking hot and Hyungwon loved the way the black-haired man didn't hesitate to use strength. He moaned at the way the prominent erection felt under his ass and rolled his hips forward, chewing on his lip and hissing at the short stab of pain in his neck, immediately followed by pleasure. He buried his long fingers in the soft black strands and thought about how to convince his boss that getting a blowjob from him was a very good idea without saying it it out loud.

The other moaned against his skin, using the strength to push his lower body down against the lap, thrusting up a little and letting him feel everything he was missing in life at that moment.

 _Now you just need to find out if he likes you because of your rather feminine appearance or if he actually likes dick.  
_  
“You promised to make it better but here you are driving me nuts instead.” The older man put distance between them and stared up, gaze intimidating and intense.

_Only one way to find out, Hyungwon. Only one way._

He smirked at his own thoughts and placed his hands on Mr. Shin’s shoulders, pushing himself down while pressing his ass against the other man's dick on purpose, lips attaching to the skin of his chest and moving lower. He sucked along the abs and left faint marks, tongue dipping into the navel and following the happy trail. Hyungwon loved the way Shin Hoseok’s skin tasted, sending a pleasant throbbing to his dick.

“Wait for it,” he breathed against the clothed erection and sat down on the other’s knees. He was wearing way too much fabric for Hyungwon’s taste so he slid his fingertips along the waistband and closed his lips around the outline of the most likely gorgeous dick. Mouthing along the shaft he eased his fingers under the waistband, pulling it lower and placing kisses on each inch of uncovered skin. It was just as milky as the rest of the other man's body and immensely beautiful.

As soon Hyungwon had pushed the sweatpants and underwear to the middle of the thighs he looked up, eyes widening shortly and gasp leaving his lips. Well-endowed would have been an understatement considering that his boss had the most gorgeous and thick dick Hyungwon had ever seen. Tip beautifully wet with precum and veins travelling along the shaft, foreskin a little darker than the rest but still white compared to how his own hand looked next to it, resting on the hipbone.

Licking over his lips at the sight he glanced up, examining the other man's reaction as he let his thumb and index finger move upwards along the whole length, rubbing over the sensitive head.

“Want to look at it some more?” The other man smirked but the blush and the way the big eyes were almost black gave out that he must've been equally affected by the situation.

_Beautiful._

“I could also look at it if that's what you're into. Illusions of grandeur and all,” Hyungwon replied and let his tongue lick over the head, digging into the slit before the tongue disappeared in his mouth again, smirk in place.

“You're cute,” the other commented, intertwining a hand into his hair and grabbing it tightly. Hyungwon moaned at the sensation and bit his lip again, anger spiking in his blood at the comment.

_Dominant little shit._

He breathed in and parted his lips, covering the head while he kept his gaze focused on the older man. He knew that he looked good with a dick in his mouth and the asshole better appreciate instead of calling him cute. Hyungwon rubbed his tongue over it and snuck his right hand between the slightly spread legs, cupping the balls. He wanted to hear moans instead of teasing comments.

The hand tightened in his hair and the other man let out a beautiful low moan, closing the eyes and exhaling roughly.

“Fuck.“

_Now we're talking, Mister._

Hyungwon added effort, sucking on the sensitive transition between the head and the shaft and sliding his left hand over the rest of the length, encouraged by the pulls at his hair and the sounds that filled his ears. He added a little turn to the way his head moved down the gorgeous erection, tongue flat. His right hand massaged the skin between his superior’s balls.

_Holy shit, Hyungwon. You're blowing your boss._

He felt a painful sensation as the other man pulled his head off his erection, breathing heavily and intense gaze in place.

_It was beautiful as long as it lasted._

“Take your clothes off. I want to see you naked,” Shin Hoseok groaned before licking his lips repeatedly.

_Or not. Holy fucking shit._

Hyungwon looked up, feeling how blood rushed through his lips from the way he had sucked on the other man’s erection as hands raked through his caramel brown strands instead of pulling painfully. He felt the light throbbing that pressure left behind in his temples, adrenaline circulating through his system. He was rather confident in his looks but if he undressed and his boss decided to call him cute again he was probably going to commit murder. Unintentionally.

He chewed on his lip, blood rushing through it and his cheeks simultaneously, colouring his face in a soft rose colour as it always did when he was aroused. He slid further back to release his hair from the older man's fingers and sat up on this knees. Keeping eye contact he opened the remaining buttons of his white shirt, letting it hang loosely on his shoulders and revealing his slim form. His skin was so much darker in comparison, contrast only enhanced by the white fabric just like the black fabric had emphasized the marble skin of his superior.

Hyungwon was curious how much colour the skin could take, a little bit of blush tinting the pale face.

Taking another deep breath he brushed the shirt off his shoulders, throwing it next to the bed and continuing with his belt, pants sitting tight on his hips.

Mr. Shin was watching intently, gaze narrowed and hungrily jumping from his chest to the position of his fingers, fumbling with the belt. The muscular man sat up more, leaning against the headboard and licking the red lips with a little smirk.

_He likes it._

Hyungwon kept up the eye contact and opened his belt, pulling it out of the loops with a smooth noise, slowly but not enough to seem like he was stalling. He wasn't, but he wanted his boss to enjoy the show if he was already being gifted with such attention. It was like a dream come true after the two weeks of pointless fantasizing. Throwing the belt to the side he undid the button of his dark blue suit pants, licking over his lips to accompany the sound of the zipper opening. He gasped at the way the sudden freedom caught him off guard, the disappearance of friction pleasant but also suffocating him with the need for touch.

“Don't make me wait.” The low voice sounded dangerous although there was no reason to expect anything dangerous in the first place.

Hyungwon had always been someone to reflect on orders, wondering if they had a point and really deserved following, but he had never pulled his pants down his long legs that quickly, taking them off with the socks and throwing them to the side, remaining in his underwear.

The gaze of the older man, focusing on the way his erection strained the black fabric, was sufficient to know that he was supposed to be completely naked. Hissing at the way it felt to free his erection he dug his thumbs under the waistband and pulled them down, revealing the rest of his completely hairless skin including the delicate tattoo of a Psi that graced the area under his right hip bone. A reminder for himself when he had begun his university studies.

A gasp left the other man's mouth before a bright grin spread along the handsome features.

“We're meant to be, aren't we? Shit. You're hot, makes me want to spoil you.”

_Fuck yes._

Hyungwon smirked and let a hand run through his hair, brushing away stray strands that had begun to follow the rules of gravity instead of revealing his forehead.

“Touch me then,” he whispered and crawled closer, one thigh sliding between the older man's legs as the other was placed next to his superior’s muscular thigh, hands resting on the broad shoulders.

Sharp teeth caught his lips again, nibbling on them and warm tongue licking inside his mouth. Fingers slid along his spine, before pressing him closer to the other man's body.

“Come sit on my lap.” He was blessed with another low moan.

If Hyungwon could choose what he was going to look like once he reached the age of thirty five, Shin Hoseok was going to be the answer, thick thighs feeling amazing under his ass, not comparable to how the defined muscles had felt through a barrier. He curled his arms around the neck and curved his spine, pulling himself flush against the naked chest. It was overwhelming, skin touching and sending further waves of tingling pleasure to his groin, hard erection pressing against Mr. Shin’s lower stomach.

_Why are you so affected, Hyungwon? Because you shouldn't be doing it?_

The older man's erection was right between his ass cheeks and Hyungwon really wished that there hadn’t been a rather loud voice in his head keeping him from finding out how the other man would have felt inside of him. His blue eyes focused on the dark brown ones in front of him and he bit his lip, establishing proper eye contact before rolling his hips.

The strong arms pressed him closer before the other man moved his hips smoothly, sending pleasure through his whole body and moaning beautifully.

“You feel so good. It makes it really hard to resist.”

“I'm pretty sure that I feel even better from the inside,” Hyungwon whispered against the warm lips and regretted it almost immediately, conscience getting louder in the background. “But that's probably a bad idea.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, don't make me snap,” the other groaned and tightened the grip on his hips, thrusting up once again. Hyungwon closed the distance between them and moaned into the older man's mouth, shiver passing through his limbs at the sensation. It really felt amazing, hands the perfect size to grab his hips just like the erection fit snugly between his cheeks.

“You’re the one who pulled me off his dick,” he murmured before a smirk appeared on his features. “Mr. Shin.”

It went pretty fast as he was basically thrown on the mattress, the muscular man hovering over him and breathing against his lips harshly, pulling at them with his teeth, gaze intense, almost like a hungry animal.

_Shit, it’s hot._

Hyungwon gasped at the way the air was pushed out of his lungs, hands falling above his head and eyes closing at the way the other man abused his mouth. His boss kicked his clothes to the side, remaining absolutely naked over him. He was fucking stunning.

“And now you did it again,” he whispered, trying to get more friction by lifting his hips, hands remaining above his head.

“How bad of an idea is it to fuck you up and make you beg if we will see each other in the office tomorrow?” The gaze slid over his features, warm erection pressing against his lower body slowly, as if on purpose.

_The best idea ever. Award worthy._

“A very bad idea. Also, I won't beg,” Hyungwon replied, narrowing his eyes but lips parting in a moan at the way the gorgeous dick felt against his groin. Holy fuck.

“The way you basically ate me with your eyes before and also in London would speak against it. I'm intrigued to rip your hypothesis apart.”

_Why is he so attentive? You tried to be subtle._

“You'd need a properly controlled-” Hyungwon paused to gasp, biting down on his lip with more vigour to stop himself. “- properly controlled study for that. In addition it's not my fault that you are rather attractive for your age.”

The way the hard erection pressed against his inner thigh was torture, so Hyungwon shifted a little, hoping to rile the other man up similarly without actually touching him with hands or mouth.

“If that's not cute then I don't know.” Shin Hoseok crawled down, sucking on his nipple harshly, tongue leaving burning trails along his body, sliding over his stomach and sharp teeth sinking into the skin every now and then.

“I hope you choke on your gigantic dick,” Hyungwon hissed, angry at the constant depreciation and narrowing his eyes further, suppressing his reactions. It was frustrating, as if he was helpless against the other man.

_But he still he finds you attractive._

“Now be a good boy and stop talking. I want to hear your pretty moans,” the low, demanding voice ordered and the curved mouth spread in a grin from right between his legs, gaze so incredibly intense and pink tongue sliding along his painfully hard erection.

_Shit, he's going to rile you up._

It was unfair. Hyungwon had basically suffered two weeks from constant imaginations of being bent over a desk and having his boss rile him up from between his legs wasn't helping. If this was supposed to be a challenge he was going to lose, miserably.

“Well, go ahead,” he murmured, voice sounding more confident than he felt, wish to bury himself in the older man's mouth stronger than his resolutions to stay fierce.

 _Don't be too easy, Hyungwon.  
_  
The other grabbed his hips with both hands, sinking all way down, lips tight around him and tongue moving along the shaft, hands pressing him further into the warm mouth. The loud hum sent intense shivers through his whole body before the lips slid all the way up, tongue twirling around the tip only.

Hyungwon moaned loudly, lips parting and chest lifting off the bed before falling back to the sheets, head thrown back. His hands searched for something to hold onto, finding the black strands of hair and thighs narrowing around the older man's head. Shit, he was good at this and didn't consider teasing a good idea apparently.

“Holy fucking shit,” he murmured and threw his head to the other side, pulling at the hair from the way pleasure soared through his body and numbed his thoughts on not appearing affected.

After repeating the whole thing a couple of times the other man lifted himself up from between his legs. Unfortunately it was just at the moment Hyungwon had felt the release ringing at the back of his head.

“Shit,” he cursed and released one of his hands from the black hair, covering his eyes and breathing heavily. Usually when he hooked up the point was to get off, but getting it on with his boss felt like a full out war. “That was a dick move. I'll fuel your non-existent kinks if you're nasty to me.”

Hyungwon took another deep breath and removed his hand from his face, changing his facial expression to appear more vulnerable and making his eyes big, lips parting.

“Oh my god, give it to me, Mr. Shin. I never felt like this before,” he moaned on purpose, pulling the older man closer with his leg that he curled around him.

“I bet you wouldn't be that talkative if you were sitting on my dick right now,” Mr. Shin commented, hovering over him. Hyungwon couldn't help the way his own expression switched, affected by the words. He whined shortly and pulled the man closer with his leg again, loving how the pale skin felt against his. He just wanted to get off and not regret anything for fuck’s sake.

“Weren't you the one who wanted to make it better? I don't think you're very reliable.” The older man sucked on his neck, low whispers hitting his ears while the pale, muscular body didn't give in at all, although he wanted to feel more.

“Then how about you fuck my mouth instead of torturing me?” Hyungwon hissed, giving up and throwing himself further onto the sheets, arms above his head and huffing in frustration.

_He can wrap you around his finger like a birthday decoration string, curling around it all on its own._

“You have no patience. You don't know what torturing is like.” A smirk appeared on the handsome face before the other man crawled over his body and sat down on the edge of the bed, pointing on the floor between his legs.

Hyungwon swallowed and pushed himself up with his palms, breaths irregular and anticipation letting the arousal spike up further. Shin Hoseok was really attractive and there weren't many things that Hyungwon wanted to do more at that moment than deepthroat him and hear the moans.

_You promised to release his tension, so show him your mad skills._

He crawled over to the edge, licking his lips and moving sensually on purpose, sliding his hips down and kneeling between the muscular legs. He caressed along the firm calves with his hands, fingertips brushing over the skin softly until he reached the thighs and looked up. He licked over his lips before opening his mouth and focusing his blue eyes on the dark gaze above him. The pure want was obvious, both from the blown pupils and the rock hard erection but the other man's self control and dominance were extraordinary.

_He could take you and fuck you against his work desk in the middle of a meeting and you'd probably say thank you, Hyungwon._

The other man lifted his right hand and sank the fingers into his hair, massaging his scalp and pulling at the strands, accompanied by sharp exhales.

“You make me want to wreck you,” he whispered while licking his lips. The black hair framed the pale face, a little bit of blush colouring the cheeks and lips blood red from pleasuring Hyungwon a few minutes ago.

He swallowed, calming his breath and relaxing his throat. The older man was well endowed but he was confident about taking most of it, heart hammering in his chest from actually feeling the erection hit his throat.

“Do it.”

The grip in his hair tightened as his boss pulled him closer to the crotch, taking his erection and sliding the tip along his bottom lip slowly, licking his own lips in the process.

It was hot. Hyungwon opened his mouth further and used his tongue to lick over the slit, watching the other man's expression carefully, unwilling to miss the slightest twitch of a muscle. He wanted to see what he was doing to the older man. The pressure in his groin only increased with each passing second, fingers tingling to pleasure himself while he let his boss fuck his mouth.

“I promise I'll make you moan properly after this.” Shin Hoseok smirked, confidence dripping out of every pore, before he pushed himself into Hyungwon's mouth, gasping at the sensation and hand tightening in the hair once again. Relaxing his throat Hyungwon buried his fingers in the milky thighs, moaning at the way the intrusion felt, sound leaving the other man's lips beautifully fitting to his own expressions of pleasure.

_Wait until he fucks you up then instead of getting yourself off._

“Fuck, I love how you look like kneeling between my legs.” The other man moaned while pulling his head further, thick, veiny erection not quite disappearing inside his mouth while still hitting the back of his throat. Hyungwon moaned again, hands massaging the thighs and scratching over them in alteration. He loved seeing what effect he had on the other man, attempting to speed up the movements by bobbing his head a little faster, flattening his tongue and focusing on sucking in the process, letting as much pleasure as possible flood the hot man's system.

The moans got louder and more frequent, while the control with which Shin Hoseok had pushed himself inside his mouth seemed to disappear gradually, making room for more rough movements. The other man's muscles tensed under his fingertips before the gorgeous man released himself inside his mouth, groaning in the incredibly low voice and hand tightening in his hair.

Shin Hoseok was beautiful when he came, muscles tensing throughout and adding strength into his actions. Hot was too soft an adjective to describe how it made Hyungwon feel.

He swallowed while sucking lightly to bridge the transition from immense pleasure to oversensitivity, moaning a little at how much he loved being controlled. His own heartbeat was loud in his ears, drowning his perceptions and raising awareness of the painful erection between his legs. Fuck he wanted to come. Moaning again he sucked his way up and let go, plump lips rough from the motion and tongue adding more saliva by licking over them.

A couple of heavy breaths were absolutely enough for the other man to look perfectly sane and controlled, pulling him up and placing his thighs over the naked lap. A warm tongue slid over his abused lips and Shin Hoseok kissed the skin of his face and neck before leaning back a little, gaze as intense as always.

“So what would you like me to do to you, pretty boy,” the gorgeous man asked, hot fingers running over his spine.

_Holy fuck. Just let him do everything, Hyungwon._

Shin Hoseok had something that none of his previous sexual partners could offer. Most of the men Hyungwon had in his bed were students, close to his age and similarly interested in getting that edge off, actions impatient and copied from cheap porn they had seen and considered attractive. The dominance that his boss showed wasn't played, not at all, confidence natural and perfectly justified. The older man knew what he wanted and how to get it, not easily impressed and not completely preoccupied with the immature idea of having something that no one else did. It was attractive in more ways than one, purely physical interest fuelled by the intense gaze and natural dominance.

“That depends on what you can offer,” Hyungwon whispered, corners of his mouth lifting up in a grin, words losing some of their effect due to the roughness of his voice.

“I can offer you everything you want. What do you like?” The question seemed perfectly justified, the warm mouth not stopping with it's ministrations. “I could take you into my mouth, you could sit on my face, or anything else that gets you going. Just tell me.”

Hyungwon moaned at the words, brain going places but dick complaining about lack of attention. He didn't want to go anywhere and prepare himself to be blessed with the other man's tongue inside of him so he sighed and pushed his erection into the other man's stomach, moaning at the little bit of friction and curling his arms around the firm neck.

“I don't want to go anywhere. Suck me off, less messy.”

“Whatever you want. I really want to spoil you for being so good to me,” the low voice teased while breathing hot air over his ear lobe. He was lifted up and placed on the big black desk standing in the corner, the hungry mouth abusing his skin mercilessly.

_Welcome bite marks._

The muscular man sank down between his knees and licked over his erection, massaging his balls and pushing himself down until he felt the back of the other man's throat. The loud humming added up to the pleasure. Fuck. Hyungwon threw his head back, hands digging into the black wood and begging whoever was responsible that he wouldn't leave marks, because the desk appeared more expensive than a car.

“Fuck, yes,” he moaned, pleasure clouding his mind with its intensity and hips attempting to push into the warm mouth. It felt otherworldly, sensation spreading out to his thighs and covering his skin with goosebumps. “Fuck, I love the way your mouth feels. You can apply more pressure I'm into that,” he hissed out and basked in the way the older man showed no hesitation at all, each motion clear and planned.

_He must be spilling over with experience, Hyungwon. He can fuck you sideways into Sunday._

Strong hands grabbed his hips and pressed him further inside Shin Hoseok’s mouth. The skilled tongue had absolutely no mercy on him, digging into the slit when possible and pushing against the transition of head and shaft, sending fireworks of pleasure through his whole body.

Hyungwon leaned back, unable to keep himself up, until his head hit the wall, lifting his right leg and putting it on top of Hoseok’s shoulder. He moaned and closed his eyes, each motion of the tight lips overwhelming him and forcing a jerk of his hips, head hitting the wall each time.

“Shit, shit, oh my god,” he mumbled and bit his lower lip, pressure in his groin almost unbearable.

“Now be a good boy and come for me,” the low voice ordered while giving him exactly three seconds to breathe before sliding all the way down again, lips tight and tongue flattening against his dick. Hyungwon screamed, sound echoing through the room as he released himself into the tight mouth and rested his body on the desk, completely spent and partially splayed out over the older man's shoulder.

_Holy fucking shit. You just had a blowjob fest with your boss, Hyungwon. You'll see him tomorrow at work._

The pleasure released him, retreating until only clarity and exhaustion were left, heavy breaths leaving his lips and staring at Shin Hoseok, who was leaning over him.

“I’m intrigued, you look even better when you orgasm.” The man licked over the curled lips and stood up, letting Hyungwon's long leg slip off the muscular shoulder. Looking around he found the sweatpants and pulled them over the naked hips.

Hyungwon felt awkward, not sure what to do with himself in the situation. Usually he would have chuckled, done something sexy and left, never seeing the person again. However it was kinda hard when you made out with your boss and had to see him the next day, working calmly as if nothing had happened. His superior already looked more or less decent with sweatpants covering his hips while he himself was basically lying naked on a work desk.

“Doesn't everyone look even better when they orgasm,” he murmured and forced his body to get up, slipping down from the table and lifting up his underwear from the ground, pulling it over his hips in addition to the suit pants and forcing himself to stay kind of professional and distant. He really didn't know what people did in situations like that.

_Maybe you should have thought about that before coming onto your boss and offering massages, genius._

“No, not everyone,” the other remarked and pulled the shirt over the naked body, stretching out a hand with Hyungwon's white suit shirt. “That's not quite how I imagined our meeting to turn out but fair enough.” A smile graced the handsome features while Shin Hoseok seemed to be absolutely calm around him.

_What the actual fuck? Does he think sucking off his assistant is a perfectly acceptable practise?_

Hyungwon didn't reply and merely pulled the shirt over his shoulders, buttoning it up and finishing everything with his belt. His tie was still in the living room so he couldn't have put that on without randomly leaving the bedroom.

_What time is it anyway?_

He lifted his wrist and glanced at the numbers on his watch, indicating that it was past midnight and he was still at his superior’s apartment. The same person that wanted him to be in the office at 7:30 tomorrow.

“Is there anything else you need me to do before retiring until in 7 hours and 20 minutes?” Hyungwon asked and closed the buttons at his wrists.

“Not really, everything was perfect, as always. Ah, but don't forget to bring the contract and take a cab. You can use the company card. I asked you to bring my stuff so it's fine.” The other man smiled at him and walked out of the bedroom.

Hyungwon released a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding, regrets rushing in one by one. How was he supposed to act around the other man now? They were around each other most of the time, especially on trips and avoidance as he did with some of his clingy one night stands wasn't an option.

_Just do what you did before. Be professional. First you thirsted after him professionally and now you have blown him professionally._

Collecting himself for another minute or two he left the room, walking to the living room to pick up his tie and fix it around his neck.

“Ehm, I'll get going then,” he called and slipped into his shoes, feeling beyond uncomfortable. _  
_

“Wait. I called the cab, they'll ring the bell. You can go down then.” The other man sat in the living room and was concentrating on the presentation documents, looking composed, professional and not awkward at all. “Oh and you can come later tomorrow if you want. I don't know how much sleep you need, make sure to get enough rest, it's late.”

Hyungwon swallowed down whatever kept him from dealing with the situation and sat down next to Mr. Shin, forcing himself to turn his work self back on.

“I'll be fine, Mr. Shin. I'll be there 7:30 as usual. I have a meeting with Mr. Yoo at 8:00, but should be fully available for your requests starting 8:30,” he elaborated and played with the fabric of his pants, unable to keep completely calm. He wanted to disappear and forget at home, establish his professional self until tomorrow morning.

“You still want to call me Mr. Shin after coming inside my mouth? Well, as you wish.” The other man wore a neutral expression on his face, disturbed by the bell. “It's the cab. See you tomorrow.”

“It helps me separate,” Hyungwon murmured and stood up, throwing a last glance at the older man, still composed and perfectly focused on the presentation. Biting down on his lip he threw on his shoes and ran down the stairs, not looking back and throwing himself on the backseat of the cab, naming his address quickly.

Entering his shared apartment his thoughts had already reached the point of severe regret, head remaining with the intensity of what he had felt and how exciting being with an older man had been like, closely followed by the realization that his boss was not the best person to explore such a fascination with.

Hyungwon hung up his coat and took off his shoes, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt, mechanically switching to his pyjamas as his thoughts circled around his previous experiences. He had never had any interest in older men before, remaining with classmates or fellow students. Shin Hoseok was a whole new caliber, intelligent and attractive in addition to being dominant in his behaviour. As a person the attraction was understandable but as an employee it was out of place.

_What if this influences your work relationship? Pushing you into something you didn't want, Hyungwon? You're supposed to work there for another two years at least. What are you doing?_

He didn't know. A sudden knock pulled him out of his thoughts, Namjoon standing in the door frame to his room and looking like Hyungwon had woken him up.

“Where the fuck were you? I thought you died,” the blonde man commented and adjusted his old sweatpants, t-shirt oversized and looking comfortable.

“Had to bring my boss something after work, stayed for a while,” Hyungwon replied, feeling a little uncomfortable. It was clear that something wasn't optimal behaviour when one felt reluctant to share it, preferring a simpler version or a lie.

“Just make sure that Mr. Shin guy doesn't overwork you,” Namjoon murmured and walked back to his room, hitting against something judging by the noise until it was completely silent again.

_That's the least of your worries right now._

Hyungwon sighed, running long fingers through his hair nervously and hoping that everything would settle itself.

_Just be like him, keep the distance and pretend nothing happened._

_How hard can it be?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tension is no fucking joke, look forward to how the congress will turn out. 
> 
> Next Update on the 27th of April at 2 PM CET.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Say my name."

 

Hoseok sat on the black leather after looking through the presentation for the fifth time.

_Conclusion of the day: your assistant not only thinks that you're hot, but also acts on it._

_Fuck._

Hoseok kept thinking about the way the other man looked while sitting naked on his lap, plump lips around his dick, how he leaned against the wall on his desk, one leg thrown over his shoulder, moaning in that beautiful low voice, lips parted and pupils blown.

_Problem of the day: you also find him hot._

But sexual attraction was sexual attraction. The other had basically asked for it, massaging him and suggesting to take care of his tension.

_Now everything makes sense. He found you hot from the start, hot tub, hotel, the random body contact and the way he looked at you._

The problem with the whole thing was that Hyungwon was insanely attractive and so fucking eager. Hoseok felt the tingling at his fingertips from the wish to wreck the boy, to show him how he could make him feel and bask in those moans, unable to hold back pleasure.

_Imagine how he'd look like sitting on your dick while you lift his hips and push them down in a roll while thrusting up._

_But you fucking won't. Because he's your assistant. You have to work together and most importantly you value his work more than his naked body over your dick and more than the plump lips around it._

_He's 22. What are you even thinking?_

Having fun once was okay, mutual attraction leading to more and fuelling the tension before releasing it. But it had no purpose and could easily become confusing.

_It's easy. Simply a one time thing. That's it._

_  


The alarm went off at six and his body screamed at him for working out too harshly and drinking too much while his brain immediately reminded him of why he should've acted like a professional and declined the offer of the massage, knowing exactly what might have happened.

_You knew what would happen after he jumped up that counter, grinning obviously and telling you that work is not a good lover._

_And he still called you ‘Mr. Shin’._

_Stubborn asshole._

A blowjob was a blowjob and it didn't matter to him. It was a welcome distraction after almost a hundred days without proper sexual contact and after this one time he didn't want to remember.

He had taken a long shower, pleasing himself and trying to get rid of the unnecessary thoughts he couldn't use while working. He had no appointments so he decided for the light blue ripped jeans and the white shirt with a yellow pocket that hugged his muscles perfectly, making the workout seem worth it. He styled the black bangs up for once, look much more intimidating than when he just let the strands fall over his forehead.

The Porsche brought him to his parking spot and he ran through the swinging door, greeting Ann and taking the elevator to the fourth floor.

It was eight thirty in the morning when he sat down on the red couch, thinking about what to tell Hyungwon.

_You can't act as if it didn't happen. It's childish and dumb. Just tell him as it is. It was fun but it was a one time thing which won't happen again and which also won't affect the working relationship in any way._

A careful knock sounded on his door, awaiting a response before Hyungwon entered, dressed in a similar suit to the day before, white shirt covering his chest and dark red tie adding something fresh to the look. His gaze was less relaxed than it had been the past two weeks. The large eyes remained on Hoseok’s desk and everything about the body language told him that he was a little uncomfortable, probably unsure how to act,

“Good morning, Mr. Shin,” the young man greeted and placed the signed contract on Hoseok’s desk, sitting down on the chair across from him.

“You signed? Thank God.” He rolled closer to the table to reduce the distance, placing his hands on the wooden surface and staring at the ridiculously handsome man.

“Are you awkward?”

“Why wouldn’t I sign?” Hyungwon asked instead of answering his question, eyes narrowing a little bit as his legs crossed. The hands rested on his knee, similar to the way he had held his body during the interview.

“Because you might think that the things that happened yesterday have any influence on our work relationship. But I'm happy if you don't.” He couldn't help staring at the tie, remembering the expression on the other man's face when he had loosened it while walking over to him.

The young man swallowed visibly, pink tongue licking over the red lips quickly as the blue eyes glanced to the side before focusing on Hoseok’s face again.

“I kind of assumed that we would pretend that it didn’t happen, but here you are talking about it,” he murmured and spread his fingers, sliding down his knee before repeating the same motion by pulling them together at the top.

“We aren't in kindergarten. I don't know about you, but I'm old enough to make conscious decisions. It was fun for me and I dare to say that you looked as if you were having fun too. It was intriguing once and now we will continue working together, so don't let yourself be bothered by that because neither will I," Hoseok said while knowing that he had already lied, looking at the movements of the other man's fingers.

The blue eyes widened and Hyungwon’s lips parted as if he wanted to say something, just to close them again instead, teeth settling on the plump lower lip. The long fingers repeated the motion as the young man stared at him.

“Alright,” he whispered eventually, gaze falling back to the papers on the table. “I have fully organized Israel. There isn’t anything you have to concern yourself with except for your actual performance during the presentation of the project.”

“And yours. You'll be presenting with me,” Hoseok commented, staring at the dark blue eyes.

“Wait, what? Oh my god.” Hyungwon stood up suddenly, eyes wide and disappeared in his office before returning with the printed presentation. “I haven’t learned this by heart yet and it has to be perfect to get the financial agreements. Fuck, why didn’t you tell me earlier? I only have four days to make this amazing.”

Hoseok smiled brightly at the cute reaction.

“You're so cute. You don't need to learn it, since you know everything about it already. I talked to you. You're perfect at that. That's why I decided last minute. Your ideas were really interesting too.” He smiled and caught the other man's gaze, lifting his index finger and indicating to come closer.

The beautiful young man froze, eyes ridiculously large and hand that held the printed presentation sinking down and hanging loosely at his side.

“W-what?” he asked, voice a little shaky and not moving anywhere despite the rather obvious request.

Hoseok repeated the motion again while observing the unusual reaction and not understanding what was going on.

“Come here.”

Hyungwon stared at him, still not moving before the rather shocked gaze changed, eyes narrowing as the plump lips pulled into a thin line, tongue licking over them a few times. Taking a deep breath the young man threw the printed papers to the ground, noise of the sheets scattering on the floor filling the room.

Steps clear and echoing along the walls he walked over quickly, expression intense and impossibly attractive, out of nowhere. Leaning down, the beautiful man placed his palms on Hoseok’s shoulders, squeezing as he threw one of his long legs over his lap, climbing on top of him, air hitting his lips as the blue orbs focused on him, eating up every change in his face.

_Fuck, fuck, holy fucking shit._

His breath hitched, hands grabbing the thin waist automatically, eyes widening and air not really passing through his lungs.

“Fuck. Holy fuck, Hyungwon.” His breathing pattern changed as he stared up at the intense gaze, so impossibly hot.

_That went well, fuck._

The young man appeared taken aback by his reaction, but the proximity increased, lips almost touching as the fierceness in his eyes remained.

“You told me to come, so I did,” he whispered against his lips, long fingers sliding down from his shoulders to his arms, touch light.

_Shit, why is he like this? Why does it have to be so fucking hard?_

“I-I did, but-" He had no proper resources to explain the point when the explanation appeared out of nowhere.

_It's because you did the same gesture while he sat on top of you yesterday, you idiot._

_But why would he comply?_

_Just resolve the misunderstanding._

The slim hips shifted on top of his lap, fabric of the tight suit pants straining on the area of Hyungwon’s crotch, not meant to sit spread legged on someone’s thighs. The other man’s blunt nails dug into the fabric of his white sweatshirt as the brunette bit down on Hoseok’s lower lip, sliding his tongue along it right after in a soothing gesture.

“You’re hot when you put your hair up,” the younger man whispered.

_Oh no. No no no no._

“What the fuck are you so hot for?” Hoseok breathed out and closed his eyes for a couple of seconds before catching the plump lip with his teeth. Arms curled around his neck and pulled him closer, low gasp muffled by his mouth.

“I thought you were ‘unbothered’,” Hyungwon murmured against his lips, interrupting the kiss and pulled at the black strands of his hair, attaching himself to Hoseok’s neck instead, sucking along his jugular vein before letting go and staring at him, familiar blush spread over the cheeks and beautiful lips a deep red. The blue eye color stood out so much more when the other man looked like that.

_He's sin._

“How the fuck am I supposed to be unbothered like this? Are you kidding me? I can only be unbothered if you stop being ridiculously hot and maybe not sit on my lap when I tell you to come here because I wanted to show you my ideas regarding the presentation. Fuck.” He grabbed the hips tighter, knowing exactly that the other would try to get off as soon as he resolved the misunderstanding.

_And you don't want him to go._

As expected there was resistance, blue eyes enlarging and palms pressing down against Hoseok’s chest, not moving an inch due to the tight hold.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” the younger man mumbled. “You’re right. It’s fucking early and we should be working and-” He stopped talking and returned his arms to Hoseok’s neck, pressing the hot, plump lips against his mouth. “Fuck my life, can’t you be old and boring instead of a living wet dream.”

_Why is he like this?_

_Why are you like this?_

_You both are fucking crazy._

He curled his arms tighter, kissing back, and sliding his tongue over the addicting lips.

“Can't you just be a dumb 22 year old? A straight, dumb 22 year old?” Hoseok murmured, the body weight feeling so nice over his lap as if it belonged there. “You think I'm a wet dream? Why?” he asked, roaming over the clothed back and sinking a hand into the brown hair.

The other man put more distance between them, taking deep breaths.

“But it's not a problem that I'm 22, as long as I'm straight and dumb?” he asked and attempted to slide off Hoseok’s lap again. “I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my fingers off you if I reminisce on why you are a wet dream.”

“Depending on the constellation, it can become one,” Hoseok exhaled and loosened his grip. “First you climb me, then you want to run away. What do you want?”

“Ehm, I'm not sure yet,” the young man murmured. “Currently you, but my brain says it's a bad idea and that I need to rock that presentation in four days.” A sigh left the plump lips as Hyungwon let his head fall on the muscular shoulder. “Work, Hyungwon. Work,” he repeated, more to himself than Hoseok.

_You're crazy. It's your office for fuck’s sake._

“Let's prepare then. I doubt that I'll be able to concentrate if you sit on my lap,” Hoseok commented and concentrated on his breathing. Gulping audibly the younger man slid off his lap and took the chair, bringing it next to Hoseok so they could discuss properly instead of sitting across from each other. The blue eyes closed as Hyungwon did a pretty common breathing exercise before glancing at him, tent in his suit pants obvious and light blush still present.

“How would you like to split the presentation? Which part would you like me to take over?”

_It's going to be a shitshow, won't it? You have to stop._

_Somehow._

_  


The cool air from the air conditioning felt like a brick thrown into his face after the hot weather outside. He waited in the lobby for Hyungwon to come back with the room keys after the check in. It was amazing that he could absolutely trust the other with all the organization. He had much more time for his actual conceptual work this way.

_Actually, the more stressed you are the better._

The last days had been a little hectic, Hyungwon had ran around being a little panicky and asking an insane amount of questions. It was fine, he was so smart, understanding everything and asking the right things. Most importantly they stayed away from each other, only talking about the presentation.

It was good.

_Would have been nice if he'd just stop being hot and smart._

Hoseok looked over to the counter and caught the handsome man's gaze, staring at him a little apologetically before taking the room keys and walking over to him. The dark blue suit pants and the white shirt without a tie looked very good on him, also the way he walked over, as if he was a fucking model.

“I got the keys but we have a little problem,” the brunette said and glanced towards the reception where one of the employees showed him a thumbs up for some reason. Hyungwon turned back towards him and signed.

“They think we're two gay guys on a honeymoon.”

“Why is it a problem? I just want a shower to be honest. Are our rooms next to each other?” Hoseok asked, not giving a shit about other people's opinion.

Hyungwon looked a little uncomfortable and switched the foot he was standing on.

“Ehm, they kinda misunderstood when I said that we need a double room each, Mr. Shin. Therefore we have one room, for both of us.”

_Oh no, again? It's four days this time._

He tried to look nonchalant, grabbing his room key from Hyungwon’s hand.

“Well, it's not as if you want to massage me again, right? There are probably also two beds so everything is fine.” He stood up and walked over to the elevator.

“Of course not,” Hyungwon replied and turned around quickly, walking toward the black elevator and pressing one of the buttons, Hebrew writing on top of each of them.

“Unless you actually want me to loosen up your muscles this time. Instead of…” The pretty man trailed off and bit his lip. “Other things.”

He breathed out and pressed the number, waiting for the elevator to arrive while trying to get used to the thought that he had to stay in a room with his hot assistant for four whole days.

_Just be professional for fuck’s sake._

“Massaging me is not part of your job, Hyungwon,” he said and walked through the open doors.

The younger man leaned against the railing, glancing in Hoseok’s direction and fixing the watch on his left wrist.

“That might be true, but I don't mind offering things I'm good at.”

_This fucking tease._

“Well, then I won't mind declining.” He grinned and walked out, going straight for the room, sliding the key card through the slot.

Opening the door, he entered the hallway and spotted the bed. One bed. One double bed with rose petals on it.

_Oh god why?_

“You can pick a side because you're cute." Hoseok felt the need to make Hyungwon angry for some reason.

_Because he has to suffer too, instead of making obvious innuendos._

The handsome man exhaled harshly through his nose and pushed his luggage to the side, coat landing on the desk in the corner as he threw himself on top of the bed, rose petals flying up and covering some of his face and chest, a few attaching to light brown strands at the motion.

“Fuck you, Mr. Shin.”

_What is he so handsome for?_

“You mean ‘Fuck me, Mr. Shin’. Not interested, sorry. But you're cute, that speaks for you.” Hoseok smirked and opened his luggage, unpacking slowly, gaze intense.

His assistant groaned and threw a hand over his face, obviously frustrated at Hoseok’s comment.

“No, this time I genuinely meant fuck you. This week is going to be hell, isn't it?” The younger man shifted his legs and glanced through a tiny space below his underarm, examining Hoseok’s form. “Can't you give me a lecture on Israel and talk about work instead of talking about fucking?”

“You were the one who talked about fucking.”

_Just fucking wreck him. You're absolutely controlled, it's the perfect time._

He started unbuttoning his shirt, gaze fixed on the handsome face before sliding it down his muscular shoulders, loosening the button of his pants.

“Shouldn't you have researched everything beforehand like the good boy you are?”

“I have, but I hoped to cheat you into changing the topic,” Hyungwon replied and got up, unaware of the petals that remained in his hair, a single one sticking to the beautiful neck, below the ear. His assistant arranged his luggage in front of him and opened it, taking out various shirts and articles of clothing that he hung up in the wardrobe. He religiously avoided looking in Hoseok’s direction.

“What are your plans for the day, Mr. Shin?”

“Come here.” Hoseok rolled his eyes and closed the distance, leaning in and attempting to remove the petal. Hyungwon tensed and slipped away, eyes narrowing.

“Fingers off,” he hissed and finished unpacking, going in the direction of the bathroom.

_Did he just tell you to fuck off?_

_No fucking way._

“Don't be sulky, little boy.“ He grinned and followed the other man, pinning the body against the wall and removing the petal finally. “You have garbage in your face. Why would I touch you otherwise?”

Hyungwon watched the way the pretty petal fell to the floor before looking up at Hoseok and biting his lip, eyes wide. His hair was still covered in a mass of red, colour very similar to the one on the plump lips. The younger man remained completely still, pressed against the wall and chewing on his lip repeatedly. The illumination in the bathroom was particularly bright, blue colour almost like aquamarine with the way it reflected the light.

“Don't treat me like a child,” he whispered but didn't move.

_He's not a child. You wouldn't be so affected if he was._

Hoseok leaned in and collected the other petals slowly, stroking over the brown strands in the process.

“I'm not, but the way you react tells me that you're indeed very young.” His fingers slid along the hairline and dipped into the silky strands, intense gaze fixed on the other man's ethereal face which was so close to his that it was a struggle to not touch it with his lips.

_But this isn't supposed to be like this._

Hyungwon stared at him, eyes a deep blue and lower lip pulled into his mouth. The long fingers of his right hand left their spot on the wall and stroked along Hoseok’s chest instead while the left one remained flat against the black tiles.

“But should someone like you act this way towards me?” The voice got a little louder, still a whisper but low tone familiar.

“Someone like me?” Hoseok hissed at the touch.

“Well,” Hyungwon began, gaze swerving to the side, revealing insecurity as the fingertips remained on the sculpted chest. “Someone older and in a position of power. Someone who should know what's right or wrong.”

_He thinks you're misusing your power._

“Nice try. You told me not to treat you like a child, but now you're referring to me being older. Tell me how I used my power just now? I removed the petals from your hair, don't need to be your supervisor for that. It also doesn't have anything to do with my age, does it? I didn't kiss you and I didn't touch you inappropriately. I'm undressing because I'm going to take a shower. More arguments?” Hoseok finished and tensed his muscles against the warm hand on purpose.

“You pushed me against a wall although I told you not to touch me. You could have merely told me that there are petals in my hair instead of getting physical,” the brown-haired replied, breathing in slowly while still leaving his hand on the defined pecs.

_He's right._

“You have a point. I'm sorry for overreacting.” He leaned back and removed his hands, breathing in and out twice and turning around. “I'm going to stay professional, don't worry.”

He received a nod in return as the younger man brushed his teeth quickly and disappeared out of the room.

_Amazing. Concentrate on what you should be doing instead of pinning Hyungwon against the wall._

He took a shower and changed into black linen pants and a thin blue shirt, walking back into the room afterwards.

Hyungwon was sitting up on the bed, back resting against the headboard and body clad in ripped jeans and a t-shirt instead of his usual formal attire. A thick book was lying on his lap and he appeared concentrated, fingers playing with the edge of the page.

_You need to go somewhere else._

He grabbed his phone and the room card, walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Hyungwon asked from behind him, sitting up properly based on the shuffling noise.

“Bar.” He walked out and closed the door.

The mixture of gin and tonic was perfect. The beekeeper seemed to be a skilled guy and Hoseok gave him a thumbs up after tasting the drink.

_Why can't you just get your shit together? It was okay before, wasn't it?_

Hyungwon was absolutely right. He was a superior who shouldn't misuse his position.

_Don't touch him._

The index finger swiped over the display and he clicked on the picture gallery.

Empty.

Of course it was empty. He had gotten a new phone and a new number three months ago, not taking a single photo since that time.

_Did you think you'd be able to fill the emptiness by yourself?_

He couldn't. He could only try to fill his schedule with work and workout, listening to music and reading like a mental person while living in a world which wasn't his.

Another drink was placed next to him. He had no idea how much time had passed while he stared at the black display.

A chair screeched on his right as a figure sat down next to him, ordering a Long Island Ice Tea with a familiar low voice.

“You seem to have a rather high affinity for gin,” a man commented and moved his chair a little closer to Hoseok, close but arms not touching. “Mind me joining?”

He looked to the side and needed a couple of seconds to realize that it was Hyungwon. The handsome man was wearing the same tight, ripped jeans, colour a mixture of dark and light blue tones in addition to a loose white shirt, emphasizing the tiny waist by the way it fell. The large eyes were focused on him and a pretty smile spread the thick lips.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, still a little out of it and taking a sip of his gin tonic.

“Sitting at the bar? With you?” Hyungwon asked back with a chuckle, apparently amused by his confusion. His drink was placed in front of him and the younger attached his lips to the straw, tasting it carefully.

_Get a grip._

“Yes I figured. I was not quite sure why.” He returned to his drink and took another large sip.

“I wanted to keep you company. You said yourself that you enjoyed it last time.” He could tell how Hyungwon curled his fingers around the glass, drawing patterns on the condensed water.

_Maybe you shouldn't enjoy each other's company too much._

“I see.” More of the tasty alcohol disappeared inside his mouth after which he played with his glass, turning it.

“I didn't get to tell you how much I love your library. I took a quick glance only but your collection is everything my book-loving heart ever desired. You have all of Dostoyevsky in first edition. Holy fuck.” The enthusiasm was obvious from the way Hyungwon spoke, gesturing in between words and smiling brightly.

“I really love books. Did you read ‘The Idiot’?” Hoseok turned around to look at the other man.

Hyungwon nodded and took another sip of his drink, fingers sliding over the glass aimlessly now that the condensed water didn't leave a transparent film.

“I love the book. Although it's been a while since I read it. I'm always fascinated by how Dostoyevsky manages to show human relationships, without only focusing on the good in humanity,” he elaborated, speech faster compared to the usual, rather calm way he talked.

“He's showing the common. The absolutely uninteresting and usual, portraying the world like this perfectly. There's nothing special about us and we lay, as Albert Camus said, our hearts into the gentle indifference of the world.” He drank everything in one shot. “Another one please.” He turned to the beekeeper.

“I think the impression can also be influenced by mood a lot, books corresponding to your emotions and changing respectively.” The barkeeper appeared confused, glancing from Hoseok to Hyungwon as if the other man had communicated with him nonverbally. “However, are you sure another drink is a good idea? It looks like you had a few and the congress starts early tomorrow.” The younger man sounded a little worried.

_Why does he get involved?_

“Why would you care though? I think I'm old enough to make conscious decisions.” Hoseok pulled his intimidating gaze on the barkeeper resulting in immediate action.

“The decision is fully yours. It was just a suggestion,” Hyungwon murmured, apparently just as taken aback as the poor man behind the counter. “For someone immensely successful you don't seem all that cheerful. I doubt that Albert Camus helps there with his rather depressing world view. It doesn't have to be truth, just a possible way of thinking.”

“Success doesn't equal happiness. Do you know that depressed people have been found to have a more realistic view of the world than optimistic people? Isn't it interesting?” The new drink landed in front of him and he took a long sip. “Something you need to know for tomorrow? Or are you just here to teach me life?”

The handsome man laughed and took a sip from his drink, twirling the straw around with his index finger and thumb.

“I doubt that I'm qualified for that. I'm aware of the studies, but it's also known that depressed people have a tendency to draw in black and white. The black might be true, but why ignore the white?” He turned properly in Hoseok’s direction and crossed his legs on the bar stool. “Most authors that like to write about a middle aged character tend to show disappointment and dissatisfaction despite having everything that objectively represents happiness. I'm just curious if you are one of them, if it’s a true representation.”

Something about the formulation made him really angry, but he couldn't point out what exactly it was.

“I'm not a character out of a Dostoyevsky novel, Hyungwon. You might just not have enough insight into certain things yet, if we're talking about perspective here. Yours just doesn't fit with mine at all,” he commented and picked up a drop of the condensed water, licking it off his finger.

“I know. It's just- I feel that if I were you I would be trying to experience things, to learn something new instead of drinking myself into unpleasant buzzness that reduces my productivity the next day.” The large hand pushed the glass closer towards Hoseok’s and the same was repeated for the bar stool. Hyungwon looked at him, eyes large and lips a little moist from the drink he had just tasted.

“You're wrong. I do experience a lot of new things, but they just throw me out of my routine and I end up like this. I'm drinking because I want to, my productivity will be absolutely fine, as always. You don't need to worry, think about your own performance.” Hoseok twirled the liquid, watching how the ice cubes disappeared slowly and downing the rest of the drink.

“I'm sorry for intruding,” Hyungwon murmured and got up, emptying the rest of his own drink and placing his hand on Hoseok’s back carefully, sensation warm even through the fabric. “I guess you fascinate me more than you should.”

“There's nothing fascinating about me. Trust me. I'll go up,” he said and stood up, lifting a hand to the barkeeper and walked towards the elevator. Hyungwon fumbled with money quickly, throwing some on the counter before running after Hoseok. The long legs quickly fell into step before overtaking him and pressing the elevator button. As soon as the elevator arrived the young man leaned his head against the wall, exhaling loudly while hands curled around the railing.

Hoseok just stared into nothing after pressing the floor, listening to the way the doors closed.

The constant deep breaths that had filled the air stopped suddenly, long body next to him pushing off the wall and grabbing Hoseok’s shoulders. The warm hands pulled him into a kiss, roughly and out of nowhere, only separating when the beeping noise of the next passing floor sounded. As if nothing had happened Hyungwon returned to his spot against the wall, only the sped up pants revealing that something had occurred.

“What was that? Also me not knowing what's right and what's wrong and misusing my power?” He stared at the other man, licking Hyungwon’s scent from his lips.

“No- fuck. I'm sorry,” the young man said, long fingers brushing through the light brown strands and teeth biting down on the plump lower lip, even redder from the action. “It's just- it's like there is electricity in the air and I need to do something. I'm not sure if it makes sense. I'm sorry.”

“You're driving me crazy.” He stepped out and walked over to the room, sliding the card through the reader quickly. Opening the door he went directly to the bathroom and closed the door.

He brushed his teeth furiously before washing his face thrice with cold water, until light blush covered his pale skin. He looked in the mirror for what felt like several minutes, the way his dark eyes looked, gaze intense and staring at himself.

_Remember how she said it's the reason for everybody falling for you?_

He decided not to think about it and took off his shirt and pants, opening the bathroom door and walking out. The time was one of the worst possible times to leave the room.

Hyungwon was standing in front of the bed, naked back turned towards Hoseok and slim fingers pulling the tight jeans down the endless legs.

_Ignore it._

He walked over to the bed and slipped under the blanket, closing his eyes and hoping that he'd fall asleep in the next fifteen seconds although his heart was hammering in his chest. Hyungwon didn't say anything, finishing up whatever he intended on doing based on the sounds. The blanket moved as rose petals flew around, some landing on his face, scent intense. Hoseok could perceive how weight shifted on the bed and the young man climbed under the blanket, breaths loud next to him. Their bodies weren't touching but the warmth was seeping through the air.

_Oh for fuck’s sake, how are you going to survive this?_

He opened his eyes and removed the petals before staring at the ceiling and listening to the sounds of Hyungwon exhaling next to him.

“This is more awkward than I thought,” his assistant breathed out next to him, words almost deafening in the silence. The room was completely dark, curtains pulled shut but it was still possible to make out vague silhouettes.

“Why are you awkward? Just sleep,” Hoseok commented, not turning around.

“We're lying in a bed covered with rose petals. I tried to get most off but it's basically impossible. The whole room smells like roses and there are petals that press against my naked legs. How could it not be awkward?” There was more shifting on the bed before a warm thigh brushed his before disappearing.

“Remove it then, what's with your practical intelligence today?” Hoseok turned on the small bedside lamp, jumped up and lifted his blanket, trying to get rid of the flowers, throwing it to the side and removing the rest from his side before crawling back in. “Or did you expect _me_ to remove them from your legs?”

“No, opposed to you I have considered your comfort and attempted to remove petals without ripping the blanket from you, Mr. Shin.” Hyungwon curled his arms around his thin waist, only dressed in tight black briefs. As announced there were petals covering his legs and the sheets, independent of the masses that Hoseok had thrown to the ground. The thin arms reached for the blanket and pulled it until the waist.

“Are you trying to drive me nuts, Hyungwon? Because that's exactly how one drives me crazy. I drank three gin tonic. I have no resources for this shit.” He groaned and pulled the blanket completely from the other man's body.

Hyungwon stared at him, minimal light reflecting in the blue eyes and covering the golden skin in a beautiful shimmer. Instead of answering immediately the gaze intensified, pink tongue licking over the red lips. “It's not my fault that you drank gin tonic.”

“Yes, but everything else is,” he hissed and threw the blanket on the ground.

A light grin materialized on Hyungwon’s lips at the words, one long leg bending at the knee and lifting up.

“And what are you going to do about it? Punish me for being a bad boy?”

_What the fuck?_

“Want to be punished by me? Is that why you're being like this?” Hoseok asked and licked his lips, gaze intensifying and sliding over the almost naked body.

The slim hips shifted as the lips parted in response. It was almost visible how the pupils widened even further, black taking over the deep blue colour before the quiet but distinct word finally reached him.

“Yes.”

 

***

 

When Hyungwon had booked the hotel room for the Israel congress he had never thought that it would return to bite him in the ass. Painfully.

Back then he had been desperate about the lack of contact, desiring to be just as close to the other man as he had been in London. So he had purposefully mispronounced his words, ending up with one bedroom. He hadn't expected rose petals, but the smell was nice so he hadn't really cared much.

However back when he had booked there had been no unquenchable desire to jump the other man and be close to him, to throw the professionalism and the fact that Shin Hoseok was his boss out of the window. He knew what the other man's dick felt like between his ass cheeks and sensations like that weren't abandoned easily.

_How the hell are you supposed to stay away with that knowledge when he's lying in bed next to you?_

Hyungwon had cracked in the elevator, tension between them unbearable and electricity filling the air, letting goosebumps appear on his skin. The older man had been strangely distant and negative, wish to cheer him up and to be close intertwining into the fucked up idea of kissing his boss in a public elevator at a congress in Israel.

_You're reckless, Hyungwon. Maybe he's right, you're young and know absolutely nothing._

The strange atmosphere between them got only worse the longer they remained in the hotel room. Hoseok was lying under the same blanket, basically naked and breathing next to him. Hyungwon wanted to stare at his attractive face, touch the body and not give a shit about it being off limits.

_But you're not a teenager. You know your responsibilities, so fucking follow them instead of thinking with your dick._

Calling Shin Hoseok by his last name was Hyungwon’s method of building up distance or teasing the other man, desperate but successful in one way or another.

_When he's angry at you, you can't jump him. He won't let you._

But the anger was greater than expected. His boss hissed in frustration and pulled the blanket off his body, leaving him lying on the sheets in his briefs and covered in rose petals.

_What is this, Hyungwon? Your own version of American Beauty?_

Shin Hoseok looked unreal. The black hair framed his face, eyes dangerous and freezing the air in Hyungwon’s lungs. The minimal light was throwing small reflections on the defined muscles, each little dent visible and tempting. His boss was fucking attractive and it was unfair. Why were all good things either taken or off limits?

The desire spiked without warning, ignoring all of Hyungwon’s efforts and drowning his head with thoughts that were everything but rational and work related.

_Did you just ask him if he'd punish you for being bad? What's wrong with you, Hyungwon?_

“Want to be punished by me? Is that why you're being like this?” the ridiculously hot man in front of him asked, eyes almost black and paralyzing Hyungwon completely as they slid over his body shamelessly.

_Shit. Shit, what are you doing, Hyungwon? He finds you attractive, but this is supposed to be wrong._

A potent wave of arousal moved through his limbs, clouding his head and letting his eyes rush over the muscular body in front of him, breath stuck in his throat.

“Yes,” he breathed out, skin burning in anticipation.

“You have no idea what you're doing, do you?” The muscular man moved towards him, slowly like a snake and lifted an eyebrow.

Hyungwon shook his head, teeth remaining buried in his lip and heart hammering in his ears. His fingers spread and dug into the sheets, blood flowing south and arousal tingling along his legs.

_Why do you react so strongly? Do the circumstances excite you?_

“But what are you going to do if I just snap? Or if I make you beg for it? Or if I just fuck you, because I drank so much and have no control over myself? Mhm?” Hoseok stopped in front of his feet and crawled on the bed, Hyungwon’s  thin body pinned between the muscular arms and thighs.

Hyungwon’s breath hitched.

_Fuck, you want him to, don't you?_

“But you said that you're perfectly capable of making rational decisions,” he murmured and lifted his long leg, easing it between the muscular thighs and rubbing along the crotch. The arousal kept drowning him, knuckles white from forcing himself to hold onto the sheets instead of the pale skin.

“I'm trying really hard, but you keep sabotaging my efforts so I'm thinking of just not giving a single fuck.” The movements continued but it was torture, slow and sensual, skin so close but not quite touching. “The question is, why? Why do you try to make me snap? I'm your boss. I'm over ten years older than you. But then I'm having your pretty body pinned under me and you shiver in anticipation.”

_Why, Hyungwon?_

He had wanted people before, investing some effort to get what he desired and recruiting his superior massaging skills. But desiring his superior was new for him. It felt exhilarating to be close to the other man, bask in the experience he didn't have and be desired by someone much older.

“It's exciting,” Hyungwon answered, feeling the blood colour his cheeks and lips, heartbeat getting faster and faster with every passing second, leg sliding back and forth between the firm thighs to evoke friction, to get some control back, free himself from the arousal based paralysis.

“So I make you excited. Maybe it fades when you get the proper treatment from me once? I mean a blowjob is nice but nothing special am I right?” The other man stopped right over him, intense gaze piercing through him but not touching him anywhere.

_Don't you dare beg before he even did anything, Hyungwon._

“Depends on whether your proper treatment is any good, Mr. Shin,” Hyungwon answered calmly, completely reissued to the way his body reacted and finally let go of the sheets, sliding one hand over the beautiful pale shoulder and pulling at the black strands, trying to get the older man to come closer.

“It depends on your preferences. Fact is there will be none of it as long as you call me by my last name. I think you misunderstand something. I'm hovering over you and you think you can tease me, but I see exactly how fucking eager you are. I could just go to sleep. I have to stand up early after all.” The older man came a little closer but didn't give into the pull, hissing the words against his mouth, eyes dark like the night sky.

Hyungwon gasped, bodily reactions obvious and dick twitching at the proximity. His body betrayed him independent of his efforts, lungs burning and skin melting from the effect of the older man's eyes, coil tightening in his groin.

“F-” Hyungwon began but was interrupted by the sudden and especially loud rendition of a dubstep track that his phone played from the corner of the room, still located in the pockets of his jeans. His whole body jerked at the sudden noise.

_You promised Namjoon to call and confirm that you weren't shot. Fuck._

Hoseok didn't even turn around, eyes still fixed on his face.

“You have two possibilities. You go pick up or you stay here. Nothing in between,” the low voice hissed at him.

Holy shit. Hyungwon had felt intimidated by the other man before, being lifted on a desk and frozen in place by proximity alone, but none of the situations had prepared him for this one. It genuinely felt like something terrible was going to happen if he moved, so he didn't, remaining trapped under the older man's body and breathing heavily while the music continued playing.

_He's got you in the palm of his hand. Just like that._

The older man closed his eyes and hummed in the incredibly low, sexually loaded voice.

“You're such a good boy. I love it.” The face came closer incredibly slowly, pink tongue licking over the red lips and eyes jumping from his face to his neck.

His breath hitched at the praise and another wave of arousal hit him without warning. He parted his lips and met the warm tongue with his, whimpering at the sensation and the lack of body contact. Shin Hoseok was playing with him and there was nothing he could do.

“And now you're making me want to wreck you again. The universe might be indifferent but you sure as fuck aren't and that drives me absolutely wild.” Shin Hoseok looked very different while saying it.

_Holy shit. Holy fucking shit, Hyungwon. You're driving him wild._

“Then go wild, wreck me,” Hyungwon moaned, hand pulling at the black strands harshly and throwing his head back, rose petals unfamiliar against his skin with the lack of the other man's warmth. He had given up on restraint, flowing like water through the fingers of the strong hands. He had told the older man to act, without begging for it and he wouldn't let himself.

The hot lips closed around his collarbone, kissing and licking over the tender skin, small bites gracing his chest and neck after a couple of long seconds, lips the only part of the other man's body that touched him.

Hyungwon shivered, eyes closing automatically and all attention focusing on the tactile sensations, pleasing but not enough. He was already rock hard, regular pulses throbbing in his legs and groin and the hand in the black strands was absolutely helpless, Shin Hoseok not bulging even a bit at his pulls. Biting his lip he rubbed his leg repeatedly over the prominent erection to have some influence by himself.

An index finger went to the curled mouth and the pink tongue licked over it, sliding the wet digit over his nipple, breath hitting the wet bud and sending spikes through his body, goosebumps spreading over arms and legs.

_He's really going to wreck you. He’ll fuck you up._

He felt excited and wanted so much more, curiosity and pleasure a potent combination. Moans began to leave his parted lips, thighs tightening around the other man's and seeking friction.

_Why aren't you acting yourself? Who said that you can't?_

Hyungwon bit his lip and stroked his other hand along the muscular back, scratching over it on purpose and imagining what the other man could do to him, driving him insane. He let the long fingers slide further and cup the large clothed erection, breathing pattern reacting again without the intention to reveal his inner state.

“Do you like how it feels?” The voice was a little more breathy this time, teeth finding his lip in an instant and nibbling on it, soft exhales leaving the parted mouth.

“Yes, fuck, it's amazing,” Hyungwon breathed out, eyes still shut and overwhelmed by the sheer strength of the sensations when he didn't see the touches happen. Hoseok’s erection felt overwhelming in his hand, hot and well formed. He had loved the way the older man's dick had looked the last time and he couldn't wait to see it again, feel more of it.

“Touch it properly then.”

Biting his lip and keeping the eyes closed Hyungwon trailed his fingers over the tight fabric of the briefs, dipping under the waistband with his index finger before sliding his whole hand in and rubbing wet circles over the exposed tip with his thumb. The excitement and adrenaline filled him out completely, situation familiar but at the same time incomparable. He hissed at the way it felt to please the other man, to be able to make him feel good, be the person he desired.

A low moan got caught by his mouth. Separating from his lips and moving along the neck, teeth mercilessly sank into his shoulder, probably sparing the neck because of the presentation tomorrow.

“Be a good boy and get rid of your clothes for me. I want you to sit on my lap.” The other man was breathing heavily, erection twitching in his hand at the words and giving him space to act on the request.

Hyungwon nodded, shocked at his own willingness to be a fucking good boy despite his own innuendos at being a bad one. It was fucked up but his body reacted faster than his brain could, sparks passing through his limbs and hand curling around the beautiful dick properly, applying pressure prior to letting go. Long fingers pushed under the waistband of his own briefs and pulled them down his smooth legs, erection springing free and drop off precum visible at the tip. He was way deeper into the whole thing than he had anticipated.

Throwing the piece of cloth off the bed he leaned back on his arms, rose petals still covering his legs. Hyungwon inhaled deeply, fighting his thighs to stay in place and not act on the need for pleasure, shiver passing through them nevertheless.

The other man slipped out of his underwear and sat down on the bed next to him. Hyungwon didn't hesitate long and reached for the muscular shoulders, relocating his weight onto them as he slid onto the warm lap, firm thighs touching his smooth ones and arms curling around the older man's neck. The proximity was intoxicating and so was the feeling, sitting naked on top of him. He moaned at the perceptions and closed his eyes shortly, lower body rolling forward almost automatically.

Warm hands grabbed his hips without delay and the other man moaned, muscles bulging at every movement. It was hot and Hyungwon loved the feeling of control that he felt when Shin Hoseok reacted. He repeated the motion and moaned, head thrown back and nails scratching over the muscular back.

The older man leaned back against the sheets and lifted the hips, placing them right over the prominent erection. The gaze was more than intense and the pink tongue slid over the red, curved lips repeatedly.

“You handle me like a doll,” Hyungwon gasped and pressed his palms flat against the pale chest, own dick twitching at how the other man's erection felt between his ass cheeks. Fuck. Chewing on his lower lip and trailing his fingers over the pale skin he watched how fine red lines appeared. “Play with me.”

The warm palms slid along his thighs, fingers touching the inner thigh while the nails dug into the flesh. The hips under him shifted as the man below him thrust up a little.

“Fuck, you're so fucking hot.”

Hyungwon moaned again and focused his eyes on the almost black ones. Sucking his lower lip into his mouth he rubbed his hips over the older man's erection in a smooth motion, repeating it endlessly and not breaking eye contact, lips parted to release gasps and pants.

He was graced with a low moan before the beautiful man put his right hand in front of his face, isolating a finger.

“Lick it.”

_Fuck, that's hot._

Parting his red lips Hyungwon leaned forward to cover the digit whole, sliding his head down along it until he reached the connection to the palm and sucking his way back up, repeating the procedure with each digit and not stopping the movement of his hips. He wanted Shin Hoseok to be so attracted to him that it felt like dying, senses numbed except for the prominent desire to be inside of him, filling him up to the brim.

“Why is this so fucking good?” he murmured, not expecting an answer and merely overwhelmed by the intensity of his desire.

“I have no idea but I want you.” The hand went between his legs and the wet digits curled around his erection, applying pressure to the tip before removing the fingers suddenly.

“I think, you should sit on it.” The man pointed at his own erection, licking his lips and piercing Hyungwon’s soul with the dark gaze, intense like a sharpened knife.

_Yes you should, Hyungwon._

He bit his lip again, impossible to suppress with the way his body burned in anticipation, arousal seeping lower from the words. He brushed his hand through his light brown bangs and took several calming breaths. Reaching for the bedside drawer he grabbed a condom and the lube that he had placed there. He ripped the condom package with his teeth and rolled it over Hoseok’s dick with one hand. Rolling his hips over the hot thighs simultaneously he poured some lube on top of his hand, reaching below himself right after to spread it over the gorgeous erection.

_He's huge though._

Considering the issue for what felt like one second he pressed his ass against the hard dick under him and stared at Hoseok. Shit, Hyungwon wanted the older man to fuck him and rip his awareness to shreds.

“I see you're prepared. Why am I not surprised?” The curled mouth spread in a smirk before the lips parted and the other man seemed to hold in a breath.

_He’s more affected than he lets on. Fuck him up, Hyungwon._

The long fingers of his right hand left marks along the pecs as he lined up the firm erection with his lower body, veins defined against his fingertips and making his thighs shiver. Establishing eye contact Hyungwon did what he was best at, teasing in addition to surprising people with sudden actions, so he breached himself with the tip, rolling his hips to stimulate a little but not give Hoseok the whole program. After a few

repeated motions he slid most of the way down, not slamming because he didn't want to hurt himself but quicker than usual nevertheless, focusing on the dark eyes below him. It hurt a little, size new but getting used to the fullness would solve the problem quickly.

_As soon as he hits you're a moaning mess anyway._

The other man's fingers dug into his thighs as he moaned in a way he hadn't before, rolling his eyes and throwing the head back. Shit, it looked amazing and Hyungwon was damn good at riding. He lifted his hips slowly, keeping the smooth motion until he pushed himself down quicker, gasping at the sudden fullness and friction.

_Shit, you're sitting on your bosses dick and it's the hottest thing ever._

The older man was indeed rather well endowed, filing him out completely and Hyungwon hadn't even let himself sink down all the way yet, not fully seated on the warm lap. He hissed at the way the thickness made brushing the sensitive spot inside him easier and rolled his hips again, for himself this time, moaning loudly and throwing his head back.

“Let me hold onto your hands. I want to ride you,” Hyungwon moaned and stretched out his fingers as his hips didn't pause for even a second.

“Fine, but then it's my turn.” The older man smiled and complied, holding out his hands, hissing and moaning in the process.

Hyungwon wanted him to feel good, to bask in the pleasure without having to do anything. Grabbing the warm palms, he held onto them with his own and intertwined the fingers, using the grip to have enough resistance to lift his hips quicker and slam them back down, supported by smooth rolls and purposeful contracting around the erection inside of him. The burn at his rim increased a little but he ignored it and changed the angle, throwing his head back with vigour and groaning loudly, unable to contain the reaction.

“Fuck, you're perfect,” the man under him moaned before stopping his motions after a short while. The praise went right to his dick again, feeling completely full, but without the additional friction. Hyungwon didn't want him to stop, sweat drops appearing along his chest and legs. He could see a rose petal on his thigh and thought about removing it, but it had something special to it, attractive in its own way, so he didn't. As his movements had been stopped he attempted to sit all the way down instead, pressing his ass fully against the thighs and moaning at the way it felt.

“You feel overwhelming, oh my god,” he muttered, eyes closed and fingers burying into the one soft palm he was holding on. It was paralyzing somehow but in a good way, like it took the necessity to move while being immensely satisfying.

The older man removed the hand and grabbed his hips instead, lifting him up until only the tip was inside him. Nothing happened as the dark eyes narrowed on him before pushing his hips down all the way, thrusting up inside him at the same time, adjusting the angle and rolling his hips with the steering hands.

_Holy fucking shit._

The feeling was like a wrecking ball ripping apart his awareness with bliss, burning up his whole body, angle fucking perfect and pressure overwhelming. Hyungwon screamed, unaware that he even had the capability of making any noises louder that unconstrained moans. His eyes widened, focusing on the breathtakingly attractive man below him and he placed his palms flat on the muscular chest, unsure where else to put them and lacking the mental capabilities to think further.

“Do that again.”

“How could I say no if you're so good to me?” The other man moaned, lifting him up again, a smirk appearing on the beautiful face out of nowhere.

'Say my name.”

_What? That asshole._

Hyungwon bit his lip, body burning for more but he fought it, unwilling to give up just like that. A dick up his ass was not sufficient to have the authority to tell him to do things, even if he had never felt the same intensity before and desired more. The tingling sensation along his legs increased in force the longer he remained seated, basically immobilized by the other man inside of him.

He shook his head while keeping up the eye contact. The older man looked more relaxed than Hyungwon felt, but it was probably pretence just like before.

He was basically dropped on the other man's body, fingers still digging into his hips. Hyungwon wanted to glare at him but couldn't, pleasure like a fist that tightened around the coil inside of him and squeezed it. He screamed again, unable to help it and threw his head back, thighs shivering visibly.

“I love how you feel and sound like.” Shin Hoseok sat up, still inside him, licking over his neck and sinking the sharp teeth into the skin of his chest, moving inside him and moaning against his neck. It was impossibly hot and Hyungwon opened his eyes wide, trying to inhale the sight and commit it to memory, body on fire without an extinguisher. Praise did things to him and the words combined with the pale skin against his and sharp teeth marking his neck was driving him mad.

The older man threw the muscular legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, holding his thighs in place and pressing him against the wall. The red, curled mouth started abusing his lips again.

_This is crazy, Hyungwon. People only fuck against walls in movies._

His arms circled around the warm neck just as his legs tightened around the other man's hips, still feeling full and immobilized by how Shin Hoseok filled him out. He had been pretty sure that actually fucking against a wall was uncomfortable, but he didn't even feel the way the wall pressed against his back, hot skin taking up all of the tactile perception. His body was held like a lightweight, muscles bulging attractively but not showing intense strain. It was beyond arousing and so fucking exciting, a new experience that Hyungwon wanted to suck up like a drink through a straw.

The muscular man leaned in with his upper body, hot breaths hitting his neck as the other pulled out almost completely before thrusting into him with more force than before, hands holding his thighs in an iron grip and pressing him down a little to get a better angle. It felt so fucking good. Hyungwon moaned and hit his head against the wall, sudden pain spreading to his neck and disappearing again. He tried to get more of a hold, burying the fingers of his right hand in the black hair, legs crossing at the back.

“Oh my god, yes, fuck. How can you hold me up like this?” He just mumbled whatever his brain produced, pleasure soaring through him like adrenaline through his blood system.

“I could fuck you while standing, handsome boy,” the low voice breathed against his ear before he felt his back leaving the wall and the other pulling out. He was placed on the soft sheets as the older man crawled on top of him, eyes black and lips red, creating an immense contrast with the porcelain like skin.

Hyungwon swallowed as another shiver spread along the skin of his legs. He felt like in a movie, not in control of what occurred and in a limbo of occurrences and perceptions that combined into a delirium, clouding his senses and burning him to ash with undisclosed desires.

“Stop talking and fill me up already. I want more,” he moaned and attempted to pull the older man closer, to make him continue to steal his breath away.

“Then say my fucking name. I want to hear you scream it.” The hot tip pressed against him but there was no movement.

Asshole. His boss was a torturous asshole. The knowledge of how the older man inside of him could feel like set his mind ablaze instead of his body, thoughts rushing through his head without a break. Thoughts commented with how it was completely irrelevant whether he called his boss by first name or not, how distance was overrated and he only needed to feel good, how he could think about everything afterwards.

_Don't give up just like that, Hyungwon._

He groaned and threw his head back, biting down on his lip painfully and shaking his head again, faint taste of blood on his tongue. He had never wanted anything as much as the other man but he had pride and was stubborn.

Shin Hoseok put both his legs over the muscular shoulders and pushed himself in slowly, leaning in and almost bending him in half, lips touching his ear lobe.

“There will be no way you'll come without saying my name once.”

_He'll kill you with this, Hyungwon and he's not kidding._

Shin Hoseok was never kidding. Hyungwon took a deep breath, experimenting on whether he was able to focus on something else as his body was burning to the ground in the meantime. The answer was negative as the way the older man filled him up already evoked moans and groans from his lips. Biting down again he looked up and focused on the attractive face above him, eyes still black and a few single strands sticking to his forehead, body reacting just like Hyungwon's was.

_He can't do this forever though._

“You can't fuck me forever without being affected yourself though, Mr. Shin,” he gasped out and pulled at the black hair to place a kiss against the curved lips, not giving a shit about being bent further.

“You would be surprised. Your naivety is cute somehow.” The hips moved back and slammed into him, a low moan escaping the older man's mouth. Hyungwon groaned and couldn't help glancing between them and watching how the other man's erection disappeared inside of him, breath hitching at the sight and lips parting as he pulled at the black hair again to get another kiss, muffling the sounds that left his lips and bordered on screams.

“Don't call me cute,” he hissed and pulled harshly, other hand scratching over the muscular back, definitely leaving marks until tomorrow at least.

A low, mocking chuckle was the only thing he got as an answer as the older man leaned back and lifted his lower body with the muscular arms. Intense thrusts followed, robbing him of the ability to think. The pleasure was otherworldly, screams leaving his mouth without restraint although he tried not to, coil tightening with each motion and succumbing to the tight fist that squeezed it.

“Oh god,” Hyungwon yelled, bordering on delirium and unaware of what his hands were doing, most likely scratching over pale skin with the desperate attempt to hold on, keep himself in the current realm of reality.

The other filled him up completely, thighs touching, and the thick erection twitching inside him.

“You asked me what I'm into, remember? I'm really into people screaming my name into my face while I'm balls deep inside them.” The other man licked his lips and made his dick twitch again on purpose. Hyungwon moaned and thrashed his head from side to side, attempting to breathe through his nose but not getting enough oxygen.

“Shit,” he cursed, committing the terrible mistake of glancing between him and Shin Hoseok again. The sight was intense, like he had catapulted himself into an impossibly vivid wet dream and forgotten to wake up, golden and marble-like skin tone intermingling and painting a mesmerizing picture. “It looks so crazy how different our skin tones are. I'm so slim and you fill me up so crazily, fuck my life.”

The other moved back a little and slid in again, smirk in place and eyes eating up his body, jumping from the stomach to the chest and finally resting on his face. It felt intense, way beyond anything Hyungwon had ever experienced. Had it been any of his previous encounters he wouldn't have felt close to losing his mind and would have probably been back in bed, sleeping peacefully instead of being filled up by his boss in a double bed filled with rose petals. Hyungwon watched him intently and contracted, taking in the beautiful features.

“You feel so good around me, but I want you to scream my name. I'll reward you for being a good boy.” Hyungwon hated his body for betraying his weakness for praise, dick twitching at the last words and arousal spiking up although it had never left in the first place.

“Make me scream and I'll think about whether it'll be your name,” he replied and contracted again, wanting to see the other man be as affected instead of the composure he showed, attractive but also overwhelming.

“I should.” The hips moved back almost completely as the other man bent him again, slamming inside him with force and precision, sweat covering the pale forehead, straight teeth sinking into the lower lip. Hyungwon screamed and threw his head back, meeting the thrust as well as he could in his position, every other feeling and thought succumbing to pleasure.

“Fuck, give me more,” he moaned and fought to retain composure but couldn't. He just wanted to see the other man lose it and please please make him come, fuck him up, go harder on him, set his body completely ablaze. “Go harsh on me, do whatever.”

“Then say my fucking name,” Shin Hoseok groaned into his face, gaze intense and looking more affected than before.

Hyungwon gave up, pressure unbearable and every thought in his head returning to the same conclusion.

“Fuck me, Hoseok. Please. Please, please, please,” he gasped out, heavy breaths leaving his lips and resolving to begging with the way that the coil in his lower body tightened, shiver almost uncontrollable. “Please, Hoseok.”

“Fuck.” The other man slammed into him full force, moaning and panting all the way, before pulling out as Hyungwon barely kept himself from orgasming without being touched, which was absolutely ridiculous.

“On all fours.”

He felt delirious, white dots spreading out in front of his eyes before disappearing again, revealing Hoseok looking the most affected he had ever seen him, sculptured chest rising and falling rapidly and hard as fuck. He cursed and rolled over, long fingers tightening in the sheets and hips lifting slowly. The older man must have been affected by the sight as Hyungwon exhaled slowly and spread his legs, loving the fact that his skin was completely smooth and each touch wasn't shielded by anything. Shit, he had never felt this excited in his life.

Hoseok slid the hot palms over his back and sides before squeezing his ass cheeks and pushing himself in. The position enabled him to feel every centimetre as the older man's erection disappeared inside of him completely, hot skin of the muscular thighs burning against his. He felt warm breath hitting his neck.

“I should make you scream more for being so good to me. You're so fucking hot that I feel like dying of pleasure,” the low voice groaned into his ear and he felt fingers digging into his hips as Hoseok moved back and thrust into him roughly, sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air. Hyungwon screamed and threw his head back, feeling his own hair on his shoulder and scratching his right hand over the sheets, contracting at the force with which the pleasure swiped him off his feet and lacking oxygen, hands almost giving out.

“Fuck yes, just like that, fuck. Make me go crazy, Hoseok,” he moaned, voice rough and firm grip on his hips riling him up further with each second.

The pace increased, loud moans coming from the older man frequently, so unlike before. The coil inside him kept tightening even without any stimulation to his erection and Hyungwon’s eyes widened at his imminent orgasm.

“You drive me nuts, Hyungwon, fuck.” A hand went between his legs, warm fingers curling around his dick and stroking it while Hoseok was basically slamming into him, rolling his hips to hit the sensitive spot. Hyungwon convulsed, stars in front of his eyes returning and robbing him of the ability to do anything except of meeting each thrust and screaming the other man's name as he released himself into the warm hand, pleasure spiking at its high and calming down as he remained on his knees and moaned at the way Hoseok fucked him through his orgasm.

A couple of rough thrusts and the other man pulled him onto his dick until there was no space between them, releasing himself and pulsating inside him.

_Fuck. Oh holy fuck. This is fucking mental, Hyungwon._

He moaned at the way it felt, light burn reappearing but only adding to the excitement and let his head rest on his hands against the sheets. He kept his ass in the air and breathed against the hot skin of his own wrists.

The older pulled out and got rid of the condom, bringing tissues judging by the way he wiped Hyungwon’s thighs from the excess lube before throwing himself next to him. He was much more considerate than most of his lovers, who had thrown themselves on the bed in a state of post orgasmic comatose while Hyungwon had taken care of his body despite being fully spent.

“Guess we'll have to cuddle today, as your side of the bed is a little wet.”

Hyungwon groaned and lifted his head, avoiding the wet patch on the sheets and wondering how to disappear into thin air instead of all the things he was suddenly forced to think about after orgasming. How could the other man just switch back into a functioning mode? Hyungwon wanted to lie down and fall asleep instead of thinking.

Feeling completely drained after what he most confidently called the best orgasm in his life he crawled towards the older man and collapsed on top of him, resting his head on the firm chest and hoping that he wouldn't get reprimanded for it concerning their complicated relationship. It wasn't a one night stand and he couldn't just fuck off anyway, run through the Negev desert back home or something. Hoseok was his boss and they had a conference together, so he had to suck it up and be functional.

_You'll be sore, Hyungwon. He fucked you like there's no tomorrow and you have to stand for three hours. Genius._

“At least they'll expect the extra jizz because they thought we're on a honeymoon,” he murmured into the pale skin, warm against his cheek.

Hoseok hummed in agreement, sinking the fingers through his hair.

“I really like how you smell.”

Hyungwon froze, not expecting any positive utterances considering that the other man had just returned to his work mode last time and acted all professional, preferring his presentation sheets over Hyungwon's naked body. Lifting his head he glanced at the dark eyes, still intense but having lost most of their blackness, blush still present.

“I'm contemplating to use your chest as a pillow because of how muscular it is, so if you mind please complain now cause I'm going to be asleep in the next fifteen seconds.” Hyungwon inhaled the mixture of coffee and sex and relaxed his body, arms curling around the hips, fabric of the briefs less warm than the skin was. “Starting now.”

“Get some rest. Good night.” The low voice disappeared slowly as if faded out on purpose, each word quieter than the last until complete silence followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge pile of bad decisions, look forward to more ;) 
> 
> Next Update on the 29th of April at 2 PM CET.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What's with your breathing pattern? You shouldn't be excited anymore. Or are you scared?”

  
The regular breaths hit his skin as Hyungwon had fallen asleep on top of him, basically collapsing and obviously needing only a couple of seconds to close the big eyes and fall into unconscious bliss.

It wasn't the same for him, not at all. It had been very hard to fall asleep for the last couple of months, so hard that he had built up a routine to make sure he was so unbelievably tired that the sleep came by itself. The other person on top of him didn't make it any better.

_You can't just tell him to fuck off after fucking him for half an hour like a mental person._

He had wanted to stay away but Hyungwon and the absolute proximity twisted his decision. The sexual tension had been there from the start and so did mutual attraction. The realisation that those situations would've continued, if it wasn't released somehow, had been a very calm one. Hyungwon had jumped at every offer and ended up screaming his name, sending pleasure through every cell of his body.

Hoseok had loved it. There was no point in denying the obvious.

The boy was so eager, so receptive and so unbelievably hot, golden skin and the tattoo they had in common, the blue eyes and red lips, looking like someone sent from above to fuck him up.

_Shouldn't it be fine now? You both got what you wanted so you can just continue like before._

_There's no other option either way._

_And there's her._

_  


His chest felt heavy. After opening his eyes and glancing down he spotted the brown hair, framing the golden skin as the memories from last night returned simultaneously.

_You fucked your assistant._

He lifted the blanket, only to realize that the body over him was absolutely naked, beautiful erection pressing against his thigh.

_That will be highly uncomfortable and awkward. Having sex is one thing, cuddling to sleep while being naked on the other hand is not really common._

Hoseok had no idea how to wake up the other man, or better how to not wake him up. He tried to slip under the curled arms and the head resting heavy against his chest.

_Why are you so awkward? He has to stand up too. Don't behave as if you did something wrong._

“Hyungwon? Let's stand up. Do you need to shower?” he said, patting the slim shoulder. The other smelled so good that he felt like drowning in the intoxicating scent.

The slim body shifted in response, erection pressing further against Hoseok’s leg as the arms tightened and the younger man buried his face in his neck, as if he attempted to avoid the sound of his voice.

_What's this torture?_

He slid a flat palm over the smooth back and tried not to think about the way the beautiful body had made him feel yesterday and also the way it made him feel at that exact moment.

“Hyungwon? I bet you want to take a shower before your presentation so you should get up now.” He didn't know how he was supposed to ignore the other man like this.

“What time is it?” the low voice muttered into his neck, rougher after a whole night without using it. Based on the behavior Hyungwon wasn't quite awake yet, a little incoherent in his movements and speech. The long leg lifted further on top of Hoseok’s hips, knee brushing over his crotch before resting below it. A wince left the plump lips. “I feel like I eased myself down on a barge pole.”

_He kind of did. And he also got fucked by a barge pole._

“Yes, you were really enthusiastic about it yesterday, but I guess the morning is the time for regrets,” he commented and tried to remove the leg from his dick, already getting hard from proximity and considering it a very bad idea.

“Worth it,” the young man answered and tickled Hoseok’s neck with the strands of his hair. “My alarm didn't ring yet so it must be way too early for everything. Don't torture me.” Again the body shifted and attached itself further.

_He's awake, just go to the bathroom._

Hoseok tried to curl under the lean leg, removing the warm arms from his shoulders.

“You can sleep some more. I'm going to take a shower,” he muttered. Hyungwon nodded, eyes still closed and curled in on himself, searching for the blanket with long fingers and covering himself until the neck.

The warm water ran down his body washing away the remaining evidence of the last night.

_You can't wash away everything with water._

Hyungwon’s behaviour had been so unusual, hugging him and staying affectionate although they were supposed to be CEO and assistant, nothing more. It was confusing, but Hoseok hoped that the other man had just been sleepy and acted clingy because of not being fully awake.

_He is 22. He knows how one night stands work._

Hoseok decided not to think about it further and concentrated on his own pleasure, making sure there was no sexual frustration left to influence his behaviour.

_He's hot but he's not some kind of drug. Get a grip._

_  


The first day of congress started with a couple of interesting talks from Israeli high tech companies and it was almost their turn.

Hyungwon kept running back and forth like a mental person, repeating the presentation and biting his lip until it was red like blood. Hoseok walked over and grabbed the thin shoulder.

“No need to be nervous, it's just a presentation,” he said, voice low and hopefully calming enough. Hyungwon just nodded without saying a word, most likely not even registering the meaning properly as he stared towards the person that was presenting at the moment, someone from Italy, and played with his fingers without a break. When Hoseok focused on the golden skin he could see how the younger man's hands shivered, nervousness reaching new highs. It must have been his first presentation at that scale.

“Listen, you're really good. There's only one reason that I let you do it and it's your competence. If I had any doubt I would've never mentioned it. I have no hard feelings. If you suck then I'll be the first to tell you,” he whispered into the small, curved ear.

“But sucking has consequences and after sucking it'll be too late,” the younger man murmured and took deep breaths repeatedly, glancing at his watch and shivering increasing, index finger and thumb sliding a ring over the knuckle and back. The red suit looked very good on him and was rather attention seeking, contrast supported further by the black shirt and light colour on the plump lips. Hyungwon had put in effort, be it visually or content wise.

“You won't suck.” He squeezed the shoulder to get attention and waited until the big eyes settled on his face. “Don't you dare be nervous. Be as confident as you were while calling me Mr. Shin while knowing how much I hate it. I'm much more dangerous than these people here,” Hoseok whispered and his mouth spread in a grin.

The large blue eyes focused on his face and the plump lips parted for a short moment, remaining absolutely still before a grin graced the attractive features and Hyungwon's shoulders relaxed. His assistant leaned against the blue wall in the presentation room and fixed his tie, notes placed on the chair he had no interest sitting on.

“Of course, Mr. Shin. How could I forget that you are the big bad wolf around here,” he commented and chuckled, as if he didn't really believe it.

“You have 25 minutes before we present. Sit down, I'll prepare you for the worst,” he commented, knowing exactly that the other had no idea about the amount of experience he had, presenting at conferences and congresses for almost ten years already, encountering all kinds of annoying people and mean questions.

The handsome young man appeared surprised, but quickly switched into his professional mode, sitting down on the armchair in front of Hoseok that he had avoided before and crossing his legs, indicating for Hoseok to begin with a nod.

_Show him a little. It will probably be enough._

He started asking questions regarding the presentation, first a couple of the easier ones that Hyungwon was able to answer in an instant, but easy wasn't much fun so he increased the complexity digging much deeper into different topics, formulating the questions in a suggestive way, smirking and asking further, exposing the other man's lack of knowledge and experience. After asking a rather mean one he saw the other man biting down on his lip harshly. He stopped and walked a couple of steps, leaning down a little until their faces were on the same level.

“I know the answer to everything I just asked you. I'll be there with you if someone wants to know more. I'd destroy them all, you included, if I wanted to, so shut up and do your job.”

Hyungwon stared at him with wide eyes, visibly shaken by the words and intimidated by the questions asked.

“Yes, Mr. Shin,” he whispered as the gaze slid down from Hoseok’s eyes to his curved mouth before the younger man's pink tongue licked over his plump lower lip.

“Good boy,” Hoseok whispered in return while breathing hot air against the moist lips and walked over to the wall, leaning against it and crossing his arms in front of his muscular chest. The white shirt was a little too tight, he shouldn't have worked out.

Hyungwon switched his gaze and took a few deep breaths. Hoseok felt like nervousness wasn't the reason for the calming exercise this time as the younger man let his hands slide over his slim thighs and eventually stood up, preparing the pointer and checking if the presentation required any last minute adjustments before going to the stage.

Hoseok followed and sat down behind the podium. As expected Hyungwon rocked the whole thing, only needing help with one question that Hoseok answered while making the black haired man from Germany shut up in an instant.

_He deserved it. Passive aggressive dick head._

After finishing it was amusing to see the collection of women at the podium asking Hyungwon questions. It was especially surprising considering the men to women ratio was at 4 to 1. Most of them appeared older but the younger man stayed perfectly professional and had a serious face, genuinely attempting to answer the questions diligently.

_Cute._

Hoseok gestured that he was going to leave and turned around spotting a familiar person.

“Hoseok, holy shit, you're also here!” The brown haired woman ran up to him, smiling brightly and hugging him in an instant. He needed a couple of seconds before remembering the partner company he had worked with a couple of years ago ran by the pretty woman named Amelia. They had met a lot back then but didn't keep much contact since.

“Hey Amelia, I almost didn't recognize you. It's been almost three years, right?” He smiled brightly and hugged back, stroking over the slim back.

“Is Judith also here?” she asked immediately while leaning back and he felt the shivers run down his spine, trying hard to think about something he could say to save the situation, something that made an explanation obsolete.

_Don't explain._

“No, but my new assistant is.” He smiled again and intensified his gaze a little more, resulting in an immediate change of behaviour.

“Awesome, do you want to get a drink later? We can catch up on all the things that happened!” The smile was playful and so was the way Amelia held herself, playing with a strand of the brown hair, curling it around her pretty index finger.

_You'd rather not catch up._

“Let's see. We have a lot to prepare but I might.” A small meaningful smile was enough for the woman to giggle.

_She's really cute._

A warm hand was placed on his shoulder as long fingers pressed into the fabric of his suit jacket.

“We have only three minutes until the next talk, Mr. Shin. May I ask who this is?” Hyungwon commented, voice low and stable, especially now that the presentation was done with. The younger man leaned on him and smiled at the woman in front of them, expression calm but the lifted mouth corners added something playful.

“It's a good friend. Amelia, this is Hyungwon, my assistant,” Hoseok introduced and turned to the woman again. “When are you free?”

“I think I should be done at 10PM. I'll be at the bar, just see whether you are free by then.” She smiled and slid a finger along his chest. “Would be really nice if you were.”

_That one was obvious._

He smirked and nodded before turning around and walking towards the conference room. Hyungwon followed and chuckled next to him.

“Holy shit, your friend is thirsty,” he commented and placed his hand back on Hoseok’s shoulder.

“She is allowed to be.” He chuckled and entered the room, sitting down and spreading his legs a little. The whole sitting around was getting tiring.

Hyungwon joined him, back straight and legs crossed as he stared at the front where an elderly man was arranging his microphone to prepare for speaking.

“I'm sure she is, Mr. Shin,” he answered before leaning a little further into Hoseok’s personal space, lips almost brushing his ear. “She's rather relatable there. I'm still trying to forget how you made me feel, Hoseok.”

_Fucking tease._

Hoseok felt a coil inside his groin spreading slowly and sending spikes through his skin.

_This little asshole._

He didn't turn around on purpose, eyes narrowed on the person on the stage.

“Try harder then, pretty boy,” he commented while exhaling slowly and doing everything he could to make the other man believe it had no effect on him. He spotted the rather scared facial expression on the presenters face and realized that he had been staring the poor man down.

Hyungwon tensed at the words, leaning back against the chair and letting his hand brush over Hoseok’s thigh, lightly, fingers only leaving warm trails which stayed longer than the touch itself. As the caresses disappeared the long fingers intertwined with the other hand and were placed on Hyungwon's knee, focusing on the presenter.

_It might become a bigger shitshow than you expected._

After the half an hour was over, spent with dysfunctional thoughts and images he had tried to suppress by basically ruining the poor guy’s presentation with mean questions and starting a discussion about psychological methods although it was rather trivial.

_Multivariate statistics is a better choice than getting hard in public._

He stood up, thankful that it was finally over and walked to the elevator, wishing for nothing more than to change into more comfortable clothes and lie down for a bit, probably also drink something with alcohol, eventually with the cute woman.

_It might be a bother though._

Hyungwon entered the elevator after him, leaning against the railing casually as he enjoyed doing and propping up one long leg against the wall. The large blue eyes stared at him, emphasized by the headlight of the elevator.

“You ripped that poor guy into pieces,” he said, chewing on his lower lip and watching Hoseok’s form carefully. The way he acted seemed a little suggestive, but there was nothing different from his usual behaviour.

“Yes,” he answered and looked at the door closing slowly.

“He didn't deserve it though,” the younger man continued, lifting a corner of his mouth. “Mr. Shin.”

_Breathe._

“Thank you for sharing your opinion with me.” Hoseok lifted a corner of his mouth and got his phone out, checking for emails and hoping there was one.

In his periphery he could see how the younger man glanced at the elevator stops, several left until their arrival. A few seconds were spent in silence as the email provider didn't load due to bad data connection, shielded by the increased security of the metal surrounding them. Hyungwon pushed himself off and stepped closer before placing the hands on the railing next to Hoseok’s hips, head tilted to reach eye level, plump lips right next to his ear again.

“I would just prefer it if you could rip me apart instead, Hoseok.”

_What the fuck?_

He hissed unintentionally, coil returning immediately as an unwanted guest who waited in front of the door, ready to sneak in as soon as it opened. Licking over his lips slowly he lifted his gaze and stared into the blue eyes.

“You must've liked it a lot.” He smirked, breathing pattern getting more irregular and the change more difficult to hide.

“Couldn't you tell from the way I screamed your name?” Hyungwon gasped into his ear, pressing his body flush against him, one leg smoothly arranged between his thick thighs.

“Yes, but you're not quite riding my dick so I’m trying to understand why you're being like this.” A sharp exhale followed and he looked to the side, trying to make out the floor.

Hyungwon stepped away suddenly, not answering as the elevator stopped at their floor, doors opening and revealing an orthodox family with three children, waiting for them to leave before entering.

_Amazing._

Hoseok stepped out, walking towards their room, fast steps echoing through the long hallway. As soon as the door opened he walked into the bathroom closing the door after himself.

_What the fuck? Why are you in the bathroom? Why would you hide?_

Those were really good questions he didn't quite have the answer to.

_Isn't he sore from yesterday?_

_That's not the point, Hoseok._

He washed his face a couple of times and walked out.

The younger man was next to the bed, taking off his dress shirt, unbuttoning it with practised long fingers and glancing up towards him, red suit jacket lying on the bed.

“How do you feel about going out to get some drinks today?”

_No fucking way._

He also started unbuttoning his shirt, sliding it down his shoulders and looking through the accurate pile of t-shirts he had taken along, stopping at the black one.

Simple was always the best. He liked it simple.

“Don't know, Amelia wanted to meet up and I didn't really want to go out. But you could go, the bars are amazing here,” he commented and slid the black fabric over his torso, opening his suit pants and pulling down the zipper right after. Hyungwon was also switching clothes, changing into tight ripped jeans and an elegant sweatshirt, emphasising his waist nicely.

“But I'm rather worried to go alone to be honest. I'm not familiar with the city and I really wanted to see more of it instead of the congress hotel alone. You said you've been here a few times and know it pretty well, probably also the bars as you say.” The younger man adjusted his jeans and brushed a hand through his hair, making the styling more rough compared to the sleek way he kept it for work, forehead still visible. “You’re here for quite some days so I'm sure you can let Amelia hit on you on one of the other ones.”

_True. It would be a bother anyway. Just be sure to be home before midnight so you can go for a workout._

“Fine. But I want to work out later so I want to be back before midnight.” He stepped out of the pants and grabbed the dark blue ripped jeans, changing into the more comfortable fabric. “Let's go then.”

Hyungwon’s smile was bright as he slipped into a pair of black chucks, fitting his general, rather dark style and grabbed a leather jacket.

“I was actually wondering about something,” he began, waiting at the door for Hoseok to put on more comfortable shoes and grab the most important things such as key card and wallet. “How can there be a city where people are fully tattooed such as here and a few kilometres further it's all fully clothed and religious as fuck. How do they get along?” Hyungwon gestured again, obviously genuinely interested in the topic and furrowing his eyebrows.

Hoseok chuckled loudly before grabbing his things and walking towards the door.

“How can there be a city like Paris where there is at least one person from each nationality that exists and a couple of kilometres further the stuck up assholes are electing Front National? People are the same everywhere, they're just speaking different languages and care about different things but in the end we're all the same and the only difference is the way we make decisions in life and how we end up.”

Hyungwon nodded, visibly thinking about Hoseok’s words on the way to the elevator, eyes focused on the ground.

“I see. I guess I'm just lacking the ability to put myself into the position of someone who would wish to live such a controlled life. I'm basically doing exactly what I wanted to and still I feel like I'm constantly constrained in my decisions. I don't understand why anybody would want that willingly,” the younger man explained and entered the elevator as soon as it arrived, biting his lip and glancing at the ceiling.

Hoseok smiled, amused by the way the other man thought.

“Freedom can feel very constricting too. Often it's easier if the decisions are made and the rules are clear, plus living like this is a decision too. Why do you feel constrained in your decisions?”

“You're right. I guess it also depends on how much one is pressured by the process of making a decision. The harder it is the more one might desire to have them made by someone else,” he replied and sighed shortly, right hand playing with the ring on his left one. “I just feel like there are certain expectations that go along with studying psychology and what follows. There are paths that people take and I'm just worried that one day I'll wake up and want to do something else, but that's not really how things work. It frustrates me.”

“You'll just do something else then, why think about that now? You just rob yourself of the here and now. Just enjoy everything to the fullest and make a decision when the time comes.” He walked out of the hotel, night air hitting his face, warmth engulfing his body in a comfortable way. The heat of the day had disappeared, only the slightly warm breeze remained to tickle his skin.

The younger man breathed in deeply and stretched out his arms, clearly enjoying the wind and the way it messed up his hair. He smiled and turned to Hoseok before he seemed to remember the topic of the conversation, expression turning a little bitter.

“I do live in the here and now. It's just- I don't even know what I want to do now. Why did I even study if I'm just hanging in between decisions and bridging time because I'm too dumb to figure out what I actually want?” There was a medium sized wall on the side of the street and Hyungwon jumped up on it, still keeping his arms stretched out for balance and following Hoseok while going along it.

_Let him design a program. He could do it._

“Because life is about being confused and wanting stuff you don't have, without being sure whether it'll even change anything. The ambivalence is filling our existence to the point where we spend more time not knowing what to do and reconsidering made decisions than being happy and satisfied about the things we have achieved,” Hoseok commented and turned around the corner, street lamps throwing shadows on their faces while they walked past the shops and closed restaurants. It was already pretty late.

Hyungwon jumped next to him, wall ending and steps easily adjusting to Hoseok’s rhythm. He was glancing around in wonder, taking in the surroundings and seemed excited.

“But comparing oneself to others is inherently human and I keep thinking that there are so many other people that have such a clear wish to achieve something, to become therapists or research something or whatever and they don't even get the chance to study,” the younger man continued and brushed a hand through his hair again. “And then there's me who could do all of these things but can't even figure out what to do with it. Makes me feel like I'm taking someone's place who might be more worthy.”

“Bullshit, the only thing you could do to make yourself worthy is to make the most out of it, use your incredible brain and achieve something. Being satisfied with what you do is important. You only live once, do what you like.” Hoseok looked around, recognizing the way and already hearing the sounds that were coming from the beach bar he loved to go to, back when he had been there three years ago.

“Oh my god, are we going to a beach bar? Holy shit, I've never been at the beach with proper weather,” Hyungwon exclaimed and walked a little faster, taking a proper look and appearing euphoric before turning towards Hoseok. “I'm curious about you though. Did you know what you wanted when you finished studying? What did you do at first?”

Hoseok chuckled, remembering his first couple of years working.

“I worked at a big company. It was interesting and I learned a lot. I didn't do it because I wanted to but because it was an opportunity so I took it. The first conscious decision must've been starting my own business.”

_And her._

Hyungwon grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the bar, stools standing on a wooden platform that was already covered with sand, a short jump sufficient to be standing in the sand and only a few meters away from the water. The younger man sat down, cheerful and smile wide as he ordered a Mojito, a yellow one which was rather special for Tel Aviv.

“A gin tonic for you?” he asked, but Hoseok also preferred to drink a yellow Mojito.

“So you also tried out at first, like me. What made you decide to start your own company though? After all entrepreneurship is not really something we are taught commonly. You'll have had to learn it all by yourself.” The drinks were placed in front of them and Hyungwon took a sip, eyes widening before he took another and showed the bartender a thumbs up who just giggled and blew him a kiss, catching the younger man off guard.

“A wish. Everything else didn't really matter. I'm very organized so I learned the basic things and it went pretty well. I still like it although I can imagine wanting something else all of the sudden. Preferences and wishes are something variable.” He took a sip and leaned back watching the water move closer and emptiness returning in an instant.

“But do you think you could? Just dropping everything now? All the money you earn and all the material comfort that you have? It seems impossible to me to give up something like that ,” Hyungwon said and also turned to the water, breathing in the air and closing his eyes.

The younger man was indeed rather beautiful, eyelashes leaving shadows on the cheeks and dim light of the bar adding a shimmer to the golden skin.

“Don't people just say that they could, but in the end everyone prefers familiarity and stays with what they know?”

“They don't. They don't stay,” Hoseok commented and drowned the rest of his mojito, turning to the bartender and ordering another one.

“Most do,” the younger man replied and leaned back, placing a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder, fingers squeezing lightly. “Why do you like travelling?”

_He knows nothing._

“Because it gives me input, a lot of input. New surroundings, new culture, way of thinking, people that you wouldn't meet while staying in Paris. Opinions and world views that make you doubt your own and change you. Why do you like travelling?” He asked while watching the water, and not turning around.

The hand on his shoulder squeezed some more and Hyungwon breathed in, shifting on the bar stool and appearing excited again.

“The same actually! I love learning something new, realizing wrong patterns in my way of thinking or simply encountering new opinions and broadening my horizon. I think travelling makes you more open minded and more willing to accept other beliefs and world views. I wish everyone would have the possibility to experience that,” the younger man replied, voice a little lower than before and mixing nicely with the sound of the wind rushing over the beach without a break.

He hummed in agreement and nodded at the bartender bringing him another drink. The wind felt so nice that he leaned back and closed his eyes, letting the breeze hit his skin and the tactile perceptions intertwine with the sound of the waves coming closer and retreating again.

He felt how the fingers on his shoulder moved and travelled towards his neck, rubbing over the muscles and performing a similar motion as they had the last time, feeling pleasant and relaxing. The younger man breathed in, sound of glass against wood sounding as Hyungwon returned his drink to the bar table.

“What are you doing?” Hoseok asked keeping his eyes closed.

“Making you relax further,” the younger man replied and continued the motion of his fingers, index and thumb trailing up and loosening the tension in his neck.

“You don't need to make me more relaxed, Hyungwon. I'm fine.” Curling his fingers around the cold drink he took a long sip, feeling how the liquid flew down his throat.

“You’re not forcing me. I want to. You seem really tensed,” the low voice answered quietly and moved his bar stool further back, adding a second hand and tracing the strained muscles of his shoulders. “I love how the sea smells. It makes me realise that I'm really not in Paris anymore.”

_Why does he touch you all the time?_

Hoseok breathed out roughly and took another long sip of his drink. He closed his eyes again, deciding not to comment and listen to the sound of the waves instead, breathing in the fresh sea air. The caresses continued just as the silence did, water hitting the sand being the only noise that reached his ear. Stroking over his shoulder and back the long fingers drew patterns over his collarbones before slipping down to his back, pressing into the muscles along his spine. The touch was impossibly light unless the younger man intended to loosen him up, tension in his shoulders disappearing, making Hoseok realize that it was present in the first place.

He opened his eyes, focusing on a piece of lemon in his mojito and drinking the rest. A glance at his watch told him that he had half an hour to get back to be able to work out and forget all this.

“I have to go back. Do you remember the way?” he asked, turning around and looking at the other man for the first time in a long time.

Hyungwon's blue eyes reflected the minimal light, causing them to appear even brighter. The wind had roughed up the beautiful brown hair, making the strands fall irregularly and some covering the golden skin of the younger man's forehead. Biting his lower lip the other shook his head and stood up, hands finally leaving Hoseok’s shoulder and reaching for money to pay for the drinks instead.

Hoseok shook his head too and pulled a bill out of his pocket, leaving it on the table and standing up.

“Let's go then. Want to walk over the beach? It's five minutes longer though,” Hoseok proposed without thinking much. He just wanted to listen to the sea some more.

He was met with a nod as the younger man returned his wallet to his jeans and walked in the direction of the water, moving calmly and more relaxed than he did at the congress, steps less careful and calculated.

They walked in silence, until Hoseok crouched down and untied his chucks, slipping out and putting the socks inside them. The jeans were pretty skinny but he still managed to roll them up a little, stepping into the water and walking through it, cool feeling against his feet sending endorphins through his body.

Hyungwon followed him quickly, also pulling the chucks off his feet and stepping into the water, hissing at the sensation. Without a warning the young man lifted his leg and sprayed some in Hoseok’s direction, covering the back of his shirt and his jeans with tiny drops.

Hoseok hissed and turned around, staring at the giggling Hyungwon.

_That asshole._

“Try doing that again,” he whispered such that the other could hear it perfectly.

The younger man's eyes widened shortly, an immediate reaction to Hoseok’s gaze and he stepped a little further into the water. The white teeth settled on the plump lower lip as the leg lifted again, foot pulling through the water without leaving it, sliding from side to side.

“Of course, Mr. Shin,” Hyungwon whispered back before lifting his foot suddenly and covering the front of Hoseok’s shirt with drops, cold sensation sudden against his skin.

Something short circuited as Hoseok was still smart enough to take his shirt off and throw it on the sand along with his wallet before moving fast like a tiger, grabbing the other man's body bridal style, walking into the water until it was a little over the knee and dropping it into the sea.

Hyungwon yelped, attempting to hold onto his shoulders, scratching along his arms as he moved below the surface. A few seconds passed before the brown-haired reappeared, hair wet and sticking to his skin, eyes dark and lips parted. Not hesitating the young man jumped on top of him, arms firm around his neck, pushing both of them into the water, ripping the surface and completely soaking their clothes.

The water covered him and it felt so calm suddenly before the lack of oxygen burned his lungs and he was forced to come up, gasping loudly and lifting Hyungwon with him, still attached to his neck.

_You're mental._

A couple of harsh breaths left his parted mouth and he walked further into the water, deciding that it didn't matter anymore anyway, nothing mattered. The younger man kept his arms tight around Hoseok’s firm neck, jumping up to curl his long legs around his hips and burying the pretty face against the naked shoulders, plump lips pressed to the skin below his ear. It felt really intense somehow, the wet clothes and the slim body, warmth transcending through the soaked fabric.

“You're driving me nuts,” Hoseok whispered, overwhelmed by all the sensory input. He stopped when the water reached his hips, curling his arms around the thin waist. The slim body tightened around him and a kiss was placed to his neck, a warm hand sinking into his hair, intertwining with the strands.

“The feeling is mutual,” the younger man breathed into his ear, licking over the earlobe.

_For fuck’s sake._

Hoseok sucked in air, holding it in for a couple of seconds and releasing it again. The proximity felt so good and it wasn't only because of the constant teasing. He pressed his lips against the warm neck, not leaving the spot and breathing harshly. The legs at his back pressed together, lifting the younger man further up as he licked along Hoseok’s ear shell and leaned back, lips parted and eyes wide, gaze impossibly infatuated, eye colour equal to that of the sea, appearing as dark as the waves at night.

The expression looked so affected, he wasn't able to do anything but stare at the parted lips for what felt like an eternity.

_What the fuck is this, Hoseok?_

He leaned in and closed the distance, pressing his lips against the plump, parted ones, increasing the strength with which he had been holding the body up, pulling the beautiful man closer, if that was even possible at that point.

Hyungwon whimpered into his mouth, burying his fingers further in the black hair and pulling to increase friction, other hand scratching along Hoseok’s naked back. The actions appeared desperate, like the younger man felt overwhelmed, not in control of his desires.

_As if you are._

He licked inside the parted mouth, tasting salt mixed with Hyungwon’s own scent, breathing pattern increasing and sensory input overwhelming. Loosening the grip he stroked over the clothed back, wet fabric sticking to the skin and moved his hands over the thighs, mostly covered by water. A sudden wave brushed against them, water covering their chests for a few seconds and causing Hyungwon to gasp into his mouth, hands digging almost painfully into his shoulders.

“Why are you so intense?” It had been a rhetorical question, meaningless and without a definite answer. Just him trying to express what was going on and led by the wish to find an excuse for what he was doing.

_You know that there is none._

“You are setting everything on fire, Hoseok,” the young man whispered against his lips, light touch remaining even while he spoke. “It's like electricity running through my veins and letting my heart thump in my ears.”

_Adrenaline._

He sank his teeth into the bottom lip, not really caring about the reason for the other man's response, just tasting and basking in it as long as it lasted.

“I'll enjoy it as long as it burns,” he whispered against the hot mouth as the air in his lungs got less and his arms curled tighter around the slim body, waves hitting against them.

The desperation in the other man's actions was overwhelming, kiss deepening with the way the plump lips attached to his, desire to taste more, to feel more imminent and expressed openly. Hyungwon's lower body pressed against him, a soft moan leaving through the parted lips at the action and fingers pulling his hair. The stab of pain, pleasure of the kiss and the way the beautiful man pressed against him mixed with the way the cold water brushed their burning bodies, robbing him of his sense of reality, situation surreal.

_Fuck. You're probably dreaming all this._

Another wave crashed against their bodies, water dripping and flowing down his naked skin.

_You're not._

***

Shin Hoseok was fascinating no matter how much Hyungwon desired to convince himself otherwise. Throughout the whole congress day his gaze kept shifting to the other man, watching the way he held himself in conversation, what presence he built in front of other people and even how he pronounced his words.

Hyungwon went as far as focusing on him when his superior wasn't in the process of talking to someone else, eyeing the broad body and intense gaze, intimidating to everybody whom the older man desired to intimidate. The gestures grabbed his attention, every little snippet of information that was muttered in conversation saved in his brain even without trying to do so. He could have written a novel on Hoseok’s behavior and the impression he made at the congress on over a hundred pages.

_He's amazing, Hyungwon. You can learn so fucking much._

The older man was taking up all of his attention to such a degree that it was rather frustrating when Hyungwon didn't enjoy his undivided attention, forced to share with random company owners and entrepreneurs from the rest of the world that Hyungwon just couldn't get himself to be interested in. The best moment had been the short crash course that Hoseok had put him through, freezing the blood in his veins with terror at not being able to answer and overwhelmed by the other’s competence.

Maybe the desire to learn more through Hoseok’s input was the reason for the slight frustration he felt at the random woman attempting to get into his bosses pants. They didn't have much time and the flirting was simply shameless considering they were in public and working.

_Rile him up, show him what you can do._

So Hyungwon did, whispering lewd things in his ear during the talks and hoping to see a reaction. But the older man was too controlled, ignoring him and merely calling him a ‘pretty boy’, something that evoked a pleasant warmth that moved down his body, smoldering but not quite burning yet.

The lack of reaction and the warmth must have been the reason to provoke the older man further in the elevator, keeping him from seeing the thirsty woman by proposing something else strategically and opening up about his own concerns on the way to the beach bar without a second thought.

_You never open up just like that, Hyungwon. Why did you immediately empty a bucket of your concerns on his head? They must seem childish to him, just like everything else._

Drinking his yellow mojito, loving the additional taste of lemon, he felt surprised by the speed with which Hoseok changed his mood, open conversation stalling and body leaning back, eyes closed.

Hyungwon had acted on a wish, touching the other man and massaging his shoulders. There were no sexual intentions involved, just the desire to calm Hoseok down, to relax his body and to be close to him. It was basic.

However it didn't help, massage not removing the melancholic atmosphere which was only fuelled as soon as the attractive older man took off his chucks and entered the water, steps calm and distant. The view sent a shiver down Hyungwon’s spine, joining the other man but feeling lost with the inability to get through the fog of indifference.

_You have to do something. Make him care._

He followed, hissing at the cold sensation of the water and doing the only thing he could imagine being effective, riling the other man up by lifting his leg quickly, tiny drops of water landing all over the muscular chest, soaking the fabric and a few single ones on the tight jeans, framing the firm butt. Hyungwon giggled loudly, almost bending in half at the hilarity of the whole situation.

_You constantly rile him up because of your inability to deal with lack of attention._

The response was slow but impactful, Hoseok turning towards him, eyes the most dangerous Hyungwon had experienced them yet. Goosebumps began spreading along his skin that had nothing to do with the cold water against his feet.

“Try doing that again,” the older man whispered, sound carrying over the water and sending shivers down Hyungwon’s spine, body freezing in place but excitement rising with each second.

_What will happen if you do it again?_

He teased, naked foot gliding over the smooth surface of the water, back and forth in a calming motion as he used the older man's last name on purpose. The blood was rushing to his head, loud enough to let the sound of the waves fade out. It felt like time stood still when he lifted his foot and covered the other man's front with water, soaking the t-shirt and the jeans, dangerous gaze intensifying.

Something broke in the melancholic atmosphere as Hoseok threw his shirt and wallet to the beach so quickly that Hyungwon barely realized. His body was lifted in the air suddenly, strong warm arms around him before he was dropped into the cold water, shock immediate and stealing his breath.

He didn't know what possessed him but it must have been the wish for revenge, curling his arms around the strong neck and throwing the two of them back into the water. The situation was crazy, perceptions singling out the other man's skin against his as soon as he felt more water around him, legs curled around Hoseok’s waist. Every coherent thought disappeared, body drowning in the feeling and mainly desiring to be closer to the black-haired man.

He melted against the hot skin, overwhelmed by the way his thoughts focused on Hoseok alone and the way the waves felt combined with the pale hands of the beautiful man. They exchanged words but they didn't do the feelings any justice, hands and mouth attempting to answer instead.

Hyungwon lifted his head to glance at the other man's face, wishing to see if the way he felt was reflected on the mesmerizing face, to feel the undivided attention he had desired so much. Hoseok stared at him in an impossibly intense way and so genuinely observing, jumping from his lips to his eyes. The gaze was so deep he had the feeling of drowning in it.

_Take it while you can, Hyungwon. It must be an exception._

It felt like slow motion. The expression came closer as every thump of his heart sounded louder than the last, breath remaining prisoner in his lungs until the curved lips pressed against his, body set on fire like a match. The strong arms curled around him, pressing him as close as possible, tongue licking inside his mouth. It felt amazing, like a sensation that wasn't meant to end, repeating endlessly until death.

_Like a drug. It’s like a high._

It seemed as if Hoseok was breathing him, licking over his lips and kissing every inch of the salty skin, arms roaming under his soaked shirt and gasping inside his mouth. The perceptions were so breathtaking that Hyungwon desired to melt at the touch, to engrave it permanently in his skin and to become one with the other man.

_Why are you so infatuated, Hyungwon?_

He didn't know but it must have been the situation. They were in a different country, in close proximity and unable to stay away from each other. In addition he wasn't supposed to be close to his superior. All of these factors added up, turning it into an exhilarating experience. One he wished to keep forever. Or as long as it lasted.

He moaned into the kisses and sucked at the older man's lower lip, pulling at the black hair and attempting to get more warmth into his freezing skin. The pale body was like burning coal against him, in direct contrast to the ice cold waves hitting his back. It felt like he was the window glass on a winter day, the shield between the heat inside and cold outside.

“I know I'm not dreaming but this feels crazy,” the low voice gasped against his lips, forehead pressing against his. Hyungwon tightened his legs and let his free hand move over the wet shoulders, other still pulling the hair.

“Just don't let go,” he murmured and placed kisses on the beautiful face, a cheek, the nose, the neck and eventually the forehead before melting into a proper kiss again.

“I'm afraid that I will have to eventually. You're freezing.” The other man broke the kiss, pressing Hyungwon’s body flush against himself.

Hyungwon paused his ministrations, keeping his lips attached to the jugular, blood thumping under his lips. He tried to become aware of his own body, cold sinking into his limbs without mercy and causing shivers that weren't related to the burning in his chest.

“Please don't let me go, Hoseok,” he whispered desperately, fearing that the distance and melancholy would return as soon as their bodies weren't connected anymore. He used strength to remain attached, breathing heavily and nails sinking into the sensitive skin.

He felt the warm breath against his neck as the other man buried his head in the crook of his shoulder.

“We have to get you warm again.” The muscular body turned and walked out of the water slowly. Hyungwon curled up in the strong hold and breathed in the intoxicating smell of sea and coffee, skin salty where his plump lips pressed against it.

Hoseok pulled him down, feet touching the sand before warm palms pulled the wet fabric over his head, exposing the naked chest. He wrung out the shirt before looking up at him, gaze intense. He felt how the dark eyes were sliding along his upper body. Hyungwon bit his lower lip, arousal patiently growing in his lower body, immediately responding to the almost black eyes.

Unable to resist he pulled the older man closer by the waistband of his wet jeans, kissing the curved mouth and gasping at the way it felt. Hoseok groaned, curling his arms around his waist and pressing the lower body against him.

“Fuck, why do you keep driving me nuts, Hyungwon?”

_He has no idea what effect he has on you._

Hyungwon moaned at the contact and felt the arousal spiking up, intensity of their kiss in the water making way for the familiar desire for pleasure. The scene of the beach and the darkness, minimal moonlight covering the white skin added to the surreal perception. It didn't feel real, Hoseok was right.

“I want you,” he whispered into the sweet ear before licking along the shell. His ripped jeans were unpleasant again his smooth skin but the contact to the other man's body made up for it. Each finger that touched him felt like a candle burning him, breathing difficult and lips parted.

“I want you too. You make me want you so fucking much. Let's go back. We need to get you warm,” the other gasped into his mouth before leaning down and pulling a dry shirt over his upper body, eyes intense.

Hyungwon felt overwhelmed, fabric warm against his freezing skin and smelling so much like the older man. The intensive scent of coffee and cake filled his nostrils, numbing the smell of sea and calming him. He felt so small and taken care off, more vulnerable than he was, pale skin giving additional warmth.

Taking a deep breath he attempted to calm the arousal and nodded, teeth chewing on his lower lip and body unwilling to part from the older man's, thighs brushing against each other and sending pleasuring shivers through his legs.

The warm hands left him and covered the muscular chest with his wet black shirt, seeming so impossibly tight over the toned muscles. Hoseok slipped into the shoes and waited for him to follow. Hyungwon did, quickly, forcing his feet into the socks and chucks before moving after the older man, unsure how to act and keep his distance. He didn't want to.

_Just touch him._

Hesitating a few more seconds he curled his arm around the firm bicep, matching the rhythm of their steps. It was rather empty considering the fact that they were in Tel Aviv. Hyungwon had been told that the city never slept but only a lone couple and a few young men, smoking together, were on the streets. No one seemed to care much about two men being completely soaked in the middle of the night.

_Why would they? Only you know how crazy the whole thing is._

Hoseok just walked towards the hotel, hands stuck in the pockets of his soaked jeans, looking at the street in front of himself. They reached the building in a couple of minutes and the other man turned to him, glancing at Hyungwon’s arm around him.

_Are you stupid, Hyungwon? You're here for work._

He let go immediately, embarrassed by his infatuated behaviour that he couldn't pinpoint the source of. He bit his lip and walked through the doors, ignoring the mustering gazes of the security and pressing the elevator button. The wish to take out his room card led to the realization that Hoseok had thrown him into the water including the wallet, money most likely soaked and card possibly demagnetized.

_Why are you so out of it, Hyungwon?_

“Are you still cold?” Hoseok asked, mustering him intently. “You should probably take a hot shower.” The older man walked into the elevator, back straight as if it was normal to be completely soaked, confidence overflowing. Hyungwon envied him for the ability.

He stood soaked in the elevator with a dry t-shirt and felt uncomfortable. He was cold but it was survivable. His desire to be closer to the older man was stronger, black shirt tight on the muscular body and sending pleasant sparks through his body.

“I think you can do a better job than the shower, Hoseok.”

The black hair was soaked and hung down into the dark eyes, adding so much contrast to the pale skin and the blood red lips. Hoseok lifted an eyebrow and pressed the button, watching how the doors closed. Hyungwon couldn't read him, not at all. He chewed on his lower lip and breathed in, leaning against the railing and watching how the drops from his hair covered the floor.

The other man licked his lips and waited patiently for the elevator to arrive, stepping out like always, without looking back at him and walking towards the door, sliding the card through the lock easily.

_You have to act or he’ll distance himself._

Hyungwon stepped through the door and threw it closed, before attaching himself to the older man, harsh enough to have his back hit the cupboard. Closing the distance between their lips he pushed his leg in between the thick thighs and applied pressure, moaning at the sensation.

The other gasped and grabbed his shoulders, pushing him away a little, gaze resting on his face.

“You're fucking freezing, get rid of the wet clothes. You need a hot shower and so do I. Want to go first?”

Hyungwon needed exactly two seconds to make a bad decision he might have regretted the next day.

“Join me,” he whispered as he stepped away and pulled the shirt over his head. Throwing it to the ground he licked over his lips, letting his palms run over the smooth skin of his chest and abdomen before slipping under the waistband and unbuttoning the jeans.

An eyebrow lifted again as Hoseok observed the whole show with interest, hands digging into the brown wood and pink tongue licking over the curled lips.

“You want me to shower with you?”

Swallowing Hyungwon undid the zipper and pulled the jeans down his long legs. Taking off the chucks and socks he threw all articles of clothing to the ground.

“Give me five minutes and join me,” he murmured, stark naked and stepping closer to Hoseok, leaving a kiss on the curved mouth, hand stroking along the jaw before he re-established the distance and disappeared in the bathroom.

Hoseok had been right. Standing alone next to the sink the cold seeped through his whole body until the fingertips, shivers hitting him full force. The excitement was still there, heart beating furiously at the fear that Hoseok might decide not to join him in the end, staying professional instead. The thought was frustrating, a confirmation that the older man wasn't as affected as Hyungwon was.

_But he reacts and asked you why you are so intense. There has to be something._

Hyungwon stepped under the hot spray of water and almost moaned, body heating up quickly and returning his ability to think properly.

Just that it didn't change anything about the fact that he wanted Hoseok.

He cleaned up thoroughly, preparing himself, body burning and breathing pattern changing even without the presence of the other man. Finishing up he attempted to calm down a little, leaning his back against the shower wall and enjoying the water droplets on his face, eyes closed.

_Wouldn't it be embarrassing to wait if he decides not to join?_

Hyungwon exhaled and let his fingers travel along his chest, distracting himself from the passing time with the light sensation.

The door opened and Hoseok walked in, still fully dressed, and placed something on the sink before the older man stopped in front of the shower, looking through the glass. The t-shirt flew to the ground and he got rid of the soaked pants, opening the shower door and stepping inside.

“I really need a hot shower.” The incredibly attractive man came closer, holding his head under the warm water, letting it run down his face.

_He’s giving you whiplash, Hyungwon. The body is saying yes but the words are saying no._

Hoseok was hot, muscles bulging with the way he lifted his arms and brushed through the black hair, drops running down the sculptured abs, covering the firm thighs and dripping down from the attractive dick. Hyungwon swallowed at the sight, pressing himself further against the wall to give the older man space before he couldn't help it anymore, long fingers running over a muscular shoulder and the wet back, drawing patterns.

“You’re gorgeous,” Hyungwon murmured and curled his arms around the shoulders from the side, erection pressing into the older man's hip, lips brushing the jaw.

A low chuckle left the curled lips as the muscular man turned around, pinning Hyungwon against the shower wall immediately, hips pushing against him and mouth so fucking close, breathing hot air against his lips, water flowing between their bodies.

“Don't know how you manage to rile me up. I'm not someone who gets crazy over young, pretty boys.”

Hyungwon bit his lip, feeling how his blood rushed south at the words, obvious to the older man who must have felt it with his own hips. It was so incredibly hot, everything about Hoseok. The way he spoke, the way he acted, the way he didn't care unless Hyungwon put in immense effort. It was attractive and addicting, desire to achieve the same intrigued and aroused gaze as he had before unquenchable.

“Maybe because I'm not that innocent,” Hyungwon replied, whispering against the curved lips and rolling his hips into the other man's.

“I don't care about innocence either.” Hoseok grinned before letting a hand travel around his neck and sliding it through his wet hair. “I'll figure it out. Or you could also stop, would be easier. Why are you making it so hard on purpose, mhm?”

_How is he always so controlled while you lose your fucking mind?_

_The dominance is what drives you mad._

“Because I want you and I'm rather stubborn,” Hyungwon replied, voice breathy from the tingling sensation that spread from Hoseok’s fingers in his hair. He let one hand slide down the muscular chest and abs before tightening the fingers around the gorgeous erection, thumb playing with the tip and attempting to make the older man loosen up a little, show less control.

A gasp left the beautiful lips as Hoseok leaned closer and exhaled roughly against his ear.

“But you had me yesterday, aren't you being greedy there?” the low voice almost whispered.

_Are you, Hyungwon? Would that be greedy?_

He didn't care. If there was a response it couldn't be his desire alone.

“Don't you want me too? Is it considered greedy in that case?” he asked back and created a tight ring with his index finger and thumb, using it to stroke the older man's erection painfully slowly. Hyungwon loved how it felt in his hand, almost moaning at the sensation alone although he wasn't being stimulated at all.

“I'm standing in the shower with you instead of working out which is a very important part of my routine, so I guess I might want you too.” The curled lips pressed against his neck, teeth sinking into the soft skin of his shoulder and gasping against it.

Hyungwon hissed at the slight pain, but his dick twitched, betraying him and how much he loved rough treatment, basking in the mixture of intense pleasure and light pain.

_Just be happy he didn't praise you yet._

_Or not._

“You were less talk and more action yesterday, Mr. Shin,” he gasped, intending to tease but his voice sounded more wrecked than he had anticipated, body burning at the touches and lifting his leg to rub the smooth thigh over Hoseok’s muscular one.

“You liked it more? Sorry, you might need to find someone else then.” The other man chuckled and pressed him against the wall with force, warm fingers stroking along his side.

The air left Hyungwon's lungs suddenly, gasping at the push and throwing his head back at the same time because he liked it more than he should have. Biting down on his lower lip he glanced back down, meeting the intense gaze and moaning softly. As the words finally registered he shook his head quickly and lifted his leg further, narrowing around the firm hips.

The other sunk the beautiful white teeth into his lower lip, licked along his neck and chest, sucking on a nipple and leaving small bite marks all over his skin. They were going to stay and Hyungwon loved it, having a reminder that his boss found him genuinely attractive despite constant denial and claiming that he would remain unbothered.

The sinful mouth travelled further south, biting and licking along his thighs, iron grip around his hips sending additional spikes through his body. Hyungwon moaned, impatient to feel more and loving how lips felt against his skin, marks that the white teeth left behind beautiful against the golden colour. He intertwined his fingers with the black strands and pulled depending on the intensity of the arousal he felt, gasps frequent and low.

“Shit, I love it when you mark me.”

The other man groaned and lifted his gaze for a second.

“You look even prettier with all those marks on your body.”

“I thought you didn't like pretty boys,” Hyungwon gasped and a grin spread over his lips, pulling the black strands with more strength. Hoseok’s expressions were fascinating, so different but equally controlled as his professional self.

“I don't. It's not nearly enough to get anything from me.” The other man placed the right index finger in front of the red mouth, licking over it, before taking Hyungwon’s erection between the warm lips, coated finger pressing against his entrance at the same time, sliding in smoothly.

_Holy shit he's fast._

Hyungwon moaned and threw his head against the shower wall, overwhelmed by the way the older man needed less than a second to find the spot and how the curved mouth looked around his erection, black hair sticking to the face as drops ran down the handsome chin. Instead of pulling the hair he pushed Hoseok closer, wanting to feel more while lifting his left leg and placing it on a muscular shoulder, improving the angle even further.

“Fuck, you're thorough,” he murmured and couldn't help the way his head hit the shower again, pain numbing the pleasure for a few seconds.

The red lips released his erection for a short moment, enough to take a deep breath.

“I just try not to do anything I know I'll suck at. If you already got me here with all the obvious teasing you should get treated nicely, don't you think?” The gaze was intense and the mouth spread in a grin before the older man pushed a second finger in, watching his reaction.

Hyungwon could feel how this body was still rather roughed up from the day before but as soon as both digits pushed precisely against the sensitive spot inside of him the pain was absolutely irrelevant. He moaned loudly and attempted to hold onto something with his free hand that wasn't Hoseok’s hair, scratching along the wall. He nodded furiously, hoping he would get more ‘nice treatment ‘, preferably including the other man's dick inside of him.

Hoseok continued licking around his tip, tongue precise and teasing, just like the fingers inside him.

“I really want to fuck you, what a mess.” The attractive man moaned against his erection before removing his fingers and standing up abruptly. “Now.”

_Wow._

Hyungwon's eyes widened as the long leg left the broad shoulder, warm water repeatedly hitting his skin and aiding him in forgetting how good the fingers had felt inside of his body.

Just that he didn't want to forget. At all.

He whined and pulled at the black hair again to get the other man closer to his body, disliking the emptiness and wishing to fill it with bodily contact if there was nothing else the older man was offering him.

The shower door opened and Hoseok stepped out, closing it behind himself. The drops and fog didn't let him see what the other man was doing outside, before he came back, wearing a condom and lube spread over the huge erection.

It happened so fast, he didn't realize how his body was basically lifted as if it was weightless, warm lubed tip pressing against his entrance, back flush against the shower wall, while Hoseok’s mouth breathed mere centimetres from his. The eyes were almost black, strong hands lifting and sinking his hips only a centimetre, pressure increasing and dissipating in succession.

_Holy fucking shit._

Hyungwon wasn't even sure if he could have said ‘no’ in the time it took the older man to put him in position and control his movements to the fullest. He loved it. He loved it so much that he scratched over the pale skin with his nails, lips closing around the closest patch to keep himself from moaning too loudly. Hoseok was obviously teasing him, not giving him the pleasure of feeling it all, playing with his reactions.

“Oh my fucking god,” he muttered and bit into the skin, harsh enough to bruise, unsure what else to do for his defence, desire to feel more almost suffocating him.

“You know that I want you, so be a good boy and tell me how much you want me,” the low voice breathed into his face, small smirk playing around the red lips. Hyungwon's erection twitched at the praise and he let go of the bruised skin, biting his lip and attempting to make the other man move like that, pressing his body down by holding onto the shoulders.

_Don't give up just cause he called you a good boy._

“I love how stubborn you are, makes me want to break it.“ The gaze was focused on his eyes, piercing through him, intensity overwhelming and so different from the way the other held himself while working or talking to other people. Hyungwon inhaled sharply, unable to exhale with the way the black orbs ate him up, taking away every possibility to resist. It reminded him of the way Hoseok had stared at him in the water, daring him to repeat his teasing action.

_But will he do if you don't succumb?_

“Then break it,” he whispered back, voice low and body strained, calling him stupid for pushing off pleasure. Licking over his lips he stared back, immediately affected by the older man's attractiveness and inherent dominance.

“Not sure if I should bother.” The teeth bit into the lower lip, letting Hyungwon sink a little bit lower, pressure increasing.

“I think you should,” Hyungwon replied, contracting around the erection inside of him and moaning into the older man's face at the way it felt, using the grip of his legs around Hoseok’s hips to roll his own, adding pleasure.

“Mhm, you're right.“ The muscular arms loosened the iron grip on his hips, letting him slide down the whole length slowly.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, Hoseok,” Hyungwon moaned, resembling a prayer and increasing his hold on the gorgeous man, body burning at the sensation. He had completely forgotten how it felt, fully held by the muscular man and dependent on his desire to please him. It was overwhelming and felt impossibly full, no preparation ever sufficient to bridge the slight burn. “God, you're huge, but fuck.”

_How the fuck are you supposed to return to less stimulating sex after this? They'll have to feed all your kinks that you didn't even know about, to compete, Hyungwon._

The gorgeous man moaned at the mention of his name, moving back and thrusting up, using the grip to roll his hips, resulting in a better angle. Hyungwon groaned into the older man's face, lips only a few millimetres apart and bit his lip, pleasure soaring through his body without a break, like an explosion stemming from his lower body and numbing everything else.

“Again,” he gasped and threw his head back, anticipating another thrust and preparing himself to lose his feeling of reality for another few seconds.

“How can I refuse if you're being so good to me? Fuck.” Hoseok repeated the motion, slamming into him roughly, biting into his shoulder in the process and moaning at almost every movement. Hyungwon screamed at the way the older man thrust inside of him, motion rough and stimulating just the right way to set his body on fire, tingling spreading through his legs which he tightened with force, hands desperate and continuously leaving marks along the shoulders and chest.

“Yes, yes, yes, just like that,” Hyungwon babbled and felt the familiar pain of the shower wall, body loving the rough treatment and all the sensations he basked in and partially hadn't even known he enjoyed. “Fuck me up, Hoseok. I love it so much when you're rough with me.”

He felt delirious although he knew exactly that he hadn't received the full treatment yet, mind constantly desiring to scream in the way he had the day before, unaware and unable to help it. The whole experience was so much more intense than sex usually was for him, each detail engraved into his mind. The colour of the skin, the way the arms felt on his thighs, holding him up. The way the black hair looked, soaked by the water and the way the curved lips parted at the pleasure the older man felt. Because of him.

Hoseok lifted him, moving a little further away from the wall and dropping him down on his erection, hips still held in a firm grip, only loosening if it was required for a specific movement. Hyungwon's vision turned white for a few seconds, pleasure almost ripping his consciousness from his body as he screamed and threw his head from side to side, lips parted and releasing moans at every motion. It was so fucking intense. The older man hadn't lied about fucking him while standing.

“You're so fucking strong, fuck. I love how you play with me.”

“Let me play you some more.” His superior pulled out, loosening the grip and letting his feet touch the floor. “Turn around.”

Hyungwon did, breathing heavily and already missing the fullness. He placed his palms flat against the shower wall and closed his eyes for a few seconds to suppress the desire to beg the older man to hurry up or something  similarly embarrassing. He shifted and spread his legs, adjusting to their height difference.

It was quiet until he felt the hot tip against his ass while Hoseok was breathing harshly.

“God, you're so fucking hot,” the low voice breathed out before the other man pushed himself in, filling him up. Hyungwon gave up, hands shivering against the tiles and body burning from anticipation and undisclosed desires. He tried to push against the other man's hips and hissed, trying to go against the strong grip.

“Please,” he whispered, barely audible and voice hoarse from screaming. He wished Hoseok wouldn't hear it and at the same time he wanted him to, so he could act on it and drive him mad.

“Say it again.” The fingers tightened around his hips. Hoseok didn't move an inch, staying inside him but doing nothing more.

Torture. It was torture. Had Hyungwon not said anything the older man would have graced him with what he wanted, without desiring to hear him beg. But it was too late now. His body burned in anticipation and screamed at him to just do whatever and keep the fullness, adding motion and thereby pleasure. Hyungwon wanted to melt and be completely taken over by the other man until orgasm freed him like bliss.

“Please,” Hyungwon whispered again, a little louder and hips shifting, heavy breaths leaving his parted lips. “Please, Hoseok.”

The hips moved back and he was graced with a rough thrust, the other man trying to hit precisely, moaning in the low voice, sexual attraction seeping through every single sound. It was like a blackout just that everything remained perfectly present and clear, only the body itself and the mind unable to act, numbed by pleasure.

Hyungwon screamed the older man's name, unable to help himself and pushing against the harsh movement, whole body convulsing with each thrust. It felt amazing and beyond everything he had experienced before.

“Fuck, Hoseok, please do it again. Fucking please, my whole body is on fire,” he muttered and felt delirious, wishing for nothing more than the pleasure to peek and take his breath away.

Hoseok went all out, slamming into him, trying out different angles and being unusually affected, moans and curses leaving the other man's mouth, his name also appearing between the arousing sounds. It was overwhelming, no coherent thought remaining in his brain as the coil in his lower body kept tightening, screams leaving his mouth without a break and each thrust causing his body to tighten around the older man. Once Hoseok hit particularly well his legs almost gave out, knees bending and forcing the other man to slip out. He whined and leaned his head against the tiles, breathless and impossibly turned on.

“I want to see your face when you come.” Hoseok breathed out, turning him around and going straight for his lips, licking inside his mouth, breaths fast and irregular, giving out the other man's state in an instant.

_It's you. You're doing this to him, Hyungwon. He loves it more than he dares to admit._

He pressed his slim body into the muscular one and raked his hands through the black hair, pulling it while moaning inside the curved mouth, desperate for more contact as his erection rubbed against the firm thigh, more provoking than pleasant.

“I want you so fucking much, Hoseok. It's mental.”

“It is.” A short exhale followed before strong hands lifted his body again and Hoseok pushed himself in, pressing him against the wall and rearranging his arms such that Hyungwon’s legs were hanging over them.

“Touch yourself for me.”

_Shit._

Hyungwon closed his eyes for a few seconds to not be overwhelmed by the sight, by the way the gorgeous erection disappeared inside of him as the gaze in Hoseok’s eyes changed, affected by the way it felt. He had never enjoyed staring at another person during sex before, but something about Hoseok’s reactions and movements fascinated him, made him desire to learn more, to experience it, to gain his undivided attention.

Hyungwon moaned and let long fingers slide over his chest and along his inner thigh, teasing himself just as the older man moved inside of him, combined sensations close to the materialization of euphoria. Biting down on his lip he finally curled the hand around his erection and gave it a few experimental tugs, focusing on the combination of perceptions, mouth opening in a loud moan.

“You're being such a good boy for me. It's driving me nuts,” Hoseok groaned while slamming his hips into him, holding his body up in the air, the amount of strength incredible. The black hair stuck to the pale forehead, blood red lips parted and pants fast. The burning in his groin only increased, rough motions fuelling the electricity-like pleasure and praise going straight to his dick. Hyungwon sped up the strokes of his hand, unwilling to tease himself any longer and body begging for release.

“Shit, I love it when you fuck me, Hoseok,” he moaned, quickly followed by a scream once the other man found a particularly nice angle, which he shamelessly kept up. Hyungwon's low voice echoed in the shower, easily overcoming the noise of the water hitting the ground, screams spilling from the lips without a break. He was close, really close, body tensing up.

“Come for me, babe.” The low groan was accompanied by the intense gaze, eating him up, hungry and impatient. The combination threw Hyungwon over the edge, body convulsing and tightening around the other man. His free hand bruised the muscular shoulder as the other stroked him through the aftermath, head thrown back and a scream of the older man's name leaving his lips. Little dots of light danced in front of his eyes as the water cleaned over their bodies and Hyungwon's hand, visual perception surreal and changed by the intense pleasure that soared through him.

“Fuck me until you come, Hoseok,” Hyungwon murmured, unwilling to have the older man leave his body despite oversensitivity.

The strong arms pressed him closer as Hoseok continued the fast, precise movements, breathing quick and rough. A minute or more must've passed as the other man's body tensed impossibly, hands pressing his body down and releasing himself with a loud moan, lips parted and head thrown back, before the other pressed it against his shoulder right after. The sight was overwhelming, much better than the last time as Hyungwon hadn't been able to see what Hoseok looked like when he came. It was beautiful and a sight he would have loved to repeat.

_If he'll let you._

Curling his arms around the broad neck Hyungwon stroked through the wet black hair and struggled against the burning sensation that fought its way back into his awareness. Body already sore from the day before and rough sex only adding up to the feeling. Luckily the lube had been waterproof and kept doing its job.

_Don't let it get awkward although you let your boss fuck you again, Hyungwon._

It needed a mere minute for the older man to fully regain his ability to speak and pull out, letting him go until his feet touched the tiles. There was no comment as Hoseok just walked out of the shower.

Well, that was quick.

Hyungwon felt shaky, leaning against the shower wall immediately to not sink down, throbbing turning into an unpleasant burning as he glanced upwards, letting the water hit his face and return his awareness. He couldn't feel his legs except for the slight pain and hoped that would change while soaking the next minutes.

_You're an idiot, Hyungwon._

The door opened and the other man stepped inside, curling the strong arms around his body and breathing against his neck. Hyungwon gasped at the sudden action, contact unexpected and hugged back, distributing his weight such that most rested on Hoseok.

“That might have been a little too much,” the low voice whispered into his ear holding his weight in place. Hyungwon shook his head, biting down on his lower lip and hoping that his following words would become the truth soon.

“It's fine. I'll be alright,” he whispered in reply, water almost overpowering the sound. His voice was rougher than he had thought. “It felt amazing.”

“I should've paid more attention but I just went nuts instead. Sorry about that.” The older man leaned back, brushing a strand of the brown hair behind his ear. “Won't happen again.”

_Too bad._

Hyungwon bit his lip harshly, chewing it as he brushed the pale skin with his nose, inhaling and closing his eyes for a few seconds, enjoying the proximity while it lasted before the other man would consider it superfluous to hug him.

“I like it when you go nuts. You know the main mistake lies with me. I should have considered yesterday.” Leaning his head against the shower wall, eyes still shut, he focused on the way the drops felt on his face, a little colder than his body temperature, face burning from the previous arousal. “I love rough sex and asked you to, so don't apologize.”

Hoseok hummed and placed a short kiss on his lips. It felt stupid but his heart beat faster at the affection. It was more than he had received before and accompanied by the constant worry that the older man would turn around and leave him with his unnecessary need for body contact. He pulled Hoseok closer to receive another kiss, eyes remaining open to see the reaction.

The handsome face came closer, small smile playing around the corners of the curved mouth, before a hand raked through his hair and the hot lips pressed against his again. Hyungwon gasped, unable to help it and closed his eyes, focusing on the way it felt. The lips were warm, scent of coffee filling his nose and taste of yellow mojito remaining on the skilful tongue. Each lick sent an electrifying sensation through his limbs, not necessarily arousal but rather resembling euphoria, genuine happiness at the ability to experience it.

The warm hand left his hair and slid along his spine, while the older man leaned back, watching him intensively.

“Did you do your shower routine? I still need to wash.” Hoseok turned around and grabbed the bottle of shampoo standing on the metal shelf. His eyes slid down the naked back and the defined muscles until they reached the firm ass, black ink gracing the pale skin right above it. It was a tattoo, the exact same one that Hyungwon had.

_He must have gotten it at the same place. The style is exactly the same._

Hyungwon stretched out his fingers, brushing along the skin and following the black lines of the letter, sucking in a breath.

“I was too busy staring into nothing and remembering my name,” he replied to the previous question while mustering the detailed work. It was really the same, like mirrored on the older man's back.

“Did you just see it? We seem to have the same one. It's funny, isn't it?” Hoseok didn't turn around and continued washing his hair, massaging the scalp while the water ran over their bodies continuously.

Hyungwon hummed and only reluctantly removed his fingers, grabbing the shampoo as well and cleaning his hair thoroughly, distracting himself from teenage thoughts. Sharing a tattoo was definitely not a sign by the universe to be together and the person being one’s boss didn't merely function as a further obstacle. He laughed at himself, massaging his temples and glancing towards the way Hoseok washed out the shampoo, eyes closed and looking beautiful.

“Why did you get it?”

The older man turned around suddenly at the question, standing mere centimetres away from him and glancing up.

“To remind myself of my core interest. The way humans perceive and behave. There was additional meaning added with time, but back then that had been it.” Throwing the head back, Hoseok washed out the rest of the shampoo and grabbed the bottle with shower gel. “What's your reason?” A warm index finger slid over his tattoo, before the other man took it back and squeezed some gel on his hand.

_It’s similar._

Hyungwon had been staring at Hoseok, breath hitching at the light touch against his hip and eyes wide. Registering the question he turned away and washed out the shampoo, humming shortly to indicate that he had heard the question.

“It's rather similar I guess,” he replied and pressed his fingers along his neck, movement of his body reminding him why little lube and big dicks were a bad idea. “I wanted to remind myself of the complexity of the human psyche. Of the fact that what we see is not always all. It might be just a tiny fragment of the whole picture and we know nothing. That's why I try not to judge too hastily.”

“Exemplary,” the low voice chuckled next to him and he felt a hand on his shoulder. “I'm going out.”

There was something about the older man that constantly made him feel like a child, like he was saying something dumb. Hyungwon nodded and focused on scrubbing his body with shower gel as Hoseok left the room after drying up. The situation was complex and he couldn't help the frustration at the ambivalent behavior. He preferred to be appreciated instead of considered amusing.

_In addition you still don't know how to act right after sex. He'll probably not let you cuddle him this time._

Finishing up and drying his body Hyungwon remembered that his soaked clothes were outside and ditched the towel, walking out naked and hoping it wouldn't be awkward.

Hoseok was already lying in bed, head resting on the crossed arms behind it, arms bulging. The intensity of the gaze was insane.

_You'll never get used to it, Hyungwon. If he keeps doing it before getting you hard you'll be conditioned like a fucking pigeon._

He swallowed audibly and walked to the drawer in which he put his underwear, taking out a black pair of tight briefs and pulling them over his legs quickly, still feeling the gaze on his back. He couldn't help but feel glad at the fact that he was rather beautiful naked, skin completely smooth and with no necessity to shave or anything of the like, always in best condition.

Hyungwon sighed and turned around again, disappearing in the bathroom to brush his teeth before climbing under the blanket slowly, holding his breath.

“What's with your breathing pattern? You shouldn't be excited anymore. Or are you scared?” He felt the body shift next to him, low voice asking without any mocking undertone.

_Oh, for fuck’s sake._

Hyungwon had never had such an intensive desire to dissipate into thin air, embarrassed by his own behaviour and the fact that the older man genuinely thought he had some issue that went beyond ‘I fucked my boss and have concerns’.

“Just forgot to breathe,” he murmured and hoped it was funny or at least enough to be a sufficient answer. He pulled the blanket to his chin and took a few deep breaths, glancing to the left to examine Hoseok.

His boss lay on the side, head rested against a muscular arm. The pale face was framed by black semi wet hair, creating contrast between the features. Hoseok had still kept his hair wet after the shower. The worst thing was definitely the way the older man was staring at him.

_Dear god, why?_

Hyungwon sure as hell wasn't religious but it was getting ridiculous. His lips parted at the sight and he just stared back, unable to look away, blue eyes wide and minimal light sufficient to make out each other's features.

“And now tell me why you tried to make me crack today,” the low voice asked, lips spread into a grin.

_Fuck. He just waited for this, asking you when you can't run anywhere._

Hyungwon shifted automatically, a little uncomfortable at the question and hissed at what a dumb idea it was, pain coursing through his spine.

“Well,” he began to not be silent for too long. “You're hot.”

_You're doing amazing, sweetie._

“That may be true, but at the same time I'm the most complicated hook up choice, so what exactly made you think it was a good idea?” It was easier not to look the other man in the eyes, impact simply crazy. “I'm not saying it's your fault. I just want to know how you came to the conclusion.”

Hyungwon let his tongue slide over his lips before biting down on the lower one, staring at the ceiling intently although there was absolutely nothing there.

“We are close to each other while we are here. There is sexual attraction and proximity. I don't feel that way about anybody else here and I know you well enough to know you won't treat me like shit. It's a pleasing and safe deal, don't you think?” Hyungwon elaborated, a little worried about giving a genuine answer. “In addition your constant dominance makes me want to provoke you, to see what you'll do.” He bit his lip again, remembering the older man’s gaze when he dared him to spray water at him again.

“You want to make a deal?” The body next to him shifted and came closer, blanket not engulfing him completely anymore. “I have to work on my tolerance. You seem to be able to provoke me enough.”

His interest spiked at the words and he turned towards Hoseok, eyes immediately travelling over the uncovered skin.

“Would you be interested in a deal?” he asked, tongue licking over his lips again and eyes meeting the dark ones.

“I'm a CEO so I'm automatically interested in multi beneficial relationships. What do you want to offer and how can I profit from it? And how will you? What is the goal? What happens if it's achieved?” The questions rained down on him, curled mouth spreading in a smirk, before Hyungwon felt a warm palm resting on his hip.

Hyungwon laughed at the onslaught before hissing at the warm palm on his hip, teeth settling on his plump lower lip.

“I can offer pleasure, want pleasure in return and propose to keep this until we fly back to Paris, so another three days. Once we're back we can stop, not provoked by proximity and constrained by the fact that I'm your assistant,” he proposed, holding the dark gaze and grinning a little.

_You'll probably be fine once you're not surrounded by all those new impressions and his hot nakedness at all times._

The hand left his hip and went up, index finger placed against his lower lip.

“You're still my assistant, Hyungwon.” The digit slid along his lips, tracing the lines slowly. “You want to have sex? The three days? That's it? Is that what you're expecting from me?” The other man removed his hand.

_Will that be enough for you, Hyungwon?_

His memory returned to the constant fascination he felt while watching the other man work, listening to him talk about himself and walking along the beach, getting soaked and kissing.

_No._

“Would you be willing to offer me more during the three days? The time limit remains,” Hyungwon replied and curled his fingers around the wrist, pulling it towards his face and using it to stroke along it, plump lips placing a kiss against the warm palm.

“We're not at the part where I say what I'm willing to offer, we're still at the point where you tell me what exactly you want from me, Hyungwon.” The body shifted once again, coming closer.

_What do you want?_

“Sleep with me, spend time with me outside of schedules, be it going to a bar or whatever. That's everything I want.” Hyungwon licked his lips again and placed a kiss on the index finger of the hand that he held against his face. “Praise me maybe.”

The fingers curled around  the back of his neck, pulling him closer into the embrace, warm air hitting his lips.

“Fine. But I'll only praise you if you deserve it.”

_That's more than you hoped for._

Hyungwon gasped at the proximity, nodding quickly although it was embarrassingly eager.

“The combination of your stubbornness and the way you're so fucking eager is explosive.” Hoseok caught his lower lip with the sharp teeth, nibbling on it and licking over the upper one. Hyungwon gasped into the older man's mouth and kissed back, eyes closing.

_Just hope that he will explode and burn with you then._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look forward to how the deal will develop
> 
> Next Update on the 1st of May at 2 PM CET.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Not spilling every possible fact is a choice and not a manipulative trick. I'm not manipulating you, it would look different if I was, pretty boy.” The other dragged him closer by the hand around his wrist and leaned in. “It's not a truth or dare game on a school trip, babe. I'm giving you my time and I'm giving you my body in return for yours. You don't need to know 90% of me for that to work.”

Hoseok stood in the bathroom, looking at his own reflection and brushed his teeth after slipping out of the tight embrace of the beautiful, young man who was still sleeping, curled up on the comfortable double bed.

_Three days._

Hyungwon had suggested a deal that basically consisted of acting on mutual desires, going out and having sex for a duration of three days. The reason for consenting hadn't been because he had thought that it was a good idea, quite the contrary. It was a bad idea, not simulated and backed up by proper argumentation. However he was absolutely sure that it was the only way to somehow control the crazy dynamics.

_He'd probably rile you up and you'd end up fucking him again, even without the stupid deal._

Stepping out he slipped into his sports clothes and walked out, trying not to make any noise.

_There's still no reason to skip routine._

_

 

“You made me sad yesterday."

Amelia walked over immediately after spotting him at one of the tables. He was involved in a talk about business models and tried to explain to Hyungwon why it was important to have one. Turning around he smiled and hugged the shorter woman before answering.

“Sorry, I went to the beach and it got late. Didn't mean to make you sad.”

The pretty lips curled up and Amelia slapped his arm lightly.

“Then make up for it. Let's drink today.”

He smiled again and brushed back his hair.

“Fine, let's make it 9PM at the bar. I'm going to finish the discussion if you don't mind, see you later, Melia.” A warm palm squeezed his arm and the woman smiled at the mention of her nickname before waving shortly and disappearing in the crowd.

He turned around to Hyungwon, getting back to the topic. However the younger man frowned at him, chewing his cheek and appearing dissatisfied. The professional attitude and positive curiosity had disappeared and instead his assistant was staring at Hoseok as if he had done him dirty.

“I thought we had a deal, Mr. Shin,” the handsome man murmured, gaze remaining disapproving.

_What?_

“If you mean the one we made yesterday while lying in bed, yes, it's still legit. Why do you ask?” He lifted an eyebrow, watching the dissatisfied expression with interest.

Hyungwon sighed and rolled his eyes shortly, leaning his elbows on the table in front of them.

“I'm pretty sure it involved spending time with me outside of work events and I doubt that meeting that woman fulfils that condition,” the young man replied after checking whether anyone was listening in on their conversation, voice a little quieter.

_This is the reason why a contract is always well formulated and proof read at least thrice._

“You said that you wanted me to spend time with you, you didn't say it had to be all of my time. You also didn't say there were restrictions, so it's absolutely fine.” He smiled and leaned over, resting most of his weight on his arms which he had put on the table.

Teeth bit down on the plump lower lip as Hyungwon took a look around again before leaning closer.

“Can't we adjust the conditions? The time we have is rather limited anyway and begins at 8PM the earliest, so what other time could I have possibly meant with my words? Aren't you being nitpicky, Mr. Shin?”

_Adjusting conditions is a no go unless there's something you want._

“No. We can only adjust the conditions if there's something I also want to adjust, something I want from you, which I don't.” He smirked and caught the look in the handsome eyes. “You can try hard to make me want something you have.”

The lip bite developed further as Hyungwon chewed on his cheek, a stronger sign for nervousness before he smiled.

“We haven't specified the conditions of the sex further either, which was a plus for both of us. Therefore I am in no way required to fulfil your preferences and an adjustment from your side could change that.”

_Nice try._

“That was a good point, however I wasn't the one asking you to adjust to my preferences. You have to be very thorough when you're making deals, Hyungwon. You can end up being very dissatisfied with the outcome,” he remarked.

“I appreciate your rather thorough demonstration of deal negotiations, Mr. Shin,” Hyungwon began and glanced to the side shortly as the fingers of his left hand dug into those of the right before he became aware of it and let them disappear under the table, face and posture perfectly calm again. “But I would prefer it if you wouldn't use a deal made under rather unusual conditions.” The blue eyes were focused on him, faces relatively close and lips a little parted.

_First he wants a deal and then he tells you he was out of it._

_Right._

“You should reflect on your decision making skills. Present me the specifications in an hour. I'll think about it,” he commented and spotted an old acquaintance at the neighbouring table, gesturing at Hyungwon that he'd be back.

After a couple of minutes spent with smalltalk, he engaged in a pretty long discussion, an hour passing easily and the time to go to the next talk approaching. He thought about Hyungwon’s behaviour. Sure it must've been exciting to sleep with your boss who was more than ten years older, appearing more experienced and dominant, knowing things he didn't and emanated competence. However the whole three day deal seemed to be more than just sexual attraction as the other obviously wanted to be exclusive.

_Why? It can't be that he likes you right?_

It was very far fetched. They knew each other for a couple of weeks and the sexual attraction had been there from the start, so it must've been the reason.

_He wouldn't be that dumb to ask you for a three day relationship if he likes you. It'd just be torture after you come back. He must know that._

Hyungwon was a smart person, so he'd never do obviously stupid things like that. It must've been part of his personality to get most out of every deal, so he wanted all of his time and attention.

_You're also greedy if you want something._

That was true. He had given his consent to the deal because he was a greedy person and the way Hyungwon had thrown all of himself at him every time they were close, mixed with the stubbornness and the will to compete and to fight back, gave him the chills and made him go crazy.

_Why did you say yes though? You're not someone who just stupidly agrees to something only because it's desirable._

Because of the defined time period and because it was fun. They were in a working relationship, but it had been okay before, even after having sex. Hyungwon had worked diligently and prepared the presentation. It had just escalated because of the close proximity and the sexual tension, probably resulting out of the latter.

_You enjoy it, because it's like a game, pushing and pulling, fuelling the tension and getting rid of it, like a rollercoaster._

He took a spot in the last row, not wanting to participate in the end discussion and put his suit jacket on the chair, reserving it for Hyungwon who was supposed to come too.

Amelia walked over to him, pointing at the chair.

“Can I?” She smiled, showing the white teeth.

“Sorry, it's for my assistant. He's coming in a couple of minutes,” he answered, gesturing towards the door and smiling back.

“Can't he find a different spot?” A playful expression spread over the small face.

_She should stop being so persistent, it's getting annoying._

“No he can't. I'm working right now, Amelia, so you have to wait until evening if you want to talk.” He narrowed his gaze on the blue eyes, colour a little lighter than Hyungwon’s.

The expression changed and the woman nodded shortly before walking to the front rows.

A warm hand was placed on his shoulder as Hyungwon lifted the cloth and sat down, crossing his legs and placing Hoseok’s suit jacket on the slim thighs. The handsome young man turned towards him and grinned shortly before focusing his gaze towards the stage, little notebook and pen in hand in order to take notes.  
  
_What is he so ridiculously happy about?_   
  
Hoseok didn’t react and focused his attention on the presenter. The talk was interesting, but he couldn’t help getting involved at a point where the professor had made an obvious mistake, pointing it out and suggesting a solution that had been a more adequate choice considering the scientific accuracy.

“I am amazed by your ability to make over five people hate you within seventy seconds, Mr. Shin,” Hyungwon commented as he arranged something that suspiciously resembled Hoseok’s schedule for the next week. There was a small smile on the plump lips, eyes focused on the task at hand. The younger man must have realized that the talk had absolutely no informational value.  
  
“The secret weapon is having zero consideration.” He grinned and stood up, taking his suit jacket from Hyungwon's lap and sliding it over his shoulders smoothly. “We have a break of two and a half hours, I wanted to go for a swim.” A smile spread on his lips as he turned back to look at the other man.

Hyungwon glanced up, mustering his expression carefully before licking over his lips and returning the blue eyes to his phone, creating a new appointment.

“I could join you after finishing a few phone calls concerning the company that wanted to establish a cooperation,” he remarked and brushed long fingers through his hair, teeth settling on the plump lower lip, colour a deep red.

“Whatever you want,” he commented and walked towards the elevator, pressing the button and waiting for his handsome assistant to follow. Hyungwon appeared next to him, stature straight and elegant as he nodded at an unfamiliar man walking past them and brushed a hand through his hair again, arranging a few loose strands such that they returned to their predestined spot.

It was a mystery how they always ended up being alone in the elevator despite the crowded congress venue. Pressing their floor Hoseok glanced to the left, mustering Hyungwon’s face.

_What does he think?_

“Is there a particular reason for scaring off fellow congress patrons from entering the elevator with us, Mr. Shin?” the young man asked and a grin played around his lips, blue eyes large and constantly emphasized by the rather focused illumination of the elevator. A pink tongue licked over the plump lips quickly before they returned to the amused smile.

“I know that my gaze is rather special, but my face looks very friendly, objectively speaking. I don't think I'm the reason. I'd rather say it's the timing.” He brushed back his hair and looked at the doors opening as they had reached their floor.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, Mr. Shin,” Hyungwon merely commented as he pushed his body off the railing he was leaning on and walked past Hoseok, smile in place. “I see your point though. You have cute ears.”

He lifted an eyebrow, letting out an amused chuckle at the failed insult.

Walking into the room he got his swimming shorts out of the wardrobe, unbuttoning the white shirt and already happy about the perspective of cool water surrounding his body after the long day.

_Swimming is the best to get your thoughts in order._

The younger man remained in his suit, taking out his laptop and arranging it on the desk in the corner. He appeared concentrated, grabbing his phone and immediately making a call, voice calm and low, arranging an appointment for the next week. Interestingly, the boy was rather good at bargaining, achieving a time that was much more advantageous to Hoseok than to the partnering company and allowing him to create the contract draft in case they decided on the collaboration. Hoseok had already fully changed as Hyungwon finished the call and took out his own swimming shorts, throwing them on the bed demonstratively before typing something on his laptop.

“See you later,” Hoseok commented and pulled the bathrobe tighter around his hips before walking out.

The water felt exceptionally good after the day spent in a tight shirt and endless talks. The ability to move without any constraint was refreshing and gave him the feeling of freedom, sliding through the water smoothly, every movement precise and performed perfectly. After about twenty laps he pulled himself up on the edge, panting hard and throwing his head back after propping himself up on both arms.

Suddenly he felt a warm sensation against his wet back, stroking from the shoulders down, touch light, before a foot pressed against the middle of his back and pushed him into the water.

The masses of cool fluid covered his body as he sank down all the way, enjoying the lack of movement and the silence that spread around him. Staying like this for a couple of seconds his lungs started hurting and he pushed himself up until he could breathe again. Using a hand to brush back the wet hair he took a couple of long breaths to equal out the lack of oxygen and held onto the edge, lifting his gaze.

Hyungwon was sitting next to his hand, long legs dangling into the water, hips clad in short black swim shorts and wet brown hair framing his face, emphasizing the blue eyes. The younger man was watching him, biting down on his lower lip.

“Back in seventh grade I thought it was the last time for childish games like that, but one always learns more when time passes. It's not that long ago for you, I guess.” He smirked and pushed himself away from the edge, swimming another lap, trying to tire his body out to the maximum. He heard the sound of water splashing behind him as Hyungwon caught up, a surprisingly good swimmer for his build. He probably had less resistance with the way he was lean and had absolutely smooth skin.

“I like you when you’re wet, Mr. Shin,” he commented and smiled, keeping up the speed and breathing through his lips in regular intervals. “I doubt that was the reason for playing childish games back then.”

“Lack of proper argumentation seems to be a chronic condition.” He dove into the water and swam the rest surrounded by the cool water, diving up as his hand had touched the edge. The lungs screamed at him but he still tried to breathe as calmly as possible.

“Just like the necessity to get everything spelled out it seems,” Hyungwon remarked with a grin and leaned his back against the wall, holding onto the edge with his arms and keeping himself afloat by pulling up his weight a little.

“It's not the lack of explanation from your side, it's the lack of interest from mine.” He grinned right back.

“Your face told me otherwise yesterday,” Hyungwon replied and pushed himself off the wall, arms close to his body and moving in smooth circles for a butterfly position, movements quick and controlled.

_He's a good swimmer._

“Must be nice having a very good imagination.” Hoseok returned the argument, pushed himself up and sat down, letting the drops soak the tiles under him, watching the way the slim body swam a lap in butterfly style.

Once the handsome man returned he sucked air through his lips and placed both hands on Hoseok’s thighs, which were spread a little, long fingers digging into his skin as Hyungwon pushed himself up and sat down next to him, drops falling from his hair and body. He moved the brown strands back and removed water from his face before looking at Hoseok, gaze focused and lips parted. There was always something different about the way Hyungwon looked at him.

“Like my face?” he asked, smiling at the handsome man, features so beautifully combined together, creating a perfect picture. Hyungwon really looked like a person right out of a magazine, one you were sure was photoshopped.

“Sure, it’s ‘very friendly, objectively speaking’.” Hyungwon smirked and rested his weight on his arms which were placed behind his hips, upper arm touching Hoseok’s lightly.

Hoseok hummed and turned away, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. The sounds of the water were especially calming, creating an atmosphere where he felt the desire to float and to think nothing for hours.

“Would you like to soak in a tub? Might be good after the way you exerted yourself, Hoseok,” Hyungwon asked next to him and he could feel a hand on his thigh again.

_He sounds like her._

An uncomfortable feeling spread inside his chest and he stood up, not commenting and walking straight to the jacuzzi, stepping inside the hot water and sitting down, eyes closed. The water brushed higher on his chest as another person entered the tub, long smooth legs brushing against his. A few more seconds passed before Hyungwon moved closer, the other man’s scent entering his nose as Hoseok felt a slim thigh touch his own.

His eyes were still closed, senses eating up the necessary information, creating a more comfortable course of thoughts. He turned around and opened his eyes slowly.

Hyungwon was watching him carefully, face rather close compared to what was considered appropriate body contact. He mustered Hoseok’s face intently as the large blue orbs jumped from his eyes over his lips and back to his eyes again. As the intensity of the gaze remained the younger man sucked his lower lip into his mouth, fingers travelling to his thigh and stroking along it, touch barely there, only fingertips gliding along the wet skin under the water.

“What are you thinking?” Hoseok asked, low voice transcending through the loud background noise.

“That your skin feels nice,” Hyungwon whispered back. Fingertips reached the edge of Hoseok’s swim shorts and slid under it, curling along the uncovered skin, before returning to the length of the pale thigh. A soft breath left the parted lips and Hoseok could feel it against his neck. “Your expression is so distant that I wish to return the intensity of your gaze.”

“I am normally rather distant.” He tried to adjust the volume of his voice to the surroundings, speaking a little louder than normally. Hyungwon’s eyes remained on his face as he lifted the hand that was not travelling along his thigh and brushed over Hoseok’s cheek, watching his own gesture attentively, biting down on his lower lip.

Hoseok narrowed his gaze, staring into the big dark-blue eyes and licked over his lips.

_That's probably exactly how the tension develops between you two._

The younger man exhaled, meeting Hoseok’s gaze and adding color to his plump lower lip by another bite. The extent of the reaction was only perceivable because of the long fingers on his thigh, tightening immediately before stroking further up, moving under Hoseok’s swimming shorts and almost reaching his hip, scratching lightly on the way back before they repeated the pattern.

He moved his hand fast, like back in the days when he competed in Taekwondo, grabbing the other man's chin and coming closer until there were maximum five centimetres between their lips.

“What do you want, Hyungwon?”

The beautiful young man in front of him swallowed, motion traceable with his fingertips before the lips parted further, gaze impossibly affected.

“You.” The answer was a low whisper, no more, air against his lips more of a sign that Hyungwon had spoken than the sound itself.

_You?_

“This is not very specific, don't you think?” His own voice was also a whisper, adjusting to the proximity and leaning a little closer.

Again the younger man swallowed, pink tongue licking over the red mouth and creating reflections along the surface. He bit down on his lower lip and kept staring as Hoseok could feel the air caressing his face in a faster pattern, breathing frequency increasing.

“Touch me, Hoseok.”

_Makes sense._

“Let's go up.” He let go of the chin and stood up, putting his bathrobe on and walking towards the elevator without looking back.

_Why are you like this? It's not like you're abstinent or something._

Something about the way Hyungwon was looking and reacting to him was so impossibly attractive that it got to him, every single time.

_That's what extraordinary sexual attraction is about. It doesn't make sense, it's just there._

Walking into the room he threw the bathrobe to the side and took off the wet shorts, changing into new black Armani underwear before he heard the door open.

Hyungwon’s movements were slow but calm considering the way he had acted a few minutes ago as he walked over to the bed and pulled at the string of his bathrobe, opening it with a smooth motion and letting it slip down his shoulders. The younger man’s skin was a beautiful golden color, still covered in a few drops and some brown strands sticking to his beautiful face, still wet from the pool. The black swim shorts framed the slim hips and a prominent erection was visible, straining against the fabric as Hyungwon turned around and looked at him, expression returning as if it had never left.

Hoseok leaned against the desk, hands holding onto the edge and watched the other man carefully.

“I'd really love to know why you are reacting like this to me, but I guess it's just random sexual attraction,” he commented and licked his lips.

Hyungwon stepped closer without answering and curled his arms around his neck, lower body pressing into his hip, sensation cold, as a tongue licked over the shell of his ear, plump lips breathing against it.

“Because the intensity of your gaze makes me feel desired. I want to see more of it, see what happens,” the younger man whispered and gasped at the way he shifted his hips.

“You're very desirable. I don't mean it in the usual way. Of course you're very handsome and have a nice body, but you're very smart and your personality is really unique. I really like how you react to me,” Hoseok whispered, curling his arms around the slim waist, cold skin pressing against his and sending shivers down his spine.

Hyungwon gasped into his ear at the contact and tightened his arms, wet strands of the brown hair tickling Hoseok’s cheek.

“And I really like how you make me react. I’ve never screamed during sex before, holy fuck,” the low voice murmured and Hoseok could feel how the firm erection moved against his hip, reacting to the words and what they meant.

His fingers intertwined with the wet hair and he pulled the other man back a little, observing the way Hyungwon’s pupils were blown, taking away the blue colour, turning the gaze dark. The sight was absolutely mesmerizing, parted lips breathing hot air against his face.

_He's so hot. Fuck._

Hyungwon moaned at the action, sound leaving his lips as the large eyes closed for a few seconds before opening and focusing on Hoseok, teeth biting down and long fingers pulling at the black strands of his hair.

He couldn't and didn't really want to hold back, clashing their lips together, pulling at the brown silk-like texture and turning them, pressing Hyungwon’s body against the desk. The beautiful young man jumped on top of the firm wood and curled his legs around Hoseok’s hips, pulling him closer towards himself and gasping into the kiss, nails scratching along his naked arms and shoulders, trying to taste more and impossibly eager.

Hoseok broke the kiss, putting more distance between their bodies and sliding the wet shorts down the long legs, leaving the other man absolutely naked. So beautifully naked, golden skin and the black tattoo gracing the hip bone.

Hyungwon bit his lip and spread his legs a little, long erection on display. Realizing that Hoseok was checking him out he smiled shortly, grabbing him by the underwear and pulling his muscular body between the slim thighs, kissing him roughly. Teeth were pulling at his lip and a warm tongue licked inside his mouth.

“Now that I look at you like this, you're indeed very desirable,” Hoseok breathed against the hot lips, pressing his hips against the handsome man, trying not to go nuts although it started getting harder with every passing second. His fingers ran along the delicate neck, tracing the chest and stroking over an erect nipple, going further down the toned stomach.

The lips parted and released air as if the younger man wanted to say something but decided not to, grabbing Hoseok’s ass instead as he squeezed it before the long fingers travelled under his black briefs and scratched over the skin. Moaning softly Hyungwon threw his head back, apparently rather sensitive when it came to his nipples and gave Hoseok more space to touch him.

_He'll drive you crazy. You're already losing it although you're not even inside him._

The way Hyungwon reacted got him going in a way he couldn't have predicted and also wasn't able to deal with yet. He was hard, erection pressing into the other man's hips, trying to get more friction. His fingers were already stroking over the sensitive inner thigh, brushing along the perfectly shaped erection, touch light and teasing.

He was immediately reinforced by a hiss, naked body gliding further to the front on the table to get closer to the touch, head still thrown back as the weight rested on the lean arms, chest completely open to Hoseok’s ministrations. Each soft moan was accompanied by a lip bite.

_Fuck._

He hissed a breath, leaning in and sucking on a nipple. The young man tasted so good, it was intoxicating, the golden skin changed colour under his teeth, beautiful, small marks gracing the hairless skin.

_Shit, Hoseok, this is addicting._

“Fuck, I love it when you touch me,” Hyungwon moaned as the legs tightened around Hoseok’s thighs and the young man rolled his hips smoothly, erection rubbing against Hoseok’s clothed one.

_You also love it although he doesn't need to know how much you do._

He wanted to hear more, sinking down on his knees between the long legs, placing kisses along the inner thighs, biting here and there and breathing hot air against the tip. He could hear Hyungwon pant, one leg easily lifting up on his firm shoulder as the beautiful man looked at him, blue colour almost completely disappearing and lips a velvety red.

_Materialized sin._

He licked around the tip, pressing down on the connection between head and shaft, before taking him into his mouth completely, enjoying the way it felt, tracing the veins with his tongue.

He was blessed with a loud moan as Hyungwon's arms gave out and he leaned back on his elbows, still watching Hoseok intently, tongue licking over the plump lips which parted in moans at each ministration, heel digging into Hoseok’s back to take the younger man deeper.

He did. There was something about the way they were able to communicate without saying anything, just intense gazes that met and parted lips, exhaling hot air. It was driving him wild, desires he forgot existed knocking on his consciousness, asking him to let them in, to be led by them.

_That's a little too intense for sex, isn't it? But fuck it's absolutely worth it._

He intensified his ministrations, using his hands to roam over the smooth body, touching every piece of skin he could find. Hyungwon moaned loudly and let his back hit the wooden surface, arms thrown above his head, brown hair sprawled across the table and dropping a few pens and documents to the ground. There was pure bliss on the beautiful face, left hand digging into the skin of the right wrist and eyes closing for a few seconds before returning to Hoseok’s, lips opened in a loud moan.

He let the erection hit the back of his throat, humming loudly and grabbing both thighs with his hands, looking up at the beautiful man, feeling the intensity of his own gaze. A shiver ran along the smooth skin, visible and  contracting the muscles along the way. The young man’s eyes rolled back from the feeling, scratching along his own skin, leaving fine red lines.

“Holy shit,” the low voice gasped, rough from the moans and ministrations, hips lifting to meet Hoseok’s lips.

He let the erection slip out of his mouth, keeping it in his hand and stroking it slowly.

“Do you want to come in my mouth...or?” he asked, small smirk playing around his lips, not showing his inner state at all.

“Fuck me,” Hyungwon muttered, eyes meeting his, dark and intense as he pulled Hoseok closer with his legs, pushing his own body up and fingers playing along the length of Hoseok’s clothed erection, applying pressure to the tip with his fingertips.

_Fuck. Holy fuck, Hoseok. Take him._

He licked over his lips before standing up and going to Hyungwon’s bedside table, pulling out a condom and the bottle of lube. He stepped out of his underwear and walked back slowly.

_Good that he's prepared. Just don't think about the fact that he was prepared in the first place._

Hoseok placed himself between the other man's knees, lifting both legs on his shoulders. He rolled the condom over and lubed up sufficiently before pressing the wet tip against the other man's entrance.

“You're driving me nuts, you don't even know, fuck.”

“I know,” Hyungwon said, lean arms reducing the strength slowly, making the beautiful body smoothly slide to the table, head resting against the wooden surface and eyes remaining focused on Hoseok’s. A pink tongue left through parted lips and licked over them as the younger man grabbed the edge of the desk with his palms and used the hold to push his hips closer to Hoseok, one corner of the beautiful mouth lifted. “Fuck me up.”

_You should. At least in the same way he keeps fucking you up without realising it._

He pushed himself in, slowly, out of consideration for the young man who had taken him the two nights before, screaming into his face and asking for more. Every centimetre that disappeared inside Hyungwon ripped a piece of his sense for reality, pleasure shooting through every cell of his body. His lips parted in a low moan, gaze focused on the dark eyes as if it was the last thing he was able to perceive.

The expression on the young man's face changed gradually, lips parting as if he was amazed by the way it felt and eyes widening, blue colour returning at the edges just to make way for deep black again, silent moan leaving through the beautiful mouth. The long legs tightened on his shoulders while the attractive body under him attempted to relax. The intense gaze didn't disappear, not even for a second, watching Hoseok’s expressions with pure fascination.

_Why is it so intense again? It feels as if you're staring into each other's souls._

Hoseok felt absolutely overwhelmed, pleasure intertwining with the intensity of the gaze focused on his eyes, heartbeat speeding up although he didn't move properly yet, hammering inside his ears.

Feeling how Hyungwon relaxed around him he slid in further, mouthing ‘what the fuck are you’ without making any sound. Hyungwon gasped and flexed his arms, using his hold on the desk to push himself further towards Hoseok, bridging the last few centimetres and moaning loudly, skin clashing together.

He stopped, letting the beautiful body adjust to his length and thickness and taking the time for himself to get his shit together.

Hyungwon cursed and clenched around him, like he wanted to keep him away from his sanity, establishing eye contact after a short break and rolling his hips. The younger man bit his lip again and attempted to get even closer although the slim thighs were already flush against his hips. It was obvious that Hyungwon wanted him to move, but he didn't say a word, merely staring and attempting to act.

“Tell me how much you want me.” It was a stupid idea, a very stupid idea, possibly fuelling his loss of sense, but he still did.

Hyungwon bit his lip again, visibly fighting himself, unwilling to give up just like that and rolling his hips instead. His head hit the table loudly and he moaned, inhaling harshly as he looked at Hoseok again, head shaking slowly.

His breathing pattern changed and the heartbeat picked up while his fingers buried into the smooth skin, holding the slim hips in place, not allowing any movement.

“Should we stay like this then?”

Again the younger man shook his head and groaned, attempting to move against Hoseok’s tight grip, but there was no way, attempts futile.

“Can't you just fuck me?” he murmured as one hand curled around Hoseok’s wrist, desperately pulling at it to let him move.

“No I can't. I need to know whether it's worth losing myself,” he replied, gaze glued to the blue eyes.

He was blessed with a short whine, eyes turning absolutely black and focused on him alone as the lips parted and the beautiful man took a deep breath.

“My whole body is on fire, and it feels like you are paralyzing me, in complete control over me, but crazily enough that's exactly what I want. I want you to control me, to make me scream and steal my breath away. I want it so much that I feel like I'm going to pass out if you don't move right now,” Hyungwon whispered, body repeatedly convulsing and the nails of one hand scratching over the wooden surface, attempting to get a grip while the other dug into the skin of Hoseok's underarm. “Fuck me like you fucking mean it, Hoseok.”

_Do it, just throw it all away and lose it._

He leaned over, bending the ethereal body in half as his lips touched the plump ones, exhaling against them roughly.

“I never fuck anybody if I don't mean it,” he whispered and licked over the addicting mouth.

_Well that was a lie._

He leaned away and pulled out at the same time, before slamming back, grip tight on the slim hips and moaning right into the other man's face, gaze glued to it.

Hyungwon screamed, head hitting the desk as both hands grabbed the edge to hold onto it, loud outburst followed by equally loud moans, a mixture of curses and his name. The younger man appeared to bask in pleasure, throwing his head from side to side, losing himself with each passing second.

_He's so fucking intense, is he like that with everybody?_

He didn't have time to think as imminent pressure started flowing through his veins, replacing his blood, heartbeat mixed with euphoria and excitement numbing his senses to the point where the only proper action was movement, every muscle flexing and resulting in a insanely precise thrust.

He was graced with another scream as the lean arms pushed the slim body further into him, meeting every thrust and convulsing at the pleasure that it evoked.

“Holy shit, Hoseok,” the beautiful man moaned breathlessly, adding force as much as he could. Delirium was taking over the delicate features, hands less coordinated and head hitting against the wooden surface with each burst of perceptions.

He didn't say anything but he also wasn't able to, perceptions overdosing and the need to make Hyungwon scream intensifying. When the pleasure became too hard to resist he pulled out, panting loudly.

Hyungwon was gasping, one hand travelling over the surface of the desk until it reached Hoseok’s thigh, stroking along it while the other rested on his eyes. Some brown strands stuck to the side of his face, drenched from the effort and intensity.

Hoseok grabbed the lean thighs and lifted the other man, carrying him to the bed and placing him on the edge. He pressed a kiss on the soft lips and sucked in the intoxicating scent, clouding his senses even more.

“Ride me.”

Hyungwon bit his lip, gaze hungry as he nodded slowly and sat up on his knees, crawling closer to Hoseok and placing a kiss against the pale hip before he exhaled harshly and waited for him to lie down.

Propping his upper body against the headrest, Hoseok breathed in and out and focused his gaze on Hyungwon, who looked so unreal that it almost seemed like a dream.

The beautiful man climbed over his lap, hands roaming his chest and stomach in the process, scratching lightly and dancing over the sensitive skin.

Breathing in deeply the brown-haired curled his hand around Hoseok’s erection and lined up, establishing eye contact and watching his expression as he let himself fall, lips parting and a moan leaving the younger man's mouth at the action.

_Fuck, holy fuck._

He moaned, fingers digging into the smooth skin and thrusting up automatically, burying himself deeper and feeling ever single movement. The intensity was absolutely overwhelming, dark eyes resting on his face, starting right through him once again.

_Good that you can stare too._

Hoseok narrowed his gaze and moved his hips while pressing the other man down, hands pushing against the lean thighs.

Hyungwon moaned loudly and threw his head back, hands leaving Hoseok’s chest and attaching to the muscular thighs behind him instead, tightening the grip and using it to roll his hips without lifting up, establishing eye contact. The younger man licked over his lips and sucked the lower one into his mouth, reacting to intensity between their gazes.

“Fuck, you make me feel so fucking complete, Hoseok. Shit.”

_It's because you're huge._

He nodded slowly, movements becoming more sensual as he used his hands to roll Hyungwon’s lower body.

“Tell me what you want. I'm in a good mood, I'll give you all of it,” he groaned and buried himself inside the beautiful man again.

Gasping the brown-haired nodded furiously and dug his fingertips further in the muscles of his thighs.

“I want to ride you proper, show you how good I can be,” Hyungwon murmured and rolled his hips again, visibly affected by Hoseok’s words, showing impatience and moaning at each motion.

“Fine.”

Lifting his hands from the lean thighs, he put them behind his head, gaze intense and lips spread in a smirk, provoking the young man on purpose with the reaction.

The hands on his thighs tightened again as Hyungwon kept up the eye contact and rolled his hips, sliding upwards in the process, sensation intense before dropping down harshly. Loud moans left the beautiful plump lips without a break and with each repetition of the movement.

“Tell me how I make you feel, Hoseok,” the younger man moaned, staring at him while dropping down again.

He moaned, not being able to answer anything, before regaining his wits for a couple of seconds.

_Like flying with broken wings while not having a single regret._

Hoseok opened his mouth, trying to say something different, something that made more sense and sounded less emotional.

“You're so fucking hot, addicting, like a drug,” he replied, before moaning again.

“Is it tight enough for you?” Hyungwon asked with a grin before pulling his legs together, increasing the friction and sucking his lower lip into his mouth, eyes still almost black and only glancing at him. Keeping his thighs closer together he rolled his body up again, dropping right after.

“Your facial expression makes me want to fuck you against the wall,” Hoseok muttered, trying to get his breathing pattern back, sounding more like a broken engine than anything else. “Yes you're tight, I'm wondering how you're able to take me three days in a row. You must be desperate.” He grinned.

The younger man's eyes narrowed and he contracted around Hoseok while rolling his hips, biting his lip and making sure to evoke a reaction out of him, increasing the speed of his movements.

“So are you apparently.”

_Sure, but he can still choke._

Hoseok removed the hand from under his head and started licking his fingers slowly, trying not to moan too much, and when he did, acting as if it was a part of the show. After all digits were soaked he curled them around the straight erection, stroking it while applying pressure to the tip.

“This is unfair,” Hyungwon gasped and scratched over Hoseok’s thighs, almost painful and long legs pulling together, shivers visible. “You play dirty.”

“Say thank you that I'm not going crazy, fucking you like I mean it,” Hoseok commented, increasing the speed of the strokes.

Hyungwon moaned and bit his lip, removing his hands from the muscular thighs and pausing his movements, only rolling his hips while completely filled up. The beautiful man let his fingers travel over Hoseok’s chest and leaned forward, intertwining them with black hair and pulling it while exhaling against his lips.

“But I want you to, Hoseok.”

His arms curled around the smooth back, pressing Hyungwon flush against his body, before rolling over, such that the young man ended up lying on his back while Hoseok hovered over him.

“Touch yourself,” he hissed, pulling out and slamming into the beautiful body, grabbing a leg and basically throwing it over his shoulder while moving.

Something must have cracked as Hyungwon screamed and buried his hands in his muscular back instead of touching himself, head thrown back and muttering a quick succession of words, not caring about previous control.

“Oh my god, fucking please, Hoseok. Shit, please.”

He felt his own dick twitch at the words, giving out everything he thought about it, hips moving faster, the need to hear more, to see the way Hyungwon screamed and begged. It was crazy and it was addicting.

_There's no indifference in him._

Hyungwon screamed and clenched around him, fingers scratching along his whole back as the beautiful man continued begging him for the sensations, repeatedly like a mantra.

“Take it, fuck, take it all.” Hoseok couldn't help the words, strain and pleasure intertwining into an explosive mixture.

Suddenly the younger man's body tensed completely. The eyes were tightly shut, head thrown back and lips parted, exhaling roughly. Nails dug into Hoseok’s shoulder blades as the beautiful man released between them, without touching himself.

_Holy fuck, did you just make him come untouched? What the fuck are you both?_

He waited a couple of seconds for Hyungwon to say or do something.

The younger man was panting, finally releasing the tight hold of his fingers, eyes opening slowly. Pushing the slim hips against Hoseok, the dark eyes focused on him, edge coloured blue again.

“Go ahead, I want to see you lose yourself, Hoseok,” the plump lips whispered against his.

He leaned forward and moved his hips fast and precise while pressing his mouth against the other man's, his own moans disappearing between their lips before he couldn't hold on anymore, a low moan and his eyes wide open, staring at the beautiful person under him, every cell of his body pulsating through the intense orgasm.

Hyungwon was watching him, fingers sliding smoothly through his black hair, caressing and unusually affectionate. The beautiful man placed a strand behind Hoseok’s ear carefully before pressing their lips together softly, other hand stroking over his broad back.

The workout from before and the strain added up, making him almost collapse on top of the slim body, elbows the only reason he didn't squish Hyungwon. He buried his face in the crook of the younger man's neck, breathing in the already familiar scent and trying to get his senses back.

The soft hands continued their path, stroking his hair and pulling him closer while travelling over the skin of his back. The younger man didn't say anything, just continued his ministrations while Hoseok attempted to catch his breath.

_He must've liked it._

_But you liked it too._

Resting his weight on one arm he leaned back a little, using the other hand to brush back the sweat covered strands from the forehead, feeling the smooth skin under his touch and stroking over a blushed cheek, before placing another kiss on the hot, red lips.

The other man basically melted into the contact, lips parting and curling the slim arms around his neck. His eyes were closed, relaxed and perfectly at ease, completely ignorant of the discomfort he must have felt, keeping Hoseok inside of him and showering him with affection.

_Why is he so affectionate towards you?_

It didn't have to mean anything. The younger man was probably just someone who liked more aftercare. Furthermore the way Hyungwon had enjoyed his touch was really nice to see. Hoseok raked a hand through the brown hair and let his fingers run down the neck, wet from sweat. The other was really beautiful.

Hyungwon moved with the touch in his hair before leaning back to give Hoseok more access to his neck. After enjoying the caresses for a while the big eyes opened, deep blue colour taking up all of the pupil again and the beautiful man focused on him, smiling softly.

Hoseok pulled out slowly, crawling down and getting rid of the condom, bringing a couple of tissues to clean up, wiping over the toned stomach and thighs carefully.

“Everything okay?” he asked, lying down next to the slim figure.

Hyungwon just nodded, resting his head on Hoseok’s chest and curling one arm around his waist, intertwining their legs. A few moments passed before the younger man sighed.

“We haven't talked about the deal yet.”

_What?_

“You want to talk about it now? I mean sure, I'm all ears.” His hand rested on the warm back, drawing circles on the golden skin.

“I'm just worried you'll ditch me if we don't settle it,” Hyungwon murmured against his chest, fingers stroking over Hoseok’s side.

_Ditch him? You did say yes, didn't you?_

“I agreed, that's why we're here right now, or not?”

Fingertips travelled from his sides to his stomach, drawing undefined patterns on the skin.

“But I wanted to add conditions and- ah nevermind. Let's just talk about it tomorrow or whenever. I doubt that I'm rational enough now,” Hyungwon muttered and the fingers stopped drawing and caressed along the pale skin instead before they rested at his side again. The younger man placed a kiss to his neck, lips a little warmer than his skin.

_He's weird._

Hoseok curled both arms around the warm body, pressing it closer and placing a kiss on the forehead, still salty from sweat.

“Tell me.”

“No.” Hyungwon circled further around him, lifting one of his legs and resting it on top of Hoseok’s hips. “You told me to reflect on my decision making. It probably sucks now.”

_What is this drama? Why can't he just say it?_

“Stop freaking me out and just tell me what you want. If you mention a gun you have to shoot it. I'll tell you if I don't like it.” Hoseok stroked over the semi wet hair, still soaked from the pool and physical strain.

“I guess if you bring Chekov into the argument I have to shoot,” Hyungwon muttered and took a few deep breaths before he resumed letting his hands travel over Hoseok’s skin. It was a little distracting. “I don't want you to fuck anyone else while we're here and I want all of your free time, excluding the time you go to work out. There is only one night left so that makes it easy and more specific. I want you to come to the city with me after the program and I want you to fuck me.” He paused for a second before looking up at Hoseok. “Like you mean it.”

_He basically wants you for a day._

“So you're telling me you want to have sex and have my time for a day? Is that it? You know that I can stare at waves for hours without talking right? Are you sure?” he asked, placing a kiss on the other man's head.

_Why are you kissing his head?_

Because it smelled nice. Hoseok loved nice smelling things. It was a mixture between lilac and sex.

“I have the confidence to get you out of your staring mode if that's your main concern,” Hyungwon replied, placing a kiss on his neck in response. “So yes, that's what I want. But it does start now, so a one day plus deal.”

“Fine, I still have to meet Amelia because it was already set up. After that I'm free.” The silky strands felt amazing slipping between his fingers as he raked his hand through the brown hair once again. “You seem to be someone who likes aftercare.”

“So much to not ditching me,” Hyungwon murmured and let go, not commenting on Hoseok’s previous remark and crawling to the edge of the bed, naked and completely on display.

_And now he's sulky._

Hoseok waited until he sat down and curled his arms around the thin waist from behind, placing both legs on each side. Pressing a kiss against the fine hair on the nape, he kissed the shoulder, enjoying the way the smooth skin and the beautiful man between his legs felt like.

“I won't fuck her though,” he whispered into the small ear, pressing the body even closer.

The beautiful man hissed shortly at the proximity but relaxed as soon as Hoseok began caressing him, long fingers curling around his wrist and slim body leaning back against him.

“When will you be back?” Hyungwon asked quietly, head resting on Hoseok’s shoulder and eyes closed.

“She's demanding for no reason so I guess an hour max.” His hands kept touching the lean stomach, lips placing soft kisses over the marks his teeth had left before. “I marked your whole body, how are you going to go swim like that?” He chuckled.

Hyungwon lifted his head and turned such that he could stare at him, deep blue eyes focusing on him.

“Take responsibility then.”

“Mhm, how do you want me to take responsibility?” Their eyes met and Hoseok frowned at the way the younger man was looking at him, intention not quite clear without semantic input. “You can tell people that it was your boss punishing you for being a stubborn brat.” Hoseok bit into the soft skin again, enjoying the proximity without the crazy tension surrounding them.

_The tension is still there, it's just different._

The blue eyes widened and Hyungwon stared at him as if he had lost his mind.

“Are you mental, Mr. Shin?” he asked but didn't move away from the touch, watching the way Hoseok’s lips attached to his body while teeth bit down on the plump lip. The expression changed from surprise into something more smug.

“Do you always mark things you want to have for yourself? Very stereotypically dominant male of you.”

“Well to be accurate, you're the one who wanted to have me. I'm just playing along because I'm nice.” He chuckled against the golden skin. “Also I don't need to mark anything, it comes to me by itself.” A couple of kisses were placed against Hyungwon’s neck, before he remembered what he actually wanted to ask.

“Right, regarding your deal. What about proximity? Do you only want to be touched during sex, or do you want to be close all the time? I need to know so I can adjust.” Hoseok bit into the soft ear lobe and licked over it right after. “I really like how you smell.”

Hyungwon turned in his arms and climbed on top of his lap, arms curled around his neck and lips almost brushing his, beautiful body resting hotly against his thighs.

“All the time,” he whispered before licking over Hoseok’s lips. “And don't bullshit me, Hoseok. You want this almost as much as I do.”

_It feels really good._

He kissed back, arms curling around the thin waist, enjoying the proximity.

“How would you know that for sure. But I do enjoy it, you're right. It ends when we're out of the plane?”

The brown-haired nodded, running a hand through his hair quickly and licking over Hoseok’s lips again. Kissing for a few more moments he climbed off, stretching shortly, golden skin on display before he grabbed a towel and leaned against the bathroom door.

“See you in hopefully an hour then,” he said with a smile, eyes reflecting the room light brightly.

_You don't mind seeing him in an hour. Did you experience something similar before?_

Not that he remembered. It seemed to be a first.  


***  


It felt strange to lie on the soft sheets of the king-sized bed all by himself, head resting on one of the pillows and legs entangled with the warm blanket.

Hyungwon wasn't quite sure how much time had passed since his boss had left to meet a rather clingy woman for a drink that obviously attempted to get into his pants, but it couldn't have been an hour yet. The older man was rather good with estimations based on Hyungwon's experience so he fully trusted the mentioned timeline of one hour.

_At least he said that he won't fuck her._

The deal hadn't even been necessary to reach what he had wanted, namely Shin Hoseok reacting to his actions and teasing and acting on mutual desire, a desire that was much more present than the older man liked him to believe. It happened even without the deal.

_He was just as affected, Hyungwon. You could tell from his face._

The sight had been beautiful, dark eyes, pale skin, parted lips and vocal outbursts that he hadn't experienced with Hoseok before. Something about Hyungwon's behaviour had driven the older man wild and the one and a half hours that Hoseok had given him to figure out the deal had been sufficient to come up with a few rather decent ideas.

_He loves to break your resolve, your attempts to hold back until you crack and give everything, the way you react to him._

_If you give him that he can't resist._

Hyungwon shifted on the bed, regretting his decision making skills for a second before forgetting all about it again, long fingers playing with the sheets, pulling at them.

He had actually never really created sex and affection deals before, asking someone to be with him, let him touch the other person and have mind blowing sex. It hadn't been necessary before.

_Because you got it just like that. Just like Hoseok gets everything._

However his superior gave him the constant feeling that he could run away any second, get bored and tired of the push-and-pull game they were playing and not give Hyungwon what he wanted. A deal seemed to be the most effective way to bridge that worry, keep the older man for himself during their work trip, bask in the attention of the intense gaze.

Hyungwon had never had sex on a table before, not like that. Sure, he had let someone fuck him on a washing machine once, but it was more along the lines of ‘let's try this out maybe it's fun’ instead of ‘I want to fuck you so bad that I'll take the first surface‘.

_He keeps grabbing your attention and it can't be the sex, otherwise you wouldn't remain in his arms for ages, stroking his hair and enjoying the touch._

Hyungwon wasn't a person that enjoyed aftercare. He was the one that preferred to sleep at home and had always snuck out after one night stands, sparing himself the walk of shame and preferring to see the expression of desire for something unattainable on his lover’s face.

_You're so strangely emotional with this. Just enjoy it while it lasts and return to what you're used to right after. He'll think you have unnecessary emotional attachment towards sexual partners._

Hyungwon didn't. Not usually at least. Sex was sex and being a young gay man going to university made hook ups rather easy. Paris had enough gay bars and enough men that loved to fuck pretty boys. Furthermore he had intended on returning to Germany after finishing his studies and joining his parents, therefore not establishing any romantic relationships. He preferred to travel and be free and the other person would have just felt burdened by a long distance relationship.

Of course he had dropped the plans right after the first semester, preferring life on his own and deciding to travel while making money somehow instead. So no, he was definitely not a person with unnecessary emotional attachment, but Shin Hoseok had a talent for tickling out sides of Hyungwon that he hadn't been aware of, be it sexual, behavioural or mental.

He sighed and sat up, shifting again and adjusting the tight jeans on his long legs. He wanted to take a walk as soon as Hoseok returned, to see more of Tel Aviv so he had dressed immediately after his shower, hair orderly and not sticking out in various directions anymore. He wore a loose sweatshirt, showing a bit of his chest and comfortable to run around in.

Tired of his own thought patterns he grabbed ‘Death in Venice’ from his bedside table and continued where he had left off, blending out his surroundings and drowning in the black words on the white pages, smell of the old book calming.

He heard a beep and the door opened, the older man stepping inside the room and going to the table, sorting some documents, before glancing up.

“You wanted to go out?”

Hyungwon looked up from his book, focusing on the older man's face, mustering his expression carefully before nodding. The other looked in thought, not focused on him or the surroundings, gaze narrowing but on nothing specific.

“Yeah, I wanted to take a walk and see more of the city if you don't mind,” he answered and checked the page number before closing his book and placing it on the bedside table again.

“Let's go then, I think I might need fresh air,” Hoseok commented and took his wallet, sliding it inside the back pocket of the ripped jeans.

Hyungwon climbed off the bed, wincing shortly and walked over to his wallet, checking if his money had dried properly before placing it into his back pocket. The atmosphere was a little strange but it would probably settle as soon as they were out of the hotel.

“Just don't throw me fully clothed into the water this time,” he requested with a chuckle and pulled his leather jacket out of his luggage, throwing it over his slim shoulders. “Do you have any places that are definitely worth seeing in Tel Aviv? I want to get a feeling for the culture.”

“I won't,” Hoseok said, but something about the other man's mood had changed in the hour the was gone. “Let's go to the Rothschild boulevard, the weather is nice and you can sit outside with a cocktail or take a walk.”

“Sounds good.” Hyungwon walked to the door after pulling his shoes over his feet and didn't take his eyes off the other man on the way to the elevator and finally out of the hotel. Hoseok was different compared to the affection he had showered him with before leaving.

“How was the meeting with the woman?” Hyungwon asked, curiosity winning as they walked along a rather crowded street, young people talking excitedly and drinking fruit smoothies or alcoholic mixtures. Two boys were leaning against a reddish wall, covered with announcements and kissing. The openness was admirable and he couldn't help but smile before turning towards the older man again.

“It was okay. She knows me from ten years ago and wanted to catch up on the stuff that happened.” Hoseok looked at a spot beneath his feet while walking next to him. “And she wanted to have sex, but that was kind of obvious, so I guess it was a very disappointing encounter for her.”

“How did you get her off your dick?” Hyungwon asked, forgetting his language for a second before he decided that it didn't matter, brushing a hand through his hair and glancing at the gigantic skyscrapers, out of place next to smaller houses made of golden stone. The two of them appeared out of place too but no one seemed to care, casually following their routine. It was nice.

“The usual truth. Told her that I'm not interested as soon as I sat down.” Hoseok stopped in front of a traffic light, waiting for it to turn green. “I don't like wasting time. The problem is just that people think they can make others change their mind.”

_Means you're not wasting his time yet or he'd have told you to fuck off._

“Only works when they are young and impressionable,” Hyungwon replied, remembering social psychology and various relationship statistics. It was always one of the major disappointments in relationships, agreeing to deal with an unpleasant character trait with the firm belief that one can change it. He used the time they stood and curled his arm around Hoseok’s shoulders, playing with the other's shirt with his fingers and leaning some of his weight on him. The older man was the perfect height for it to be comfortable. “One of the major reasons for failed relationships, but I guess it can be hard to control one’s own hopes.”

“Expectations can be very scary.” The traffic light turned green and Hoseok started walking, pointing at a street bar on the other side of the street. “Let's sit down there.”

Hyungwon nodded, wondering why the older man sounded like he spoke from experience. He kept his arm loosely on the broad shoulders and couldn't help but feel happy at the casual proximity. He only let go once they reached the bar, sitting down on a stool and watching Hoseok’s facial expressions again.

“Are you bi?” The question was random but the older man had seemed equally interested in offers by women, flirting back in a cunning manner. In addition fucking Hyungwon had been rather straightforward, so the younger man had no doubts about that. “I don't doubt your attraction to men even if a few straight men had considered fucking me before.”  
  
“I like interesting people, the gender doesn’t really matter to me. You can call it bisexual if you want.” The older man leaned back on a couch and smiled at the pretty waitress, interesting combination of green eyes and brown hair catching the eye. She was aesthetically pleasing but nothing that would have enticed Hyungwon.

“That's admirable. I can't really relate, never been interested in women before,” he replied before asking the waitress to recommend him something, smile in place. She suggested a particular gin tonic so he went with it.   
  
“We’re all different. My last experience with a man was about seven years ago, so I’m happy that I still remember how to do it.” A playful grin spread on the handsome face after taking a sip of the gin tonic, facial expression relaxing a little more than before.

_What? Holy shit._

Hyungwon couldn't help the way his eyes widened, taking a sip from his drink to recover from the shock.

“You mean you've been fucking women the past seven years? Wow.” He took another sip to interrupt the way he was staring at the other man before resuming.  
  
Something in Hoseok’s expression changed before he took a long sip of the drink, turning to the side and watching the people walk past.   
  
“I guess you could say that, yes. What about you? Life was crazy when I was 22, so it must be the same for you, besides hanging around with your boss, but I guess it’s because you are stuck here.” The older man chuckled, but it sounded a little mocking.

_He keeps talking as if you're a child, teasing you for your age and your interest in him. Does he consider himself undeserving or something? The attraction is perfectly reasonable._

Except for the fact that Hoseok was his boss of course. And much older.

Hyungwon smiled, playing with the straw in his drink as he crossed his legs on the stool, glancing at the dark sky. A woman laughed behind them, conversations loud as people were occupied with their lives.

“I wouldn't call it exactly crazy, not sure what you mean by that. Furthermore hanging out with my boss is as much of a choice as everything else, Hoseok.” He closed his lips around the straw and took another sip of the tasty mixture. It was really good and luckily not as ridiculously expensive as most other things in that country. “I would like to return to our conversation on expectations though. You sounded like you speak from personal experience.”  
  
“I meant that your life must be rather dynamic. That’s how I perceived it when I was your age, nothing to be sulky about. We all speak from personal experience when we talk about stuff like that. I mean you must’ve had expectations when coming here, am I right? What did you expect?” Hoseok leaned in and narrowed his gaze, inspecting the changes in his facial expression. It always had the same effect on him so Hyungwon bit his lip.

“I actually expected us to work. Only. I mean, it's pretty obvious that there is sexual attraction between us, I just expected that it's possible not to act on it.” Hyungwon chuckled, remembering how idiotic it was considering his reaction to Hoseok and the fact that they were going to be close. “Bitch you thought.” He shifted on his stool and glanced at a couple kissing above their drinks on the other side of the bar, smiles visible.

“Well, I expected things to happen until it actually happened I guess.”

_He won't get it, Hyungwon._

After all it was him who had made sure they would receive a double room, but that was before sucking each other off at Hoseok's apartment and the older man saying he was unbothered and they shouldn't repeat it.

 _So much to being unbothered._   
  
“So your expectations changed after the expectation turned into reality? What do you expect now? Enjoying the fun and going home as if nothing happened?” The gaze stayed focused on his face while the curved mouth played with the straw, moving it along the lower lip.

The interpretation skills were no joke. Hyungwon couldn't help watching the plastic slide along the curved lip, blue eyes following the motion intently before he finally looked up.

“Yeah, we couldn't keep this up anyway, so the smart idea would be to go home and pretend nothing happened. The proximity would be gone and so would the temptation,” Hyungwon elaborated, going through his previous arrangement of thoughts. It was better this way. He couldn't keep up a sexual relationship with his boss at home and even in Israel it was already a bad idea.

The whole escalation was his fault for wanting to be close enough to the other man to rile him up. Now both of them were basking in the result. He sighed and placed a warm palm on the muscular thigh, enjoying the way it flexed under his fingertips.   
  
The older man started laughing, mouth wide open and eyes turning into crescent moons. It was so different from the way the other had normally held himself, strict and professional, distance always present in every interaction.

_He's beautiful._

“You’re hilarious.” Hoseok pointed at the spot on the couch, gesturing for Hyungwon to sit down next to him.

He frowned at the comment, not sure whether that was a good thing considering that he was being serious, but let himself fall on the soft surface nevertheless, thighs touching.

“And why is that?” he asked, frown remaining in place and eyes narrowing a little. A strong arm curled around his waist, pressing him closer into Hoseok’s embrace, while the other turned to him, gaze sliding over his thighs, chest and neck, stopping at the lips and going further up before finally settling on his eyes.

 _He's basically eating you up._   
  
“Because that’s bullshit.” The low voice breathed against his lips, head tilting a little.

Hyungwon's breath hitched immediately, heartbeat increasing and hammering in his chest. He could feel the quick beats in his lips, almost touching the older man's curved ones. The spot where Hoseok caressed his waist burned and a tingling feeling spread through his body, a mixture of familiar attraction and something else, something that remained in his chest.

For a short moment he panicked, hearing the loud voices of others around him until he remembered that nobody knew them and was therefore also not aware of their complex relationship.

_They'll just think you're a couple._

“Why would that be bullshit?” he whispered, licking over his lips and almost touching the other man's with his tongue.   
  
Hoseok placed a short kiss against his mouth and leaned in, breathing hot air against his ear.   
  
“I’ll tell you a story from personal experience that has a nice scientific back up. You want something and you think you’ll get enough if you only have it once. Let’s take a metaphor, a cake with different layers. After having tasted one layer you want to taste all of them, making the experience more intense, thinking it will fade by satisfying the need once by eating one whole piece of cake. As soon as the cake you’ve wanted is not available anymore, you end up not only wanting it even more, but also missing the feeling of having it all, resulting in a more intense longing and craving to have it all back.” The short, rough whispers hit his ear throughout the monologue, fingers stroking over the side of his waist.

_He’s right, Hyungwon. He's fucking right._

His body was burning up and he fought the desire to melt into the touch, lips tingling at the wish to attach them to the other man's again.

“And what do you propose then? There is nothing else we can do except for returning to routine,” he said, keeping his voice calm and level instead of the emotional mess that it really was.   
  
The handsome man leaned back a little, brushing the pale cheek against his face, lips almost touching again, gaze like an armada of dark warriors marching into his soul and ripping everything apart.   
  
“There is no solution for this, I was trying to tell you that your expectations will be disappointed eventually.” A pink tongue licked over the curved mouth before the lips moved again. “But I promise to do my best after we’re back, so that you don’t crave for the cake too much.”

 _What the hell is that supposed to mean? Either he's offering you to keep the cake or he's proposing to make it so tasteless that you don't want it anymore._

Hyungwon curled an arm around the other man's neck and buried his fingers in the black hair, pulling lightly.

“Is that an offer or a threat?”  
  
Another kiss followed before Hoseok narrowed his gaze.   
  
“It’s neither. I’ll try to be as open as I can for the rest of the trip and go back to being the distant professional person right after. It’ll be easier to adjust.”

Hyungwon strengthened the grip on Hoseok’s hair and clashed their lips together, tired of the light touches, burning up his chest with unfamiliarity that didn't resemble arousal in the slightest.

“Alright,” he whispered against the curved mouth before licking over it again and basking in the intensity of the gaze, returning it with his own, blue one. “Then I'll do the same.”

A sudden sound interrupted them as the waitress tried to carry their empty glasses away and accidentally toppled over one of them. Hyungwon jerked, almost jumping out of Hoseok’s embrace and was immediately met with several apologies.

“Didn't mean to disturb you boys. Want another drink?”  
  
“Can you make two gin tonic to go? We wanted to take a walk,” Hoseok answered and smiled at the waitress in a way Hyungwon also wanted to be smiled at. It was sweet and appeared genuine, like the other man cared and had real interest in the other person.

_Why would that matter, Hyungwon?_

He wanted to impress with his abilities so maybe such a smile would also be a sign of appreciation.

_That must be it._

The pretty girl smiled brightly and nodded, walking off to bring them their cups, bill arranged right next to them.

 _Gin tonic is expensive after all._

“May I ask you something?” she suddenly said and Hyungwon couldn't help the surprise, nodding shortly. “Is your eye colour real?”

He would have rolled his eyes if it hadn't been rude, clenching his fist shortly before answering with a smile instead. “Yeah, it's a mutation.” Biting down on his lip he reached for his wallet in order to get the whole thing done with and be able to fuck off.

Hoseok was faster, putting a bill into the small hand and nodding shortly, beautiful smile spread over the curled lips.

“Let's go.”

Hyungwon grabbed his cup and walked out of the bar, a little uncomfortable that the older man had paid for him again, but also immensely thankful. He had just begun working and the tuition from his last semester was still weighing him down so he had to be more careful with his spending. It was ironic compared to the extravagant way he had been living the past days.

_It's like a fantasy. Everything working out until you return home._

“Thank you for paying,” he murmured, eyes focused on his drink.

“You can pay when you get your first paycheck. There's also a new task I want you to do, but I'll tell you when we're back. Seems better,” the handsome man murmured, taking a sip out of the plastic cup, which was ironic considering the fact that the drink inside was worth eight euros.

“Sounds exciting.” Hyungwon turned towards Hoseok, smile on his lips at the outlook of a different task. It sounded challenging and he always loved challenges.

_Like returning to routine when you're back._

“What's your favourite book, Hoseok?” Hyungwon asked and placed his arm on the muscular shoulders again, loving how comfortable it was to walk like that, scent of coffee and cake filling his nose again, adding to the pleasant warmth that the gin created, running down his throat.

He really is the cake, isn't he?  
  
“It depends on my mood. But as I am pretty sure that it’s not enough to only have one favourite book, I have a couple. I love Camus’ ‘L’Étranger’ for the different perspective on behaviour and humanity, I love Murakami’s ‘Hard boiled wonderland and the end of the world’ for the amazing depiction of the concepts of consciousness, subconscious mind and identity, I love Dostoyevsky’s ‘The Idiot’ for the portrait of the usual and unspecial and ‘The Brothers Karamazov’ for the insanely precise characters. How about you? What’s yours?” An arm curled around his waist, touch light and almost weightless.

_Shit, he's amazing._

“I agree with you on Camus’ ‘L’Étranger’. Existentialism is rather fascinating, especially in literature and I like how the book makes you think. Concerning Murakami my favourite pieces are ‘Kafka on the Shore’ and ‘Sputnik Sweetheart’. I feel like he challenged himself more, especially in the second by writing about the perspective of young woman finding herself attracted to another. He got rid of the stigma and just showed genuine emotion. I also immensely enjoyed Bulgakov’s ‘Master and Margarita’. I prefer ‘Demon’ over ‘The Idiot ‘ by the way.” He smiled, enjoying the hand around him and remembering how his dad always brought a book each time he travelled, adding to Hyungwon’s personal collection. “My parents loved international writers so my father always bought books. That's how I got into it.”  
  
“There is something about Murakami that fits my way of thinking so well. Lately I’m having a specific mood a lot and I came across this short story, it basically described my whole inner world without knowing what I was struggling with.” The other man got quiet and looked up to the sky that was covered in stars, crescent moon hanging over them like an old acquaintance. “It’s called ‘Sleep’.”

_Sleep? Insomnia? That short story was fucking intense._

“Are you suffering from insomnia? That story was rather intense and even bordered on manic depressive behaviour,” he commented and turned properly towards the older man, surprised by the comment and strangely shocked by Hoseok identifying himself in the behavior and thoughts of the woman desiring to disappear into nothing so she could finally sleep. His blue eyes looked for the dark ones, fingers automatically squeezing the shoulder.   
  
“I’m sure that you misunderstood what I meant. There are different strategies in dealing with things. What I was talking about was a state, not the resulting behaviour. But nevermind, tell me what you do in your free time.” The other man was obviously trying to change the uncomfortable topic.

_There is something bothering him just like before. A mixture of insomnia, broken expectations and something else. What the hell happened?_

Hyungwon decided not to dig further, feeling that Hoseok would only close up and soak in the strange distance that threatened to return wherever the older man was left alone with his thoughts.

“I swim, read, go dancing, play chess. Those kind of things,” Hyungwon answered, grin in place. “Only things that don't make me bulky unfortunately. You?”  
  
“I read, I work out, I work. I did so many more things when I was younger. I’m a black belt in Taekwondo, I played piano for twelve years and I also danced, but now I don’t have that much time anymore. The company is transcending into my personality.” Hoseok chuckled before sliding the black eyes over his slim form. “I like your body.”

Hyungwon bit his lip automatically before remembering to not be so fucking obvious and released it again.

“Yours is pretty hot,” he commented with a smirk, fingers dancing along the clothed skin and glanced ahead, watching a mass of pigeons attempting to collect bread crumbs at a fountain. They must have been close to the beach again. “I also did a lot of stuff before, but I either got bored, didn't have enough time or changed country.” It was rather dark, street lamps becoming less and less. Hyungwon looked to the side to make out the other man's features, pale skin almost shimmering. “Is there something you particularly miss and wish you hadn't given up?”  
  
“I’m not a person who regrets, the outcomes are based on so many variables that I consider it useless to have regrets regarding single ones. I just really don’t like not outspoken conflicts and misunderstandings because they can lead to severe damage.” The expression turned hard all of the sudden, lower lip pulled inside the curved mouth and gaze narrowed.

Admirable. Regretting was a rather human quality, only differing in the time people invested in thinking about ‘what ifs’.

“Have you encountered severe damage before, Hoseok?” Hyungwon couldn't resist asking as his hand slipped into the black hair, massaging along the scalp and partially the neck. The older man was fascinating, from his appearance, over his inner world to the way he expressed himself. The wish to grasp all of it and to internalize it was overwhelming. “Good that we're honest with each other then.”  
  
“Are we?” the other asked quietly, looking up to the sky again. It was mesmerizing, the amount of times Hoseok had just looked up was impressive. People normally looked down or in front of themselves whereas the older man kept his gaze up a lot, especially at night.

_What is he trying to find?_

“I am,” Hyungwon replied and reached for the handsome man's jaw, turning it towards himself and establishing eye contact. A few birds chirped at the side, accompanied by the sound of the water fountain and the sea, mixing into a pleasant whisper. “Are you?”

“That depends.” It took a few moments for the dark gaze to settle on his face after they stopped walking.

“On what?” Hyungwon stepped closer, curling his arm tighter around the shoulders and pulling them flush against each other, basking in the attention, blood rushing quicker through his veins and strange sensation in his chest returning.

“On whether I consider the truth necessary for a specific outcome of an interaction,” the low voice breathed against his lips.

_So he might be lying to you, or rather hiding something. You could have guessed as much._

Shin Hoseok was a mystery.

“You are a real businessman, aren't you, Mr.Shin?” Hyungwon replied, licking over the curved mouth before stepping away and curling his fingers around the older man's wrist instead.

“I'm a psychologist, or do you think I'm doing business with you here?” The low voice sounded a little dangerous, facial expressions not fully visible under the shadow from the street lamp.

A shiver moved over Hyungwon's spine but he clenched his fist and remained still, fingers still relaxed around the pale wrist.

_Don't always show him everything. He doesn't even try to see it and you just give it for free._

“Hiding the truth is manipulative and a useful element in business. I'm not sure why you would need to manipulate me, Mr. Shin.”

“Not spilling every possible fact is a choice and not a manipulative trick. I'm not manipulating you, it would look different if I was, pretty boy.” The other dragged him closer by the hand around his wrist and leaned in. “It's not a truth or dare game on a school trip, babe. I'm giving you my time and I'm giving you my body in return for yours. You don't need to know 90% of me for that to work.”

Hyungwon bit his lip, gaze narrowed and breathed out through his nose, fighting his reactions. The older man was right. Their deal was straightforward and in no way involved becoming friends and opening their fucking hearts to each other.

_Why are you throwing yourself into this? Do you feel like you're dreaming, far away from home, Hyungwon?_

“Whatever you say, Mr Shin,” he answered, eyes remaining narrowed and pulled away, licking over his bottom lip to distract himself.

Hoseok curled an arm around his waist and pressed him closer, lips a mere centimetre away. He could feel the other man's heartbeat through the muscular chest against his and warmth transcending through the fabric.

“Seems as if I'm not the one who's lying. What do you want, Hyungwon?”

The air got stuck in his throat as the feeling in his chest returned full force, an unfamiliar lightness accompanied by the desire to melt into the touch and be held. Hyungwon gasped and bit down on his lower lip, harshly enough to hurt.

“You’re a fascinating and intelligent person. I feel like I learn a lot when I talk to you and enjoy our conversations,” he whispered, overwhelmed by the proximity. “I don't want them to stop, Hoseok. At least while we're here.”

The sinful mouth came even closer, whispering something that sounded suspiciously like ‘liar’ against his lips before parting them with the warm tongue and sliding into his mouth.

_You keep losing if it's against him._

Hyungwon melted, independent of what he had promised himself, both arms fully curling around the firm neck and leaving most of his weight to the older man holding him. His lips parted all on their own and he gasped at the intensity of the kiss, fingers desperately trying to hold on.

Hoseok pressed him even closer, hands roaming over his back and warm fingers sliding into his hair while the lips tasted every piece of skin they could find, breathing pattern changing and giving out the other man's state.

_He wants this just as much as you do, don't forget._

It was difficult not to with the way the older man controlled himself, playing with his reactions as if he had no interest. They were both lying, pretending to be nonchalant. Hyungwon scratched over the clothed back and pressed their bodies flush, moaning softly at the proximity. His eyes remained open, watching Hoseok’s reaction and attempting to draw conclusions, to understand how the older man felt.

“Don't you like kissing me, or why are you staring? Should I stop?” Hoseok leaned back breathing harshly against his skin, gaze intense.

Hyungwon shook his head quickly, too fast to realize that it appeared impossibly eager.

“I'm trying to understand how you feel,” he whispered, long fingers tightening in the shoulders, worried that the older man would stop, become distant as before.

“How I feel? I'm standing in the middle of a street while sharing an extremely intense kiss with my assistant I'm actually supposed to work with, not thinking about things I should be thinking about and not doing things I should be doing. I feel mental and I think it's because of you.” Broad palms cupped his face, pink tongue licking over his lips and placing soft kisses around his mouth.

_Holy shit. You won't be able to stay away no matter what you tell yourself._

Hyungwon closed his eyes and let his hands roam over the muscular body, feeling delirious and overwhelmed by a mere kiss, warmth filling his chest without moving to his limbs, remaining there and creating the sensation of inertia. He gasped into the kiss and felt desperate to keep it, to let the older man remain just as affected, just as involved and unable to stop. He didn't want to burn on his own and he didn't want it to stop.

“Don't stop kissing me, Hoseok,” he whispered against the warm, curved lips as he leaned his whole weight against the other man's body, pulling at the black strands, faces only millimetres apart as he panted against the pale skin, eyes still closed. “Please.”

The other man looked affected, lips parted and pupils blown. Curling the muscular arms around his body, Hoseok clashed their lips together, licking inside his mouth and nibbling on his bottom lip. One hand going up and pulling at the brown strands, tilting his head to the side, giving the older man full access to his neck.

They were kissing in the middle of a plaza, but Hyungwon had never cared less, letting himself drown in the sensations and allowing Hoseok to mark his neck, nibble and kiss along it, doing everything he desired as soft exhales left his mouth and he attached his body further to the older man's. It was mind blowing, like every cell in his body desired to be close to the other man, to be held and kissed, independent of situation and rationality.

The handsome face leaned back a little, establishing eye contact and breathing harshly.

“Let's go to the beach,” the curved mouth whispered while an index finger traced the form around his eyes. “You belong next to the sea with those eyes.”

Hyungwon’s lips parted, breathing just as irregular as Hoseok’s and eyes focusing on the impossibly dark ones. Nodding slowly he curled his fingers around a pale wrist and pulled the man towards the beach, over a turned off traffic light and onto the barely lit sand. The sound of waves got louder, rushing in his ears and he took a few deep breaths of the fresh air, attempting to clear his thoughts and calm his racing heart. He only belatedly realised that he hadn't let go of the older man's hand, fingers slipping further and intertwining instead.

_Stop being so emotional, Hyungwon. It's an agreement based on mutual attraction. He's not your lover and he'll only be your boss in two days._

He wasn't able to think for long, as Hoseok’s lips appeared out of nowhere, and placed a kiss over his hand, lifting it up and smiling.

“I really seem like a boyfriend for a day or something, right?”

Hyungwon swallowed, uncomfortable with the thought for some reason and took his hand back.

“I think that would be a bad idea,” he whispered and chewed on his cheek, watching the marks that his chucks had left in the partially wet sand. “In addition boyfriends don't keep secrets.”

“Everything is a bad idea, so I'm going to enjoy it to the fullest and then do the 180 degree turn,” the older man remarked, stepping closer and smiling at him. “Everybody keeps secrets. It's just how the world works. Don't you understand? The less you know the easier you'll go back to the ‘Mr. Shin’ bullshit you like so much.”

It hurt somehow, but Hyungwon ignored it, placing his palms flat against the muscular chest instead and finally looking up, stepping closer as well. “Can't you just leave me my utopic and unrealistic expectations of relationships? Everything seems so fucking surreal anyway, might as well be a fucked up drug dream.”

“True, but then-" Hoseok cupped his face again, leaning closer. “You seem pretty real, the way I react just doesn't make sense. It's probably the surroundings. But I also can't bring myself to care much. The defined ending point is so calming.” The older man breathed hot air against his lips once again, kissing the corners of his mouth and the tip of his nose. “You're perfect next to the sea.”

It felt so affectionate that it took the oxygen from his lungs, warmth filling out everything and stealing all the space for air. He gasped at the light touches of the lips, eyes remaining wide and focused on the older man who was showering him with touches and attention, everything that Hyungwon had desired before without the necessity to give his body. It was almost scary, meaning much less sexual than it had been.

The defined ending point was not calming. It was terrifying. It reminded Hyungwon of the fact that he was way deeper into this than he thought, emotions a mess and fingertips reaching for the black-haired man without the conscious decisions to do so.

_But maybe it's really the surroundings. The sea, the tub, the hotel, the bar. All of these won't be there when you're back in Paris._

Hyungwon couldn't imagine himself back in France. He was standing in the middle of a beach at night, sand reflecting the minimally present light less than his eyes did, sound of waves behind him and the arms of a beautiful man surrounding him. He smiled, fully overwhelmed by the perceptions and closed the distance himself again, corners lifted despite the kiss and filling his body with euphoria, melting at the touch and caressing the pale skin under his fingertips.

_Everything will be back to normal once you're home, Hyungwon. Everything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 3rd of May at 2 PM CET.
> 
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> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in his life he wished for a plane to be delayed

The fast steps echoed through the almost empty gym, running machine tuned to make him go almost 13 km/h, straining his body and letting his lungs scream in resistance. His thoughts fought each other with every passing second, the torture he let his body go through not helping and not providing the desired distraction.  
  
 _You’re doing something that is stupid and wrong. You don’t have the right intentions and you have no idea how it can backlash._ _  
_ _  
_The last hours spent with his assistant made a lot of things more complex than he liked to admit, his open attitude adding up to the tension instead of reducing it, affection surrounding their interactions. It was like a dance in a mass of fog, you came out with a tiny film of water on your skin, having no idea what had left it, the fog or the sweat formed through the intensiveness of movement. It was confusing and scary.  
  
 _He’s lying. He keeps telling you things that don’t make sense._ _  
_ _  
_The way Hyungwon looked at him was obvious. There was something about Hoseok that the other man was obviously infatuated with. His assistant liking him didn’t make sense at all. Hoseok had been clear all the way, mentioning the end point and promising to make it easier by acting distant, something he was very good at.  
  
 _But you’re just jumping into it, kissing his face and telling him he’s perfect. Why would you do confusing stuff like that? He might misunderstand._ _  
_ _  
_It had been hard to resist, the blue eyes appearing so beautifully complete next to the sea, creating an atmosphere where he was able to exchange his thoughts, wrapping them around Hyungwon, like a welcomed distraction, like something he could think about without getting angry or sad, instead of having trouble sleeping and repetitive destructive thoughts.  
  
 _That’s not how a distraction is supposed to work, Hoseok. Aren’t you being too risky, opening up and feeding his desire to know you, although you obviously, and objectively shouldn’t?_ _  
_ _  
_They only had the evening left and Hoseok had spent most of it running like a mental person and lifting weights until his body basically consisted of sweat and veins on display, covering every inch of his pale skin. Tomorrow they were supposed to board the plane and step out onto french territory, pretending as if nothing had happened in the first place.  
  
 _But you promised. You promised to give yourself to him for the rest of the time. You can bask in it and go back later. You can’t do anything else anyway, there is no other option, he just has to understand._ _  
_ _  
_Stepping down from the machine and almost fainting he grabbed the handle at the right time to prop himself up and catch his breath. His feet took him to the shower right after, ice cold water running over his body. He thought about it once more, the whole situation and the strange attraction Hyungwon must’ve felt towards him.  
  
 _And the strange attraction you feel towards him. His reactions make you gasp, it’s pretty intense._ _  
_ _  
_He had always been a person that showed little affection and he had never been someone who lost himself only because of sexual attraction. Pleasure was pleasure, but there were always thoughts in his head, intertwining with the pleasure and giving him the advantage of being in control most of the time. It started getting different with Hyungwon, the previous clear patterns of his own behaviour not valid anymore, forcing him to pay more attention but having less resources to do so at the same time.  
  
 _Are you infatuated too?_ _  
_ _  
_Sure, he liked how Hyungwon had reacted to him, basking in the way the young man desired him and his body, enjoying the interest in his personality to a certain degree and welcoming the change of thinking patterns, having more distraction and being able to finally breathe freely. _  
__  
__He is beautiful and he’s smart, his body is desirable and so is spending time with him._  
  
 _But you don’t want to be together._ _  
_ _  
_ _And you can’t._ _  
_ _  
_The thoughts always ended at the same spot.

A dead end.    
  
The sounds of the elevator calmed him down a little. He looked at the mirrored wall, his reflection staring back at him, gaze intense. The black hair hung into his eyes, not dried properly and framing the pale face, red, curved lips only adding up to the contrast. He was 35, but he looked younger, very handsome face, no wrinkles, bright and toned skin covering his worked out body. Just like the carefully picked out clothes, always going for interesting and creative combinations, but not crazy or overdone.   
  
_ She must’ve been crazy. _ _   
_ _   
_ Sure, he wasn’t perfect, always working and being rather distant, prefering to end discussions if the other person didn’t understand the point immediately or if the arguments got childish and irrational.  He was pretty impatient and with very strong opinions, only willing to discuss if the point was well researched and reasonably presented, placing scientific accuracy over personal feelings and general theories over emotional contention. He didn’t need love confessions and words of affection. Human behaviour had always been telling better stories than words would ever be able to. 

Hands down, Hoseok was not an easy human to deal with on a personal level.    
  
He opened the door, still in thought before he spotted Hyungwon, who was lying on top of the bed and reading ‘Death in Venice’. The book was pure irony, even if Hyungwon was thankfully an adult and they weren’t in Venice.   
  
_ Let’s just hope that you both won’t die, sucked into this stupid loop of sexual attraction and lack of rational decision making skills.  _ _   
_ _   
_ Hyungwon’s personality was one of the reasons it got harder to resist, to not throw himself into this whole deal. The young man was so smart, the thinking pattern attracting Hoseok’s attention even more than the beautifully shaped body and the insanely attractive gaze those blue eyes provided when the other tried to deny him something, realizing the desire and attempting to play with it, turning the whole tensed interaction into a push and pull game.    
  
_ Aren’t you the master in this? She said you always managed to get everything you wanted like this. Removing the desire, burning the want and leaving the other person to suffer with it alone, no possibility to push you into a certain behaviour. That’s why you don’t have to worry, you’ll just get rid of the desire, like you’re supposed to.  _ _   
_ _   
_ He kept standing, leaning against the wall and observing the way the dark blue eyes slid over the written words, so focused that the other man didn’t notice his arrival yet, probably tired of waiting as Hoseok had stayed longer than promised. The brown hair was parted, leaving parts of the forehead free, beautiful golden skin reflecting the yellow lights of the table lamp and appearing so incredibly attractive. The shape of the full lips changed depending on the words the other man had read, sometimes pulled into a thin line or spread in a small smile, showing a variety of expressions, so interesting and pleasing to watch. Hyungwon started chewing on the inner side of his cheek, facial expression turning concerned and involved. It was a good moment to interrupt.   
  
“I’m back,” he whispered, still propped up against the wall and watching the other intently. 

The slim body jerked at the words as Hyungwon looked up, some of the light brown hair covering his forehead again and making him appear more youthful compared to the way he usually styled it.

“You took a while. Good that the place is open until 3AM,” the younger man remarked and jumped off the bed, checking the page number shortly before closing the book and placing it on the night table, not bothering to use a bookmark. “Amazing how you always find the motivation to work out every day.”   
  
_ Motivation for an action always depends on the alternative. _ _   
_ _   
_ “The time is spent better there,” Hoseok commented and took his wallet waiting for the young man to follow. “Where did you want to go on our last day?”

Hyungwon pouted shortly, humming and opening the black cupboard, examining the contents carefully.

“A place that I looked up which is famous for its gin mixtures,” he elaborated before taking out a different pair of jeans and a different shirt. The brunette threw both on the bed and took off the clothes he was wearing with quick movements, putting on the impossibly tight black ripped jeans and an almost transparent black silk shirt, adorned with something resembling a large ribbon and emphasizing his body form. “They are a bit fancier so you might want to doll up.”   
  
His eyebrow went up and he walked over to the wardrobe, pulling out his favourite black pants, impossibly tight and hugging his thighs. A black silk shirt followed, deep neckline letting his pec muscles get the attention they deserved. The previous clothes fell on the ground as he slipped into the combination of elegant and sexy and looked at himself in the mirror. Somehow all black looked so good on him that it was almost scary.

“We both appear to have an affinity for black,” Hyungwon commented as he had styled his hair, freeing his forehead, probably aware of the fact that it made him look more mature and impactful. Interestingly the younger man also pulled an eyeliner from his luggage, adding a little bit of color around his eyes, mainly emphasizing their size. “I’m ready.”   
  
“I see you’re going all out, want to impress someone? What’s the place?” Hoseok grinned and walked towards the door, not paying further attention. 

“You’ll see,” Hyungwon replied behind him before leaving the room and eventually the hotel, leading him through several streets, only checking his phone once in a while to make sure they were going the right way.

“Do you know how to dance?” he suddenly asked when they passed a bar with particularly loud music, some people dancing outside while smoking a cigarette.   
  
“The interest in my person must’ve been faked. I told you that I danced before, I was part of a pretty famous academy for about ten years, so I guess I know how to dance.” He grinned, looking at his shoes. 

The younger man just chuckled, curling his long fingers around his wrist and pulling him around a corner and into a rather narrow street, several plants decorating walls although it was way too hot for anything to survive, especially on walls where the watering systems couldn’t reach as easily. The lighting was spare, but surprisingly many people used the little path, groups of youths laughing loudly and couples hugging each other’s waists. “There is a difference between dancing in an academy and dancing at a club, Hoseok. I was interested in the rather simple rolling of hips to a heavy beat with very little space to move while people grind against you without a break.”   
  
_ He’s dragging you to a club? Hallelujah. _ _   
_ _   
_ “Yay for being squished between hundreds of 18-year-olds. Good that it’s the last day.” He rolled his eyes but followed nevertheless. Hyungwon laughed.

“Ey, I was considerate. I purposefully looked up a club that starts at twenty to reduce the amount of teenagers. Unfortunately I couldn’t go any further up otherwise they wouldn’t let me in,” the younger man said with a short wink while not letting go of Hoseok’s wrist, keeping his hand loosely around it while turning around the corner again. “In addition they are rather strict with entry so we’ll see. Maybe they won’t let us in cause you’re too intimidating.”   
  
“I have no vocabulary for how fucking ridiculous this whole thing is, but life seems fun otherwise,” he commented walking after Hyungwon and reflecting on his life choices. A thumb brushed over his skin softly as the brown haired man merely smiled at his words and stepped into the cue behind a gay couple, kissing intently while waiting for their turn.

“When was the last time you danced, Hoseok? Maybe it’ll be nice to remember.”   
  
_ When was it?  _ _   
_ _   
_ He couldn’t remember, it must’ve been at least five years ago. She hadn’t really been into dancing so he didn’t go either, rather staying at home or travelling because of the company.    
  
“Don’t know.” His voice got quiet, gaze lifting up to the sky and watching the crescent moon surrounded by an insane amount of stars. He could see from the corner of his eye how Hyungwon did the same, looking up and sucking in a harsh breath.

“Holy shit, this looks intense. I thought the sky would be black here with all the artificial light. Makes me want to see the desert,” the low voice whispered as the hand stroked up from his wrist, travelling up to his bicep and remaining there.   
  
“I spent new years eve in the desert here three years ago. People are celebrating in the tent in the middle of nowhere, you have connection on your phone although it’s far from everything, but you look up to the sky and it seems as if you’re a grain of sand, lying around not understanding anything while the universe is rotating around you and rotating you at the same time. The amount of stars is insane, giving you the feeling of drowning in a mass of light, engulfed in the eternity.” The memories came back as he looked up at the sky and remembered how he stood in the middle of the bedouin tents, looking up to the sky and reflecting on everything he considered important and valent. “You should definitely go some day.”  _   
_ _   
_ “I would love to,” Hyungwon whispered, visibly in awe and not removing his gaze from the sky. They almost missed the fact that the cue had moved had a handsome young man not pointed it out to them, grinning at their distractedness. It was almost their turn when the brown haired man next to him finally removed his blue eyes from the mesmerizing view and stared at him instead, licking over his lips shortly. “I’m envious of your experiences. I really want to travel the world like that.”   
  
“Do it.” Hoseok looked back, observing the interesting gaze, a little different from all the other times Hyungwon had looked at him. The younger man lifted his free hand and rubbed his thumb and index finger together before sighing, the gesture for money. It made a person on the side laugh, probably interpreting the motion differently in the current context. Hoseok pulled out a couple of bills and placed it into the other man’s hand, putting the wallet back into the pocket of the tight pants.

The blue eyes widened comically as Hyungwon looked around in panic and stared at him again, gaze incredulous while mouthing ‘what the fuck’ at him.   
  
Hoseok started laughing, pointing at the entrance.    
  
“The entrance fee, you dummy. God, why are you so cute? Seriously, as if a hundred bucks would be enough to travel the world.”

The younger man sighed again and handed the bill to the bouncer at the front who mustered both of them carefully, not wasting his time thinking longer as he waved them in immediately. “A hundred bucks is still shitloads of money. I could eat for a month with that,” Hyungwon remarked as he pulled Hoseok through the entrance, deep bass of the music tingling in his feet and his chest. The narrow hallway wasn’t as full as one might have expected, only a few individuals leaning against the wall and talking or kissing further in the corners.   
  
_ Because he doesn’t eat and thinks money is everything. _ _   
_ _   
_ “I wish that money would be as important as people think. There’s something I want to buy, and I was offering half a million euro for that, but that...person doesn’t want to sell it to me,” Hoseok murmured and walked further into the club, trying to forget his own comment. The younger man stopped walking shortly, staring at him for a few seconds before biting his lip and appearing in thought.

“People never sell things they are emotionally attached too, at least some. For others it only depends on the price and half a million might not be enough,” he said, this time almost kissing his ear to make sure he heard it over the loud electronic remix.

Smiling shortly Hyungwon led him through the crowd, mixed instead of consisting of ridiculously young people as he had expected, ranging to forty as far as he could tell and filling out the space. The club was decorated with various colorful lights, nicely arranged seating possibilities and finally a glass ceiling, showing the night sky. All the patrons were male. 

Arriving at the bar the brown-haired yelled something at the bartender, receiving a nod and eventually two drinks in return.

“I thought you’d be less sulky with a drink,” Hyungwon called into his ear, one arm curled around his shoulders and grin in place, visibly excited about the idea of dancing at a gay club.   
  
“As it’s a gay club you could find some better company, someone who’s younger, more handsome and less sulky.” He sipped on the very well made gin tonic and looked around. Most of the people were on the dancefloor, some merely moving smoothly to the beats and enjoying themselves, eyes closed. A rather pretty young man was moving his hips fluently to the music with his eyes shut and drink in hand, apparently not even interested in company. 

A pull at his arm brought his attention back to Hyungwon who mouthed ‘nah’ at him, voice not loud enough to break the noise level and pointed at Hoseok, moving the large hand in a circular motion over his pretty face and finally showing him a thumbs up. The younger man was indicating that he looked amazing apparently, before he took a sip from his own drink and almost moaned at the taste, again showing a thumbs up.   
  
_ He’s really cute. _ _   
_ _   
_ There were a lot of aspects that gave out Hyungwon’s age, the way the other man reacted to certain things, the surprise and excitement in the blue eyes, mouth corners lifting up and showing the underlying thoughts one by one. It was fascinating to watch.    
  
_ It’ll be over in a couple of hours, enjoy the company, enjoy the music and then go back to the stuff you don’t want to think about. _ _   
_ _   
_ He smiled, taking a big gulp of the insanely good drink and walked to the dancefloor as an especially upbeat song came on. Closing his eyes he felt the bass pulsate through his skin, reaching his muscles and spreading warmth along with the alcohol inside his veins. His body started moving smoothly, movement control transcending into the music until he felt them becoming one. Bodies moved around him, adding warmth and brushing his body once in a while, mostly unintentionally until a pleasant touch moved along his arm shortly before disappearing. He opened his eyes and looked around, still engulfed in the movement. 

Arms circled around his neck as hips easily followed his motions, keeping the flow. Hyungwon leaned in, hot air caressing his ear, licking over his earlobe. “Mind dancing with me?”   
  
He nodded, curling his arms around the slim waist and pressing the thin body a little closer, thighs brushing and hands feeling nice under the flexing muscles of his shoulders and back. 

Hyungwon was a good dancer, easily adjusting to his movements and following, adding smooth motions himself and building up pleasant sync, working well together. The long fingers stroked along his neck and intertwined with the strands of his hair as the younger man bit his lip and closed his eyes, visibly focusing on the music and little elements in the melody that he emphasized with rougher transitions of his hands and hips. It felt nice, the hot air around them mixed with the incredibly loud music and the almost familiar body moving against his, sending spikes of adrenaline and pleasure through his system.    
  
_ It’s nice how you’re not really thinking about anything else when he’s so close. _ _   
_ _   
_ The sound turned more in the direction of RnB, returning the memories and letting his body move even more naturally, less control of the motions necessary and focus shifted towards visual input. Hyungwon looked good, black transparent shirt hugging the toned chest and stomach, black tight jeans leaving the possibility to determine the golden skin tone through the ripped holes and hugging the lean thighs like a second skin. 

The delicate shoulder shimmered in the changing lights, a tiny drop of sweat running down from the temple to the jaw and further down along the golden skin of the younger man’s neck. He lifted a finger and traced the way, picking it up and licking over his finger, tasting the saltiness, lilac fragrance entering his nostrils and creating a dejavu.

The beautiful brunette opened his eyes at the action, blue eyes rising towards his and reflecting most of the club lights, colors playing in the vibrant tone. A pink tongue left the plump lips and licked over them, movements remaining smooth, body twirling with the fluid melody. A few seconds passed with the younger man not removing his eyes before a grin spread over his lips and he rolled his hips into Hoseok’s, removing the last bit of distance and slim thigh positioned between his own muscular ones.   
  
_ Of course he was going to rile you up in public. That’s what you signed up for from the start. _ _   
_ _   
_ Hoseok grinned too and leaned back a little, pressing their lower bodies together before sinking down a bit and going up, brushing his crotch against Hyungwon’s in a smooth movement, gaze focused on the handsome face. He could observe how a gasp left the beautiful man, eyes adjusting and darkening a little before a smile returned to the expression and the arms around his neck pulled Hoseok closer, keeping the rhythm of the song throughout the action.

Inhaling while pulling at his hair Hyungwon closed his eyes, visibly enjoying the proximity and the dancing in combination, face saturated with genuine bliss. Hoseok played along, moving his hips smoothly and letting a hand roam over the slim back, exhaling against the plump lips, enjoying the hot air coming out from the other man’s mouth and hitting his skin. _   
_

A few people kept complimenting them, calling out close to his ear, but the younger man remained oblivious. The big eyes were still closed and the slim body moved to the beats, easily feeling the movements Hoseok intended to perform with the long fingers on his shoulder and in his hair, lean thigh remaining between his legs but only focusing on dancing instead of riling him up. Leaning further towards his neck Hyungwon breathed over the shell of his ear.

“I love the way you move, Hoseok. Makes it so easy to lose myself in the motions, not thinking about anything except for the way you feel.”   
  
“You are a really good dancer, your moves are smooth and it looks like you’re effortlessly one with the rhythm.” He returned the compliment and leaned back a little, loosening the grip on the slim hips and turning around, starving for his abandoned drink. A warm hand closed around his wrist again, almost weightless body easily pulled along merely by holding onto it. Once they were back at the bar Hyungwon pouted shortly before taking a sip out of his abandoned glass and shutting the blue eyes, expressing joy.   
  
“Are you having fun?” Hoseok asked, closing his eyes momentarily while concentrating on the way the cold mixture of alcohol and tonic made its way down his throat, leaving a warm sensation behind.

“Lots,” Hyungwon exclaimed, calling out over the music as his eyes lit up and the red lips spread in a wide and bright smile, taking up most of his face as his body kept moving slightly to the bass in the background. “You?”   
  
_ Are you? _ _   
_ _   
_ “Mhm, I guess.” 

The eyes narrowed shortly only to make way for a bright smile again.

“If you’re still guessing you’re not dancing hard enough. Come on, show me what you can do, Hoseok!” Hyungwon called out and attempted to pull him to the dance floor again, visibly excited before he stopped pulling suddenly and licked over his lips instead. “I'll make it worthwhile.”   
  
“I’m too old to fall for empty promises.” Hoseok grinned, licking over his own lips.

The younger man curled an arm around his neck suddenly, pressing their bodies flush and pulling at his lower lip with his teeth before breathing against his lips. “And I’ve seen too much of you to believe any of that.”   
  
_ He’s attentive enough to notice that you like it more than you want to admit. _ _   
_ _   
_ “Fine, whatever you need to feel better, handsome boy.” He leaned in, placing a kiss against the smooth neck and going straight to the dancefloor. Hyungwon followed immediately, attaching himself fully to Hoseok’s body and keeping the intense contact as he moved to the music, breathing hotly against his curved mouth and running his hands through his hair and over his muscular back, leaving the dancing to his hips and legs. 

It was intense, clothed thighs brushing against his crotch and big hands tracing the outlines of his muscles through the black silk. The movements were fast but sensual, bodies dancing in sync and completing each other. Another drop of sweat ran down the delicate neck and he couldn’t hold back, leaning in and licking along the way it disappeared under the shirt, sinking his teeth into the beautiful skin of the shoulder right after. He was gifted with a moan as Hyungwon threw his head back, obviously not expecting the action as the rhythm stuttered for a second or two before resuming. The younger man sucked his lower lip into his mouth and remained like that, nails scratching along Hoseok’s back instead, harsh breaths leaving through the pretty nose.

Fitting to the melody the lean thigh lifted higher to rub along his crotch purposefully, watching his expression as the beautiful face remained more calm than before, leaning towards his ear again.

“You have no idea how much I want to rip that silk off your body.”   
  
The words painted a smirk on his face as he thrust into the movement of the thigh, equally conscious and leaned in.   
  
“It’s harder to hold back for me, as I could literally rip those pretty clothes off you. Done stuff like that often enough to know that it works. I don’t work out for nothing.” 

The reaction was immediate as the younger man cursed and buried his nails further in his shoulders, scratching along the delicate fabric and probably leaving lines on his skin nevertheless. The slim hips pushed further against him, lips clashing against his and licking into his mouth, abandoning the previous restrain just at his words.   
  
Hoseok had certain behavioral expectations towards every person he had dealt with but Hyungwon sure as fuck ripped them all to pieces in a matter of seconds, reacting in a way that surprised him, letting his breath get stuck in his lungs and not having enough time to determine a proper and appropriate course of action, diminishing the resources and leaving him back with the blind intuition as the only point of orientation. 

His lips moved along with the hot wet tongue, gasping into the addicting mouth and pressing the thin body closer, flush against his own, feeling the hot skin through the silk fabric.

“Shit, you drive me fucking mad, Hoseok,” Hyungwon muttered, eyes remaining closed as he didn’t part from his lips for longer than a second, immediately attaching himself again and pulling roughly at his black hair as he increased the friction between them, temperature rising to impossible highs, skin like fire to the touch.   
  
“You’re the one driving me nuts, shit, why can’t you just be the grey indifference like everybody else.” He gasped once again, holding the younger man in an iron grip around the waist, while still moving his hips, friction driving him mad with each passing second. Lips attaching to every bit of salty skin he could find, Hoseok drowned in the feeling of almost breathing Hyungwon.

The brown-haired leaned further back, giving Hoseok more access to his collarbones as he watched him, eyes dark instead of the usual blue and lips blood red from the way he kept biting them, attempting to hide the harsh exhales that left him without a break.

“Because it’s either black or white for me,” the low voice whispered into his hair, soft moan leaving the plump lips and only audible because of the proximity to Hoseok’s ear. “Take me where you want me, Hoseok.”   
  
“But I want you everywhere, fuck.” It was a bummer that one couldn’t take back words. The situation had been too intense to monitor anything, thigh rubbing between his legs continuously and the beautiful body displayed for him, in front of him, accessible and desirable, numbing his senses. 

Again he could feel the nails scratch along his back as Hyungwon gasped in his face, licking over the plump lips and gaze impossibly focused, almost black with the way the pupils filled out the iris, only looking at him.

“Then take me everywhere while I’m still yours to take.”   
  
_ Take it when he’s offering it. _ _   
_ _   
_ “Let’s go.” He grabbed the thin wrist, rushing over to the bar and emptying his glass in an instant, waiting for Hyungwon to do the same.

Hoseok walked out of the club, remembering the streets the other man had led him through. Looking straight ahead most of the way, he didn’t turn around until he stopped in the middle of a narrow street, breathing in and out before turning to the other man, sliding his gaze over the beautiful features, sweat glistening on the golden skin, even more obvious under the street lights.    
  
_ You’re absolutely crazy. _ _   
_ _   
_ Grabbing the small face with both palms, he went directly for the blood red lips, tasting the gin and the other man’s exclusive scent, licking into the delicious mouth and pushing himself flush against the slim body. The younger man visibly melted into the touch, attaching himself completely, jumping up suddenly to curl the long legs around him in addition to the lean arms, kissing him like he needed it to breathe while raking through his hair and moaning into his mouth.   
  
Hoseok curled the fingers of both hands around the lean thighs, pressing Hyungwon closer, enjoying every bit of contact, jaw lifted to meet every kiss and lick of the addicting tongue, catching every sound with his mouth, gasping himself at the intensity.    
  
_ You barely drank anything, what the fuck is this? _

“Shit- shit, I want you,” the plump lips panted against his as the legs tightened, erection obviously pushing into his hips as the long fingers pulled fiercely at his black strands again, giving the younger man enough room to attach himself to his neck, sucking on his jugular and biting the pale skin, mixing pleasure and pain.   
  
“This is fucking sick, holy shit.” Hoseok gasped again, throwing his head back to give Hyungwon more access, enjoying the slight pain mixed with a wrecking ball of sensations. They needed to go back as soon as possible as he already felt the need to rip the pretty fabric from the beautiful body.

Nails scratched along his back as Hyungwon licked over his collarbones, dipping his tongue into the hollow, legs still firmly curled around him. The younger man was breathing heavily, visibly focusing his strength as the long fingers dug into his skin, moving further up until the big hands grabbed his face, establishing eye contact. The beautiful man was panting roughly, hot air hitting Hoseok’s face repeatedly as the mixture of blue and black was eating him up, drowning him in its depth.

“Fuck me.” _   
_ _   
_ _ Fuck him. But not here. _ _   
_ _   
_ Hoseok just started walking, looking past Hyungwon to see where the fuck his feet were carrying him, before he let the other man slip down slowly, feet touching the ground and curled the arm around him from the side. Arriving at the lobby he couldn’t give less fucks about Hyungwon’s body being basically attached to his, pressing the elevator button and walking inside. He counted the seconds before the doors closed, just to turn around and attach his lips to the delicious neck, sucking on a spot behind the small ear while his hands were stroking over the clothed sides. 

The younger man moaned in his beautiful, low voice, sound completely unrestrained as he pressed Hoseok closer and whined at the clothes in the way, pulling at his black silk shirt repeatedly, undecided between pulling Hoseok’s hair to have room to properly tear at the silk or to push him closer instead, allowing him to leave more marks along the golden neck. The doors opened and he grabbed the thin wrist, dragging the tall man with him towards the room, opening the door and almost going crazy when it finally closed behind them. He pulled his own silk shirt over the head, throwing it wherever, gaze narrowing on Hyungwon, who stood propped up against the wall next to the door.

The mesmerizing man stared back, teeth abusing the red lower lip, moving over it and adding to the intense impression, brown hair falling down from its previous arrangement and covering parts of the smooth forehead, framing the unreal face. It was obvious how Hyungwon desired to act immediately, body pressing further into the wall and arms lifting slowly before he stopped himself, watching Hoseok instead, unwilling to give up that easily.   
  
“You love seeing me desperate for you, don’t you?” Hoseok stepped closer, leaving a little distance, not touching but enough to feel the warmth of the other body transcending into the air.

He was met with a nod and a barely present smirk as Hyungwon lifted his hands slowly, placing them above his head as he watched the muscular body and finally Hoseok’s face. The eyes were focused as the plump lips parted, visibly affected by the sight and attempting to fight it. A silent moan left the pretty mouth, large eyes remaining shut for a few seconds before opening again to re-establish the way they were eating him up.   
  
“Fine, I’ll show you, so that you have something to remember.” His hands grabbed the seam of the transparent fabric, pulling it over the other man’s head and leaving the beautiful body half naked, golden skin shimmering and adding up on the surreality of the whole situation. His hungry lips attached to the smooth chest, licking over a nipple, humming against it and rolling it between his teeth, both hands grabbing the slim waist, holding the other man in place. 

A loud moan entered his ears as Hyungwon hit his head against the wall and gave up his restrain, hands raking through Hoseok’s hair instead of remaining still, proving that the younger man was sensitive, gasping in the intervals that he wasn’t moaning, attempting to push his muscular body closer and add friction to his groin.    
  
He slid his tongue over the toned abs, tracing the outlines and enjoying the way they were flexed under every lick, hands in his hair pulling tightly. Opening the tight pants and sliding them down the long legs, Hoseok enjoyed the way the black retreated and made space for more golden skin, basically glowing under his fingers and tongue. Stepping out of the underwear the beautiful man ended up being absolutely naked, leaning against the wall with Hoseok between his legs, who was busy licking over the tip of the prominent erection, twitching against his lips repeatedly.

Hyungwon was so eager, attempting to pull him closer by his hair as the legs shivered, previous marks that Hoseok had left contrasting with the skin and in the process of fading slowly. The large eyes were opened despite the obvious effort, watching every move as the hands began shaking too, restrain visible in the way Hyungwon held himself, moaning although Hoseok hadn’t been doing much yet, merely teasing him.

“Fuck, I’m dying, Hoseok. Touch me.”   
  
He complied, already fueled by the display of the other man’s impossible eagerness for his touch. Taking the erection into his mouth he traced the veins with his tongue and hummed against it, letting it hit the back of his throat, massaging the balls with his right hand for combined sensations. Hyungwon moaned loudly, legs almost giving out and head hitting the wall with the intensity of the feeling, pulling at the black strands painfully, trying to control Hoseok’s movements.

“Don’t-” the younger man began, struggling to speak with how irregular his breathing was. “I want to last.”   
  
He let the erection slip out of his mouth, missing the taste already and glancing up.   
  
“Do you need to prepare?” He was met with a quick head shake as arms attached around his neck and pulled him into a kiss, pink tongue licking into his mouth, attempting to taste all of it, slim hips adding friction by pushing into his at the same time. He leaned back, narrowing his gaze on the dark eyes, pupils taking up most of the space, appearing so intense and fueling his apparent addiction. “Undress me.” 

The long fingers immediately got to work, stroking along the firm muscles of his arms, caressing the shoulders and finally scratching over his pecs, continuing with the defined abs and exhaling loudly in the process, affected by the sight. Reaching the waistband of his pants the hands dug under it shortly, teasing the skin and his erection with the minimal amount of friction they provided before Hyungwon dropped to his knees and opened the button, pulling the zipper down with his teeth. He mouthed over the clothed erection immediately, merely covered by briefs as the pants were pulled down his legs simultaneously.    
  
The younger man moaned against his dick, exhaling against it and pulling the underwear down with his teeth, aided by the skilled hands, stroking over his ass and thighs, pressing down and scratching in succession as Hyungwon didn’t hesitate even a second before deepthroating him, keeping him in his throat for a while, swallowing before sucking his way back up and repeating the whole thing, hands pressing him as far as possible between the plump lips.    
  
Loud moans were leaving his lips without a break as one of his hands raked through the silky hair, pulling the other closer against his crotch and loosening the grip again. The pleasure was seeping through every cell of his body, fueled by the addicting image of the beautiful man kneeling between his legs. He pulled out and slid the tip along the plump lips, licking his own and staring down into the almost black orbs.    
  
“I want you.” 

Hyungwon licked over the tip while glancing up, slowly stretching out his tongue and allowing it to move over the head, digging into the slit for a short moment, watching Hoseok’s expression as he exhaled loudly against the wet head, burying the long fingers in his muscular thighs.

“Then take me.”   
  
The blood seemed to flow somewhere right next to his ear, noise getting louder and mixing with the prominent heartbeat, way too fast to be comfortable. He pulled the other man up before walking over to the familiar drawer and preparing in a matter of seconds, walking back and turning Hyungwon’s body such that he was facing the wall. 

Palms pressed flat against the white surface as the younger man hissed in anticipation, cursing quietly and eyes closing, head thrown back. He kneeled down, grabbing both cheeks and licking over and between them, tongue sliding in easily and enjoying the way the body shivered at the contact.

“Holy fucking shit,” Hyungwon cursed and Hoseok could hear how the palms slid along the wall as the lower body attempted to push further against his mouth, desiring more of the feeling. “Fuck, Hoseok, fuck me with your tongue.”    
  
He complied immediately, licking inside the beautiful man and enjoying every movement and the eagerness with which Hyungwon had pushed back, moaning at the reaction from the other, fueling his own desire even more. The longer he spoiled Hyungwon with his ministrations the more he could tell how the coordination disappeared, pushes against his lips more desperate just like the sounds leaving the plump lips.

“Fuck, please, Hoseok, fuck me already. I’m dying. I want you. Fucking please,” the beautiful low voice mumbled, head thrown from side to side as teeth kept abusing the lower lip.

Hoseok stood up, pressing the lubed tip against the other man’s entrance, leaning in and sucking on a shoulder while pushing himself in slowly, gasping at the way it felt to be engulfed by the tightness, pleasure overflowing.

Hyungwon moaned, begging repeatedly as he threw his head back and attempted to make Hoseok speed up, hips sliding back against him, bridging a few centimeters and evoking a sound that resembled a scream from the open mouth, eyes shut in bliss.

“Fuck, please, just fuck me rough, shit.”   
  
The words were enough for him to sink his teeth into the warm shoulder, biting down and moving out before slamming back in, moan muffled against the golden skin. Hyungwon screamed as the fingers slid down the wall, failing to hold on, forehead pressing against the white surface instead, pants echoing in the room accompanied by the sound of skin slapping against skin.   
  
Repeating the movements a couple of times he found himself with the strange wish to see Hyungwon’s face, pulling out and turning the slim body around. Both hands grabbed the lean thighs, lifting the beautiful man up and letting him slide down the prominent erection, while focusing on the ethereal face. Thin arms curled around his neck as lips attached to his, moaning into his mouth and holding on desperately.

“Do what you want to me, make sure I don’t forget,” the low voice whispered against his lips, every word soaked in desperation and eyes remaining focused on his own, not closing despite the intensity of the perceptions, screaming into his face at each thrust.   
  
Something changed inside his chest, it seemed as if it had been the way he had breathed, lungs not letting enough air in, reducing the capacity and making him crave for oxygen. He wanted to say something but bit on his lower lip instead, lifting the almost weightless body up and basically dropping it on himself, moaning loudly, eyes wide open. 

It felt intense, burying himself inside Hyungwon while staring at him, receiving a gaze of the same impact in return as the lips parted in a mixture of loud moans and intense screams, body contracting around him and long legs tightening with each movement as the hands held on desperately, scratching over his back and pulling his hair.   
  
“Shit, you’re driving me absolutely crazy, I have no idea what’s happening,” he breathed out, before leaning in and kissing the beautifully parted lips, licking inside the warm mouth, moving his hips in the process.

“I have never wanted something as much as I want you, Hoseok. Mark me, leave something that reminds me,” the younger man gasped against his lips, voice strangely emotional and long fingers intertwining with the black strands of his hair. “Please.”   
  
The feeling in his chest returned and he kept staring at the dark eyes, the thin blue stripe outlining the fact that it was the actual colour. His lips parted while his body remained absolutely still, no noise besides the harsh pants that were coming out of his own and Hyungwon’s mouth.   
  
“You, when I look at you, it feels-” There was not enough air to complete the sentence and he sucked in another breath before continuing. “It feels as if the night sky is looking back at me.” 

A painful sensation filled his senses as he bit down on his lower lip right after, forcing himself to shut up, still holding the other man in place, gaze focused on the beautiful darkness, letting his senses go nuts and drowning in the immense intensity.   
  
_ You’re insane, Hoseok. _ _   
_

_   
_ ***

Gaping emptiness. Moist dread. 

That's what it felt like. Similar to the impression when one stood above a manhole, cover removed and gazing inside, darkness and wetness intermingling and brain knowing exactly that it wasn't a desirable place to be.

Just that it was as if he stood right in the middle of it and couldn't step out, cover shamelessly shutting right above him as small rays of light entering through the lid reminded him of what he was missing. 

_ But why? _

The sensation didn't make sense because ending a work trip wasn't supposed to feel like that and neither was ending something that appeared like a holiday supposed to be as detrimental as it was. 

_ You act as if someone is about to die, Hyungwon.  _

He had attempted to distract himself, drowning in work, reading without a break and throwing himself into identifying with the character in the story to not think about himself and the fact that he was scared. 

Just that the character was impossibly infatuated with a young boy, obsessed even, and the thought hit home harder than Hyungwon would have wanted it to.

_ Just the other way around.  _

He had thrown himself into every action, every dance move and every touch as he spent time with Hoseok, basking in the contact and begging for it to stay with him, to remain between his fingertips, held tightly and unable to escape from his grip.

Feeling the older man inside of him he just let go, desperation taking over as he repeatedly begged the black-haired to engrave a mark, to have something to hold onto, to remember what happened, how he felt and how he thought. It seemed important, impossible to leave behind and live without.

Breathing in the intoxicating scent of coffee, cake and sex he attached himself further, large blue eyes fixed on the beautiful face and moans leaving his lips as Hoseok thrust up inside of him. They seemed connected, time flowing slowly as their eyes met, gazes remaining on each other and harsh breaths leaving their parted lips. It was otherworldly. 

“You, when I look at you, it feels-” The older man gasped, attempting to speak further and struggling with lack of oxygen, licking over his lips. “It feels as if the night sky is looking back at me.” 

_ You make him feel something, Hyungwon. You're like the sky, he feels drawn to you.  _

A gasp left his lips as his hands pressed into the firm muscles of the shoulders and he stared, understanding finally dawning on him. It seemed clear suddenly, why he felt so desperate, why he kept wanting to be reminded of what they had and what they had done. 

_ What you have is dying. You are the one dying, Hyungwon.  _

_ Tomorrow it will all be over.  _

“Then don't look away,” he whispered against the curved mouth, chest constricting in the familiar but strange way, sensation spreading out through his lungs and stomach, tingling remaining and only fuelling his desire to kiss the other man, to touch him and to never let go. 

“I should look away but I can't.” Intense eyes settled on him, gaze almost black, eating every thought and every single molecule of oxygen flowing around in the room. 

“I want you to put me on the bed, Hoseok, I want to feel more of you,” Hyungwon gasped and purposefully contracted around the older man, wishing to be more intimate, closer. “Spoil me,” he added, hoping it would remove some of the intensity, make it more sexual again. 

_ Why do you want the emotionality? You're making it harder on yourself.  _

He didn't care. He wanted it. 

The muscular arms carried him away from the rough surface of the wall, back resting on the silky sheets of the bed. The beautiful face, framed by black bangs appeared in his sight. The older man leaned in, sliding his lips over the skin of his neck and chest, adding little licks here and there, a hand travelling up his thigh and index finger stroking over his length, sending shivers down his spine.    
  
“I’ll give you everything you want. Today. Just tell me, you’ll get it.” The voice sounded strangely emotional. The gentle touch of the warm hands and lips lingered on his skin, although the fingers had already left it.

_ You’re not the only one like this. _

“Kiss me while holding me in your arms,” Hyungwon whispered, not feeling ready to speak louder than that, fear of breaking the moment numbing his senses and burning along his veins. He stretched out his arms, reaching for the older man. His desires were absolutely non sexual although arousal set him ablaze.

The muscular arms curled around him as Hoseok turned him to the side, lying down across, face so close that their noses were touching. A thick thigh slipped between his legs and he was pressed flush against the hot body, lips touching so lightly it felt like a breath, before a hot tongue licked over his lower lip, black eyes focused on his. 

His chest burned at the sensation, bodily warmth seeping through his skin and spreading inside of him, invisible fist clenching around his lungs at the same time, a whiplash of opposing emotions. Instead of closing his eyes and focusing on the sensations, he was unable to break the eye contact, staring back at Hoseok, almost shivering at the attention the older man granted him and kissing back.

“I want you to leave a mark,” he whispered against the curved mouth, desperation taking over, valuing the proximity more merely because of the knowledge that it would be gone soon, forbidden even.   
  
“What kind of mark do you want, Hyungwon?” Hoseok whispered against his lips, catching the lower one with his teeth, and hips moving against his lower body sensually. 

Biting down on his plump lower lip Hyungwon glanced down towards the muscular chest, flush against his, before letting long fingers run over the older man’s sides, touch light and caressing the exposed skin. Hoseok was beyond beautiful, each touch only fueling the tension and warmth in his chest, desiring to attach himself and not let go, forget about everything else.

“I want everything that you are willing to grant me.” He inhaled harshly, trying to convince himself to remain silent, to not empty out his emotional state in the form of words, but it was futile. “Make me feel wanted.”   
  
“You have no idea. For you, it’s having fun with your boss while being strangely infatuated, for me it’s going absolutely nuts and against everything I consider okay.” Hoseok hissed against his mouth, fingers digging into his sides painfully. “That’s how much I want you.” 

“What makes you think that it’s okay for me, Hoseok? Are you inside my head? Do you have any idea how much my emotions are just going berserk on me while I’m trying to remain sane?” he exclaimed, nails burying into the older man’s skin and pushing his hips closer, nibbling on the beautiful lips and basking in the way they tasted, numbing his senses. “I have just forsaken my sanity already. I want this too much.”   
  
“You were the one to propose it. You were the one to fucking dry my hair and massage me. What sanity?” Lips attached to his neck, sucking on the smooth surface, naked skin brushing against his, warmth transcending between their bodies as if they were one. “But fuck, somehow I can’t resist.” 

_ He’s right. You were the one who started, thinking it was all fun and games. It escalated because of you, Hyungwon. _

“I enjoyed teasing you, seeing you react and slip out of your controlled distance,” Hyungwon whispered, outburst passing just as it came and words barely audible, arousal crawling up his legs and spreading from his groin like poison through the bloodstream. “I never thou- never thought it would be like this, Hoseok. Please don’t let go.”

He bit his lip, moaning softly at the way the older man administered kisses and small bites to his neck, marks light and probably enough to last the night, but no longer.   
  
“I knew that you underestimated it but I still played along, like an irresponsible teenager, but let’s think about it tomorrow, I want to feel you, I want to see all of you.” Hoseok turned them, hovering above him again, breaths hitting his lips, as the other man lubed up once again and slid inside him smoothly, eyes closing in front of him and a low moan leaving the curled lips.

Hyungwon felt on fire, eyes closing automatically at the sensation and throwing his hands above his head, leaving them there as he tightened his thighs around Hoseok’s hips, wishing to feel as much of the older man as possible, greedy for everything the other was willing to give him.

“I will show you everything if you will do the same,” he moaned, feeling how the firm erection slipped out of him just to thrust back inside again, hitting perfectly and evoking a scream from his throat. It was intensive enough to sink one hand into the black strands and pull harshly before it fell motionlessly above his head again. “You can have everything you want from me as long as you show me. I want to see.”   
  
The black gaze was more than intense, not moving away from his face as Hoseok placed both of his legs on his shoulders and bent him in half by leaning in, placing kisses around the corners of his mouth. The other man slid out and slammed back into him, mouth opening and eyes widening, low voice groaning his name while staring right into his soul.

Hyungwon couldn’t help but scream at the electric shock that passed through his limbs at the movement, body convulsing but eyes unable to break the contact, remaining connected to the dark gaze. The gorgeous features were expressing every possible emotion, every little jerk and adjustment visible. It was mesmerizing and impossibly beautiful. He moaned and lifted his right hand, reaching for the pale cheek, cupping the beautiful face while stroking a thumb over the parted lips, own mouth opened at the sight, emotions threatening to overflow.

“You’re beautiful, Hoseok,” he murmured before screaming into the older man’s face again, forcing his eyes to remain opened despite the effort, pleasure seeping through every pore in his body.   
  
“I want you to sit on my lap,” the low voice breathed as Hoseok pulled out completely and sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing his wrist and pulling him up. Hyungwon followed, biting his lip and nodding, tingling sensation still travelling over his skin and reminding him how his body burned up only seconds ago, melting at the older man’s touch.

He curled his slim arms around Hoseok’s neck as he lifted a leg and placed it on the other side of the black-haired man’s thick thighs. Licking over his lips shortly he pulled at the silky strands once before letting go and sliding his right hand along the muscular body, travelling downwards. Reaching the firm thighs he curled his fingers around the gorgeous erection, lining it up with his body, sitting down smoothly and staring at the older man below him, lips almost touching and each breath caressing his skin, eyes closing in reflex whenever there was a harsh exhale.    
  
Hoseok lifted his hips and buried himself deeper inside him, exhaling harshly and raising his gaze.    
  
“It really looks like the sky. The desert sky.”

It was supposed to be simple, bodily, reducing arousal by having sex. But each time Hoseok uttered something emotional Hyungwon’s chest burned up with the same damn sensation, stealing his breath away and fueling his want to throw himself at the older man, give him every fucking thing he desired although it was pathetic. Words weren’t supposed to evoke such reactions, not unless there were genuine feelings involved.

“Will you be able to look away?” Hyungwon asked, uncertainty mixing into his expression, stupid hope remaining that the older man would change his mind once they returned. But it was ridiculous, utopic, there was no other way except for returning to their routine. They had a clearly defined relationship and blurring the borders wasn’t possible once they were back in Paris.

_ You keep thinking, since when do you think when he’s around you? Just melt. _ _   
_ _   
_ “I’ll be okay as long as I keep my eyes closed,” Hoseok muttered, not sounding confident and moving his hips once again, expression so impossibly affected. “You’re beautiful, you really are.” 

Hyungwon leaned closer, passing the mesmerizing face and licking over the shell of the pretty ear, breathing into it as his thighs shivered from the sensation, taking some of his confidence with the way his body revealed everything. “I thought you aren’t affected by pretty boys. Is it my eyes, then? What drives you crazy, Hoseok?”

He needed to know. If the reactions could be explained it was easier to stop them from happening, eventually dealing with a merely platonic work relationship that was fuelled by mutual disinterest and distance.   
  
“I don’t care about pretty boys. I don’t care about blue eyes, or the amount of literature analysis you did in school. The way you react when I look at you, how you try to hold on to the tiny signs of my attraction and use them to get the things you want, how you basically fight and deny me before basically throwing all of yourself at me. It drives me absolutely nuts. The eyes, they’re just looking at me like the desert sky, but they could also stop. I think the reason I feel like looking at the night sky is because I’m more than a bit of fun abroad to you.” Hoseok came closer, eyes piercing through him again, hot, shaky breaths leaving the addicting mouth, hands holding onto his waist, as if realizing that it was the last time. 

Hyungwon’s eyes widened and he felt his heart hammering in his chest and loud thumping appearing in his ears, body feeling hot while he remained motionless, fear suddenly spiking up.

_ More than a bit of fun abroad? _

He wasn’t stupid. He had thought about it, a little bit, considered whether he was more than merely sexually infatuated with his boss, enjoying their conversations and sucking up every word that left the curved mouth as if it was state law. He had attempted to avoid thinking about it as it created a disadvantage for him, being the one who desired their contact more, emotional attachment causing him to become hurt over rejection. It was immature considering their push and pull relationship.

_ But it’s not enough to stay, is it? It’s just temporary, like a crush that fades with sufficient distance. _

“It’ll fade,” Hyungwon whispered, clashing their mouths together to convince himself of the meaning behind the words, pressing his hips down onto Hoseok to add friction and cloud his mind on purpose, turning his surroundings into irrelevant blurriness and Hoseok into the object of his attention. “I want you, so give yourself to me.”   
  
“Myself? I don’t know if I can do that.” The muscular arms lifted his hips before rolling them down in a smooth motion, hips thrusting up and hitting the spot almost immediately. Hyungwon moaned, holding a hand over his mouth to stop it halfway, staring at Hoseok as his body shivered at the intensity of the sensation again.

_ Don’t always give him everything. Get a fucking grip. It’s the last time but you’ll just seem fucking desperate. _

The problem was that he was, dread immediately returning at the thought of not touching the older man. Still he swallowed it down and narrowed his eyes, adding confidence to his gaze despite his moan.

“Isn’t that unfair though if you desire to see all of me?”   
  
A smirk appeared on the curved lips, hands pressing against his thighs.   
  
“Isn’t it the essence of greed? Having unrealistic expectations? But then again you’re showing me so much more than I expected so I keep getting greedy for more.”

Hyungwon rolled his hips, biting down on his lower lip to shut the fuck up as he watched the older man’s face, body contracting around the erection inside of him at the same time, adding friction. It was like a way to protect himself, teasing to regain control, to not be the desperate one, the one who desired the touch more than anything else, willing to beg for it if necessary.

“Aren’t you the one who promoted the mutual benefits of deals? Shouldn’t you offer me something in return?”   
  
“I really want you to scream into my face again.” The handsome face came closer, head tilting to the side as the white, straight teeth sunk into the red bottom lip. “I might grant you one wish for that.” 

Hyungwon bit his lip, desire to jump in on the deal sudden and overwhelming, but it was too simple, he couldn’t just do that. Rolling his hips again he lifted the corner of his mouth, exhaling against the mouth that was attached to his.

“What happened to giving me everything today? That’s what you told me only a few minutes ago.”   
  
“It was before you started a discussion while sitting on my dick.” The hot tongue parted his lips and licked inside while the muscular arms lifted his hips again, rolling them down and pressing his lower body further into the other man’s lap. Hyungwon gasped at the motion, unable to help it and sound easily caught by the delicious tongue licking into his mouth.

“I wasn't technically on your dick, you were hugging me. B-but let’s not be that picky,” he remarked as his voice already lost most of its bite, motion burning up the arousal that had only waited to hit him full force, reminding him of the way it felt when the older man fucked him harshly, white sparks exploding in front of his eyes. Another roll of the hips inside of him, hands lifting him up to add intensity, did the rest. “Shit, deal, make me scream.”   
  
Hoseok simply stood up, holding him in place and walked over to the familiar table, letting him down and placing both of his legs over the muscular shoulders. The painfully familiar gaze settled on his face as the other man moved back, slamming into him full force, bending him and lifting his lower body up during the motion.

Hyungwon screamed, white colors exploding behind his eyelids as he hit his head against the wooden surface and attempted to hold onto something, nails scratching over the desk before his fingertips found the muscular arms holding him and travelled along them instead, bright lines remaining on the pale skin.    
  
“It’s fine, scratch as much as you like,” the low voice groaned, repeating the motion and picking up pace, harsh exhales escaping through the parted lips, moans filling the acoustic space. 

It was impossibly attractive, his own bodily sensations mixing with the sounds of the other man and the expressive face, reactions easily traceable and absolutely mesmerizing to watch, even if the roughness of the pleasure overwhelmed Hyungwon. He threw his head from side to side, burying his nails in every patch of skin he could find, unaware of what he was doing as his thighs kept contracting with each thrust, screams leaving his parted lips and setting everything around him ablaze.

“Leave a fucking mark, Hoseok, don’t let me forget,” he screamed, bruising the pale shoulders and groaning right after, pleasure burning through his veins and fueling the desperation he had hoped to subdue. “Something that stays longer than a fucking day, shit.”   
  
Another rough thrust followed while the other man leaned closer, sinking his teeth into the soft skin of his shoulder, much more painful than it had been before, biting down and licking over the bruise immediately, kissing the edges and going up his neck, whispering ‘Sorry I couldn’t resist’ into his ear before gracing him with another sensation by slamming his hips right into his body.

The combination was too much, arousal building up like the time before fireworks, sizzling sounding as you knew it was about to hit you, coil tightening until it suddenly released. Hyungwon screamed the older man’s name right into his mesmerizing face, body tensing impossibly and liquid pleasure seeping through every pore until the energy left him like a shutdown button and he let his head hit the desk again, this time voluntarily, harsh breaths leaving his lips and lungs desperately sucking in more oxygen to compensate.

_ Fuck, he didn’t even touch you properly, Hyungwon. _   
  
“Wow, holy fuck,” the other man panted while still leaning over him, arms propped against the dark wood.

“I want to see you come, Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered, eyes opening and focusing properly on the pale face, surrounded by raven-black strands, sweat drops covering the forehead and the chest, some running down the defined abs. A single drop travelled past a defined chest muscle, reflecting some of the lap light, looking ethereal. Hyungwon bit his lip and stared, keeping the eye contact to express some of the heat he felt, wanting to let the older man know without using words, show him how he made him feel.   
  
Pulling out almost completely, Hoseok leaned back a little and thrust into him once again, still paying attention to hitting the spot right and moaning in the beautiful low voice, eyes half lidded, but focused on his face, gaze switching between impossibly intense and full of bliss. It took a couple of rough movements before the muscular body tensed and he felt the prominent erection twitch inside him, as Hoseok released himself with a rough moan, almost collapsing on top of him, elbows holding the heavy body up.

Hyungwon immediately curled his arms around the neck, stroking over the sensitive skin and feeling how the surface felt rougher at spots he must have scratched with his nails while being delirious. He let his long fingers sink into the silky hair and stroked over it, breathing into the older man’s ear and not giving a single shit that Hoseok was bending him in half. He wanted to say something, anything, but all of it sounded too emotional for the situation, only fueling the fact that the proximity was merely until the next morning. 

_ Keep it as long as you can. _

He crossed his legs behind Hoseok’s head and remained fully connected, closing his eyes and trying to commit to memory how it felt, warm skin against his, the older man inside of him, soft strands between his fingers, warm skin against his chest and his thighs and calves. The pale skin was in such contrast to his own, gold pressing against white, both flush against each other and tainted with light red.   
  
“It’s simply insane.” The air hit his lips as a drop of sweat fell down on his chest. Hyungwon grabbed Hoseok’s face with both of his palms and lifted it such that he could kiss the curved lips, pressing lightly against them with his own and remaining like that, just enjoying the way they felt against his own.

“It is,” he whispered against them without leaning back, warmth remaining at his lips and moving from the plump surface, over his neck to his chest, spreading there and burning him up.   
  
The other man kissed back before pulling out and getting rid of the condom and coming back with tissues, cleaning him up, soft strokes caressing his stomach and thighs, accompanied by harsh exhales. Hoseok lifted his body, carrying him to the bed and letting his back touch the soft sheets, crawling next to him.    
  
“Do you intend to be spoiled further?” A small smile appeared on the handsome face, as the older man brushed back the black bangs, revealing the pale forehead. Hyungwon couldn’t resist smiling back. The way the lifted corners of the beautiful curved lips lit up the whole face was addicting, sending little sparks of euphoria through his stomach.

“Sure, if you’re offering,” he answered and stretched out his arms, smile remaining despite his teasing tone. There was something about the older man that made him want to hug him and never let go. Something strange happened, as Hoseok propped up on one elbow, intense look sliding over his body before closing the dark eyes slowly and embracing him.

_ Why? _

Hyungwon closed his arms around the neck and stroked over the skin, enjoying the warmth and watching the calm facial expression instead of burying his head in the strong shoulder. Hoseok looked different with his eyes closed and body relaxed, less intimidating, but no less stunning. Lifting his right hand Hyungwon brushed a stray strand from the soft face, stroking over a pale cheek and brushing the curved lips with his thumb, overwhelmed by the proximity and calmness of the action.

_ There is no arousal and still you want him close. You’re doomed, Hyungwon, you fucking idiot. _ _   
_ _   
_ The expression on the other man’s face changed, despite the closed eyes, alternating depending on the touch Hyungwon was providing and creating a picture he didn’t see before. He continued, keeping one hand on the beautiful face as the other stroked over the naked arms and waist, caressing the skin lightly, enjoying the touch without any repercussions, no need to explain himself. Hyungwon realized that it was the first time he had seen Hoseok not staring at him or anywhere else, as the other man had always been awake first. A hand went up to his shoulder, stroking along the line of his neck, tracing the features of his face. Hoseok’s eyes were still closed when the index finger slid over the shape of his lips and the other leaned in, kissing him.

It was so overwhelming, emotions rushing over him and clogging his throat, a gasp leaving his lips as he shut his eyes as well, focusing on the way the warm lips moved against his, the way the older man smelled like coffee and cake, the way Hoseok’s hand held his face.

“I think I’m hooked,” Hyungwon whispered, shocked at the words that left his lips but unwilling to open his eyes, hands remaining on the warm skin of Hoseok’s waist and the features of the older man’s face, fingers sinking into the soft hair slowly. He heard the low voice humm in agreement.   
  
“It’s a limited state. It’ll turn into something else.” The other didn’t sound very positive about his own words. Hyungwon felt the lips against his neck, muscular body intertwining with his, not leaving room for air or anything else, letting them seem like a single entity.

“I know,” he whispered back, repeating the words in his head and hoping it would make them more true.

_ You don’t know, you’re not home yet. Maybe it will be easier with the distance, brain too occupied to get by financially and to fulfil tasks at 10PM. _

He curled his body further around the muscular man and desperately wished to not have to stand up, prepare for bed or any of those other useless actions, only stealing away valuable time that he could have spent surrounded by warm arms.

“Can I sleep in your arms?” he asked, pressing his head further into the warm shoulder and breathing in the familiar scent. Hoseok stroked over his hair and hummed in agreement, pulling the blanket over both of them. Hyungwon rearranged his body, slipping further down on the bed to be able to rest his head on the warm chest properly, arms curled around Hoseok’s waist and one leg thrown over the muscular body.

_ It would be great if time could stop now. _

_ But it won’t.  
  
_

_

  
Hyungwon was woken up by shuffling sounds. Opening his eyes he spotted the muscular black-haired man packing his luggage. The black suit pants hugged the muscular thighs while the white suit shirt complimented the other man’s build to an extent that it hadn’t been funny anymore.    
  
“I let you sleep for a long time, but you’ll have to get up now. We only have half an hour to pack and go down,” the low voice informed him while folding a pair of blue ripped jeans and storing it inside the black suitcase slowly.

Sleep was still clouding his mind, unaware of what was going on as he curled up and buried his face in the pillow, not willing to be confronted with the older man in well fitted suit pants before having brushed his teeth.    
  
“Seriously though, its eleven, if you wait a little longer we won’t have time for a coffee at the airport, and I can’t do that.” A low chuckle graced his ears, echoing through the hotel room. 

_ The flight.  _

Hyungwon jumped up immediately, adrenaline rushing through his veins at the fact that Hoseok had let him sleep until there was only half an hour left to get ready. To shower, pack his things and dress. 

“Why the fuck didn't you wake me up earlier, Hoseok?” he exclaimed as he crawled down from the bed, remembering his nakedness and wincing at the sudden stabbing pain in his back.

_ He fucked you yesterday.  _

_ For the last time.  _

The discomfort and mental switch was sudden as he grabbed a random towel from a side drawer and covered his hips with it, unsure about how to behave and what to do except for hurrying the fuck up to get the plane.    
  
“Because you were really tired, I asked you whether you needed more time and you told me that you didn’t need anything besides sleep.” The older man grinned. “And you looked really pretty, so how could I’ve woken you up like this. You know I can’t say no.” 

_ Why is he complimenting you? Did he do that before as well? _

Hyungwon couldn’t remember, all patterns of behaviour that Hoseok had showed before they had gotten involved erased from his mind. Uncomfortable he shifted and walked towards the bathroom. 

“Why would you listen to anything anybody says while half asleep? Doesn't sound very reliable to me,” he commented before closing the door behind himself and focusing on the tasks at hand, showering quickly, ignoring the soreness and immediately pulling clothes over his naked skin as soon as he left the room again. 

“Your schedule is fully arranged for the next three weeks,” he remarked, concentrating on work and folding various pieces of clothing into his luggage.    
  
The other walked over, grabbing his chin with thumb and index finger, tilting his head and leaning closer.   
  
“You can tell me about it after we’ve walked out of the plane. Did you forget that you’re still in the deal until then? Or did you change your mind?” Hoseok breathed hot air over his lips.

Hyungwon's body immediately burned up, lips parting and erasing every coherent thought he had prepared in advance, leaving the loud hammering of his heart and the sensation of fingers against his chin.

“Is that possible though? There are people everywhere,” he murmured, not sure if he would be able to act affectionate around the other man with a plane filled with business class men and women, some of which knew Hoseok from work and got to know Hyungwon as his assistant. “People that know you.”   
  
“Wow, now you’re also worrying about me. Well never mind if you changed your mind then.” The fingers loosened their grip and the other man turned around continuing packing, as if nothing had happened.

_ You're letting him slip away, only to be met with distance.  _

The sudden stab in his chest was immediate, panic rising and forcing him to grab the pale wrist and turn the muscular man around, attaching himself to his neck and closing the distance between their lips, gasping into the kiss.    
  
The way strong arms curled around his waist almost immediately sent sparks through his body, warm tongue licking over his lower lip before placing a short kiss on his nose.    
  
“I told you I’m in until we leave the plane. You can decide what you want, it’s fine.” A beautiful smile appeared on the handsome face. 

Hyungwon's chest burned up at the sight and he nodded, overwhelmed by the affection the older man displayed towards him. It was so different from the prior distance until he had cracked and fucked him on a table. Swallowing audibly while still hoping that Hoseok hadn't realised Hyungwon returned to his luggage and finished packing, just on time for them to leave. 

For the first time in his life he wished for a plane to be delayed.    
  
The flight lasted for about four and a half hours. Hoseok had spent most of them working on his laptop, preparing presentations and writing a lot of things into different documents. The captain announced the landing and he felt pressure inside his ears.

Hyungwon loved landing, it was the most exciting part of flying, just like the start. Those two moments were the ones where most individuals felt fear, realizing that they were flying through the air and leaving the save ground, but to Hyungwon it was the excitement of knowing that he was finally somewhere else, finally in the air just like the short moment before the wheels touched the ground sent adrenaline through his veins. 

It was different this time, airplane touching the ground roughly, adrenaline spiking up just to make way for the sight of the Parisian airport, painfully familiar and reminding Hyungwon of the fact that the deal was over. It was like he had been living in a bubble for the past few days, protected and taken care off just to be confronted with what life was really like, responsibilities and consequences raining down on him although he hadn't even left his seat yet. 

It had been just a matter of time until the bubble would have popped. 

Taking a deep breath and preparing himself for distance he glanced to his left, watching Hoseok preparing to get off the plane, attempting to understand what he was thinking, whether he struggled just as much or easily slipped into the practised indifference.    
  
The handsome man looked at him, something in the gaze changing.    
  
“Could you go out first? I’ll need a minute, let’s meet at the baggage claim.” 

Hyungwon's eyes widened shortly before he nodded, remembering to keep his cool and grabbing his laptop bag. A hand was placed on his thigh and the black haired man waited until their eyes met.  
  
“Thank you. It was really beautiful, looking at the desert sky.” Hoseok kissed the index finger of his right hand slowly, reaching out and pressing it against Hyungwon's lips lightly, before turning around as if nothing happened. 

The air that he had breathed in remained stuck in his lungs, overwhelmed by the emotional gratefulness and the gesture. His lungs and chest were burning with the effort to remember what he was doing and what he had to do, seconds passing with him remaining frozen in his seat. 

_ He's thankful. So it's really goodbye now.  _

His eyes burned but it was stupid. Taking another deep breath he stood up, making sure he took his jacket and all his belongings, taking a glance at Hoseok before passing the older man's seat. Just to drop his things to the ground and turn around again, grabbing the pale face between his palms and pressing his lips to it for a few seconds, lips burning up and numbing his senses. 

Sucking in air through his open mouth Hyungwon closed his eyes for a while, calming his breath and finally turning back to his jacket and bag, heart hammering in his chest and fear too overwhelming to look at Hoseok’s reaction. Not saying another word he swallowed deeply and left the plane.    


_ Would be nice if you could also have no regrets. Just like him. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're back, look forward to how it will turn out as soon as they start working again ;-)
> 
> Next Update on the 5th of May at 2 PM CET.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m pretty sure I didn’t hire you to comfort me in my office at midnight.”

It was dark when he opened his eyes, a look around revealed his gigantic bedroom, brown wood and the reflection of his alarm clock, projecting the time on the ceiling.   
  
_5 AM. Again._ _  
_ _  
_ He tried to close his eyes, but it was too late, sleep was already far away, beautiful nothingness replaced by thoughts, immediately starting to rotate inside his head.   
  
_Isn’t it calm to know that everything returned back? Since when is your insomnia so bad?_ _  
_ _  
_ It wasn’t calm. He somehow kept thinking about the way he had slept when the thin body lay over him, arms curled around his shoulders, hot breath hitting his skin, so regular and calm that he was able to fall asleep much easier. But he wasn’t there, Hyungwon was his assistant, reduced to a working relationship for both of their sakes.   
  
_Especially for him. There was so much emotion involved, there’s no way you can continue this._ _  
_ _  
_ Hoseok had honestly thought about the possibility of continuing the occasional sexual contact, under the premise that it stayed purely sexual. But it didn’t   
  
_Also not from your side. What were you thinking, telling him he looked like the night sky in the desert?_ _  
_ _  
_ He had been overwhelmed by the amount of reaction and emotionality soaking the other man’s actions, clouding his own senses and sending them into overdrive.   
  
_But it’s over, Hoseok. Think about important things._ _  
_ _  
_ He stood up, peeling the clothes from his wardrobe, remembering the meeting with his lawyer and picking the more elegant white silk shirt and black suit pants with stripes. The familiar sound of the coffee mill and practiced movements calmed him down a little as the hot liquid made its way into his mouth, painting everything in the delicious scent of black coffee.   
  
It was half past six when he parked the Porsche into the designated spot, walked over to the building and passed through the swinging door.   
  
“How was Tel Aviv?” Kihyun’s voice greeted him cheerfully from the left as he tried to get to his office without talking to people. He stopped, brushing his hair back.   
  
“Nice. Hot weather, I met Amelia, she told me to greet you. Also shit loads of idiots, the usual.”   
  
The other man’s gaze narrowed a little and an apparent grin spread over the thin lips.   
  
“Thanks, she probably asked why you were alone. By the way I just got the invoice from the hotel, you were together in a double room. You didn’t kill him or anything right? ”   
  
_Oh no._ _  
_ _  
_ “The hotel thought we were a gay couple on our honeymoon, but it was okay. He’ll come at half past eight I guess, like always.” He tried to look unbothered, playing with the strap on his laptop bag.   
  
“It was okay being a gay couple on your honeymoon?” Kihyun started laughing like a maniac before turning to the screen and searching for something. “Ah right, as Hyungwon doesn’t coordinate your lawyer appointments, Changkyun called yesterday saying he’ll come over at eight.”   
  
Hoseok nodded in agreement and entered his office finally, placing the laptop on the table and walking along the countless book shelves. His employees were the best and had sorted everything, placing a couple more shelves into the room so everything fit. His eyes stopped on ‘Death in Venice’ and he pulled the book out, sitting down on the red leather and opening it, eyes sliding over the printed ink.   
  
He basically drowned in the writing before a knock on the door ripped him out of his thoughts. He hummed and his lawyer walked in, wearing a dark grey suit with a blue tie, black hair falling over the forehead, smiling brightly.   
  
“Hoseok, how was your trip?” The shorter man walked over and gave him a hug before pulling a file out of the black leather bag and distributing documents all over the place.   
  
“It was fine, please tell me that she is going to sell.” The desperation was almost visible in his features, of that he was sure.   
  
_You need it to be free._ _  
_ _  
_ “Unfortunately not. How can a person be that persistent? I don’t think it’s money that she wants. You have eight months until a possible lawsuit, at the earliest, we should get it out of the way before that.” Changkyun looked apologetic while showing him the way the company shares were distributed at the moment. “She basically told me she won’t lift a finger before you ask her yourself. I won’t ask about your personal problems, but if you need her to sell it, you might need to talk to her.”   
  
_For fuck’s sake._ _  
_ _  
_ He nodded shortly and took the pile of documents his friend prepared, placing them on his table. A friendly hug followed and his lawyer walked over to the door opening it but not going out for some reason. A second look revealed the reason, as Hyungwon was standing in front of it ready to knock.   
  
“Ah, you must be Hoseok’s new assistant, I’m his lawyer, Lim Changkyun, nice to meet you.” His friend shook the younger man’s hand and turned around, smiling.

Hyungwon appeared off guard by the sudden opening of the door, eyes widening before he visibly relaxed and smiled brightly, returning the hand shake and glancing at Hoseok shortly before immediately returning his gaze to the lawyer.

“I wasn’t aware that the company had a personal lawyer, but it’s a pleasure to meet you.”  
  
“Ah, I’m not only the company’s lawyer, I’m also Hoseok’s lawyer, but as he’s also the CEO I guess I also do some company work.” Changkyun smiled brightly and patted Hyungwon’s shoulder before turning around to Hoseok.   
  
“Think about it, it might be a better choice to talk to her.”   
  
Hoseok shook his head slowly, biting down on his lower lip and raising a hand to say bye. _  
_ _  
_ _There’s no fucking way you’ll talk to her._

Hyungwon just nodded at the leaving black-haired man, smile in place before it lost some of its brightness and he walked towards Hoseok, printed pages in hand.

“I have arranged the final version of the collaboration contract that we would be proposing. I would like you to look over it before I send it over, Mr. Shin,” he pronounced carefully and stared at the paper instead of at Hoseok, visibly struggling to keep distance. The younger man wasn’t even really in front of his desk yet, just close enough to put the bulk of papers on it.

He couldn't suppress a jerk at the mention of his last name, fingers clenching into fists on the white surface.

“Chill, Hyungwon. I'm a little out of it, so I'll look over it later. I want you to come to my office at twelve, there's something I want you to do,” Hoseok basically shot out like a gun, closing his eyes in the process, thoughts battling each other.   
  
_You need those shares, Hoseok, you fucking need them._

He could hear the gasp that left the younger man's lips as all of the paper weight landed on his desk, sound dull. A few moments passed, filled with silence and quiet breaths until steps of leather shoes entered his ears and the door of the neighbouring office closed quietly.

Only a few minutes later the door opened again and Hyungwon reappeared, chewing on his cheek and placing a filled cup of coffee on his desk. He crossed his arms and played with the sleeve of his suit jacket.

“Anything else I can do to help you return to your senses, Mr. Shin?”

“Stop calling me Mr. Shin.” Hoseok looked up, intense gaze returning and settling on the other man's ethereal face.   
  
_You can’t be thinking about your handsome assistant, you have real life problems._

Hyungwon was obviously uncomfortable, rubbing the sole of his shoe over the ground and staring back. His face appeared relaxed but the bodily signs were clear as day.

“I told you that it helps me to build distance. I feel like now I need it more than ever,” Hyungwon replied and chewed on his cheek again, light brown hair styled up as usual and showing the forehead. The tight suit was simply black, only the tie adding deep blue colour, fitting to the large eyes.   
  
It wasn’t the desert sky, but it was equally beautiful.

“Fuck my life.” Sighing deeply, he buried his face in both palms, feeling the heartbeat pump through the skin. “Whatever makes you sleep at night then. See you at 12.” He didn't raise his head, listening to the familiar thumping and trying to get his life together.

“Enjoy your coffee,” Hyungwon remarked before walking through the door into his office again, leaving Hoseok alone with the silence.   
  
_It’s your fault, why did you start all this in the first place when nothing is settled? You’re tied up and you can’t move and still you find time to do unnecessary stuff und make your work relationships complex for no reason._ _  
_ _  
_ Breathing in and out he tried to get a grip, to think about a course of action that would’ve enabled him to breathe without being forced to think about all those things that made him so incredibly uncomfortable.   
  
_Why would she try to make it worse than it is? It’s not as if you were the one who did something wrong._ _  
_ _  
_ The clock ticked as his thoughts didn’t get clearer despite the constant resources he had pressed into solving the lump in his lungs. Walking over to the couch he grabbed the book again, ‘Death in Venice’. The sentences materialized in front of his inner eye, painting a picture and letting him enter a world that was not his, a world where he was able to simply run away if it was not to his liking. A long time must’ve passed before he heard someone enter the office.

“You're reading ‘Death in Venice’?” Hyungwon's low voice asked, surprise audible. “How come?”

His assistant grabbed the chair that he had sat on during his interview and pulled it in front of the couch, sitting down and crossing his legs, expression perfectly neutral.   
  
“No particular reason,” he answered and put the book on the table before standing up and getting a couple of documents from his table.   
  
“I want you to do something, I think it’ll be a nice task for your development and also for me to see your potential better,” he started, establishing eye contact, gaze focused and serious.   
  
“You told me that you don’t really know what you want and that you have the feeling that your studies didn’t lead you anywhere. I already thought about it back then to be honest, but the timing was bad. I want you to design a HR global product for a specific customer I picked. It’s a company in London and they want to offer seminars for their executives, to make them more resilient and open to change. So the topic is change management, you have two weeks and you’re solely responsible.” Hoseok finished and observed the other man’s reactions.

The perfectly faked neutrality was completely wiped off the beautiful face, eyes wide and lips parting and closing, as if Hyungwon wasn’t sure what to say to that. The long fingers were holding a notebook and a pen, ready to take notes but instead of doing that the pen kept tapping against a slim thigh.

“But- but I’m just your assistant. Are you sure you want to trust me with something like that? What if I fuck it up?” He was worried, just like before the presentation, tension slowly transforming into light panic.  
  
“If you fuck up, I’ll give you another task that you’ll be able to do better. Being solely responsible doesn’t mean you can’t get help. I’ll help you with everything you need. You can always come in and ask me anything. It’s just that the end idea and development will be completely decided by you.” Hoseok leaned in closer and stretched out his hand, holding the information about the company and the requirements in front of Hyungwon’s face.

The attitude changed with the speed of falling cast iron, worries making way for concentration as the brown-haired accepted the papers and began reading through them, questions easily leaving his lips whenever he reached a point that he needed to clarify.

“I am assuming you won’t mind me using actually researched and verified methods instead of the stuff they write that they are using, right? I’m allowed to base it on experimental evidence and try to pull the main points from it even if its controversial, right?” The blue eyes remained on the papers, right hand quickly taking some notes. “Am I starting now, or do you need something else?”   
  
“No, nothing you are able to help me with. You can be busy starting now,” he commented with a smile on his face.   
  
_It’ll be easier for him if he’s busy_ .

“I’ll pop by when I have questions then.” A grin appeared shortly as Hyungwon immediately stood up, taking the documents and only lifting his hand in a gesture of goodbye before disappearing.  
  
“I told you it’d turn into something else,” Hoseok whispered towards the closed door.   
  
_   
  
  
The week had been hell, his restless mind gracing him with barely two or three hours sleep a night. It wasn't nearly enough to function properly, but he had still tried, tiring out his body, way after normal working hours, arriving home at two in the morning, half dead and collapsing on top of his bed. Five in the morning was always the time his consciousness returned, straining his body and mind, not giving him enough time to breathe.   
  
_You won’t talk to her and you won’t be able to live without the shares. It’s a dead end._ _  
_ _  
_ Hyungwon had been busy, reducing their interactions to a minimum. Hoseok was thankful, thankful that he didn’t have to control himself as he didn’t have any resources for that. At all. Sure, his own problems were always present, but they didn’t make the young man seem less attractive, or less smart. They also didn’t make the longing go away, no matter how fucked up his own situation was.   
  
_It’s because he gave you a timeout. An escape from your own prison._ _  
_ _  
_ It was a prison he couldn’t leave by himself.   
  
_But you also can’t use him._ _  
_ _  
_ It was Monday night. His arms hurt from propping up on the windowsill for too long. He didn’t know how long he had been staring outside, waiting for the stars to appear in the night sky and making the time pass more quickly, although it seemed to crawl slowly, like lead. Hoseok turned around and leaned against the marble surface, letting the breeze from the open window slide under his black silk shirt while throwing his head back, attempting to breathe.   
  
_It’s not because of your lungs that you can’t fucking breathe._

The weight of a warm palm landed on his right shoulder, fingers long and easily reaching until the collarbone as a slim figure appeared next to him, also leaning against the marble.

“Why are you still here?” Hyungwon’s low voice asked, close to his ear but still quiet, fitting to the time of night.  
  
“I work here. Why are you not home yet?” He kept his eyes closed, head still thrown back and sucking in another breath. Hyungwon chuckled, fingers on Hoseok’s shoulders squeezing shortly before they let go.

“Funnily enough I also happen to work here. The question is why you are constantly staying longer than 11PM. Is there so much to take care of? Do you need my help?”   
  
“No. Nothing you’re able to help me with.” A shudder ran through his body at the combination of his words, the low voice next to him, and the cool breeze coming from the open window. “Do you need my help?”

The beautiful man shook his head, watching him carefully before turning towards the window, breathing in the fresh air as if he had missed it as much as Hoseok did.

“Is there anything else I can do? I don’t mean to upset you but it’s clear that you aren’t at the height of your abilities. Kihyun mentioned that you were out of it during a meeting. Are you sure that there is nothing I can do?” The plump lips sucked in more fresh air as the blue eyes focused on him. “That’s what you hired me for after all.”  
  
He turned around, gaze settling on Hyungwon’s face.   
  
“I’m pretty sure I didn’t hire you to comfort me in my office at midnight.”

White teeth bit down on the lower lip as the younger man glanced to the side, shifting and sitting down properly, pulling himself on top of the marble. The palms were placed flat on the cold surface, next to the slim thighs.

“You know that’s not what I meant. I mean to take over some of your responsibilities, give you time and sleep back, if I can of course,” Hyungwon answered with his low voice, appearing rougher, probably tired just like Hoseok was.  
  
“Be careful that you don’t fall out of the window. It will be help enough. And I’m sorry, but there’s nothing you can do. Don’t feel bad and concentrate on the stuff you have to do,” Hoseok commented and walked away from the window, sitting down on the red leather couch and leaning against the backrest. He was tired but he didn’t want to sleep.

Hyungwon jumped back down and closed the window behind himself, slowly walking towards Hoseok and stopping at an arm rest, sitting down on it instead of the red leather itself.

“Why are you meeting with your lawyer? Did something happen?” he asked carefully, hands resting on the thighs and lower lip sucked into his mouth.  
  
_Because you don’t want to talk to her._ _  
_ _  
_ Hyungwon’s persistence was remarkable.   
  
“There’s something I want to buy, but the person doesn’t want to sell it, wanting things from me I am not willing to give.” Hoseok looked down at his lap and slid the index finger over the back of his hand in thought. Hyungwon hummed before sitting down on the couch after all, but leaving more space than necessary.

“Why don’t you use the same method you keep teaching me? Find something that the person wants and make sure to get it before you continue the negotiations. Maybe buy something else they want and can’t resist, such that you aren’t the only desperate one.” The younger man talked calmly, examining his face without averting his eyes.  
  
“Sure, I have what she wants. I’m just not willing to give it. It’s pretty complicated if it’s emotional. It would be easy if it was business.” Hoseok leaned his head against the leather, eyes sliding over the insane amount of books standing on the shelves.

Something must have changed as Hyungwon slid closer, crossing his legs and leaning against one arm, keeping his eyes on Hoseok’s face while chewing on his cheek.

“Find something else that you are willing to give. Or find something emotional that she won’t be able to take. Something to influence, otherwise you are just going to suffer, Hoseok,” the younger man said, words fluent and less hesitant. He seemed to abandon the distance in his behaviour.  
  
_He has no fucking idea. Don’t burden him with your complicated life._ _  
_ _  
_ “Suffering is a choice, so I’m fine.” Hoseok buried his head in both palms, feeling how the thoughts turned inside his head again.

A pleasant sensation spread along his back, soft fingertips stroking along the length of his spine, travelling back up and rubbing tenderly over his shoulder and neck.  
  
_Oh no. Not again._  
  
“You’re not,” Hyungwon whispered back, hand continuing the caresses as the slim thighs moved a little closer. “When you can’t work properly and don’t sleep you aren’t fine, Hoseok.”   
  
He froze in place, not moving and face still buried in his palms.   
  
“Hyungwon, don’t do this to me. I have no resources to push you away right now.” 

“I’m not stupid. I won’t do anything, Hoseok. Just fucking relax and stop thinking,” the low voice breathed against his ear as Hyungwon climbed on the couch, perceivable from the way the weight shifted next to him. The younger man slid behind him, placing the large hands on Hoseok’s shoulders and pushing him forward, thereby having more room for the slim hips.  
  
_He won’t. But you might._   
  
A familiar warmth spread through his skin at the body contact, muscles flexing under the slim fingers and supporting the fact that it was a bad idea. He breathed in and out harshly, closing his eyes and concentrating on the feeling alone, not saying anything, as it might’ve been stupid.

Hyungwon was focused, hands skillfully travelling over his skin and warming it up, massaging out the tension that had taken over, affecting his body as well as his mind. With each touch and each caress the younger man got a little closer, long legs spread out next to Hoseok’s thighs and fingers becoming rougher, digging into the muscles next to his spine and neck. It was merely a matter of time before his lips parted in a low moan, echoing through the empty office.

Hyungwon didn't react, completely focused on the movement of his hands, not even the gasp that Hoseok had heard the first time left the plump lips. The slim body felt hot pressing against his muscular one, hands continuously in motion as one travelled upwards to his hair, massaging along his scalp as the other loosened the tension in his neck, sensation almost painful before blissful relief took over.   
  
_He’s too close. Way too close._   
  
“Thank you,” he whispered, shifting such that Hyungwon could crawl back. The beautiful man hummed and slipped back to his spot next to Hoseok on the couch, one hand still kneading the muscles of his neck, different muscles connecting into a painful mass right below his hairline.

“You can stop.”

“I’m not done yet,” the brown-haired answered and continued his ministrations, sitting such that he could watch Hoseok’s face in the meantime. “I can't give you sleep though and you need that more than anything else.”  
  
“You don’t need to give me anything,” Hoseok hissed, pain shooting through his neck and resulting in unintentional flexing of his muscles, making everything more painful.

“Shit, don't move,” Hyungwon grumbled back and used his free hand to stabilize Hoseok’s chin, continuing the massage while closing his eyes, concentrating on the sensations of his fingers which moved their way back into the muscle slowly. “I don't need to but I can. I just can't give you sleep, unfortunately.”   
  
Hoseok grabbed the wrist of the hand that was resting on his chin, gaze piercing the other man’s eyes which opened immediately at the contact.   
  
“I told you, I don’t want and I don’t need anything.”

Something changed in Hyungwon's facial expression, eyes narrowing and staring right back.

“That's what you can say when your work isn't affected, Hoseok. You can say that when you feel like shit but can still pretend that life is great and give 100% in every work meeting.” Hyungwon paused, exhaling slowly. “But your work is affected and you also can't pretend. How do you expect me to ask you things and Kihyun to talk about appointments with you if it feels like we are burdening you?”  
  
_Leave._ _  
_ _  
_ He stared back for a couple seconds, before standing up and grabbing his wallet and keys, walking right out of the door, not caring about closing or locking it up.

Hyungwon's warm fingers curled around his wrist, trying to stop him.

“Wait, don't just go, Hoseok. How does that solve anything? You always said that discussions are necessary,” the younger man called and held on tightly. “You don't have to tell me anything, just let me help.”  
  
He turned around, eyes burning along with his body.   
  
_Why do you feel it now? You should’ve felt it three months ago, it’s too late._   
  
“You can’t help and there’s no way I’ll be discussing the black void I’m living in with you.” He peeled the long fingers from his wrist and continued walking to the elevator.

Steps sounded loudly before he was turned around, deep blue eyes staring at him as slim arms curled around his neck, making him rest his head against the younger man’s shoulder, face pressed into the soft fabric of the white shirt and hot breath brushing his hair. Warmth engulfed his body, air hitting his skin and the sound of breaths caressing his ears. It was a dissonance to his thoughts and the way his eyes burned.  
  
“What are you doing?” he breathed against the fabric, without looking up.

There was no reply, only the sensation of long fingers intertwining with the strands of his hair and a thin body pressing closer. He sucked in the lilac scent, eyes opening slowly and looking past the white fabric, recognizing a bluish spot on the golden skin. He lifted a finger and slid over it absentmindedly.   
  
“How is it possible that it’s still there?”

“I asked you to make it last, didn’t I? And you did,” the low voice whispered above him, air hitting his ear and moving some of the black strands of hair to the side, long fingers sliding through them automatically and returning them to their designated spot.  
  
“I shouldn’t listen to you,” Hoseok muttered, not over the image of the pain the other must’ve felt for the mark to stay for a week. It was strange, suddenly his inner state turned, thoughts starting to rotate around the handsome man next to him, remembering their conversations, the moments they were close and the look in the dark blue eyes, reminding him of the desert sky.

“Why are you then? Maybe you are wrong and it’s exactly what you should be doing,” the younger man replied, stroking over his hair repeatedly and exhaling harshly against his skin.  
  
“I’m not. I’m not wrong.” The words left his mouth and both arms curled around the thin waist, the sensation letting a gasp leave his parted lips. The way Hyungwon felt clouded his senses in addition to the warmth that was seeping through the fabric of their clothes.   
  
_You’re hugging in front of an elevator at your company, Hoseok. You need sleep._

“I want you to be happy so bad,” Hyungwon suddenly murmured, resting his head on Hoseok’s shoulder and closing his lips around the uncovered skin of his neck, just breathing calmly and burying his large hands in black hair, pulling unintentionally. “It’s ridiculous and stupid.”  
  
_It is._ _  
_

“Life is about not getting the things one wants,” Hoseok whispered, hands roaming over the slim back and enjoying the warmth of the slightly familiar body. Suddenly a thought started rotating inside his head, not letting him breath, hands clutching onto the slim sides. “I think there might be something you could help me with, but it’s ridiculous and I really don’t want to say it.”

“Just tell me.”  
  
_Don’t ask him, Hoseok. This is sick._ _  
_ _  
_ He lifted his head and looked into the dark blue eyes for a couple of seconds before swallowing and biting down on his lower lip.   
  
“Please just say no, it’ll be easier,” he started, sucking in a breath before continuing. “Do you think you could sleep at my place today? I won’t do anything I swear, I just want to sleep.”

The beautiful eyes widened, blue even more obvious with the way the light could enter and be reflected back. Hyungwon’s lips parted and he stared at him for a few seconds, licking over his lower lip and pulling it into his mouth.

“Sleep next to you?” he asked slowly, facial expression suddenly turning much more emotional, staring at him, gaze switching from one eye to the next and lip quivering shortly before the younger man bit down on it.  
  
Hoseok nodded, licking over his lips slowly.   
  
“I was able to sleep when you slept next to me, I just need this one time. Let me use you once.” He said the word but his eyes must’ve looked different, desperation seeking through every pore of his body.

Hyungwon leaned a little closer and exhaled against his face, warm breath tickling Hoseok’s cheek as the beautiful eyes closed and the arms tightened around his neck. When they opened again there was something vulnerable to them, not breaking eye contact.

“Alright,” the young man whispered. “Use me then.”  
  
_Why did he say yes? You shouldn’t have asked him._ _  
_ _  
_ “Let’s go.” He loosened his arms around the slim body and pressed the button on the elevator before walking in and going out at the ground floor. The black Porsche blinked as he sat down in the driver’s seat and waited for Hyungwon to come in.

It was quiet after the younger man had closed the door behind himself, chewing on his cheek as he fastened the seatbelt and looked around the car in absolute wonder, but not commenting on what exactly amazed him. Long fingers stroked along the dashboard inconspicuously and deep breaths left the plump lips.

“I didn’t take my stuff,” Hyungwon whispered suddenly, but didn’t show any indication of wanting to go and get it.  
  
“I’ll give you everything you need.”

Blue eyes focused on him suddenly, not answering and shoulders visibly tensed before they relaxed and he was met with a nod as the beautiful man leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

“Let’s go.”   
  
It was night and they were fast as there was barely any traffic on the streets of Paris. Hoseok parked the sports car into the designated spot easily, almost on autopilot, walking out and waiting for Hyungwon to follow. He ran up the insane amount of stairs to his apartment. The door opened and he slid off his shoes and coat, placing everything where it belonged, before turning around to Hyungwon.   
  
“What exactly do you need? Did you eat?”

Hyungwon looked a little uncomfortable, looking around shortly and slipping off his shoes, suit jacket probably still remaining on a chair in the younger man’s office.

“A toothbrush I guess,” the brown-haired replied, standing around in the middle of the huge hallway, making him look even slimmer than he was. “I ate lunch, ordered out with Kihyun.”  
  
_You’re the mental squad, no sleep and no food._ _  
_ _  
_ “It’s midnight, what do you eat? I’ll give you the toothbrush. Want to take a shower? I’ll prepare food if you tell me what you eat.” Hoseok talked without a break, gesturing around and realizing the whole weirdness of the situation.

It would’ve been less weird if they kissed.

Hyungwon crouched down and arranged his shoes a little differently on a shoe rack, probably unsure what to do with himself and attempting to do something that looked at least remotely useful.

“I eat lots of things, meat, fish, fruit, but I think right now fruit would be best, since everything else is too heavy before sleep. I’m fine without a shower. Let’s just sleep.”  
  
_He’s right, that’s what he came for._ _  
_ _  
_ Walking into the kitchen he glanced into the fruit basket. He forgot the last time he was as happy to find an apple and and a banana in there than he was at that moment. Grabbing both he walked over to the slim figure and stretched out a hand, waiting for Hyungwon to take it.   
  
“Eat it, I’ll get you a toothbrush. Need clothes or anything else?”

He was only met with a head shake as hands carefully peeled the banana, concentrating fully on the action before basically inhaling it, same with the apple.

“Let’s just sleep, Hoseok,” Hyungwon murmured again as soon as he finished the fruits, walking to the kitchen and throwing the banana peel into the garbage when he found it.  
  
Hoseok nodded and went to the bathroom, grabbing a new toothbrush and putting it on the shelf before brushing his teeth and walking out, trusting Hyungwon with the locations inside his apartment although the other man had been there only once. He took off his pants and shirt, changing into new underwear right after and crawled under the black silk blanket, remembering there was only a single huge one for both of them.   
  
_Why didn’t you think about it before telling him to be your sleep medicine?_

As expected Hyungwon found the bedroom easily, face a little wet from having washed it and tiredness more obvious with the way the light fell on his features, face immensely beautiful despite everything. Glancing towards Hoseok the younger man unbuttoned his shirt quickly, letting it fall to the floor and took off his suit pants and socks, only remaining in underwear as he moved towards the double bed.

“Where would you like me to sleep?” he asked quietly. _  
__  
__On top of you._ _  
__  
_ Hoseok lifted the blanket and pointed at a spot right next to him. Hyungwon merely nodded and crawled on top of the bed, sliding under the blanket next to Hoseok and resting his head on the provided pillow, faces only a few centimeters apart.  
  
He felt his fingers itch with the wish to touch the golden skin, so easily reachable, but he stared instead, not believing that the beautiful man lay in his bed right next to him. Hyungwon must have felt similarly, breaths a little unsteady and eyes remaining open, staring at the ceiling as he lay completely rigid next to him, slim arms remaining at the sides and not stretching out or curling on top of him as the young man had done before.  
  
“Are you uncomfortable?” Hoseok whispered, the desire to stretch out a hand and brush the brown strands behind the small ear eating up the rest of his ressources.

“I usually spread out and lie on top of people, but I don’t know if that’s what you want,” the low voice murmured, eyes still focused on the ceiling, exhaling slowly.  
  
“Please lie on top of me,” Hoseok whispered again, hands curling into fists to not pull the slim body over.

The beautiful face turned towards him, examining his facial expressions carefully as long fingers made their way over his stomach to the other side, arm resting over his chest and soft hair caressing the skin of his shoulder. Pressing even closer the younger man threw a leg over his body, curling up as he had before and exhaled quietly, breaths still a little faster than normal.  
  
Hoseok gasped before curling his arms around the body on top of him and placing a kiss against the brown hair, a long breath leaving the lungs, as if it had been stuck there for ages. The slim body shivered at the sensation, an almost silent hiss leaving the plump lips as the young man relaxed and rested his full weight on top of Hoseok, leaving a tender press of the plump lips against his collarbone.   
  
“Gosh, it feels so nice,” Hoseok said to himself and closed his eyes finally. Hyungwon hummed, pulling himself a little further on top, thigh resting right above Hoseok’s crotch and hand dancing over his chest, stroking along fine lines with his index finger. The touch made him hiss a breath, balancing on a tiny rope between incredible comfort and unbearable sexual tension.

“Goodnight, Hoseok,” the low voice whispered against his pale skin as the hand finally rested on top of his chest, warmth seeping through. He hummed in reply and placed another kiss on Hyungwon’s forehead, eyelids closing slowly and warmth from the embrace and lilac scent filling his nostrils with a feeling of calm.   
  
_A person can’t heal insomnia, Hoseok, it’s bullshit._ _  
_ _  
_ He felt his own breathing calming down, black spreading from behind his eyelids as he felt thoughts disappearing one by one until there was nothing left. 

  
***

Hyungwon fully underestimated how fucking painful it was to deal with the sudden absence of affection that he had previously enjoyed for a whole week. He had drowned in work, taking the task that Hoseok had offered him and clawing at it in desperation to have something to focus his mind on that was not the older man and the way he walked, talked, solved tasks, told Kihyun what to do and especially answered his questions.

It was pathetic, really. He should have known better.

Still he invented questions that were smart enough but that he didn’t need the answer to just to see the older man for a few minutes, not even expecting anything, just to see his face and the way lack of sleep was eating him up.

Hyungwon had never seen Hoseok like that, staying at work way beyond midnight, easily distracted in the way he solved tasks and answered his questions. Even Kihyun had mentioned that something was wrong. It shouldn’t have been his business. He could have calmly said that he was merely the assistant and if Hoseok required something from him the older man would simply tell him. But that was not how it was.

_Hoseok would never say anything even if he was about to die unless it is professional._

Maybe that had been the reason for entering the older man’s office, absolutely no thought in his head except for the constant desire to touch him, to look him in the eyes and not have to pretend that he didn’t give a shit. Because he fucking did.

_You knew it from the beginning, Hyungwon. You knew exactly that you couldn’t just go ahead and date your boss._

He did everything to keep distance, massaging without reacting, forcing himself not to and to only relax the muscles as he was supposed to. It was difficult, constant pressure in his chest remaining and reminding him of what he could have and didn’t anymore, images returning in irregular intervals and hitting him like an ambush, lungs closing up and chest burning like fire.

It only got worse when he saw the expression on the older man’s face, desiring to run away and only stopping because Hyungwon had run after him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back. It was so impossibly emotional, hurt pouring from every feature, eyes wet, lips slightly curled downwards. The sight alone hurt and Hyungwon feared to know what Hoseok must have been feeling to look at him like that, telling him that he didn’t wish to share the black void he lived in constantly.

_Black void. He’s suffering constantly and you didn’t even know._

The gaze had cracked his resolve, hugging the older man desperately and melting into the touch, naively believing that a hug could change anything. It couldn’t, just like their relationship didn’t change just because they hugged in front of an elevator. Hyungwon was still the assistant and Hoseok the superior, but when it was dark and no one was around it seemed so easy to pretend.

_You can pretend that he feels the same with the way he looks at you._

“I was able to sleep when you slept next to me, I just need this one time. Let me use you once,” the older man whispered, still remaining in his embrace and each word soaked in desperation.

The words hurt but at the same time it was everything that Hyungwon had. How could he say no if Hoseok was offering him more than distance and professionalism? It was stupid, painful even but it was still better than the yearning and the frustration he had felt the past week, drowning in work to not drown in his feelings.

Lying on top of the beautiful man, pale skin shimmering under his fingertips felt surreal. It resembled a dream more than reality, including all the elements that Hyungwon desired.

_Except for the feelings._

The reactions were immediate, gasps leaving Hoseok’s lips from the way Hyungwon caressed his skin, motions innocent but sufficient to affect the older man, melting into the touch and relaxing under the weight of Hyungwon’s body.

_Why does he react like that? What do you have that others don’t? What is he using you for?_

Hyungwon didn’t know, but if it was the only thing he was granted then he was going to take it, grasp it tightly and use it to keep the older man close to him, to be able to curl his arms around him and let go, feel the pale skin against his and have the dark gaze focused on him.

_Feelings can change, Hyungwon. Maybe you can change his before he changes yours._

_  
  


Light hit his closed eyelids, forcing him to bury his head further in the soft skin that he was lying on top of, sensation warm and pleasant, scent of coffee and cake filling his nose and making him hungry for breakfast and unwilling to leave the bed at the same time. Hyungwon tightened his arms around the muscular body and breathed in, enjoying the scent and placing a kiss against the first thing he saw once his eyes opened, a beautiful exposed collarbone.

It felt like a deja vu, he must have been dreaming still, mind constantly reminiscing the times when Hoseok had been in bed with him, embracing him back in Israel. The sheets were different though and the bed was larger, Hyungwon’s legs didn’t reach the edge, entangled with the muscular pale ones of the other man and soft breaths tickling his cheek. Lifting his head properly he looked around, recognizing paintings by Gustav Klimt, remembering the only place he knew that was completely filled with his works.

_You are at Hoseok’s apartment. In his bed. Because he couldn’t fall asleep and asked you to sleep next to him._

Hyungwon gasped, placing his head back on the warm chest, afraid that as soon as the older man woke up he would ask him to leave, not allowing him to bask in the bodily contact any longer and returning to work just like every day, distance and cognitive capabilities returning, telling him to know his place.

He bit down on his lip painfully to keep his brain from negative thoughts, almost crying about not having something while it was still in his arms, like an idiot. He curled further around the older man’s waist and pressed himself closer, breathing against the warm neck and pressing a tender kiss against it, careful not to wake the beautiful man up. He was really ethereal, so different compared to when he was awake, expression calm and unguarded, none of the intensity and fierceness present. He almost looked soft.

Hyungwon rose to take a proper look at the pale face, stroking over the warm cheek and brushing a stray strand to the side.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered quietly and pressed his lips to the forehead before remembering that he could only bask in the contact while the older man was asleep, attaching himself as tightly as possible and burying his head in the crook of Hoseok’s neck.

 _Just stay while you can._ _  
_ _  
_ The older man’s breathing was still calm, but he felt a warm palm moving up his back, stroking his sides and sliding back down. It felt good so Hyungwon didn’t move, biting his lip and keeping still, basking in the warmth and the attention that was his for a short while. His body tingled at the proximity, remembering their previous closeness.

Suddenly a familiar ringing sounded from the pile of clothes on the floor.

Hyungwon was high-speed, body knowing perfectly how to slip out of an embrace before his ring tone switched to the loud beat. He crawled off the bed without waking the older man up and pulled his phone out of his suit pants, attaching it to his ear and leaving the bedroom quietly.

“Listen, are Hoseok and you having some kind of outside meeting? Why aren’t you here yet? I don’t know about you, but what about Hoseok? Are you with him?” Kihyun’s extremely worried voice sounded through the speaker.

“Chill the fuck out, Kihyun,” Hyungwon replied and ran a hand through his bed hair, trying to calm it unsuccessfully. “He’s asleep. You said that he was completely out of it last time, remember? Unless your memory got any worse. Either way he’s doing what you wanted him to do, sleeping in his bed. I’m at his place cause I took care of some stuff for him while he’s resting.”

The lie wasn’t his best, but it should have been enough. It sounded more reasonable than ‘I cuddled him to sleep while stroking his chest’.  
  
“I can’t chill the fuck out, you don’t know that crazy bastard. Are you sure he’s sleeping? Sounds utopic to me, sure that he isn’t dead?” The other sounded more relaxed after Hyungwon’s explanation. He chuckled, remembering how the muscular arm had stroked along his back. Definitely not dead. 

“Yeah, he’s fine. When do you need him? I can make sure he’s awake by then, or maybe do it for him if I can.”  
  
“Don’t you dare wake him up!” It had been almost a scream per definition. “Just call me when he’s awake, tell him I need to talk to him about Judith.” The other man fumbled with some papers in the background. “Or actually, don’t tell him, I’ll tell him later myself.” 

_Judith. That must be the person he has the lawyer for, trying to get something back._

“I don’t think he wants to talk about her,” Hyungwon murmured and walked to the kitchen, checking out the coffee machine and feeling completely overwhelmed by the fact that he couldn’t just press a button.   
  
“Ah he told you about that? Wow, I’m impressed. He never talks about her, you two must be really close. Either way, see you later, Vogue boy.” Kihyun hung up without waiting for an answer.

_As close as bodily possible without sharing anything personal._

Hyungwon was glad that Kihyun had hung up for once, uncomfortable with the fact that Hoseok hadn’t really told him anything. He hadn’t even known her name until just now. Whatever had happened with Judith, the older man was not fucking okay after it, ruining his health.

Instead of making coffee Hyungwon opened the fridge, finding some fried meat and eating that to keep his body working for most of the day. Just that he wasn’t able to do anything without his laptop and his files, everything left behind in his office as if he was still there and just ran through the building. Maybe that’s why Kihyun had believed they had a schedule outside the company.

Inhaling and holding his breath Hyungwon opened the bedroom again, taking a glance at Hoseok before slipping under the blanket, unwilling to miss the opportunity. He was still keeping the air in his lungs when he lifted Hoseok’s arm and curled it around himself, his own hands circling the beautiful pale skin and resting on the warm chest. It felt like heaven.

The other man must’ve been awake, but didn’t open his eyes, palms stroking along his naked skin purposefully. It was similar to the way Hyungwon was feeling, genuinely considering pretending to be asleep just so he didn’t have to confront the fact that he would have to leave the embrace at some point. He placed a kiss against the pec muscle under his cheek and buried his head further in the crook of Hoseok’s neck, inhaling the sweet scent. Strong arms pressed his body closer, the breathing pattern changing a little.

_He’s perfectly aware of what’s going on, isn’t he?_

Hyungwon fought himself, brain always wanting to find out the borders whenever he saw a new behaviour, something that didn’t quite fit into the pattern. The desire to nibble at the pale skin was almost numbing but he didn’t, remembering that he was only going to torture himself further if he attempted to get closer and got rejected in the end.

“Would you like to sleep some more?” he whispered against the collarbone and licked along it, giving up after all. The other man exhaled roughly at the sensation before a warm hand started stroking along his back again.   
  
“It feels so unreal somehow,” Hoseok’s low morning voice caressed his ears.

_He’s affected. You’re doing something that has an effect._

“Sleeping or the fact that I’m lying in your arms?” Hyungwon pressed himself further, throwing his leg over the attractive body and attaching his hips to the muscular thigh. Another gasp left the curved lips, air hitting his head.  
  
“Both.”

Instead of commenting on that he let the finger of his left hand walk over Hoseok’s chest, pressing down on his jugular for a second before slipping down the line to his shoulder like on a slide, dipping the fingertips into the hollow of the collarbone and rolling a nipple between his index finger and thumb. He shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t resist, wanting to hear more reactions from the older man. Anything that was a sign of interest or affection. Hyungwon was starving.  
  
A short moan escaped the parted lips and the strong arms pulled his body on top of the other man completely, skin touching skin.

_Fuck._

Hyungwon gasped, eyes widening and staring at the older man below him, his own lips parted and hands resting on each side of Hoseok’s head. The black eyes stared up at him, gaze so painfully familiar on the much healthier looking face.

“You look much better,” Hyungwon whispered, painfully aware of the way the older man’s lower body pressed against his, legs intertwined and only his hands keeping him away from the beautifully curved lips.

 _Don’t. You are just going to get hurt._ _  
_ _  
_ “Do I? It’s all thanks to you.” A smile hushed over the intense expression before a hand reached up and stroked a couple of hair strands behind his ear. It was unfair. The strong tingling sensation immediately spread in his chest, mesmerized by the beauty that was a genuine smile on the older man’s face, stomach tensing up and lungs constricting, air barely entering his body.

_You really like him, Hyungwon. Shit._

He swallowed, keeping the eye contact and biting down on his lip, unsure what to do and how to break the tension. He wanted to be close to the older man but he didn’t want to get hurt, on the other hand he didn’t know how to stop their proximity, basking in every touch of pale skin against his.  
  
“Do you want a coffee? Did Kihyun call you yet?” Hoseok asked questions while stroking over his hair, bodies flush against each other. It was whiplash again, body saying yes but words building up distance in a matter of seconds. Hyungwon pushed himself up in order to escape the embrace, scared of making another mistake and just burying himself deeper in the hole he had dug for himself over their time together in Israel.

“Sure. I kinda got a mental breakdown looking at your coffee machine.”   
  
“I’ll make one for you, just let me brush my teeth and take a quick shower. Do you need a shower too?” There was something playful in the gaze that the other man had focused on him.

“I already brushed mine, but a shower would be nice.” Hyungwon stood up properly and brushed a hand through his hair, frowning at the texture. He definitely needed a damn shower, working non stop and running around like crazy wasn’t the best for bodily hygiene. “Kihyun did indeed call, just asking if you are alive, nothing serious.”  
  
Hoseok hummed while walking over to the bathroom before squeezing toothpaste on the brush.   
  
“You can choose. First possibility, I’ll make you a coffee and you shower and then you drink it and I shower, or-” A grin spread on the curved lips. “I have a bathtub and a shower in the same room, so we could in theory shower simultaneously.”

Hyungwon’s heart had almost stopped at the pause, reacting to the grin and brain immediately coming up with rather vivid imaginations what showering together could entail. However the proposal had been less sexual than expected, calming him down a little because he wasn’t forced to decline something he couldn’t resist.

_He said that he would stay professional and stay away. But he isn’t._

“Simultaneously sounds fine with me.”

 _You’re an idiot, Hyungwon. You are just going to see what you are missing. Why are you so fucking weak?_ _  
_ _  
_ “Sure, wait I’ll get you a towel. I’ll also give you new underwear when we’re out.” The muscular body moved towards the bedroom before coming back with two white towels. “Do you want the tub or the shower?”

“Whatever you prefer,” Hyungwon replied and took one of the towels, pressing it to his chest as if it was in any way helpful to calm down his heartbeat.   
  
Hoseok put his towel on a hook and slid down the black underwear, remaining absolutely naked and obviously half hard, stepping into the shower and closing the glass door behind himself. The water started running down while the older man threw his head back and closed his eyes, drops flowing down the muscular body.

_Just hope he won’t jerk off._

Hyungwon swallowed, body immediately reacting to the sight and reminding him of all the situations he had seen a similar one, such as the older man fucking him against the shower wall. His fingers were shaking when he placed his towel on the ground in front of the gigantic tub, easily fitting him whole despite his height and possibly another person. He forced himself not to look at the man in the shower, opening the valves and waiting for the water to warm up, biting his lips and staring at the slowly filling liquid. Hearing a change in the water that came from the shower he glanced over after all, regretting it immediately.  
  
Hoseok was sliding his hands over his pecs and stomach, creaming his thighs and arms before turning around all of the sudden, catching his gaze with the dark eyes.

Hyungwon hated his body for betraying him, holding the intense gaze for a few seconds, tingling sensation spreading from his groin downwards along his legs. He was unable to glance away, lips parting before he forced himself, eyes shutting tight and turning to the water in the tub briskly, stretching out his long leg and letting his toes feel the temperature. It felt nice so he stepped inside, letting his body glide into the water, and hissing at how relaxing it felt. Lying in the bathtub he finally returned his vision, just to see that it was turned towards the shower. The other man was shampooing his hair, brushing both hands through it repeatedly. It looked so intense, the way the pale skin basically radiated light, each muscle visible and flexing due to the movements.

Hyungwon bit his lip, just enjoying the warmth of the water while watching the older man, unable to look away and unwilling to. Hoseok had offered to shower simultaneously, so he was probably aware of the possibility that Hyungwon would stare at him, actions impossibly sensual despite the fact that they were simple.

 _Is he doing that on purpose?_ _  
_ _  
_ A hand hit against the tiles as Hoseok propped himself up on one arm, leaning forward a little and letting the water run over his head, black bangs dripping and drops falling from nose, lips and chin.

_Shit._

“Are you doing that on purpose?”

Hyungwon’s voice sounded loud in the tiled room, echoing off the walls. He was abusing his lip without a break and fighting the burning sensation that kept spreading through his body, adding blush to his face.  
  
The other turned around, dark gaze sliding over his body through the glass wall, a little blurry through the water drops, but not nearly blurry enough.   
  
“What? Showering?” The familiar grin returned while a hand brushed the wet, black hair back.

Hyungwon groaned in frustration and threw his head back, reaching for the bottles that stood out the side and picking out the shampoo. He immediately squirted some liquid on his hands and massaged his hair, forcing himself to not be affected by something that could have been the way Shin Hoseok moved all the fucking time, just that Hyungwon happened to be sensitive and reacted to every little twitch of his muscles.

He still watched the older man, unable to help it.   
  
The glass door opened and the other finally stepped out, beautifully naked, water drops glistening on the pale skin, framing the toned muscles. Hoseok turned around, getting the towel from the hook, psi tattoo over the firm butt catching Hyungwon’s eye once again.

_Still you feel connected because of it although it’s a childish thought._

He washed out the shampoo from his hair, diving into the tub quickly to ease the process before rising again and throwing his head back, water droplets spraying through the room from the motion. Taking the shower gel from the corner of the tub he applied it to his body, careful with the bruise on his shoulder and thorough everywhere else. It felt strange stroking along the colored skin while being in the same room as the man who put it there, allowing him to be reminded.

 _You did it to torture yourself and here you are, still torturing yourself._ _  
_ _  
_ Hoseok wrapped the towel around his hips and walked over to him, crouching down and staring at his shoulder.   
  
“This looks even more intense under proper light, fuck, I’m sorry.” The other man’s hand hesitated a little, before touching the spot lightly. Hyungwon couldn’t help the gasp, still in the process of foaming along his body and unable to continue, mesmerizing by the intimate gesture.

“It- It’s okay. I asked you to,” he answered while letting his hand slide along his toned stomach and along his hips, covering the skin with the scent of chocolate.  
  
“But people have to think whether other people’s demands are fine to comply with or not. I wasn’t thinking. I’m really sorry about this.” Hoseok bit down on his lower lip, a gesture that didn’t appear often. Hyungwon exhaled slowly before smiling, hand reaching out on its own and cupping the older man’s face, thumb brushing over the curved mouth.

“You weren’t thinking and neither was I, Hoseok. It’s fine.” He took his hand back and exhaled harshly, body burning up at the desire to kiss the beautiful man next to him and once he did that he was going to melt and not be able to reflect on his actions. It was bad. They had to return to work and get their fucking shit together.

He slid his hands along the rest of his body, stroking his rather obvious erection a few times to clean it up as well and leaned back against the tub, staring at the beautiful man next to him.  
  
“You’re hot,” the other breathed out before standing up and fixing the towel. “Actually you’re much more than just hot and that’s the problem.” Hoseok turned around and walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. 

_When is he going to stop leading you on, Hyungwon?_

_When you stop reacting._

_  
  


It was amazing how the only one who really worried about what was going on between them was Hyungwon. No one else appeared to realize. Kihyun had not asked any questions and just looked like it was normal for Hyungwon to be at Hoseok’s place.

_You are the one who lied to him, making it seem like work._

It felt strange, like there were two versions of him, one that played the perfect assistant and fulfilled all tasks diligently and then the other one, the real one that just pretended to do all of those things while being hopelessly infatuated with his boss and trying everything not to drown in the desire to be close to him.

It wasn’t even sexual anymore. It would have been at least partially easy if it was. Hyungwon could have attempted to get close to him again, to sleep with him even if it didn’t really fit their work relationship, but he didn’t want to get hurt and using his body to get affection did exactly that. It hurt.

Hoseok was making it impossibly hard for him, saying that he was going to be professional and keep distance, but hugging him, grinning at him and making innuendos nevertheless. It didn’t make sense. One moment he was the ruthless superior telling Hyungwon that something he said was childish and stupid and the next the older man asked him to sleep next to him. It didn’t make sense.

_Just stay away, Hyungwon. It has always been a fight between you two and this time it’s about staying away instead of getting into his pants._

It was dark when he finally reached the door to his house, opening it and walking up the old stairs, using the familiar trick to enter the apartment by lifting up the door before turning the key. It felt ironic after having spent a whole week in a five star hotel in Israel and drinking cocktails. Even when he went to work it felt like he entered a different world, one in which offices had real leather furniture and people went to actual restaurants for lunch.

_How did you find yourself part of that world?_

It felt like he was faking it, just pretending to belong while he harbored his unhealthy obsessions and the fact that he had to lift his door to get into his apartment.

“You didn’t come home yesterday,” was the first thing that Namjoon greeted him with, sitting at their tiny kitchen table, which fit exactly two people and covering all of it with books.

“Boss needed help with something,” Hyungwon remarked, unwilling to elaborate further and still unable to tell his roommate and best friend that he had been sexually involved with his superior throughout the trip. The sexually involved in general had been painfully obvious as soon as he had taken off his clothes, hickies littering his thighs and neck including the rather extreme one on his shoulder. Namjoon had called him crazy when he told him it was his favourite one, but Hyungwon hadn’t explained so how could the other man understand?

“The whole night? What the fuck is that job, Hyungwon? Are you getting enough sleep?” Namjoon finally looked up from his books, fixing the glasses and mustering him carefully. “I barely see you nowadays and I don’t mean the times when you are abroad.”

Hyungwon sighed, taking off his shoes and throwing them into a corner before occupying the chair across from his friend, not bothering to make space on the table. They mostly ate some instant stuff anyway since they were both unable to cook, hopeless cases even.

“He let me sleep until twelve today, so it’s okay. No one is torturing me, it’s just this task. It’s until Friday next week and I want it to be fucking perfect. I want him to be amazed,” Hyungwon elaborated and stood up again, mixing himself an instant hot chocolate and drinking it quickly.

“You want everything to be perfect, Hyungwon. Why do you want to impress him so much? You already have the job and he’s paying you more than anybody with that job description, so why pressure yourself?” Namjoon returned his focused gaze to the book on his lap, reading about the history of mathematical thinking.

_Because you like him too much and want him to notice you more._

“Because I want to impress him such that he gives me a raise,” he answered instead, exhaustion catching up with him after a long day. It was almost 2AM.

“Greedy bastard.” The other man didn’t look up, remaining occupied with his book, so Hyungwon got ready for bed, taking off his work clothes and folding them carefully, arranging the different clothes to wear for the next day.

After having brushed his teeth, prepared for bed and dressed in warm pyjamas he couldn’t help but hate the emptiness. His bed wasn’t big, not at all, but the darkness and cold only contrasted with the memory of the warm arms around him, hugging him until he fell asleep.

Hyungwon wanted to be with Hoseok, at all times, enjoy the bodily contact and be able to kiss him without repercussions and consequences, but the wish was impossible. Hoseok was his boss and not interested in him in any way apart from the sexual one, the way the older man reacted to his proximity was the obvious sign for that. There was absolutely nothing that his boss might have needed from him apart from the work related tasks he asked him for.

_Except for sleep, Hyungwon. He can sleep next to you._

But buying affection through sleep was just as pointless and empty as buying it with his body, remaining lonely and upset in the end, just like that day after leaving the plane.

_But will you be fine like this forever, Hyungwon? You don’t want to drop the job and you can’t have him. Will you be alright?_

He didn’t know, but the thought of never seeing the older man again was much worse than the distance he was confronted with in their work life. At least he had the possibility to see him whenever he wanted to, merely walking through a door and having the beautiful black-haired with the curved lips right in front of him, even if he wasn’t his.

_But if he needs something from you, you can get something in return._

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath at the images of the older man’s arms around him that immediately filled his head. His wish to know more about Hoseok, to understand him and do something for him was almost unquenchable. He had already read all the favourite books that the other had mentioned, attempting to understand him better and see his fascination for the works of art. Hyungwon was obviously obsessed and the fact that Namjoon hadn’t realized yet was pure luck on his side, too occupied with work to talk about the black-haired aloud.

_But maybe you can make him open up, offer him what he needs for showing you more of himself._

It was a push and pull again, one that would result in tears, attachment not disappearing just because one played a little game.

_You are doomed either way, Hyungwon. Just take what you get._

__  
  
_

As morning came he transitioned fluently from his life in one of Paris’ shadier places, metro station intimidating just like the guys that offered him drugs on a daily basis, into being the employee of a rather prestigious company whose owner drove a damn Porsche to work.

Hyungwon couldn’t help glancing at it when he arrived, still amazed by the beauty that was the build of the car. He wouldn’t be able to afford one even if he worked for 5 years straight and didn’t eat.

_‘Life is about not getting the things you want‘._

Sighing he adjusted his hair for one last time and entered the building, smiling at Ann and taking the elevator without any further words. It was nice to know most of the employees in his area already, familiarity finding its way into his daily work and making everything a lot easier. Walking past Kihyun’s office he just gave the older man a short wave before knocking on Hoseok’s door, heartbeat picking up although he did it every day.

“Come in,” the low voice commanded. Hyungwon stepped in immediately, putting on his neutral work face and forcing himself to remain distant as usual, doing what he had been doing for the past week except sleeping in a bed with his boss.

“Good morning, Mr. Shin. I have rearranged the appointment from yesterday and pushed it to today 2 o’clock. I hope that is fine with you,” he said and walked towards the older man, keeping some distance between them to make it easier for himself. Hoseok was stunning as usual.

“Why are you here already, I thought you'd get some sleep.” The handsome face looked in thought, intense gaze sliding over his facial features.

_And that’s why you never know what he actually wants._

“I have a project to prepare. I got enough sleep yesterday,” he commented and sat down on the chair across from the office desk, legs crossing and hands resting calmly on his knee.

“I'll think twice before taking health advice from you starting now.” The other chuckled, handing him a couple of documents. “It's for the project, might help you with the seminar structure.”

Hyungwon grabbed the paperwork and immediately looked at them, curiosity stronger and excited to get some more input for the planning. The structure had been rather difficult for him as he hadn’t planned anything of such a size before.

“Thank you very much, I was kinda stuck with the structure to be honest. This looks amazing.” He couldn’t keep the excitement out of his voice, getting closer to perfect just as he wanted.

“I thought so. Either way, you can really ask me anything, but best now because I'll be less receptive by the end of the week, sleep deprivation does things.” The other man rolled a little closer to the white desk, looking at the monitor instead of his face.

_He didn’t sleep again?_

“Is it that bad for you?” he asked, chewing on his cheek while pretending to still read the documents although he was watching Hoseok’s face instead, identifying the eye bags and the way his skin was even paler than usual.

“I'm used to it, but if you say that my performance sucks, I have to warn you in advance.” A small smile hushed over the handsome features, but it looked rather hollow.

Hyungwon got a little closer, pretending it was just him rearranging the position of his leg and switched the page, still occupied with looking busy.

“But you didn’t have any setbacks in your performance before, so what changed? You seemed perfectly fine to me before except for the slightly longer work times, longer than I would consider healthy, Mr. Shin.”

“I guess I'm getting old.” The other man grinned, lifting his gaze from the monitor. Hyungwon grinned back, raising an eyebrow in question as he returned the eye contact.

“From one week to the next? Impressive.”

“Sure, it always hits you when you expect it the least. But I don't know whether my performance will suck, it was emotionally straining last week, so let's see what happens now. I'm just trying to warn you in advance, as the due date is end of the week.” Hoseok’s grin was basically wiped from his face at the mention of last week.

“Well, most men mainly suffer from the inability to get it up in old age and I’m pretty sure you don’t have that problem yet, so hallelujah,” he said, attempting to distract the older man from his thoughts and placed his elbows on the desk and his chin on his palms, staring at the pale but attractive face.

The other man mirrored his action, leaning in and staring back.

“I don't know about that, considering that I didn't do anything to you although you were basically all over my body or lying naked in my bathtub. Maybe I do have a problem.”

Hyungwon licked over his lips at the words, eyes widening and unable to hide the surprise at the other man easily addressing what happened the previous night. In addition he felt a little offended at the fact that Hoseok suggested there was no tension between them.

_He has always been like that, Hyungwon. He said hiding it is childish._

“Maybe that’s because I didn't really react. I thought that’s what you’re into.” He smirked and bit down on his lower lip, this time for effect as he tilted his head a little and gazed into the dark eyes of the older man.

“Sure, if by not react you mean almost eating your own lower lip and eye fucking me through the glass wall of the shower, yes, that's what I'm into.” The corners of the curved lips went up at the words. The sensation of warmth immediately travelled along his limbs at the sight, body reacting to Hoseok’s teasing facial expressions.

“Sure, says the person who asked me to sleep on top of him,” Hyungwon replied and smirked back, playing with a strand of his brown hair. “I didn’t jump you, so it doesn’t count. And just because you didn’t fuck me doesn’t mean you didn’t want to.”

“True, you have a point. But the sleeping was not sexual, until you started rubbing your thigh over my crotch that is.” The smile got brighter.

_Now that’s a plain lie._

“My thigh has not even once been on your crotch, but only above it because that’s comfortable for sleeping, so don’t bullshit me, Mister,” Hyungwon argued and pointed his index finger at Hoseok, eyes narrowing. “And my point still stands, just because you didn’t do it doesn’t mean you didn’t want to.”

“Mhm, you're right, and now go and try to buy a candy for that knowledge.” A hand reached for his cheek, and squeezed it a little, just like those aunts in the grocery store, when they think that a kid is cute.

_Dominant little shit._

Hyungwon’s eyes narrowed and he slapped the hand off, eyebrows pulling together.

“Are you trying to provoke me such that I show you that I’m not a kid again?” he growled and stood up, leaning further over the table. “I can, but I think that’s opposed to what you wanted us to do after Israel.”

“I'm not trying anything and you're so cute, fuck my life.” Hoseok pulled documents out of his drawer and started looking through them, while grinning brightly. Hyungwon’s blood was boiling and he tried hard to keep himself in check, not let the older man rile him up that easily. It was a game and he hated losing.

He walked around the table and turned the office chair such that Hoseok was facing him without the table in front, narrowing his eyes and throwing the documents that the older man was holding back on the table. Digging his long fingers into the shoulders he climbed on top of the warm lap, staring at Hoseok and biting his lip, anger still boiling under the surface.

“If you treat me like a child, are you telling me that you fuck kids? Repeatedly?”

“Your arguments are hilarious, I think you might really need candy.” A smirk appeared on the other man's face while the eyes were looking up. Hoseok appeared so dominant although the older man was sitting under him.

_You can’t win like this, Hyungwon. Show him what he likes, see if it works._

Instead of hissing at the black-haired man he forced himself to calm down, anger dissipating slowly and pulling the desire to touch the beautiful man out of the depths, arms curling around the firm neck as he sucked his plump lower lip into his mouth and widened his eyes, expression emotional as a hand stroked over the beautiful face, thumb sliding along the curved lips.

_You are an idiot, Hyungwon. You can’t fake it. It’s there._

“Holy shit, what was that change just now? Where did you pull that out from? Fuck.” The curved lips parted, eyes focused on his face, observing every movement intently.

Hyungwon leaned closer, breathing against Hoseok’s mouth and almost burning from the wish to kiss it, knowing he shouldn’t but desiring it nevertheless.

_Think of it as a game, Hyungwon. It’s a game._

“Would you like me to switch back and tease you about wanting to give me candy instead?” he whispered, voice low and soft, hips sliding forward on the older man’s lap. He was being crazy, rubbing himself on his bosses lap in the middle of the day. Kihyun could have come in any second, just like any other employee that decided now was the time to see Hoseok.

The gaze turned darker, pink tongue licking over the red lips as the other man shook his head slowly.

_He reacts to it. He likes you when you are emotional, reacting to him._

Hyungwon gasped, mesmerized by the way the black-haired responded to the emotionality of his face, the way he expressed how much he wanted to be touched and kissed, how much he wanted to melt into the caresses of the other man.

_He wants to see how much you want him. But why if he doesn’t care?_

Was it a kink? A way to express dominance by seeing the other person succumb to one’s touch? Hyungwon didn’t know, reactions usually similar but less uninhibited, more careful since he had the resources to be. Hoseok took them all and threw them out the window, body succumbing at every touch of the older man’s hands instead.

“There's something that I want,” Hoseok breathed against his lips, strong arms curling around his waist finally.

_Shit, does he want you?_

Hyungwon’s eyes widened, afraid he wouldn’t be able to say no as the long fingers of his right hand intertwined with the black strands, pulling harshly and bridging some of the distance, Hoseok’s lips almost against his neck.

“What do you want, Hoseok?”

“I want you to stay over once a week. It's complicated and I can't explain it yet. There is more that I want but this is the least crazy thing.” Hyungwon bit his lip, sudden stabbing sensation filling his chest and burning in his eyes, he gasped and felt immensely thankful that Hoseok couldn’t see his face, lips almost attached to the golden skin of his neck.

_He wants to use you to sleep._

He swallowed, fighting his initial response and reminding himself of his desperation whenever he returned home and wasn’t surrounded by warm, familiar arms. It was a possibility to get what he wanted at least once a week, even if it wasn’t the complete package. It was a part of it and that was always better than nothing, wasn’t it?

“But, it's not about what I want, is there something you might want from me?” the low voice whispered against his skin.

_Him. You want him._

“Shouldn’t you have something to offer when you get into negotiations,” he answered instead, feeling how the roles had changed, Hoseok requesting something while hoping he had something to give in return, just like Hyungwon in Israel, unaware that both of them were already in too deep to choose.

“I should. I can only offer myself, which is not a lot, but you seem to be quite satisfied when you're with me, so I guessed it was worth a try.” A small chuckle escaped the curved lips before they pressed against the soft skin of his neck. Hyungwon moaned softly at the sensation, body too attentive when it came to the other man, lacking intimate touch for the past week.

_You haven't been with anybody just because you keep thinking about him._

“Can you offer yourself though, Hoseok?” It was one thing to offer such a deal when they were far away from people that knew them and familiar surroundings, but it was something completely different when they were in their actual workplace, working together and constantly seeing people that mustn't know. There was no way that Hoseok could give him everything that he had given him in Israel.

_Whatever he gives you, it won’t be feelings._

“Offering is probably not the right word. It's more my readiness to maybe try to give more of myself. Which is, as I said, not a lot. Just forget what I said and get the candy.” The other man leaned back and placed a soft kiss on his lips before standing up and letting him slide down the muscular body. The short touch of the curved lips was like lightning in his chest, all senses alert and burning with the desire to return the sensation.

Hyungwon grabbed the handsome face with his palms and lifted it a little towards himself, swallowing and taking a deep breath before answering, every cell in his body screaming at him not to.

“I don't want candy, Hoseok. I want you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mooooore bad decisions! And more information about Hoseok to follow, look forward to that!
> 
> Next Update on the 7th of May at 2 PM CET.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why are you so happy, Barbie? Did you get laid?”

He felt like a new person. Having slept enough to last him a couple of days he had prepared documents for Hyungwon, trying to make it easier for the young man.

Of course they had bickered as soon as it got sexual, Hoseok had been treating Hyungwon like a spoiled kid and teasing him with candy. It had been fun until the beautiful man sat down on top of his lap, curling the slim arms around his neck, facial expression changing, turning so emotional and affectionate that it took his breath away, leaving him shaken and unable to say anything.

_You need him, Hoseok._

_But he seems to need you too._

He didn't know what he had thought while proposing a one night a week deal sounding like a sex contract, without the intention of being one.

_He might need something from you. The longing is there, in the gaze._

The other had asked whether he could offer himself.

_Can you?_

He wasn't sure, did Hyungwon want him to open up? To have sex with him? To go to clubs with him? He couldn't tell. It had been the worst idea to ask something like that from his assistant.

_You're crazy, row back._

“Offering is probably not the right word. It's more my readiness to maybe try to give more of myself. Which is, as I said, not a lot. Just forget what I said and get the candy,” he whispered before kissing the beautiful, plump lips, not able to resist any longer, feeling like that of melting sugar burning along his own mouth, reminding him of the fact that it had never been simple with them both.

He stood up, letting the slim body slide down his hips while leaning back a little to put more space between them. Hyungwon grabbed his face with both hands, leaning closer, gaze so vulnerable and emotionally loaded that it hurt just from watching.

“I don't want candy, Hoseok. I want you.”

_He wants you. Whatever that means, but he wants it and you have it._

“You want me? How do you want me?” he asked, curling his arms around the thin waist once again.

The nervous gesture of biting his lip returned as Hyungwon curled a hand into his hair and glanced to the side, hesitating with his answer. As the long fingers pulled at the black strands the blue eyes finally returned to his and the younger man took a deep breath.

“I want you to spend time with me.”

It was sudden. He had expected a lot of things, but not something simple and rather normal as spending time together.

_Why does he try to get something he could have for free?_

“Spend time with me? Why? How much time? How do you want to spend it? Just so you know, I didn't mean anything sexual by suggesting you to stay over. You don't need to throw your body at me.” Hoseok wanted to make sure the other didn't think that he thought of using him like that. “I'd never ask you for something like that.”

_But you still use him as your sleeping medicine._

It was true but it was also much more complex, not satisfying criteria for a one sided use of advantages.

“I meant it just the way it sounds. Spend time with me, go to various places with me, explore some cities with me, go to a coffee shop and just talk to me.” Hyungwon bit his lip again, area turning redder compared to the light colour of the plump surface. “How much time depends on how much you are able to sacrifice for me.”

_It's easy. Why doesn't he want more? He was pretty greedy last time you had a deal._

“How about you stay over Fridays and we spend time together on Saturdays? This sounds as if you don't want anything, which is suspicious.” He lifted his index finger and stroked over the red lip. “Don't abuse it, just bite me if you need to bite on something.” He smiled.

Hyungwon's eyes widened at the comment and he released the poor muscle, lips parting instead as he licked along Hoseok’s finger quickly, smirk appearing on his features.

“Well what did you expect me to request?” he murmured, keeping his lower lip pressed against the pale digit.

_There's nothing easy with him._

Hoseok leaned in closer and mustered the blue eyes intently, exhaling against the pretty mouth.

“I expected you to say no,” Hoseok whispered. “But it just got more interesting.”

“Whatever gets you going, Mr. Shin,” the younger man replied, freeing himself from the embrace and inhaling deeply as he took the documents Hoseok had prepared for him and turned towards his office. “Friday it is then? I assume after I present my project draft to you.”

_You're his executive, Hoseok, why are you like this?_

“Sorry about that.” He sat back on the chair and looked up, gaze intense but not teasing in any way. “I'll be professional with you, just the way you deserve, won't happen again. Tell me if I can help you somehow.”

The younger man turned towards him again, expression different from the distance he had seen only seconds ago, stepping out of his embrace. The blue eyes were a little wider, emotionality returning and lower lip covering the upper one slightly. It looked hurt.

“I'll come to you if I need answers,” Hyungwon replied, voice emotionless as neutrality returned and the slim body disappeared through the door connecting their offices.

_A rollercoaster. It's a broken roller coaster._

Hoseok had no idea about the reasons for continuously slipping out of his professional attitude while dealing with the other man, although he had never had trouble staying distant and building work related relationships.

_He's probably uncomfortable enough with the whole sleeping thing and you add up on it. Don't touch him, he's your assistant._

He closed his eyes shortly and exhaled, thinking about the fact that he still remembered how the warm body on his lap felt like. He was longing for it, the feeling not fading throughout the last week and also not fading now.

_It doesn't matter whether it fades, maybe you're just trying to replace the emptiness with something else._

Search for something different then. Something that's not him.  


-  


The week had been a whole competition in distance, Hyungwon and him staying disgustingly professional with each other, to an extent where Hoseok hadn't been sure whether their deal was still valid and whether they had been close in the first place.

It would've been fine if he had been able to sleep more than four hours per night. The inadequate emotional responses started tuning into his daily interactions, leaving him close to fight or flight instincts and forcing him to cancel the meetings on Friday, just sitting down on the red leather couch and reading Kafka’s ‘Castle’.

_The book has perfect mood, books are always able to understand you better than people._

It was already late, he wanted to finish the chapter and go home, probably use an insane amount of resources to do something to be finally able to sleep.

_It's better like that. Don't involve others in this._

The parallel door to Hyungwon's office opened as the younger man stepped through, wearing the same grey suit he had worn during his interview and sitting down on the red couch next to Hoseok without a word. A glance at the beautiful face revealed nervousness, chewing on his cheek continuously and holding onto his laptop desperately as if he was worried to show its contents.

Hoseok lifted his gaze fully from the book and eyed the beautiful young man. The expression appeared nervous but he still looked very good, brown hair styled up.

Hyungwon really did look like a model.

“I guess you want to show me your end result. I'm already looking forward to it, if it's not good there's still hope as marketing called, wanting you for a campaign because you look ‘absolutely stunning’. She'll call Monday I guess.” Hoseok smiled and put the book on the table, breathing in and out a couple of times, summoning the rest of his non existent resources to give a proper judgement to the smart young man in front of him.

Hyungwon merely nodded at his comments about the project until his eyes widened concerning the campaign offer, obviously caught off guard as he pointed at himself, distracting him from the obvious fear of Hoseok’s opinion.

“Why would marketing want me? How do they even know me?” A few moments passed before the expression turned bitter and his assistant crossed his legs, eyes narrowing. “I told you before that I have no interest in reaching anything with my looks. I want to be able to create something of value.”

Hoseok let out a deep sigh.

“Stop going Che Guevara on me, Julie saw you on the homepage and was all happy because you satisfied their criteria and they didn't have to search for someone from outside. You won't reach anything and if you do, just smile and be confident about it. Rejecting offers only because they seem to be built up on superficiality is simply dumb. But it's of course your decision.” He massaged his temples shortly while closing his eyes tightly. As soon as the stabbing pain faded a little he looked up pointing at the laptop. “Show me what you got so I can go home.”

“I didn't say that I wanted to reject the offer. If I was Che Guevara I wouldn't be working here for the money but preach about morals and revolution instead. I just meant that participating in an ad wouldn't compensate sucking at this. I really want to do this well. Just let me try again if you don't like it.” Hyungwon brushed a hand through his hair, rearranging the strands on his head and opened his laptop, fluently slipping into a presentation of what he had developed over the past few weeks, voice gaining confidence and right hand finally not shaking anymore.

_So much for jokes while being sleep deprived. Just don't say anything at all._

Hoseok listened with every single brain cell that was able to perceive information, questions forming inside his head immediately and leading to an interesting discussion about the product goal. Hyungwon was good. As expected.

“It's good. We can use it. I'll give you more in depth feedback after the weekend. I need to go home.” He smiled, painful sensations clouding his senses and tiring him out even more.

Hyungwon looked ecstatic, bright smile occupying his features and eyes almost turning into half moons instead of their usual size. Closing the laptop the young man jumped up from the couch and brushed a stray brown strand out of his eyes, glancing at Hoseok, still immensely cheerful.

“Sure, just let me grab my things quickly and we can go.”

_We?_

It seemed unreal that the other man had wanted to go together.

“You're also going?” Hoseok asked, a little out of it. The younger man frowned in response, smile fading quickly as he remained standing in the middle of the room.

“I thought we had a deal. Or have you changed your mind suddenly, Mr. Shin? Don't want to spend your Saturdays with me?”

_He still thinks it's valid. Adapt._

“I didn't know whether you wanted to go home first, but then I could also drive you there if you need. Let's go.” He took his things and walked over to the door waiting for the handsome man.

Hyungwon went to his office and returned with a larger bag than usual and his jacket, frown gone just like it had appeared.

“I already brought what I needed in advance, toothbrush and stuff,” the younger man commented as he walked towards the elevator, showing Kihyun a middle finger as they passed his office.

His friend shouted a curse back before basically running out and grabbing Hoseok’s arm, pulling him to the side. Hyungwon merely jumped out of the way in shock, looking rather dissatisfied.

“Listen, you need to talk to Judith. It's not that she's not going to sell them, she just wants you to communicate with her properly. You've been together for six years, Hoseok, it's not as if she's a stranger to you,” the short man whispered into his ear, grip on his arm painful, as if knowing that he might have left otherwise.

“No,” Hoseok stated, peeling the fingers off his bicep and squeezing the other man's shoulder. “Don't stay too long.”

He turned around and continued walking before he heard Kihyun’s voice behind his back.

“You won't be able to sleep like this. Ever.”

Hyungwon appeared next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and leading him into the opening elevator, face a little uncomfortable at his friend's words.

“Six years is a long time,” the younger man murmured and leaned against the railing, watching Hoseok carefully. “But it's probably still possible to feel like strangers.”

Hoseok ignored the words, throwing his head back and exhaling sharply, waiting for the elevator to arrive at the ground floor.

He wanted to be alone, floating somewhere in space without problems raining down on him.

Hyungwon remained quiet throughout the rest of the elevator ride, not commenting anymore and playing with his fingers as they walked towards Hoseok’s car. Once they were both seated and had buckled their belts the younger man exhaled suddenly like he had been holding his breath for a long time.

“Do you know that Kihyun called me ‘Barbie’ in each freaking email he wrote me today? Is that even legal? I feel harassed,” Hyungwon exclaimed and gestured with his hands, eyes still intently focused on Hoseok’s face, watching each movement.

He started the car, loud noise of the engine filling the acoustic space. Grabbing his glasses and putting them on, he turned around shortly.

“I'm sorry about that, he doesn't give a shit when people don't like something, be it being called names or talking about certain topics. It's his charm.” Hoseok bit down on his lower lip and turned to the front, closing his hands around the steering wheel and put the gear into position, rolling out of the parking spot right after.

Apparently his response hadn't been what Hyungwon had hoped for as the beautiful man leaned back and didn't comment any further, turning towards the window and watching the streets of Paris instead.

They arrived fast. It felt weird because another person was next to him, walking through his door and taking off the shoes.

_That's what you wanted, or did you change your mind?_

Kihyun’s reminder rotated inside his head like a destructive molecule, slowly eating up his resources further. He didn't really think before leaning his hurting head against the white wall and closing his eyes, begging for everything to stop.

_How can you think about anything else besides your fucked up situation, Hoseok?_

Steps sounded behind him before warm arms circled his waist, slim body pressing against his back and the younger man's head rested on his shoulder. Breaths were caressing the naked skin of his neck as the brown-haired man didn't say anything, merely exhaling calmly.

It was strange, the way the handsome, young man was able to refocus his perceptions, letting the thoughts shift and filling his mind with himself instead.

The cool of the smooth surface transcended slowly into the warmth of the breaths hitting his neck and he licked over the dry lips, remembering that there was another person with him in his apartment.

“You can brush your teeth, or do you need anything else?” he whispered, still not moving away from the wall. The slim body did the same, keeping the contact and merely shaking the head, soft hair brushing along his shoulder.

_It won't get better if you just stand here. He probably already thinks that you're mental._

Not that he cared about what others thought, but Hyungwon was still somehow special, agreeing on giving him the possibility to sleep, although it must've been extremely uncomfortable. He leaned back a little and massaged his temples while turning around.

“I'll go brush my teeth.”

Hyungwon merely nodded and let go, walking over to his bag and beginning to take out various items.

Hoseok got ready and went directly to the bedroom, getting rid of his clothes in an instant and crawling under the blanket, headache letting everything turn into a shapeless grey behind his eyelids but not letting him fall into the comfortable black of sleep.

Hyungwon entered later, crossing the room towards the bed quietly and crawling under the blanket.

“I think…,” the younger man began and trailed off, moving his body a little closer to Hoseok’s such that their legs were touching, a warm hand resting on his hip. “I think I might be able to help you with your headache, Hoseok.”

“I don't think it's something a massage can fix,“ he breathed out, eyes opening slowly and gaze focusing on the ceiling.

“But it might still make it better.” A second hand joined the first at his waist as Hyungwon placed his head on his shoulder, hair tickling a little along his neck.

The lilac scent filled his nose as he stroked along the smooth and warm skin of Hyungwon’s back, sucking in air repeatedly to fill out his senses.

“May I?” the beautiful man asked again.

_He'll do it anyway, won't he?_

Hoseok smiled shortly before removing his hand.

“Whatever you want, Hyungwon.”

The younger man hesitated for a while, letting his fingertips travel along Hoseok’s hips, rubbing over the bone tenderly. Exhaling against his neck the brown-haired man finally let go and got up, crawling on top of his lap, thin, naked thighs brushing along the skin of his waist, big hands flat against his chest.

“You'll have to turn around for that,” Hyungwon whispered, biting his lip and staring at Hoseok. The young man was beautiful in the minimal light, some of it reflecting off the smooth skin of his upper body, blue eyes shining the most.

_Holy fuck._

“I need to turn around before I lose my fucking mind.” Hoseok bit his lip and closed his eyes, turning around and pressing his face into the pillow.

The thin body shifted on top of him, thighs rearranging and long fingers rubbing over his shoulders, warming up the muscles before beginning to massage them, slowly making their way downwards to the spine. Hyungwon didn't do it for long, easing the tension before Hoseok felt warm lips pressing against his spine, kissing their way down.

Breathing in slowly Hyungwon climbed off his back again, lying down next to him.

“Aren't you being too risky? Doing it while lying half naked next to me.” Hoseok turned around, staring at the handsome face.

“I thought you're neither affected nor interested.” A smile spread over the plump lips.

“Or did you finally stop worrying about not getting it up, Hoseok?” the younger man asked and curled his arms around Hoseok’s waist, one leg draped over his hips and beautiful face remaining on the pillow, looking at him.

“I never said that I'm not affected. I'm actually absolutely insane considering the fact that I've asked you to sleep over once a week. I don't know what I'm doing, fuck.” He closed his eyes and exhaled, skin burning at the spots Hyungwon was touching him.

Again hot breath hit his neck as the slim man placed his head on his shoulder, pulling himself up to reach Hoseok’s ear with the plump lips.

“Then sleep, Hoseok,” he whispered and lay down on his chest, body completely attached to his, spreading warmth.

“I would, if you would stop confusing me,” Hoseok answered, curling his arm around the slim body and shivering at the hot breaths tickling his skin. Hyungwon didn't reply, merely attaching himself as much as possible and breathing calmly, easily drifting off into sleep.

_He's probably doing it on purpose. Teasing you and making fun of your desperation._

_He's right._

Hoseok needed a couple of moments to feel the tiredness return, the other man's regular breaths giving him back the feeling of calm he longed for so much.

The warm body in his embrace reminded him that it was Friday, that he would finally be able to sleep.

_  


He opened his eyes because of the rays of sunshine, painting his vision in a bright red behind his eyelids and the fact that he was aroused, out of nowhere. The easily perceivable lilac scent entered his nose. Hoseok needed a minute while focussing on his tactile perceptions to realize that he wasn't alone.

_Hyungwon. He's with you in your bed._

He opened one eye, glancing down on the mostly uncovered body on top of him. The young man went all out, thigh resting on top of his crotch, his morning erection not being a help at all, just like the other man's, which was pressing against his hip. Hyungwon’s upper body rested on top of his chest, thin arms curled around his body.

_He is really beautiful._

It was strange, but he enjoyed the way it felt, lying under the other man, hot breath tickling the skin of his chest and plump lips parted a little. He moved his fingers along the golden skin of the thin shoulder, before going up to the hair and sliding his digits through the silky strands. Leaning in a little he placed a kiss on the warm forehead, not breaking the contact for a couple of seconds before finally letting go and curling his arms tighter.

The younger man merely exhaled and shifted his hips, pressing the pretty face further into Hoseok’s shoulder and mumbling a little, probably complaining about the sudden movement.

“You feel nice and you smell nice, I like it,” Hoseok commented, sliding a palm along the long spine, going over the curve of the hip and along the slim thigh.

“So do you. It makes me want to drown in coffee and eat some cake,” Hyungwon mumbled with a smile and placed a kiss against Hoseok’s chest, lips warmer than his skin despite the fact that both of them were lying under the hot blanket throughout the night. “Today your time belongs to me.”

_He deserves everything._

“You let me sleep, finally, I belong to you today,” Hoseok whispered and squeezed the lean thigh laying on top of his crotch.

Hyungwon lifted his head and grinned at him, eyes a little smaller and cheeks a little rounder from sleep.

“What are we going to do? I want to see something exciting.”

“I need a coffee and a shower and I'm also afraid that I'm neither exciting nor do I know exciting places to visit. You should've thought about that before agreeing.” He smiled and placed a kiss on top of the head resting on his chest.

“Liar. You know shitloads. Oh, we could go to the Louvre and drink coffee later.” The younger man sounded excited, fingers stroking along Hoseok’s sides and breathing in deeply, nose pressed against his skin.

“Louvre? I'm in, there's a beautiful garden cafe I know, they have amazing coffee cake.” Hoseok grinned, enjoying the proximity without burden. “You'll probably be bored to death and would want to go home after an hour, although I reserved the whole day for you.”

Hyungwon let go of his arms, pushing himself up and kneeling on the bed next to him, golden skin looking beautiful in the sunlight.

“Let me decide that. I'll use all the time you're giving me. Coffee cake sounds awesome so Louvre it is. They currently have an exhibition on Klimt.” As soon as the words left the plump lips the young man looked uncomfortable. “Wait, how much is the museum again?”

“The Saturday's are on me, don't go.” Hoseok grabbed the thin waist and pulled the beautiful man on top of himself. Gasping, Hyungwon caught his weight with his palms, placing them next to Hoseok’s head and appeared surprised, slowly letting his thin body rest on top of him.

“I don't want to be a charity case though,” he whispered and curled his arms around the firm neck, position more intimate than before.

_He just doesn't know._

Hoseok stared at the red lips, so close to his face. Stroking along the slim sides, he shut his eyes shortly and closed the distance, placing a small kiss on the addicting mouth.

“It's me, I'm the charity case.” He smiled, hoping the truth didn't come through his voice, sounding mocking on purpose.

“Rich charity case apparently.” The kiss caught the beautiful man by surprise and he bit his lip, eyes widening a little before he buried his head in the crook of Hoseok’s neck, hiding himself. “Don't kiss me before I brushed my teeth, it's probably disgusting.”

“Yes, I'm a rich charity case and you're delicious,” he commented, stroking over the brown hair and feeling so strangely at ease. The younger man sighed, warm air tickling him a little. Biting into the skin once he lifted his head again, grin in place.

“But I thought we'll do exciting things, or do you want to stay in bed all day?”

_Yes. Forever._

“It could be exciting too, but you're right let's get up.” Hoseok sucked an ear lobe into his mouth and whispered. “I just wanted it to last a little longer.”

Teeth settled on the plump lower lip as Hyungwon stared at him, not moving and merely shifting his hips on top of Hoseok. He appeared unsure, fingers digging into the skin of his shoulder a little. Humming suddenly he got up, climbing off the bed and leaving the bedroom, long, golden legs on display. The younger man looked like he was modelling for underwear, walking straight and smoothly, black trunks tight on his hips.

Hyungwon was addicting. Something about the other man felt like taking drugs, knowing that it was dangerous, a bad decision, that it might end in a catastrophe, but still doing it because it felt so good.

_He probably doesn't even want the same as you. But what does he want then? He does want something._

Hyungwon returned, dressed in his suit from the day before and perfectly taken care of. The brown hair was covering his forehead though, making him look much more his age.

“Come on, lets go before it closes,” the younger man pointed out and let a hand rake through his hair, glancing into the full body mirror. “Can you make me a coffee before you shower? That machine is way above my mental capabilities.”

Hoseok brushed through his hair and stood up, thanking years of workout for his amazing body, moving like a snake and not giving a single fuck. He pulled a black silk robe over his body and walked over to the kitchen. A couple of precise movements were enough to fill the black liquid into the cup. He held it in front of the handsome man dressed in a suit while he looked as if he wanted to seduce someone.

Hyungwon swallowed, looking him up and down as he accepted the cup. Taking a careful sip the brown-haired man stepped to the side, leaning against the kitchen counter while continuously watching Hoseok.

“You don't look your age,” the younger man muttered and finally glanced down to the floor, eyebrows lifted and sipping the coffee.

“Years of work out and good genetics. Thanks. You look your age.” Hoseok grinned and undid the belt of his silk robe. He received an eye roll in return as Hyungwon jumped up on the counter and crossed his legs, drinking the rest.

“If you want to tempt me, teasing me about my age is a bad idea,” the brown-haired pointed out eventually, eyes following the uncovered skin with interest. “I thought you just wanted me to sleep next to you, Mr. Shin.”

“I'm preparing for shower, why? Want something else besides spending time with me ‘platonically’?” He looked down on himself, toned body covered by pale, almost hairless skin. He looked extremely attractive.

“But staring you down while pulling my natural dominance would work immediately, so why making it so easy, no fun right?”

The beautiful man licked over his lips before catching himself.

“Think whatever you want and go shower, Hoseok. I want to see some real art apart from your uncovered skin.” There was a smile on Hyungwon's face as he took out his phone, typing away and occupying himself with something else. Glancing up quickly he blew Hoseok a kiss and returned to his device. He was obviously distracting himself.

His heart made a jump at the obvious reaction and he smiled brightly.

“You're so fucking cute. It's adorable.” He pulled the light fabric from his shoulders and walked over to the shower.

A loud ‘fuck you’ followed him all the way to the bathroom.

_Yup. You should, the tension will bite you in the ass._

After a long and hot shower including a healthy portion of self love, Hoseok pulled the tight black Armani underwear over his trained butt. Tight blue jeans followed and a blue casual shirt added a little more colour to the outfit. He looked good in blue.

Walking out to the kitchen he immediately made another coffee, purposefully not looking at the handsome man who was still sitting on the counter.

“Should we go out for lunch before we go to the Louvre? I don't really have stuff at home.” A grin spread across his face. “Or are you trying hard to be a meal replacement, sitting on my kitchen counter?”

The younger man looked up from his phone and put it back into the pocket of his suit pants, glaring at him before he smirked.

“If I would want to be a meal I would act differently and I think you know that, Hoseok.” Hyungwon breathed in slowly and stretched out his hand, eyes passing over Hoseok’s now clothed body. “May I also have another coffee? Lunch outside sounds good as long as it's not too fancy.”

“I'm an expensive charity case so you'll have to deal with it. As I said, the Saturdays are on me.” He nodded, before making another cup and placing it next to the slim thigh. “The ‘pretending to be a meal’-thing was a joke.”

“So you're telling me you really intend on paying for everything whenever we hang out on Saturdays?” The eyes widened and the younger man almost threw the cup of coffee with the way he shifted on the counter. “Holy shit. This is like a fucking cinderella movie. Just that I'm neither cleaning your house, nor sucking your dick for it. Fuck.”

“You help me sleep although it’s weird as fuck and I spend time with you. That was the deal. As the time spending is not really a demand, there must be something more to it, so I'm paying. It's rational,” Hoseok elaborated while enjoying his coffee, quality comparable to his favourite Italian barista. “I don't like getting more than I'm able to return.”

“What makes you think that spending time with me is not a demand? It's what I requested, isn't it?” Hyungwon asked, narrowing his eyes and doing the same, sipping the brown liquid and appearing in thought. “But I'm not really in the position to reject the offer to be paid for, so thank you.” He appeared uncomfortable again, playing with the collar of his shirt.

“Because I would spend time with you without getting anything for it, that's why it's not understandable. Why would you pay for something that's free to have?” Hoseok smiled and emptied his cup, placing it into the sink, for the cleaning staff to take care off.

“Hoseok, you told me that you would be perfectly professional with me and keep your distance after showing yourself to me in Israel.” The brown-haired man bit his lip and glanced away, rubbing his palms over his slim thighs, empty cup standing next to him on the counter. “That doesn't involve meeting up outside of work in any way, so saying that I could have it for free is a lie.”

_He's hilarious, Hoseok._

“You just don't understand. You're 22 and just started working so your concepts are a little… strict and naively cute. I can be absolutely professional with a person in one setting, and fuck him or her against the wall in a non-work related setting. It's proven by experience. Doesn't make me less professional if the second doesn't change my behaviour in the first.” Hoseok grinned at the naivety and leaned back against the counter. “But then there's you sitting down on my lap while I'm in my office and it makes it extremely hard to stay professional.”

Hyungwon began chewing on his cheek, uncrossing his legs and resting his hands between them.

“But the last deal had been time limited. You said it would be over afterwards because it's crazy and we need to keep our work relationship. We were perfectly professional during the congress until the evening and still you wished to keep distance when we're back,” he contemplated, eyes focused on Hoseok’s face and blue eyes seeming a little lighter than usual. “There is no difference.”

“First off all, it was your deal, you set the time limit and you set the content, I was just the one who agreed.” He smiled and placed the cup back under the machine, sensing a longer talk. “Second, it is crazy and I'm asking myself whether I can be absolutely honest with you. Can I, Hyungwon?” He turned to the side and looked the other man in the eyes, gaze intense as usual.

He was met with a nod as the legs spread a little further and Hyungwon shifted his weight fully to the palms between them.

“Please do.”

_Just tell him._

Hoseok came closer, placing both hands on each side of the lean thighs and looking up, focusing on the other man's face, who gasped from the proximity.

“Fine, I'm pretty sure there's something, my reaction to you is not normal and vice versa. Fact is, and that's probably where our age difference comes in, I really want you as my assistant, Hyungwon. You're smart and competent, but also young and inexperienced so you might get sulky or might want something you can't get and leave the company. I don't want personal stuff like that to affect any of your professional decisions. If me keeping my distance ensures you staying, I'm fine with that, although it is in fact a little harder than I thought.” Hoseok licked his lips observing the other man's reaction to his words.

_It's a fact. You want him to stay your assistant more than you want his body._

_Why do you care so much though?_

Hyungwon's expression was serious, lips pulled together and eyes focused on Hoseok’s, knuckles a little white from the way he held onto the counter edge.

“So you are worried that I'm going to leave the company because of emotional attachment?” he asked, voice a little bitter. “I couldn't do that, Hoseok. I need the job too much, independent of what I think about you.”

“Emotional attachment is a different chapter, which is even more complicated when it comes to my person. I also don't want to make it hard on you, even more so as you said that you need the job.” He licked over his lips again, removing one hand from the other man's side to not seem intimidating.

_You're talking about not wanting to make it hard for him by pinning him against your kitchen counter. Great success._

“You're making it hard on me with your ambivalence. I like the job and intend on keeping it. Can't you just accept that spending time with you is exactly what I want and as long as we stay with that I'm satisfied?” The thin line returned to its fullness, lips redder than they were before. “You also wanted to give me proper feedback on my project. You said you'll do it today.”

“What ambivalence?” he asked, emptying the cup in one go and moving away from the addicting body.

“What ambivalence?” Hyungwon mockingly asked back, apparently shocked that Hoseok would even pose that question. He leaned back more comfortably and crossed his legs similarly to his arms. “In one moment you don't even look at me, in the next you eat me up, then you mock me for my age and again press me closer on your lap. Your actions aren't consistent. In addition you constantly treat me like a child. You're afraid I'll leave the company because I will get sulky? Well thank you for believing that I don't have proper problem solving skills.” The brown-haired bit his lip after his outburst, dissatisfaction obvious from his face. “Of course I don't think that I can get your free time just like that. Why would you want to hang out with an immature kid, right?” Hyungwon turned to the side and exhaled briskly, not showing his facial features.

Hoseok almost started laughing, before catching himself and grinning instead.

“You just got sulky because I told you that I think you might get sulky, you're adorable. Regarding my ambivalence, be a smart boy and integrate it into a big picture. I believe in your skills.” A smirk appeared on his face before he turned around and walked towards the hallway.

“Still won't leave the company because of that. It wasn't really sulky either, I had proper arguments,” Hyungwon murmured and began slipping into his shoes. “Take me to a nice place for lunch then, I guess.”

“Your arguments suck,” Hoseok answered and put on his shoes. “But you'll still get a nice lunch, so you're getting my time just like that although your problem solving strategies are shit.”

Hyungwon stared at him as if he couldn't believe the fact that Hoseok had just openly insulted his problem solving skills.

“At least I talk to solve problems instead of running away,” he pointed out and pulled his coat over his shoulders. “Lead the way, genius.”

“Wanna drive my car?” Hoseok grinned. “Running away is a choice by the way and you probably have no fucking idea what I'm running away from, so don't judge.” He threw the keys in Hyungwon’s direction suddenly, trying to catch him off guard.

Apparently Hyungwon had been staring at him with wide eyes either way, hand catching the key with ease but shock remaining.

“You want me to drive your car? Holy shit. Are you sure?” the younger man asked and continuously mouthed ‘oh my god’. It was cute.

“Yeah, just don't kill me because you feel insulted in your manly adulthood.” Hoseok sat down next to the driver's seat, arranging the position, remembering that he didn't sit there since he had bought the car four months ago.

“Manliness is an arbitrarily invented construct that I have no need for,” Hyungwon commented as he slid into the driver’s seat and didn't manage to get his eyes to a proper size and mouth closed. He checked all the special features, getting familiar with the car. “In addition I haven't meant you by ‘running away’ but I guess it tells you something if you find yourself in it. I'm not judging though, not at all. Just know that I'm willing to help if you need any, Hoseok.” The younger man turned towards him at the words, establishing intimate eye contact and starting the motor, body jerking shortly at the sound.

_What is it, a therapy session in a sports car? Could be a product._

“I don't need help, thank you.” He pressed the button and told the navigation system where he wanted to go before leaning back and spreading his legs for comfort. It was nice being driven somewhere for once.

Driving through the filled streets of Paris Hyungwon didn't take his eyes off the road even once, remaining fully concentrated throughout the ride, one hand resting on his thigh for most of it. As the younger man pulled the car into a parking spot and turned off the engine he exhaled slowly and gradually leaned back, lips parted and legs spreading.

“I'm not saying this car kind of gets me hard but that's exactly what I'm saying. How to be rich: A daily struggle.”

“It suits you- I mean the car, you give off a similar vibe,” Hoseok commented and

chuckled shortly before stepping out, and walking up the entrance to his favourite rooftop lunch place.

“How so?” the beautiful man asked, closing the car from afar and quickly catching up. The two of them must have been an amusing pair, one in a suit and the other in a t-shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

“Well you both look elegant, are sophisticated, well built and get really racy when you push the right pedal.” He started laughing and stepped into the elevator, trying to get his shit together.

“Holy mother of god, you make jokes like my dad,” Hyungwon muttered and visibly facepalmed, hand resting on his forehead and loud sigh leaving his lips. Eventually he removed his hand and followed, leaning against the railing.

“Must be the age.” Hoseok winked and waited for the elevator to reach the fifteenth floor.

“Or the bad humour,” the brown-haired returned with a grin and blew him a kiss, moving to the door as it opened and walking through, almost running into a woman in a maxi dress, deep red and basically almost falling on her face from the impact. Hyungwon caught her quickly before letting go in a matter of seconds and apologizing, glancing at Hoseok with desperation as the woman stroked over his head for no reason, saying there was no problem and that he is particularly pretty and sweet.

“Or the delusional perception,” Hoseok finished their discussion and nodded at the woman before stepping out and waving at the service worker who immediately recognized him, pointing at a beautiful spot with the best view.

_Fuck yes._

“Are you coming?” He turned around, glancing at the younger man. Hyungwon was still in the middle of a conversation with the woman in the red dress that consisted of her holding onto his upper arm and talking as he looked impossibly uncomfortable, looking over to Hoseok continuously in an attempt to escape.

_Adorable as fuck._

Hoseok sighed and walked over, establishing eye contact and pulling his intimidating gaze, mouth corners slightly curled upwards.

“Madame, if you would excuse us, I need my friend’s company so I'm afraid you'll have to postpone your one sided discussion to an undefined point in the future.” He nodded and pushed Hyungwon forward, so he would walk towards the spot he was pointing at.

The woman appeared surprised by his tone and narrowed her eyes, but complied anyway, adjusting her diamond necklace while smiling in Hyungwon's direction and leaving.

The younger man immediately attached to his arm once he followed and looked a little shaken.

“Holy fuck, she made me weird ass money offers. What the fuck is this place, Hoseok?” he muttered, making sure not to speak French and talking quietly.

“A place where rich people eat, but I don't care, the croissants are the best I've ever eaten so it's okay to come.” He smiled at the handsome man next to him. “The croissants are the only reason to be honest. And the view.”

They sat down and ate, talking and laughing as if it was absolutely normal, something that they had always done, knowing what to say and what to ask, tension only a cloud surrounding them but sometimes raining down unexpectedly, so hard he had to hold onto his chair.

It was intense.

Like a broken roller coaster.  


***  


Hyungwon felt ecstatic. It was even surprising that he didn't have a skip in his step with the way his chest burned up in excitement.

_He was so fucking genuine with you._

He ran up the stairs in record speed, opening the door to his apartment with practised hands, lifting it up and didn't even care that he returned to the poorer version of himself, living in a tiny place and eating microwave lasagne.

_He even let you drive yourself home in his Porsche._

The whole day felt like a dream, sleeping in one bed with the man Hyungwon was impossibly infatuated with, drinking coffee in his kitchen, going to an expensive cafe and eating croissants while drinking coffee, taking a walk to the museum through a really pretty park, looking at paintings by Klimt together, eating dinner close to the museum which tasted better than anything Hyungwon's mom had ever cooked and finally driving himself home. It was amazing and more than Hyungwon had hoped for. The older man was still his boss and the distance had felt impossible to bridge after Israel.

_Hoseok was really yours for the whole day._

He entered the tiny kitchen and took a package of milk out, swallowing a few gulps since Namjoon had forgotten to buy water. The two of them were rather busy recently, especially Hyungwon with his project and coming home past 10PM, so the contents of their fridge had begun suffering. There was only a bit of fruit and the lonely package of milk.

It was so different to Hoseok’s apartment, which also had a practically empty fridge but was gigantic and was the home of the most beautiful and attractive man Hyungwon had ever encountered. The whole situation had felt unreal, like an experience that people like him usually couldn't afford, especially not at his age. He felt thankful and even more curious than before.

_And more infatuated._

_He claimed he was boring. Liar._

Despite seeing Hoseok for a whole day the older man appeared to be a mystery. His boss was a successful business man with his own company, earned shitloads of money but seemed to carry something around with him that didn't give him peace. Hoseok appeared constantly reminded of it and thrown off guard. There were times when the older man had just made an association after something Hyungwon said and stopped talking, or replied with something that sounded bitter.

_Judith must have really hurt him._

At the Louvre they had a rather intense discussion on Klimt’s past and his preference for wearing a bathrobe while painting. Just in case he got aroused by one of the models and wished to act on it. They also discussed how the artist's behaviour had an impact on creativity. However as soon as they walked past the artwork in Hoseok’s bedroom, a full sized copy of Klimt’s ‘Judith’, the older man had stopped walking, remaining in front of the artwork for over fifteen minutes and not reacting. It was intimidating even, intense discussion and conversation suddenly cut off and turned into nothing by the sight of painting.

_He still has it in his bedroom._

It felt strange to be aware of a past lover of his boss, someone who hurt him enough to leave such a permanent stain, one that was neither washed away by alcohol, nor faded by a replacement or time.

_How are you supposed to compete with that?_

Despite the complexity and the fact that the older man didn't share everything, sometimes changing a topic right when they brushed it, discussing negative personality traits in Dostoevsky’s ‘Demons’ for example, Hyungwon couldn't help looking forward to their next meeting. He was dying to see Hoseok again and learn more about the attractive man. There was so much behind the distant attitude and dark eyes that Hyungwon hadn't found yet.

_You have a lot of Saturdays to go, maybe you can compete after all. You have time._

In addition the two of them saw each other every day so it was just additional time to get to know each other better, remove borders and get used to the fact that Hyungwon was supposed to be the older man's assistant and not interested in him emotionally, but kinda was.

_You're his assistant but he said he reacts to you in a special way. There is something between you even if it's crazy._

Hyungwon placed the milk back in the fridge, realising he just stood in the middle of the kitchen while holding the fridge open and fingers curled around the package. The excitement and lateness was getting to his head.

“You act like an idiot,” Namjoon commented and took a beer out of the fridge, opening it against another bottle and holding the second in Hyungwon's direction.

“Thanks,” he replied, to both, the beer and the insult. “I was on a date, so life is kinda great.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows rose and he sat on the one chair that wasn't occupied by an unopened Amazon box. “A date? Did he bring you home and kiss you in front of the door?”

Hyungwon laughed, unable to imagine Hoseok doing something as cheesy as that and took a sip of his beer.

_Rather fuck you against a wall if you weren't his assistant._

“Nah, we went to a museum and ate croissants.”

He only belatedly realized how hilarious that sounded, grinning at his friend.

Namjoon almost choked on his beer, laughing loudly and eyes disappearing before he caught himself and accidentally knocked an empty glass off the table, luckily not breaking it.

“That sounds very intellectual but also dissatisfying considering how much you like a good lay. Unless it's the one who gave you that huge ass hickey,” his best friend commented and picked up the glass, returning it to the table.

_Just shut up, Hyungwon._

Somehow his meetings with Hoseok didn't feel like something that was meant to be shared.

“He's a very interesting and intellectual person and looked at the Klimt exhibition with me. I really don't want to brag, Namjoon but I drove a fucking Porsche.” Hyungwon picked out the details he simply had to share and sat down on the other man's lap, too lazy to free the chair. “In addition I have a lot of time to turn him into a good lay, lots of Saturday dates.”

“Holy shit, a Porsche. I suddenly want to meet your date. Does he have a Lamborghini too? I have preferences.” Namjoon laughed and pushed him off, rubbing over his sweatpants as if they were cleaner than Hyungwon's suit pants. “Did he win the lottery or something?”

“Finish your studies and invent something. Then you can give me cars for my birthday,” Hyungwon replied and ruffled the blonde hair, cheerfulness remaining despite the fact that it wasn't really a date, not officially.

_It's a deal._

Luckily Hyungwon had enough time to change that.

_  


Monday came around slowly, but once it did Hyungwon couldn't help but be amazed by how quickly he got up, getting ready in record time and standing in the disgusting metro at six thirty. His hand was tightly curled around a pole and he religiously avoided touching any suspicious looking surfaces with his suit. It was amazing how many people were there despite how fucking early it was.

_If he manages to make you get up earlier he's definitely a keeper._

Hyungwon chuckled to himself quietly and ignored the nasty stare of a grandma in front of him, judging him for laughing in public. He smiled back. It fitted his mood, knowing that he would see Hoseok soon. He left the metro at his station, walking the rest of the way with fast steps.

_You're almost walking on clouds, are you that excited to see him?_

Passing Ann with a wink and a wave he felt too impatient to wait for the elevator and walked up the stairs, stopping in front of Kihyun's office and grinning at the other man.

“Is Hoseok there already?” he asked, genuinely unaware of when the older man actually came to work, since appointments rarely started before eight.

“Why are you so happy, Barbie? Did you get laid?” Kihyun asked while lifting an eyebrow. “Of course he's here. That bastard doesn't sleep, don't you know? He's here at half past five almost every day,” the other man added, sounding a little worried.

_Holy shit._

Hyungwon's eyes widened and he cleared his throat, returning the grin to not seem too unaware. He should have known Hoseok better by now, aware of his working times as an assistant.

“I just happen to have a social life, Shorty. I know, it's really hard to imagine with your bitchy character.” Taking a look at the bunch of papers on the side he grabbed the ones that were for him and returned to the door frame. “Anything else you need me to take care of for Hoseok?”

“I'm so happy you’re able to eat candy and play play doh with your friends on the weekends. Keep up the great lifestyle.” The other grinned back and pointed at Hoseok’s office. “He told me you did well with the product design. He was preparing proper feedback so I guess he’ll tell you.”

_You even have a proper reason to see him. Fuck yes._

“Interesting, is that what you do in your freetime? I go to museums,” Hyungwon shot back and blew the finance manager a kiss, walking over to Hoseok’s door and knocking, documents still under his arm.

A hum sounded from behind the wooden door.

He opened it immediately, closing it quietly behind himself and sitting down on the red couch next to the older man, leaving the documents on the small table.

“So, you wanted to give me feedback?” he exclaimed and leaned back a little, legs crossing.

The older man lifted his gaze from under the black bangs and stood up, walking over to the white table and picking up some sheets of paper. He was wearing a black suit shirt and tight black jeans, hugging the muscular thighs perfectly. He looked fucking amazing and Hyungwon fought with himself to remain civil, playing with the cuffs of his shirt.

Hoseok came back and sat across from him, spreading the documents out on the table, looking at him for a second just to refocus on the presentation again.

_Well, that's different._

Licking over his lips quickly Hyungwon leaned forward to see better, eager to improve and develop his idea further in addition to seeing more of the attractive face.

The low voice started explaining and commenting, going from slide to slide in chronological order, giving extensive, constructive feedback and asking a couple of questions concerning implementation. After about a half an hour of input, the other man pulled the documents together to an accurate pile and handed it to him, no eye contact or personal comment in sight.

“I wrote everything I said down, so you can think about it further, if you consider it necessary. I already told the HR and project management that I'm going to use it, so you can work on the further development and implementation properly.” Hoseok leaned back, spreading his legs a little and waited for his reaction.

_Thank god that he wrote it all down._

It felt a little strange, tone completely professional with none of the minimal hesitation that had been present when they had their discussion on Saturday, talking about more casual topics. It was as if Hoseok had switched gears and turned on a new program of himself, the one that told Hyungwon what to do and whether the end result was good or not.

_Maybe he's also living a double life like you are._

Independent of the professional attitude the effect that those dark eyes had on him didn't change, thighs pressing together a little and heartbeat increasing. Hyungwon took another deep breath to remain calm.

“Thank you so much for being willing to use it. I'll continue working on it. Is there anything you want me to settle with the departments?” he asked and sat down a little straighter, feeling like he was too obviously infatuated compared to the black-haired man.

“No need to thank me, I'm using it because it's good. Marketing will call you today, as I already mentioned on Friday. I forwarded a couple of emails with smaller tasks, that's all. Do you have any further questions?” Hoseok leaned in a little, letting Hyungwon smell the delicious scent of coffee cake. It was intoxicating and they weren't even that close, bodies not touching in any way.

Inhaling deeply he chewed on his cheek and thought hard about ways to prolong his stay, even if it felt like he shouldn't have, atmosphere distant again.

“Will it be fine to remove work time for the advertisement? After all I need to do a lot of daily things for the organization of your projects and trips,” Hyungwon asked eventually, playing with the pen that he used to take notes, turning it with two fingers.

“As I'm basically living at the company I can compensate for that.” Hoseok smiled shortly and stood up to take a phone call.

It would have been the perfect time to ask the other man why the hell he was at the company that early, but there was no way with the sudden phone call, so Hyungwon merely nodded and walked to his office, getting comfortable on his chair and feeling weird.

_He probably wouldn't have given you a genuine answer anyway with the way he was playing boss again._

Somehow he had expected Hoseok to be different, still professional but more open, mentioning life aspects that weren't related to work just like before.

_Maybe he's just busy._

After going through his stack of documents Hyungwon decided to test it out, making a double espresso for the older man and knocking on the door, ready to bring it. He didn't hear any reaction, so he just stepped in.

Hoseok was sitting on the red leather couch and reading Kafka’s ‘Castle’.

_Not that busy then._

“I brought you coffee,” Hyungwon commented and pointed at the cup, feeling like he was disturbing him although the older man wasn't really doing anything work related.

“Mhm, thank you.” The low voice sounded distant while the eyes glanced up for a couple of seconds, before focusing on the book again. The short glance alone was sufficient to return the excitement and speed up his heartbeat, biting down on his lower lip. But the disappointment was faster as soon as the attention was taken away from him, returning to the book.

_He doesn't care at all._

It hurt a little and Hyungwon would have preferred to be called a kid instead of the distance and lack of interest. ‘Castle’ was good but Hoseok had shown more interest before, be it sexual or in his person. Any of the two would have been welcome at this point.

“I'll just put it on your table,” he commented and placed the cup in front of the black-haired man on the small table, using the moment to ask something else. “Why are you always here at five thirty?”

The dark brown eyes focused on his, looking so impossibly intense and slightly intimidating. It was breathtaking.

“I don't sleep, so I work instead. Or read. I like the couch, it's comfortable.”

It was an answer but it included none of the more picturesque descriptions that Hoseok had used on Saturday. Now the older man was merely plastering facts one after the other, answering his question as quickly as possible.

“I see,” Hyungwon replied, unable to say anything else and gaze making him feel like he could have been part of the reason for Hoseok not sleeping which made absolutely no sense but happened anyway.

_It's his eyes._

Without disturbing the older man further he left the office, drowning in the project and hoping that he would stop realizing the change in treatment, switching to professional attitude himself.

_Just do what you've done before. Two can play this game. Let's see who wins._

_  


On Tuesday Hyungwon started out just the way Hoseok had the day before, remaining distant with his body language and sitting down on a chair instead of the couch. It didn't make the older man any less attractive but it reduced the likelihood of being thrown out of his assistant role.

“Despite your announcement I have not been called by the marketing team yet, Mr. Shin,” he began and placed his palms on his crossed legs, keeping the movements minimal and thereby more professional.

His superior raised an eyebrow, before removing his gaze, small smile resting on the handsome face.

“You want to do it?” Hoseok asked.

_Wasn't that obvious?_

“Of course, it's an opportunity and I will be able to see the workings of a different department, see the company from the actual inside instead of from above,” Hyungwon replied and smiled back, brushing through his hair shortly.

The older man stood up and walked to his desk, hips leaning against it and pressing some number on the phone. Hyungwon forced himself not to look too much, mind easily returning to visions of his boss on Saturday, wearing a light bathrobe over his sculpted body.

The speaker was on and a woman picked up after a couple of seconds, sounding all excited and asking his superior about his day.

“You told me you needed my assistant for your campaign. I think you wanted to call him on Monday. You have ten minutes. See you later.” The older man pressed a button but didn't move from the desk, still leaning against the white surface. “She'll call.”

_Holy shit, there he goes being dominant again._

Hyungwon nodded slowly, impressed by how intimidating Hoseok could be to his own employees. For some reason he had believed that being pressed into his working desk had been an exception for him, but the call suddenly rose the suspicion that it wasn't.

_Well he definitely didn't fuck them all, Hyungwon._

_Probably._

Smiling shortly the long fingers pulled out the newer adjustments to the project and handed them over to Hoseok, excitement rising with each second. Just when it seemed like the black-haired man was about to say something the phone in the neighbouring office rang, causing Hyungwon's eyes to widen comically, amazed by the speed with which the woman followed the order.

Hoseok took the documents and nodded in the direction of the Hyungwon's office, hinting for him to take the call.

He jumped up almost immediately and ran over, grabbing the phone while still standing above his desk, leaning on it with his left arm.

“Hi, Chae Hyungwon, right?” the same excited female voice asked that Hyungwon had heard a moment ago. He hummed in affirmation.

“You're handsome and Hoseok agreed, so we would like to use you for ads. It basically just involves a photo shoot in which you smile or look serious, depending on which lines we want to put on top. Would you be ready to do that?” the woman immediately continued, going through various details and explaining the time effort. It seemed like she didn't even doubt that Hyungwon was going to do it.

_Hoseok called for you, of course she thinks you want to do it._

“I would be willing to do that,” he replied calmly and sat down, curious about how marketing worked at a company that didn't sell any physical products that could be put on or held up.

“Great, do you think you could dye your hair black? We want you to look more authentic.” Again the voice sounded relaxed, like there was no way that Hyungwon would reject because of such a simple thing.

_She doesn't know that you hate increasing the contrast with your eyes, people stare like crazy._

“Is that necessary?” he asked carefully, hoping it was merely something the stylists wanted to do because they liked it and not something actually inherent for the concept.

“Ehm, definitely. As I said the point is to be as natural as possible and I'm pretty sure Koreans don't have brown hair.”

_Wow. That was kinda racist._

“Mmh,” Hyungwon murmured, not sure how to reply without pissing the marketing woman off. “So you want someone Asian for the ad?”

There was silence before the voice got a little more panicked, probably realizing how it sounded.

“No, not at all. Your face fits the concept and it would fit the concept even better when your hair is black.” A short pause followed. “Like Hoseok’s.”

_Fair enough. You can deal with that._

Hyungwon hummed again to show that he was listening, uncomfortable with the thought but reminding himself that it wasn't permanent and he could switch back if he disliked it. It was an opportunity that he didn't want to miss.

“Alright.”

The excitement was grand as he was spammed with appointment information and preparations such as not eating too much beforehand and further details that the woman would send to him via email.

_Maybe that's why you never bothered with modelling._

A little overwhelmed he returned to his superior’s office, sitting down on the chair that he had left and waiting for feedback. Hoseok immediately stole his attention back, black hair contrasting with the pale skin and appearing ethereal, especially with the way the thighs filled out the jeans.

Remembering the distance they were confronting each other with he straightened his back, slightly frustrated that Hoseok had kept it up for longer than a day. It still hurt a little despite the war that Hyungwon had begun.

“It's good, I like it. You should definitely work on the argumentation of the goals, using not only the scientific research but also benefits for the company in general. They are more interested in immediate benefit. Everything else is good. Any questions?” the older man asked, establishing eye contact and cutting their conversation short just like every other time over the last two days.

“Where can I look up further immediate benefits beyond those that I have already mentioned? The company does not provide such extensive information on themselves, Mr. Shin,” Hyungwon replied and hoped for two things, firstly information and secondly longer conversation. Independent of working with Hoseok he enjoyed seeing the older man's face and the more often the better. It was frustrating to remain distant, it just woke the well suppressed desire to make the older man crack.

_And to touch him._

A grin spread over the ridiculously handsome face before his executive pointed at Hyungwon’s head, probably hinting at the brain as a good source of information.

“But you can of course ask if you're stuck. Right now you're definitely not. Your brain is better than that.”

_It was worth a try._

Hyungwon nodded quietly and stood up, leaving reluctantly after taking his papers back and hating the older man a little.

What was the point of opening up and spending so much quality time with him if there were no immediate consequences? It felt even more like a double life, living as a poor student working a fancy job during the week and letting a rich guy pay for him during the weekend.

Just the sleeping with him didn't have any sexual connotations for once.

It was stupid but Hyungwon couldn't help but feel upset, sexual situations making him feel much more wanted and paid attention to than like that.

_He doesn't even really react to you, Hyungwon. He did before, almost immediately whenever you moved your legs or changed your facial expressions._

Maybe Hyungwon wasn't close enough, keeping the distance such that professionalism wasn't a problem. Hoseok had always been good at pretending to be unaffected, only cracking when Hyungwon was already on his lap.

_He won't make the first step and nothing will happen, Hyungwon._

_Unless you make it._

_  


Just like the last few days Thursday came around and brought the same detestable distance and unpleasant conversation as the rest of the week. Hyungwon had firmly believed that Hoseok would tire from it, but the only thing the older man appeared tired from was the lack of sleep that begun to slowly show itself.

The dark eyes remained the same, letting the blood rush through his veins and stealing his breath away. However Hoseok’s concentration faded and meetings were pushed to the beginning of next week, avoiding possible mistakes strategically. It was amazing how everything reduced, everything except for the fucking professional attitude that consisted of treating Hyungwon like an assistant and cutting every conversation short.

_How the hell does he live like that? He didn't seem to have such problems in Israel._

And neither did Hyungwon, basking in the attention and the bodily contact repeatedly, even without the deal.

Thursday had been the day the marketing department requested him to come in, studio gigantic and appearing way too overdone for an international company selling HR development products. Did people even pay attention to such ads?

Apparently that didn't matter at all as a tall slim women with really curly hair welcomed him excitedly and immediately began touching his lips and turning his head to the side.

“Oh my god, you're perfect, Hyungwon,” she exclaimed and touched his hair, frowning a little. “Except for the hair, but we'll take care of that quickly.”

She mispronounced his name, but it would have been too much of a bother with the way she pulled him to a smaller room with mirrors and people working on make up, colouring the face of a pretty blonde woman with blush. Smiling politely he let himself be led to a chair and manhandled a little, a rather fabulous man with rainbow hair running his hands through the light brown strands.

It didn't feel like he was at a fancy HR company at all, but rather a bad sitcom, involving all the loud and effortlessly funny people that one needed for it. Hyungwon felt rather out of place and wished to return to his actual work, surrounded by Hoseok, but he had decided for the ad himself.

“Hoseok got kinda snappy recently, didn't he?” the curly haired woman asked another, dressed in similar blue jeans and a loose blouse. Hyungwon couldn't help but listen in, curious as it concerned the only person he kept thinking about everyday.

“Well, I thought he's generally not too cheery after Judith left, but that is to be expected. You know, six years is a damn long time.”

Hyungwon swallowed, focusing on the way the fingers massaged along his head, rubbing the black colour into his hair.

_Seems like you'll look like your actual self for a while._

“Well, not like there was a lack of distractions or no willingness. I would jump into his car as soon as he waves one of those sexy fingers of his.” The giggle was loud, steps coming closer and checking out the work, giving Hyungwon a thumbs up before returning to the back of the room.

“He's not my type to be honest,” the unfamiliar woman replied. “Too intimidating for my taste.”

Biting his lip Hyungwon closed his eyes, focusing on the hands and the unpleasant smell of hair dye. The conversations woke ambivalent feelings in him, happiness at being the one who had managed to get through Hoseok’s shell and simultaneous sadness at not having that attention anymore. Whatever had happened to the older man, everybody knew about it. Everyone but him.

_You're new, it happened before you._

In addition Hyungwon didn't want to ask anybody, patiently waiting for Hoseok to tell him by himself.

But if he was honest he wanted to solve the problem, to help the beautiful older man get over it and be the one he wanted and had feelings for, the one who could help him to sleep and to feel at ease, not losing himself at the sight of the sky.

_Playing a childish war with him won't get you anywhere, Hyungwon. You have to do something._

Staring at his own mirror image, black hair framing his small face and bringing out the deep blue of his eyes he licked over his lips, exhaling slowly.

_There is something to you. He said it's there._

_Why don't you use it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look forward to how Hyungwon will use it in the next chapter ;)
> 
> Next Update on the 9th of May at 2 PM CET.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think its really cute how you continuously try to bullshit me. The one who cracked was me, you were fully prepared.”

It had been full force torture. The relatively open atmosphere from Saturday had to make room for one hundred percent professionalism towards his smart, beautiful and ridiculously hot assistant. 

_ That's what he deserves, that's what you agreed on. You can't be teasing him with candy while he sits on your lap in your office. _

Rationally he had known it, all of it. It was logical and it was necessary for obvious reasons, preventing him from pressuring Hyungwon into something he might not have wanted and keeping himself sane and concentrated on his own problems and struggles.

_ The distance is the absolute best for both of you. It's enough that you want him to sleep over and spend the whole of each Saturday together. _

The days had been painfully long, starting at half past four, sometimes even earlier and ending at two in the morning. Two hours of sleep were not enough to keep him working perfectly, which resulted in more distance than he had actually wanted, taking preventive measures to make sure he didn't crack.

_ You can't. You're already standing in a pile of shit with one foot, don't make it worse. _

The times when he stared at the slim figure, while Hyungwon was talking to Kihyun or hanging on his mobile phone, not noticing his glances, were getting more and more regular and less easy to suppress. His eyes moved over the clothed body, remembering how it looked like without the fabric. 

_ Stunning. He looked absolutely stunning.  _

When his assistant needed help with basic questions that Hoseok was absolutely sure were asked only so the other man could see him, he still let him, giving a ridiculously complex answer and watching the concentrated facial expressions, blue eyes narrowing and plump lower lip sucked into the pretty mouth. 

Hyungwon was mesmerizing, he really was

It was Thursday and Hoseok hadn't slept. He had tried to work out until deep into the night, ending up lying in his huge bed and thinking that it would be Friday tomorrow, the day he would be able to rest, to escape the prison, to exchange the tiring and devastating thoughts, spending the whole day after with the beautiful young man, showing him various things and getting input from a worldview that was so interesting and new to him that he kept thinking about it. 

_ That's why you need distance, it keeps occupying you. _

The problem was that the distance didn't help. His behaviour might have shown professionalism but his thoughts were somewhere between the younger man's witty remarks on the books he read and the insanely beautiful face, serving as a perfect reminder of what it was able to express when Hoseok was close enough, opening up and drowning the other in his natural dominance. 

_ You won't be able to forget that. And then you told him he's the affected one.  _

_ You're the affected one.  _

_ Maybe you should stop altogether.  _

The buzzing in his ears didn't go away although it was already after 10 PM. He had spent the whole day religiously avoiding Hyungwon, hiding behind phone calls and even going as far as letting Julie come from marketing, to report about the new campaign although it wasn’t due for another two weeks. 

_ You're going mad. You might just jump him on Friday if you keep on going like that. The tension is still there, you're just avoiding it and not playing with it anymore. It will bite you in the ass, Hoseok.  _

He buried his head in his palms, trying to blur out the surroundings and think about his actual problem. 

_ Judith has twenty percent of the shares. Your shares. She betrayed you and left, taking the shares and not wanting to sell them although you're willing to give her thrice the price.  _

She had wanted to talk, but he had advised everyone in the company not to put her calls through to him, exchanging his own mobile phone and keeping it almost empty, only a couple of people having his actual number. Kihyun and Hyungwon were two of them. 

_ You don't even want her feelings, you just want the shares so you can be free.  _

The thought came in like a wrecking ball, realization so intense that it forced him to exhale sharply, eyes widening and face lifting from the dark warmth of his own palms. 

_ You can talk to her then. If you don't need her to come back, you don't need to feel crushed.  _

_ Right?  _

_ But why? Why don't you want her to come back? _

It must've been the lack of sleep, not giving him the possibility to access his own emotional state and blurring every perception in a confusing way. 

_ You're a psychologist, you know exactly what insomnia does.  _

He leaned back on his office chair and put an arm over his eyes, returning the blackness for a couple of seconds, concentrating on his thoughts and the way he felt. 

_ You need Friday. Tomorrow is Friday, you'll be fine tomorrow.  _

A knock sounded on the connecting door, soft but perfectly audible in the suffocating silence of his office. 

_ It's him. Get a grip.  _

He hummed while keeping the arm over his eyes. 

The door opened, sound of the way the wood scratched slightly over the floor entering his ears. After a few seconds of silence Hoseok heard the distinct click of the lock falling shut, no further noise following. 

_ Why isn't he saying anything? _

Removing his arm slowly he opened his eyes and needed a couple of seconds to accommodate to the light of his table lamp. 

Hyungwon was standing at the entrance, hair black like a raven, barely visible in the minimal luminance, fitting to the tight, equally black suit, emphasizing the length of his legs and slim waist. The younger man looked beautiful leaning against the door, lower lip sucked into his mouth and large blue eyes focused on Hoseok, gaze intense and impossibly bright, contrasting with the dark hair. 

_ What's the use in ignoring him if he comes in and grabs all of your attention like a magnet? _

Hoseok leaned forward a little, trying to determine the expressions on the unreal looking face, but the minimal light didn't do him the favour. 

“Is something the matter?” he asked, headache dissipating into thin air from the weirdness of the situation and the lack of resources to determine the bodily feedback.

The beautiful man didn't reply, deep blue orbs keeping up the eye contact. Inhaling slowly the long fingers travelled up, over the shirt-clad chest until they closed around the dark blue tie, colour equal to the younger man's eyes. The knot loosened, hand pulling it down until Hyungwon was able to lift it over his head, tie landing on the ground. Not hesitating much longer the fingers continued with the suit jacket, opening the one button and letting it glide down the shoulders, eyes not leaving Hoseok’s for even a second. The slow breaths and the sound of fabric hitting the ground were the only ones in the room. 

_ Are you hallucinating, Hoseok? You slept six hours in the last five days, that must be it.  _

He stayed seated, watching the unreal looking man undress in front of him, in his office. It must have been a dream. Sucking in a breath he rolled closer to his desk placing his elbows on the white surface, leaning in to see more. 

The enticing mouth let go of the lower lip, tongue licking over it instead as the beautiful hands undid the top button of his white shirt, continuing with the next one and the next one, uncovering mesmerizing golden skin, light shimmering along the small dips and lean muscles. Loosening the last piece of cloth that obstructed the view from his breathtaking upper body the younger man let the pearl white shirt slip along his slim arms and over the thin wrists, finally landing on the floor. 

Hoseok gasped, fingers curling into fists on the white surface of his desk. 

Hyungwon exhaled audibly, letting the big hands run over his chest and abdomen, stopping at the tailored suit pants and undoing them, sound of the zipper following right after, echoing a little in the office and fitting the sound of the harsh breaths leaving the plump mouth. The young man bit his lip again, this time with more force and appeared relieved at the reduced pressure around his groin, black fabric travelling down his endless legs and pooling on the floor next to the other articles of clothing. 

“What's going on, Hyungwon?” Hoseok whispered, not able to remove his gaze from the mesmerizing man, teeth sinking into his lower lip at the sight. He rolled back, putting more distance between himself and the desk, trying to think but failing immediately. 

Again there was no answer as Hyungwon merely removed his briefs and stood naked in his office, golden body on display and visibly affected by the situation himself judging by the obvious erection. The younger man walked like a cat, movements slow and controlled, just the way he danced. 

Watching Hoseok intently Hyungwon appeared right in front of him, arms pulling the lean body on top of his desk, pushing several documents off in addition to pens and other utensils. Smiling shortly the long fingers placed a condom and a packet of lube on the desk next to slim hips, intentions clear. 

_ He didn't intend on giving you any other option, did he?  _

The sound of paper flying through the air and landing on the ground was accompanied by a low hiss, blue eyes even brighter from up close, each ray of light reflected and lips a bright red, soft blush covering the beautiful man's cheeks. 

Without further hesitation Hyungwon placed his naked feet on the side of Hoseok’s office chair, pulling it closer towards himself as he spread his legs and licked over the red lips, weight resting on the arms behind him. 

His assistant was sitting naked on his office desk with spread legs. 

_ Fuck.  _

He wasn't able to say anything. How, if he wasn't even able to think anything? Licking over his lips repeatedly Hoseok rolled a little closer, fingers itching to touch the beautiful body, his suit pants reminding him of their tightness. 

“You're fucking with my brain, is that it? Or is it the lack of sleep?” Hoseok’s low voice echoed through the room while he tilted his head a little, drowning in the expression on the other man's face. 

“Don't you want to touch?” the familiar voice asked back, heartbeat almost visible with the way the chest rose and fell, blue eyes drawn to his face and impossibly intense, eating up every feature like the younger man needed it to breathe. 

The only scenario where Hoseok didn't see himself touching the mesmerizing body in front of him was indeed having two amputated arms. 

_ You would find a way to touch him nevertheless.  _

“I need to touch you,” Hoseok answered, leaning in closer and placing the index finger of his right hand on the lean thigh, moving it up along the hip bones and the toned stomach, further upwards until he reached the ethereal face, cupping it and sucking in a breath. 

The way Hyungwon bit his lip looked almost painful, eyes widening and a single black strand falling down, covering some of the blue and stealing the mesmerizing sight. The way the younger man's eye colour shone with the contrast was simply unreal. 

“Then do it, Hoseok. As much as you want.”

He felt as if he had been starving for weeks and Hyungwon simply came in, placing a whole five star meal on his table, telling him to taste as much as he liked. 

He shouldn't have done that. 

Hoseok stood up from the chair, pinning the naked man between his arms, immediately inhaling deeply, catching every molecule of the addicting scent, clouding his senses further and blurring the outline to reality. 

“You're driving me crazy. I'm insane because of you, it's fucking torture, Hyungwon.” He leaned in, so close that their lips were almost touching, hissing those words against the plump mouth while his gaze pierced the blue eyes in front of him.

A traceable shiver ran through the slim body below him as Hyungwon inhaled but didn't exhale, eyes remaining on his. The warm pink tongue parted the beautiful mouth and licked over Hoseok’s upper lip, finally exhaling roughly. 

“You're the one who is constantly driving me mad,” the younger man replied, hips shifting on the white desk. “Do you want me, Hoseok?”

His blood reminded him of liquid lava, burning his body from the inside and forcing him to act. It didn't make sense that he was driving Hyungwon mad, as Hoseok had tortured himself while being distant and professional, whereas the other sat naked on his desk. 

A playful smirk appeared on his face and he caught the plump lower lip with his teeth, nibbling on it softly before letting go. 

“Well, what do you think?” 

The blue eyes examined his, gaze slowly moving down along his body, over the white shirt and stopping at the tightened suit pants, tongue licking over the plump lips again. Taking another deep breath a mirrored smirk appeared, one corner of the enticing mouth moving up.

“I think yes, but I want to see how much,” the younger man whispered, legs curling around Hoseok’s hips and pulling him closer towards himself as the long fingers dug into the wood of his office desk, throwing another bunch of papers to the ground. 

Hoseok wanted to feel the warm skin, grabbing the seam of his shirt and simply pulling it over his head without bothering with the single buttons. He immediately curled his arms around the thin waist, pressing Hyungwon closer against himself, lips clashing against the plump ones.

The response was immediate, a moan sounding against his lips and slim arms circling his neck, legs only tighter around him with each passing second. 

“Shit, I have no resources to play push and pull with you today,” the low voice moaned against his lips as hips rolled forward, brushing against his and increasing friction, nails scratching along his naked back. 

“I hope you know what you signed up for when you undressed and sat down on my office desk,” Hoseok groaned, teeth leaving tiny marks along the beautiful collarbone, having mercy on the neck. 

“Your mark is gone,” Hyungwon gasped instead, fingers sinking into Hoseok’s hair and pulling him further against his skin, reacting to every ministration and touch of his mouth and fingers. “I need a new one, something to stay, Hoseok.”

_ Get a grip, don't hurt him.  _

“There's no way I'll hurt you like the last time, forget it.” He licked over the spot he had marked in Israel and placed kisses around it, nails leaving fine lines along the smooth back.

“Then don't, but leave something, Hoseok. I need it for my sanity,” the beautiful man moaned, head thrown back and goosebumps spreading along the smooth arms and legs, skin still impossibly hot to the touch. “I want you to want me.”

“I want you all the fucking time, naive boy.” He couldn't hold back and licked over the long neck, nibbling along and whispering into the small ear right after. “I don't need to leave anything, it's there.” 

The blue eyes widened and the slim body attached itself further, harsh breaths hitting his skin and long fingers raking through his hair. A moan left the plump lips and Hoseok’s black hair was pulled painfully, enough for the young man to clash their lips together and groan into the kiss, rolling his hips for friction. 

Hyungwon was impatient and desperate in his actions, previous calmness that he had while undressing disappearing and leaving the raw need to touch and be touched, perceivable with every movement and moan that left the other man. 

Hoseok leaned back, gaze focusing on the blue eyes and observing the way the black took over the blue, spreading out and eating up everything in sight. It was so mesmerizing and incredibly attractive that it made him gasp, hands clutching onto the slim waist. The expression on the younger man's face was enough to burn down every rational thought that might have existed in the depth of his mind, lips immediately finding the skin, sucking and biting into the smooth surface, working his way down to the beautiful lean thighs, contrast so obvious against the white desk. 

Teeth settled in Hyungwon's plump lower lip as he cursed and watched every movement, shivers and anticipation easily betrayed by shifting the long legs and the twitching erection.

“I want you, fuck, I want you so much I thought you were trying to kill me,” the young man on his desk whispered repeatedly, scratching along his shoulders before holding onto the edge of the white wood instead, knuckles assimilating to the pale colour. 

Hoseok bit into the inner thigh before licking a stripe from the shaft to the tip of the delicious erection, fingers sinking into the firm flesh resting under them. Twirling the tongue around it he finally took it into his mouth, tracing the prominent veins and humming around it. 

Hyungwon moaned loudly and leaned further back, resting on his elbows and almost pushing the lamp off the table, head thrown to the side and fingers still digging into the soft white wood.

“Shit, please, Hoseok,” he murmured, hips lifting slightly to feel more and one leg thrown over Hoseok’s shoulder. “Fucking please.” 

The begging made his dick twitch against the tight fabric of his pants. He let the erection slip out of his mouth, standing up and leaning in such that the beautiful eyes were only a couple of centimetres away. 

“Please, what?” he asked, voice low, licking over his lips repeatedly.

The blue colour was almost gone, black drowning it with its depth and lips parted, loud exhales leaving them. The slim body shivered below him in anticipation. 

“Fuck me,” the beautiful young man replied in the form of a whisper as he bit down on his lip again, blush from the cheeks spreading further to the neck and chest, otherworldly combination with the golden tone of the smooth skin. “Please.”

It hadn't been the begging or the fact that Hyungwon had put lube and condoms on his table before sitting down. It had been something different. 

_ It's because you want it and you wanted it all along.  _

He put a little space between their bodies, gaze still focused on the handsome face, and opened the button of his suit pants, sliding down the zipper slowly. 

Hyungwon licked over his lips and watched the action intently, chest visibly rising with the way he inhaled deeply but didn't exhale. The fingers of one hand let go of the table and stroked along Hoseok’s firm pecs and abdomen, dipping into the defined lines. 

For the first time it felt as if both of them were equally crazy, desperate and impatient, waiting to touch and be touched, basking in each other's attention carried by the immense amount of tension surrounding them like thick fog while none of them were able to escape. 

“I want you, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hoseok spoke out while sliding down the rest of his clothes down the muscular legs, stepping out and closing the distance. 

Hyungwon cursed at the contact and pushed himself up, arms curling around Hoseok’s firm neck and smooth legs rubbing along his thighs and hips, moaning at the sensation and biting into his shoulder, tongue following right after. 

“Please,” he murmured again, desperation reaching new levels and apparently not caring about the way he had always fought before, repeating the words against Hoseok’s curved lips with his plump ones and digging his fingers into the muscular back. 

He reached to the side and prepared himself before leaning in and wiping the rest of the wooden surface free, a couple of pens and a mouse falling to the ground, but he couldn't have cared less about the mess he was creating. He placed Hyungwon’s back on the white desk, moving his tongue over the addicting lips before parting them and sliding inside. 

Hyungwon gasped, both palms cupping his face and pulling him further into the kiss as the long legs attempted to push him closer, warm skin touching and creating a beautiful contrast of white and gold. He placed the long legs over his shoulders, leaning back a little and lining up finally, breath stuck inside his lungs and not able to leave. He observed the handsome face intently, trying to determine whether it was what the other man really wanted. 

The expression was impossibly affectionate, intensity almost overwhelming with the way Hyungwon stretched out his hands towards him and stroked along Hoseok’s muscular arms next to the younger man's thighs. The plump lips were parted and the eyes were wide, barely visible smile remaining, only adding more emotionality. 

“You're stunning,” he breathed out, sliding his thumb over the parted lips before pushing himself in slowly. Hyungwon covered the digit with his mouth and moaned against it, teeth biting down on the thumb without too much strength. Exhaling through the pretty nose the younger man's lips parted again, head leaning further back and hand scratching over Hoseok’s upper arm at the way it felt, slowly gliding down. 

“You're beautiful, Hoseok. I love the way you make me feel.” A soft smile infused into the mesmerizing facial features, interrupted by bodily sensations, eyes closing and limbs relaxing to adjust better.

It was intense, the feeling of being inside the other man mixed with the signs of affection Hyungwon was showering him with, the emotionally loaded expression on the mesmerizing face and his own undisclosed desire to melt, to open himself, to show how the young, beautiful man made him feel.

“You're bittersweet torture to me,” Hoseok replied and waited for a sign that he could move, giving the beautiful body the possibility to adjust. He placed a kiss on the lean calf on his shoulder, drowning in the perceptions.

The nails dug further into his skin, pulling him closer just as the hips shifted, causing movement and allowing a soft moan to leave the plump lips. Hyungwon watched him as he released his hands from Hoseok’s upper arms and placed them next to his head on the desk instead, holding onto the edge with his fingers.

“Move,” he whispered. “I missed you.”

The whole situation seemed absolutely unreal, the quiet words sent shivers down his spine and he moved back slowly before sliding back in, while lifting Hyungwon’s lower body up to get the angle. 

Hoseok wanted to make him scream, to eliminate every bit of distance that existed between them. 

The younger man bit his lip and moaned loudly, breathy sound echoing through the office. Hyungwon immediately released one of his hands from the wooden edge it was holding onto and covered his mouth, blue eyes wider than before and remaining on Hoseok’s face. The slim body pushed back immediately, yearning for more. 

_ Kihyun left, could someone still be in the building? _

He didn't know, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He slammed his hips into Hyungwon, leaning in and hissing next to the small ear.

“Don't you dare muffle any of those beautiful sounds, I want to hear everything.”

The eyes widened even further, hand leaving the plump mouth as the beautiful man screamed, head hitting the hard wooden surface and fingers scratching over it at the same time. 

The scream must have done something as Hyungwon threw his head back and began mumbling, begging for Hoseok to continue and to give him more, to set him on fire and touch him. 

“Shit, Hoseok, please,” he gasped, this time louder and hips flush against Hoseok’s. Hyungwon was out for his sanity, he was absolutely sure. He repeated the movements before taking the beautiful body from the desk and pressing the smooth back against a wall, enjoying the close proximity, the warm skin flush against his and the fact that he could see any change in facial expression.

“I want to see that beautiful face of yours,” he whispered, letting the slim body slide down his length and licking over the plump addicting lips in front of him. 

Hyungwon immediately curled the long arms around his neck, gasping into his mouth and pulling the hair, desperation obvious in the way he moved and acted, attaching himself fully. His inhibitions faded in the speed of light, body moving almost on its own, acting on the desire to see more of the other man's desperation, to hear more screams and to bask in the way the beautiful person in his arms had wanted him. 

“Do you want me, Hyungwon?” he whispered while thrusting up, rolling his hips smoothly while holding the lean thighs in place. 

The younger man nodded furiously, kissing his lips repeatedly, connecting them immediately as soon as they separated for a second. Screams continuously spilled from the addicting mouth, legs attempting to pull Hoseok closer, to melt their bodies into one. 

“I want you, fuck, I want you so much, Hoseok,” the young man gasped, screaming as Hoseok thrust up again, slim body shivering in his arms. “There is no one that I want more than you. Please give yourself to me, please.”

_ He wants you to give yourself, just like he does.  _

A breath got stuck inside his lungs as he closed his eyes shortly, exhaling sharply against the golden skin, collecting his spilling emotions into one proper semantic message. His hands shivered a little when he opened his orbs and encountered the huge, almost black eyes, piercing through him. 

“I try. I swear I'll try,” he breathed out, leaning in slowly and placing a soft kiss against the plump lower lip. 

“Drive me mad, I love everything you do,” the beautiful man moaned back, head hitting the wall, unable to kiss with the way he reacted. His plump lips released a loud scream, hands scratching along Hoseok’s shoulders and leaving marks. 

The desperation drove him absolutely mad, it was as if Hyungwon had known all along what to do such that he lost his mind in a matter of seconds. His teeth sunk into the soft skin of the thin shoulder while he slammed his hips into the young man he held in an iron grip. 

Feeling a little dizzy, lack of sleep reminding him of his limits, he walked over to the couch. The way the other man lay over the red leather looked even more mesmerizing, reminding him of a present he didn't deserve. Placing his palms on the couch next to Hyungwon’s face, he leaned in, biting into the already red lip, soothing the spot with a couple of licks right after. When his length disappeared inside the other man once again, he let out a low moan, eyes closing automatically at the feeling before he got a grip and started moving faster, bending the delicate body to get the angle and hear more of the screams he loved so much.

Hyungwon seemed delirious, screaming at each thrust and leaving small dents in the red leather with his fingernails, easily lifting his legs higher to improve the angle and give Hoseok more space. The muscle tension increased quickly as bliss was written all over the breathtakingly beautiful face, blue eyes and red lips appearing ethereal in contrast with the black hair. 

“How much do you want me, Hoseok?” the low voice managed to breathe out, another scream echoing through the empty office and knuckles white from the way the younger man gripped the red couch, attempting to keep himself in place as Hoseok slammed into him. 

“So much that I'm willing to give myself.” He curled the fingers of his right hand around the twitching erection, stroking it along with the intense movements of his hips, feeling his own release tingling at the fingertips, begging to be let out. 

The slim body below him tensed, visible shiver running over the long legs with each combined sensation that hit the young man. Hyungwon mumbled curses, mixed with his name and desperate pleas for his touch, his skin against the younger man's and his lips pressed to the plump ones. The long fingers dug into his shoulders, scratches deep and red, resulting from lack of self control and deep yearning. 

A few more thrusts were sufficient to make the blue eyed man convulse, screaming as he thrashed from side to side on the red couch below Hoseok and released himself between the two, contracting around Hoseok’s erection rhythmically in the process, harsh breaths leaving the beautiful lips. 

Hyungwon was mesmerizing. 

Hoseok leaned down, pressing his lips against the addicting mouth and moved his hips a couple of times, sufficient to send him over the edge, low moan caught by Hyungwon’s beautiful lips. His arms shivered, trying to hold him up, to not let his body collapse on top of the thin figure below him. His strength was strained beyond healthy. 

The long fingers stroked over his hair, impossibly affectionate and placing kisses on his shoulder and neck, everything the younger man could reach. Hyungwon's legs remained tight around his hips, unwilling to let him go and part with his body, warmth transcending between them. 

“You're really beautiful, Hoseok,” the blue eyed man whispered, watching his face intently and licking over his lips. 

“I think I might faint if I don't lie down, Hyungwon,” he whispered, white stars dancing around blurring his vision. 

The other appeared a little panicked, sitting up quickly, causing the two of them to separate while still stroking over Hoseok’s black hair. 

“Right now? Do you think you could get tissues first? I'm kinda-” Hyungwon paused, gesturing at his stomach and biting his lip, visibly uncomfortable. The blue eyes jumped back and forth, from his face to the way their bodies were touching.

_ Why are you like this, Hoseok? _

He stood up, holding onto the wall, getting tissues from a drawer on his table and got rid of the condom, cleaning up Hyungwon’s stomach. His vision blurred again and he let himself fall on the red leather, throwing his head back. 

The younger man kneeled on the ground next to him, remaining naked and brushing long fingers through his hair, the other hand resting on Hoseok’s chest. 

“Would you like a glass of water?” Hyungwon asked carefully, placing a kiss on his mouth shortly. “Or would you like to sleep?”

_ Get a grip, get your shit together. _

Collecting the rest of his strength, he pulled the slim figure up, curling both arms around the thin waist and burying his head in the crook of the deliciously smelling neck. 

“I don't know.” 

Another kiss landed on his lips, followed by more on his neck and chest, palm resting flat on his abdomen. Hyungwon curled his whole body around him and soft breaths began tickling his neck. Reaching below the sofa the younger man pulled a black blanket out, covering their naked bodies with it.

“Just sleep, Hoseok. You will feel better.”

_ You can't sleep naked in your office.  _

“Would you come with me? I don't think I can drive.” He pressed the other man tighter, flush against his body, whispering the words against the golden skin. A soft nod followed as Hyungwon stood up and ran over to his clothes, putting everything back on quickly and giving Hoseok his right after, placing them next to the leather couch. 

“I'll drive you. Just get dressed.”

He slipped into his clothes, putting the car key into Hyungwon’s palm and focusing on his steps to the elevator and out of the building, white stars still dancing in his sight, threatening to take over and leave him in the black.

Hyungwon was a good driver, the car and him were like one entity. Pulling the black Porsche into the designated parking spot he looked so stunning, black hair partially hanging into the beautiful blue eyes, adding up to the contrast and letting him look so much more unreal. 

_ Don't think about his beauty, think about how you're going to climb those stairs in your pathetic state. Why is your body like this?  _

“Don't tell anybody if I faint,” Hoseok commented and grinned, trying to hide the fact that he wasn't joking. A look in the mirror was enough to see how unusually pale he was. 

“Shit.” Hyungwon jumped out of the car seat immediately, sound of the door closing and pressure rising painfully in his ears. The younger man ran around and opened the passenger door, face worried as he held out an arm in Hoseok’s direction. “Hold on.”

_ You should sleep. But can you? _

“I think I'm really getting old if my assistant has to accompany me up the stairs.” Hoseok chuckled, squeezing his eyes shut a couple of times, stepping out of the car and trying to get his blood flow going by moving up and down on his toes. 

“You're probably busy, I don't want to steal more of your time than I already did. You can go if you want to.” He turned towards Hyungwon, holding on to the car door and trying to calm his ridiculous heartbeat. 

_ You've never pushed yourself such that your body gave out, congratulations.  _

“Bullshit,” Hyungwon hissed and curled Hoseok’s arm around his shoulders, frowning at him. “I'll get you home and then we sleep.” 

It was hard to tell whether the sped up heartbeat had been due to the bodily condition, or the words that were coming out of Hyungwon’s mouth. 

“Are you doing this for me?” Hoseok asked, holding onto the thin shoulder and walking up the first couple of stairs carefully. 

“Partially,” was the quiet answer, blue eyes fully concentrated on the steps, making sure Hoseok was stable.

_ What else is he doing it for? _

He didn't say anything, thinking was hard and so was walking up the insane amount of stairs. Finally arriving at the door, he walked in, feeling exhausted and also a little dehydrated, going straight for the kitchen and pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge.

Hyungwon followed him, turning on the light. Leaning against the door frame the blue eyed man watched him carefully, lips pulled into a thin line. He must have been worried. 

“Will you brush your teeth or not bother?” he asked and crossed his arms, a few faint marks covering the beautiful neck visible in the brighter light.

_ You idiot.  _

“I will, I still have your toothbrush.” He emptied the bottle and walked over to the bathroom, brushing his teeth furiously and hating himself, his body, his insomnia, Hyungwon’s stunning appearance and being inferior. He washed his face and got rid of the clothes, crawling under the blanket and feeling a little more at ease that he was in a horizontal position finally. 

He heard how Hyungwon turned on the water in the sink, overshadowing all other noises for a while. Once the sound stopped the familiar screeching of the shower door followed, steps quiet but perceivable as the water turned on, louder this time. 

_ He's taking a shower after all the mess, would be nice if you could fall asleep while he's there.  _

He didn't, he just kept lying on the huge bed, curled into the designer blanket, but not able to walk stairs by himself. 

_ Why is he helping you? Not because you had sex, that's for sure.  _

He breathed in and out slowly, thoughts passing his exhausted brain, turning in circles and leaving a prominent feeling of fear. 

_ What if you can't stop, what if you can't stop wanting him? You can't be doing this forever. _

The water stopped and he heard how Hyungwon got ready, steps sounding throughout the apartment until he heard his voice, quiet and talking to someone. 

“Hey Namjoon, I just wanted to say that I'm not gonna be home today, so don't worry too much.” A few more steps sounded, like Hyungwon walked back and forth in the hallway while talking. 

_ Who's Namjoon? A friend? A boyfriend? It must be someone he lives with. _

“Something came up with work, don't worry about- No no one is overworking me, I'm doing great,” the younger man explained after a while, still whispering and probably not aware of how weird that sounded for still being at work. 

_ You're overworking him, with non-work- related stuff.  _

“Alright, take care and sleep well and stop thinking I'll get raped on the streets of Paris.”

A few deep breaths followed from the hallway before Hyungwon opened the door to the bedroom carefully and slipped inside, closing it behind himself with barely any noise. 

The younger man must have been thinking that he was asleep already, remaining as quiet as possible with the way he crawled on top of the bed, long legs slipping under the blanket and keeping the distance between them. 

“Are you feeling pressured by all this?” Hoseok whispered, staring at the ceiling while playing with the skin on his fingers. 

“By what exactly? Lying next to you? No,” Hyungwon replied, slim body moving closer and naked legs intertwining with Hoseok’s, cold foot stroking along his calf. 

“No, by the whole situation, that you ‘have to’ sleep next to me and it's not even Friday, having people worry about you.” He was making the young man's life unnecessarily complex. 

Arms were placed around his waist and one palm on his firm chest as Hyungwon closed the distance, head resting on his shoulder. 

“It was my own decision to sleep next to you today and that's what I’m doing. It has nothing to do with the deal.” He could feel the plump lips spread into a smile against his skin. “And even if it did, your main point was to have a day on which you can sleep properly. Choosing Friday was arbitrary, wasn't it?”

The lilac scent entered his nose and he placed a kiss on top of the beautiful man's head. 

“But I still want you to come tomorrow,” he whispered, biting down on his lower lip and hating not having any resources. 

The younger didn't reply for a short while, stroking along his hair and the warm skin of his waist instead, breaths a little quickened. 

“I will,” he murmured eventually, placing a kiss on Hoseok’s neck, almost impossible to perceive with how light the touch was. 

_ He will.  _

“I'm happy, but I don't get why you're doing it to yourself.” Hoseok let his fingers roam over the smooth back, the desire to kiss the plump lips spreading all over his body.

“I thought we already agreed on mutual benefits,” Hyungwon whispered, hiding his face in Hoseok’s shoulder and stroking over the pale skin with his fingertips. 

“Your benefit, what is it?” Hoseok lifted the other man's chin, to get the facial expression.

Hyungwon was chewing on his lower lip still looking to the side, fingertips digging a little further into Hoseok’s skin than before. 

“I get you for a day.”

_ Bullshit.  _

“It still doesn't make sense, you're around me every day.” He placed a kiss on the pursed lips. “And then you just come into my office and undress in front of me. Do you know how many resources it costs me not to do anything to you, while you're walking around around me the whole week?”

“You're distant during the week and barely talk to me.” The low voice sounded bitter, beautiful face turning towards the shoulder again. “So I only have Saturday. The only day you don't have a stick up your arse.”

_ Bitch what? _

“Are you naive or just ignorant? I told you that I'm distant so that I won't crack, like today. How do you think this is supposed to work when you're running around being all stunning and gorgeous, biting that lip of yours in front of my fucking face. I want to kiss you and touch you but I'm at work and so are you and you said you didn't want anything more but a Saturday. That didn't work well, did it?” Hoseok leaned back and stared at the unreal face of the man who was basically lying on top of him. 

Hyungwon lifted his head properly, staring at him. The nails were almost painful now, blue eyes narrowed. 

“I would have been perfectly fine with only Saturday if you had remained the way you were at work. Instead of this poor excuse of civilised conversation.” The younger man sighed in frustration and rolled to the side, staring at the ceiling instead. 

“Ah, you missed conversation so you decided to sit naked on my desk to improve it?” Hoseok turned, placing one arm next to Hyungwon’s head, hovering over the beautiful body and smirked, amused at the lack of proper argumentation. 

“Well,” Hyungwon began, turning to him and rolling his eyes. “You're also hot, duh. But that wouldn't be so much of a problem if you weren't in your ‘dominant but not giving a single shit’ mode.” Another sigh followed, eyes widening a little. “I cracked, okay? Are you happy now?” Again the blue eyed man turned away and bit down on his lower lip. 

“I think its really cute how you continuously try to bullshit me. The one who cracked was me, you were fully prepared.” Hoseok narrowed his gaze and leaned closer. “What is it that you want, mhm?” 

Silence followed as the younger man slid his hand into Hoseok’s hair and raked through it, staring at him without answering, lower lip sucked into his mouth and eyes wide, deep blue reflecting the light from the window. Hyungwon inhaled deeply, fingers pulling a little at the black strands. 

“Attention, I guess.”

_ He doesn't want to tell you.  _

Hoseok sighed, closing his eyes out of frustration. 

“You want my attention? Aren't you past the age where you look up to your teacher? You're driving me nuts, Hyungwon.” He let himself fall back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. 

The beautiful body curled up to him, one leg thrown over his hips and arms around his waist, plump lips placing a light kiss on his neck. 

“Don't make fun of me because I'm younger than you, Hoseok. You know it's not like that. I-” He paused, exhaling slowly and appearing in thought, stroking along Hoseok’s chest and digging into the muscles on the way. “I want physical attention and cognitive input. That- No wait. Can't we just stay with the deal and not think about this too much?”

“No we can't because it's getting out of hand already as I keep thinking about it.” A hand sunk into the silky strands of the younger man's hair as he kept thinking about the words Hyungwon had whispered into his face while lying on his desk. “I'm still deciding whether I should act as if I'm believing the bullshit you're trying to tell me right now, or just go with what you moaned into my face while lying on my table in the office.” 

The beautiful face lifted from his shoulder, staring at him as the lips parted but no sound came out. Hyungwon seemed shocked, licking over his lips and pressing his head back to the shoulder quickly, silence stretching indefinitely. 

_ The second then.  _

“I guess you still want me to give myself to you,” Hoseok commented while tracing the outline of the beautiful lips. The soft hair brushed over his shoulder as Hyungwon nodded, placing a kiss against the finger that stroked over his mouth. 

“But- of course I kinda lose my shit when you fuck me so that's not the epitome of accuracy,” the younger man murmured right after. 

“I think it was pretty accurate though.” Hoseok chuckled and placed a kiss on the black hair, smelling like spring. “You don't have to freak out, I'll try.”

The arms tightened around him shortly before letting go and Hyungwon pulled himself almost fully on top of him, palms cupping Hoseok’s face and kissing him, blue eyes closed. When their lips parted there was a beautiful smile on Hyungwon's face and he curled up again, completely attached and allowing no space between them, black hair against his shoulder. 

Hoseok kissed back before curling his arms around the slim body, feeling strangely happy and at ease, slipping into the long awaited blackness slowly, lilac scent the only thing on his mind when everything turned off. 

***

There weren't many things that had an effect on Shin Hoseok. The list consisted of exactly three elements according to Hyungwon’s knowledge, teasing him with words until it turned sexual, letting go during sex and things that reminded him of that woman called Judith. That was about it. 

There had been no way that Hoseok would have acted himself, breaking the distance he had kept building up throughout the week and finally acting like a decent human being again. So Hyungwon had to act himself. 

Undressing and sitting down on his superiors’ work desk, ready to be fucked with a condom and lube in hand had seemed like the best solution and Hyungwon had firmly believed that to be true until the very end. 

_ The end when he almost fainted because he hadn't been able to sleep.  _

It had been clear that Hoseok needed sleep, body giving up on him and face deadly pale, so Hyungwon had driven him home, cancelled on Namjoon to make sure his friend didn't worry too much, and finally crawled into bed with the older man. 

_ Only to be confronted with the things you can't have.  _

Hyungwon would have loved to tell Hoseok that he wanted him instead of a stupid deal. Him and nobody else and also no frustrating distance, pathetic attempts at erasing everything that was between them just to light it all up on Friday again, repeating the torturous game for eternity. 

_ He wants you to be close Friday night and Saturday just to pretend that you basically don't know him for the rest of the fucking week. He has no idea what that's like. _

The older man's confession that he had attempted to stay away to not get closer than he was supposed to, more than an assistant and a superior should be, caught him off guard. It made him realize that Hoseok wanted him more than he let on, constantly playing strong and distant, dominant in his actions but wanting him just as much.

_ You want to have all of him.  _

He couldn’t say it, but he didn't have to as Hoseok didn't give a single shit about any of his attempts to explain himself, seeing through his excuses and throwing the words he had screamed as the older man had been inside of him, in his face. It was the truth, exactly what Hyungwon desired more than anything else, to know more about the beautiful older man and be the subject of all of his affection, even if they weren't supposed to be in a relationship like that. 

“You don't have to freak out, I'll try,” Hoseok told him, grabbing all of the worries that Hyungwon had concerning the revelation of his emotional attachment and throwing them all out of the window, euphoria spreading out like fire and causing him to almost squish the older man, kissing his lips firmly and attaching himself as much as he could, unwilling to let go. Ever. 

Time passed as the breaths became slower, the way his head lifted with the firm chest turned smoother, less obvious. The beautiful man's heart was beating calmly, indicating that he had fallen asleep.

The feeling was strange, like Hyungwon had a special power that no one else had, able to allow the older man to sleep. It was something that Hoseok needed to survive, inherently required all the time and impossibly valuable. It made him feel so full of worth for the older man, being the only one that could give him such a present. 

Stroking over the black hair he compared it with his own, smiling at how similar it was with the exception that Hoseok’s was a deeper colour, less prone to artificial reflections. The older man was so beautiful, stealing Hyungwon's breath away although he merely slept, curved lips parted a little and eyes closed, eyelashes creating fine shadows on the pale cheeks. 

Hoseok looked mature, definitely older than him but that didn't reduce his attractiveness in any way. The dominance that the older man naturally possessed would have much less of an effect on him had the black-haired been his age. Hyungwon rarely let himself be pushed into behaviour and into backing down but Hoseok had that ability, easily making him develop emotions he had never wanted to put into the equation. 

_ You're in love already, aren't you? _

He gasped, sound loud in the silence but not enough to wake up the older man, sleeping deeply and not moving an inch. Hyungwon stroked over the pale skin of the other's face, warmth spreading in his chest and only adding up to the constricting feeling he felt, worries and euphoria intermingling into a complex whole.

_ You're fucked, Hyungwon. You're not supposed to fall in love with your boss.  _

_  
  


The familiar sound of his alarm filled his ears, breaking the pleasant veil that his dreams had created, images forgotten as soon as Hyungwon opened his eyes. His vision remained mostly dark, only a little bit of light entering through the curtains as it was still too early for natural light. He wasn't home, the bed was way too big and soft for that, in addition to the fact that his legs fit in their whole length. 

Groaning at how unfair everything was he let go of the beautiful body that he had been hugging and crawled along the mattress towards the edge. The loud tune of one of his favourite dubstep songs continued playing as he forced himself to put his weight on his legs and walk over to the neatly folded clothes, finally closing his long fingers around the device and turning the alarm off.

_ 6:30. _

He sighed, turning towards the bed just to see that Hoseok remained asleep, body in the exact same position Hyungwon had seen it last. The older man must have been almost dying from lack of sleep. 

He couldn't get himself to wake him up so Hyungwon got ready instead, taking an extended shower and basking in the fact that he had shitloads of space for everything. Unfortunately he was still unable to make himself a coffee, standing in the kitchen and staring at the machine helplessly. 

_ Just try to wake him up. It's seven already and he has an appointment at eight fifteen.  _

Hyungwon walked back to the bedroom and climbed on top of the gigantic bed, feeling strange to be the one to wake the older man up. It was like a mixture of his actual duties and something that he wanted to be part of his life, waking up the next to beautiful man everyday. 

“Wake up, Hoseok, it's already past seven,” he murmured and shook the broad shoulders. He wasn't even able to let go properly as strong arms pulled him down immediately, fingers roaming over his clothed body. 

“Why are you dressed?” Hoseok asked in his low morning voice. 

“Because we need to go to work and it's already past seven,” Hyungwon replied matter of factly and tried to free himself, not sure how he was supposed to act now. Their relationship was fucking messy, talking calmly for two days while making innuendos, then ignoring each other for a week and finally simply fucking without any innuendos. It was a shitshow.

“Can't you just undress and we sleep until Saturday?” Hoseok didn't let him move an inch, holding him in a strong grip despite being sleepy. 

_ Ehm, what? _

His eyes widened and he curled his hands around Hoseok’s, trying to loosen the grip without success. 

“N-no, we can't. You have an appointment at a quarter past eight and it'll be weird if both of us don't come to work. Once is enough already, isn't it?” he elaborated, hoping it would solve the problem quickly and finally make the older man stand up. 

“Would be funny, I'd love to see Kihyun’s face right now. He thinks I'm there so he'll go to my office and there's stuff lying everywhere.” The grip loosened and Hoseok sat up. “I hope he doesn't play detective and look in the garbage.” A bright grin was plastered all over the handsome face. The older man pulled himself down and jumped to his feet in a smooth movement. He must've felt good after sleeping, reactions much more adequate and quick compared to the past days.

_ But he must be mental to joke about being found out.  _

An ice cold shudder moved down Hyungwon's back at the thought alone that somebody could find out that he liked his boss and the older man was joking about the finance manager finding out that they fucked. Holy shit. 

_ You have to fix everything up.  _

_ And hope that nobody was there with the way he made you scream and didn't let you shut yourself up.  _

He crawled down from the bed and took a few deep breaths, watching Hoseok get ready and forcing himself to not be affected by the beautiful, worked out body. 

“Anything you want me to prepare? Breakfast?” he asked, wanting to be useful somehow and thereby be at work early enough to fix the office up such that it seemed like nothing had happened. 

“Nah, let's just get something at the bakery before going. Let me show you how to make coffee and then you can do it while I shower real quick.” Hoseok walked over to the kitchen and started explaining the steps needed to get a cup of coffee, walking over to the bathroom right after. 

Hyungwon felt like a fucking barista, putting freshly grounded coffee into some device and attaching it to the machine. He fixed up two cups of coffee and felt like he had achieved a great deed, jumping up on the counter and crossing his legs comfortably. 

The apartment was fucking gigantic and sitting around in a suit while drinking fresh coffee made him feel fabulous. Grinning he took a picture of himself, sending it to Namjoon right after, only to remember what he had told his best friend. 

_ You told him you're staying at work you idiot. _

He bit his lip and thought about nice ways to explain himself as he examined Hoseok’s schedule for the day, mostly empty since the older man had been in the process of dying from insomnia. 

The coffee was delicious so Hyungwon jumped down from the counter and placed it on the glass table, kneeling next to it to take a nice selective focus shot of it for his Instagram, concentrated and chewing on his lip in the process. 

“Is the picture for Namjoon, photographer Chae?” a low voice behind him asked and he turned around, spotting Hoseok standing in the door frame, wearing a black silk shirt with tight chino pants. 

“Nah, he got one of me on the counter with pouty lips,” Hyungwon answered with a grin and admired the way the pants hugged the firm thighs before returning his attention to his coffee cup, taking another shot and getting up, drinking the rest of it. 

“Ah, now I'm jealous, I also wanted to see it.” The older man smirked and walked over, taking the other cup and smelling the dark brown liquid inside. 

“I'm pretty sure that you already saw much nicer things than me on a counter.” Hyungwon licked over his lips and jumped up on the surface again, spreading his legs on purpose and raising an eyebrow.

The dark gaze slid over his body while Hoseok licked his lips slowly. 

“You seem to have a thing for sitting spread legged on surfaces,” the other commented. “Not that I'm complaining, I decided that I won't torture myself, it's no fun.” Hoseok leaned against the counter across from him, grabbing the edges and biting down on the lower lip, gaze sliding up and down his body. 

_ Game on. _

Hyungwon followed the action, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and slid his ass a little further back on the surface, allowing himself to lean his head against the white wall and showing more of his neck, thighs resting fully on the counter and spread wide. Smirking and watching Hoseok he let his palms travel along his own inner thighs before resting them on the sides. 

“You fucking tease.” The other man grinned and licked his lips again. “You might have to tell about your racy night in the office. I didn't go completely nuts but your neck did suffer a little.” The gaze turned more dark in a matter of seconds. “I like it.”

_ Shit. _

Hyungwon immediately lifted a hand to his neck, which was stupid because he couldn't feel how bad it was anyway. In addition he didn't have a scarf or a turtleneck to hide it. Talking about love bites at work was a no go, especially since Kihyun had only joked at the beginning of the week about him having sex. Hyungwon hated proving people right. Fuck.

“How bad is it?” he asked, but didn't want to let Hoseok win, baring more of his neck and pulling the tie down with his index and middle finger. 

Hoseok pushed himself away from the counter and walked out of the kitchen. He heard noises from the bedroom before the other came back in, a blue silk scarf over the broad shoulders. Closing the distance the older man untied his tie slowly, smirk in place. 

“It's not very bad, but bad enough. There are a couple of marks.” The handsome face came closer, placing a soft kiss against his neck. “Here.” Another kiss followed “And here.” The hot lips touched his neck behind the ear lobe. “And here too.”

_ The distance is gone.  _

Hyungwon hissed, body reacting to the ministrations and curled his long leg around the older man's hips, pulling him closer to also have an effect and not be the only one reacting to the proximity. He only held on with his legs as he put his hands above his head on purpose, head remaining pressed to the wall as he glanced up showing more of his marked neck. 

“I love it, it looks beautiful.” The other hissed too and leaned back, putting more distance between them, sliding the silk fabric from the shoulders and curling the strong arms around his neck, silk sliding along his golden skin. “But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable because of me.” 

Hyungwon inhaled deeply, loving the way the blue silk felt against his skin. He remained in place, arms above his head, legs spread and chewing on his lower lip. 

“I prefer the ones on my inner thighs,” he commented and waited for Hoseok to tie the scarf as he liked. 

“You're temptation turned human, fuck.” Hoseok put the scarf around his neck and leaned in, parting his lips with the warm tongue, sliding in and biting down on his lower lip while the strong arms curled around his waist. 

Hyungwon kissed back, forcing his arms to remain in place to not be the one who pulled the older man closer, basking in the way the warm hands felt on his slim waist. He opened his eyes to see the beautiful face and the way it stayed close, wanting to be closer to him.

It was crazy how the older man hadn't reacted at all until yesterday, only cracking when Hyungwon was naked on his table, ready to be ravished.

_ The table that is still completely wiped unless you go there and fix it, Hyungwon.  _

“But you still have an appointment,” he whispered against the curved mouth, suddenly remembering the fact that it had already been late when Hoseok woke up. 

“I know.” Hoseok grinned and moved away, taking the abandoned cup and gulping everything down in one movement. “Wanna drive?” The pale hand pulled the Porsche key out of the pocket.

Hyungwon couldn't help but nod immediately, eagerness to be in control of the beautiful car faster than his pride. He bit his lip once it was already too late and jumped down, slipping into his shoes and grabbing his things. 

It felt strange to drive to work instead of taking the metro and being confronted with all types of smells that betrayed the fact that humanity wasn't fully developed yet. He parked smoothly into the spot that Hoseok pointed out to him and felt reluctant about leaving the car, enjoying driving it way more than he probably should have. 

“You're a good driver, you have a feeling for the car. It's rare,” the low voice commented before the older man stepped out of the car, waiting for him and walking towards the entrance.

Hyungwon took another deep breath to not reveal his infatuation like an idiot just because he spent the night in his bosses bed and climbed out, closing the car with the key and returning it to the older man. 

“I almost never drive,” Hyungwon commented with a smile, still affected by the compliment. “I'm a metro person.”

_ Nice way to say that you can't afford a car.  _

Hoseok smiled, stepping out of the elevator where Kihyun already waited for them. 

“Did you get angry and wipe your desk with Hyungwon or something? It's a fucking mess, get your life under control and go talk to her.” The short man dug his index finger into Hoseok’s chest before turning to him, eyes widening. “Isn't that Hoseok’s scarf? If you're close enough to share accessories you should tell him to go talk to Judith, maybe he'll listen to you.” Kihyun groaned throwing his head back.

Hyungwon couldn’t help the panic at the fact that the finance manager immediately saw the few things he had attempted to hide. His eyes widened in shock and he bit his lip, concentrating on the best way to act. Swallowing he forced his self control back and smiled shortly. 

“No, that's mine. Fits my eyes, wouldn't look good on him anyway,” he remarked and stroked over the pleasant fabric once. “I don't think that I can influence him more than you can. Why do you need to talk to her anyway?” Hyungwon turned to Hoseok, seeing the possibility of finding out more than the older man wished to share. 

Hoseok tensed shortly before exhaling and looking up to the ceiling. 

“She has my company shares and I want to buy them for thrice the price. She wants me to talk to her instead of selling them, I don't want to, that's basically the story.” The low voice sounded tensed. 

“You forgot to mention that you're an emotionally constipated idiot,” Kihyun added walking backwards towards his office, as if he was hiding. 

Hyungwon would have laughed if he hadn't been absolutely sure that the other man had a perfectly legitimate reason to run away after such a comment. He bit his lip in thought and placed a palm on Hoseok’s shoulder, thinking about how he would have solved the situation if he had been the beautiful older man. 

_ You can't understand because he still cares about her, that's what Kihyun meant.  _

“Can't you just play the impossibly distant and not giving a shit self that you do so well and talk to her? Showing her how little shits you give and how fucking dominant you are and proving that keeping the shares is only her loss,” Hyungwon tried, speaking quietly such that Kihyun wouldn't hear. “You're so good at pretending not to care.”

A sad smile appeared on the handsome face before the gaze settled on his eyes in a way Hyungwon didn't see it before. It was somehow raw and vulnerable.

“I can't, because she knows me. I can only hurt her or ignore her. That's it.” 

Hyungwon couldn't help but feel angry at the woman that made Hoseok look as upset and vulnerable as he did, unable to sleep and constantly stuck on memories that he probably wished to leave behind. 

“Then hurt her,” he replied, bitterness soaking his words like chloroform a tissue. His blue eyes focused on the impossibly dark ones. 

_ Why are you like this, Hyungwon? You like him but it's not up to you to decide how he treats his past lovers. _

The black eyes widened, curled lips parting a little, shock visible on the beautiful face. 

“I'm not a person like that,” Hoseok whispered and moved towards his office. 

“But do you want to suffer and be unable to sleep for the rest of your fucking life instead?” he called after him, still standing close to Kihyun's office and not moving an inch, worried about the older man and the way he continuously ruined his health because of pointless emotional attachment. 

_ You're the one to talk.  _

Hoseok simply ignored him, closing the door behind himself. 

“Yeeeah, that's what I'm asking myself.” Kihyun’s head appeared in the door frame. 

Hyungwon jerked at the sudden movement and rolled his eyes at the other man. 

“Don't think I can do much about that except for help him sleep,” he replied and walked past Kihyun's office to his own, deciding to make a coffee first before disturbing Hoseok again. 

_ Don't talk to him about Judith unless you want him to ignore you again.  _

Arranging two espressi on a small plate he knocked on their connecting door, hoping the older man wasn't angry at him. A familiar hum sounded from behind the painted wood.

He entered and bit his lip, worried that Hoseok might still be angry. He placed the plate on the table and cursed at how much stuff was still lying around the desk, memories of how Hoseok had taken him on the wooden surface causing a shiver to run through his limbs and face, heating up a little, fitting to the fast hammering of his heart.

Hoseok looked up, gaze intense as always, small smile playing around the corners of the curved mouth. 

“You know what that reminds me of? You know in old Jerusalem the people came to the temple to sacrifice sheep so the God would have mercy?” A bright grin spread on the handsome face before the muscular arms pushed the body away from the desk and the other stood up walking over to him and taking a cup. “Thank you.”

_ Guess who could tell that you almost freaked out? Exactly, Hyungwon. Your boss. _

Sighing at himself he sat down on the couch, long fingers running through his black hair, still surprised whenever a black strand covered his eyes instead of a brown one.

“You must have some intense self esteem if you compare yourself to a god,” he said with a grin and crossed his legs. “Too bad that I'm not religious then.”

“I just told you a story, you made the conclusion, but I'm delighted, thank you.” Hoseok smiled, sitting down across him and taking a sip of the coffee. Something in the gaze changed and the older man leaned back, observing his face intently and with a lot of interest. “You still intend on coming today?”

“A deal is a deal,” Hyungwon replied and took a sip of the other cup he had prepared, enjoying the strong scent “I saw that a trip to Germany is coming up.” 

The other man rolled his eyes at the comment regarding the deal and took another sip. “Yes, next week. Also I'm free after six because I shifted everything beforehand, you can go eat with me or you can come at ten to sleep, as you like.” 

_ There is no fucking way you can say no to that, but don't be fucking obvious, Hyungwon. Sitting naked on his desk was enough of that.  _

“Are you inviting me to dinner?” Hyungwon asked and grinned, loosening the blue silk around his neck because it was way too warm for the office and he had nothing to hide from the older man. Hoseok had seen almost everything anyway. 

“Sure, why? Want to blackmail me with that?” Hoseok smirked, confidence dripping out of every pore.

“Why would I? I just can't say no to free food.” Hyungwon took another sip and shifted on the red leather, grin still in place. “Are you awake enough to take another look at my adapted structure, Mr. Shin?”

“Sure, now that you bought my mercy with amazing coffee.” The older man inhaled the rest of the coffee, placing the empty cup on the glass table with a loud noise. 

“I sent it via email,” Hyungwon commented and stood up, walking to the desk and picking up a few items to put them where they belonged, pencil landing in the box that he had thrown off with his arm. 

_ Stop thinking about how he fucked you and present your damn project, Hyungwon.  _

Maybe that's why Hoseok had wanted distance in the first place. 

_  
  


The euphoria was back, filling out his limbs from the toes to the fingertips, warmth spreading and excitement bubbling in his chest. 

It had been just like Monday, bright smile gifted to every person that glanced at him in the metro independent of whether they frowned or not, happiness overwhelming and enough to share with the whole world. 

Namjoon had survived Hyungwon not coming home and hadn't really commented on it either, just raising his voice strangely whenever Hyungwon used the word ‘work’, like he was of the very elaborate opinion that whatever Hyungwon did at night, it wasn't work. 

_ He did comment on the scarf, just saying that it looked fancy, so there is at least that.  _

It was just a matter of time until Hyungwon was able to spend a whole evening and then a whole day with the older man, basking in his attention and making him his. Luckily the lunch break had been long enough to go home and change into something more appropriate and fitting to his character, black impossibly tight ripped jeans and a loose white sweatshirt, fabric soft like a fucking cloud and improved by a v-cut in addition to a ribbon. Hyungwon loved pretty things. 

Most of the day was spent with the preparation for their three day Germany trip and final adjustments to the project. Hoseok had been satisfied and only required minimal changes which were easily taken care of. Also, Hyungwon was delighted at the fact that he could finally be useful with his language skills, having lived in Germany for a relatively long period of time. 

_ Maybe you can distract him from his misery.  _

Avoiding the topic of Judith had been the perfect strategic move as Hoseok hadn't avoided him and talked openly, not reminiscing about painful memories, the fact that he wanted his shares back or any other upsetting thoughts. At least as far as Hyungwon could tell. The two of them also didn't disturb each other while working, busy with their respective appointments and tasks.

_ Except for the fact that you'd rather sit on his desk than in your office.  _

Shortly before six he entered his bosses office, getting comfortable on the couch and waiting for him to return from the meeting with a possible collaborator. Usually Hyungwon would have joined but apparently the owner was paranoid and had requested a meeting with Hoseok only. 

The excitement was only rising and even the thick layer of make-up on his face, a courtesy of quick photos of his profile that the marketing lady wanted to take of him didn't diminish it. 

Slow regular steps sounded in the hallway, coming closer before the door opened and the black haired man stepped inside the office, tight blue suit pants hugging the muscular thighs like a second skin, a pearl white perfectly tailored suit shirt and a fitting blue suit jacket. He looked absolutely gorgeous. The raven black hair was falling softly over the forehead, making the older man look much younger than he was, delicate facial features, dark eyes narrowed in an intense gaze, a perfect nose and beautifully curved lips. 

A smile spread on the breathtakingly handsome face as Hoseok leaned against the white desk. 

“Ready for our date?” 

Hyungwon bit his lip, a little upset because that was what he had wanted to say, teasing the older man for taking him out for dinner like an actual date. 

“Oh, so it's a date now? Will you buy me things, give me compliments and take me home to make love to me?” he asked with a grin and crossed his legs, arms spread over the couch. 

“That depends on whether you behave like a good boy.” Hoseok grinned at him, licking his lips. 

_ Holy fuck, so much to joking.  _

Hyungwon bit his lip such that it remained plump on one side, loosening his white shirt such that it fell prettily over his collar bones. 

“I might if you make it worthwhile, I can be rather difficult to tame,” he said slowly, voice low as he rose from the couch and grabbed his bag, one that looked nice enough for dinner without betraying that he owned it for over four years already, a graduation present. 

“But you were so tame and eager sitting on my desk.” The older man came closer, taking a look at his face. “I see you dolled up, I appreciate that.”

“I can do a lot of things to make you crack,” Hyungwon whispered against Hoseok’s curved mouth before leaning further away and grinning. “Don't flatter yourself, I was taking pictures for the marketing department. I don't apply makeup unless I go clubbing.” Licking over his lips he glanced towards the exit, waiting for the older man to act. 

Hoseok walked towards the door and turned, expecting him to follow. 

“You don't need makeup, it's more like the makeup needs you, with that stunning face of yours.” The older man chuckled. 

_ Compliments, check. Now he just needs to buy you shit and fuck you into the mattress and then you might just as well be dating.  _

His heart skipped a beat at the thought, idea desirable but too unrealistic. There was no way that Hoseok would date him, if not because he was the assistant then because of the remaining affection for the woman that continuously made his life hell. 

_ Judith, her name is Judith.  _

Hyungwon sighed and followed, secretly hoping Hoseok would let him drive. 

“Wanna date my car? I think you two are a perfect couple,” Hoseok commented and threw the keys in his direction. 

_ No, you want to date him.  _

Hyungwon merely grinned, catching them and opening the car, happy because it was not too far from his settings, arranging the seat quickly and already happy at being able to drive. Their time together had just started and it was already awesome. 

When Hoseok had asked him to find a parking garage next to the Eiffel tower Hyungwon hadn't really thought much about it, parking the car beautifully into the narrow space and finally breathing fresh air, walking along the Seine and enjoying the bright lights, reflecting beautifully. It felt a little bit like a cheesy movie but Hyungwon couldn't help but feel happy, running a little faster and leaning over the railing, glancing at the water. 

“Taking the metro I forget that Paris actually has spots that don't smell like piss. It's beautiful,” he called towards the older man who had been walking behind him, not running like a mental person. 

_ Don't be so excited, he'll think that you're a child again.  _

A beautiful smile graced the other man's features as pale hands grabbed the railing right next to him. Hoseok leaned in and closed his dark eyes, expression immediately turning so much softer, calm breeze causing movement in the raven black hair. The sight was breathtaking, Hyungwon found himself looking at the older man instead of the illuminated water, the wish to touch his face and kiss the curved lips overwhelming. 

But it was more intimate than they should get.

So he just watched instead, looking at how some of the light reflections appeared on the pale skin, a light blush present from the cold air. He exhaled slowly and turned back towards the water, fingers of his right hand digging a little into the skin of his palm, bringing him back to reality and out of his Paris date fantasy. 

“Shall we?” he asked softly, unwilling to leave the moment but fearing that he might do something stupid otherwise. 

“Try leaning in a little and close your eyes, doesn't the breeze feel nice?” Hoseok asked not moving an inch. 

Hyungwon inhaled deeply, warmth spreading at the relaxed sight of the older man's features. He was really beautiful. 

“It does,” he whispered while still staring at Hoseok, unable to glance away, hands tightly grabbing the railing and body leaning forward. The breeze was indeed pleasant. It stood in contrast with the warmth that tickled his arm, stemming from the proximity to the black-haired man. 

The dark eyes caught his gaze in a split second, piercing right through him.

“Why don't you close your eyes, I don't think that looking at my face will have the same effect.”

“I closed my eyes, it's just that I was done- closing my eyes I mean,” Hyungwon murmured and shut them quickly, letting the breeze brush over his hair and face, tickling his lips and cheeks. It did feel different, more calm without all the visual input. But he still preferred to watch the beautiful man. 

“The breeze feels like a really light touch, as if someone is stroking your skin.” He felt a warm finger tracing the outline of his jaw. 

Hyungwon's breath hitched, lips parting and inhaling through his nose to compensate for his immediate reaction, warmth spreading in his chest and affection threatening to spill over the well defined borders. He kept his eyes shut and bit his lip, distracting himself with the sensation as his hands held on tighter. 

The touch continued along his neck, going up again before moving over his lips, barely touching.

“How does it feel?”

The pain in his lower lip increased as Hyungwon bit down further, air remaining in his lungs without leaving them. The words caused him to become even more aware of his surroundings, finger like a light feather that brushed over his skin, almost like the wind. 

“It almost feels like the wind is stroking my face, that's how light the touch is, like a feather,” he whispered, eyes still closed and wish to embrace the older man almost painful, chest constricting and lungs burning. “It's as if there is just me and you.” 

“There is, if you close your eyes and perceive me standing next to you, you can probably sense the proximity without touching right? If I just exist next to you like this, my eyes closed and let the breeze stroke over my face and you do the same, then we are somehow in the same perception without explicitly interacting aren't we?” The finger left and Hoseok inhaled deeply. “You look stunning if you close your eyes like this.”

Hyungwon smiled at the words, opening his eyes and glancing at the older man, lights reflected from the river playing along the black strands of hair. 

“You're fascinating, Hoseok. Do you think that sharing such experiences changes the relationship between people? Just seeing something together even if they don't talk about it or evaluate it together?” The moment felt surreal, like Hoseok put emphasis on the perceptions instead of everything else, emotionality remaining in the air without them even touching. “Thank you for the compliment. It makes me look less unusual too. I guess.

“Every relationship lives off the interaction. It ends when the interaction ends.” The other turned around, gaze settling on his features. “Do you suffer from it? You mentioned it a lot, so I guess you don't like it? But isn't looking unusual something valuable, something that gives you experiences others don't have?” 

Hyungwon frowned, biting his lip and staring at the water again, wondering if it was okay to share. 

_ He's not someone to judge. You have to give to receive in return. _

“Well, my parents left Korea because of it. I know it's pretty but it's unnatural. I keep having to explain myself to others or point out I'm not wearing lenses.” He sighed loudly and threw his head back, enjoying how the soft strands felt against the skin of his neck. 

“I also thought you were wearing lenses, but does that matter? I mean- what others think?” the low voice asked while their arms touched. 

Hyungwon chuckled and turned back around, mustering Hoseok’s facial expression carefully. The other was observing his face, jumping from eyes to mouth and back. 

“Isn't that what everyone believes that they should do, but the one thing that no one really can? Everybody wants to be ignorant of others’ opinions but when they are negative one still gets hurt, and still thinks about whether the decision was right.” Hyungwon sighed and established eye contact, staring into the dark orbs of the older man. “Even you care about what people think, people that are close to you and even some that were and aren't anymore. It's wishful thinking, Hoseok.”

“I disagree, there’s a difference whether you care about a special opinion or you just accept the fact that people around you have them. Wishful thinking is the stupid assumption that one can change a person's opinion or attitude by working long enough for it.” The expression turned hard all of the sudden, teeth sinking into the curved lip. 

“But one still gets hurt, Hoseok. Even if a stranger says it. It's difficult to turn that off and I doubt that it's even possible,” Hyungwon murmured and curled his long fingers around the beautiful man's wrist, pulling him further along the river, cold air spreading goosebumps over his skin, regretting that he didn't take a jacket. “I can't just forget about it when someone tells me I'm a freak or a monstrosity. It sticks, even though it's just a fucking eye colour. Luckily it's not that bad in Europe.”

“It's because this place is not where you belong, “ Hoseok commented, stopping suddenly and pulling him along to the railing again, leaning in and looking into his eyes intently before looking past him. “It is okay, but actually you belong to the sea.” 

Hyungwon gasped, a little overwhelmed by the proximity and the seriousness with which Hoseok had spoken the words. The older man meant it, feeling of the situation similar to back then.

_ Like at the beach, in Israel.  _

“And where do you belong?”

A playful smile appeared on the handsome features and Hoseok raised an eyebrow before pointing at his chest with an index finger. 

“You can find that out, I'm not going to do the job for you.” 

“Inside me then,” Hyungwon said and pushed the older man away forcefully. Holding up a middle finger over his head he walked further along the river, chewing his cheek and not looking behind himself. 

_ So much for him trying to show himself. You still have to pull everything out of him with careful fingertips.  _

Hoseok caught up, laughing with his mouth open and holding onto his shoulder. 

“Oh god, you're really cute when you get angry,” the older man commented and stopped him, pointing at the Eiffel tower. “We need to go there.”

“What, why?” Hyungwon exclaimed, caught off guard and knowing exactly that it was first expensive and second romantic as fuck. “Do you wanna make out at the top?” He laughed with an eye roll, still a little angry at Hoseok for making fun of him. “I can still kick you pretty painfully in the dick though, doubt that it's all that cute.”

“You want to make out? I actually wanted to eat at Jules Vernes. Now that I have the half million that Judith doesn't want I might as well spend it on ridiculously expensive food.” The black-haired grinned. “Try kicking me and you'll be lying on the floor in a split second. I told you I'm a triple black belt in Taekwondo.”

_ Wait for it, Mister.  _

Hyungwon's eyes widened at the number, brain barely comprehending how many cheap croissant and coffee sets made up half a million. In addition the older man had mentioned Judith himself, even joking about his own misery.

_ He's sharing with you.  _

The whiplash was back, getting upset at not being talked to openly just to have further information and openness thrown in his face. 

Smiling brightly Hyungwon curled his hand around Hoseok’s arm and squeezed it, watching the dark eyes as they walked towards the beautifully lit Eiffel tower. 

“What she should be wanting is you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 11th of May at 2 PM CET.
> 
> Hoseok opens up more and the relationship will progress, look forward to know more about the older man and how Hyungwon will deal with the facts.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not sure whether I went completely nuts, or if it’s you.”

It was refreshing. Having someone who didn't know him from before, who didn't know Judith and didn't know their relationship. Someone with a new mindset, seeing the world from a different perspective, bringing variety and excitement into his life. 

Hoseok was afraid that it had been an attempt to replace the void, but the willingness to talk about himself increased with every passing hour he had spent with his smart, beautiful assistant.

_ He isn't a filler. He is someone you desire independent of your situation.  _

His situation was a mess. Understanding it exactly, he knew he hadn't been in the position to offer anything to Hyungwon, nothing besides his time and increasing affection, tainting his behaviour and thoughts.

_ You shouldn't like him like this, he needs the job and the one who'll suffer will be him too.  _

It was absolutely clear to him but his thoughts kept betraying him, hoping that the things Hyungwon wanted had been nothing more than youthful excitement and tension-based release. 

_ It's bullshit and you know it.  _

He knew, the way the beautiful eyes looked at him, so full of affection and admiration, touch of the long fingers highly emotional and somehow desperate. 

_ He likes you Hoseok and you're probably leading him on.  _

He had tried not to, whole situation ending up in a sex fest inside his office. 

_ You can't stay away from him. Forget it. You have to find a solution for this, use your brain.  _

The display of professionalism was not the problem per se, the problem had been his own emotional reaction to the interesting personality that added up to the unreal beauty of the young man. 

_ Why does he want you though? You're more than ten years older, the money can't be it. _

_ It's not about him wanting you, it's about you starting to want him.  _

_ Stop.  _

He couldn't. Going back to the car, strolling along the Seine and watching the lights throwing shadows on the golden skin of Hyungwon’s face, he had asked himself whether he was doing something wrong, something he shouldn't have been doing, but the blue eyes caught his gaze, mouth spreading in a bright smile and wiping every thought off his mind, leaving the desire to kiss the plump lips.

_ Maybe it's fine. He'll get to know you and then he'll leave by himself.  _

_ But she said you're addictive, she said she needed two years to decide to finally leave you although she knew she couldn't have stayed.  _

_ But it's no use in the end. She still left.  _

He was thirty five, his life didn't end only because a person he had loved for six years left him because of reasons he couldn't understand. 

_ Just make sure he knows what he's doing. _

Walking away from the car and running up the stairs, he felt euphoric just from the fact that the handsome blue-eyed man was going to stay over and spend the whole Saturday with him. 

_ Just make sure he knows what he's doing, Hoseok.  _

He pulled two tumblers out of the shelf, pouring the pink liquid inside and passing one to Hyungwon. 

“So after showering me with a beautiful view, amazing food, wine that costs more than my suit and finally shitloads of money you decided to get me drunk?” the younger man asked cheerfully, smile not disappearing since they entered the restaurant, taking pictures without a break and even asking Hoseok to help. The blue eyed man looked beautiful when he was genuinely happy.

Hyungwon threw himself on the couch with the tumbler and took a sip, legs crossing elegantly and arm lying on top of the backrest. “It was mind blowing, Hoseok. Thank you.” The voice changed a little, teasing undertone disappearing. 

Hoseok walked over, sitting down across from the handsome man.

“Are you overwhelmed? We can also eat sandwiches under the bridge, it's also fine with me.” 

Hyungwon laughed loudly, almost bending over and barely saving the gin glass from premature death. 

“Well the point was to experience new things. Been there, done that,” he commented and took another sip, showing Hoseok a thumbs up. 

“What do you intend on doing after you experienced all the new things?” Hoseok asked, leaning forward a little and twirling the liquid inside his tumbler, looking at the way it reflected the light through the beautifully curved glass.

Hyungwon pursed his lips, thinking and chewing on his cheek, blue eyes roaming over the objects in Hoseok’s living room, mainly focusing on the paintings on the walls. 

“I doubt that anybody can experience everything there is in one lifetime, but of course I don't have the intention to tie you down. You don't have to show me things until my death.” Hyungwon switched the cheek he chewed on, smelling the liquid in his glass. “Wait- that sounded weird. I just mean that I'm not expecting you to sacrifice your time for eternity. I'm not delusional.”

“You aren't? What's your illusion, tell me?” He narrowed his gaze, examining the body language which seemed more tensed than before, facial expression unsure. 

“I just told you that I'm not delusional. There is no illusion, Hoseok.” Hyungwon placed the tumbler on the small table and placed his other arm on the backrest as well, head leaning back and glancing at the white ceiling. The marks from the day before still covered his neck, easily visible without the scarf covering them.

“I want to know whether you know what you're doing, Hyungwon.” Hoseok slid his gaze over the slim and tall body, amazed by the intensity of the sexual attraction he had felt towards the younger man from the beginning.

“What do you mean? Throwing myself at you although we are supposed to be in a dependent relationship? Working together without ripping each other's clothes off?” Hyungwon sighed, lifting his head and staring at him, teeth digging into the plump lower lip. “I am aware of that, Hoseok.”

“I'll act as if you don't know what I'm talking about. We spent the evening together, we'll be spending the day together tomorrow, you're sitting on my couch still dressed, aren't you? Do you want to be my friend, Hyungwon?” A smirk appeared on his face, sarcasm painting every spoken word. Placing the tumbler against his lips, Hoseok took a sip, enjoying the taste before settling his gaze on Hyungwon’s face again. 

The shock at the words was only there for a short second, blue eyes widening before Hyungwon bit his lip and narrowed them instead, probably over compensating a little. The younger man let the long fingers of his right hand slide into the black strands of his hair, pushing them back slowly while keeping the eye contact, white shirt in contrast to the tight ripped pants but still emphasizing the slim waist, ribbon like a present around the shoulders and partially the neck. 

“No and I doubt that you want to be mine, Hoseok.”

“It's hard to be friends with me, my character is quite difficult.” He grinned and took another sip. “What do you want then?” 

“What you are giving me, Hoseok. I thought we talked about this already. You give me your time, that's what I want in addition to civilised behaviour at work instead of stuck up distance and overflowing dominance.” Hyungwon leaned forward to drink more of his gin, licking over his lips slowly afterwards, visibly focusing on the taste and enjoying it. 

_ He won't say it like that.  _

“Okay but is bullshitting a new trend among young people these days?” Hoseok commented and stood up, leaving his tumbler on the table before placing both hands on the headrest, pinning Hyungwon’s body between them. He leaned closer to the handsome face, examining every twitch of the facial muscles. “Do you like me, Hyungwon?” 

The younger man's facial expressions showed shock before his eyes narrowed, lips parting and teeth clenched, deep blue gaze not leaving his as the body tension increased.

“Everybody bullshits, Hoseok. Even you do,” Hyungwon replied and pursed his lips. “The possible consequences decide if someone bullshits or not.”

“Well tell me what I'm bullshitting about, smart boy.” He smiled, licking over his lips shortly. “I think about consequences, but I prefer not to say anything instead of bullshitting.” 

A small smirk appeared on the plump lips as Hyungwon relaxed against the backrest, obviously not as affected by Hoseok’s proximity anymore. 

“In Israel. You kept trying to hide your reaction to me, arguing with simple bodily sensations instead of the truth, only saying it when I let go and you were inside me.” The last words were whispered, hot air brushing over his lips as the beautiful blue eyed continued watching him. 

_ And there's the reason for being infatuated.  _

“I really like that smart brain of yours.” He licked over his lips once again. “So what do you think is the truth? Share your professional judgement with me, Chae Hyungwon.” 

Hesitation returned to the mesmerizing face as Hyungwon chewed his cheek, glancing to the side. Taking a deep breath the blue eyes returned and long fingers sank into Hoseok’s hair, intertwining with the strands and pulling him a little closer. 

“You're infatuated and can't help it, just like me, knowing that we shouldn't but somehow that knowledge isn't strong enough to defeat the perceptual and emotional intensity,” the younger man spoke against his lips, eyes a little wider and appearing impossibly deep, like one could have drowned in them. “You want me.”

_ He has a point.  _

Hoseok hummed against the plump lips, corners of his mouth lifting up, delighted by the other man's attempt to shift his attention. 

“I'm playing along, I'm the one who suggested the second deal and I'm the one who's hovering over you, so yes, I am infatuated and I also think about you a lot. But don't you think it's basic etiquette to answer questions?” 

It was fascinating how more colour appeared on the younger man's cheeks at the mention of Hoseok thinking about him, smile pulling at the corners but not winning against Hyungwon's self control. The blue eyes widened shortly at the realization that the attempt to switch focus hadn't been successful, lower lip immediately disappearing in the pretty mouth before the confidence returned. 

“I told you that the infatuation is mutual. Isn't that enough of an answer?” he asked and pulled a little more roughly at his hair, almost pushing Hoseok’s chest flush against his. 

“You remind me of a kid telling his mom he didn't eat the candy while having sugar all over his mouth.” Hoseok grinned and licked his lips, enjoying the proximity and the way the other man tried to avoid the topic religiously. 

The long leg that had been resting between his, fitting the position on the couch, lifted suddenly, stopping right before it would have hurt as Hyungwon lifted an eyebrow. 

“Yes, I fucking like you, Hoseok, so stop treating me like a damn child. I can be pretty vicious,” he hissed, eyes narrowed and thigh remaining lifted. 

_ Bingo.  _

He grabbed Hyungwon’s chin, lifting it up and staring into the blue orbs, expression a little angry, but it didn't matter. 

“Be viscous to your heart's content, you'll need more than that to impress me.” Hoseok leaned in, feeling the smooth, warm lips under his own, so incredibly delicious and intense, mixed with the lilac scent.

The slim body relaxed almost immediately, as if all the anger had dissipated into thin air, thigh slowly gliding back down against his own, sensation pleasant and fingers pulling him closer by the hair as the other hand stroked over his back.

“I like having you next to me,” he whispered between the kisses before letting himself fall next to Hyungwon, as if nothing happened. 

“And that means?” the younger man exclaimed, voice frustrated as he threw his head back and groaned, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

_ What does it mean? _

He reached for his glass, taking a long sip, and looking up to the ceiling. 

“The investment should always be clear, am I right? As you probably figured I'm in a strange situation because of my previous relationship which is still relatively often on my mind, not really ending because of the story with the shares. I can't be that person that throws everything out of the window and gives himself into something new.” He paused, taking another sip and sighing. “But, staying away from you doesn't work, I keep wanting to touch you and talk to you, making excuses and all the subconscious bullshit around it, so I guess you got me hooked a little.” A grin spread on his face as he closed his eyes.

Hoseok turned around, facing the younger man. 

“What would Mr. Chae suggest I do in such a situation?” 

His assistant stared at him, visibly surprised at such a genuine explanation of his feelings, staring at him with curiosity before Hoseok pushed the decision on him by asking for his opinion. 

“You don't have to throw yourself at me, Mr. Shin,” the younger man replied carefully. “I am perfectly satisfied with what you told me while being inside of me.” A smile spread over the plump lips and Hyungwon crawled up on the couch, both knees resting on top of it as he turned his body towards Hoseok and put his weight on his left arm, which was lying on top of the backrest. 

“So you're advising me to not throw myself at you? Fine then.” Hoseok took another sip leaning back fully and closing his eyes. 

There was immediate shifting and a hiss as he felt weight on top of his thighs and arms around his neck, Hyungwon's scent filing his nose with how close the younger man was. 

“I want you to, but I can't force you,” the beautiful man whispered, placing a kiss against his lips and resting his forehead against Hoseok’s, exhaling slowly. It resembled the desperation on Thursday, movements quick and yearning for contact without the teasing undertone. “You said that you will try to give yourself to me.”

“You're so intense. Sometimes you basically take my breath away with the way you act and react. It would be only fair if I could give myself.” His arms curled around the thin waist after leaving the drink on the table, basking in the perceptions, unwilling to think about whether he was able to give himself and whether it was something that Hyungwon really wanted. 

A gasp sounded as the hands tightened just like the slim thighs around his and the younger man pressed them flush against each other, sharp exhales caressing his face. 

“Please do,” the low voice murmured, desperation lacing every word the more time passed, fingers almost painful with the way they held onto Hoseok’s shoulders. “Please, please do, Hoseok.”

_ He has you in his palm like this.  _

Hoseok exhaled sharply, lips sliding along the delicate neck and pressing the lean body closer, tension boiling at his fingertips.

Hyungwon melted at the touch, firmly attaching himself and breathing irregularly. The other man’s heart beat was easily perceivable through the thin fabric, gasp leaving the plump lips at each touch to the golden skin. He pulled at the white ribbon on Hyungwon’s shirt, loosening it, before placing soft kisses along the uncovered collarbones. 

“It feels like unwrapping a present,” he commented, enjoying the sight of the naked, golden skin. 

A smile passed over Hyungwon's red lips and he pulled sharply at Hoseok’s hair, forcing him to move back as the younger man leaned forward, arms sliding along the muscular shoulders until their lips almost touched. 

“Unwrap me then.”

Grabbing the seam of the white shirt, Hoseok pulled it over the younger man's head, uncovering the toned upper body, immediately licking over the exposed skin, feeling how his own bodily reactions took over, mind moving to the back, hands and lips getting impatient. 

“You have no idea how much you make me want you.” 

Hyungwon moaned softly, long fingers continually pulling at Hoseok’s hair to lead him where he wanted him, exhales rough and affected. Licking over the plump lips the younger man curled his fingers around Hoseok’s jaw, lifting his head such that they were staring at each other. The blue eyes were gradually drowning in black, sight mesmerizing no matter how often Hoseok experienced it. 

Leaning even closer Hyungwon moaned against his lips, biting down on the bottom one. 

“So, will you make love to me after all?”

“Mhm.” Hoseok nodded while licking his lips and rolled his hips against Hyungwon’s lower body, lips parting at the friction. 

The younger man moaned again, this time louder and met the movement, thighs tensing around Hoseok’s as one hand slid down to pull the tight shirt off his muscular chest, plump lips attaching to his collarbone. Letting go of the pale skin the black-haired man leaned back, arms resting on Hoseok’s knees as a grin appeared on his face. 

“Gimme a minute then, Mister,” Hyungwon commented and winked at him, climbing off his lap and disappearing in the direction of the bathroom, motions smooth like a cat.

_ You want him. You can't stop wanting him, the excuses don't really work, do they? _

He leaned back and sucked in a breath, oxygen supply increasing and letting normal thoughts take over his mind slowly. 

He kept creating situations where it was necessary to spend time with the younger man, be it giving him projects that were complex such that he would need advice or asking questions, leading to a long discussion. 

_ Or sleep.  _

He let out a deep sigh, realization spreading inside his mind and affecting the ability to breathe. 

_ It's psychosomatic, Hoseok. You don't sleep so you have an excuse to have him next to you.  _

It was scary, analysing his own behaviour and pointing out the weaknesses he himself recognized. On the other hand it felt good knowing that Judith hadn't been as powerful as to affect his sleep.

_ It's him. He's that powerful.  _

Thinking about it, it was kind of pathetic to be impossibly infatuated with a hot, handsome twenty two year old. They had things in common but the age difference was more than ten years nevertheless. 

_ He'll get tired. But what happens before that? What do you want to do? Date him? _

He shook his head at the thought, ridiculousness obvious from the semantic formulation alone. He wasn't eighteen. Hoseok had a whole company to lead while being tied up by the woman who had left his side, trying to figure out how to continue. There was no place for a concept like dating.

_ But still you want him and he likes you.  _

“I thought you would have changed location,” Hyungwon’s low voice sounded from the direction of the door, beautiful golden body leaning against the door frame, absolutely naked. One leg was propped up against the wall and there was a smile on the younger man’s plump lips.

The sight wiped away the unpleasant thoughts in an instant and he stood up, walking over to the overwhelmingly attractive man. He moved slowly, not showing the desperation and desire to touch and get drunk on the golden skin. 

“I started thinking a little and forgot the time,” Hoseok commented, licking over his lips and sliding his gaze over the slim figure. The blue color in the younger man’s eyes immediately made way for the black pupils as soon as their gazes met, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and one corner of his mouth lifting in a grin.

“Thinking about what a bad idea all of this is?” he asked and pushed himself away from the door frame, stepping in front of Hoseok and smoothly sliding his long fingers over his muscular chest, delving into the waistband of his pants.”Want me to distract you?”

“No, thinking about how I still want you despite it all being a bad idea.” Hoseok curled his fingers around the delicate neck, raking through the black hair before grabbing it and pulling a little, creating more room to lick over the smooth skin of Hyungwon’s neck.

The beautiful man gasped, slim arms curling around Hoseok’s shoulders as he jumped up and narrowed the long legs around Hoseok’s hips, clashing their mouths together and moaning against his lips, blunt nails scratching along the line of his neck and over his shoulder blades, urgency obvious from the quick movements and the strength with which Hyungwon held onto him.

It was so incredibly intense again, the thin body pulled flush against his chest, firm ass pressed against his hips and addicting lips gasping and covering his skin in burning kisses. He curled his fingers around the lean thighs and walked over to the bedroom, kicking the door open and placing Hyungwon on the edge of the bed carefully. 

“Undress me.” Hoseok heard how his own low voice echoed in the huge room.

The large eyes lit up and a smirk passed over the plump lips as the black-haired man stroked over his abs, fingers digging into the little hollows of the lean muscles and finally stopping at the waistband of his pants, undoing the button and licking down from Hoseok’s navel as he lowered the zipper, mouth immediately attaching to each bit of uncovered skin. Not hesitating any further the pants were removed from his legs with both hands, quickly followed by the briefs, landing on the ground. 

The younger man brushed his index finger along the length of Hoseok’s erection, watching the action carefully with his eyes before he lapped at the tip with his tongue, circling the head and digging into the slit. The long fingers stroked over the sensitive skin in the meantime, touch never more than a light caress along the full length, tongue only adding up to the teasing sensation.

When the plump lips closed around the head and sucked harshly the blue-eyed man glanced up, watching Hoseok’s reaction.

He buried a hand inside the black hair, pulling at the silky strands, lips parted in a low moan at the way Hyungwon’s plump lips felt around him. Glancing down, he licked over his own slowly, mesmerized by the sight of his length disappearing inside the beautiful man's mouth. 

“Fuck, you look so good between my legs.”

Hyungwon smirked, still teasing him with soft licks over the head, hands abandoning the erection and caressing his hips and thighs instead, brushing along the pale skin.

“I love the way it makes your eyes look, absolutely black,” the younger man exhaled over his dick and smirked shortly before he slid most of the length into his mouth, sucking intently while keeping his tongue flattened. The hands remained in place, not helping out as Hyungwon let his mouth do the work, deepthroating Hoseok slowly while humming along, blue eyes focused on him, gaze breathtaking.

He couldn't help a low moan, pulling Hyungwon’s hair to make him stop. 

“I want you. Now,” he groaned, eyes already eating up every inch of uncovered skin, desire to see tiny drops of sweat appearing on it while he watched his erection disappear inside the delicious body growing with every second.

The beautiful black-haired man licked over his lips, pushing up on his arms and lying down further on the gigantic bed, black hair sprawled over the white pillow and eyes wide. Arranging the delicate hands above his head Hyungwon bent his legs at the knee and spread them slowly, each movement perfectly intentional.

“Go ahead then,” he whispered and threw his head back, baring the mesmerizing neck.

“The way you lie there makes me want to tie you up,” Hoseok whispered, rolling the condom over and squeezing lube onto his erection. “You're like a very rare and incredibly delicious candy, teasing me with its looks and begging me to taste it.” He lined up and leaned down, sinking his teeth into the warm skin and pressed his tip against Hyungwon’s entrance.

“Shit,” the younger cursed and bit his lip roughly, thighs shivering a little against Hoseok’s hips, body easily betraying the excitement and anticipation. The other man’s chest was rising and falling rapidly with each breath, pattern quickened and fingers curling into fists above the beautiful face. There was almost no blue color left in the big eyes, delirium and pleasure taking up all the space.

“Taste me.”

Hoseok exhaled roughly, biting down his lower lip and pushing himself in slowly, perceptions drowning in the almost black orbs staring at him from below. Sliding his tongue between the parted red lips, he moved further. 

“You're absolutely delicious,” he whispered. 

Hyungwon’s whole body tensed at the intrusion, thighs squeezing him and hips pushing further against his until the golden body finally relaxed and the beautiful man moaned loudly into Hoseok’s mouth, rolling his hips impatiently.

“Fuck, I love how you feel, Hoseok,” the plump lips murmured against his, eyes closed and basking in the sensations. “Give me everything.”

Propping himself up on one arm, Hoseok grabbed the hands lying over Hyungwon’s head in a tight grip, moving back and rolling his hips into the beautiful man under him, teeth and lips tasting the delicious skin. 

The scream that left the blood red mouth was overwhelming, lips parted and lungs attempting to suck in much needed air, unable to do so with the intensity of the pleasure that the younger felt, body convulsing whenever Hoseok hit the sensitive spot inside of him just right. The black hair rubbed over the pillow, large eyes focused on his face and remaining there, arousal and amazement fighting for dominance on the soft features. The slim wrists pulled lightly at the way Hoseok restrained them, but it was obvious that the younger man had no intention of freeing himself, moaning loudly and whispering curses in alteration with Hoseok’s name.

“Fuck yes, just like that, oh my god,” Hyungwon murmured in quick succession, interrupted by another scream as the younger man lifted his legs a little further to improve the angle and curled his spine at the intensity of the sensation. “You drive me fucking mad.”

The beautiful man under him was falling apart completely, not constraining himself and reacting to every touch, pleasure painting the golden skin in a light blush, spreading along the delicate neck and over the chest. “Play with me,” the low voice moaned, head thrown to the side and teeth settling on the plump lower lip. “Please, I- I can give you everything you want, Hoseok.”

Hoseok was going absolutely nuts, throwing the long legs over his shoulders and bending Hyungwon in half, eager to hear more of the screams and the beautiful pleas. He felt how drops of sweat collected on his temple, running down and falling on the golden body under him. The skin colour made Hyungwon seem even more precious.

“Then give it to me, give me everything I want,” he groaned biting into the calf on his shoulder, one hand still holding Hyungwon’s arms in an iron grip. 

The younger man's reactions were otherworldly, screaming loudly and pushing against each thrust, slim hips slamming into his and long fingers curling above the spot where Hoseok was holding his wrists.

“W-what do you want, Hoseok?” Hyungwon gasped, biting down on his lip painfully and crossing the long legs at the ankle, making sure the two of them remained mostly connected except for the space that Hoseok needed to thrust into him with force. “I'll give you everything- every fucking thing and more.” Hyungwon muttered while another loud moan left the plump lips in addition to the intense gaze focused on Hoseok’s face, eyes holding him easily, breath hitching. “I'll make you want no one else but me.”

Hoseok pulled out, loosening his grip on the other man’s arms and drawing Hyungwon into his embrace. He took the almost weightless body and pressed it against the wall next to his gigantic bed, mesmerized by the contrast the golden skin created on the white surface. Holding the man over his length, he pressed his chest against Hyungwon’s, faces mere centimetres apart, hot and fast breaths hitting his skin. Hyungwon was intense, more than intense, he wanted to see everything. 

  
“Tell me what you want me to do to you for being so so good to me?” Hoseok whispered against the parted lips. 

“Fuck me until I can't walk,” the younger man breathed into his face, nails purposefully sliding along his shoulders, leaving burning trails. “Make me come untouched again.”

_ Don't listen, he needs to walk, Hoseok.  _

“Hold onto me.” Hoseok moved away from the wall and grabbed the lean thighs in a firm grip, letting the beautiful body slide down his length in the process and placing both feet such that he had a good angle. Sex while standing had to be done right for it to become an amazing experience and Hoseok sure as fuck wanted Hyungwon to scream from pleasure. 

A gasp passed the plump lips as the body in his arms tensed, nails holding onto his shoulders painfully and thighs narrowing down around his hips. Nodding the beautiful man closed the distance and licked over Hoseok’s lips, exhaling against them, sensation cold due to the moisture. 

“Fuck my life, you're unreal, Hoseok,” he whispered, small shivers passing through the long legs due to the pressure and remaining arousal. Hyungwon really wanted him and it was difficult to overlook, bodily signs obvious and easily catching the eye.

“Ready?” Hoseok exhaled roughly, sucking in a long breath and fingers tensing around the firm muscles right after. He waited for the nod and started moving, picking up pace while paying attention to the angle, using his hands to roll Hyungwon’s lower body over his erection while basking in the way their bodies were so incredibly close to each other, sweat drops intertwining and creating an intoxicating mixture, something entirely unique and delicious.

“Oh- my- fucking- god.” The younger man screamed, sound echoing through the bedroom and accompanying the way their hips slapped against each other. The head was thrown back, black hair covering the back and shoulders, small marks on the neck exhilarating to look at. Mouth opened and chest moving rapidly Hyungwon didn't pay attention to his movements, scratching over Hoseok’s shoulders and arms repeatedly and continuously begging for him not to stop. 

Hoseok licked over the salty skin, sinking his teeth into the crook of Hyungwon’s neck, not able to hold back. It seemed as if the beautiful body was made for him, giving him every possible sensation so easily, accompanied by a mesmerizing mixture of submissive behaviour and the will to fight for every little thing. It was addictive. 

“You're like made for me,” he whispered, voice not enough to speak the words between the harsh exhales. “I really want to see your beautiful face, but I also want to bend you over my desk.”

The blue eyes met his, moans and screams still leaving the plump lips but the younger man was fighting to keep the contact, nails loosening a little as one hand sunk into Hoseok’s hair and raked through it. 

“If I'm made for you,” Hyungwon began, interrupted by a moan but still forcing himself to stare at Hoseok, surroundings fading out from the intensity with which the big eyes captivated him. “Be mine then.”

A louder, low scream erupted from the younger man's throat but he still fought, staring while shudders of pleasure moved through the body, traceable with Hoseok’s fingertips. 

“If you're mine you can do whatever you want.”

_ You're not hers anymore. You could try to be his, if that's what he wants.  _

“If it's enough for you, take it,” Hoseok whispered, overwhelmed by the emotionality of the situation, eyes piercing through him, dark, almost black, eating up his resources and manifesting the connection that seemed to get stronger every second.

His answer began a chain of reactions as Hyungwon let go and threw his head back, hand remaining in Hoseok’s hair and pulling at it painfully, slim body convulsing under his ministrations. 

“Then bend me over the fucking desk, Hoseok. I will take it all,” the younger man moaned and leaned forward to suck on his earlobe, hot breath hitting his ear. He immediately went for the plump lips, sucking and nibbling, parting them with his tongue and breathing hot air over them. Moving towards the desk, he wiped the surface clean and pulled out, turning Hyungwon and bending him over the dark brown wood, his own body leaning in too, soft whispers leaving his lips. 

“I don't want you to take it, I want you to like it.” He lubed up more, before leaning down and licking over the younger man's entrance and placing kisses around the cheeks.

“You idiot,” Hyungwon gasped, words much less insulting with the way he moaned against his own arms, holding onto the desk firmly. “I meant that I'll take everything you're willing to give. It'll be mine.”

“You're talking a lot for someone who's bent over a desk, I think I'm doing something wrong.” Hoseok grinned and stood up, pushing himself in while holding the hips in place. 

It was clear that the beautiful man had wanted to say something in reply but wasn't able to, moaning at the sensation instead, plump lips quickly closing around the skin of his right wrist. It was probably meant as revenge, to not bless Hoseok with the arousing sounds he made. 

_ Game on.  _

Hoseok moved until there was no space, skin touching and length completely filling out the mesmerizing body. Staying in place he let a hand roam over the smooth back, tracing the sweat drops one after the other, not gracing the other man with movement, occasional twitches being the only thing he had enough mercy for. 

“I love the way you react and you just muffled it. You told me I'd get everything I want.”

He could still tell that the beautiful man moaned, even if he attempted to hide it, whimper perceivable through closed lips. The slim hips pushed against him, attempting to move desperately without giving up immediately. 

“You still have to earn it,” Hyungwon hissed, quickly to not react immediately, following whimper covered up and only barely audible.

Hoseok would have lied if he said that he didn't like it. He loved every second of it, especially knowing that the other could switch to begging in an instant. 

“I should totally punish you for being bratty, but I guess I'll do it next time.” His voice sounded low and dominant when he moved back and thrust into the slim body, trying to fit the angle and to hear more of the addicting screams. 

Hyungwon must have been waiting for that, body visibly reacting to the tone of his voice and the promising words. Groaning loudly the young man scratched over the wooden surface instead of covering up his sounds, small smile gracing the juicy lips, probably feeling triumphant because Hoseok was giving him what he wanted.    
  
During one of the very well coordinated thrusts, Hoseok sank his hand into the black hair, pulling harshly and sinking his teeth into the bared neck, licking over the salty skin and moaning loudly. The other man felt outworldly, sensitive perception overflowing and only fueled by the arousing behaviour Hyungwon was showing so naturally.

The younger man must have adored the rough treatment, screaming at the sharp pain in his neck and the pleasure coursing through his slim body. The long fingers repeatedly scraped over the surface below him, single objects that hadn’t been thrown off when Hoseok had wiped the desk rolled down and created a short succession of sounds, diffusing into the melody of moans and sharp inhales. The previous brattiness cracked in a matter of seconds as Hyungwon suddenly began begging again, asking him not to stop and repeating desperately how fucking close he was, body burning and desiring nothing but him.

Hoseok couldn't suppress the wish to see the beautiful face, pulling out and turning Hyungwon around like a doll, slim body almost weightless to lift. Licking over the plump lips he slid in once again, throwing the long legs over his shoulders and slamming his hips into the addicting body. The facial expressions were intense, golden skin covered by drops of sweat, rolling down the temples, eyes almost black, sparkling and so attractive combined with the red parted lips that were begging him for release. He licked over his fingers, curling them around the twitching erection, and stroked Hyungwon throughout each thrust. It was getting incredibly hard to hold back his own release but he tried nevertheless, changing his breathing pattern and waiting for the young man to orgasm. 

The slim thighs tensed, calves on top of his shoulders pushing down as Hyungwon screamed and hit his head against the desk, black hair sprawled out over the wooden surface and mouth opened. Releasing between them the large eyes were shut in pleasure, whispers of Hoseok’s name still leaving the plump lips as fingers began stroking along his hips, sliding into the minimal space between their bodies as if he couldn’t believe that they were that close.

“Oh my god,” Hyungwon murmured and clasped his hands around the edge of the desk, using it for leverage and moving himself back just to push forward again, hinting at Hoseok to seek his own pleasure. “I want to see you come.”

He exhaled air that was stuck inside his lungs, picking up pace and grabbed the slim hips with both hands, basically pulling the body over his erection and orgasming finally with a loud moan, not loosening the hold. It felt absolutely intense, rough pants mixed with sweat basically falling down from his chin, landing on the golden skin below him. 

“This is simply sick.” 

The younger man was watching him, upper body propped up on the elbows and lips parted. The oversensitivity was clear from the way the plump lower lip trembled, suppressed by white teeth nibbling on it. The gaze was fierce but harbored something emotional at the same time, blue color conquering the large eyes again. Exhaling slowly Hyungwon shifted his hips, dick twitching shortly at the motion although he was supposed to be spent.

“It’s not. It’s fucking perfect.”

A smile appeared on his features as he watched the beautiful man below him. 

“You are,” Hoseok commented, leaning in and placing a kiss on the red, swollen lips. “Wanna shower?”

“If you don't mind me possibly jumping you again,” the younger man said with a laugh. “I’m young and healthy after all.” The long legs lifted up from Hoseok’s shoulders, eyebrow rising as the beautiful man remained partially bent in half. 

“Nothing can surprise me.” He pulled out, getting rid of the condom and wiping Hyungwon’s stomach clean before leaning over the thin body and lifting it up, carrying the other man into the bathroom. 

Hyungwon giggled, holding on tightly and curling his legs around Hoseok’s hips properly. Placing a kiss to the muscular chest the younger man suddenly looked up and frowned. 

“I feel like a fucking princess,” he murmured and slapped the pale shoulder. 

Hoseok tightened his grip on the firm thighs, pinching the sweaty skin in the process. 

“Why? Am I only allowed to do this when I'm balls deep inside you while you beg?” He grinned at the handsome man. 

The frown remained as the blue eyes narrowed and Hyungwon's lips spread in a smirk. 

“So you are going to feed me exotic fruit while I relax and wait for my nails to dry, babe?” he asked and performed a fabulous movement with his hand, bending it smoothly at the wrist and one leg stretched out. 

_ This fucking tease.  _

He stopped in front of the bed, lips curling in a smirk while raising an eyebrow and dropped the long body on the sheets before turning around and walking towards the bathroom as if nothing happened. 

He felt how a pillow hit his head with force before slim arms circled his neck and Hyungwon jumped on his back, holding on tight by curling the legs around his hips. 

Biting into his shoulder Hyungwon grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled it back such that the plump lips were right above his ear. 

“Don't pretend like you don't want to spoil me rotten, Mister.”

_ Thank you, Taekwondo.  _

Hoseok almost fell over, not expecting the movement, but grabbing the thighs immediately, feeling how the warm, naked body pressed against his back. 

“Damn, I really want to tie you up,” he groaned in reply.

The younger man's breath hitched but he didn't answer, merely resuming the previous abuse of Hoseok’s neck, nibbling along it and most definitely leaving marks. 

“Now you can have fun hiding,” Hyungwon whispered and bit into the skin in the crook of his neck. 

“Watch me not giving a single fuck, bothered boy.” Hoseok reached behind himself and pinched Hyungwon’s upper thigh. He hissed a breath at the feeling of Hyungwon’s crotch pressing against his lower back in addition to the abuse of his neck. “You're so fucking hot, holy fuck.”

_ He probably meant it, saying that he will make you want him so much that you won't be able to do anything about it.  _

“Thanks, Mister,” Hyungwon said and Hoseok could feel the grin against his skin, teasing undertone returning full force. “So are you.”

The plump lips felt hot against his neck, goosebumps spreading over his skin from the way the long fingers stroked along his scalp, pulling at his hair lightly. 

_ This is crazy.  _

“I'm crazy.”   
  


*** 

It felt unusual to wake up and perceive how euphoria coursed through his body, tingling sensation remaining in his fingertips as warmth spread in his chest at the sight of the older man peacefully sleeping, sunlight playing on the pale skin and turning it even more ethereal than it already was. 

Hyungwon hadn't been fully attached this time, interestingly he had slept with his back to the muscular man while the strong arms were curled around his waist pressinghim close, even in his sleep. 

Both of them were naked, courtesy of Hyungwon riling Hoseok up until the other had merely held him in an iron grip and didn't allow him to leave, talking until both of them fell asleep. 

_ What is this even? Is he yours, Hyungwon?  _

The attractive and impossibly intelligent black-haired man had offered himself, but there had been no conclusion in the end, nothing that Hyungwon would have been able to act on, mouths merely fuelled by pleasure and lack of inhibition. 

_ It doesn't have to mean anything. _

Biting his lip, the older man's half hard erection pressed against his naked ass, Hyungwon contemplated what he had gotten himself into, complexity only increasing instead of dissolving.

Lying naked in bed with another man always brought about those thoughts, worries about what he was actually doing, if the pleasure had any meaning, if there was a point in continuing and desiring more than he already had. It was the reason for Hyungwon disliking walks of shame, always leaving right after the action to not make the situation unnecessarily complex.

_ Just that you want way more than sex from him. _

_ You want everything.  _

It was already fucking complex. He was being back hugged by his boss, huge half-hard dick warm against his lower back and wishing for an actual relationship. A relationship with someone who had told him he couldn’t throw himself into something just like that. Someone who is still affected by his previous relationship and can’t fucking sleep because of it.

_ How the hell did you get yourself into this? _

It was simple, really. He had felt sexually attracted to his boss, jumped him because he tended to get what he wanted and eventually fell for the intelligence and depth of character, mystery only adding up to the desire to know everything about the older man. Whether the mystery was built up on a previously failed relationship had been absolutely irrelevant to his actions. Hyungwon really wanted him and if there was even a tiny chance that Hoseok wanted him too, then he was going to claw at it and make the older man his. 

He always got what he wanted and he wasn’t going to stop now.

_ You have to make him want no one else but you. _

Chewing on his cheek in concentration Hyungwon shifted on the bed, turning around in the older man's arms and sliding down such that he easily slipped out of the embrace. Hoseok turned a little, continuing to sleep on his back and lips parted beautifully. 

_ Commençons le spectacle.  _

Smiling he stretched out his right hand towards the older man's groin, stroking along the shaft carefully so that Hoseok wouldn't wake up, kneeling on the bed next to him and watching the facial expressions. The erection twitched faster than the other man’s facial muscles, head turning to the side a little, but still remaining asleep. It was beautiful and so much more sincere than usual. It felt like Hoseok was at his mercy.

_ Perfect.  _

Hyungwon couldn’t help the soft exhale, loving the fact that he could make the gorgeous man react just like that, face and body betraying reactions that were usually suppressed. 

Licking over his index finger shortly he rubbed over the tip, adoring how different the foreskin looked, a little darker and silky to the touch. His index finger dug into the slit carefully as the rest of his hand stroked along the length, getting the older man to full hardness.   
  
The lips parted, releasing air accompanied by a silent moan, hips shifting and eye movements visible behind the closed eyelids.

Hoseok must have been integrating the careful strokes into his dreams, sleep phase changing making it easier to wake the beautiful man up. Crawling closer Hyungwon positioned his slim thighs on each side of the muscular body, making sure not to touch him too much. Inhaling sharply he reached for the bedside table, preparing a condom and some lube. There was no way that he was taking Hoseok without lube. His lower body already burned a little from the past few days, but the discomfort would be forgotten as soon as he sat down properly.

Rolling on the condom was more tricky though, all of his resources required to not wake the gorgeous man up, gradually rolling the latex ring down with his fingertips, impossibly slow. Once he was finished he resumed the strokes, progressively adding lube and drawing circles on the tip.

_ Et maintenant la surprise. _

He used some of the lube for himself to not struggle with the older man's size and lined up, holding onto the firm erection carefully to make sure that the dark eyes only met his when he was fully seated. He wanted to see the wonder on Hoseok’s beautiful features, mesmerized by how attractive and mind-blowing Hyungwon was.

Breaching himself he gasped, unable to help it and slid down slowly, less carefully and watched the beautiful face intently, black hair in such contrast to the pale skin. It was like porcelaine, impossibly beautiful and so sensitive to touch. The slight pain was only short lived as the older man’s erection filled him out completely, almost paralyzing with the way his slim body turned rigid.   
  


_ Make him want you.  _

  
Dark eyes opened fast like a bolt, strong hands grabbing his hips immediately, rough exhale leaving the parted lips at the same time, Hoseok’s upper body lifting up a little from the sensation. The stare was intense and accompanied by repeated exhales before the beautiful man licked over his lips and the unusually low voice sounded through the room.   
  
“What are you doing?” 

Hyungwon lifted up and rolled his hips on the way down, adding force and moaning at the sensation, biting his lip painfully to not appear too affected, loving the way Hoseok felt inside of him. 

“What does it look like?” he asked back and repeated the whole motion, purposefully emphasizing his body while he did so, lips parted and pleasure tingling in his groin. If there was something that Hyungwon was good at, it was looking hot while riding dick. He wanted Hoseok to fucking melt at the sight and never want anybody else again.

_ You’ll just have to make him forget her. You can. _   
  
A low moan left the parted lips, hips thrusting up almost automatically while Hoseok stared at him, eyes wide open and almost black in colour.    
  
“I’m not sure whether I went completely nuts, or if it’s you.” 

Hyungwon smirked, contracting around the thick erection inside of him and speeding up, making sure not to moan too loudly, wanting to hear Hoseok instead. 

“It's me,” he answered and scratched over the defined abs as his hips slammed downwards, thighs touching with a loud noise. “I drive you nuts.”   
  
Hoseok’s hands tightened around his ass and the other man simply lifted him up, staring right into his eyes while dropping him, moaning right into his face. 

_ Fuck. _

Hyungwon screamed, thrust hitting dead on and almost turning his vision white, head thrown back in ecstasy and thighs shivering. 

“Shit, again. Do it again,” he murmured before he could stop himself, eyes meeting the dark ones and wanting to drown in them, let go and be overwhelmed with sensations and affection. He wanted it all.    
  
The older man complied immediately, repeating the motion, but more roughly and meeting his body in a thrust, low moans filling the acoustic space, blush slowly spreading over the pale skin.   
  
“How much more intense can this get? Fuck, Hyungwon,” Hoseok muttered, teeth sinking down on the curved lip.

_ You just got started. _

“Fuck me, Hoseok, come on. Do that fucking thing you do that burns me to the ground, shit.” Hyungwon's self control was throwing itself off the Eiffel tower. He was melting because of the way Hoseok reacted to him and he wanted more, Hoseok’s eyes eating him up as his hips thrust inside him with force. “I told you to make sure I fucking feel it when I walk.”   
  
The other man lifted him up and crawled from the bed before walking over to the wardrobe and obviously searching for something. Hyungwon wanted to slap him for leaving him there like this, arousal almost painful.    
  
“You’re nuts, I shouldn’t listen to you,” Hoseok elaborated while fumbling with something. Turning around finally, the muscular man stretched out both hands, presenting him with a blue ribbon in the one and metallic handcuffs in the other, smirk spreading on the handsome face. “I bet if I ask you, you’d pick the handcuffs, because you’re crazy,” the other man commented before throwing the metal back into the wardrobe and walking back.

Hyungwon would have chosen the ribbon, but if being crazy made the black-haired man smirk like that it would be the handcuffs every fucking day.

_ Be special, make him want you. _   
  
“Lie down on your back, hands up,” Hoseok ordered, eyes almost black.

_ Holy fucking shit.  _

Hyungwon bit his lip, genuinely shocked at the fact that Hoseok hadn't been kidding about tying him up, actually intending to take his freedom just like that. A shudder passed through his limbs and he gasped. He wasn't sure how much of it was fear and how much excitement.    


_ You never let people tie you up. _

_ But he wants you.  _

Licking over his lips he let himself fall to the mattress, arms placed beautifully above his head and wrists curled, eyes purposefully widened and teeth nibbling on his lower lip. His smooth golden skin was perfectly on display, appearing particularly mesmerizing in the daylight. Knowing the effect he spread his legs slowly, one bent at the knee while the other remained stretched out, emphasizing how tall he actually was. The sunlight reflected off the skin around his tattoo perfectly.   
  
Hoseok smirked at the sight, apparently seeing through his action but still playing along. The black-haired man crawled on the bed on top of him, kissing and biting along his thighs, licking over the tip of his erection and nibbling on the tattooed skin of his hip. 

He moaned, loving the attention and basking in each second of it, hips lifting off the mattress unintentionally and teeth abusing his lips without a break, feeling the blood rush through his ears and face, blush spreading along his chest and partially his thighs. It wasn’t calculated at all and he couldn’t give a shit that it wasn’t, basking in the fact that the beautiful older man wanted to make him feel this way.   
  
Hoseok took his wrists carefully, stroking over the skin slowly and placing tender kisses along it before tying the ribbon around them in a tight knot, not uncomfortable, but firm enough to restrict movement. Something about the action was impossibly erotic, even more so than when Hyungwon rode the older man.    
  
“The ribbon looks so pretty on you, I can’t wait to hear your screams.” 

The expression on the now blushed face was mesmerizing, eagerness that usually didn't enter the features tainting all of them, sending sparks of pleasure right to his groin. 

“Look at me just like that and I might let you do it more often,” Hyungwon said with a smirk and pulled at the ribbon, testing it out. It felt a little strange to be unable to touch the gorgeous muscular body, but at the same time the knowledge that Hoseok was able to fuck him up and drive him mad was exciting.

_ You’re at his mercy. _   
  
“You might beg for it after I’m done with you.” Hoseok put Hyungwon’s legs over his muscular shoulders, lubing up and pushing himself in, lifting the slim hips in the air with both hands. 

Hyungwon's eyes widened unintentionally and he gasped, fullness returning in all its glory and resuming the burning sensation he had been yearning for. Biting his lips painfully he forced himself to focus and stare at the older man, loving the effect being inside of him had on the black-haired man. 

“Actions speak louder than words, Mister.”   
  
The older man ignored him, busy lifting his hips and placing them over one thigh, leaning over and bending him in half. The muscular body stayed hovering over him for a couple of seconds before Hoseok pulled out almost completely, slamming his hips into him, v-line prominent and covered in veins. It was so fucking attractive and Hyungwon would have loved to imprint it into his mind, had the angle not been the reincarnation of heaven, eyes closing immediately.

Screaming he attempted to hold onto something just to realize that he couldn't really, hands tied together and barely able to grasp anything. The strong arms and body were keeping him in place, deciding the force of the thrusts. Hyungwon loved every fucking second of it, feeling of being at the older man's mercy giving him an adrenaline kick in addition to the arousal rushing through him. 

“Shit, Hoseok,” he gasped, eyes opening wide to see how the older man's erection disappeared inside of him before shutting them again, moans impossibly loud. “Fuck me up.”

“How flexible are you, Hyungwon?” Black eyes settled on his face suddenly, loud pants leaving the parted lips. Not waiting for an answer Hoseok bent him over such that his ass was basically in the air, observing his facial expressions intently. “Is it okay?” 

Hyungwon merely nodded furiously, moaning at the look on the older man's face. There was light burning in his thighs, but it was less due to the actual stretch and their previous encounters than the fact that he wanted Hoseok to fill him up again. Shit, he wanted him so much, more than just his body.

_ You want everything. Everything he has to give.  _ __  
__  
The black-haired man nodded and lifted himself up, filling Hyungwon’s body once again and picking up pace, hitting dead on each time thanks to the angle, moaning and intertwining one of the pale hands with his tied up ones.

Suddenly it felt impossibly intimate, warmth in his chest adding up to the burning pleasure that soared through him, taking his breath away and sending sparks through his limbs. It felt fucking amazing, better than anything Hyungwon had experienced before, pleasure reaching new highs and building up in a matter of seconds with the emotionality attached to it.

_ This isn’t just sex anymore. _

“Oh my fucking god, Hoseok. I'm fucking yours, shit. Don't stop,” he murmured, unable to trace what he was saying with the way the pleasure clouded his mind. “Fuck, I want all of you, so fucking much. I can't get enough.” A loud scream left his lips as his hips shivered visibly, almost convulsing at the way it felt. “Please, keep showing me what real pleasure is, Hoseok.”   
  
The expression on the pale face was slightly different this time, the strain from the movements mixed with widened eyes and parted lips, looking at him in awe.    
  
“You’re fucking gorgeous, I just can’t seem to get enough of you.” 

Hyungwon bit his lip, emotions hitting him out of nowhere, eyes unable to look away and lungs blocked by the pressure that appeared in his chest. 

“Be mine,” he whispered, lips opening on another moan, wishing for a positive answer, to make the older man his. His fingernails dug painfully into his palms, sensation still not enough to distract him. There was nothing else Hyungwon desired. He would have done everything just to be able to call Hoseok his. 

_ You're in love. Completely gone.  _

He gasped, burning intensifying and pouring all of his attention into the body above him, answer suddenly so much more meaningful than it was before, fear of rejection mixing in, intensifying the bodily pleasure only further. He had to hold on. 

_ But you can't, you're tied up. _ __  
__  
The muscular arms loosened the grip on his hips, letting one leg slide down the broad shoulders and leaning in until their faces were only a couple of centimeters apart. Sweat dropped down on his neck after rolling down Hoseok’s pale chin. Moist lips pressed against his repeatedly, tongue sliding over the outline of his lips and he caught the whisper against his mouth.    
  
“I’ll try, Hyungwon.” 

The sudden urge to cry passed through him, emotions spilling over and forcing their way through his composure. He swallowed, overwhelmed by the proximity and affection Hoseok gifted him with. He wanted to curl his arms around the other man so badly, stroke through the black hair, express himself somehow without crying like a baby. 

He kissed back with force, distracting himself and wanting to show the older man how much he loved the answer without using his hands, keeping them above his head, tied up. He wanted to say how much he loved him, scream it in his face and hear it in return. 

_ Don't.  _   
  
A small smile passed over the soft features as Hoseok reached up and untied the ribbon with one smooth movement, picking up pace right after.

His surroundings blurred, pleasure spiking up and arms finally curling around the beautiful man's neck, kissing him without a break, licking into the delicious mouth and holding on desperately. 

“Please, Hoseok. Please don't take it back later,” he murmured against the curved mouth, fingers intertwining with the black strands of hair.    
  
“I won’t, and now come for me,” the low voice whispered while he felt how fingers curled around his erection, movements perfectly coordinated as always. 

Only a few strokes were necessary to tighten the coil almost painfully, body tensing and finally releasing between their bodies, euphoria mixing into the perceptions. It was sweet relief, orgasm not only draining his energy and lifting the numbing arousal but also calming his emotions. The desire to hold Hoseok close and not let go was the only one remaining.

Hyungwon struggled to keep his body functioning, muscles screaming at him to get them out of the tense position, pain spreading through his thighs as if it had only waited for him to come to finally make itself known. He bit his lip, unwilling to succumb to discomfort and pulled Hoseok closer, trying to motivate him to finish himself, sucking at the older man's lower lip. 

Hoseok put his legs down, settling between them and rolling his hips, low, sensual moans caressing his ears, blushed cheeks and red, parted lips complimented by the raven black hair hanging into the dark eyes. The intense gaze rested on his face throughout the thrusts until Hyungwon was able to see every muscle tense under the porcelain like skin, Hoseok pushing himself inside him until there was no space between them before basically collapsing on top of his body.

It was heavy but Hyungwon couldn't give a single shit, euphoria returning at the possibility of seeing Hoseok like that, vulnerable, affected and only looking at him. 

_ You really love him, Hyungwon.  _

_ Shit. _

“Ehm,” he began and stroked over Hoseok’s hair, suddenly worried about the situation and how it was meant to develop. “What happens now?”

_ How the hell are you supposed to get him and make him stay? _

It suddenly got lighter, breathing volume increasing and handsome face appearing in his sight. 

“I'll shower, you can shower too. I kind of need at least two coffees and then I intended to add up on the rich, old dude image, taking you to a gallery of a friend of mine, eat at the Monmartre and let you drive me around in the cabrio you didn't know I owned.” A beautiful smile accompanied the words while the dark eyes jumped along his facial features. 

_ He must like you at least a little. He is willing to do so fucking much. That can't be sexual attraction.  _

Hyungwon curled his long fingers around Hoseok’s wrist, a little panicked at the black-haired man standing up and going somewhere. It was really dumb and childish, but he couldn't help it, keeping their naked bodies as close as possible. 

In order to hide his actual emotions Hyungwon quickly smirked at the words, but kept the connection between them. 

“I told you that you love spoiling me,” he commented and lifted his eyebrow, teasing the other again.

“Actually I really enjoyed the last time we went out, it was fun and I had interesting input from our conversations. If expensive food gets you spoiled, sure, but we won't eat expensive. Actually it's a place with a really old barista and his wife cooks. It's the best.” The other man elaborated while reaching for the tissues. “You must be uncomfortable, let me clean it up.”

Hyungwon hissed, unable to reply with anything and hating Hoseok for grabbing his fucking heart in his muscular fist and squeezing it with almost every word that left the curved lips. It was unfair, infatuation only growing with each second that they spent together.

“I'm happy when I'm with you,” he murmured, warmth spreading in his chest again and breath hitching at the outburst of affection. “Did you mean what you said, Hoseok?”

_ You’re constantly begging for confirmation. Be an adult for fuck’s sake. _

“What exactly?” the older man asked, wiping his stomach clean and pulling out, removing excess lube from his thighs. “But I normally don't bullshit, I told you, I might not say things, but if I say something it is usually genuine.”

_ He'll try to be yours.  _

No words left his lips as he nodded, wincing a little at how sore he felt, strain in his thighs only adding to the burn. Hoseok was caring, actions tender but somehow also too much. 

_ You want it all but he'll only try. There is no guarantee.  _

“Okay I'll shower, if you need you can come in, I won't lock up.” The handsome, muscular man stood up and disappeared behind the wooden door. 

Hyungwon remained lying on the bed, chewing his cheek and contemplating how starting work life had resulted in him falling for his boss.

_ You're an idiot. You threw yourself into this and you don't even know what you will get in return.  _

Suddenly Hyungwon chuckled, brushing the still unusually dark hair out of his eyes, sweaty from the straining sex. The situation was ironic somehow, like in a movie. He had promoted himself with not being tied to anything in Paris, easily leaving the country. All of that just to fall in love and tie himself up with the company and the possibility to see the older man. Even if he had wanted to leave the company now he probably wouldn't, just because he valued the interactions with Hoseok to an impossibly high degree. 

_ What happened with your confidence? What makes you think that you can't get him? _

Hyungwon inhaled deeply and pushed his body up with the help of his arms, wincing a little at the discomfort. He hadn't been very good at self preservation recently. 

_ You already got this far, he's willing to try for you.  _

Brushing through his hair again he smiled. So what if he was in love with his boss? At least part of the infatuation appeared mutual and if Hyungwon needed to add more effort to make sure that Hoseok forgot about his previous lover then he was simply going to do that. La fin.

_ He reacts to you and you can drive him mad. Just don't stop. _

Taking another glance at his body Hyungwon frowned, dissatisfied with the possibility that he might end up smelling like cum. Climbing off the bed he collected some of the clothes they had thrown around and arranged them on the bed, bringing a little bit of organization back into the whole thing, using it to continue his thoughts. 

He would have loved to live in a gigantic apartment like that. It was prestigious but some areas appeared impersonal. Apart from the paintings on the wall Hyungwon hadn't seen even one photo, not even of Hoseok. 

Ringing suddenly sounded from the accurately folded pile of clotting on the bed, ringtone a default Samsung had on their devices. 

_ That's rather tasteless.  _

Hyungwon rolled his eyes at the shitty sound and attempted to think of anybody else who used the default except for his parents. Identifying the source of the noise he found the older man's mobile phone in one of the pockets and glanced at the display. It was just a collection of numbers, no caller ID, so he contemplated for a few seconds how important it could be. Most of the calls on Hoseok’s mobile had always been important, sometimes last minute appointment changes and meetings, even on weekends. 

Sighing he pressed the accept button and held the device to his ear, ignoring the fact that he was standing naked in his boss’s apartment and accepting his calls. 

“Is not talking to me really worth 700k? Didn't know that I was that precious.” A rather low and sensual female voice sounded through the speaker as the woman finished the sentence with a chuckle. 

_ It's Judith. _

Hyungwon bit his lip painfully, keeping himself from immediately saying something in response. He was in no way officially affiliated with Hoseok and had no justification to send her to hell. In addition he probably couldn't pull off sounding like the older man. 

_ Be professional.  _

“I fear that I am not Shin Hoseok,” he replied calmly, voice stable and body leaning against the bedroom wall, attempting to remain comfortable. It would have been easier to act professional if he had been wearing a suit instead of absolutely nothing, psychological trick failing due to the situation. “May I ask who's speaking?”

“Oh, you don't sound like someone from the company, are you new? His new assistant? My name is Judith, which will be absolutely sufficient for Hoseok to know exactly who called. Actually it's good he didn't pick up himself, please tell him a couple of things from me. First he should come talk to me, second he should know exactly that money is not what I want and third if he tries to change his phone number I'm going to come to his office. Thank you. I like your voice, good that he got a man, I hate squealing.” The woman chuckled again. “What's your name?” 

Hyungwon froze, an action that was luckily not transmitted over the telephone and calmed himself for approximately three seconds before replying. He hadn't expected Hoseok’s ex-girlfriend to simply talk to him like that, even requesting a message to be brought across. He disliked her but there was nothing in her behaviour to evoke that, most likely just his infatuation with Hoseok and the fact that this woman made the beautiful man's life hell. 

“It's a pleasure to talk to you, Judith. I am indeed Hoseok’s new assistant and my name is Chae Hyungwon. However, are you sure that me passing on the message will have any effect? He doesn't seem too fond of talking to you, unfortunately,” Hyungwon replied and played with a black strand of his hair, pulling all the politeness he could muster from his fingertips. 

_ If you don't like someone you just have to be especially nice to lull them into a false sense of security.  _

“Hi Hyungwon, actually you're right, it seems so ingenuine to forward things like that. Tell him I'll come over on Sunday at 12. He better be there.” The last part sounded a little scary. “It was nice talking to you Hyungwon, see you around.” 

_ Fuck. _

Placing the phone back into the pocket after saying friendly goodbyes Hyungwon genuinely felt like he had fucked up. 

_ She's coming over because of you.  _

Hoseok was going to choke him for having to deal with the woman that he had apparently spent effort, time and partially money to avoid.

_ Maybe they'll finally settle it and he'll be yours. _

Breathing in deeply and preparing himself for an uncomfortable conversation he walked to the bathroom, hearing how the warm water still hit the walls and floor. Not hesitating for long he opened the door and entered the shower cabin, mustering Hoseok’s body with interest because he couldn't help it anyway. The older man was simply gorgeous, muscular and everything Hyungwon enjoyed in men topped with the depth of intellect. 

“Did you also decide to shower,” Hoseok commented and curled his warm arms around his waist, pressing him closer. It was nice and intimate, exactly what he had hoped for. 

But Hyungwon never beat around the bush. 

“I've got bad news though,” he murmured against the wet shoulder, catching a drop of water with his tongue to see how the next one appeared, water reflecting a little. 

“Mhm? You finally got tired of me and want to go back to the exciting life of a 22 year old?” Hoseok kissed his forehead. 

_ Hell no.  _

He frowned at the fact that Hoseok actually expected that to happen, naively believing that his life before was more exciting than whatever was between them. He looked up to see the calm features on the attractive face. 

“No, Judith called.”

The expressions were wiped from the handsome face in a split second, gaze hardening and lips pulled into a line. 

“You talked to her?” 

Hyungwon nodded, wanting to just jump the older man so the tensed expression disappeared from his face. Whatever Judith had done, it had taken its toll on Hoseok. 

“What did she say?” The words were fast and without any emotion, just the simple mechanics of pronouncing syllables. 

Hyungwon curled his arms around the older man's neck and raked through the wet hair with his fingers, hoping that he could make it better somehow. 

“A lot of things, but the conclusion was that she'll come over tomorrow, at 12 and that she wants you to be there,” he said, voice strangely quiet, probably worried about Hoseok and his reaction to the fact he had to see his ex. Unable to resist he placed a kiss against the curved mouth before parting again. 

Hoseok just stared into nothing, no detectable facial expression and no muscle tension, arms falling loosely against his hips. Water flowing down was the only sound in the cabin. 

“Wanna hang out with me instead?” Hyungwon whispered against his lips, suddenly desperate about the lack of reaction and the fact that it was his fault. He shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, hanging up quickly or agreeing to deliver the message without actually doing it.

He grasped Hoseok’s face with both of his palms and pressed their lips together, not waiting for an answer and licking into the older man's mouth instead, wishing to distract him with affection. 

_ You can give him more than she can.  _

The other man barely reacted, kissing back but missing the vigour or desperation that had been there before. Leaning back the black eyes focused on his shortly. 

“I'll make coffee while you're showering,” the low voice commented and Hoseok stepped out, tying a white towel around his hips.

“Are you running away from the situation in general or from my offer?” Hyungwon commented and couldn't help the bitterness, feeling upset about the fact that the older man preferred to run away instead of letting him help. He remained standing in the shower, water running down his chest and long legs, washing away the remains of Hoseok’s affection. 

_ He didn't promise you anything.  _

“I'm not running away, I just finished, come out when you're done.” The handsome half naked man disappeared behind the wooden door. 

_ Liar. _

Hyungwon washed quickly, anger mixing in with the guilt. Hoseok could have also just talked to him, especially if the older intended to try to be his. There were so many things that Hyungwon was willing to give and sacrifice, there was no way that Judith could be giving the beautiful man more than that. 

_ Maybe he just doesn't know. You're the one who can make him sleep although she steals it from him.  _

Drying himself with a towel he stepped out, keeping it around his hips and looking for Hoseok in the gigantic apartment.

He found the muscular figure, clad in tight blue jeans and a simple black shirt in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and sipping on the espresso, gaze unfocused and black, wet bangs hanging into the dark eyes.

“Want me to dry your hair again?” Hyungwon asked casually, jumping up on the counter next to Hoseok and stroking over the tight fabric of his jeans with his calf. He had to either distract him or force him to think. The first appeared easier somehow. 

  
“Feel free. Do you want a coffee? I forgot to make another one, had to learn not to make two for a while, I guess I’ll have to adjust back.” Hoseok pushed himself away from the counter and started fumbling with the machine. 

_ There go the passively hurt comments, just like in Israel when he spaced out.  _

The anger only got stronger, worry and guilt pushed further back and forcing Hyungwon to clench his fist, eyes focused on the way Hoseok fumbled around to make him another coffee, just like he did for his ex-girlfriend. 

“Can't you just tell her to fuck off and be mine already?” he hissed and crossed his legs, only belatedly realizing that he went too far, further than he should have with their unclear relationship arrangement. But it was too late anyway. “I don't want anything if it reminds you of her and you just put me in her place.”   
  
Hoseok turned around, expression dark and unreadable.    
  
“The things don’t remind me of her. Right now your behaviour does.” A vulnerable and somehow sad smile spread on the curved lips. “Now you only need to want something and try to force me into doing it by using emotional attachment and familiarity.” 

Hyungwon felt like he was choking, lungs constricting and brain providing him with  previous thoughts from before, wanting to make Hoseok his by pushing down on the fact that the older man reacted to him. He had wanted to manipulate Hoseok into being with him. 

_ You're being a selfish piece of shit.  _

He panicked, jumping down from the counter and attaching himself to the other man, arms curled around his neck and bodies pressed together. 

“I’m sorry, shit, I'm so sorry, Hoseok,” he murmured and buried his head in the warm neck. “I'm an idiot, I just felt so angry somehow, completely pointless considering that we didn't even agree on anything. I'm just uselessly emotional.” He took a deep breath, trying to make his lungs work again. “She's only coming over because I wanted to be professional and told her that I doubt me delivering her spoken message would do anything. I'm so fucking sorry. You only have to deal with this because of me.”   
  
“I’m sorry for not being able to give you what you want, I didn’t want to pull you into this. I will have to deal with it either way. Maybe now is a good time, you don’t need to feel bad.” Hoseok sounded very neutral, touch only light in comparison to the way the older man had held and touched him before. It hurt, but it was his own damn fault. 

“You don't need to give me anything, Hoseok. I'm just greedy. I should have stayed with having your time for a day instead of making everything more complicated for you,” he murmured, stroking over the black hair but feeling like it was something he wasn't supposed to do anymore. It was too intimate.

He bit his lip to deal with the sudden pain in his chest and the burning in his eyes, absolutely ridiculous considering that he never felt like crying. He just broke things instead. 

“Can't you just let me help you?” he whispered, voice less clear than it had been before the emotions hit him like a truck. “Just let me be next to you.”    
  
Hoseok leaned back, observing his facial features with interest before stroking along his cheek, touch tender and accompanied by a smile.    
  
“I don’t know if you can help, but I’m thankful that you’re here.”

 

The relief was sudden, as if Hyungwon had been riding a roller coaster, up and down scary and overwhelming until the wagon finally rolled back to the beginning, end in sight. 

_ He needs time. Let him have as much of it as he wants.  _

“I’m glad,” he whispered and couldn't resist, pressing his lips to the curved ones and hoping that he didn't go beyond what was appropriate. The touch was enough to spread familiar warmth in his chest, addicting even. Hoseok kissed back, curling his arms around his waist before leaning back a little and burying his face in the crook of Hyungwon’s shoulder.    
  
“Isn’t it depressing? I promised you fun.”

“What’s depressing?” Hyungwon asked back and really hoped that his sudden hurt and change in tone hadn’t forced Hoseok to be affectionate although he hadn’t wanted to. “You’ll probably spoil me today, so of course it’ll be fun. Unless elderly women are going to try to buy me again.” He laughed, attempting to change the topic a little and make himself seem much less dependent on emotional feedback from the older man than he actually was. Squeezing the broad shoulders and enjoying the proximity, finally less inappropriate than it had felt before, he glanced at the almost black eyes.   
  
“Let’s see, me being forced to deal with my previous relationship is depressing, you being sucked into and affected by it is depressing and my reaction to all of it is the utmost depressing. But you’re right, I promised you fun and you should get it.” The curved lips pressed against his softly before Hoseok turned around, handing him a cup of coffee.

_ He's right. You're in the middle of a conflict that's not yours to solve.  _

Smiling brightly he took a sip of the coffee and rested his free hand around the older man's shoulders. 

“Then we'll just turn everything so fucking happy that the rainbow shines out of your ass.”

Licking over his lips he mustered the expression on the older man's face, revealing less of the emptiness and distance that it had showed. There must have been something to loosen him up and Hyungwon just had to find it. 

_ Are you confident, though? _

“Trust me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 13th of May at 12 PM CET.
> 
> Look forward to Judith' appearance in the next chapter
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to know more about her.”

Lifting the frame from the nail on the wall Hoseok jumped off the bed, holding the painting tightly and placing it behind the wardrobe.    
  
_ You wanted to do it three months ago. _ __   
__   
Thankfully he and Hyungwon had visited the gallery of a university friend of his, who was painting beautiful pictures that funnily enough fit to Klimt’s drawing style, using small patterns and a lot of gold. Jolie had been immediately sucked into Hyungwon’s charms paired with the breathtaking aesthetics which his pretty female friend had a weakness for.    
  
_ Everybody is like this when they see him for the first time. _ __   
__   
He placed the picture on the wall, examining the position and adjusting the angle a little. He felt relieved although the real thing was still to come.    
  
The decision to face the woman he had loved for the past six years, and who left him because of consequences that had resulted from wishful thinking, had come through the wish for peace. The wish to not be disturbed and thrown out of his routine, ruining his mood and affecting the people around him.   
  
_ Him. Affecting him.  _ __   
__   
They were both adults and he really wanted to settle the story with the shares. He needed them to keep himself independent of Judith.

The bell rang and he walked over, pressing the key and letting the woman that used to live in the same space into his apartment, feeling unusually calm and collected. He had paid attention to his style, picking tight black jeans that were hugging his thighs perfectly and a white shirt, creating contrast and making him look a little younger. He didn't put his hair up, intense gaze being more effective when the black bangs hung into his eyes a little. 

_ You act like a manipulative bastard, Hoseok. Just get this over with.  _

He opened the door and was blessed by the sight of the woman he hadn't seen for four months although they lived in the same city, had been living together for six years prior to that and shared everything there was to share including his last name. 

“I can't believe you're really meeting me after all the lawyer bullshit. I really like Changkyun, he's cute, but it was too much.” Judith spoke calmly, the low voice somehow perfectly fitting to the raven black hair, golden skin and the sea blue eyes, creating a mesmerizing picture. 

_ You might have a type.  _

She was slim, thinner than the last time they had met, black dress hugging the attractive and still curvy body, red heels fitting perfectly to the style without looking like too much. 

She was gorgeous. 

“You look stunning. Staying away from me suits you well.” 

_ She's not yours and you're not hers. You're like strangers that are tied by force.  _

He walked into the apartment, setting up the coffee machine and grinding fresh beans. Judith followed him after taking off her shoes and losing about ten centimetres of height. 

“Oh my god, you removed everything. There is basically nothing left, holy shit, Hoseok, was it that bad?” The plump lips stayed parted as the tiny figure walked along the hallway, finally arriving in the kitchen and leaning back against a counter, watching him.

“I didn't need reminders so I got rid of everything.” He pulled the cup from under the machine and placed it into the small hand.

“I guess you didn't change your mind?” 

The low, sensual voice sounded so familiar inside his apartment, as if it was part of the interior. 

_ She still thinks you might. Why? _

“Judith, it's over. I won't change my mind. I told you six years ago and I will tell you now. There is no way this fits to my lifestyle and I even let you fuck off and basically betray me and everything we built up because of that. There's no way.” Taking a sip he tried to calm down the constricting sensations making it hard to breathe. 

“You still don't get it, nevermind, I'm here because of the shares. You want them and I'm willing to give them without all the money. I don't need it, I have enough, I just want you to treat me like a normal person, like someone you know and like someone you spent six years of your life with.” Drinking from the cup, the beautiful woman looked up, sea-blue eyes settling on his, sending sparks through his body. 

_ Why are you still so affected? You shouldn't be.  _

Returning the gaze he observed how goosebumps spread along the golden skin of her naked arms, also still affected in the same way. 

“Ah, this is hard.” Judith chuckled, taking another sip of the brown liquid, observing his face, gaze sliding down his neck and chest. Her blue eyes widened suddenly, lips parting and hissing a breath. “Hoseok, are you seeing someone?” 

_ Why is she asking? Does she know? _

“Why, would you care if I did? I thought you were the one who left, so behave like it,” he hissed back, gulping down his coffee. 

“It's just- I don't know, I didn't expect it. She must really like marking your skin, or was it a one-night stand?” The light eyes lit up at the mention of a one night stand.

_ Your neck. Hyungwon bit you. A lot. _

Normally he wouldn't have cared, but standing in front of his still-wife he seemed so unprepared. 

“Yes, I'm seeing someone. This person is amazing and makes me really happy,” he shot out, crossing his arms in front of his muscular chest. Something in Judith’ gaze changed, straight white teeth biting into the lower lip as delicate fingers curled around the small cup unnecessarily. 

“Ouch,” she whispered, looking up to the ceiling and taking a deep breath. “I don't know what I was thinking, but you having someone new after three months was not part of it. That hurts.” After drinking up the rest of the coffee the beautiful woman walked over to him, leaving only a little space between them and lifting up on her toes, lips close to Hoseok’s ear. 

“I think you know exactly that there was no lack of emotion when I left, my feelings are still the same, which is why I'm still hoping you'll reconsider, but there you are, getting rid of traces that I've ever been part of your life in addition to replacing me with some kind of new toy. Don't stab me like this.” The pretty face appeared in front of his and he felt the urge to run away but stayed nevertheless, words piercing right where it hurt. 

“The lawsuit is in eight months. You'll be over it by then,” Hoseok commented, narrowing his gaze on the blue eyes while spotting a pink tongue licking over the red, plump lips. 

“Let's see. I don't think I should stay longer, I might get emotionally constipated and jump you for no reason, making everything more complicated.” A small teasing smile appeared before Judith leaned back. “Although I do miss how you feel like, maybe I should also get a new toy. Your assistant sounded really nice, I love his low voice. Is he handsome?” The slim body turned around and his wife walked in the direction of the entrance, slipping into the red heels. 

“He's mine,” Hoseok simply commented, not thinking further and hoping that the gorgeous woman would finally leave, letting him breathe and not reminding him of what he didn't have anymore. 

“I'll give you the shares, but I want to have the marketing department instead, you know it's my baby.” The plump lips spread in a genuine smile, looking so beautiful and natural. 

_ She wants to be part of the company. How the fuck do you intend on doing this? _

“You want to work for me? Are you crazy? You left saying you can't be next to me.” Hoseok groaned out of frustration at the thought. 

“Yes, but I guess now I can. I'm a little sad I can't do marketing anymore. Be professional, Hoseok, you know I'm good.” Judith lifted a black eyebrow, lips curling into a smirk. 

“I'll think about it.” 

Slim arms curled around his waist suddenly, Jasmine scent filling his nostrils as the incredibly beautiful woman hugged him out of nowhere. 

“Let's not do this, Hoseok. You promised me back then that you'd never be distant. You have to keep your promises, I know that it hurts but it'll go away. Right?” The last question was a whisper, arms loosening and his still-wife disappearing in the dark of the staircase.    
  
He simply stood in the hallway, reminiscing over what just happened in the approximately ten minutes that Judith was next to him. Again.    


_ She saw the marks on your neck, you told her that you’re seeing someone, she wanted to ask about Hyungwon and you told her he’s yours. What the fuck, Hoseok? You told him you can’t promise anything but then you go around telling your wife that you’re dating. _ __   
__   
_ And she wants marketing. Which is a lot better than her keeping the shares. It’s in the neighbouring building, it’s not the connecting office. It’ll be fine. _ __   
__   
His head hurt and he felt the need to call Hyungwon, to bury his head in the crook of the warm neck, sucking in the intoxicating lilac scent, to press the slim body close. He grabbed the phone, pressing the one and stared at the dialing signs before hanging up and dropping the device into the pocket of his pants.   
  
_ You can’t just call him whenever you feel like it. You still have the deal, Friday, Saturday. The end. _ __   
__   
It was hilarious, after realizing his psychosomatic behaviours sleeping didn’t seem to be a problem anymore. Although he didn’t sleep a lot it had been enough to keep him and his body in check, unlike the weeks after coming back from Israel.   
  
The soft leather gave out under his weight and he leaned back, head resting against the smooth surface, thoughts battling each other once again. The low female voice and the low male voice intertwined inside his head, creating a confusing mixture and giving him the feeling that he was lonely nonetheless.   
  
_   


  
And again he was in a different country, different city, listening to a different language around him, Munich, Germany. Hyungwon settled everything perfectly as expected, booking two hotel rooms and checking in while he stood in the lobby, leaning against one of the beautiful columns gracing the five star hotel.

Walking up to the elevator he couldn't stop thinking about the time in Israel, trying to suppress the wish to only have one room all of the sudden.   


_ You want to be with him all the time although the deal is only for the weekend. Get a grip, this is not how this is supposed to work. _

They talked about the plan in the elevator before walking up to their rooms, located right next to each other. Hoseok slid his card through the slot, forcing himself not to look at the other man and entered his rooms, shutting the door behind himself.

_ Maybe you should just go and work out for the next two hours. Better than thinking about him all the time. _

It was torture. After Judith had visited on Sunday it seemed to get worse, longing intensifying and desires he forgot existed knocking on the realms of his consciousness, begging him to fulfil them, to succumb and give Hyungwon what he wanted.

_ You. He wanted you. _

It was still crazy, Hoseok knew that, their work relationship was more than important, especially considering his plans to give his wife the marketing department. He couldn't be having her and his lover working at the same place, it was insane.

_ It will all backlash to Hyungwon. Everything. _

He knew, which is why he hesitated. But he continued wanting the beautiful black-haired man, greed getting bigger and thoughts circling around the mesmerizing person. He arrived at the point where Hyungwon getting unnecessarily hurt had been the only reason for not throwing himself at the handsome, young man.

_ He was right. He just drove you nuts, making you want him and nobody else. _

He changed into his swimming clothes and went down to the pool, tiring out his body to the fullest, muscles screaming at him to stop, but continuing nevertheless.

Pulling himself up and sitting down on the edge of the pool Hoseok tried to concentrate on his breathing, banning every other thought and trying to calm down from the strain.

_ You can't. You can't be wanting him, it's ridiculous. Just enjoy what you have and stop being greedy. Judith and you are still a mess, he'll get hurt. _

Hoseok let out a loud sigh, closing his eyes and simulating possible outcomes, almost everything reminding him of a bad Korean drama.

_ A shitshow, Hoseok. Make sure he doesn't know that you're absolutely hooked. He'll grab it and won't give it back. _

_ Although that's what you like about him. _

Standing under the hot shower after going back up, he couldn't stop thinking about the emotional outburst Hyungwon had in his kitchen, telling him to screw Judith and come to him instead, whispering that he was sorry against his lips right after.

_ He must be really infatuated with you. He must like you a lot and you're ignoring him, Hoseok. He's probably suffering because of that, alone by himself. _

The realization hit him and he pulled a white shirt and black sweat pants over his naked body, not bothering with underwear before taking his card and knocking at the room next door.

There was shuffling and the soft creaking of a bed as Hyungwon probably climbed off to open the door, steps barely audible through the thick wood. Instead of opening immediately there was nothing, seconds passing one after the other. The younger man must have been standing in front of him, door separating them and contemplating whether he should open it, unaware that Hoseok had heard most of his movements.

He knocked again.

The lock sprang open with a click and the beautiful man’s face appeared in the door crack, black hair covering his forehead and blue eyes wide. As usual the white teeth were chewing on one cheek, long fingers holding on to the door and opening it further, revealing the same pyjama pants that Hyungwon had worn in London, in addition to the fitting top, long sleeves, covering most of the golden skin in pearl white instead. Only the top two buttons remained unbuttoned.

_ He'd be stunning while wearing a dirty potato sack, Hoseok. Chill out.  _

His gaze settled on the blue eyes while he spoke, card hitting against the door handle nervously.

“Are you busy?”

“No, what gives me the honour?” Hyungwon asked in response and revealed the rest of the hotel room, inviting him in with a casual gesture of his hand, appearing much less hesitant than he probably was before opening the door.

Hoseok walked in and moved towards the bed, crawling on top of it while leaning his upper body against the headboard. 

“Do you feel honoured because I came here?” he asked, bending his legs and curling the muscular arms around them. The other man appeared rather surprised at his actions, lifting an eyebrow and leaning against the provided work desk. The hotel room was a little simpler than Hoseok’s, basics present but less decorated with artwork and mahogany.

“Well,” the low voice began as Hyungwon let his long fingers glide through his bangs, removing them to the back before they fell forward again, adding contrast to his eyes that had disappeared for a short time. The younger placed his body further on the desk and crossed his feet at the ankle, stretched out in front of him. “You are a rather busy man.”

_ He's suffering. Look at him.  _

He nodded slowly, gaze not losing focus on the facial features, determined to understand every little twitch of the muscles on the handsome face. He leaned his chin on bent knees before speaking. 

“Who's Namjoon?” 

It must've seemed random, but he had thought about it a lot, always missing a good opportunity to ask, so he just decided not to give a shit about perfect timing. 

Hyungwon appeared surprised again, glancing towards the bedside table where his phone lay as if that had something to do with the answer. A small smile passed over the plump lips suddenly, eyes passing over Hoseok’s form on the bed.

“Why are you asking? Wondering if I am somehow caught up just like you are?”

Hoseok shook his head just as slowly, still concentrating on the facial expressions. He moved, sitting down cross legged instead, remembering Judith saying that he looked like a cute kid when hugging his knees. It hadn't been quite the concept he was going for. 

“No. You know about Judith and you know my apartment, how to make coffee at my place and which shower gel to use. I know nothing about you besides from work. And what your body feels like,” Hoseok commented while brushing his still wet bangs back.

“If I answer your question, will you answer mine?” The younger man licked over his lips and pulled himself up on the desk instead of leaning against it, legs hanging down and remaining a little spread, pyjama pants stretched at the thighs.

“Depends on the question.” He wasn't naive enough to get caught with a formulation like that. A grin followed his words, plump lips spreading wide and showing a little bit of his teeth as Hyungwon glanced towards the ground and chuckled.

“Was worth a try,” the younger man commented before returning his gaze to Hoseok’s form, stopping at his crotch for a second longer than would have been appropriate before focusing on his eyes instead. “I want to know more about her.”

_ Why Judith? _

“Wouldn't it be more natural if you wanted to know more about me? But she was also interested in you, telling me to introduce her to you.” Hoseok chuckled at the memory but stopped at the one that followed right after. 

_ You told her that he's yours. _

“I want to know everything about you, Hoseok. However it seems like whatever I know about you becomes absolutely irrelevant where she is concerned because you change. I want to know why.” Sighing Hyungwon jumped off, feet landing on the soft carpet in the middle of the room and walking over to the mini bar. “Want a drink?”

Hoseok hummed in agreement while thinking about Hyungwon’s words. It was ironic considering the fact that he had immediately wanted to call the handsome man after speaking to his wife. 

“I guess it's because it was rather sudden for me when she decided to leave, the reasons and also the way it didn't really concern emotion. You know it's easier to understand if someone leaves because they don't love you and see no possibility to work on the relationship, but it's different if everything is still there, including deep love and connection, but a person still decides to leave. Something like that?” Hoseok tried to bring his point across, closing his eyes while speaking. 

The younger man was pouring reddish liquid from a gin bottle into two glasses, back turned towards Hoseok and not revealing his reaction to the words. Taking a deep breath the other turned around and walked over to him, handing him the glass before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“I don’t understand how someone can leave if the feelings are still there, isn’t that the point at which it is about working on the relationship? Unless the other killed someone or something equally crazy I guess,” Hyungwon contemplated and bit his lower lip, confusion tainting his features. “Isn’t leaving just like giving up then?”

_ Just tell him, he won't understand otherwise.  _

Hoseok sighed after taking a long sip of the gin and turned around, staring into Hyungwon’s face. 

“She left because I didn't want kids.” 

A painful sensation spread inside his lungs at the outspoken words. It still hurt and it hurt more because Judith seemed to think it could still be helped although he had told her from the start.

“Because you don’t want kids?” Hyungwon asked again, apparently surprised and lips pulled together, liquid in his glass twirling around as he watched Hoseok’s facial expressions. “I have to admit I cannot relate to that in any way because children are the last thing I have ever thought about in my life. Would you not wanting children be a reason that justifies separating despite love? How old is Judith even?”

“She's five years younger than me, thirty. The problem is not me not wanting kids and her wanting kids. It's the wishful thinking that made her think that I might reconsider at some point, even now, although I told her from the start. But that's just how it is.” He sighed again.

“Why don’t you want kids?” Hyungwon asked, taking a sip from his gin and lifting an eyebrow, hips shifting on the bed and crossing one leg over the other, leaning on his right palm, upper body turned towards Hoseok. “There must be a serious reason if it’s something unchangeable.”

“Because I want to live for myself. The way I want to live does not fit with the concept of children, I'm always gone, basically the company is sort of a child for me. I never had the wish and I doubt that I ever will, considering the fact that I let the love of my life leave me just because of that. So that was the story.” Hoseok took another sip of the red liquid, watching how his pale fingers played with the seam of the white shirt. 

_ You can't reconsider even if you wanted to.  _

“If this was a movie I would advise you to try to get her back if she is the love of your life,” Hyungwon said quietly, shifting again and placing his half empty glass on the bedside table, looking up, blue orbs meeting his. “But I won’t because I am selfish and want you for myself.”

Sighing the younger man got up and walked to the mini bar, refilling the tumbler he had just placed on the table although it was only half empty, probably seeking a little bit of distance after the conversation.

“Bullshit.” Hoseok leaned back against the headboard, head thrown back a little. “If she had taken my words seriously back then, we would have never become like this, but she didn't, which means the whole thing was basically built on the premise that I'd succumb one day. Don't take it literally if I say something like ‘love of my life’, I did love her a lot, yes, but it's not the concept presented in movies. Not at all.” He opened his eyes again, gulping down the drink in one go.

“A relationship built on the utopian belief that character traits can be changeable without the explicit desire of the other person involved to change them. Even if the desire is there it’s hard,” Hyungwon commented and took a sip of his freshly refilled gin. He lifted the bottle towards Hoseok, asking non-verbally whether he wanted more. “I learned that is one of the main reasons for failed relationships apart from disappearing love and cheating.”

Hoseok chewed on his lip, memories flooding his brain, the countless conversations they had, talking about perspective and not agreeing, trying to find a solution but still turning in a cycle of returning dissatisfaction. 

“Would've been better if she just cheated,” Hoseok commented quietly, before standing up and refilling his glass, gulping down half of it almost immediately.

“I think it would have hurt more.” A sigh left the plump lips as the younger man curled his arms around Hoseok’s waist from the back, leaning his head on his shoulder while bending his knees a little, making sure it was comfortable despite the height difference. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Sure, I basically emptied a bucket full of my emotional past over you although you didn't answer the one fucking question I had. And that's the reason why I have no idea about you.” The gin left burning trails along his throat, arms feeling so impossibly good around him. He fought the desire to turn around and bask in the way Hyungwon felt against him. 

“Well, Namjoon he’s-” Hyungwon stopped talking as the same dubstep tune played that had interrupted them in Israel, basically hovering on top of each other as Hoseok offered the younger sex or picking up the phone. The plump lips that were close to his neck spread in a smile, easily traceable against his skin as the beautiful man chuckled. “Speaking of the devil.”

Hyungwon let go of him and walked over to the bedside table, grabbing his phone and picking up the call. The really low voice of another man sounded from the device, relatively loud in the quiet room.

“I swear, Hyungwon, if you hadn’t picked up just like in Israel I would have genuinely worried about your basically suicidal ass. I wanted to have at least five minutes of distraction from theoretical physics.” The younger man listened intently and looked up to wink at Hoseok as he grinned, changing the ear to which he pressed the mobile phone.

“I’m doing great, the hotel room is fancy and it’s lovely to be in Germany again. Not sure if I’ll find the time to meet mom and dad, but I’ll see. To be honest I kinda have a visitor over, so if you don’t mind I’m going to ditch you again,” the plump lips replied as Hyungwon threw himself on the bed, white pyjama fitting perfectly to the white sheets.

“Are you going to look like someone punched your shoulder again? You’re mental, Hyungwon. Have some mercy on your own ass,” the low voice muttered but it sounded only partially accusatory, as if the man on the other end of the line had dealt with similar actions before. “Don’t upset that sugar daddy of yours back in Paris just because you like to be free.”

_ Sugar daddy what? _

The younger man seemed shocked, lifting a palm to the phone like he intended to make sure Hoseok couldn’t hear the man called Namjoon, but it was too late anyway.

“Don’t be jealous just because you are dating your study subjects,” Hyungwon hissed back before saying his goodbyes and returning the phone to the bedside table. Staring at Hoseok the younger seemed a little uncomfortable, pushing himself up on the bed and resting against the headboard.

“He’s my university friend that I share a flat with.”

Hoseok leaned against the desk watching the whole thing and nodding. 

“I see. So I'm your Paris sugar daddy.” He took a sip of the gin and threw his head back, looking at the white ceiling. “I somehow thought you were extremely infatuated with me, but I must be delusional, right? The behaviour is always different depending on the setting, I don't know why I forgot that. You fucked up my analytical thinking abilities.” Letting out a low chuckle, Hoseok emptied the rest of the gin and turned around, facing Hyungwon. “See you tomorrow.” He smiled and walked over to the door. 

The younger man panicked, bed creaking immediately as he attempted to stop him, slim arms curling around his waist and face pressed into the area between his shoulder blades. 

“I never called you that. Namjoon says it because you spend so much money on me,” Hyungwon murmured and rubbed his face over the fabric of Hoseok’s shirt repeatedly, breath impossibly warm against his skin. “I just don't know how to act, Hoseok. My life is so fucking different from yours. I probably seem pathetic to someone like you.”

The low voice sounded desperate, plump lips moving against his back instead of speaking freely and fingers digging into the skin of his sides. 

It felt so good being hugged. 

Hoseok peeled the hands off and turned around, facing the incredibly beautiful man. 

“You don't seem pathetic, why would you? I don't really understand why you would want...me? I mean- is that what you want?” He curled his arms around the slim waist, enjoying the feeling way too much. 

Hyungwon bit his lip, pyjamas and the black bangs on his forehead making him look even younger than he already was. Nodding slowly the mesmerizing man hugged back, long fingers slipping into the silky strands of Hoseok’s hair, moving in smooth circles. 

“I want you,” Hyungwon whispered and met his gaze with those fascinating deep blue eyes of his. 

Hoseok wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss the plump lips so badly, feeling how Hyungwon gasped inside his mouth, but that was not the reason he came. 

_ You came because you thought he was suffering because of you.  _

Curling his arms tighter, Hoseok stared into the blue eyes for a second, collecting his thoughts. 

“Does my behaviour affect you? I mean when I'm distant, does it make it hard on you?” he asked, licking over his lips. The younger man hummed in response.

“I don’t want to force you into anything, but-” Hyungwon whispered, soft palms stroking along Hoseok’s neck. “Please don’t run away, at least not from me.” 

_ You were right. He's suffering because of this. _

“I really don't want to hurt you but this whole thing is bound to hurt you. I'm thinking really hard but I just can't find a good solution for this.” Sliding his fingers over the thin fabric of Hyungwon’s pyjamas Hoseok tried to collect his wits and not embrace the younger man completely. It always resulted in the inability to talk and the whispering of emotionally loaded confessions without proper analytical backup. 

Hyungwon’s eyes widened and he held on tighter, opposed to Hoseok’s attempts to not melt into the embrace.

“But I’m not forcing you into anything, I am totally fine with meeting on Fridays and Saturdays, Hoseok. It’s okay, really,” the younger man elaborated quickly, voice a little higher than before. “You don’t have to go all out just because of my- my attraction to you.”

“But what about my attraction to you?” His voice was unusually low. 

“Y-your attraction?” Hyungwon asked before the large eyes closed and the beautiful man took a deep breath, establishing his calm. Merely the way he chewed on his lower lip remained as a sign of nervousness. The eyes narrowed a little just like the hands around Hoseok’s neck.

“If you want me you should act on it.”

Hoseok smiled at the action, slightly amused by the change and the naive response. 

“We're not at the gay prom, Hyungwon. I'm a CEO, you're working as my assistant at my company and I'm thirteen years older than you, our lives are different and the people around us will assume things that will hurt you. And then there's Judith.” Hoseok watched the other man's reaction intently.

The plump lower lip was sucked into the beautiful mouth and Hyungwon glanced at his collar bones instead of his face, visibly thinking about his words with the way he played with his fingers around Hoseok’s neck.

“Is this the point at which you tell me that I am naive for not caring about all of that as long as you are mine?” the younger man whispered, leaning forward so that their lips were almost touching, gaze intense. “I’m kinda used to...being judged.”

_ He knows nothing.  _

“It's the point where I'm amused at your naivety thinking that I would do something despite knowing that you'll get hurt.” Hoseok breathed against the plump lips, the slim body feeling as if it belonged just there, in his arms.

Hyungwon chuckled, pushing Hoseok closer with the help of the hands around his neck.

“But isn’t it always a matter of weighing up what would hurt more? Don’t you think I would be more hurt if you decided to keep me at a distance instead of letting me have you?”

“That depends, if I keep the distance we wouldn't meet on the weekends anymore because it would only fuel it, right? You would be able to get used to it, I mean- how strong is your ‘attraction’ to me anyway.” Hoseok chuckled after pronouncing the word such that it was clear he strongly doubted that ‘attraction’ was the case between them. 

The large eyes narrowed as Hyungwon’s lips pulled into a thin line and he removed his hands from around Hoseok’s neck, only to push them forcefully against his shoulders, so that his broad back hit the hotel room door. Attaching himself fully the younger man curled his arms around his neck again, lower body entirely pressed to his, pyjamas only barely leaving room for imagination and lips only millimeters apart from him, touching each time Hyungwon breathed in.

“Don’t you fucking dare decide what’s good for me, Hoseok. I can do that perfectly well on my own. You know exactly how I feel about you so don’t fucking play with me,” the younger man hissed and clashed their lips together, long fingers pulling painfully at his hair.

His heartbeat picked up at the sudden action, adrenaline spiking up. He sunk his teeth into the plump lower lip, hands reaching down to the lean thighs, grabbing them tightly and lifting the slim body up while turning and clashing Hyungwon’s back against the door. Letting go of the lip he narrowed his gaze, observing the beautiful face, while his body started betraying him at the proximity. 

“You don't know what playing looks like. This is just you not being able to be honest with me and I'm amused by that. It's really cute,” Hoseok breathed against the red lips, pressing his hips into the slim body. 

It was fascinating how the blue color disappeared as the younger man breathed heavily and watched him, just to take over the eyes as soon as Hoseok spoke, anger returning in a matter of seconds and nails digging painfully into his back.

“Shut the fuck up,” Hyungwon hissed and kissed him again, biting down on his lower lip and pulling his hair such that he leaned back a little, Hyungwon above his face, eyes fierce. “You already fucking know that I'm in love with you.”

It was intense, hearing a confession from someone that was not Judith, right after an insult, so overwhelming but equally beautiful.

_ He loves you.  _

_ He loves you, Hoseok.  _

A smile spread over his features and he let go of the thighs, cupping the small face with both palms, mesmerized by the fight for emotions mirrored by the facial expressions on Hyungwon’s features. 

“I can indeed rely on your skills, you told me you would make me want you and nobody else,” Hoseok chuckled shortly. “And here I am.”

The anger dissipated into nothing just like it had appeared, blue eyes widening and plump lips parting, emotions displayed without any hesitation. Hyungwon lifted his hands, placing them on top of Hoseok’s which were still cupping his beautiful face. The long fingers easily slid into the spaces between his.

“But what does that mean, Hoseok? What are the consequences? I feel like we just move in circles all the time,” the younger man whispered and bit down on his lower lip, color already blood red from the way Hoseok had abused it before.

“We do. Because the whole situation sucks still, but the variable of my affection towards you keeps changing and increasing, which makes it really hard to resist.” He sighed before placing a soft kiss on the plump lips, not breaking the contact for a couple of seconds. “Just be mine then.” 

“Oh my god,” Hyungwon hissed before curling his whole body around him, arms pressing his head closer which was a little funny due to the height difference. The plump lips spread in a smile so wide, it resembled a reversed rainbow, happiness contagious with how honestly it was displayed. “Holy shit, okay.”

Jumping up Hyungwon curled his legs around his hips, changing their height such that the younger man could sink his long fingers into his hair and force him to throw his head back, beautiful mouth closing the distance between them. 

“Oh my god,” Hyungwon whispered again and lapped at Hoseok’s lower lip, licking over his own right after as if he wanted to commit the taste to memory. Stroking along the full length of his neck the younger man began grinning suddenly. “I always get what I want, babe.”

_ He'll drive you completely nuts, this fucking tease.  _

“Your self confidence is adorable, but I'll leave you with the the illusion, because I'm nice.” Hoseok grinned and focused his gaze on the dark blue eyes, coming a little closer slowly, lips spread in a playful smile instead of the grin, catching Hyungwon’s shaky exhales and stopping when the tips of their noses touched. 

“Confidence gotta stem from somewhere, don't you think?” the younger man asked, but his breath hitched at the proximity. “What am I allowed to do to you or shall I just find out by myself?”

“Nah, it can be absolutely groundless.” Hoseok grinned again before licking over the soft skin of the younger man's neck, biting down and humming against it. “You want to do something to me? I'll tie you up if I don't like it.” Hoseok smirked. 

A shudder passed through the long legs that tightened around his hips and the expression on the beautiful face revealed that it was positive only, teeth chewing on the lower lip as a smile played around the edges. 

“To be honest I want to curl around you and not let go, I haven't really thought further than that,” Hyungwon commented with a laugh and kissed him, short but sweet. “I love it when we are abroad. I missed Germany a little.”

_ It feels so good. He's able to make you feel like this.  _

“Want to sleep in my bed tonight?” Hoseok placed another kiss on the red lips before shaking his head at himself. “I want you to sleep in my bed. What's your opinion on that?” 

“Please,” Hyungwon whispered and rested his head on his shoulder, simply remaining in his arms and breathing softly, warmth spreading along the skin of his neck. “I still can't really believe this is happening.”

“Me neither. I'm insane,” Hoseok commented and walked towards the table where he spotted Hyungwon’s room card, taking it while still holding the slim body over his hips. He walked out of the room, shaking his head at himself once again and opened his own door. When the lock closed he looked up at the beautiful face once again. “I have to admit that I missed you.” 

“Oh what a great sacrifice to admit to,” Hyungwon replied, sarcasm pouring from each word. “Are you aware that you just carried me through a hotel hallway in my pyjamas while holding me over your dick? Just curious.”

“It is a great sacrifice, I hate being dependent on anything including emotional attachment. Yes I'm aware, I told you I'm going nuts, but at least the dick wasn't inside you, which would've been more fun actually.” Hoseok slid his hands over the lean thighs, lips spread in a grin before cupping the firm butt with both hands.

“Perv, although you're probably right.” The younger man grinned and pushed himself towards Hoseok’s hands although he had just called him a pervert. “But maybe we can add a little more warm up in the future to keep my motor abilities.” Hyungwon laughed loudly and pulled at Hoseok’s hair, hinting in the direction of the bed. “Kinda nice actually, I feared that I would be alone tonight.”

“Damn, I love it when your body is all over me.” He caught the plump lower lip with his teeth, nibbling on it while humming a little from the warm feeling that spread inside his chest at the way Hyungwon felt. He really loved the way the young man curled around him while they slept. 

“I get that a lot in addition to being tight. I tell ya, I'm a treasure,” the beautiful man whispered against his lips and rolled his hips, eyebrow raised in a teasing manner. “You won't be able to escape anymore.”

_ Does he think you only like his body? Is that it?  _

“I'm not going to fuck you today,” Hoseok simply commented, carrying the slim body to the bed and dropping the beautiful man on it. Looking down on the shocked expression he licked his lips slowly, trying to hide his arousal. “I also don't care whether you're pretty, or tight or whatever your teenage brain came up with.” 

Hyungwon rolled his eyes and changed his position, slipping under the blanket with his long legs and covering himself until the chest, arms crossed behind his head. 

“As you wish, I'm not the one with the gigantic hard dick. In addition you said that before, that my looks don't really matter to you since that's not what gets you going. I know.” Suddenly the expression on the beautiful face changed, teasing manner disappearing and soft features returning, expression emotional as one arm loosened from the position behind his head and reached for Hoseok. “Hug me, please.”

_ He loves you, Hoseok.  _

Something spiked up inside him at the sight and he crawled on the bed, placing both arms next to Hyungwon’s head, hovering over the beautiful face and placing kisses all over it, before leaning further, leaving only a couple of millimetres space between their bodies. 

“Like this?” 

The plump lower lip trembled as Hyungwon nodded, emotional expression becoming even more genuine than it had been, fingers tentatively brushing over his shoulder and along his back, finally settling at his waist. The plump mouth parted before the following words left the attractive man, blue eyes unable to look away from his almost black ones. 

“Kiss me.”

He leaned in, plump lips giving in to the pressure of his own, tongue sliding inside the delicious mouth, previous tension melting at the touch and sensations while creating a different kind of tension. It felt intense. 

Hyungwon let go, relaxing in his arms and stroking along his skin, not as urgent as it usually was but calm, like he wanted to enjoy every little touch, keeping it for as long as he could. When their lips parted the younger man licked over his own again. 

“You can have me, Hoseok. I'll be yours as long as you gift me this in return.” Hyungwon closed the distance again, kiss tender and short, just enough to create a tingling feeling. “That's everything I need.”

_ That's how humans are, thinking something will be enough to quench the thirst forever, not thinking about the possibility of wanting more.  _

_ He'll grab it and will want more and you're not even sure that you'll be able to give it.  _

***

It felt a little ironic to be in Germany, the country with some of the best organisation and bureaucracy while having one of the most complicated and disorganized relationships out there. 

_ What the hell are the two of you now? Dating? Friends with benefits? _

Hoseok hadn't promised him a single thing, asking him to be his without offering anything of his own. It was clear that the older man was infatuated with him and claiming anything else would have been a blatant lie, however his boss apparently didn't consider it necessary to clarify their relationship further than possessive pronouns and cuddling in bed. 

_ It's your fault too. You said it's fine as long as he kisses you tenderly. _

_ Just like an emotional idiot.  _

Hyungwon sighed at himself, squeezing himself into the Munich metro and feeling impossibly grateful that it was one of the newer models and allowed him to walk into the middle with seats, the area where nobody wanted to be. The air was a little better there and cleared his thoughts, just not enough to solve his problems. 

Had Hoseok asked him whether he was satisfied with the arrangement Hyungwon would have said no, finally free of the emotional agreement to be satisfied with every little thing just because he was in love. Now that the older man wasn't right in front of him it felt easier to demand things, to wish for affection in return instead of just being a possession. 

_ You want him to date you, to actually commit instead of fucking you and cuddling you to sleep. _

His facial expression must have been intimidating as a young woman stepped away and murmured something about creepy eyes, whispering in her friend’s ear as if that looked any less suspicious. Throwing both of them a smile Hyungwon squeezed his way to the door and left the wagon, finally arriving at the area his parents lived in, a little outside the city.

Hoseok had been nice enough to allow him to skip the evening part of the program and go for dinner with his parents. The last time he had seen them was one and a half years ago when he had visited to bring the last bit of his belongings back to France, not expecting to return to Germany again. 

Entering the traditional German restaurant, Hyungwon took in the wooden interior, decorated with gigantic barrels of beer, local production and covered in blue and white, the Bavarian colours. His parents were rather enthusiastic about the savory and salty taste, something he was consistently surprised by. Maybe that's why they picked Russia first and then Germany as their homes. 

“Hi,” Hyungwon commented quickly as soon as he saw them chatting at a table in the back. His mother looked as serious as ever, hair in a pretty bun and nails coloured a bright red, fitting to the dress she was wearing. His father was more on the inconspicuous side, simple dark blue suit and eyebags that could have served as a home for a family with three children. Somehow they didn't look much older than one and a half years ago, expressions the same just as the smiles that turned towards him. 

“Your hair is black!” his mother exclaimed and gave him a tight hug, pulling at the skin of his upper arm and shaking her head right after. “Paris beauty standards aren't for you. When will you finally put on some weight.”

Hyungwon just chuckled, knowing that it was pointless to comment on that and rubbing over the abused skin instead. 

The conversation was light, Hyungwon telling them about finishing his degree and starting a job, one that he enjoyed and earned well with. He also talked about having the possibility to prove himself, something that seemed to be rather special about his superior. 

He strategically left out the fact that they were fucking and kind of figuring out their feelings for each other. That would have been a little too much for pleasant dinner conversation. Hyungwon knew his mother rather well and wouldn't have put it past her to consider stabbing him with that hairpiece of hers. It sure as hell was pointy enough. 

“So, when are you finally getting married, Hyungwon?”

The question returned each time they met and didn't get any less annoying over time, result always the same and ruining his mood. It was only a sentence but Hyungwon already wished to stand up and leave and cuddle up in Hoseok’s bed instead, enjoy the warm skin against his and bask in the affection that he couldn't name yet.

“Mom, I'm not even dating. In addition it's a little harder to find someone when you're gay.” The frown followed immediately and Hyungwon barely held back the eye roll and the desire to stand up and leave. They just didn't know any differently but they tried,  one way or another. 

“Are you still not out of that phase of yours? Isn't it time to return to proper love interests? You're such a nice young man. It'll be a waste,” his mother elaborated and took a sip of her gigantic beer cup. It looked rather funny with her petite form, so Hyungwon barely held back the giggle, body attempting to mask the hurt at her words with amusement. 

“I'm sure there will be nice men that are going to enjoy my company just as much as a woman will,” he answered patiently and bit his lip, thinking of Hoseok and what he would say to him once they saw each other again instead of his mother's hurtful remarks. Seeing his parents’ inability to accept his partner choices he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to tell them that he was in love with a man who was thirteen years older than him and owned a company. They would think he was mental, letting money or success influence him. The thought was scary somehow. 

_ Of course Hoseok thinks you're a child sometimes, you're considering how to introduce him to your parents like a high schooler. He doesn't have to care about things like that at all.  _

Hyungwon didn't really have the possibility to not give a shit, only two months ago his parents had still sent him money, helping him to finance his studies.

_ They would probably think that you jumped him to be independent.  _

It was ridiculous since Hyungwon hadn’t even wanted to use the company card for a taxi, aware of how much money that would have wasted although Hoseok had told him that it was fine. 

“I’m happy that you decided to colour your hair black. It's more like my son,” his father commented suddenly after having remained quiet throughout the conversation and letting his mother talk. It was a little touching somehow, reminding Hyungwon of how his dad was constantly made fun off for not believing that his wife cheated because none of his parents had his eye colour. 

_ That's why you can't just fuck their opinion, they care in their own way.  _

Smiling brightly Hyungwon used the rest of the time to tell his parents about cheerful events, such as Namjoon and his daily escapades and inability to keep anything safe and unbroken. There were always topics that were best avoided around certain people and around the two individuals that gave birth to him his sexuality seemed to be one of them. 

_ Just hope that you can talk about everything with Hoseok without him leaving.  _

_ Like the fact that you want to be loved back.  _

_   
  


Closing the door of his hotel room behind himself Hyungwon threw his slim body on the bed and exhaled loudly, tired from the trip and long conversation. His mother had turned him into Swiss cheese with the constant questions and details she asked about. 

It got especially awkward when she asked about Hoseok and Hyungwon had been forced to give the most dishonest description of the older man that had ever left his mouth. His parents were a little obsessed with strictness and distance and something deep inside him really wanted them to like the man he was in love with. 

_ You need to talk to him. Or at least see him or you'll just continue to feel like shit.  _

Pushing his almost weightless body off the mattress he got back up and threw a glance at the watch. It was 10PM, alright for a late visit. He was wearing tight jeans and a really wide pullover, almost drowning in the fabric and the way it covered his palms. 

_ Maybe you can hide in it when he asks you what drugs you're on to expect your boss to date you.  _

Taking one last calming breath he left his room with sure steps and stopped in front of Hoseok’s, knocking thrice, curious how the older man would behave after their intimate one sided confession and the night spent in each other's arms the day before.

The door opened, presenting him Hoseok in black sweatpants, shirtless, rubbing a white towel over the wet, black hair and looking a little surprised.

_ Fuck, just do what you came for before he makes you horny or emotional.  _

Hyungwon placed his palms flat against the wet muscular chest and pushed, making sure he could enter the room and closing the door behind himself, back resting against the wood and staring at the now even more surprised man. 

“How did the meeting go?” he asked to have a conversation starter that had nothing to do with their relationship and even less with bodily attractiveness. 

_ You must look like you're semi-panicking, pretending to be all casual while looking at his nipples instead of his face.  _

“Good? Did you come to ask me that?” The older man tilted his head to the left, rubbing against his bangs while flexing the muscles of his arms and chest, looking even more pumped, probably after a ridiculously long workout. 

_ Is he doing that on purpose? _

Hyungwon shook his head and straightened his back, stepping closer to the muscular man and curling his arms around him to check the reaction, see if proximity out of nowhere was okay, without emotional conversations and sudden confessions. 

“Thank you for letting me see my parents,” he said, quietly since his lips were right next to the older man's pretty ears. Hyungwon was genuinely thankful, especially since he had skipped a meeting he was in charge of just to fit his father's busy schedule.    
  
Hoseok curled his free arm around his waist, pressing a kiss against his ear.   
  
“You don’t need to thank me, it’s a given. I hope you had lots of fun. Did you pack for the flight already? It’s pretty early tomorrow.” He felt the wet skin against his cheek while the hot air kept hitting his ear. 

“Yeah, mostly. I'd rather spend the rest of the time with you though.” Hyungwon buried his face further in the warm neck, some of the wet, black strands cold against his cheek. The thick pullover was soft but kept him from feeling more, Hoseok’s naked skin appearing impossibly distant from his, only his fingertips enjoying the pleasant warmth. 

_ You're getting emotional again. _

“I feel honored.” The older man chuckled and leaned back a little, looking at him with a beautiful smile on the incredibly handsome face. “I suck at this. Mind drying my hair now that you’re already here?” 

Hyungwon would have loved to remain focused on his goal but the bright smile on the beautiful face in addition to the fact that it was impossibly intimate somehow took his decisiveness. He smiled back and placed a kiss against the curved mouth, considering it allowed after the light kiss on the cheek that he had received. 

“I'd love to.” Letting go of the older man he entered the bathroom and grabbed the blow dryer, again positively surprised that it wasn't attached to the sink, since it had been in his own hotel room. Popping his head out from the door frame he grinned and lifted a suggestive eyebrow, holding up the dryer. 

“Would you like me to do it on the bed, Mr. Shin?”   
  
“Sure, give it to me, Hyungwon.” The older man chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed. It was kind of pleasant to be able to make fun of a previously intense situation, one in which he had tried to rile his boss up sufficiently to touch him. 

Connecting the blow dryer Hyungwon let his long fingers run through the black hair, soaking wet although it should have been towel dry if the older man had done a proper job. 

“How do you live on this planet for 35 years if you can't even dry your hair with a towel,” he commented and began collecting some of the strands in between his fingers and drying them carefully. “I took care of my hair when I was thirteen or something.”

“I didn’t care before because I didn’t need it. It’s perfectly fine like this,” the older man commented and chuckled. “Actually I still don’t care, I just like how your fingers feel when you do it.”

“Is that how you make most of your decisions? ‘It feels nice’?” Hyungwon asked and added more of a massage to the motions of his hands, relaxing the neck muscles as he dried the older man's bangs. 

There was something to Hoseok that his previous partners didn't have, something dominant and clear. It was like the black-haired man mostly knew what he wanted but didn't say it instead of just pretending to know what was going on and fucking up later. It was attractive and pulled Hyungwon in like a pendulum during hypnosis. 

  
“Not really. I normally think and simulate possible outcomes, trying to use all possible resources and experience. Of course I also fuck up, creating psychosomatic bullshit over an emotional reaction, but I simply shake my head at myself and rethink. How do you make decisions? ‘It’s exciting so fuck everything imma do it’?” Hoseok grinned and pulled his legs up, sitting down cross-legged. 

Hyungwon couldn’t help but laugh loudly, imagining his life if he had indeed made all his decisions based on a random thought or urge. He was a cognitive person, one of the reasons for studying psychology and trying to understand thought patterns better. It didn’t mean that he hadn’t acted on impulses when he was in love, but he was perfectly able to understand that it had been stupid to feel happy without getting any kind of confirmation of the older man’s feelings.

“If I acted on excitement I would already have married some random teenager with a big dick in vegas and gone on some hitchhiking trip through the world. But I’m not because I have a brain and know that’s not how the world works and not getting an education will only bring me as far as a raft in the open sea.” He sighed, remembering the fact that he still didn't really know what he wanted to do with his degree despite working so hard to achieve it. His infatuation with Hoseok had successfully distracted him from his first world problems to turn them into another type of first world problem. “I can be very emotional, but tend to cool down quickly once I am not confronted with the stimulus. It helps me to analyze what I really want.”

It was somehow easier to talk about his perspective while drying the beautiful man’s hair, standing right before his legs and not watching the facial expressions at all times, able to stare at the white wall instead or the silky black hair, keeping enough distance to talk genuinely.

“Ah,” the other man let out, as if he had suddenly understood something. “That’s why you always go back and forth, play cool, curl around my body, insult me and tell me you love me right after?” Hoseok looked up and the dark gaze settled on his face as the curved lips spread in a smile. 

_ He thinks that you can easily slip away from all of that, doesn't he? _

“No,” Hyungwon replied and bit his lip, a little angry at the fact that Hoseok believed he just switched affection from one day to the next. 

_ If that were true you wouldn't be here right now.  _

“All the things I do are the fucking truth, Hoseok. I can't just turn it off when I leave the room. I'm just able to think a little further than the desire to attach myself to your body and be kissed senseless.” He exhaled through his mouth, anger bubbling in his chest as he released the tight grip on Hoseok’s hair that he had apparently established and continued drying the hair in the back, massaging instead of digging into the skin.    
  
“You can pull my hair if it helps you get a grip on your emotions, Hyungwon.” The other was trying to make fun of his outburst. “Of course everything one does is real and true. It always is because it happens and it’s a reaction to a specific situation, doesn’t mean it’s forever or that it automatically has a solid base. Shouldn’t you know that?”

_ Asshole. As if you don’t know your own fucking feelings and their intensity. _

“So you think I’m having a phase?” he asked, voice like venom as he pulled at the black hair to tilt the older man’s head such that he could stare at the dark eyes, towering over the muscular man due to the position.   
  
“How would I know? I basically have no idea about your personality. I know that you’re smart, that you read a lot and that you’re a manipulative tease. I also know that you’re living together with a dude named Namjoon, but that’s basically it.” The gaze was intense and Hoseok didn’t even try to look away, piercing him with the dark eyes. “But considering your age you hate so much, probable lack of experience, the stuff your flatmate said about you on the phone and your behaviour, I would say it’s a phase.”

_ He has no fucking idea. _

Hyungwon turned off the hair dryer with his thumb and threw it to the side, not giving a single shit where it landed, loud noise in the background the soundtrack to how he pushed the older man down to the bed and sat down on top of him, both arms placed on each side of the pretty face.

“Listen up, genius,” he hissed and shifted his thighs, exhaling against the curved mouth while his lower body was pressed firmly against Hoseok’s. “I usually prefer to have casual encounters because I dislike my freedom being restricted and I travel a lot. This tends to upset people that want a permanent relationship. However your  _ oh so _ adult ass apparently managed to get me hooked enough that I’d rather attach myself to your fucking hip instead of thinking what I want to do next. I know myself and although it’s new, it’s not going away, so stop sounding like my mother telling me I’ll get over being gay, since it’s ‘just a phase’, asshole.”   
  
Hoseok lifted his arms and put them over his head, grinning shamelessly.    
  
“I never told you that you’d get over this phase in the near future, not when I decide to play along probably.”

_ He’s trying to rile you up. _

Hyungwon grinned back and rolled his hips right on top of the older man’s groin, exhaling against the curved lips as he licked over his own bottom one.

“Great, then how about you tell me whether you have finally settled on actually playing along or whether you are still in the process of simulating possible outcomes and trying to figure out what you actually want?”   
  
The grin spread even wider as the older man lay on top of his palms, staring up to him.   
  
“You know I’m an old man who wants peace, but this handsome fucking tease of an assistant doesn’t let me, being all intelligent and gorgeous and wanting things. The simulation result is a giant shit show I’m not sure you’re fully aware of. What exactly is it that you want? And don’t bullshit me with ‘just kiss me and it’s enough’, you can tell stuff like that to your university friends.” Hoseok licked his lips while looking the most dominant Hyungwon had ever seen the older man although the other was basically lying under him with his arms under his head.

_ The question is what he wants and not what you want. _

“Don’t worry, I was bullshitting myself with believing that I will be satisfied with kissing you only. That’s what I meant with time to cool down. I want you to be mine and you haven’t promised me anything yet, just that you want me to be yours, which is rather one-sided, don’t you think?” Hyungwon licked over his lips and rolled his hips again, enjoying the way it felt, palms resting on the muscular chest instead of the sheets next to Hoseok’s head.

_ He said he ended up wanting nothing but you, so it better be the fucking truth. _

“Well you hissed ‘be mine’ at me so I thought it was the terminology you were using.” Hoseok’s lips parted at the movement of his hips, but he caught himself pretty fast, gaze still intense and focused on his face. “Now you’re telling me the same stuff again, what does ‘be mine’ mean, didn’t I teach you about proper terms of agreement? How would you know that we mean the same things?”

Hyungwon narrowed his eyes and rolled his hips again, wanting to see more than a simple suppressed reaction of pleasure on the older man’s face. The self-control was no joke and he wanted to break it, make it turn into the desperate affection he had seen before.

_ You keep forgetting that this is not what affects him, Hyungwon. _

He inhaled slowly, lips parting and focusing on the black eyes of the man below him, his own widening a little at the question he was about to ask, worry and excitement building up in his chest and drenching him in emotions he had tried to keep away, but decided to bask in afterall, voice barely more than a whisper.

“How do you feel about me, Hoseok?”   
  
The mocking expression was wiped from the handsome face in an instant, making room for a more than serious gaze, teeth nibbling on the lower lip while the hips shifted a little.    
  
“It’s complicated. I want you to be next to me and I keep thinking about you, the way you think and how you would react to things, what your conclusions of experiences would be, what you would say in certain moments.” The gaze went up to the ceiling for a second before returning. “I react to you on many different levels including the emotional one, your gaze makes me feel. The way you whisper those affectionate things into my face, independent of the sexual attraction, creates an immediate response. I want to know more about you. What’s your terminology for that?” Hoseok exhaled loudly before sucking in air once again.

“What is the immediate response that my behaviour creates in you?” Hyungwon asked quietly, watching the attractive face and chewing on his cheek, heart beating so fiercely in his chest that he wouldn’t be surprised if it suddenly stopped, overwhelmed by the sudden emotional outburst.   
  
“It’s hard to name it, but I guess something similar to happiness tainted with amazement and admiration?”

Hyungwon couldn’t help but smile at the complex expression, it sounded far fetched but at the same time it fit somehow, warmth that spread in his chest in addition to the excitement easily adopting the term. Still his questions weren’t fully answered, feeling a particular way and acting in another one were absolutely different things. Hoseok had again not committed to anything and Hyungwon didn’t want to be the one to run after the older man without receiving affection in return.

_ You want him, but you won’t act unless he wants you back. _

“If you think those feelings will easily fade with a little bit of distance I would call it a crush, otherwise I would call it love, Hoseok.”   
  
“But isn’t the base a little abstract for love? I mean I seriously have no idea about your personality, at least not in a way where I would consider it a proper base for the term love. You told me you love me, did you mean it? Why? How did you know? Do you know me?” One hand slipped out and cupped his chin, tilting his head a little so Hoseok could see his face better.

Hyungwon licked over his lips, watching the way the dark eyes stared at his and how the curved mouth didn’t smile. Hoseok was being fully serious, some of the previous emotionality drenching the features and making them more familiar. He shook his head.

“You’re wrong, Hoseok. You know more about me than a lot of other people. You’ve spent a lot of time around me, talking to me about my opinion on various things, art, life, actions. We talked about a lot of topics that some people never even address in their relationships such as personality traits and how to deal with them, whether a particular action is good or bad and how to decide for oneself whether it is worth performing.” Hyungwon bit down on his lower lip and exhaled through his nose before continuing, shifting on top of the older man’s hips. “What you are missing is factual knowledge. You only don’t know how I live, who my parents are, who my friends are. You know what books I read and what I do in my freetime, you talked to me about what I like to do and which sports I enjoy. You know much more about me than you think, Hoseok and I am convinced that I know enough to be in love with you.”   
  
“I guess I keep comparing it to the outcome of the six years of relationship, which is not really comparable. So what do you want from me, Hyungwon? You love ignoring my questions, don’t you?” Hoseok leaned forward, lifting his upper body until he was seated, arms curling around his waist and staring up. Hyungwon shifted again, moving a little further back to rest more comfortably on the older man’s crotch and took a deep breath, forcing the emotions back to allow him to just openly say what he wanted without having to attach himself to Hoseok’s body and kiss his lips.

_ Just tell him. If he runs away you’ll just have to grab him by the waist and make him stay. If what he said is true he can’t escape just like that. _

“Date me,” he whispered against the curved mouth, hot breath caressing the older man’s skin and sending a shiver along Hyungwon’s arms, goosebumps spreading at the sensation alone.   
  
“Are you telling me you want to be in a relationship with me, Hyungwon?” The dark eyes widened a little, but the expression stayed and so did the arms around his waist.

He nodded, biting down on his lower lip, sensation almost painful with the force he put into it, previous confidence fading and leaving the stage to numbing fear of rejection. Just because the older man had feelings for him didn’t mean that he had to act on them. Even before Hoseok had been perfectly able to stay away from him as the distance suffocated Hyungwon in the meantime.   
  
“I’m really not confident in giving you the things you are expecting or might expect from me in the future,” Hoseok’s low voice ripped through his consciousness before the handsome face moved closer, lips almost touching. “But I’ll try.”

His breath hitched and he had to place a palm to his chest, for a short second afraid that he was choking, exhale almost painful as he stared at the older man, fear replaced with excitement mixed with euphoria but not allowing him to relax fully.

“Say it. Say it properly,” he whispered and didn’t let his eyes leave the almost black ones, waiting for a real confirmation.   
  
“Fine, I want to be in a relationship with you, Hyungwon.” The other looked a little dissatisfied. “Is that fine? I can’t believe you got me so hooked that I genuinely consider dating you a good idea.”

_ He’s still doubting, but maybe you can change that. _

“It’s perfect, I’ll make you happy, I’ll do my best,” Hyungwon murmured and closed the distance between their lips, enjoying how warm it felt, spreading from his mouth through his chest and his whole body, slim arms tightening around the firm neck. It felt so freeing somehow, like he had been tensed throughout the whole day, not knowing whether the one person he wanted the most was finally his. “I love you, Hoseok.”   
  
“Ah, you got me there,” the older man whispered, smile spreading against the skin of his neck. “Experiences are always valuable, am I right?”

_ He still doesn’t say it back. _

Hyungwon let go and put a little bit of distance between them, trying to figure out whether the older man was joking.

“Are you trying to tell me you consider it a valuable experience in case it doesn’t work out? Aren’t you being a little too pessimistic there?”   
  
“I’m coming from a six year long relationship full of love that broke apart. What do you expect me to think? I just know that I feel a lot towards you and that I want you around, but I have no idea how it will turn out.” Hoseok looked at him and the expression seemed so sad suddenly, fierce look in the eyes fading and making space for hurt.

It was almost unbearable to look at, so Hyungwon cupped the beautiful face with his palms and began littering it with kisses, pressing their bodies closer together and attempting to attach himself as much as possible, thighs tight around Hoseok’s hips.

“Then I’ll just be positive for both of us,” he whispered against the curved mouth and closed the distance, focusing on the way it felt to kiss the older man, melting into the connection and gasping at the sensations. Emotions made proximity with another person so much more intense, like being set on fire without burning to the ground.   
  
“You’re somehow able to pull me out when I feel like drowning,” Hoseok whispered somewhere next to his ear after licking over his earlobe. Hyungwon chuckled in response, suddenly wanting to feel more of the older man, make him his in more ways than one.

“I am a good swimmer, Hoseok.”   
  
“Show me.” The other man closed the distance almost desperately, licking into Hyungwon’s mouth and pressing him closer to his naked chest. 

It was overwhelming, the emotional reaction the two of them had towards each other independent of sex. Hoseok wasn't asking to be let inside of him, it was much more complex than that, deeper than mere arousal or the wish for satisfaction. 

Hoseok wanted to forget.

_ He wants you to be the one to save him from his misery. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 15th of May at 12 PM CET.
> 
> So Hoseok is married and Hyungwon doesn't know. 
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “All of it sucks, Hyungwon, in one way or another."

Hoseok brushed his hair back while stepping out of the black mercedes C-class cabriolet he decided to take because it had started to get warmer, sunshine tickling his skin and the sometimes disgusting, but nevertheless somehow fresh Paris air blowing over his face and lifting his mood. He caught himself at the thought that he prefered not driving and just sitting next to Hyungwon, letting the breeze hit his face and let the thoughts free.   
  
_He’s your assistant. He’s your boyfriend and now you want him to be your driver too? Aren’t you losing your shit, Hoseok?_   
  
Banning the uncomfortable thoughts to somewhere far away, Hoseok stepped out of the elevator, spotting his best friend glancing at him carefully, head appearing in the door crack.   
  
_He gave her your number, that’s why._   
  
“So I heard you met up. How was it?” Kihyun asked, rolling a little closer to the entrance to his office, so Hoseok could see him.   
  
“Is Hyungwon there already?” Hoseok asked inconspicuously and received a short nod.

  
“Stressful, she tried hard to remind me of what I am missing out on and wants the marketing department as a trade for the shares. Which I’m going to give her, because if she has marketing I can fire her and if she has the shares, I can’t do anything. Furthermore she asked me whether I’m dating and I said yes.” Hoseok gestured with his right hand while talking and observed how the expressions on his best friend’s face changed from worry to surprise and then to shock.   
  
“You’re giving her the marketing? Are you sure that it’s a good idea? Also why would you lie to her, she’s probably hurt as fuck because you said that,” Kihyun murmured, visibly uncomfortable being friends with both of them.   
  
“I didn’t lie. I’m dating, I’m finally sleeping enough, I’m having fun, I’m getting input and it makes me happy,” Hoseok commented while brushing through his hair once again, standing propped up against the doorframe and mustering Kihyun’s face.   
  
“Where did you find time to get to know a woman? You’re always gone or with Hyungwon, did he introduce her? What is she like? Why didn’t you tell me, Hoseok, don’t you consider it necessary to tell me about your life after you two broke up?” The expression on the other man’s face looked a little hurt, mouth corners curled downwards.   
  
“It’s not a woman, it’s a man. It’s new, nobody knows yet besides Judith and you know now, so I guess it’s fine, as you’re my best friend,” Hoseok commented and turned around, not excited about the upcoming onslaught of questions, feet walking faster in the direction of his office. He heard how the other man stood up and walked after him, calling his name.   
  
“Hoseok, are you crazy? You are kidding me, right? Are you serious? You’re dating a man?” Kihyun walked into his office after him. The situation was more than unlucky because it so happened that his assistant turned boyfriend sat on the red leather couch, reading ‘Death in Venice’, like in some horribly bad movie.   
  
_This situation is bad, but Kihyun can’t know. Not now. He’ll kill him. On the spot._   
  
“You!” The short man turned to Hyungwon, eyes resembling plates. “He’s joking right? You’re close, you must know. He’s not dating a dude, Hyungwon, tell me it’s a joke.” Hoseok glanced at the ridiculously beautiful young man on the couch, shaking his head at him, hoping that Hyungwon remembered their talk in the plane about keeping their relationship secret in the work-related environment.

There must have been some acting lessons involved as Hyungwon rolled his eyes and curled his lip upwards, the most genuine expression of disgust Hoseok had ever seen in his life.

“How the fuck would I know?” the younger man commented and switched the page, legs crossing elegantly and back leaning fully against the red couch before glancing up again. “I’m his assistant and not his babysitter, not my business whom he’s fucking.”  
  
Hoseok was undecided between laughing at the whole scene, or slapping Hyungwon across the pretty face for being so rude.   
  
“Kihyun, chill, I’m dating, it happens to be a man. Judith knows, so just be a supportive friend and let me live,” he commented while brushing his hair back.

 _Well, she doesn't know that it's a man, but dating is dating._   
  
Kihyun threw his head back and groaned.   
  
“You know exactly what I think, you think I don’t know why you’re doing this? Want to show Judith so she comes back? You’ll just hurt her and that’s it. Now you just have to tell me that he’s 18 and pretty or something.” The short man glanced at him like a venomous snake and closed the door.   
  
_That went well._   
  
He turned to Hyungwon, examining the expression on the younger man’s face.

“I guess it’s all very cliche, middle aged man in his midlife crisis who can’t deal with his previous relationship falling apart and looks for some fresh meat on the teenage market,” the beautiful man remarked, still sitting on the couch and staring at the black ink on the pages, most likely not reading it anymore with all the drama that Kihyun had created only seconds ago. Licking over his lips the younger looked up, staring at him. “Just that I’m not teenage and sure as fuck not a replacement.”  
  
“Welcome to the shitshow.” Hoseok walked over, sitting down next to the slim figure, realizing how much he had missed him although they had seen each other the day before.

“They’ll get over it. In addition it seems like you want to keep it secret which sounds reasonable, so let’s do that for now. I’m not the one running through the office and screaming that I am dating a man.” Hyungwon chuckled and placed the book to the side, turning towards Hoseok and mustering his face. “You kinda look like you want to suck face, it’s basically written on your features. Missed me?” The following grin was typical of the handsome man, eyes a little wider and one corner of the plump mouth rising up.  
  
“Nah, it just seems that your mother's milk still didn’t dry on your lips, so I was staring.” Hoseok smirked and leaned back. “I have to tell Kihyun because he's friends with Judith and I kinda told her that I’m dating because she saw the marks on my neck some impatient 18 year old left.”

“Could’ve been cum too, be glad,” Hyungwon said with a smirk and licked over his lips before standing up and walking over to Hoseok’s desk, taking a batch of documents and sorting them quickly. “Not my fault you didn’t want to commit. If you consider me 18 you have some fucked up lolita shit going on in your brain that I’m not sure I want to talk about.” Smirk in place the younger man returned to the couch and threw the mass of documents on Hoseok’s lap.  
  
“Gosh, you’re so cute, makes me want to pat your head and buy you an ice cream, like the sugar daddy I am.” He looked through the documents while grinning at the way they talked to each other, making conversation so much more fun, bickering while knowing that the attraction was no fucking joke. “Did you draw me a picture, or what is this?”

There was a short twitch in the perfectly formed eyebrow, a sign that he had pissed Hyungwon off, even if it was for a short moment before the grin got even wider and the younger man let his index finger run along Hoseok’s thigh, on the path to the first sheet but absolutely unnecessary.   
  
“For being a sugar daddy you aren’t spoiling me with monetary things enough. It happens to be the contract information that piled up while you couldn’t sleep and pushed appointments. This is the final version. You need to check it if you are perfectly satisfied or if we should demand more. If you have time at 2 o’clock I am going to show you the end result of the project proposal which will be sent to the client tomorrow.”   
  
The intense gaze settled on the younger man’s face for a couple of seconds at the movement of the finger, before Hoseok returned to professional mode, nodding and looking through the information organized and presented perfectly on the white sheets.   
  
“Good, I’ll look over them, you can come over a little later to discuss this and present your project. We can schedule the trip to London then. The client had already asked a couple of times so it should be soon.” Shifting the paper into an accurate pile Hoseok stood up and placed it on his table, before turning around. “But I bet you’ll do well. I’m looking forward to your final result.”

“Thanks,” Hyungwon murmured and walked over to him, placing the palms flat on his shoulders and pressing a kiss against his lips, eyes big and face showing none of the previous teasing, action mainly emotional in nature. When their lips parted the plump lower lip was sucked into the pretty mouth and the emotionality faded. “I’ll make sure to impress.”

Grinning shortly the younger turned around and walked towards his office, only turning back to blow him a kiss right before disappearing behind the wooden door.  
  
_Ah, this is hard, Hoseok._   
  
The professional behaviour intertwined with the emotional reactions, his and Hyungwon’s, although he had tried to hide his more than the younger man did. The other man was so attractive, Hoseok asked himself how he had managed to ignore the tension and visual teasing before, not suffering the way he suffered right at that moment.   
  
_Work. You are here to work, work is your number one relationship, it has always been._   
  
Going through the documents Hyungwon had prepared, he realized once again how skilled the younger man was, earning a lot of baseline points, making the sometimes overflowing confidence understandable and adding up on the overall pile resulting in the conclusion that the person Chae Hyungwon was indeed a very interesting and unique catch.   
  
He had also talked to the CEO of the London company, persuading her that a product made by someone else but him was still of the same quality, providing the information Hyungwon had given him and preparing the younger man for the final onslaught of questions resulting from preconceptions about young people straight from university. Remembering how he had stood in front of some stuck up forty year old, presenting a genius idea ten years ago made him want to make the experience even better for Hyungwon.   
  
He told you that the idea was shit because you were young. Asshole. Stupid asshole.

 _You're still making money with it._   
  
Huffing from the memory alone he looked at his watch, realizing how much time passed and panicking a little because he had wanted to make a coffee before Hyungwon came in. He walked over to the machine and set everything up, pressing a button and waiting until the liquid filled the cup.

Spring hit Paris and the trees were covered in leaves and beautiful flowers he could spot out of his office. Not able to resist the wish to open the window he pulled at the handle and leaned out, sucking in a little of spring air instead of the tasty mixture of cold and dry that came out of the air conditioner.

“You look ethereal like that. Maybe you should be the one taking pictures,” Hyungwon’s soft voice commented behind him as the younger man returned his phone to his pocket, picture that he had taken probably already safely tucked away. “Ready to see the final version?”

Hyungwon’s face appeared confident but the little signs of nervousness that constantly slid into his movements were still visible, the slim fingers that played with the hem of his suit jacket and the way he chewed on his cheek, such that it wasn’t immediately obvious but Hoseok knew the pretty face well enough to tell.  
  
“They asked me, but I told them that they’re crazy.” Hoseok chuckled before leaning back and grabbing both cups from under the machine, handing one to Hyungwon. “Is it okay if we leave the window open? It’s a little loud, but I want to breathe the air a little longer.”

“I don’t mind noise, it's better training for when I’m actually supposed to present this in front of the client. You know this practise? Try to recite knowledge in the most unusual situations to see if you memorized it well? My mom used to wake me up during high school exam season at 4AM and ask me random math problems. That was some crazy shit.” The younger laughed loudly and stood close to Hoseok’s desk, disconnecting the laptop and arranging the slides for the final version. “I once asked an ex to fuck me while he questioned me on Pavlov’s conditioning. He’d hit each time I got it right, that was a rather practical demonstration.”  
  
Hoseok opened his mouth to say something but the words got stuck in his throat at the example.   
  
“You’re nuts,” he commented, leaning against the window board and propping himself up on both arms, enjoying the way his white silk shirt moved with the breeze.

“Aren’t you going to look at me?”  
  
“Why? Are you going to undress?” Grinning, he focused his gaze on the handsome man. He was met with an eye roll as Hyungwon gestured towards the slides and his own form, as if he expected Hoseok to need repeated pointing at the relevant factors.

“Dressed and ready to present. You just kinda have to watch to get the point.”  
  
“All yours.” Hoseok turned such that he could see the slides and focused his attention on Hyungwon and the way his lips moved to the visual input from the monitor.   
  
His assistant was good, very good. Not only did he present the whole thing perfectly, he had also thought about possible questions Hoseok had asked, giving satisfactory answers and showing more than Hoseok had thought he would.   
  
_He’s like you ten years ago._   
  
Hoseok hoped that it wasn’t the reason for liking the tall, handsome man, analyzing his own behaviour and coming to the conclusion that it was the emotional response that had ripped him out of the indifference and emptiness that Judith had left.   
  
_The world is indifferent, but he’s not._   
  
“It’s good, I like it, let’s schedule the trip. You have to prepare for more questions, mean ones, from people who don’t give a shit whether you’re smart or have a good product. People that get all worked up because you’re handsome and young, thinking you are only there because of those characteristics.” Hoseok walked over to the table and collected the contracts for the legal department, intending on taking them down himself and see if Changkyun was there.

“What kind of questions?” Hyungwon remained in place, gaze curious as he mustered Hoseok’s form and played with a strand of his hair, action relaxed compared to the nervous fidgeting before. “How can I be sure that I don’t have all this because of those characteristics? The job, yes, but I don’t know about the rest. At least not 100%.”  
  
“I’d love to give you an example, but for that you would have to present me something of bad quality so I can tell you that it’s shit and to do it again until I think that it’s sufficient. Remember me at the conference in Tel Aviv when I shut up this one guy who asked stupid questions? I’ll be behaving in the same way towards you, because if your question is stupid and your understanding sucks, you’ll know from me immediately.” He glanced up, lifting up an eyebrow, amused that Hyungwon thought he was being nice to him. “I just see potential, you could as well be a plant tub. If I think you have potential I will develop it, simple as that.”

The plump lips pulled together in a pout but it merely masked the younger man’s attempt to suppress a smile, eyes betraying it immediately and widening a little as he hummed and put the laptop back into position, turning off the slides and arranging everything the way it was.

“I see,” he commented eventually, hiding his face for a second or two before appearing perfectly professional again, just a tiny hint of a smile at the corner. “I’ll organize the trip then, Mr. Shin.”  
  
“Oh don’t Mr. Shin me for fuck’s sake. Remember when I told you that your logical reasoning sucked? You probably thought it was a joke, but I wasn’t joking. At least back then. Don’t expect pity from me. I won’t hold back, it doesn’t go well with my personality.” Hoseok brushed through his hair and took the documents, putting them inside a big brown envelope to take down.

“It’s just my way of expressing respect, Hoseok. Don’t get so angry,” the younger man murmured and got ready to return to his workspace, slim body obviously wanting to get closer but deciding not to, crossing the distance to his office door instead. “I’m not expecting pity, nor do I want you to hold back.”  
  
“Good.” Hoseok smiled and blew the young man a kiss, loosening the strict atmosphere a little.

“Don’t choke on that dominance of yours,” Hyungwon shouted, pretending to catch the kiss and throwing it behind himself as he left, steps straight and steady like a model.  
  
“Choking can be fun if done right,” Hoseok called after him before walking out of his own office in the direction of the legal department.   
  
_   


There was a lot of work that had piled up because of his psychosomatic insomnia, forcing him to stay until late again. He was insanely productive and effective so that his heart almost exploded from the euphoria at the huge pile of tasks he was able to accomplish during the hours spent behind his desk.

_Why is Hyungwon still here though?_

The young man hadn't left yet, judging by the random noises coming out of the other man's office, making Hoseok think about the handsome face more often than he would've done without auditory interruption.

_Ignoring is easier when he's not around._

But Hoseok still missed him. They didn't really do anything back in Germany and parted right after coming back, office being a bad choice for living out a dating relationship.

_You should sleep some more today._

He packed the laptop into his bag, realizing too late that he shouldn't take it home because he would just end up working instead of sleeping and clicked the windows away, shutting down his stationary work pc.

He could hear how the light was switched off in the neighbouring office, electricity buzzing shortly before three distinct knocks interrupted the silence, image of golden hands against the wood almost alive in his mind. A smile spread on his lips and he hummed, leaning comfortably against the backrest. 

The door opened, dim light revealing the blue eyes first, large on the small face which was adorned by beautiful black strands. As the tall man stepped further into the room, movements smooth, he shut the door behind himself without a sound, slim index finger remaining on the handle and lips a bright colour as if he had been abusing them prior to coming. The long legs were covered in tight black suit pants, a fitted white shirt and a light grey tie. The situation appeared vaguely familiar due to the intense gaze that immediately focused on him.

Hoseok observed the movements with interest, tingling inside his groin hinting at the incredible tension surrounding them once again. He leaned back further and raked the fingers through his black hair.

“Why aren't you home yet?”

Hyungwon didn't reply, a small smile playing around the corners of his lips as he tilted his head back a little and loosened his tie, not removing it completely but instead allowing it to remain around his neck. Next the hands got to work, unbuttoning the white shirt with quick motions and leaving the fabric to pool at his elbows, fluently transitioning to his suit pants which slipped down the beautiful legs, golden skin almost shimmering in the light of the office.

Stepping out of the clothes collecting on the floor Hyungwon played with the tie around his neck, leaving the underwear in place as he closed the distance to the desk, smoothly sliding on top of it and resting his legs on Hoseok’s thighs. The long fingers removed the tie from around his neck and curled it around both of his wrists twice, moving one of the sides through the middle and pulling it tight with his teeth. He must have practised.  The younger man forced Hoseok closer with his long legs and let his head slip through the space between the tied arms, lips parted and eyes wide, white shirt still at his elbows.

Hoseok kept licking his lips, moisture disappearing right after he applied it, breathing pattern changing and muscle tension increasing. It was as if Hyungwon intended to condition him to get hard while sitting at his work desk, memories from the first time already sufficient to increase blood flow to regions in no way associated with work.

He kept his hands to himself, action eating up a lot of resources, especially at the mesmerizing sight.

“Did you come to get spoiled?” he asked, tongue licking over his lips once again.

White teeth settled on the plump lower lip as Hyungwon glanced to the side shortly, difficult with how close they were. As the blue eyes returned their attention to his face the beautiful man nodded, pulling at the strings of hair that his hands could reach in their restricted position.

Hoseok caught the plump bottom lip with his teeth, nibbling on in and licking into the addicting mouth, lifting himself up until they were on eye level and his hips were exactly between the younger man's legs.

Rolling them once he curled one arm around the slim waist whereas the other went to the black hair, grabbing the strands and pulling such that he had more access to the bared neck, nibbling on the outline of the jugular and sinking his teeth into the soft surface.

Hyungwon cursed, lips parting further to release a soft moan as the slim thighs tightened around Hoseok’s hips, drawing him closer. It was clear that the younger man desired to do more, to touch him properly in return but was restricted in his possibilities, shiver running along the naked skin and spreading goosebumps.

“Did you miss me?” the beautiful man asked, voice breathy and eyes closed, basking in the perceptions that Hoseok was providing him with.

_A lot._

Hoseok hummed in agreement while slipping out of the embrace and kneeling in front of the beautiful long legs, letting a finger run over the golden skin of the calf, tracing the way with his lips up to the inner thighs, placing kisses and leaving small bites, basking in the reaction.

“You can't just not touch me for a week and expect me not to jump you,” Hyungwon murmured, voice frustrated as the muscles in his luscious thighs flexed at every touch, hands curling at the sensations, resting in his lap now that they weren't around Hoseok’s neck anymore. The plump lip was continuously abused, teeth biting down on it and adding even more colour to the sensitive muscle. “I need this.”

Hoseok continued his ministrations, fingers walking up and down the lean legs while his eyes were appreciating every bit of the beautiful skin they could find.

“I expected you to stand in front of my door yesterday, but I see you stayed strong,” he commented, biting into a sensitive area next to the seam of Hyungwon’s underwear, fingers sliding under it and stroking over the outlines of the obvious erection.

“Shut up,” Hyungwon hissed but almost convulsed when Hoseok’s hands finally touched him properly. “I- I have more self control than that. Don't pretend that you don't want me.”

Lifting his gaze he grinned at the beautiful man while sliding the useless fabric down his long legs.

“I'm not pretending, I just don't know where you live.”

The blue eyes widened, staring at him with disbelief and only twitching slightly whenever Hoseok continued caressing him, breaths irregular and harsh in the quiet office.

“It's not really pretty or anything. I prefer to be at yours,” Hyungwon replied quietly and attempted to push himself further into the touch, lean legs grasping Hoseok tightly and not allowing him to leave, arms returning to rest around the firm neck.

“I don't need pretty, I need you.” Hoseok continued placing soft kisses around the navel, tongue travelling down to the other man's crotch, breathing against the tip of the twitching erection.

“Fuck, just touch me already, Hoseok. I'm as fucking ready as it goes.” The frustration reached new levels as Hyungwon threw his head back and groaned, slapping Hoseok with his leg helplessly.

He ignored the plea, licking over the tip shortly, digging his tongue into the slit and teasing the connection between head and shaft, enjoying the way desperation seeped out of every pore.

The beautiful man gave up, letting his slim body fall on the table despite everything that remained on it and moaned loudly, legs shivering at the ministrations and hands placed above his head, right next to important signed documents.

_Fuck the documents._

Deciding that it had been enough teasing Hoseok finally took the gorgeous erection into his mouth completely, sucking on the tip and tracing the prominent veins with his tongue while his right hand was busy massaging the other man's balls.

The moans didn't stop, black hair thrashing back and forth on the desk as the eyes were kept tightly shut, hands helplessly trying to reach Hoseok’s hair but giving up once it didn't work, murmuring his name instead and asking for more, desperation audible in every word.

“Please Hoseok, touch me, I want to feel you, fill me up, please.”

He let the erection slip out of his mouth, glancing around.

_He must be prepared, right?_

Looking up he narrowed his gaze.

“Lube. Where is it?”

“Bottom shelf of your desk on the right,” the younger man replied and hit his head against the table again, breathing heavily and constantly pulling at Hoseok’s body with his legs.

_See? Give him the foreplay he wanted._

Hoseok pulled the bottle out of the said shelf, amazed at the level of preparation and coated the fingers of his right hand, not giving Hyungwon much time before sliding one digit in, licking over the tip of the twitching erection and curling his finger, finding the spot almost immediately.

“Fuck yes,” Hyungwon yelled and threw his head to the side, teeth nibbling on his bottom lip mercilessly as his slim hips fought to get closer, to feel more. The younger man was so eager, as if he had been starving for Hoseok’s attention for much longer than a week. The numbing pleasure wasn’t long lasting as the beautiful man lifted his head and focused the deep blue eyes on him, frowning impatiently. “Come on, I can take more than that.”

“I know.” Hoseok let the erection slip out of his mouth and smirked, sliding another digit in while leaning over the slim body on his desk, sucking on a nipple harshly.

A shudder passed over the beautiful golden body at the combination of sensations, lips parting and blue eyes shutting immediately, distracted from their impatience. Hyungwon gasped through a few more thrusts of the fingers inside him before glancing up again, intensity returning and dimmed light only adding to the contrast of eyes and hair.

“Have you forgotten what it feels like to be inside of me, Hoseok?” he whispered and moaned loudly while not taking his eyes off him, movements becoming absolutely smooth and sensual as the younger man rolled his hips into Hoseok’s fingers, hands held religiously above his head. “Don’t you want to feel me? Make me scream?”

_He'll probably only shut up if you fuck him against the fucking wall._

“You fucking tease,” he groaned against the golden skin. “How could I forget? You want me to fuck you? Just ask nicely.” He added another digit and curled his fingers, hitting dead on.

“Why would I ask if you want it too?” the beautiful man gasped and clenched around his fingers, purposefully lifting his right leg and placing it on top of Hoseok’s shoulder, allowing him a much better sight at the way his fingers entered the slim body on his work desk. “I can’t wait to feel the way you fill me up. It always looks so crazy because you’re fucking huge and I’m slim, shit.”

“How could I say no, now that you even tied yourself up for me, lying on my desk like a present?” Hoseok lifted an eyebrow and licked his lips, removing his fingers and wiping them with the tissues placed on top of his table. Putting more distance between them he stepped aside, loosening the first button on his white silk shirt disturbingly slowly, gaze focused on the almost black eyes staring back at him.

The eyes immediately focused on his hands, following each movement attentively as the thighs shivered a little, hands remaining above the beautiful face and impatience building up with the way Hyungwon buried his own nails into the palm of his other hand, chest rising and falling quickly.

“I’m a present just for you, so accept me, Hoseok,” the plump red lips whispered.

He sped up a little, sliding the silk down his pale shoulders and unbuttoning the black suit pants, stepping out of the rest of his clothing and walking towards the gorgeous man on his desk.

“You look delicious, but you look even more delicious when you're screaming into my face and scratching my back so maybe I should free you, what do you think?” He rolled the condom over his erection and lubed up before pressing the tip against Hyungwon’s entrance, circling around it and teasing the other man.

“As you wish.” The transition was mesmerizing as Hyungwon firstly narrowed his eyes, chewing on his lower lip and appearing fierce, not succumbing to Hoseok’s ministrations and merely watching the way he undressed hungrily. However as soon as he stood between the slim thighs, rubbing the tip of his erection over the younger man’s ass something cracked. The beautiful black hair spread out over the wooden table, eye contact breaking and head thrown to the side. The addicting mouth parted and began mumbling, desperation taking over every bit of consciousness that was left in the man in front of him.

“Oh my god, Hoseok, please, fucking please, just do it already. Please do it, shit-”

The way Hyungwon started begging sent spikes similar to electric impulses through his body, breath turning into liquid fire, burning him up from the inside. He reached for the tied wrists, loosening the knot and freeing Hyungwon’s delicate hands. Teasing a little further, Hoseok pushed himself in, finally moaning at the feeling of being inside the beautiful man, pulling the body down on himself until the thighs touched his hips.

The mind blowingly attractive body below him contracted suddenly, muscles tensing and short scream leaving the open mouth as Hyungwon threw his head back and buried his now free hands painfully in Hoseok’s thighs. The younger man held his breath before releasing it just like the muscle contraction, body lying almost limp on the desk and eyes widening with each passing seconds, shock obvious. The light was reflecting off the golden skin, almost like a layer of diamonds littering the lean chest and legs.

“Holy fucking shit.”

_Exactly, Hoseok._

He twitched inside the beautiful body, observing the reaction intently.

“Are you okay, Hyungwon?”

The reaction was a little delayed, wonder remaining as Hyungwon shifted and moaned at the sensation, propping up on his elbows as the other man’s erection twitched at the stimulation.

“I feel like I just came, but somehow also didn’t, fuck my life,” the younger murmured and let himself fall back to the desk, lifting his legs such that he could place them on Hoseok’s shoulders and basically rising his whole lower body to be closer, soft gasps passing the plump lips at each minimal motion.

_Make him scream._

Hoseok moved out grabbing the thin hips with both hands and thrusting into the addicting body. He let out a low moan, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, pleasure soaking through his skin.

The scream was immediate, hands scratching along his thighs painfully as Hyungwon thrashed from side to side and begged for more without a break, none of the teasing nature remaining.

“Drive me mad, Hoseok, shit. Please go hard on me. I want to feel it, just like before.”

He complied, picking up pace, body moving automatically. He felt how sweat started running down his temples, muscles doing their job, shifting the lean body, lifting it and pulling it up. Pressing Hyungwon against the wall once again, Hoseok sunk his teeth into the beautiful shoulder, slamming his hips into the beautiful man.

“Fuck, you're driving me nuts, you're like a whole kink walking around me all the time, teasing me with your manipulative behaviour, god, I can't help but love every second of it,” he breathed against the golden skin, wet from sweat and shining beautifully in the light of the lamp.

Hyungwon was melting in his hold, fingers and lips attaching to every bit of skin they could reach, scratching and sucking at it mercilessly while aiding the fast rhythm with the motion of his hips. Intertwining with the strands of his hair Hyungwon pulled so harshly that Hoseok had to throw his head back to avoid the prickling pain, plump lips meeting his and biting down, intensity rising with each second.

“You're fucking mine, Hoseok. You won't escape, I won't let you. So enjoy it to the fullest,” the low voice gasped against his mouth and the younger man rolled his hips, body convulsing repeatedly at each well aimed trust, not hiding the way the pleasure numbed his senses.

_You are. But nothing is forever right?_

“Right now I am, you're right,” he whispered, moving away from the wall and dropping down on the red couch, Hyungwon sitting on top of him. He loved the position because he was able to use the strength in his arms to coordinate the movements and had the most beautiful sight.

“It won't change,” Hyungwon hissed and lifted his hips as soon as they landed on the couch, dropping right after with force, shivering shortly before repeating the motion, eyes almost black instead of the deep blue.

Hoseok moaned right into his face, lips parting and shaky breaths escaping in succession before he grabbed the slim hips in an iron grip, holding them in place.

“Everything changes, that's why it's so exciting to live, don't you think?” A smile appeared on his face while a drop of sweat ran down his temple, rolling over his neck and down his chest.

“Of course,” Hyungwon replied with a grin, contracting around him repeatedly and pulling his thighs together to make it tighter. “But maybe now is not the time to elaborate on the benefits of change?”

“Yes. You're talking too much, I'm doing something wrong.” Grinning Hoseok lifted the hips and dropped the beautiful body down on himself while rolling his hips, pushing Hyungwon down on himself until their thighs touched fully.

The beautiful man screamed, only to interrupt it through holding his breath, scratching over Hoseok’s chest and grinning at him.

“Well, you did only fuck a woman for six years, gotta get out of practise in all that time,” he commented and rolled his hips in a circle without lifting up, hands holding onto Hoseok’s to remain in place.

_Bitch you thought._

If there was something he immediately started competing over, then it must've been his natural dominance. It was a pain in the ass but he couldn't help it. He put his hands behind his head, leaning back and looking extra bored.

The now black eyes narrowed as Hyungwon kept his grin, sliding upwards such that only the tip of Hoseok’s erection remained inside of him, moving back down a centimetre or two and back, stimulating the tip without allowing the whole length to enter him.

_You're going to die like this._

_But you'll die while having your way._

He suppressed a moan, flexing his muscles under the mesmerizing body. Lifting his head to meet Hyungwon’s gaze he made his eyes extra big, smiling encouragingly.

“You're doing amazing, sweetie.”

“Fuck you,” Hyungwon hissed suddenly and slid off, climbing off the couch and groaning in frustration. “I fucking hate losing.”

Stroking over his chest and hips with his long fingers he exhaled slowly, calming himself down his erection twitching as soon as his eyes settled on Hoseok’s form, naked with dick on display.

“Fuck me on all fours like you mean it.” A moment or two passed before the younger man bit his lip. “Please. “

_You two are a fucking explosion, holy shit._

Hoseok nodded slowly, watching how the tall, incredibly attractive man dropped to his knees and crawled forward a little, black hair and blue eyes reminding him of a panther.

“Ah, you could ask for anything at this point. You're so hot it’s frustrating.” Hoseok slid an index finger along Hyungwon’s neck and jaw, lifting it up a little until the attractive, almost black eyes met his. “You really make me want to give myself to you.”

The beautiful man looked emotional, eyes widened and some of the blue returning to fill out the orbs, chewing on his lower lip.

“Please do,” he murmured, staring back and remaining in place, waiting for Hoseok to act. It was so much more submissive somehow, emotions forcing the stubbornness to the back.

He stood up, positioning himself behind Hyungwon, stroking the naked back and shoulders, leaning in and placing soft kisses on the golden skin.

_You're so fucking hooked, he asked you to fuck him like you mean it and here you are kissing his back doggy style._

“You're mesmerizing, holy shit,” he murmured and pushed himself in, holding Hyungwon’s hips in place, moving until there was no space between them.

He didn't want any space. It was scary.

A groan left the other man, falling forward a little bit from the sensation before stabilising again, fingers digging into the carpet and muscles flexing just as the body tightened around him.

“I want to feel more friction,” Hyungwon whispered and pushed his thighs together, legs only spreading at the knees as he moaned loudly. “Go hard on me.”  
  
Hoseok didn’t know whether he really wanted to go rough on Hyungwon, but he sure as fuck wanted to hear the other man scream from pleasure, which was the reason for adjusting the angle and increasing the speed of his thrusts, feeling the shivers under his fingertips that still dug into the soft skin of Hyungwon’s sides. Motivated by the screams and pleas Hoseok got rougher, grabbing a couple of strands of the black hair and pulling it. He leaned in coordinated with one of the thrusts and sunk his teeth into the soft neck.

Hyungwon felt so good, sex with Hyungwon always felt so extraordinary, so intense, like a long story full of tension coming to a mindblowing end, burning up everything around before starting anew. But unlike with a story one had already read, being intimate with the beautiful, young man had never been predictable even once. The feelings, the sensations, even the expressions, everything was just as mind blowing as it had been the first time.

“You make me feel so much,” Hyungwon murmured in between the screams and moans, movements and actions delirious. “I've always gotten bored quickly, b- but you just grabbed me and haven't let go yet.” Screaming at another mixture of pleasure and connecting skin the younger man arched his back. “You're otherworldly, Hoseok.”  
  
“You’ll get bored. I love taking you like this, but I really want to see your face when you come,” Hoseok muttered, shaky breaths escaping through the parted lips at the strain. He pulled out and turned the beautiful body around, back placed on the soft, beige carpet, lean calves lying on his shoulders. He looked at the mesmerizing expression on the insanely beautiful face. “But I do have this naive hope that you will keep being excited about me for a long time.”

The delirium cleared to make room for the light tremble of the plump bottom lip and large eyes, only a thin line of blue surrounding the wide pupil. Hyungwon’s features were so genuine, every emotion traceable with his fingertips, had Hoseok wanted to. Their skin colours intermingled beautifully. The golden body was completely pressed against his, showing even more how pale his own skin tone was.   
  
_So precious._

Biting down on his lips the beautiful young man stretched out his hands towards him, yearning almost overwhelmingly obvious from the jittery trajectory of the long fingers and affected facial expressions.

“I love you, Hoseok. Please make love to me.”  
  
He felt overwhelmed at the display of emotion, so genuine and raw it seemed invaluable, so precious and fragile. Pushing himself in slowly he leaned in, kissing the soft lips, tenderly, tracing the outlines with his tongue and exhaling harshly.   
  
_Shut up, Hoseok._   
  
He didn’t want to say anything even if he might have felt it. It was scary. Hyungwon had asked him once whether he had meant something he had said while they were having sex and Hoseok didn’t want to say anything that he wasn’t absolutely sure would last until the next morning at least.   
  
_Do you really think it’s because you’re having sex?_   
  
He didn’t know but he also didn’t want to think about it. He left his lips attached to the plump ones, moves more sensual and coordinated. He enjoyed the feeling of being so incredibly close to Hyungwon, as if they were melting and burning down together.   
  
“My reality seems more colorful and intense when you’re next to me.” He couldn’t contain the words, still whispering them against the red mouth, curling his fingers around the straight erection and stroking it coordinated with the thrusts.

“Life seems to have a purpose when I'm with you,” Hyungwon whispered in return, arms curling tightly around his neck and pulling their bodies flush while allowing enough space for the movement of Hoseok’s hand. “I’m close.” 

_This is so cringy, it’s like a novel, Hoseok._

The strokes of the long fingers were tender against his scalp, caressing the skin and leaving burning trails along the touched paths. Hyungwon seemed to feel everything with such intensity, lips parting and spilling moans at each tiny shift of his hips. The reactions were much more fine tuned although the younger had requested rough sex before. It was as if the bodily responses were evoked by the connection of their gazes and the emotionality instead of the sexual pleasure soaring through their bodies.  
  
He was so close himself, pants getting faster and breaths hitting the skin below him repeatedly, emotions mixing with desire and pleasure, tension and release next to each other, rushing along until he almost saw stars, releasing himself but keeping his movements intact.

The hands in his hair tightened as Hyungwon remained rigid, eyes closed and fully focused on the high he was chasing, blood red lips standing in such contrast to the black hair, golden chest remaining still as the younger held his breath, intensity only building up until it finally spilled. The muscles relaxed and the younger man let his weight go, arms falling to the carpet and harsh breaths leaving the pretty mouth, eyes remaining shut.

“It's like a book, this emotional intensity you feel that isn't even yours but that the body manages to mix into a cocktail of hormones. This is fucking crazy,” Hyungwon murmured and let a hand run through his bangs, sweaty from the effort.  
  
Hoseok hummed, forehead pressed against the sweaty shoulder, trying to catch his breath and his composure all at once.   
  
“I said it before and I’ll say it again, the world is indifferent, but you sure as fuck are not.”

  
***

It felt a little unfamiliar to sit in the passenger seat of Hoseok’s Porsche instead of driving it, especially after having been the one at the wheel for the past five times. Not like Hyungwon was actually counting or anything.

After getting dressed and for once cleaning up the office after messing it up, the older man had offered to drive him home. Whether it was Hoseok’s attempt to find out where he lived or just a nice proposal wasn't clear, but as soon as the buildings began to turn greyer and the streets dirtier the discomfort rose in his chest.

_He'll see how differently you live and probably feel like he'll have to support you._

The area alone was already sufficient to understand Namjoon’s constant concern, robberies and assaults with knives a rather common occurrence. Sighing he glanced at Hoseok, attempting to identify whether the change in surroundings had any effect on the older man, dirt and sheer unpleasantness only increasing with each turn.

Hoseok looked unexpectedly calm and collected, listening to the nice female voice of the navigation system and turning into the street he lived in.

“Ehm, that's basically it. Thanks for driving me. Is tomorrow still on?” Hyungwon couldn't help the question, a little worried despite the absolute neutrality on the beautiful face. He brushed over his suit pants and breathed in, collecting his bag from the leg compartment. The older man had always been superb at hiding his emotions, only becoming obvious when their bodies were connected, so it was perfectly possible that he had a negative reaction and hid it.

_If he'd stop dating you because you have no money he would be a first class dick. You know he’s not like that, what the fuck?_

“Here?” The older man pointed at the entrance of the building his flat was located in and smiled. “If you still want to stay over it's still on, yes. I don't think we need to keep up the deal though, just come over when you like.”

Hyungwon smiled, same feeling of warmth that overcame him each time he looked at the man in front of him paired with the desire to embrace him filling out his chest. His fingers began tingling, wishing to touch the older before parting.

_You can finally see him whenever you want, without any agreements._

_Unless he works._

“You sure? You're busy as fuck though. I thought like this I could reserve the weekend for myself.” Hyungwon chuckled and opened the seat belt, licking over his lips shortly at how attractive Hoseok managed to look inside his car, one arm resting loosely on the wheel and legs spread comfortably, eyes dark as always.

“I'm busy, but you happen to be the one who knows exactly what I’m busy doing, so you can coordinate.” The older man put his own address into the navigation. “Just come when you want to, Hyungwon. See you tomorrow, I guess?”

Hyungwon nodded, lifting one leg up on the seat to heighten his position and be able to lean forward, placing one palm on Hoseok’s thigh and the other on the backrest of the driver's seat. Establishing eye contact he closed the distance between them and kissed the curved mouth, sparks bursting in his chest at the sensation and evoking a smile.

“See you tomorrow, Hoseok,” he whispered and returned to his seat, taking his bag properly this time and leaving the car, excitement bubbling in his chest although he was supposed to sleep and be fit to work his ass off the next day.

Running up the stairs the euphoria faded a little and made way for tiredness, body basically wrecked after work and getting fucked on the carpet. Hyungwon sighed and lifted the door up a little to open it with his key and thereby returning the feeling of his double life.

_It’s always the same, isn’t it? Like a dream._

As soon as the tiny space of his shared apartment became visible he was met with typical disorder, random items of clothing littering the coat stand because Namjoon had simply thrown them on top of it. The man himself was propped up against the door frame of the bathroom watching him. There was no book in his hands this time. It was rather disconcerting.

“You good?” Hyungwon asked and took off his shoes, immediately loosening the tie around his neck and breathing properly.

“I thought ‘Paris sugar daddy’ and you meet up on Fridays? Or does he bring you home from work now?” Namjoon’s low voice replied as the elongated eyes focused on his and narrowed a little.

_He's suspicious because the fuckary that is your excuses doesn't make sense._

Hyungwon wasn't quite sure how to reply so he didn't, walking the few meters to the kitchen while stepping over a random stack of physics books and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, emptying it slowly while using the time to think of a reply.

Throwing the empty plastic into their plastic bag with empty bottles hanging on the handle of the kitchen he returned his blue eyes to his friend who remained in place and still stared.

“We officially started dating now, so we see each other more often. He's amazing, Namjoon.” It was a simple excuse but it would have to do for now, truth deeply ingrained into the words and therefore believable.

“When the fuck did you manage this? You were in Germany,” his best friend questioned him and took out a beer as if he expected a longer explanation, sitting down on the floor and brushing through his hair. “Ah, sorry for asking so much. It just seems so crazy because you're never here and working and now suddenly dating and making out in Porsches. Feels a little off so I was just worried that you're pressured into something. Read an article on slavery and it got to my head I guess.”

Hyungwon cracked up, sitting down next to the other man after brushing over the tiles in case there was some residue that could dirty his suit.

_He thinks Hoseok is pressuring you into seeing him._

“If anybody is pressuring anyone it's me, Namjoon,” he replied with a smile and rested his head against the wall, missing the times when he had discussed Hume’s philosophy with Namjoon while leaning against the bathtub because the rest of the apartment had been covered with boxes. Both of them had way too much stuff. “I want him so much, so I'm rather greedy.”

“Well, get him then, tiger. You're good at proving yourself.” Namjoon’s voice was a little softer, squeezing his shoulder shortly before standing up. “I'm glad that you don't worry about what to do with yourself anymore. Looks like you found a place, epic justice for the hardworking. In addition to hopefully more than just first base for your deprived bodily urges.”

_He can bet on that._

“I’m not defeating any villains, I'm just happy I guess.” The smile on his face got brighter and he felt the need to slap himself to get his shit together but didn't, sensation in his chest too pleasant.

“You, you're the villain, pressuring yourself to do something great although you should just go with what feels right.” Gesturing at Hyungwon's form on the ground with an awkward motion that was probably supposed to be smooth. His best friend grinned and disappeared into his room, silence returning.

_Maybe the only thing that had bothered you was your love life and not your future._

Humans were so simple.

_  


Humans would have been simple if they weren't that greedy that is.

_You forgot what it's like to be in love, obsessed and insatiable._

Hyungwon mentally fought with himself to not come up with dumb reasons to see his boss, possibilities rather limited now that the project was finally completed and the organisational tasks were easily taken care of without help.

He would have only seemed incompetent by asking further and requesting aid, especially if it was about organising a damn trip. It was London again, this time for something that was actually related to him, a project he developed. It was basically his baby, baby of competence.

The whole process was exciting and therefore even more in need of professionalism. Hoseok had to see that Hyungwon knew exactly what he was doing.

_He's your boyfriend but you are still working for him. See him when he's not drowning in meetings up to his neck._

Sighing he turned around on his office chair, stretching out his long legs and not getting far with the way his shins hit the desk. He had finished most of his urgent tasks and for everything else he required an overview from Kihyun, which wouldn't have been a problem per se had the finance manager not been in a rotten mood since that argument with Hoseok. The one during which Hyungwon had pretended to be blissfully unaware of whom Hoseok was fucking.

It wasn't anything personal but Hyungwon preferred to stay away from Kihyun during that phase, waiting for him to calm down and get over the fact that his boss was dating a man after breaking up with a woman.

_At least Hoseok himself had difficulties containing his laughter._

After looking at two more hotels he finally gave up, prices blurring before his eyes and convincing him to finally do something else. He left the office through the main door, entering Kihyun’s work space and leaning against the desk with his arms as soon as he was close enough.

“I still need that overview, Shorty.”  
  
“The only thing you need are manners, Barbie.” Kihyun looked up from his desk, long eyes narrowing.

“Seriously though, I took care of everything else,” Hyungwon replied and mustered the finance manager carefully, face more tired than it had been last week and body appearing even smaller than usual. “Are you okay, Kihyun? It's not because of Hoseok is it?”

_Why would he be so stressed just because his boss is dating?_

“They’re both driving me mad. You know how people say it’s hard to balance everything while walking on a rope? So the thing is, I’m the fucking rope, fuck my life.” The short man buried his face in the small palms, exhaling sharply. “But sure, I’ll finish it in an hour or so.”

_He must be really close to them, more so than expected._

“Their relationship isn't your burden though, is it? Maybe it's just not meant to be and you can merely continue being friends with both of them? Meet them separately?” Hyungwon commented and felt immensely unqualified to give advice. The closest to his situation he had ever experienced were two friends that dated and split up later. He hadn't cared too much since they had gotten along well enough to go party together which had been absolutely sufficient for the depth of the friendship. “How long do you know them already, Shorty?”  
  
“Let’s say it like this, I tutored Judith in statistics in university and Hoseok was over at my Birthday since I was five, our families are friends. I introduced Judith to him.” Kihyun sighed and threw his head back, groaning in frustration. “They’re both stubborn, manipulative assholes who can’t lose. It’s probably just a game to them and Hoseok is leading.”

_Manipulative. That's what Hoseok said about you._

“Holy shit, so you basically started it and now you're watching it fall apart. That sounds kind of intense. I'm sorry since they are your friends, Kihyun.” Nodding shortly he glanced at his fingers, playing with them while feeling unable to be genuinely upset. Had Judith not left Hoseok he wouldn't have gotten the job and wouldn't have fallen in love either. “He seems pretty happy though. He doesn't stare into space as much.”

 _Maybe you also wouldn't be fucking your boss while trying to figure out how to make it right._   
  
The long eyes focused on his face, an expression that somehow reminded him of pity gracing the features.   
  
“It had been six years, well actually eight and you will see this crazy shitshow probably every day from now on. And so will I, fuck my life, seriously. This is why you shouldn’t fuck your company, or fuck into the company, I don’t even know how to call it.” The eyes closed shortly and the silence was interrupted by a phone call that Kihyun took while sighing into the phone.

Hyungwon licked over his lips, panic suddenly spiking at the thought that Kihyun knew what was going on, that Hoseok and him were intimate, dating even.

They hadn't been quiet either.

 _But you didn't fuck yourself into the company. It's not about you._   
  
“Yes. Who? You mean Barbie? Yeah, he’s right next to me, I’ll send him over.” Kihyun looked up again, tired smile on the interesting face. “Marketing called, they’re searching for you because they need to revise the campaign and need new pictures or whatever vogue stuff you’re into instead of working.”

_Again?_

“Funny, I only took the pictures last week. Apparently they called Hoseok and asked for me cause I fit the concept or whatever.” Hyungwon rolled his eyes and stroked over his cheek, hoping his skin was nice enough and he hadn't tortured himself by not sleeping much. “Tell him I'm there if he looks for me and don't be too stressed. I'm sure they'll figure it out independent of you, Hamster.”  
  
“Yeah, let’s talk in a week or so, your opinion will probably be different by then,” the other man yelled after him and went back to work.

The call was exactly the distraction he had needed, able to put a little bit of distance between Hoseok and him and thereby easing the tingling in his fingers to touch and talk to the older man. Having a mass of men and women arrange his make-up and pull at his clothes was sure as hell distracting.

The marketing was strategically placed in another building, design just as modern as the main one in addition to slightly brighter wall colours, variations of light blue and green. Fixing his suit although they were going to make him change anyway he knocked at the main office, the place he had been told to go to last time.   
  
He was greeted by a different woman, blonde and panicky eyes looking up and down his body before taking him by the hand and dragging him along the hallway.   
  
“Sorry it’s a little sudden, but we have an emergency as we got a new boss starting next week and she didn’t like the campaign so we have to take new pictures and she also wanted to see you and decide on the concept and I’m really, really sorry for the mess!”

It was rather amusing to be pulled in an unfamiliar direction by an unknown woman but based on his previous experience with the marketing department that was exactly how things worked around there. He chuckled and followed the ruffled woman, reassuring her that it was fine and he had enough time to retake the pictures and please their new boss. He hadn’t really liked the previous concept either if he had been honest.

Too fake.  
  
The stressed woman knocked on a white door and opened it after a sign from the inside. It was a gigantic office, slightly bigger than Hoseok’s and all in white, besides the woman that stood up from the white leather couch, throwing a pile of papers on the glass table and turning towards Hyungwon. She had long black hair, big curls falling down the slim shoulders and a very symmetrical face, plump red lips and dark blue eyes that were staring at him intensely. The equally dark blue dress and light grey high heels fit perfectly into the picture. She was gorgeous and definitely knew how to dress.

_She looks like you if you were french, female and short._

Hyungwon couldn’t help how his eyes widened at the sight for a moment, not expecting to see the reincarnation of female aesthetics to be head of the marketing department. The astonishment was intense enough to be surprised at the sound of the closing door, panicked blonde disappearing in an instant.

“You are simply breathtaking,” he commented with a smile, never keeping in compliments when they were the truth. People never heard them often enough either way and there was no reason to be stingy.  
  
A stunning and absolutely natural smile graced the already beautiful features as a somehow familiar low, sensual voice echoed in the huge space.   
  
“Thank you, so are you, Chae Hyungwon. I’m very pleased that you could take time to come, I know you must be busy, but the previous campaign is bullshit and I need to decide on a concept which seemed easier by looking at the main model in real life. Might be more natural.” A delicate hand supported the words, gesturing and slim but equally curvy body coming closer, supported by clicking sounds of the heels.

The smile on his face remained, only softening at the returning compliment and the fact that the new boss was someone who apparently knew what she wanted. That was always something good for leadership.

“Thank you. To be honest I also felt like it was rather fake in its representation. As a customer I would have felt cheated by the slogan alone.” Hyungwon mustered the beautiful woman further, intrigued by the way she moved and presented herself. It was confident and sure. The only disadvantage that he could identify was the height, impressive heels compensating for what was lacking. Without them the older woman would have probably only reached his chest. “Is there something you would like me to do, Miss?”  
  
The smile widened at his feedback considering the previous campaign and the black-haired woman stopped in front of him, leaving enough distance for professional talk.   
  
“To be honest you just made me curious with your precise judgement, but let’s talk about that later. You can come work for me if Hoseok annoys you.” She grinned like a beautiful, black fox. Tilting the head a little and lifting up on her toes she chewed on the inside of her cheek shortly. ”I see you are indeed a fitting choice, I will have to think about how to portray your features naturally with the goal of the campaign.” After another minute of mustering his face she finally focused the gaze on his.

“First of all, none of the terrible makeup. You have beautiful golden skin and the black blue contrast is mesmerizing, we will leave it like that without interfering much. Second, as the campaign is for development of young professionals I would like you to give your own feedback as your face will be on it. You should feel comfortable with it.” A thin index finger kept playing with a long black curl.

_She’s amazing._

Hyungwon ignored the fact that he could recognize his own habit of chewing his cheek in the older woman’s features and focused on the fact that he had met another professional who was willing to allow him to give his own opinion and put his own thoughts into something.

“I love it,” he replied and licked over his lower lip, biting down and wondering what feedback he would give that was merely professional and removed the emotional aspect that he had already added to his work life. “If you wish we can meet up and discuss further. I am pleasantly surprised by the fact that you would want to. Thank you. However I doubt that Hoseok will bore me, there is quite a bit to do.” Chuckling he brushed a hand through his hair, putting his bangs aside just to let them fall back to his forehead.  
  
“Ah, you’re really handsome, how fortunate.” He was gifted with another smile. “I would let Martina send you the concept so you could give your input too. To be honest I built up this department, so it’s my baby. Hoseok mostly complies if one is doing it right.” A playful smile appeared out of nowhere and the woman walked over to the desk picking up some papers. “I need your consent thought, but you have a couple of days to think about it. I would be delighted to work with you, Hyungwon.” A delicate hand handed him the documents, golden skin tone similar to his and enhanced by the dark blue color of the dress.

“As long as you don’t give me a lecture on Koreans having black hair and that I need to color mine because the concept is natural I doubt that I am going to have any problems or misconceptions,” Hyungwon commented with a laugh and accepted the papers, wondering how the woman knew Hoseok so well. She almost talked like Kihyun, pointing out behavioural patterns and smiling like the older man was a good friend. “You should be modelling yourself.”

_Maybe they are indeed friends._

The blue eyes widened at his comment and a small hand went in front of the insanely symmetrical face, staying there for a couple of seconds.   
  
“I’d like to apologize on behalf of my employees for this comment which was a very racist thing to say. Did you dye your hair because of that? You can choose any hair color as long as it’s not too bright because it wouldn’t fit the concept. I’m sorry again, I’ll have a talk with them, they forgot how to behave like human beings after I’ve been gone for four months.” Another smile and a short wink and the short woman stretched out a hand. “Was really nice meeting you, Hyungwon. You can call me if you have questions, will be nice to talk about something else besides Hoseok.”

_Four months?_

A sudden discomfort spread in Hyungwon’s limbs that he couldn’t quite place yet, like a premonition that had already begun fulfillment and couldn’t be stopped anymore, body only a spectator in what happened.

“I think I’ll keep it like this for a while since I haven’t received any extreme comments yet.” He tilted his head a little and stepped closer to the desk, tongue wetting his lips quickly before he sucked the lower one into his mouth, continuously trying to figure out the unpleasantness that didn’t leave his chest. “May I ask where you have been the past four months? Looks like the department needed you.” He grinned shortly. “Lots.”  
  
The low voice chuckled in reply, something sad painting the features suddenly, emotional and even more influential, creating a response from watching alone.   
  
“Ah, you know the story, I mean- you knew that Hoseok didn’t want to talk to me, this kind of story, but now I’m back. Actually it’s thanks to you that I came by and we could at least settle the stuff with the shares. Thank you so much for that.” The blue eyes focused on his face.

_Judith._

Hyungwon’s chest constricted and he felt like fainting for a short second, eyes wide and air remaining stuck in his throat as he stared at the attractive woman, the one he had told Hoseok to hurt only a week ago.

_They settled it? Settled what?_

“Y-you’re Judith?” he asked quietly, unable to mask the surprise but covering up everything else, emotions remaining in his chest and burning him to the ground from the inside.

_He didn’t tell you. He let her work here again and didn’t tell you a single thing._

Taking a deep breath, forcing his lungs to inhale the air that suddenly tasted like disappointment, he put a smile on his face, brushing through his hair while distracting himself with simple actions.

“I’m glad I could help you guys…” He paused, fighting with his facial features to remain in control and perfectly relaxed. “Figure things out.”  
  
“Oh god, I forgot to introduce myself because I knew who you were, so, I’m sorry, this whole situation is also a little tense so, I’m going to catch up.” Stretching out a hand and smiling at him, the black hair falling softly over the blue dress, the woman in front of him confirmed his suspicion. “I’m Judith, nice to meet you, Hyungwon.” Hesitating a little she added, “Well, we stopped communicating through a lawyer which is nice so I hope everything else will be solved soon too.”

Hyungwon’s mouth hurt from the way he pulled his lips into a smile, keeping it in place as he accepted the delicate hand, almost drowning in his own. For a short second he had considered not taking the petite woman’s fingers, but it had been merely emotional. She hadn’t done anything to him. The only one who hadn’t said anything, allowing them to meet while apparently settling everything on his own was Hoseok.

_Fucking asshole._

Their skin colors were indeed similar, almost fluently transitioning into each other as Hyungwon let go of the tiny fingers, aware that he had been holding them for a little longer than appropriate. Lifting a corner of his mouth he grinned, compensating for mishaps the way he always did. With confidence.

_She almost looks like you._

_No, you look like her._

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Judith. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I won’t be stealing anymore of your valuable time. I’m sure you are busy with starting the campaign from the bottom. I will contact the department next week with my decision.” The words were spoken in a low voice, brain automatically passing through the usual things one was supposed to say in such a situation, ignoring the fact that he was having a mental breakdown on the inside.  
  
“Actually I was supposed to start Monday but my fingers itched.” She laughed and nodded at him. “Thank you so much again, let’s talk soon.”

Lifting his hand in a wave he nodded, grin still in place as he walked out of the office, closing the door behind himself. He wanted to run, but didn’t, aware of the amount of people in the building and how much attention that would have raised, face semi-recognizable while not being part of the actual department. The constricting feeling in his chest only got stronger, paired with the wish to punch Hoseok in the face for basically lying to him about his relationship with his ex-girlfriend.

_They settled things and she works here again while Hoseok apparently thinks it’s a genius idea to tell you that he is going to date you._

The air burned, inhales too fast to be pleasant, fists clenching and unclenching as he couldn’t remember whether Hoseok had any appointments coming up but also not giving a single shit.

_She looks like you, Hyungwon._

He ran past Kihyun’s working space, ignoring the other man and ripping open the dark wooden door to his neighbouring office.  
  
The black-haired man was sitting on the red couch, looking through some documents that looked like a contract, staring at him in surprise at the sudden appearance.   
  
“Everything okay?”

Hyungwon didn’t comment, anger almost exploding at the sight of the older man and how nonchalantly he was sitting on his stupid couch, as if he hadn’t done a single thing wrong. Throwing the door shut behind himself his long legs crossed the distance quickly, fists grabbing the older man’s collar and pulling him towards himself.

“Piece of shit, you lied to me.”

The dark eyes widened, seemingly surprised at the action before two strong hands grabbed his shoulders, not leaving any room for movement. Contract hitting the floor and creating a dull sound.  
  
“I have no idea why you are angry, but sit down like the analytical person you are and explain instead of doing all this unnecessary stuff that won’t be able to give you salvation or explanation.”

Hyungwon had never wanted to see his fist connect with a person’s face as much as he did at that comment, chest rising and falling quickly, muscles tensing despite the request to calm down. He knew that it wouldn’t immediately solve his problem but that didn’t make the fact that Hoseok hadn’t considered it necessary to tell him that his fucking ex-girlfriend was working at the same fucking company any better.

_Maybe he just fucking forgot because he never wants to tell you too much about himself._

“Judith. Why the fuck is she working here? You settled things? I thought you wanted to date me you stupid asshole,” he exclaimed, eyes suddenly burning at the words alone although he was supposed to be angry, fingers shaking around the collar and lips trembling. He wanted to scream in frustration instead. Emotions made him so fucking vulnerable.

 _You are at the office. You can’t._   
  
A spark of understanding appeared in the dark eyes, hold on his shoulders loosening and arms pulling him closer instead, forcing him to place his thighs on the red couch.   
  
“Judith will be the head of the marketing department starting Monday, that’s what she got from me for giving back the shares. That is precisely what we settled. I don’t understand how it’s related to me dating you?” The low voice spoke so calmly that it was almost annoying.

“Because me and your previous lover are working at the same fucking company, Hoseok. Do you have a brain? Doesn’t that seem odd to you?” Hyungwon hissed and bit his lip to not say anything else insulting, body shivering at the boiling emotions, almost like fire under his skin. He wanted to hit something, scream and at the same time attach himself to Hoseok’s chest and be told that everything would be fucking okay.

 _Shit._   
  
Something in the dark gaze changed once again, one had to observe Hoseok’s eyes a lot to know what was going on inside the other man’s head. They gave a better glimpse of the emotional state than everything else did.   
  
“All of it sucks, Hyungwon, in one way or another. Me breaking up with her sucks, her not giving the shares sucks, me dating you sucks because you’re also in my fucking company. Giving her marketing was the best decision with the least damage which was precisely the reason for going with it. Kihyun being in the middle, sucks, but then I’m still here with you on my lap, fuck my life.” Strong arms lifted him up placing him on the couch and the older man stood up, walking towards the door.

Hyungwon wanted to cry, like seriously. The type of crying when you just sit in a corner and donn’t move for a few hours while you emptied every fucking thing that you felt and hoped that it would be gone afterwards. His eyes burned just like the rest of his body, mixture of hurt and anger threatening to overwhelm him. He stood up and ran after the older man, turning him around and jumping up to attach himself to the warm body, unable to help it. Biting down on his lip painfully to numb the emotional cocktail in his head he hit Hoseok’s chest with his fist, head pressed against the warm body and unable to decide what he wanted to do more, be hugged or be able to hurt the other man in return.

“But why didn’t you tell me, Hoseok? Haven’t you thought about how that would make me feel? I met her and had no fucking idea who she is, just to realise she has been your woman before,” he whispered quietly, warm breath dampening the fabric of Hoseok’s shirt. “She still wants you.”  
  
“I know,” Hoseok whispered, looking up to the ceiling and holding his body in place with both arms. “I’m sorry that you’re suffering because of this. I didn’t tell you because you didn’t ask how it went so I considered it the best to leave you out of the mess with Judith.”

“Please tell me things like that. I-” Hyungwon looked up, biting his lip and holding on tighter, watching the expressions on the older man’s face. “I feel betrayed when you do that. Like the young idiot who has no fucking idea what’s going on and doesn’t need to know because all of this is just good fun.” It hurt to say it, eyes burning again as he immediately looked to the ceiling to not be the emotional and weak one, constantly giving up and showing his vulnerability.

_You like him too fucking much._

“You didn’t even tell me that you love me, Hoseok. It’s just-” He couldn’t finish, biting his lip instead and returning his head to the warm chest. There was no point, he couldn’t change that fact anyway and pressuring the older man into saying something he possibly didn’t mean was pathetic. “Nevermind.”

 _You look like her. You even act like her._   
  
The tight hold loosened and the strong arms fell down at the other man’s sides. The gaze turned from emotional and hurt to nothingness in an instant.   
  
“Let me go.”

“No, please don’t leave, Hoseok,” Hyungwon muttered, panic rising at the emptiness that had returned to the surface, fear threatening to suffocate him as he just held on tighter and shook his head furiously. His fingers were clamming at the fabric under them and his legs crossed behind Hoseok’s back, muscles spasming from the strength he used. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I just keep becoming so greedy, I’m sorry. Don’t leave. I won’t say it anymore. Please don’t leave.” His throat closed up as the burning became unbearable, eyes shutting as he attempted to breathe. “Please.”  
  
“You can write a ten point plan on what you want me to say and do so you’ll feel fine and satisfied,” the low voice spoke against his shoulder, emotionless and hard.

“I love you, Hoseok. I don’t know anything beyond that,” Hyungwon whispered, desperately pressing his lips to the firm neck, terrified of letting go and being unable to return the older man. “Please forgive me. I just got so scared. She’s so beautiful.”  
  
“I didn’t think about Judith even for a second although you’re continuously mentioning her. I’m just concentrating on not being hurt by all this.” The voice was so quiet suddenly, the black-haired man returned the fingers that curled around his thighs.

_You’re being selfish. He keeps trying to give himself and you just want more._

_He even apologized already, you asshole._

Hyungwon immediately stroked over the black hair, fingers intertwining with the strands and pulling himself closer, placing a soft kiss to the curved mouth.

“I’m sorry, shit, I am so sorry, Hoseok. Something short-circuited, I just felt like I was the only one who didn’t know anything, meeting her and talking to her until she told me who she is. I-” Hyungwon paused again, not sure whether he should speak or not, painful thought repeating continuously as if it wasn’t going to stop until he said it. ”I know it sounds weird, but her and me- we are so similar in so many ways.“  
  
The dark gaze focused on his eyes, piercing through him like a knife, fingers tightening around the tensed muscles.   
  
“What is it that you’re trying to tell me?”

“Rationally I know it’s stupid but my brain keeps telling me that it doesn’t seem like a coincidence.” Licking over his lips Hyungwon hid his face, unable to deal with the older man’s intensity, chest burning up. ”I know it’s dumb but that’s just how it felt. I’m sorry. I’ll try to get my shit together and not make your life hard, fuck.”  
  
“It wasn’t a coincidence. I felt empty and indifferent and you came, drying my hair, bickering with me and massaging my shoulders, Hyungwon.” The voice sounded hurt.

“I’m an idiot, Hoseok. This is just all so new for me,” Hyungwon whispered, leaning in such that he could see the beautiful face, cupping it with his palms and kissing the curved mouth, cheeks, nose and finally each eye. “I really love you. I’m sorry for hurting you.”  
  
The intensity faded from the almost black eyes, raw sadness occupying everything in the other man’s face.   
  
“You said you always get what you want. I guess you’re not used to getting something and then realizing that it’s not quite what you imagined.”

_At this point you don’t even know what you want apart from him._

“I didn’t imagine anything, Hoseok. I threw myself into this because I never wanted to be with anybody as much as with you.” Hyungwon kissed the curved mouth again, fear mixing with the warmth that the older man was able to evoke in his chest with his presence alone. “I’m happy when I’m with you, so much it feels like my chest is on fire. Teach me how to make you happy in return, I want to be the one to make you happy too.”  
  
The other man didn’t say anything, just quietly breathing against his shoulder, hands travelling up his back and curling around his waist. It felt good, like Hoseok was able to give him strength, supporting the whirlwind inside his head and body. He barely refrained from crying in the older man’s arms like a child and just melted into the way it felt instead, stroking over the soft hair and shoulders, placing kisses to each inch of skin he could find. Hyungwon had been in love before, more than once, but none of it had ever felt as unattainable and graspable at the same time.

_It is like a kiss after a slap, but you are addicted._

“I love you so much that I keep trying to come up with reasons to see you like an idiot, although you have work,” he whispered into the sweet jutting ear, drowning himself in the feeling of being held now that it had returned. “I always want you, it’s crazy.”  
  
“Just stay,” the low voice barely whispered.

_You can’t do anything else._

“I will, Hoseok. I’m yours.”  
  
“No, you’re not.” The arms pulled him down, the black-haired man escaping out of the tight embrace and closing the distance to his desk in an instant, staring at the door.   
  
“I heard Judith came.” Kihyun came in without knocking, glancing at Hoseok’s face before the expression slid into nirvana. “Oh no, is it that bad?"

Hyungwon’s eyes widened at the unexpected appearance, brain completely unaware of sounds outside the office and the fact that the finance manager had been on his way.

_He could have found you out immediately had Hoseok not reacted._

Controlling his facial features Hyungwon threw himself on the couch to appear like his usual self, hoping there wasn’t too much color in his face from his emotional breakdown, face feeling hot.

“I met her at marketing. She’s really beautiful.”  
  
“She is,” Kihyun replied while mustering Hoseok’s face intently. “And smart,” he added.   
  
The black-haired man was sitting at his desk, clicking something with his mouse before his gaze settled on Kihyun.   
  
“Yes, she already talked to Hyungwon, but I haven't seen her yet. I have stuff to do, let’s talk later.”   
  
The shorter man lifted an eyebrow before biting down his lower lip and walking towards the door, turning around once.   
  
“You look hurt as fuck, Hoseok. I told you it’s a bad idea, argh.” Kihyun cursed and disappeared behind the wooden door. Hyungwon swallowed at the sound, looking up and chewing on his cheek, guilt seeping through the thick layer of adrenaline.

_It’s you. You hurt him._

_You really are just like her, aren’t you?_

Hoseok exhaled sharply and placed his arms on the desk, resting his head on top of it, staring into nothing.

“That was tight,” Hyungwon muttered eventually, too afraid to address the fact that Hoseok was obviously still hurt by his words, constantly demanding something from him although the older had told him from the start that he couldn’t just give himself just like that.

_Idiot, you should set it straight for yourself, so you don’t hurt him anymore._

“May I ask you something honestly, Hoseok? Just so I know what to expect and can prepare myself for it?” He was still chewing his cheek, body resting on the red couch as his eyes watched the way Hoseok lay on the wooden surface.  
  
The older man hummed, still remaining in the same position, black bangs falling over the pale skin of the muscular arms.

It didn’t feel intimate enough, too far for the question he wanted to ask, so Hyungwon stood up and crossed the room, placing a palm on Hoseok’s back, warm under his fingertips.

“How do you feel about Judith now?” he whispered, caressing the older man’s shoulders and sliding along the spine, unwilling to part.  
  
“Now? Now I feel as if you’re able to hurt me more than her.” The words left the curved lips and Hoseok stood up, walking towards the door. “See you later, Hyungwon.”

He should have felt happy at the fact that he had finally managed to affect the older man, to evoke emotions on the beautiful face and make him feel more than the woman that Hoseok had loved for the past six years, but he wasn’t, body frozen in place and desire to return to a few months back almost overwhelming.

_You should have thought about this before falling in love with someone you cannot have._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 17th of May at 2 PM CET.
> 
> It gets more complex, look forward to the next chapter where a lot of things will happen.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Want to know something no-one else knows?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the story about the three little pigs if you don't know it :D

Leaning over the iron railing Hoseok breathed in the moist air hitting his face. The Seine was a good place to think, patterns becoming clearer and emotions organized and recognizable. 

_ How do you surround yourself with people who constantly think you're not enough in one way or the other?  _

He closed his eyes, breeze tickling his skin and detectable through the fine movement of his eyelashes. He had wanted to put space between them after Hyungwon had mentioned the fact that he didn't reciprocate his feelings verbally, but the young man didn't let him, attaching himself and breathing apologies against his skin. 

_ He won't let you be distant, how are you supposed to not be hurt like this?  _

Hoseok felt so incredibly sad at the other man's words. After telling Hyungwon that it was a whole mess and that he couldn't promise him to give everything the other wanted, Hyungwon kept throwing demands at him. It seemed as if the whole conversation didn't matter anymore. 

_ It is always the same, isn't it? _

Rationally he had known that the thinking pattern resulted from his experience with Judith alone, but it didn't stop it from occupying his mind, telling him he would be forced to leave a person he loved once again sooner or later. 

_ You love and then you have to leave because they keep wanting things you told them they can't have.  _

Pushing his hands against the iron, he leaned back, stepping aside and walking into the direction of the parked car. No matter what Hyungwon had said, he still wanted to see him, to hold him, to be close, breathing in the lilac scent while the black hair tickled his pale skin. 

_ You're already too close if a sentence can stab you in the lungs.  _

_ Why are you letting him? _

The reflections on the water turned more defined, darkness spreading over the city, painting the streets in a warm yellow. 

The ride was fast and he stepped out of the car, walking up the stairs and glancing at his phone once, just to see a dozen of missed calls. Running up the rest of the stairs towards his apartment he stopped in front of the door. 

He was met with the sight of a person, sitting on the floor in a dark blue suit, tailored to the slim body and not caring whether it got dirty, back leaned against his door and head thrown back. The shimmering golden skin of the bared neck was already giving out that it was Hyungwon.

The younger man had one knee pulled to his chest as the other leg lay stretched out fully, long and slim. The black hair appeared almost blue against the white laque colour of the wooden door. As soon as Hoseok stopped at the edge of the stairs the beautiful blue eyes met his, plump lips red.

“Why are you sitting here? I would've called you after coming back.” Hoseok pulled the key out of his suit pants and closed the distance, crouching down to be on eye level. 

Hyungwon hesitated, lips parting but no sound coming out before he sighed and placed both palms next to his hips on the ground. 

“I was afraid that I wouldn't see you anymore so I came. The area is pretty. I forgot that even the metro station looks decent.” Hyungwon chuckled lowly, producing a quiet scratching noise with the way he brushed his knuckles over the cold ground. 

Something in his chest constricted at the sound, lungs pausing their movements. His hand went to the beautiful face, cupping the round chin and lifting it up a little. He leaned in, kissing the plump lips softly, before moving back a couple of centimetres only. 

“I missed you.”

A sweet smile passed over the beautiful mouth but the big eyes remained as emotional and worried as they had been, focusing on his. Hyungwon swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing visibly at the action as he lifted an arm and curled it around Hoseok’s shoulders. 

“I missed you too. Please forgive me. I won't be like this anymore. I promise.”

“Let's go inside,” Hoseok replied and opened the door, waiting for Hyungwon to stand up. The younger man did, grabbing onto Hoseok’s thigh and using it for leverage as he pulled himself to his feet, face still rather insecure compared to his teasing nature. 

Walking inside, Hoseok took off his shoes and moved towards the bedroom, pulling the shirt over his head and unzipping the pants. 

Hyungwon followed, big eyes sliding over his muscular body as the younger man rested his back against the door frame. 

“Do you always change when you get home? I usually don't bother until I actually go to bed, the tie being an exception because that stuff is more constricting than tight jeans.”

“I'm not changing, I'm going to take a shower.” He paused, standing and watching Hyungwon’s face, fingers already in the waistband of his pants and half naked. “Do you want to come with me? I want to do everything together with you today.” 

A corner of the pretty mouth lifted, hinting at a grin as the blue eyed man loosened his tie and removed each article of clothing with quick hands, not at all comparable to how he had slid them down his skin in Hoseok’s office before. Removing the underwear just as quickly Hyungwon returned to his spot against the door frame, eyebrow raised.

“And what are all those things you want to do with me, Mister?” The grin returned to the handsome features with each word that left the plump lips. 

“You're a naive, horny twenty-year-old, but it's fine.” Hoseok grinned back and got rid of his pants and underwear, pulling out a black towel and throwing it at Hyungwon without warning. 

The younger peeled it off his face and rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not horny, I'm healthy. A small but important difference, old man,” Hyungwon remarked and pushed himself off the door, moving towards the bathroom. “We could take a bath together. I've never lived in an apartment with a tub so it's kind of awesome.”

“Even better as it's for two people, actually,” Hoseok commented and opened the valve, hot water flowing inside the huge tub. Turning around he curled his arms around the slim body. 

“Now you just need to tell me you have bubble bath and you have won my heart,” Hyungwon said cheerfully and hugged back, head resting on Hoseok’s shoulder and knees a tiny bit bent. Placing a soft kiss against his pale skin the younger lifted the luscious lips to his ear. “Although it's already yours.”

“I want to be close to you, I really do,” Hoseok whispered, fingers digging into the sides of the slim waist he hugged with both arms. There was no reply as the golden body tightened around him and pulled him closer, warm breath tickling his neck. “It just hurts.” Whispering the last words he placed a kiss against the plump lips and turned around to check the water, emotions way too overwhelming to show.

“Why? Explain it to me so I don't do it again. You always tell me how important constructive feedback is.” He could feel Hyungwon's eyes staring at his back, younger man not moving away from the spot next to the bathtub where Hoseok had left him. “Help me.”

“It's nothing specific, I guess if one is emotionally involved it's the whole package. I have the feeling you want something I don't have.” He turned off the water and poured the light blue bath liquid into the tub. Climbing inside he hissed at the temperature, but adjusted quickly, leaving space on the other side for Hyungwon to sit comfortably. “Get in.”

Hyungwon didn't, staring at the colour of the water and appearing in thought, chewing on his cheek as he tended to do. 

“Rationally I know that. Also rationally I am fully satisfied with what you are giving me because that is more than I would have ever hoped for,” the younger man began and sat down at the edge of the tub, legs facing away from Hoseok. “But emotionally I just keep wanting more I guess. I'll try not to, I know I shouldn't. Seeing Judith just made it more obvious.”

A smile passed over the concerned features suddenly as if Hyungwon purposefully thought of something else, crossing his legs demonstratively and bending his body further back towards the tub, hand elegantly pretending to be holding a glass of wine. 

“Now we just need to be all fancy and drink wine while discussing the fact that psychoanalysis was nice to start off the idea of the subconscious but that Freud himself was a poor soul with blue balls.”

“You're probably like this because you don't know what's in my head.” He took Hyungwon’s wrist and pulled the slim body into the tub, water splashing everywhere.

The younger man coughed, glaring at him as the long fingers smoothened the black hair, brushing loose strands to the back. 

“Well, you're not one to show your emotions much unless you're balls deep inside of me.” Resting his head against the tub edge Hyungwon closed his eyes, inhaling the aroma of the fragrance and exhaling slowly, muscles visibly relaxing. “This is amazing.” 

“I'm also thinking about what to say and what not to say when I'm balls deep inside you. Because you deserve to have a proper representation of what's going on. You have no idea what kind of verbal diarrhoea it would be if I didn't monitor.” Hoseok intertwined his legs with the long slim ones. 

“I wish I had an idea though.” The blue eyes opened, settling on him. “Don't you think your verbal diarrhoea is a genuine representation of how you feel? Sure, later on you can think ‘what the fuck? I shouldn't be like this’, but at that exact moment the words would be the truth, wouldn't they?”

“But then there'll be you asking me afterwards whether I meant it, am I right?” He smiled at the beautiful man who seemed even more ethereal with water drops shimmering on the golden skin. 

Hyungwon lifted his head roughly, black strands falling forward and covering his forehead, deep colour adding intensity to the blue orbs. Realizing his mistake the younger man bit down on his lower lip, not answering for a while.

“But what if it's fine to admit to an emotional outburst, something you weren't able to do while we were in Israel? It was there even when you didn't touch me and still you pretended it wasn't.” Breathing in, Hyungwon moved closer, curling his arms around Hoseok’s waist. “I would prefer it if you were honest with me at all stages, be it the rational or the emotional one. Why would admitting to concerns despite feelings be a problem?”

_ Because he'll just say that you're his and it won't change, ever.  _

“You told me in Israel that I shouldn't be doing it, being next to you and using you although I'm your superior and I thought about it, thinking it was the right decision, not saying anything and trying to be rational. You see how well that worked.” Hoseok curled his arms around the slim shoulders, pressing the thin body closer. “You're telling me you're fine with everything but then you're also a liar.”

“Of course I am. Saying the truth could mean losing what I already have,” Hyungwon whispered, pressing his lips to the pale skin of Hoseok’s collar bone. “I thought so too, that being with my boss is like a bad romantic comedy, dependency relationship just waiting to fuck us over.” The low voice gained depth, emotions lacing in although the younger visibly tried not to, rational conversation apparently the goal. “But I still want you. The pro and contra list that I never bothered to write tells me to go fuck myself basically.”

“It's truth or dare time, Hyungwon. What do you want from me?” He breathed against the wet skin, gaze settling on the handsome face.

“You want to hear it all? I didn't even choose truth yet.” Hyungwon lifted his head enough to look at him, warm water adding blush to the golden skin. 

“You want dare? I'd make you wear a leather harness and pull it while you sit down on me.” Hoseok grinned at the man who was basically lying on top of him. 

“Shit, that's tempting.” Hyungwon smirked back and crawled on top of him, thighs resting on each side of his muscular body as palms cupped his face, slim man on top of him only partially covered in water. “But why is it me choosing and not you? Maybe I also want to know the truth.” 

“Because I'm so experienced I could rationalize every answer of mine as the truth, except if you ask the right question.” Hoseok let his index finger travel along the golden skin of Hyungwon’s neck, lifting the round chin up. 

“So you assume that I will not know the right question because I'm inexperienced? Dating one person over six years isn't necessarily experience. People are different and as a psychologist you should know that best.” Licking over Hoseok’s hand the younger man freed his chin, fierceness returning to the expressive blue eyes. “You learned how to act with one person, but that might mean nothing for another.”

“You're so cute it hurts.” He grinned. “You not being able to ask the right question is not because of your lack of experience. It's because you don't know me.” 

“But I want to know you. We have already spent so much time together, discussing topics that I haven't even discussed with close friends, but still you tell me that I don't know you.” Exhaling harshly white teeth settled on the red lips. “Are you afraid to open up to me, Hoseok?”

He sighed and stroked over the plump red mouth, letting the features sink in, aesthetics overwhelming although he hadn't cared much before. 

“I'm not afraid. It hurts when you're too close.”

The blue eyes widened, thumb brushing over Hoseok’s cheek and stroking over the pale skin tenderly as the beautiful man got closer, each exhale caressing his lips. 

“Are you trying to stay away from me because you are afraid to commit again?”

“I don't give a shit about commitment because it means nothing, apparently. I'm trying to keep some distance so it will hurt less.” He closed his eyes, breathing in the herbal scent. “But you won't let me.”

“That's what I meant, Hoseok. Because you have gotten hurt you don't want to let me get closer, to turn into someone who is able to hurt you.” The low voice turned softer, smooth mouth covering his skin in small warm kisses. “But do you really wanna live like that? Keeping everyone away just to not get hurt? By doing that the hurt is not the only thing you lose, it could also be affection and happiness, understanding. No one can promise you that you won't get hurt, but isn't a categorical avoidance too drastic?”

Hyungwon continued touching him, lips and fingertips travelling along his wet skin, hot to the touch despite the fact that both of them were surrounded by water.

“Thank you for this Ted talk, emo Einstein. Don't you know euphoria? There's always balance in emotions. I'm a person after a major break up, I just prefer not to get stabbed in the lungs by emotional demands I can't fulfil instead of throwing myself all over you, telling you how much I love you and celebrating my newly won affection. Because it'll get back at me. And at you.” Hoseok tightened his fingers on the slim waist, before realizing and loosening the grip immediately, emotions overflowing although they shouldn't have. Not now.

The blue eyes widened again, heart beat of the younger man almost traceable with his fingertips as he bit his lip and appeared to calm down again.

“You wanted to know the truth, didn't you? Get the possible demands out of the way so that we're on the same page and you can continue switching between ambivalence and euphoria without getting hurt.” Hyungwon inhaled loudly, voice just as emotional as Hoseok felt and long fingers covering his, fitting into the spaces and pressing them closer to his waist. 

“I love you and of course I want you to love me too. It would be unnatural not to.” The fingers squeezed his, blue eyes intense. “However, I prefer to have what we have now, even if you don't love me as long as there is some kind of affection you feel for me, Hoseok. The only thing that could make me leave you would be you using me as a replacement for someone else or being with me just to fuck me.”

_ You're like two trees communicating with each other.  _

“It's either you, having no idea what I'm talking about, or me. Let's stop, it makes me want to punch a wall.” He exhaled loudly and closed his eyes for a short moment before opening them. “So how did you meet Judith?”

Hyungwon groaned in frustration, thighs tightening shortly and hands scratching over Hoseok’s arms. 

“I'm not done talking, Hoseok. I'm just fucking terrified of asking you whether you love me because I'm too damn invested in this. You just said it but I'm a fucking chicken.” The frustration just increased as the younger man squeezed Hoseok’s shoulders and pressed their bodies together. “How can you be sure that you can't fulfil my emotional demands or that they are even there? Maybe it's the same for you but I just can't fucking hide anything when I'm emotional.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You wanted a thousand things from me today, just to calm the fuck down, not giving a shit about my emotional state. I can't fulfil your demands because they never stay the same, they get bigger and more.” He narrowed his gaze, eyes piercing through the blue ones, not shifting the focus.

“I was emotional and panicked. We just talked about the fact that it doesn't have to be the rational truth. But even if, isn't it the same for you, Hoseok? Don't you want things?” Hyungwon held the gaze, fingers intertwining with his and holding both close to his chest. “Don't you want more of me the longer we are together? Or are you trying not to in order to avoid getting hurt?”

“Let's get out,” Hoseok breathed, warm water and body sending his senses on overdrive in addition to the emotionally straining questions Hyungwon kept piercing him with, instead of answering the one question Hoseok had asked in the beginning.

_ It's a behavioural type.  _

“I want you, Hoseok. That's the only thing I want, but I feel like you are afraid to give it, showing me glimpses but not allowing me to see the whole picture. The only reason I want more is because it's like operant conditioning. I get a little something and then I begin thinking about what I did to receive it, striving to see it again, drowning in it. But the sheer fact that I saw it makes you uncomfortable, shutting it off just to show a little bit again, throwing me off track and making me desire more. You never clearly said ‘yes’ or ‘no’ except when you began dating me, Hoseok.” The beautiful man stood up, water running down the golden skin and accompanying his words with each drop that landed in the tub. “That's why I don't know what I'm allowed to expect because constantly there is a little more thrown my way like a tease for what I could have.”

Hoseok frowned at him, also standing up until they faced each other. 

“Expectations are one thing, wanting something another. I didn't ask you for your expectations because it's something that will change, I asked you what the fuck you want.”

“I- I don't know, Hoseok.” Hyungwon looked insecure, lips pulling together and blush remaining on his cheeks, even in the cold air outside the hot water. The younger man looked scared. “I don't know what you are expecting of me and- and what I am supposed to say. I would answer and tell you the truth, I would, but I don't know. I only know that I want you.” Chewing on his lower lip the golden hands showed the desire to touch him, but didn't in the end, hesitation present not only bodily but also mentally. A few more moments passed again before Hyungwon spoke.    


“Aren't expectations with a positive outcome the things that one wants?”

“Do you know what I want?” Hoseok narrowed his gaze further, leaning in closer towards the other man's face. 

The beautiful man shook his head, emotions exploding on the delicate features, lower lip trembling. 

“To not be hurt anymore?”

“Fucking wrong,” he hissed tilting his head to the left. “What you want are not fulfilled expectations, it's a conclusion you make for yourself after balancing all the consequences. That's what it means to really want something.” 

“You mean that although your past lover works at the same place, you might have lingering affection for her, I am not allowed to let anyone find out about us and the fact that you can't promise me anything I decide to be with you? Consciously, while remaining aware of all the repercussions but deciding to accept them.” The younger man swallowed, lips still trembling with emotionality. “Despite everything?”

“Maybe, and now tell me what I want.”

The blue eyes remained on his, fuelling the same intensity that their interactions harboured, bodies close but not quite touching.

“Me.” 

There was silence, only the sound of a few drops hitting the now empty tub echoing in the room.

“Because despite getting hurt and everything else you are still here, in front of me.” Hyungwon's whisper was almost silent, sounds soft and the movement of the plump lips more of an indication that the younger man had spoken than the words themselves.

Hoseok froze in place for a second before he curled both arms around the slim waist, skin getting cold from standing in the cool bathroom. 

“Almost. I want to get hurt some more.”

Not even a second passed before the plump lips attached to his curved ones, distance melting away just as the warmth of the younger man’s body melted into his. The long fingers travelled into his hair, pulling at it as if Hyungwon desired to have him closer, to hold onto something, retain a grip while blurring what segregated them. 

_ You need him, like air.  _

“I want you too, Hyungwon, I really do,” Hoseok breathed against the wet skin, kissing every spot he could find, melting into the touch, so emotional instead of sexually pleasing.

The younger man's actions were only fuelled by the words, warm tongue licking over his wet lips, emotionally loaded words leaving them without a break, confessions, the desire to be close, vague descriptions of perceptions. The mixture was overwhelming, Hyungwon giving himself with limitless recklessness, genuine expression of feelings overflowing. 

_ If there's someone you'd let yourself be burned down by emotions with, it'd probably be him, right? _

“I love you, Hoseok. I love you so fucking much that it doesn’t matter that she works there. She wants me to model for her and I will because it’s not about you and me,” Hyungwon muttered, burying his face in Hoseok’s neck and exhaling against the wet skin, cold sensation returning through the additional current of air.

“I don't know how you went from loving me to modelling for my ex, but we'll freeze like that. Let's get out.” He chuckled and stepped out first, tying a towel around his hips and spreading the second one, waiting for the tall man to come out of the tub.

“Well, that was kind of the beginning of our argument, since you hadn’t told me and she expects an answer next week so I started thinking about it, remembering that I would be seeing her a lot in the future,” Hyungwon replied, shrugging and carefully stepping out of the tub, curling himself up in the prepared towel. Smiling the younger man turned towards him, brushing a black strand back with long fingers. “Would you like me to dry your hair?”  
  
“Yes, I would like you to,” he replied, grinning at the beautiful figure in front of him, not only showing every emotion there was but also evoking them, one after the other by simply moving around him, talking to him, or looking into his eyes, standing up to his gaze not many people were able to withstand. “Want to hear a funny story? When Judith was here she had wanted to make me jealous so she told me to introduce her to you and I just told her that you’re mine.” Hoseok grinned. “And then she saw the marks and I told her that I was dating although we weren’t dating back then. I’m becoming a liar because of you.”

“You what?” Hyungwon’s eyes widened as soon as they re-appeared below the black towel that the younger man used to dry his hair with, stopping the motions to merely stare at him incredulously. “You’re a sneaky bitch. Wow, saying we’re dating when I was basically begging you for it and you didn’t say yes yet. You’re really impressive at hiding your emotions, you should act.” 

Biting down on his lower lip Hyungwon appeared curious suddenly, black hair fluffed up and looking a little funny. “But- how did she react? When I talked to her she seemed relatively positive about the outcome of your meeting despite being hurt.”    
  
_ Because she’s so self confident that it makes her a little delusional. _ __   
__   
“You see, every person acts on a basis and interaction of situation, character and experience. You have seen her, she’s simply gorgeous, she’s smart and she’s extremely skilled and able to learn fast, adapting and making traits a part of her personality in an instant. An impressive human. Either way, it also has negative sides, she always got what she wanted before, she didn’t with me and she can’t accept it. She still can’t imagine that I won’t come back.” 

He sighed and walked over to the mirror, applying lotion on the sensitive skin.

“I mean, objectively seen it’s true, a lot of people would say that I’m crazy, but I think differently.” He turned around to face Hyungwon. “I like her a lot, I really do, me and her are very similar and still so so different, but there was a reason for being together for such a long time. It’s sad and it hurts. To be honest I didn’t talk about this with anybody yet.”

“What hurt you the most, Hoseok?” Hyungwon asked carefully, taking the lotion from his hands and pouring some on his own, applying it on the muscular back smoothly, fingers almost dancing over the pale skin. “Because she knew from the beginning that you didn’t want children but believed that you would change your opinion?” He couldn’t see the younger man’s face, hidden from view behind his back, mirror only showing the golden skin and slim arms sliding over his body.   
  
“I guess because my relationship with her had always been enough for me. I didn’t want anymore, I was satisfied and happy. Sure we fought and everything else, but in general, in a nutshell, she was everything I’d ever needed and it never changed. It was her who did and it seemed like a betrayal to me. She didn’t leave because she wanted kids and I didn’t, she left knowing that I love her so much that I might reconsider and she’d get what she wants.” He looked up to the ceiling, memories so painful that it evoked a bodily reaction.    
  
_ You promised no crying because of this. There was none and there will be none. Ever. _

Soft fingers dug into the muscles of his shoulders, travelling downwards along his spine and tracing the lines of his hips, only to return, pressing down lightly, in condolescence.

“What if she felt the same way about children as we feel about each other now, willing to make sacrifices because the value of that one thing beats everything else, gaining importance with passing time,” Hyungwon replied calmly, adding more lotion to his hands and kneeling down, stroking downwards from Hoseok’s thigh to his calves, motions tender. “Do you think that even if she hadn’t tried to influence you by leaving she could have been happy in the end? Without children?”   
  
“Is that the question though? I mean it’s of course something one could ask, but imagine standing in the hallway of our company and then Kihyun comes out of nowhere and slaps you across your handsome face. Would it make a difference for you whether he did it because he was unhappy or because he just wanted to see you suffer? You are still the slapped one standing in the hallway like an idiot.” He turned around and ripped the lotion out of the big hand, squeezing some onto his palm and sliding the fingers over the golden skin of Hyungwon’s chest. 

The black-haired man hissed at the unexpected sensation, eyes widening a little before he placed his palms on his knees, having finished taking care of Hoseok’s skin while still sitting on the ground.

“I understand that it must still hurt. I am just trying to comprehend what motivated her despite loving you so much. I can’t understand how she could have begun a relationship with the hope that something would change. Did she? Or was it rather that the desire to have children became unbearable? Maybe she was scared herself by the change,” Hyungwon contemplated and Hoseok could hear how the younger man’s breath hitched at the way his hands slid along the lean chest and abdomen. “I don’t think I could ever leave just like that unless I fall in love with someone else. I see the point in bodily manipulation but the emotional one is just dirty.”   
  
“Well, we all are manipulative in one way or the other, the question is just the consciousness of it and the scale. I don’t think you started dating me without any hope for change. If you really think that, then you’re very obviously lying to yourself. Everybody does and we do change, don’t we? It’s just important to understand that some things might not change. Ever.” Hoseok sunk to his knees, stroking the smooth skin, even more beautiful after the long bath, lotion shimmering in the dimmed lights.

“But how are we supposed to know what will change and what won’t? Most men don’t want children at a young age but change their minds after thirty. Or they change their minds with a different woman.” The pink tongue licked over the plump lips as Hyungwon placed his palms on Hoseok’s thighs instead, resting his weight on them, body moving forward and brushing their noses against each other softly.   
  
_ Tell him. It’ll be okay if it’s him. _   
  
“Want to know something no-one else knows?” he asked, spreading the liquid over his back, hugging the slim body in the process.

The beautiful man nodded, eyes watching him intently while the body easily reacted to Hoseok’s ministrations.   
  
“I can’t have children, even if I decide that I want them. I had a vasectomy a couple of years ago, scared that I might make a decision based on the fact that it was something that Judith wanted, although it had been pretty clear for me from the start. I never regretted it.”

Hyungwon’s large eyes took up even more space on the beautiful face, mouth opening but no response coming out as he seemed genuinely shocked at the revelation, only small shivers still passing through his thighs at the way Hoseok’s hands travelled over his soft skin.

“You didn’t tell her? Oh my god, what if she had given up?” the younger man asked, stroking over his broad shoulders and firm chest subconsciously, squeezing in irregular intervals. “Didn’t it hurt?”   
  
“No, it didn’t. And yes I didn’t tell her. It might have been a mistake but then it’s my body and I told her from the start that I don’t want kids. Just that she still thinks that I might reconsider. I guess I will have to tell her some day so she can move on.” He sighed and removed his hands, standing up and pulling Hyungwon up with himself. “Isn’t it sad how people can’t accept a decision only because there is a theoretical possibility that the person might reconsider?”

“You are impressive, Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered and sat down on the bed, stretching out his left leg and pointing at the lotion, obviously enjoying the way Hoseok had applied it for him before and wanting him to continue, absolutely smooth skin on display. “I don’t think I would have been able to take away a possibility for myself based on a current belief, even if it was a strong one. It just seems so scary to take something away from myself in twenty or even thirty years.”

The slim hips shifted on the bed, holding the leg up a little higher and biting down on the plump lower lip, thoughts easily visible on the expressive face.

“It seems sad that a perfectly working relationship can fall apart because of something like this. I somehow naively believed that everything could be talked about, solved by combined effort but it seems like some things just cannot be talked away, remaining until they break everything to pieces,” Hyungwon murmured quietly, hands holding onto the soft blanket. “Finding out after six years hurts. Do you feel like you wasted them on her?”   
  
Applying the lotion on the lean calf, Hoseok looked up in surprise.   
  
“No. I would never say or think that. I learned so much, I changed, I became the person I am now and I was very, very happy. I just- I guess I need more distance to be able to move on properly but it takes time. I’m glad that you’re with me although it probably hurts,” he whispered and kissed the smooth skin by lifting it against his lips.

A smile spread the plump lips, appearing almost slim with the way the large eyes turned into crescents simultaneously. 

“I’m happy to be with you, Hoseok. You can’t even imagine how much,” the soft voice replied and the younger man switched the leg, revealing the delicate Psi tattoo on his hip, black against the golden skin. “Would you like me to tell you a funny, or rather embarrassing story in return?”   
  
Nodding slowly Hoseok let his gaze travel along the long leg, tracing the flexed muscles with his fingers until he reached the hip and moved back down.

“When I met Judith I obviously had no fucking idea who she was, so I was just being myself and complimenting her because she is gorgeous and she looked really sweet getting on her tiptoes to check my face and figure out to see whether I fit the campaign.” Chuckling softly Hyungwon put a large palm over his eyes, funnily enough appearing genuinely embarrassed by what he was about to say. “But when she told me who she was my brain kinda short-circuited so I ended up mumbling and holding her hand for way too long. Fuck my life. I just grinned cause that’s how I overcompensate so now she probably thinks I was semi flirting with her.”   
  
He laughed out loud throwing his head back, imagining how the gorgeous woman must’ve thought his assistant was flirting with her although he was actually dating her ex husband.    
  
“You’re very handsome, if you weren’t gay she might have gotten you. She’s skilled.” Hoseok smirked and leaned in, placing a soft kiss over the tattoo on the hip. “Either way, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I have to be honest, it’s hard for me to keep track of another person’s thoughts and feelings again. I kind of tried to get rid of that for the past four months.”

“It’s okay, we’ll make baby steps,” Hyungwon said with a chuckle and walked up Hoseok’s chest with his index and middle finger. “How do you know I’m completely gay though? I’m not that obvious.”    
  
_ Oh come on. _ __   
__   
“My company is full of beautiful women. Your lack of interest is mesmerizing.” Hoseok laughed out loud, before catching the long fingers with his hand. “Judith is very powerful though,” he commented with a grin.

“Who knows, maybe you were just hotter than all those women,” the beautiful man remarked with a wink and licked over his lips. “Although I guess me taking you to a gay club was also not very subtle.”

The bright grin remained on the pretty face as a sudden spark of curiosity appeared in the blue eyes and Hyungwon pulled Hoseok between his legs, arms curling around his hips. 

“Now that we are actually talking about this, what is the difference between sleeping with a woman and a man for you? I’m curious. I’ve never even bothered to kiss a woman, at least not with tongue or anything.”   
  
“The dynamics I guess, the body is different, so reactions are too, the way of pleasuring, a lot of things. But people are different, that’s what makes it fun.” Leaning in he caught the plump bottom lip with his teeth, nibbling on it and licking over the spot.

The younger man gasped into his mouth, one leg curling around his hips.

“Another more intimate question,” Hyungwon continued, licking into Hoseok’s mouth and pulling their groins closer. “Since you’re rather huge- was she able to take it? Read that some women feel pain if one is too well-endowed. Let’s be real, she’s tiny.”   
  
“One has to take care of the other person, that involves making sure that him or her is not in pain. We picked positions where it was okay and I took care that it was fine in the end. Same goes for you, except that one time you used my emotional response to tell me to hurt you like a crazy person, I still think about that.” He stroked over the spot on the thin shoulder where the bruise had been located before.

“You do?” Hyungwon asked, surprise evident as he placed a warm palm on top of Hoseok’s, kissing the pale wrist shortly. “To be honest I don't really mind pain. I rather enjoy harsh sex, which is why I love it when you just go all out, manhandle me, or fuck me on your work desk. Shit.” A prominent blush spread further on the beautiful golden skin, travelling from the face along the lean chest, only supporting the words just like the obvious erection that pressed against his thigh.    
  
“You really seem to like me,” Hoseok smirked, licking inside the delicious mouth and curling both arms around the beautiful body.

“If you didn’t get it at this point you’re simply dense,” Hyungwon remarked with an eye roll, but hissed at the way Hoseok touched him nevertheless, desire becoming more clear in the gestures and movements. “I usually like to tell people what to do, but somehow it’s a little different with you.”   
  
“It’s because you’re smart. I’m usually not the person to get told what to do.” A grin spread over his face and he slid his fingers over the delicate neck, touch light and almost weightless. “But do you feel comfortable with it? Or do you feel intimidated?”

A grin appeared on the attractive face, fingers stroking over Hoseok’s chest and cupping his dick inconspicuously.

“You know, it’s not like you don’t react to me. Sitting naked on your desk does things, so I don’t see a reason to be intimidated. I hate losing but we’ll see about that, I’m stubborn.” The slim thighs spread slowly as Hyungwon glanced up, eating him up with his eyes alone, as usual not ashamed in any way.   
  
“So am I,” he replied and started placing kisses over the slim shoulders, fingers caressing the smooth skin of Hyungwon’s back. “I didn’t give a single fuck before, but shit, you’re beautiful.”

“You’re hot,” the younger complimented back and closed his eyes, basking in the way Hoseok touched him, breaths leaving the plump parted lips. “But I knew that after the interview.”

“What’s your preference actually?” The blue eyes opened again and a long index finger drew a line along his shaft, as if it was a simple accompaniment to their conversation, not leading to anything. “Liking both sexes equally is mostly scientifically bullshit, there is always some kind of preference even if it’s 60-40. What is yours? And don’t be biased ‘cause I’m naked and you’re basically between my legs.”   
  
_ Preference? _ __   
__   
He thought for a second, being between Hyungwon’s legs not helping in any way.   
  
“Experience-wise I would say 60-40 male-female. Because I dated men in university. But then I was with Judith for a long time. Actually it’s quite hard to get me attracted to be honest. I’m a rather distant person.” His lips traveled up the beautiful neck, leaving tiny marks and nibbling on the earlobe as soon as he reached it. 

“At least there was no stigma to deal with for six years, although I doubt that you would have cared,” Hyungwon commented and gasped at the sensations, pushing his hips further against Hoseok’s thigh almost automatically and body language switching from the calm curiosity to something more vibrant. “I want to scratch your back because you make me scream too much and I lose my shit.”   
  
“Scratch as much as you want, I love it when you let go, it gets me going on a whole new level,” Hoseok groaned against the warm shoulder. 

“You have no fucking clue how glad I am that I managed to attract your distant ass,” the younger man hissed and climbed a little further on the bed, putting more distance between them as Hoseok remained standing at the edge. Grinning Hyungwon turned around, crawling on all fours to the bedside table and rummaging in it, for longer than necessary and most likely on purpose, wanting to rile him up, smooth body and backside on display.    
  
“You being a tease like this makes me want to hear you beg,” his low voice echoed in the big room.

“Try me,” the blue eyed man replied, voice low as he threw the items on the bed and crawled back, not hesitating as he stabilized Hoseok’s erection with his right hand before taking it into his mouth and letting it hit his throat, humming as he repeated the motion. Sneaky hands only added to the sensations with the way they stroked along his hips and cupped his balls, movements quick as if they were meant to make him come, no teasing.   
  
He stabilized his breathing, trying to hold it steady, pleasure soaking through every cell of his body but mind not wanting it to be over anytime soon. Burying a hand in the black strands, Hoseok looked down, watching how his length disappeared between the plump, red lips, sight absolutely mesmerizing. 

Just when it became difficult and the sensation spiked up Hyungwon released him, licking over his lips and getting up.

“I’ll be in the bathroom, while you calm down a little, babe,” the young man commented with a grin and blew him a kiss, stepping out of the room, movements smooth and gracious just like a cat again.   
  
He was sitting on the edge of his bed, hard like an iron rod and waiting for the mesmerizing person to come back, sexual tension overflowing. But if someone had asked which memory of this one day he would’ve kept forever if he had the chance, it most definitely would’ve been the way those blue eyes had been staring at him, full of genuine emotion, Hyungwon’s low voice telling him that he was the only thing he wanted.    


  
***

 

_ Fucking beautiful. _

That’s exactly what Hoseok was, sitting on the couch in his living room and fully absorbed in a book, only wearing a loose pair of sweatpants and perfectly unaware of the fact that Hyungwon had woken up, watching him intently.

It hadn’t occurred to him before but the older man had stopped almost fainting at work, lack of sleep not obvious although Hyungwon wasn’t staying over in his bed everyday, generally healthy appearance speaking for an equally healthy sleep schedule.

_ Maybe he recovered by himself? _

The beautiful black-haired man had woken up before him, leaving him to go about his business apparently. Waking up in an empty unfamiliar bed had been a little disappointing without the warm muscular body to ease the process of motivating himself to stand up, but the sight had been absolutely worth it.

Hyungwon still couldn’t believe that a mere evening had revealed more about the older man than all the previous ones combined, conversations genuine as Hoseok had honestly talked about his previous relationship, explaining his perspective and previous experiences.

_ And the fact that he seems to feel the same for you, wanting to be with you despite everything. _

He felt how the muscles in his cheeks hurt from smiling, standing like an idiot in his boyfriend’s apartment, behind the living room door, all creepy like and watching the attractive man read a book.

“You seem to sleep well nowadays,” he commented finally, revealing himself and his barely clothed body, too lazy to look for his suit and unwilling to wear it on a Saturday. “Don’t need me for that anymore?”  
  
The older man lifted his gaze and brushed his hair back shortly before smiling one of his beautifully genuine smiles that were reserved for special people. Like him.    
  
“Well actually I did need you, that was precisely the reason for not sleeping, so as soon as I’ve realized that it stopped. And after I started acting on my needs, that is.” 

_ Psychosomatic insomnia? _

“Are you telling me that you had psychosomatics because you wanted to be with me but rationally thought you couldn’t, so your brain came up with fucked up scenarios to have me with you?” Hyungwon couldn’t believe that Hoseok’s brain would go to such lengths for something that was much more readily available than that, mere request to meet perfectly sufficient to have him attached to older man’s hip. “Holy shit.”  
  
“I love smart people,” Hoseok sighed and placed a bookmark into the novel, placing the book next to him on the couch. Hyungwon laughed suddenly, remembering his own reason for never using bookmarks with his books.

“You know, if you want to avoid alzheimer's later on you should keep your brain in motion, so remembering the page you are on is already a great step,” he pointed out with a grin and crossed the room with quick steps, slapping Hoseok’s biceps lightly before basically curling up on the older man’s lap, one leg thrown over the muscular body while his arms attached to the waist, head lying on the shoulder. “My first thought was to go clubbing today, but it’s not as much fun in Paris.”

_ You know almost everybody. _   
  
“I want to see how you live,” Hoseok said suddenly, low voice appearing louder because of the proximity.

_ Shit. _

Hyungwon panicked, visual image of what his apartment had looked like the last time he left it enough to scare off someone who lived in a fucking garbage can.

“Now?” he asked, voice a little higher and eyes wide, body ready to run and call Namjoon to force him into a last minute clean up, not sure whether he had told his friend enough to already be meeting his boyfriend. And boss.   
  
“Why are you panicking? Tell me the reasons and I tell you whether I would care.” Hoseok was absolutely calm, stroking over his sides and placing a short kiss on his head.

_ Seriously? You could give him a damn ted talk on why it’s a bad idea. _

“Listen up, Mister,” he began and rolled his eyes, throwing his long legs over Hoseok’s thighs and getting comfortable on the other end of the couch. “It’s fucking tiny and I’m not even sure that your shoulders fit through our door frame. Moreover it’s messy because Namjoon is incapable of touching anything without breaking it and I am never there in addition to pizza boxes cause both of us can neither cook nor eat healthily.” He took a deep breath to figure out which reasons he was actually willing to reveal. “It’s in no way comparable to your place and my room just makes me look like a hoarder with the stacks of books taking up all the space. You can only sit on my bed since everything else is covered.”   
  
“The best. When are we going?” The older man looked at him, face absolutely serious.

Hyungwon couldn’t believe Hoseok, willing to drive his fucking Porsche into the shittiest area of Paris just to sit on a fucking bed surrounded by books.

_ Well, you do feel at home there, Hyungwon. More than in Germany. _

“You’re mental,” he murmured and stood up quickly, running to his suit to pull out his phone and emergency dial Namjoon’s number, having a different ringtone to let his friend know that shit was about to go down. If his boyfriend who was older by thirteen years, and also his boss, coming over wasn’t an emergency then Hyungwon really didn’t know what was.

“What happened?” Namjoon’s graveyard voice hissed through the speaker, urgency obvious in his tone.

“My boyfriend is coming over. I have no idea how long we’ll need to get there but you have half an hour max, maybe I can distract him long enough for you to clean most of the place. It’s important and you better try hard, Joon.” The words were quick, one hand held in front of his mouth to make sure he didn’t talk loud enough for Hoseok to hear in the living room.

His friend laughed at the other end, shifting something around that sounded suspiciously like another Amazon box, most likely blocking a chair again.

“Why? Afraid he’ll leave you for living like a normal student?”

_ Asshole. _

“No, I just don’t want him to feel uncomfortable,” Hyungwon hissed into the phone and tried to put on his pants with one hand, pulling them over his leg with effort, not really succeeding.   
  
He heard no steps but the phone was taken away in a fast motion, before he was able to say anything.   
  
“Hi Namjoon, I’m Hoseok, you don’t need to clean up. What do you normally eat? We’ll get it on the way,” Hoseok’s low voice spoke into the phone as if it was the most normal thing to do.

Hyungwon just stood there, frozen in place as Namjoon probably began elaborating on the importance of meat in a healthy diet and the fact that his dad was able to make the best barbecue in addition to a historical excourse on the philosophical beliefs of vegetarianism and that he disagreed. The amount of time passing as Hoseok merely stood and listened to whatever happened on the other line was only a confirmation.   
  
“Okay deal, we’ll be there in half an hour or something, it will take some time to wait until they prepare the order. See you later.” The pale hand returned the phone into his palm, grinning brightly and walking out of the room as if nothing had happened. 

Hyungwon couldn’t help but feel furious, hating it when somebody interrupted him or decided single handedly to do something without his consent.

_ It’s your fucking business if you want to clean up or not. _

Pushing his legs into the suit pants forcefully he closed the button with quick hands, throwing the shirt over his shoulders before following the older man.

“Have you never heard of social conduct, Hoseok? You don’t just rip the fucking phone out of people’s hands during a phone call.”   
  
“Social conduct? Yes, you’re right, I should learn about it, preferably from someone who sat naked on my desk in the office, throwing contracts around and screaming,” the other man remarked before walking back into the bedroom and pulling clothes out of the wardrobe. 

“That was hot and in no way a representation of broken social conduct. If I had gone to Kihyun’s office and begged you to fuck me on his desk while he was sitting there, that might qualify, but not me jumping you in your office,” Hyungwon pointed out and closed the buttons of his shirt, following Hoseok who apparently liked to interrupt their conversation by running through the apartment without a break.

“It’s my business whether I want him to clean up or not. You have no idea what it looks like, Hoseok. I basically live like a poor student while you are living the American Dream in France.”   
  
“It only looks fancy because I got rid of every single thing that reminded me of Judith. Now it’s pretty and minimalistic. Furthermore, I lived like that too, only I had two flatmates, Kihyun and Minhyuk. We were both a fucking mess and Kihyun had tried hard to minimize the damage but failed dramatically. He still hates me for that.” Hoseok grinned, pulling a simple black shirt over the toned body in addition to blue ripped jeans. The outfit made the other man look a lot younger than he was. “What I’m trying to say is- I don’t care, I know that it sounds hypocritical of someone with a fancy car and apartment to say that he doesn’t care, but I lived like that too and I can absolutely imagine living like that again because in life you never know.”

Hyungwon bit his cheek, not sure how to reply to that and pursed his lips instead, fixing the cuffs of his shirt and staring at the ground, pretending to be busy with his clothes and in thought.

“I can’t really imagine you living like that,” he murmured, wondering whether Hoseok would really not be thrown off by their mess, probably falling over a book on his way in.   
  
“You better listen to what I’m about to tell you. I once came home while Kihyun was on at conference and witnessed Minhyuk getting fucked on the kitchen table, among the pizza boxes while chewing on a fucking margherita slice. So don’t tell me about your flat being a mess.” The older man tilted his head and nodded as if remembering the episode before shaking his head furiously, probably trying to get rid of it again.

_ Holy shit. _

“And I thought I’m weird for asking to be fucked while studying for psychology exams,” Hyungwon murmured and entered the kitchen, using his newly developed skills to prepare two cups of coffee, already guessing that Hoseok had not drunk enough for his daily consumption. In addition he still hoped that he could waste more time and enable Namjoon to at least remove the Ramen cups from the kitchen counter.

It was difficult to imagine Hoseok during his university years, serious appearance and confident charm almost impossible to look past.

“Did Judith meet you when you were like that, still studying or was it later when you worked at a company?”   
  
The muscular man leaned against the counter next to him, smiling and watching him fumbling with the machine.    
  
“I met Judith when Kihyun was tutoring her once, but she was just a cute student, nothing compared to now. I think we met properly much later. It was when I had already been in the company and Kihyun suggested her for a job. It was marketing back then, that’s why she wanted it now.”

“Your own company or the big one you worked at?” Hyungwon asked as he watched the liquid fill out the cups, fascinated by how pleasing the sight was. Maybe that’s why Hoseok had a preference for this type of machine.    
  
“Uhm, my own? I mean Kihyun was there, I decided who’ll get the job so yes, my company. I bet you’ll laugh your ass off if I show you pictures from my university years, having blonde hair and everything.” Hoseok chuckled.

“Blonde? Holy shit, can’t imagine that at all.” Hyungwon tried, attempting to turn the raven black strands blonde in his mind and not succeeding, appearance too radically different. “You sound a little gay to be honest, when I consider your student life descriptions.” Laughing he glanced around the kitchen, even more aware than before that there were absolutely no personal items located anywhere, not in the living room and also not in the hallway.

An idea popped up in his head, embarrassing but remaining in his head even as he took a sip of the strong coffee and watched Hoseok basically inhale his own.

“Ehm, this might be weird, but can I give you something?”   
  
“Depends, as long as it’s not an STD,” Hoseok commented and started laughing. After walking out of the kitchen and fumbling with things in the living room the older man came back, holding two pictures in his hands. “Here, that’s me when I was exactly your age.” 

“Fuck my life, you sound like my dad, Hoseok,” Hyungwon replied, rolling his eyes and taking the two pictures from the older man, looking at them carefully. His breath almost got stuck in his throat for good, eyes widening at the beauty that was Hoseok with blonde hair. The currently black-haired man looked absolutely amazing with a light hair color, unreal even. Like an angel.

_ Except for the semi-hipster outfit paired with the random fuckboy aesthetic. _

“You look like a fuckboy in this one,” he remarked and stared at the second picture, a selfie, taken from above and showing most of Hoseok’s thighs, wearing basically non-existent shorts. “If those are shorts then either the shop lied to you or you are lying to yourself, boy.”

_ You just called him boy because you looked at a younger version of him, you weirdo. _

Breathing in and returning the pictures to the beautiful man next to him, Hyungwon grinned, placing a kiss on the curved mouth and looking the muscular body up and down, especially slowly.

“I’d have probably fucked you back then, but this-” He let his index finger run along the outline of Hoseok’s chest and abs. ”Is more to my taste.”

“I would definitely not have fucked you back then because ew, but you're also very much to my taste right now.” A hand brushed back the black bangs and the older man placed the empty cup on the counter, waiting for him to finish his.

_ Holy fuck. You were nine when he was twenty-two. _

“Ehm, yeah,” Hyungwon commented, not sure what else to say, thought rather unpleasant in his head and screaming weird although he didn’t consider being close to Hoseok strange in any way. Sure, they had an age difference but Hoseok was attractive and interesting, apart from the dad jokes maybe. “I’ll give you something that I’ve never shown anybody, because it’s embarrassing as fuck, but that’s how much I like you.”

Looking for his wallet he searched for that one picture he had taken in high school, eighteen years old and blonde as well, color drastic with his blue eyes and making him look crazy. He had tried to adapt back then, gaze teasing just as it always was and eyes bright. He cringed a little as soon as he found it, returning to the older man and giving it to him.

“This is really cringy though,” he warned and studied the facial expressions.

Hoseok looked at the picture intently, lifting it closer to his face, probably sucking in the details before turning back towards him. 

“You do look stunning, what else can I say? I personally like you more with the brown or the black hair, but your face is just very aesthetic, it goes with everything. I have to say that you look more feminine when your hair is light.” A small smile played around the curved lips.

_ No shit, that’s why it’s cringy. _

Hyungwon bit his lip to not smile too brightly at the onslaught of compliments and murmured a short thank you before rolling his eyes at the comment about femininity. He preferred not to elaborate on the topic too much, still remembering how he had told Hoseok that he required no such thing as clearly defined masculinity and felt perfectly happy without it.

“You know, as a gay boy it has a lot of advantages to seem feminine, especially in high school when you are crushing on the captain of the football team.” A smile managed to escape his carefully attempted lip bite, remembering how he had tried to appeal.

“Marvellous, can we get going? I promised Namjoon steak and we have to get going to pick up the order.” Hoseok turned around and walked towards the hallway, tying the chucks.

_ Mission ‘distract Hoseok to give Namjoon more time to clean’ was successful. _

Grinning in triumph Hyungwon followed the older man and slipped his own leather shoes over his feet. It felt strange to be going home and be absolutely overdressed compared to the rich older guy next to him, clad in simple blue jeans and a shirt, who also happened to be his boyfriend. As ridiculous as it was he felt excited nevertheless, finally able to talk to Namjoon about Hoseok, at least partially.

“Who drives?” he asked on the way to the Porsche, smile in place and fingers tingling to touch the wheel.

“You, why would I drive?” Hoseok grinned and held two pair of keys in front of his face. “Mercedes or Porsche?”

Hyungwon bit his lip, a little embarrassed because of his enthusiasm as he grabbed the key for the Porsche and unlocked the car, body easily maneuvering around the beautiful construction and sliding into the driver’s seat.

“So now I am also your driver?” he asked and stroked over Hoseok’s thigh as soon as the older man sat down next to him, other hand already curling around the pleasant texture of the wheel.

Namjoon was going to choke on his meat at the sight of this car.

“No, you're my boyfriend I guess. I'd like to bend you over it though, would look amazing,” the low voice commented while a smirk appeared on the handsome face.

Hyungwon swallowed, happiness at being called Hoseok’s boyfriend and mental images of sex on top of a Porsche melting into a rather pleasant sensation in his groin that he would have preferred to keep a little higher, chest maybe, and therefore also safer. Especially considering the fact that he was about to meet his best friend.

He didn’t comment, only curling and uncurling his fingers around the wheel as he started the engine and hoped Hoseok had no intentions of riling him up any further. He wasn’t used to people being just as shameless as he was.

Picking up the meat had been easy, Hyungwon’s prediction absolutely right as beautifully prepared chunks of steak in addition to some salad were handed over to them and placed into the car quickly. Hoseok was apparently up for spoiling Namjoon and winning his favour.

_ Mentioning Camus or Murakami would have done the job quicker though. _

The ride was calm as Hyungwon concentrated on the road, not allowing himself to pay attention to the rising excitement and worries in his chest, showing a rather big part of himself to the older man. 

_ The other half of your double life.  _

Parking the car close to his apartment and trying hard not to drive over the dead bird on the side, Hyungwon pursed his lips and threw a glance at Hoseok.

The handsome man walked next to him and towards the building which he obviously remembered from the last time they had been in front of it. 

“Are you excited?” Hoseok grinned at him shamelessly. 

Hyungwon poured all of his acting skills into his next words as he smirked and brushed through his hair, only a few of the strands returning to the forehead.

“I don't need to live in a fancy place for you to like me, Hoseok,” he replied and couldn't help but wonder why his perfectly rational brain wasn't capable of believing that to be the truth. 

_ Because believing isn't rational. As the Germans say it's ‘something for the church’. _

Running up the stairs after opening the front door Hyungwon prepared himself to lift the apartment door such that Hoseok couldn't tell it was necessary, already collecting the required strength and figuring out the timing in his head. 

However he didn't get to try out his plan as Namjoon opened the door himself, wood screeching a little and revealing his friend in sweatpants and a t-shirt that appeared to be unusually unused. Forcing the physics major to abandon the sweatpants would have probably been too much to ask. 

Instead of greeting him the blonde just mouthed ‘I hate you’ at him, rolling his eyes before focusing on Hoseok who was following Hyungwon up the stairs. 

“It's a pleasure, you must be Mr. Baguette.”

_ What? _

Hyungwon almost fell over the next stair at the words, eyes wide and disbelieving that his best friend would do him dirty like that. He had not even once called Hoseok that and neither had Namjoon. 

_ He's probably trying to get back at you for not telling him shit and forcing him to clean. _

“I'm Hoseok, which characteristics of mine made you give me that name?” The black-haired man smiled, not appearing offended or anything.

_ Don't forget that he's king of pretending.  _

“Honestly, I just pulled it out of my ass because you're in Paris and Hyungwon likes-” Luckily Namjoon stopped talking, face a little paler at the realization and at the proper sight of Hoseok. “Baguette?”

_ What a genius.  _

“Have you finished the book series about Dust I gave you by Pullmann? It's for children but I have never read a better critique of current society and religion,” Hyungwon switched the topic, recognising the familiar volume behind Namjoon on the cupboard. The apartment was definitely cleaner than it had been. The wall colour remained disgusting, but at least their stuff wasn't blocking everything, Amazon boxes on the side with the pizza boxes instead of on the kitchen chairs.

Namjoon’s face switched to something more excited, dimples appearing and gesturing for Hoseok to come in. 

“That book is amazing. Thank god I'm not religious, I might have reconsidered after reading that. It gave me a similar feeling to ‘The never-ending story’ somehow.” His best friend closed the door carefully behind them, lifting it up slightly and not hiding it in the slightest. “Would you like something to drink, Hoseok?”

The black-haired man let himself fall on one of the chairs and placed the packed food on the table.

_ Just hope it's not the chair that keeps giving up on life.  _

“Yeah, 28-year-old Aberlour whisky,” Hoseok commented, face straight before the smile widened. “I'd take a beer if you have one.” 

Namjoon had just stared at his boyfriend while Hyungwon really wanted to face palm, before his friend laughed loudly and got a German beer out of the fridge. 

“My dad once got a bottle for his 20th wedding anniversary and just kept it in the cupboard ‘cause it looked so fancy,” the blonde replied cheerfully, opening the beer and placing it in front of Hoseok. Hyungwon remained leaning against the door frame. They only had two chairs anyway. 

Suddenly Namjoon narrowed his long eyes a little, studying Hoseok carefully as he took a sip from his own beer. “How old are you actually, Hoseok? Having a Porsche and all that fab stuff.”

_ Here we go.  _

Hoseok stared back, drinking from the beer while being obviously amused. 

“Let's say if I would've wanted to date Hyungwon five years ago it would've been illegal. I'm thirty five, why? Do I look younger?” 

Hyungwon's eyes widened a little, knowing that Hoseok was straight forward but not expecting him to make jokes about the age difference. Namjoon took it surprisingly well, smiling and letting his bottle touch the older man's with a relatively low sound. 

“It's hard to tell. But age doesn't matter with love and all that impossibly idealistic buzz, right?” His best friend finally sat down on the other kitchen chair, as casual as always. “How the hell did you even meet? Hyungwon works too much to go to gay bars. I know nothing about you because he's never here, just that your car is sexy which better not be the reason you're dating.” 

The blonde threw him an accusatory gaze and Hyungwon panicked a little, not wanting to make the whole thing even more complicated. 

“It's such a long story, Namjoon.” Grinning Hyungwon strategically asked his friend about the current homework he was occupied with, a rather extensive work on black holes that the blonde immediately sank into, elaborating extensively as Hyungwon couldn't help but smile in Hoseok’s direction. It felt strange not to hide their relationship but also not to touch. He wanted to sit on the older man's lap or hug his waist. 

“Do you intend on standing there forever?” Hoseok turned a little and patted his thigh, gesturing for him to sit down.

_ You were probably obvious. You know he's attentive.  _

Hyungwon bit his lower lip, successfully suppressing his smile and purposefully appearing nonchalant as he sat down on the thick thighs, one arm curling around Hoseok’s neck. 

His friend appeared thrown off in his monologue on the aversive effects of capitalism on science, but continued, eyes sliding to the side and focusing on their fridge as he talked. It was funny, as if Namjoon expected them to make out or something. Hyungwon had never actually made out in front of the blonde, saving him the sight and too occupied with being at other people's places and his studies.

_ It's the same now, just that it's work and Hoseok’s place.  _ __   
__   
Hoseok kept discussing with Namjoon, visibly interested and engaged in the conversation such that a whole hour had passed before the older man finally lifted his gaze towards him, who was still sitting on his lap.   
  
“This is fun, but I also wanted to see your room, because I bet Namjoon didn’t clean it. At least I hope so, it’ll be amazing.” The handsome man placed a kiss against his clothed shoulder.

Hoseok was sneaky, clearly aware of the fact that Namjoon had cleaned up although he had never been there. Maybe it was the fact that Hyungwon had remained calm at the sight of the apartment, not too embarrassed. They hadn’t even touched the steak yet.

“You’ll be disappointed,” the blonde said with a laugh. “I didn’t but it’s just a bed and his books, not much to dirty there.”   
  
“That’s irrelevant, I really want to see it.” Hoseok stood up, not caring that Hyungwon stil sat on his thigh, letting him slide down while lifting the body up. 

“Fine,” Hyungwon just murmured and told Namjoon to warm up the steaks cause the food was probably ice cold already, in no way enjoyable even if it was nicely done steak. Sighing at the small space, a few meters perfectly sufficient to be in front of his room Hyungwon opened the door and gestured for Hoseok to enter, pointing at the immediate stacks of books that the older man would have to avoid to get through to the bed.

He had never had anyone over, so obviously the whole place was just arranged to fit him, and his rather slim body. Hyungwon didn’t need to try hard to slip past the piles of books, usually he just squeezed through and fell on top of the bed to sleep.

“Okay, fuck, let me rearrange a little. It’s kinda meant to fit me alone, I guess.”   
  
He heard a sound and turned around, seeing how Hoseok sat down on the half square meter between his books, cross legged, taking Katsuo Ishiguro from the top of a pile and opening it, gaze concentrated and visibly not giving a single fuck that he was sitting on the floor.

_ He’s amazing. _

Hyungwon didn’t know what to say, closing the door behind himself and smoothly sliding through the slim pathway to his bed that he had created for himself, climbing on top of it and watching the older man, black hair falling in his face with the way he leaned over the book. Warmth spread through his chest at the sight, thoughts that Hoseok was really at his home becoming more real. It was a little like the first time they had interacted, the older man drowning in a book as he watched.

“Thank you for coming,” he murmured, a little overwhelmed and lying on his bed such that his face was closer to Hoseok, head resting on his palms, propped up on his elbows. “You took my annotated version though, it has random notes in my left footed hand writing all over it.”   
  
“I love it. I love how you think behind that crumbling wall of confidence, it’s so interesting,” Hoseok commented without lifting his gaze, tongue licking over the curled lips repeatedly, a sign of concentration or nervousness, considering the situation it was probably the first.

“Behind that ‘crumbling wall of confidence’? Are you telling me that I pretend to be confident for protection and you are seeing through it by reading my writing about dystopian novels? Aren’t you going a little far there?” Hyungwon asked and pulled his lips together, resembling a pout and probably making him look bratty but he couldn’t care less with the way Hoseok focused on the book and apparently saw right through him without even actually staring at him.   
  
“You misunderstood. The wall is there, but it’s not stable whatsoever, it crumbles if I blow against it. Do you know the tale about the three little pigs?” The handsome man kept looking through his notes, reading them intensely. How he had been able to have a different train of thought at the same time was a mystery.

“I’m guessing you’re hinting at me being the pig with the house made out of hay? Quick to build up and feel protected but easily broken down with just a little bit of wind.” Hyungwon sat up, mirroring Hoseok’s position on the floor and tilting his head a little, wondering how the black-haired man concluded that.   
  
“Yes. The thing is just, the pig, it didn’t build the house out of hay because it was dumb, it simply hadn’t met the wolf yet, that’s what I think. Either way I’m not looking down on you, you’re breathtakingly smart, it’s the experience with self-reflection I guess. Don’t you think- personally- that your confidence is a crumbling wall?” The dark eyes stared at him from under the raven-black bangs. 

“W-well,” Hyungwon began, just to stop at how ironic it was that he stuttered when the older man asked him about the endurance of his confidence. Breathing in deeply he stared back, tongue licking over his lips as he met the almost black gaze with his deep blue one. “Are you suggesting that you are the wolf blowing it to shreds? That I just need experience with someone like you to keep it from crumbling?”   
  
“No, I suggest that you’ve probably never met someone who made the wall crumble. Actually that’s not it, you might have met someone like this, but the thing is, if the wolf is full of affection towards you, he’ll help you build the stone wall instead of making it crumble.” Hoseok leaned against the wall, black strands in huge contrast against the dirty white tapestry.

“But if we use your metaphor of hay, wood and stone for confidence the question would be when exactly confidence becomes a stone wall. You suggest that a wolf that loves would strengthen the confidence, but wouldn’t the same wolf also be the one who'll be able to make it crumble, even if it is made of stone, knowing how it was built in the first place?” Hyungwon slid down from the bed, legs resting next to two stacks of books as he wanted to be closer to the older man, fingers tingling to pull him on top of his bed but endangering the arrangement on the ground.   
  
“I’d say it like this, the wolf would still blow at the hay, but only to show its weaknesses. Of course when the stone wall is built there are small cracks where one would be able to attack it. The question is just why? Aren’t you assuming that the wolf came to eat you in the first place?” The older man stared at him, lips curled up in a small smirk.

Hyungwon smirked back, not replying to the suggestion but feeling a shudder pass through his limbs.

“Who was the wolf to build up your confidence, Hoseok?”   
  
“Me. I’m the wolf.” The eyes looked even more intense, piercing through him and looking even more intimidating than they had been before. 

“So you are saying that you were a wolf from the beginning? Can’t a piglet become a wolf with experience?” He placed his feet carefully in the space between the books, standing up from the bed and making his way towards the older man, not looking away for even a second.   
  
“Of course it can. It’s just that the wolf doesn’t want to become a piglet in the end, standing on the outer side of the stone wall.” The intense gaze created an insane amount of tension between them, independent of the location or topic, it was mesmerizing.

“And what happens when two wolves collide?” Hyungwon stopped right in front of the older man, surrounded by books and the lack of light entering through the covered windows.    
  
“The wolf doesn’t care, it wants the piglet.”

Hyungwon swallowed, licking over his lips that began feeling dry and slowly pushing a stack further towards the side, revealing a little bit more of the broad muscular body in front of him.

“But if the piglet is gone, only a wolf remaining?”   
  
Hoseok licked his lips slowly, looking up at him from below, gaze still so dominant although the position wasn’t at all.    
  
“Hmm, I guess it’ll be very intense.” 

_ Sounds familiar. Just that he is still able to get under your skin, it’s not stone yet. _ __   
__   
A hand brushed back the raven-black bangs, revealing the pale forehead and the look that really reminded of a wolf hunting for prey.   
  
“The most important thing is that both are on the same side of the wall.” 

For the first time while standing in the middle of his room Hyungwon couldn’t get himself to give a single shit, kicking to the side and forcing a stack of books to topple over, evoking a chain reaction of a few more, like a domino game that happened around them, books toppling over and creating more space around the beautiful older man.

Hissing at the tension in the air Hyungwon moved forward and climbed on top of Hoseok’s legs, curling his arms around the firm neck, warmth seeping through his suit and fingers shaking at the wish to touch more skin.

“If one never steps outside the house it’s impossible to end up on the wrong side,” he whispered into the attractively formed ear. “One just needs to let the wolf in and not let him leave.”   
  
The older man hissed, staring at his eyes for a couple of seconds before catching his bottom lip with sharp teeth, nibbling on it before letting go and breathing against his mouth.    
  
“But the wolf loves freedom. It will take you outside and show you the world you didn’t know existed. Because if you’re a wolf you don’t need to hide inside a stone house.”

_ Shit. It’s like a silent promise of the unknown. _

Excitement bubbled in his chest, tingling along his arms and sinking into his fingertips, intertwining with the raven-black hair and pulling the older man towards himself, attempting to have him to himself.

“Show me,” Hyungwon whispered, voice trembling just like his body was. “Show me everything.”

_ He can teach you to build with stones until you don’t need them anymore. _

“I will, because I’m pretty sure that you’re a wolf inside a hay house.” The curved lips pressed against his, tongue licking inside his mouth, so hot and intense.

“I’m hooked on how you make me hooked,” Hyungwon murmured, playing with Hoseok’s tongue and rolling his hips, body complying immediately, knowing what to do. They were surrounded by a mess of books, order gone, but he didn’t give a single fuck, melting into the embrace. “I want you, I need you, I want you to take me underground.”   
  
The older man leaned back, moving his body from the warm lap, grabbing a pillow from the bed and placing it behind him, pushing against his shoulders and letting him lie down in between the mass of books.    
  
“I want to touch you,” Hoseok whispered, opening the buttons of his suit shirt one after the other, leaving it hanging over his shoulders and placing kisses over his naked chest, sucking on a nipple harshly. 

Hyungwon moaned, sensitive when it came to touches to his nipples and spread his legs almost automatically, a reaction to the pleasure, short but intense pulses passing through his thighs. Throwing his arm on top of something that looked like Goethe's collected works he gasped, nodding furiously as the other attempted to reach for Hoseok.   
  
The black-haired man was incredibly quick and skilled, opening his suit pants in an instant and sliding them down a little, far enough to free his erection but not enough to constrict movement or forcing him to squeeze his legs together. Hoseok breathed over the tip, licking around it and digging the pretty pink tongue into the slit as the strong fingers curled around the base.

“Holy shit,” Hyungwon cursed, thankful for the pillow that his head rested on as a moan left his lips, chest rising and falling quickly and fingers tightening in the black strands, physically begging for more. He bit his lip painfully to keep himself from making too much noise, hips lifting almost on their own. “Show me what you can do, Hoseok.”   
  
The older man didn’t seem to be in the mood to tease, probably concerned about another person being inside the apartment, sliding down his length he hummed, suppressing the sound but tightening his throat around him repeatedly. The strong hands lifted his hips in the air, towards Hoseok’s face. The other only used his mouth, but he used it to the maximum, deepthroating him repeatedly.

It became impossible to contain the noises that forced their way out between his lips. Both hands covered his mouth as he panted through his nose, sweat drops appearing along his chest and forehead, rolling down gradually as he screamed into his palms, whole body shivering repeatedly and disbelieving at how easily Hoseok lifted him up. He felt euphoria, situation surreal, in his own home, surrounded by books and at the same time surrounded by the beautiful curved lips, breath refusing to leave his lungs and tension in his groin quickly striving for the high with each lick and motion.   
  
Hoseok looked up to him, placing his hips on the floor and removing his hands from the mouth.    
  
“I can do a better job because you can bite.” A pale hand stroked over his naked chest, fingers cupping his chin before the palm lay flat against his mouth. Hoseok took him completely again, lips tightening and tongue helping out, fingers of the free hand massaging his balls repeatedly. Hyungwon moaned against the flat palm, whines muffled and tongue licking automatically over the smooth skin, unable to contain his response. The closer he got the less he was aware of his actions, legs spreading even further and hands pulling at Hoseok’s hair painfully, teeth biting down on the palm covering his lips as he suppressed a scream, releasing himself into the warm mouth, body convulsing at the pleasure. The warm skin retreated from his lips as the handsome man between his legs sucked him through his high, licking over the tip shortly before pulling his underwear and pants back up, returning the previous state.    
  
“You’re like a drug, I love it.”

Hyungwon was still fighting with reality, eyes closing as soon as he was dressed and could be sure there was nothing beautiful or mesmerizing that he was missing apart from Hoseok’s attractive face. Breathing heavily he tried to roll to the side before remembering that he was surrounded by fallen books, opening his eyes instead and licking over his lips.

“I love it when you touch me just the way you want,” he replied quietly, lifting up on his elbows and studying how his long legs still remained on each side of the older man’s body, obvious erection straining the tight blue jeans, thighs basically bulging.   
  
“The way you react is addictive, I can’t get enough, seriously, I must be lucky.” A playful smile graced the handsome features as the other man placed a couple of kisses against his clothed calves. Hyungwon chuckled, lifting his eyebrows shortly in a teasing manner.

“I’m generally a treasure, Hoseok. I love pleasure and you are rather good at providing it, so of course I react like that.” Lifting his leg up and bending it at the knee Hyungwon placed his foot on top of Hoseok’s crotch, rubbing it in circular motions, just enough to rile up. “You seem to react too, Mister.”   
  
“Yes, you being a bratty kitty, biting, scratching and pulling my hair got me going.” Another grin followed as Hoseok tilted his head to the side, observing his face.

_ Dick. _

Hyungwon lifted himself up, legs remaining in place as he grabbed Hoseok’s collar and pulled him flush against him until their lips were almost touching. Staring into the almost black eyes he licked his lips slowly.

“Mother-fucking meow,” he hissed and bit down on Hoseok’s lower lip, clashing their mouths together forcefully.    
  
“Ah, you’re lucky that we’re at your place,” Hoseok hissed back, licking into his mouth and moaning, sounds caught easily.

Hyungwon somehow desired to be at the older man’s place at the words, curious what it would have entailed, but decided to use his advantage instead. He was the satisfied one and Hoseok would have to remain strained.

Rubbing his flat palm over the black-haired man’s crotch once, he broke the kiss and stood up, careful to not step on a book and hurt himself, path to the door blocked and possibility to open the door gone unless he sorted at least the ones at the front back into stacks.

“Now I just need to step on ‘the idiot’,” he murmured with an eyeroll. “For epic justice.”

Hoseok stood up in a smooth movement without propping up, amount of the other man’s strength remaining unclear to a mediocre human. The dark eyes focused on him like on some prey and the black-haired man walked towards him like a hungry snake.

_ Wolf. He’s a wolf. _   
  
_ 

 

Handing the stack of papers with his signature to Kihyun felt weird, accepting Judith’s offer just as he had planned and agreeing to the conditions, which basically involved spending almost half of his time for the modelling campaign. At least for the next few months.

_ You must be mental. _

His conclusion had been that the likelihood of seeing the attractive black-haired woman was rather low as people in charge were busy and didn’t hang around while the common folk worked.  
  
He had thought wrong.    
  
The call came fifteen minutes after handing in the documents.   
  
“Hyungwon! Thank you so much for agreeing, did Martina send you the project outline? Did you already have time to look over it?” The low, sensual voice immediately connected with the outer appearance. Hyungwon could even imagine the expression on the woman’s face, expectant but remaining friendly.

“Considering that I have completely worked through my email account just now I will have to disappoint you as an email from Martina was not present,” Hyungwon replied calmly, choosing professionalism as the best approach. “However I am looking forward to working with you, Judith.”

_ Because that worked oh so well with Hoseok. _ __   
__   
A short pause followed before he could hear the woman on the other end sucking in a breath.   
  
“This place needs structure, I’m sorry, are you in the office?” she asked, shifting paper in the background.

“Yes, I am. Can I help you somehow?” Hyungwon could tell how Judith must have been contemplating on ways to bring more structure into her workers’ efficiency, sounds on the other end perfectly indicative.   
  
“Yes, please stay where you are, I need five minutes.” Judith said goodbye and hung up quickly. 

Hyungwon just sat there for a moment or two, phone still remaining in his right hand and beeping unpleasantly until he finally realized that he had exactly five minutes to prepare himself to see Hoseok’s ex girlfriend. In his office, with Hoseok on the other side because he was working on the project for their new collaborator in Israel. Lovely.

_ Don’t lie to yourself, Hyungwon. You’re curious about her. _

Checking quickly whether everything was in place, particularly the features on his face as it was a modelling job after all, Hyungwon fixed his tie and leaned back in his chair, occupying himself with the planning of their London trip instead, still hesitating whether he should book a single or a double room. It would have been suspicious, but he wanted to share.    
  
A clicking sound appeared in the hallway before it stopped and he heard Kihyun’s voice, indicating surprise. A couple of seconds passed before the sounds continued and he heard someone knocking on the wrong door. Hoseok’s door.

Hyungwon panicked, grabbing the two cups of coffee that he had prepared for the moment that he would consider appropriate to harass Hoseok and knocked on the older man’s door simultaneously with the older woman before opening it without waiting for a reply.    
  
It was hilarious, Hoseok sat behind his desk staring at him before he stared at the other door where Judith had already walked in, sitting down on the couch comfortably. She was wearing a pastel lilac dress with black high heels, black curls falling over the slim shoulders and bright blue eyes focused on Hoseok.    
  
“Well, as I mentioned I need Hyungwon,” she stated.

Hyungwon smiled, placing one of the coffee cups on Hoseok’s desk before turning his attention to the aesthetically pleasing woman on the red leather.

“I thought you were planning to grace me with your presence, but I guess everything has to go through the boss. Would you also like a coffee, Judith?”   
  
“Oh no, I wanted to come over, but then Kihyun told me to tell Hoseok about the amount of hours I’d need you so that they can plan better, so I decided to go through the office first. A coffee would be amazing, but Hoseok can also make one, right?”

_ Ehm, what? _   
  
The older man’s gaze narrowed on Judith’s face but looking closely it was like a fight from both sides.    
  
“You can need him as much as you want, but he’s still my assistant, I need him. Present a proper project plan with the tasks and estimation of resources and I might consider.” Hoseok stood up and put a cup under his own machine, pressing a button and waiting until the dark brown drops started falling down into the cup. The beautiful woman stood up and walked towards the desk, grinning shamelessly and letting a pile fall onto the white surface.   
  
“Done. I suppose we’re okay then?”

_ Holy shit, your boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend are arguing over your time. What the actual fuck? _   
  
Hoseok turned around and walked over, looking through the documents before his eyes lifted and settled on the small symmetrical face.    
  
“Impressive, you could’ve modelled yourself considering the amount of time you used to create all this, just saying.”    
  
A beautiful smile graced the plump, red lips before Judith leaned against the white desk and stretched out a finger, pointing in his direction.   
  
“I’m old. I need someone who’s young, handsome and smart and Hyungwon here is perfect. Furthermore it’s for your money, Hoseok, we need the campaign.”    
  
Hoseok nodded, obviously persuaded by rational arguments and looked over to him.    
  
“Actually it’s his decision to be honest, if he wants to do it, you can have his time.” The older man took the cup and stretched it out in front of Judith’s face. The smile changed into a different one and she nodded, biting down on her bottom lip. Hoseok waited until the delicate hand curled around the cup. “I didn’t answer your email. Come over at four, I will have a whole hour then. The campaign will be successful, you’re good.”

There was something extraordinary in the way Hoseok and Judith interacted, not fitting to all other conversations Hyungwon had observed. There was something emotional to it, even if none of them acted on it. It felt uncomfortable to be in the middle of it, like an object that was up for discussion and only used to win a personal fight. A fight for dominance. He felt out of place, sipping on his own coffee and waiting for his presence to become relevant again, stabbing sensation burning at his temple and in his chest.

_ Why are they meeting up? _

“I signed the papers already, so I would like to do it,” he remarked, glancing in Hoseok’s direction as he chewed on his cheek, feeling like he was interrupting something.   
  
The other man’s attention shifted immediately and he started watching his face, probably trying to determine his emotional state. But there was nothing to read if the feelings didn’t even make sense to him yet.   
  
“You can do it then, let’s go for lunch after you two are done.” Hoseok smiled brightly and earned a surprised gaze from Judith who was still staring at his boyfriend’s face.

_ She knows him. _

“Sure,” Hyungwon replied with a smile of his own, glad about the reassurance that Hoseok gave him. Returning his attention to the petite woman he gestured towards the office, equal smile gracing his lips. “Shall we, Judith?”   
  
The beautiful woman turned to Hoseok saying something really quietly, such that he couldn’t hear and followed him, taking the rest of the documents from the glass table in a smooth movement.    
  
“It’ll be the first time to see my old office after four months,” she commented walking through the wooden door. Hyungwon bit his lip as long as she wasn’t paying attention to him, fighting with the returning feeling of being a replacement as he rolled a chair away from the desk and offered it to the beautiful woman. She hadn’t done anything to him and there was no reason to feel uncomfortable around her. 

_ You are going to work with her, so make the best out of it. You chose it yourself. _

“I hope I haven’t ruined it then,” he said with a grin and sat down himself as soon as Judith did, black hair falling prettily over her shoulders. “You would look good with a ponytail because of the length of your hair. It might add more sobriety to your appearance.”   
  
The blue eyes met his and he was graced with a playful smile.    
  
“I know, the thing is, if I let my hair fall over the shoulders, combined with the bangs, it looks soft so people think they can do whatever. It’s fortunate because I have time to adjust and know what they’re really like. If I put it up, it fits more to my personality, but people are more intimidated by my already special outer appearance.” Judith crossed her legs, tights revealing lean thighs under the thin, transparent fabric.

“You seem to have thought extensively about that already,” Hyungwon said with a laugh, amazed at how much the older woman had already analyzed her own appearance. “Have you tried complex braids? That’s usually a good mixture of seriousness but remaining approachable. Dutch ones look a little softer than French ones.”   
  
“This is interesting, actually men are more into the ‘I’ll grab you by the hair and pull you inside the cave’ thing, but you’re telling me about braids, wow. Please teach me your ways. Can you do braids?” The small hands arranged the documents on the table, shifting them into the right order.

Hyungwon’s eyes widened shortly, not expecting an actual questioning of his braiding skills which were honestly speaking absolutely irrelevant in his daily life.

“I have a little sister, so I dare say that I am indeed capable of doing braids. The actual impact of braids on people and how they affect others in combination with different face types came later though, I swear.” He chuckled and crossed his legs, glancing shortly at the batch of papers Judith was arranging.   
  
“Fine, then you can show me how it’s done once. But first I want to tell you about my idea for the campaign. I researched a little and found out that Hoseok let you design a product, that means two things, first, you must be so insanely smart and skilled that he couldn’t help letting someone else touch his baby, second, you have an idea how this works, which is also amazing for me as this company needs insight. You as someone who designed a product for a specific client will be able to determine the impact of a certain slogan much better than me, who is only skilled in manipulating people.” Judith chuckled and raked a hand through the black locks.

Hyungwon genuinely wanted to braid it but held back, amazed at the rather intensive research the short woman must have conducted and curious about how far her manipulative skills extended.

_ Would you be able to tell? _

“Well, you said that the campaign is meant to lure in young professionals, so I assume that I am a rather good representative then. Although I have not chosen a typical job for professional development, but that might be even more helpful. After all I was not interested in the professional offers and might be able to say what could make them more appealing.” Licking over his lips shortly in thought he smiled. “You’re making me curious, just vaguely talking about your idea and waving the documents around but not actually showing them to me.”  
  
“Becaauseeee-” The low voice pulled the word longer. “You would be biased if I told you, so I want to hear you fresh opinion first, tell you my idea and hope that you’re neither afraid nor attracted to me and will say the truth.” Another beautiful smile was directed at him.

Hyungwon laughed, brushing a hand through his hair and observing the expression on the older woman’s face.

“I would be telling you the truth either way, Judith,” he commented before beginning his elaboration, pointing out what exactly he had disliked about the previous offers and the campaign he saw, only attracted by an offer because it had what he wanted independent of the promotion. Furthermore there had been little representation of internationality although it was the heart of the company, most models were white blonde males, lack of women that actually worked at the company and argued for the plus points almost frustrating. He finished off with a short presentation of the positive qualities that he considered relevant for young professionals and would promote.   
  
Judith listened intently, nodding at specific points and making short notes on the side of the printed slides, visibly taking his opinion seriously.    
  
“How fortunate that Hoseok and me agree on you being a blessing for the company. I wanted to do a double campaign, bringing in our employees who would represent a variety of female professionals and use you to represent the male side. I don’t want the insane amount of pictures, two or three will be fine. I want a video because a lot of people forget how to read text and I want to place gif like advertisements in job search engines. I heard that you’re going to London next week and you’ll be presenting the project there. I’ll be there too, so I can get more inspiration and come back into the topic better so we would have time to elaborate further.” Blue eyes settled on his face and waited for a reaction.  
  
Hyungwon fought the initial shock, brain easily providing him with the visual images of what trips with Hoseok usually looked like, smiling brightly instead and nodding.

_ How the hell will you hide what’s going on while she is there too? _

“That sounds great. Now you just need to place video ads onto youtube and youporn and you probably have every young person out there.”   
  
The beautiful woman laughed out loud, showing pretty white teeth and slapped his shoulder lightly.    
  
“I don’t want those,” she commented and grinned, shifting the papers into an accurate pile.

“Reasonable.” Hyungwon glanced at his screen, seeing the hotel possibilities he had been checking out before Judith graced him with her presence. “Would you like me to look into a hotel room for you as well then or are you not coming with the company?”   
  
“I’m going with the company, but Kihyunie wanted to take care of that. Just tell him in which hotel you two are staying so he can adjust.” Standing up, Judith took her notes and left the rest on the table, looking up at him despite ridiculously high heels. It was cute somehow.

_ Is there a possibility to lie about the hotel without getting caught? Probably not. _

“He’s good at that so you are in even better hands then,” Hyungwon remarked with a smile and glanced at the way a single strand couldn’t decide between the shoulder and the back, stuck in the middle and falling out of the picture. Reaching out he fixed it quickly, still amused at how petite the older woman was.    
  
“I will come back for your braiding skills, but I have to prepare an insane amount of stuff because Hoseok doesn’t care about relations, affection, familiarity or anything else when it comes to work. Did you see his eyes?” Judith chuckled and stretched out a hand.   
  


“Tell me about it.” Standing up Hyungwon accepted the delicate fingers in his own and squeezed shortly, not quite aware how much strength was appropriate because Judith constantly had something breakable to her despite the fierce personality and confidence. “When do you need me?”   
  
He was met with big eyes, thoughtful and concentrated, before the gaze changed and a smile spread over the features on the small face.    
  
“I guess we will start with the pictures on Wednesday before the trip. I’ll contact you, I have your phone number and everything.” She turned around and pulled a post-it out of his stack, writing down something, probably her mobile number and pinning it to his desk. “Here, you can call me if you have a question or some kind of input.”

“Thank you, Judith. I am genuinely glad that you are competent. I struggle with incompetent leadership.”   
  
“We all do, Hyungwon, we all do.” She chuckled and walked out of his office, heels clicking over the wooden floor.

_ How the hell did you get trapped in the complex net created by Hoseok and Judith? _

Hyungwon sighed, perfectly aware that it had been his own decision and the curiosity to get to know the woman that had stolen Hoseok’s breath away for a whopping six years. He could understand, there was something to the older woman, bright personality and attractiveness intermixing nicely with the competence at what she was doing. He just wished he understood fully whatever it was that had happened between her and the man he was hopelessly in love with. Judith and him were so similar in a variety of ways. 

_ Is there something that the two of you don’t have in common? _

Hyungwon couldn’t think of anything, mind remaining painfully blank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 19th of May at 10 AM CET.
> 
> Get ready for the first showdown next chapter!
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think we are both going to regret it if I open this door,”

  
The black-haired woman walked into his office, sitting down on the couch, delicate hands immediately sorting the slides in a familiar way.   
  
_You showed her back then and she still does it._   
  
It was strange to be in a painfully common situation, everything appearing the same except for the emotional response. Hoseok took the time his ex was sorting the slides to observe the familiar face. The big, blue eyes jumped from one sheet to the next, plump, pink lips pouting a little while Judith was chewing on the inside of her cheek in concentration.   
  
_She’s beautiful._   
  
He kept his gaze on the slim but curvy body, lilac dress hugging the attractive hips and tight around the full breasts. The woman on his red leather couch was gorgeous, there was no point discussing it, but something was different. Although the response was there it seemed hollow.

Sure, he would've liked to have sex with her, see her scream his name and moan at the way he touched the attractive body, but there was no need. The tension was there but it was a fractional amount of what had been there before.   
  
The younger woman caught his gaze, smile spreading over the beautiful features.   
  
“Like what you see?” She chuckled and patted the seating space next to her, gesturing for him to sit down.   
  
“You are indeed nice to look at,” Hoseok commented, walking over and sitting down, making sure to keep a couple of centimeters space between them.   
  
“Why so shy? We’ve slept in one bed for years.” A genuine laugh followed and Judith slapped his thigh playfully.   
  
“This is true, but we’re also in the middle of a break up which makes us two people who decided to part ways. Furthermore I’m dating and I don’t think I would want to upset my partner,” he elaborated immediately, thinking about Hyungwon being absolutely furious, only because his ex was working in his company.   
  
The smile faded and turned into shock mixed with sadness.   
  
“Are you really dating, Hoseok? Are you serious? It’s not something you said to make me angry?” The lower lip trembled a little.

Judith cared.   
  
He turned such that his gaze was visible, eyes focused on the woman in front of him.   
  
“I’m serious, Judith. This is serious and it’s something I want and cherish. Let’s just deal with each other like adults. You left, you gave me an ultimatum, I declined. That’s it, there’s no going back so it won’t happen. You can be absolutely sure of it and you can also stop thinking that I’ll reconsider because I won’t,” he finished and sighed, watching how the pretty mouth opened, no sound coming out and eyes widening.   
  
_She didn’t expect that. She really thought you’d come back._   
  
“But- but you must know that it’s just a replacement for the emptiness. I feel empty too, everything feels empty. No matter where I go or what I do it’s like I walk around without an organ that was supposed to keep me alive. It’s just a replacement for me, Hoseok, you know that too right?” The voice sounded so unusually desperate, there wasn’t anything Hoseok could’ve said to persuade the woman he had loved before, besides the truth maybe.   
  
“It’s not a replacement. I’m in love, Judith. I’m in love with this person and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.” It was harsh, but it was the truth.   
  
_You haven’t told him. You haven’t told Hyungwon that you’re in love with him._   
  
He was a person of few words and would’ve said if the timing was right. It wouldn’t be an answer to a confession. It was a state of fact.   
  
The reaction was intense. The big, blue eyes got teary, each second passing added up before Judith stood up abruptly, walking towards the door and leaving all the documents on the table.   
  
_It’s fine. She’s hurt, but she’ll be fine. She needs to understand._   
  
_   
  
It was already dark. The clock showed 10PM and his luggage was already packed for the ridiculously early flight the next morning. He walked through the apartment, observing the details slowly, trying to remember things that were there before they made room for emptiness. Thinking hard about the arrangement of the books and things Judith had placed on the surfaces, he couldn’t remember anything besides the wedding picture in the black bookshelf, standing in front of the 1950 edition of Anna Karenina.   
  
A feeling of absolute emptiness filled his lungs as he tried to breath in.   
  
Maybe it’s true, maybe she’s right that you just try to fill her space with someone else.

 _Do you?_   
  
He shook his head, mind drifting into panic at the ungraspable feeling, searching for rational arguments and objective facts supporting or falsifying the hypothesis.

_You’re going nuts over nothing._

He hadn’t see Hyungwon for two days as the other had been busy with the marketing campaign, the smile and the light touch, the way the beautiful blue eyes looked at him started to seem like a hallucination, something he had imagined but that wasn’t real.

Sitting on the leather couch he closed his eyes and threw his head back, trying to picture the way Hyungwon had looked at him in the bathroom, skin shimmering in the dimmed light and telling him that he was everything the younger man wanted. He couldn’t, only the words, spoken in the female voice echoed inside his head, telling him that it was all just a replacement for the emptiness.  
  
_You’re scared, Hoseok. Why the fuck are you scared all of the sudden? Everything was fine before._   
  
Investment. It was always a problem of emotional investment. The more he liked Hyungwon, the more he was afraid that the other would reconsider, would get bored, change his mind and finally leave.   
  
_Your mind is not an accurate representation of what’s going on. You have to see him._   
  
Grabbing the keys of his mercedes, he slipped into the black chucks, threw a leather jacket over the t-shirt clad shoulder and ran down the stairs. The nightly streets of Paris were relatively empty as the next day was a workday and he came through perfectly, remembering the turns without navigation and parking the car in front of the old building.   
  
Pulling out his phone, he pressed the one and waited until the familiar low voice picked up the phone.   
  
“Hey. Want to go for a walk?” he asked, fumbling with the threads of the ripped jeans, sincerely hoping that the answer was a yes. He needed to see him.

There was only the sound of breathing in addition to the fluttering of paper followed by a dull sound, probably a book hitting the ground.

“Sure,” the younger man replied right after, fumbling noise continuing. “Just let me get dressed quickly.”  
  
“Okay, I’m in front of your place.” Hanging up he opened the convertible hood, fresh air surrounding him immediately and head almost automatically lifting to the stars. There weren’t a lot as it was in the middle of the city, but a couple of them were already enough to make Hoseok panic a little less.   
  
_See? They’re indifferent to you. It doesn’t matter, nothing does._

The front door opened, revealing Hyungwon, a little out of breath and looking as gorgeous as ever, even if his attire was unusual. The younger man wore a pair of tight black sweatpants, lose around the hips but curling smugly around the thighs and calves. The golden collar bones were visible through the v-cut of the white shirt, loose black button down hanging on only one shoulder.

Hyungwon perfectly pulled off the bed hair look although it wasn't clear whether he had styled it such or he actually looked like that when he woke up.

“Fuck, now I feel a little plain, with the fancy Mercedes and all,” the black-haired man murmured and leaned over the car, chewing his cheek. “Maybe I should change again.”  
  
Hoseok shook his head, closing his eyes shortly and smiling at the beautiful young man.   
  
“Get in.”

Hyungwon didn't hesitate long, basically jumping in excitedly and buckling up. Smiling back the younger threw his head on the neck rest and took a few deep breaths, apparently still out of breath from hurrying up.

“So, we walk by car?” he asked with a laugh.  
  
“No, we’re going for a walk, but we have to get there first,” Hoseok commented, starting the engine and preparing to find a parking spot somewhere at the l’Ile Saint Louis. “Why are you so out of breath? It’s 11PM.”

“Well, I was being smart and tried to go to bed particularly early so I could get up early for the flight and since you were apparently in front of my door there was no time to waste so I dressed in high speed, falling over books in the process.” Hyungwon laughed. “I'll probably have a bruise on my leg looking like someone kicked me.”  
  
Hoseok sighed and bit his lip, trying to concentrate on the traffic in front of himself while battling the wish to look to the right.   
  
_Just tell him the truth, there’s no point in playing around._   
  
“I guess you’ll have to calm down your anxious boyfriend instead. Sorry about that,” he murmured quietly.

“Bullshit, a rainbow basically shone out of my ass while getting dressed. Namjoon said I'm disgustingly in love after spending the last three hours trying to lecture me.” A warm hand was placed on his thigh, squeezing lightly as he could feel eyes on his face. “Why are you anxious though?”  
  
The touch sent warm sparks through his body, the fact that the other man was touching him already made the straining feeling a little better.   
  
“I might distrust my own judgement. It’s complicated, I guess it’s because I made sure to be absolutely alone during those four months and now if I don’t see you I get this strange feeling that all of it is just imagination.” Elaborating further he switched the hand on the wheel, gesturing with the right one. “I mean that I imagine you wanting to be with me and actually being with me.”

Hyungwon hummed, not replying immediately as the golden hand caressed his thigh, moving along the whole length before stopping at the middle, blue eyes focusing on him from the side again.

“I get a slightly similar feeling when I get input from outside, like I said- Namjoon lecturing me and telling me it's not the way I see it. It makes me doubt it, but I know better don't I? I see it and he doesn't,” the younger man replied calmly. “Does it feel wrong to you? Is that why it feels imaginary or just because you got used to the loneliness?”  
  
“It seems utopian. I am supposed to be lonely, you know? I was getting used to be alone, to not have anyone beside me, but now I’m starting to tell you all these things about me and the more I tell you, the more I get involved. I start knowing more about you and get sucked into all this. I’m just scared to experience the same thing all over again, I guess.” Hoseok pulled the car into a tight parking spot, not at the place he was actually going, but somewhere else.   
  
The Montmartre shone in the yellow lights, the streets of Paris lit up fifty meters below them. It was beautiful.   
  
_Aren’t you being uselessly romantic? What’s with the view?_

Hyungwon made a noise of amazement, resembling a scream, a rather happy one as he held onto the railing and glanced down, lights from below illuminating his face.

“Holy shit. This looks amazing, Hoseok.” Still smiling brightly the gorgeous man turned towards him, long fingers intertwining with his. “I don't think it's utopian, because if it was there wouldn't be any repercussions and we wouldn't be confronted with everything that speaks against it. The fact that we still go for it makes it more special.”

The younger man reached for his face with his free palm, cupping his chin and placing a kiss on his curved lips, blue eyes much brighter with the additional light.  
  
“We’re not in some kind of medieval drama, this is real life, this sucks and it will probably suck more for you than for me and I’m not sure that’s okay.” Lifting his head and facing the stars he tried to formulate what was so heavy on his mind, words not fitting with the emotions at all. “Actually this is all bullshit, because I still want it which means that it doesn’t matter that it sucks. The only thing that matters is the possibility that your motivation, emotion whatever fades after a short while. That’s what I’m concerned about. Also whether you really love me, like you say, or if it’s something different, something I can’t grasp and understand and that confuses me.”

He let his gaze slide down until it focused on the deep blue eyes once again. The view was taking his breath away, he was drowning and he loved every second of it.

“Ah, I shouldn’t have told you that back then. That the desert stares back when you glance at me.”

Hyungwon swallowed, holding his gaze without hesitation, fingers still grasping onto his.

“Why?”  
  
“Because it’s true.” Hoseok squeezed the wrist softly, thumb rubbing over the slightly cold skin.

“Your worries sound similar to what Namjoon said, but I still disagree that they are true. If it's not love, what do you think it is, Hoseok?” The beautiful man got closer, free arm curling around Hoseok’s neck and hips meeting, encouraging him to curl his own arm around the slim waist.   
  
_You can’t tell him that you love him after giving a lecture about your fear of him leaving you. That’s not a kindergarten conditioning session._   
  
“What did Namjoon say?” He curled both arms around the slim waist, almost melting at the touch, confirming the suspicion that meeting up had been a very good idea.

“Well,” Hyungwon began, teeth settling on the plump lower lip shortly before continuing, blue eyes remaining on Hoseok’s. “He thinks I'm just fascinated by the fact that you are older and more experienced, feeling curious about all those things you know and can show me and as soon as that difference in experience and fascination is gone so will the affection and love. Basically he thinks I might be wasting my time on something that doesn't require a relationship.” The younger sighed, resting his forehead against Hoseok’s and exhaling against his lips. “But he's wrong.”  
  
_Namjoon is rational. Such a smart guy._   
  
“And he’s wrong because-?” Hoseok asked, breathing against the plump lips while pressing the thin body closer. It was cold.

“Because your experience is not the reason I fell in love with you,” Hyungwon replied, kissing his curved lips before parting again, touch light but still breathtaking. “It might have been the reason why I wanted you, paired with attractiveness and dominance, but I didn't love you then.”

The beautiful man moved back, eye contact intense as a soft hand cupped his face, thumb caressing the pale cheek, plump lips remaining close to his own.

“I only fell in love when I saw more of you, Hoseok. The hurt, the thoughtfulness, the way you constantly stared at the sky.”  
  
For the first time in his life Hoseok genuinely wanted his life to be part of a medieval drama. One with a happy ending.

_  


He walked into the hotel lobby of the Hilton, nice interior quite enjoyable to the eye and pleasant scent filing his nostrils. It would’ve been absolutely amazing if his still wife hadn’t decided to come along with them, needing Hyungwon’s project presentation for the campaign.  
  
_Be happy that she’ll join tomorrow. You can have some alone time with Hyungwon._

“Got the room keys,” the younger man commented as he returned to his side from reception, holding the two key cards out like money, grin in place and free hand brushing through the styled black hair, returning stray strands to the back. “We both got rooms with a ‘marvellous’ night view.”

“That's stunning. Let's go up then.” Hoseok ripped a card out of the long, thin fingers and walked over to the elevator, pulling his luggage after himself.

The room was really beautiful and he spent most of the day working and working out, finishing the outline for two products and loving himself for being insanely productive. Being effective was always the best, giving him the feeling that he had control over his life.

It had already gotten late and he spent a little more time in the sauna than previously planned, pulling the black underwear over his butt and slipping into the black sweat pants he wore when he knew that there was no necessity to meet people.

There was a sudden knock on his door, soft but sure, echoing once through the empty hotel room. _  
_

_Hyungwon._

He pulled a black t-shirt over the naked chest and ruffled his semi wet hair once before opening the door and looking through the crack. _  
_

Hyungwon wore tight blue jeans and a loose black button down, texture a little silky and black hair just as wet as Hoseok’s, only less ruffled. A few black strands hung into the expressive blue eyes and there was a teasing smile on the younger man's lips.

“What did you do to your hair?” he asked with a chuckle and stepped in, sitting down on the couch chair at the side and crossing his legs elegantly.

Hoseok followed the handsome man and sat on the bed, pulling his legs up and changing into a cross legged position.

“I was at the sauna. You?”

“I took a shower, but I don't see how that is relevant. Have you finished the project update, are you a free man now?” Hyungwon lifted his right eyebrow in a teasing gesture, less effective when his bangs hung down and licked over his lips.

“Yes, I did everything that is due in a week so I'm free, but I also can't stop working so I'll think about a new task in a bit. And you? Ready for Saturday?” He observed the handsome features and the gaze which was pretty obvious.

_Tease._

“If by ‘ready’ you mean avoiding the first symptoms of a panic attack and attempting to distract myself from the fact that I have to present in front of an actual customer, then sure, as ready as it goes,” the beautiful black-haired man replied and rested his large palm on his own thigh, sliding forward a little as he rested his head on the other. A pink tongue licked over the plump lips as Hyungwon gestured towards the minibar with his eyes. “I think they might have the whisky you like. I forgot the name but back when I booked I saw it on the listed beverages. You have to admit that I’m an awesome assistant.”

“Goals,” Hoseok commented and stood up. Reaching the minibar he pulled two glasses from the top and got the promised whisky, pouring it such that the amount was equal in both glasses.

“So you decided to drink to forget that you're panicking? Or did you come to get drunk on the love?” Hoseok started laughing like a maniac, cringe almost painful.

It was hilarious as the younger man's eyes widened and he pulled his long legs almost to his chest, shaking his head furiously, probably to remove the words from his memories. When he had finally recovered, feet safely returning to the ground and teeth abusing his lower lip as before, the blue eyes settled on his, followed by a dramatic eye roll.

“The first. Holy shit, Hoseok, you really make jokes like my dad. Ugh.” Hyungwon stood up to grab his glass, brushing Hoseok’s crotch with his free hand on his way back but skilfully pretending to be unaware. “But of course in appropriate amounts, I want to be in superb condition tomorrow.”

“Don't you think it's weird to date someone like your dad?” he asked after taking a sip and climbing on the bed, back leaned against the headboard and legs bent.

Hyungwon's face turned to him so quickly that one might have worried about the younger man snapping his neck, expression deadpan.

“Saying that your humour is like my dad’s is my way of telling you it sucks. It in no way suggests that you are like my dad, which you sure as fuck aren't,” the black-haired man hissed, standing up and crawling on top of the bed, holding his glass to the side to not spill any of the liquid on top of the sheets. Pushing Hoseok’s legs further apart with his thighs Hyungwon kneeled down between them, staring while taking a tentative sip of his drink. “Luckily your humour isn't the reason I like you.”

“My humour is perfectly fine. I also think that you kneeling between my legs is in no way a comfortable position to enjoy a drink.” Grinning brightly he took another slow sip.

“As you wish, Mister.“ Hyungwon merely returned the grin, leaning against the headboard with one arm as he used it for leverage to sit down next to Hoseok, slim knee brushing his crotch in the process. Closing his eyes the younger man tilted his head back, showing the golden skin of his neck, shimmering reflections revealing the beginnings of a chain that appeared to continue under the silk-like button down, fuelling Hoseok’s imagination.

“Damn, imagine how excited I would've gotten because of your inconspicuous touching if I was still in puberty. What a bummer.” He licked his lips and took another sip of the tasty burning liquid, not swallowing it down completely but leaning in instead, parting the plump lips and licking inside Hyungwon's delicious mouth, rest of the whisky intermingling with the kiss.

The gorgeous man gasped into the touch, lapping at the rest of the taste with his tongue, sliding slowly over both of their lips before parting and establishing eye contact.

“And that is not ‘excited’?” Hyungwon asked, grin returning to the attractive features.

“Nah, that's me trying to determine what's more to my taste. You or the whisky.” He gulped down the rest and put the glass on the bedside table, gaze focusing on the blue eyes.

The younger man bit down on his lower lip as he watched the way Hoseok swallowed down the liquid, twirling the whiskey in his own glass before taking a longer sip, again uncovering more of his throat.

“Would you be interested in tasting something else,” he began once he swallowed, using his free hand to open the first two buttons of the black silk covering his chest, silver chain dividing into intricate patterns below the fabric. It contrasted beautifully with the golden skin, hinting at more the lower it got. “Apart from my lips.”

Hoseok hummed, tongue sliding over his mouth automatically while he crawled on top of the beautiful man, placing kisses over the golden skin that went from the delicate neck to the chain hanging around it. Hyungwon was more than attractive, he was indeed like a rare and especially delicious candy.

A smile passed over the plump mouth, like the other man had gotten what he wanted. The mesmerizing red lips parted a little at the sensations but Hyungwon didn't touch Hoseok in return, eyes darkening visibly.

“So what does it feel like to be wanted like this?” he asked, continuing the path of his tongue, before he looked up, dipping a finger into the rest of Hyungwon’s whisky and sliding the wet digit along the erect nipple, licking over it right after. Whisky aroma developing on his tongue in addition to Hyungwon’s own distinct taste.

He could feel how the lean chest rose under his ministrations, a hiss sounding above him. The younger man was indeed rather sensitive, hand with the whiskey glass almost tilting enough to spill it.

“Addictive,” the low voice whispered above him in response.

“You're so addictive.” He pulled the glass out of the shaky hand, gaze fixed on the younger man in front of him before he unbuttoned the black shirt, pulling it aside with his free hand and settled at the height of Hyungwon’s navel, tongue sliding out of his mouth to catch the liquid. He poured a little over the golden chest and watched how the equally golden liquid made its way under the chain and over the toned stomach before it landed inside his mouth. He swallowed the tasty mixture and licked his lips before licking up the trail.

The previously barely audible hisses slowly developed into quiet moans as the younger man's lean abdominal muscles contracted at the touch, hands fisting the sheets and blue eyes wide to not miss anything. Hyungwon appeared affected by the way Hoseok combined his taste with that of whisky, bodily reaction visible as well as traceable.

Biting down on his plump lower lip the black-haired man shifted one of his long legs, positioning it such that he could stroke along Hoseok’s chest and between his legs by sliding it down, blue eyes darker but still attentive.

Hoseok continued, placing the glass on the side. He used the short break to slide the blue jeans down the long legs and throw them to the side along with the rest of his clothes. The way Hyungwon looked lying on the white sheets was simply stunning, golden skin shimmering and silver body chain gracing most of the lean chest.

_He's intending on becoming the hottest person you've ever met._

Hoseok took the glass and let a little flow into the navel, dipping his tongue inside and drawing lines towards the other man's crotch, kissing every bit of skin that was next to it. He was delicious, absolutely delicious.

Hyungwon cursed quietly and slid further down on the bed, hands digging into a different area of the white sheets and legs spreading a little. Teeth settled down on the lower lip as the younger man watched Hoseok intently, unwilling to break the eye contact as he finally separated his hand from the fabric and raked fingers through black hair instead, pulling Hoseok closer to the golden skin.

Getting rid of the empty glass and drinking the rest of the whisky out of Hyungwon’s navel, Hoseok licked his lips repeatedly to get rid of the rest alcohol, to not irritate the sensitive skin he was about to taste. Using the time he slid his tongue along the prominent veins, tracing them and sucking on the smooth skin of the younger man's perfect erection.

“Fuck, I always melt when you touch me, Hoseok,” Hyungwon murmured and pulled at his hair, trying to get him closer, slim hips lifting almost automatically as the blue disappeared from the big eyes, blackness and intensity remaining. “Play with me.”

Suddenly the touch in his hair got painful as the younger man pulled him away and lifted himself up, pushing Hoseok’s shoulders to the mattress and sitting down on top of his lap, pupils blown and lips like plump cherries.

“Or I'll just play with you.”

He looked up at the perfection that was naked Chae Hyungwon wearing a silver chain over his upper body and his mouth spread in a smile, wish to spoil the other man with everything he wanted prominent.

“Let's see if you can play well.” He grabbed one thread of the chain and pulled the beautiful man into a deep kiss. A moan was muffled by their connected lips as the younger rolled his hips against him, friction increasing and pleasure coursing through him.

“You bet,” Hyungwon gasped before pulling off the black shirt with skilled fingers and letting his lips travel lower, sucking and biting on the skin of Hoseok’s neck, probably leaving small marks that continued until his chest, plump lips closing around a nipple and sucking harshly. The black-haired man kept one hand on his pec muscle, rubbing up and down as the other dug into Hoseok’s thigh behind him.

Gliding lower along his firm body Hyungwon pressed kisses on his abs and navel, tongue licking under the waistband of his sweatpants as fingers dug into his hip bones.

Hoseok hissed at the touch that the plump lips provided in combination with the skilled tongue, sensations intense and fuelled by the mesmerizing sight.

Smirking Hyungwon lifted the sweatpants with an index finger at the same time with the underwear, licking over the tip of his dick tentatively as he watched Hoseok’s reaction with large eyes.

He let it twitch against the addictive tongue on purpose, smirking at the handsome man.

“I want you.”

“Good,” the younger man replied, reaching behind himself in a quick motion and ripping open a condom package with his teeth as he used the other hand to pull Hoseok’s sweatpants down, climbing on top of his lap again and rolling his hips, not remaining still for even a second as the condom was rolled over his erection and covered with lube.

Watching him intently Hyungwon lined up, teasing both of them with the first few centimetres, hips moving smoothly but not down.

“Want more?” the younger man asked, voice breathless but facial expressions teasing. He looked amazing almost sitting on top of him, covered with a shimmering silver chain and beautifully naked.

“Ah, it's really tempting to push you down on me and to pull you closer by the pretty chain you're wearing, but I'll be nice today so, yes I want more, I want all of it, Hyungwon.” He groaned the last words, twitching inside the sensual body.

The fully blown eyes widened at the words as the beautiful black-haired man bit his lip and stabilised himself with the help of the muscular chest, rolling his way down and moaning at the way it felt. Hyungwon cursed as soon as he was fully seated, thighs shivering against Hoseok’s repeatedly and fingers scratching over his pale skin.

“I'll give you everything you want and more, Hoseok,” the plump lips whispered as the slim body rose with a smooth motion and dropped harshly, screaming at the sensation, only to repeat it again, head thrown back.

Hyungwon felt so good, the whole game they were playing always ended in the conclusion that they were a perfect match. The handsome man had everything Hoseok liked, the way he never complied without a fight, how he switched from dominance to submission in an instant, throwing all of himself, begging and making Hoseok see stars, getting the most out of him at all times.

He moaned, thrusting up along with Hyungwon’s pace, fingers sliding up the lean thighs until they arrived at the firm ass, squeezing it and feeling how he moved in and out of the mesmerizing body.

“Fuck, I missed you inside of me,” the black-haired man gasped, increasing the speed and force with which he dropped down and leaving half moon shaped marks on Hoseok’s skin with his blunt nails. Blush spread along the slim neck and over the lean chest as the younger man continuously screamed at each well aimed thrust, body convulsing and repeatedly murmuring ‘yes’ to make Hoseok repeat the sensation. “Drive me mad.”

Hoseok pushed the slim hips down on himself and turned them, Hyungwon’s back clashing against the mattress. He threw the lean legs over his shoulders, lifting the other man's hips a little and slammed forward into the beautiful body.

The way the ethereal human below him screamed his name was otherworldly, arms attaching to the sheets next to the pretty face as the plump mouth remained parted, screams and his name not stopping from entering his ears.

“Fuck, please don't stop, just like that, please,” Hyungwon begged and threw his head to the side, appearing delirious and melting at each touch, slim legs pulling him closer.

He leaned forward, almost bending the younger man in half as he continued his pace, moaning and grabbing the beautiful chain, pulling Hyungwon closer and catching the lower lip with his teeth, breathing against it, gaze intense and focused on the almost black eyes.

“Y-you make me feel so many things, Hoseok,” the beautiful man whispered, interrupted by loud screams and lip bites, body hot and giving in to every movement of his. Hyungwon held the gaze, curling his arms around Hoseok’s neck and moaning against his lips, pulling at the black strands of his hair. “I fucking love you.”

“I'm giving myself to you, you just need to take it,” Hoseok moaned against the red, swollen lips, pulling at the chain tightly and hitting the sensitive spot a couple of times in succession, going all out like the other man liked it, thrusts getting rougher and faster.

Hyungwon was unable to reply, eyes closing as screams and the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the air, fingers desperately pulling at his hair and scratching along his back, most likely leaving dark red lines behind. A few more harsh thrusts were sufficient to feel how the beautiful young man tensed, body clenching around his erection as the younger released himself between them, without being touched.

It was intense, him and Hyungwon were like nitroglycerin and fire, exploding and burning everything down.

He loosened his grip on the chain and pressed his lips against the plump, red ones, sliding in and out of the addictive body, sweat shimmering on the golden skin and chain moving with the thrusts. Hoseok tensed, burying himself as deep as he could and released himself inside Hyungwon, who was panting against his mouth.

Almost collapsing, he caught himself on one elbow and pressed his sweaty forehead against the slim shoulder, lips leaving kisses against the wet skin repeatedly.

_You love him. You really love him, Hoseok. Fuck._

“You. You're everything that I want,” he whispered almost to himself.

The beautiful man was still breathless, brushing sweaty hair out of his face and smiling at him, expression blindingly bright.

“I also don't want anything apart from you, Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered, kissing his lips before parting and frowning shortly. “Apart from tissues and us always being alone, I guess.”

He chucked, reaching to the side and pulling the tissues out of the box, leaning back and wiping the remains of Hyungwon’s release.

“Yeah, nobody can compete with tissues.”

Hyungwon laughed loudly, slapping his shoulder playfully and relaxing against the sheets.

“You know that's not what I meant. I just want you for myself,” the beautiful man whispered and curled his fingers around Hoseok’s wrist, hinting at him to come closer. “Just like this, forever.”

“Sounds tempting,” he whispered, not monitoring his facial expressions and leaning closer. It was very intimate, the way he lay over the slim, golden body, skin touching and warmth transcending between them.

“Now that I think about it, being close to you seems like an absolutely terrific idea. There's no siren in my head telling me that I went nuts.”

“Was there before?” Curiosity appeared as Hyungwon shifted and curled his arms properly around Hoseok’s neck, pulling their chests flush, deep blue eyes staring up at him. “For me it was more like a light nudge in the side that I ignored.”

“Well more like a wall, not letting anything through. That's why it's important to be on the same side of the wall.“ He placed a kiss on the round nose and the plump lips.

“Hoseok, what would you have done if you hadn't met me?” The golden body curled fully around him, legs intertwining and head pressing into the crook of his neck. “Would you have returned to Judith after confessing to her that you cannot bless her with a child?”

_What? No._

“I wouldn't have gone back. Her making that decision back then was accompanied by a decision from my side to not go back because the schemes in which we communicated were somehow crooked from the start.” He leaned over and stroked the black hair, asking himself how the beautiful man could talk about relationships with Hoseok still being balls deep inside him.

“I wouldn't have done anything in particular. I developed a routine to leave no space for thoughts or regret, nostalgia or anything else, so that I was relatively fine before you started occupying my thoughts.” He whispered the last words before placing a kiss on top of the black hair. “I'll get rid of the condom, okay?”

Hyungwon nodded while watching him, hissing shortly as Hoseok pulled out and curling around the blanket right after, blue eyes remaining on him.

“You’re bullshitting, Hoseok,” the younger man commented. “You weren’t fine at all. You spaced out, stared at the sky without a break and became completely unavailable to your surroundings, making Kihyun and everybody around you worry.”

Crawling under the blanket and curling both arms around the warm body, Hoseok sighed, thinking about the time Hyungwon must've meant.

“The sky is beautiful, one should look up more often because one tends to look to the ground all the time,” he commented, placing a kiss against the shell of Hyungwon’s ear.

“It wasn't fine for Kihyun because he wanted me to talk to Judith and it wasn't fine for those who wanted more of my attention that I wasn't willing to give. I didn't feel in pain and that had been the goal.” Hoseok leaned back a little catching the other man's gaze. “I didn't cry. Not even once.”

Hyungwon didn’t look relieved at all at the words, staring at him as if he had committed a crime, eyes wide and mouth opened.

“Are you fucking mental, Hoseok?” he explained, visibly baffled at Hoseok’s response. “As a psychologist you should know perfectly well that anhedonia is not really a way to solve problems and in order to deal with critical life events letting out the emotions is crucial. What did not crying give you except for meaningless pride?”

“I'm not proud, it's just a fact. That's the difference between us, I tell you facts and you immediately attribute emotions, although they weren't there in the first place. As a psychologist I searched for the most fitting solution to my problem deciding for indifference by getting rid of any stimuli to be able to work and function in daily life. It was fine until you came and started asking me things and reminding me that there was more of me before.” He paused, licking his lips shortly. “Making me want to pull it back out.”

Hyungwon frowned, chewing on his cheek and appearing to feel a mixture of worry and anger, long fingers playing around with the sheets without a particular goal.

_He doesn't like it because it means you could do the same thing again._

“Well, I am ‘sorry’ for pulling you out of your pretence state of ‘indifference’. You can’t be telling me that it was real. You just forced it to be because as soon as she was concerned, mentioned or appeared in front of you the emotions hit back home like a fucking wrecking ball.” The younger man huffed and pulled the blanket higher up, covering his neck. “You could have done a mass of things to remain functioning, like counselling, or actually talking to your friends about it instead of eating it up until someone pushed you out of your comfort zone.”

_Right. The twenty-year-old will tell you how to deal with a planned divorce._

He looked to the side and rolled his eyes at the suggestions.

“I'm so happy that you were such a good student, remembering all this, but it's real life. In real life I couldn't have burdened my friends because all of them are our common friends, I had a fucking company to lead and the main partner left, who happened to be Judith so I had the double amount of work. You have no idea how it was the first week, you would've cried while watching.” Hoseok crawled back and slid into his underwear and black jeans, pulling the shirt over his head.

_You don't need to tell him how you sat in the hallway in front of the fucking door for three days without eating, barely moving and hoping that she'd come back. What counselling?_

“I’m sorry, Hoseok,” the low voice murmured suddenly, eyes breaking the stare and focusing on the way the long fingers played with the blanket instead, discomfort obvious. Hyungwon was chewing on the inside of his cheek, probably thinking about what to say. “I wouldn’t know. I keep forgetting that there are so many factors to a situation, I shouldn’t have judged you just like that. I’m glad that you feel better now.”

“I don't.” He threw the leather jacket over his shoulder and grabbed the card. “I'll go for a walk. See you later.”

“Hoseok, wait!” the younger man called after him, desperation soaking the lowly spoken words. “Did I upset you for you to leave like that? Please don’t.”

_Just go._

_No. Going away without a reason sucks. Don't be like that._

“I have the feeling that I need to go,” he murmured, looking at the ceiling. “You just manage to stab where it hurts.”

“I’m sorry, please let me explain myself,” Hyungwon whispered in return, climbing off the bed, still naked, and curling his arms around his waist, head resting on his shoulder. “I’m just still trying to understand your relationship, it built so much of you and your character and I feel like I need to comprehend it to see all of you. I am sorry if my comments and words hurt you. I will stop.”

“But you can't stop, because it's me who let's you.” He still stared at the ceiling, hating the emotions that flooded his brain, making it hard to breathe and forcing a decision into action. “If someone hurts me there are two possibilities for me, leaving the situation to calm down the emotional response and being able to deal with it rationally, or turning numb and distant such that I won't care.”

The slim arms let go of his waist as Hyungwon stepped back, building up distance and biting down on his lower lip as he glanced at Hoseok’s face, expression impossibly emotional, almost painful.

“It’s okay, I will wait here.”

_Special. He's special._

It was strange but he suddenly didn't want to go anywhere.

“But then there's you, hugging me and showing me that you care so I don't want to leave anymore. What is this?” He covered his face with both palms, groaning and enjoying the darkness for a couple of seconds.

“Hoseok, if previously you didn’t have someone to talk about your emotions with, then maybe-” Hyungwon stopped talking, affection and tenderness in the low voice threatening to overflow, deep breaths meant to calm it before he continued. “Maybe now you do.”

He slid the jacket down his shoulders and pulled the shirt over his head, before getting rid of the rest of his clothes, remaining naked like the man in front of him.

Hoseok walked over and curled both arms around the slim waist, pressing the warm body impossibly close, so close that he didn't know if there was space.

He didn't want any space.

“I don't need to talk. Just like this, it's fine just like this.”

Hesitant long fingers began caressing his back, sinking into his hair and stroking over his scalp, motions calm and tender, impossibly affectionate.

“Please tell me how I hurt you, Hoseok. I need to learn, learn to read you, to know you better so that I can make you happy instead.” A sigh left the plump lips as they pressed to the skin below Hoseok’s ear, warm breath hitting the shell of it. “I am only at the tip of the iceberg but there is so much below the water.”

_There is._

_  


Judith had wanted to go for lunch after checking in so they went down to the lobby, giggling in the elevator about the last seconds of freedom, Hyungwon looking amazing as ever, style on point and face mesmerizing.

_Yay for eating with your wife and boyfriend._

Sitting down on the comfortable couch he observed the ridiculously attractive woman gesturing and laughing at the receptionist, who happened to be male and hot. Judith was wearing black suit pants and a red blouse, hugging her waist and breasts perfectly, combined with red insanely high heels.

_She still thinks that it sucks being short._

“It was nice knowing you, let's see how the rest of the day goes,” Hoseok murmured and smiled at the blue-eyed man who had sipped on his espresso while crossing his legs.

“At least she’s pleasant company and nice to look at,” the younger man whispered back and grinned, blowing him a kiss inconspicuously before he returned his gaze to reception, unusually serious. “Love ya.”

Hoseok smiled, happy like a kid, before doing the same and observing how the gorgeous woman turned around and walked over to them, heels echoing through the huge lobby. She had a black bag with her, outfit coordinated like always.

Grinning shamelessly she caught his gaze, relatively unusual considering the tensed situation a couple of days before.

“The receptionist was cute. He thought they made a mistake. Asked me whether he should put me inside your room, being all like ‘Mrs. Shin, we didn't know that you were here with your husband. Mr. Shin has the room on the second floor’. It was hilarious.”

His eyes widened and he narrowed his gaze.

“I hope you didn't say yes.”

“Of course I didn't, you emotionless stone, don't act as if I'm the worst person to stay in a hotel room with.” The expression turned sulky in a split second. “Does the woman you're dating know that you're actually a married man? Must be funny dating a married guy,” Judith hissed at him while turning to Hyungwon and leaning in for a hug.

_What are they? Best friends?_

The younger man was staring at him, eyes wide in shock as Judith’s small form only covered him up to the chest, hug tense with the way the slim arms curled around his still-wife’s waist, barely touching. As some time passed it was clear that Hyungwon wasn’t breathing.

_He doesn't think you're dating a woman, right?_

“It's not a woman, it's a man. Of course he knows with all the mess that you created around me. Let's go.” He patted the slim shoulder but was immediately met with a shocked expression.

“A man? Are you joking? I thought it was your college phase?” Judith was out to stab people in the guts.

“Yes, a man. He's amazing and now let's go.” He stood up, a little worried about Hyungwon’s expression and waiting to see the other man alone to ask.

“The more you talk the more it sounds like a fucking prank, Hoseok.” Judith followed after him, holding onto his sleeve, pretending to be in need of it.

“I know right,” Hyungwon murmured in response, voice so much unlike him, soaked in sarcasm as the younger man didn't even look in his direction as he merely walked forward, fists curled at his sides.

_This is a mess, Hoseok._

_He's upset and you have no idea why._

_Fuck._  


***  


Euphoria was a funny thing. One second it was there and the next it disappeared just like the flame of a candle, as long as the burst of air was strong enough.

The words had already been spoken, sounds not present in the air anymore but still they kept repeating in Hyungwon’s head as if the constant reminder would make them any less real, or any less true.

_Do you know that you’re dating a married man?_

His throat closed up again, breaths irregular and unwilling to leave his chest as he forced his expressions to remain calm, feeling anger and the wish to run away and cry bubbling in his veins. He suppressed it, following the regular noise that Judith’s high heels produced on the ground, praying that he would find the way to the restaurant without having to see Hoseok’s face, fists curled up at his sides and palms hurting from the strength with which he buried his nails in them.

_He didn’t think it would be relevant to tell you that he was married._

_Fucking married instead of right after a break-up._

Hyungwon wanted to punch him, so badly, just to feel what it would be like and if it could make the anger disappear, just flow down like through a drain. It probably couldn’t, but the feeling that it was the only proper action remained, hurt and anger turning into a potent cocktail of sarcasm and covered up actions. He couldn't express himself. He had to act civil and unconcerned while eating dinner with Hoseok and his fucking wife. It was like a bad movie, irony of fate. Just that in all of them the main characters were better actors than him and had a fucking happy end.

_He was probably hiding it on purpose, aware of what it meant._

_You’re someone who is taking a husband away from a wife._

His eyes burned but he glanced at the boring ceiling to control himself, putting a bit more distance between the married couple and himself. Maybe the older woman would believe he was attempting to give them some privacy, to talk and figure out whatever it was that they wished to figure out.

His hands were shivering when they finally arrived at the restaurant, Judith strategically sitting down across from Hoseok and leaving Hyungwon the option of either looking at him or at her. He chose to look at the older man, feeling like a slip in his facial expressions was less detrimental.

_Why are you even bothering? Can’t you just fuck off?_

He bit his lip and focused on the menu, drowning in it as much as he could to not lose his composure, hurt sinking deeper the longer he thought about it. Various scenarios in which Hoseok could have corrected him collected in front of his inner eye, pointing out how much it seemed like deception, possibilities to clear it up endless.

Hoseok was just staring, the intense gaze remained on his face although Judith was probably able to see it. It wasn't the way a boss looked at his assistant.

“Do you want to drink wine?” Hoseok pierced through him, eyes not letting go even for a second.

_He has no fucking idea, does he?_

“Is it some kind of staring contest, Hoseok? Leave the poor boy alone,” Judith commented and squeezed his shoulder.

Hyungwon suppressed a shudder, uncomfortable with both of them next to him, staring and interpreting his behaviour, making conclusions while nothing changed about the basic facts. They were married and Hyungwon was like a bird sitting on top of the already closed wedding ribbon, a third wheel.

“I’ll drink whatever you two drink. I don’t have any preferences,” he murmured before covering his face with the menu, feeling more calm to stare at the black letters, meaningless but less prone to make him cry in public. Shit, it hurt. It really hurt.

They kept talking about the campaign, the transfer of the shares and about the new product, how Kihyun needed to work less to be able to maintain a relationship and all those absurdly meaningless things while the drinks came and he had to lift his glass.

_You can’t do this, Hyungwon._

“Please excuse me, I’ll be right back,” he commented and forced a smile, lips spreading and narrowing his eyes to make it more realistic, aware that they wouldn’t do it on their own, happiness far from present. Nodding at both of them Hyungwon stood up, avoiding any more eye contact and walked through the restaurant with quick steps, looking for the bathroom before he finally found it, closing himself inside a cubicle, unable to contain a whimper as his eyes burned.

A minute must've passed before someone walked in and he heard steps that stopped right in front of his cubicle.

“What's wrong, Hyungwon, did something happen?” Hoseok's low voice echoed through the space. Apparently the rest of the cubicles weren't occupied so the older man had immediately found him.

_‘Did something happen?’_

Hyungwon couldn’t believe the audacity, anger so intense that his fingers began shaking, lips trembling and body resting against the wall, slowly slipping down as he tried to breathe.

“Fuck off, Hoseok,” he hissed, desire to cry only stronger the angrier he got. Maybe he should have hurt Hoseok more if that was how the older man was able to make him feel.

“Okay, I got that you're angry at me, I just didn't get why, can you open the door, please?” The calmness of the voice was annoying. The older man couldn’t genuinely be oblivious to the fact that he had been lying to Hyungwon for at least a month, could he?

“I think we are both going to regret it if I open this door,” he replied and buried his nails in his palms, hoping that the intense pain would numb the anger a little, make him space out until Hoseok would finally leave and go talk to his wife instead, leave Hyungwon to his anger and disappointment. “Go to your wife. She’s probably waiting.”

“Why would I go there? I'm interested in the fact that you're angry at me and hiding in a fucking toilet cabin instead of talking to me, so why the fuck would I leave?” Hoseok got more emotional, voice sounding more caring and desperate than before. “Why would I regret it if you open the door?”

_He really doesn’t know, does he?_

Hyungwon bit his lip, so hard that he could taste iron on his tongue, pulling his body up from the ground and unlocking the stall door, hands still shivering with how he opened the door.

“Because I might hit you, Hoseok,” he whispered, feeling the familiar burning in his eyes, vision getting a little blurry but he held it in, nails digging into his palms again.

The other stepped in and locked the door from the inside, eyes roaming over his face intently.

“Your lip is bleeding, fuck.” The expression turned worried, but Hoseok hesitated to touch him. “Then just hit me or whatever and then tell me what the problem is.”

Of course Hoseok had to take the only possibility he saw to calm down away from him by offering it willingly, throwing away the purpose and making him feel like the one who should be apologizing, which was bullshit.

“Fine,” Hyungwon hissed, lifting his fist and straight out punching Hoseok in the face, sensation painful against his knuckles and not giving him the satisfaction he had hoped for, only hurt taking up most of the space as the first tear managed to escape its confinement and rolled down his cheek. Not hesitating long he wiped it with the back of his hand, attempting to hide the outburst, licking over the bruised part of his lip.

Hoseok didn't expect it but was very fast in his reactions, turning a little to the side such that the hit went against the jaw, before turning back and staring at him, the black eyes widened after he had wiped his tear but the body remained rigid.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Hyungwon wanted to faint, break through the fucking ground so he wouldn’t have to look at that face anymore, wouldn’t have to deal with the fact that he was helplessly in love with a married man.

“You piece of shit apparently didn’t consider it necessary to tell me that you were married, did you?” Hyungwon spit, vision turning only more blurry as the reality of the words sunk in, always more intense once it was spoken with one’s own voice, facts burning right through and constricting his chest. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me, Hoseok.”

The gaze lost all its intensity as the familiar eyes widened and a spark of understanding spread on the handsome face.

“Wait, are you telling me you didn't know that Judith is my still-wife? How? Everybody at the company calls her ‘Mrs. Shin’. The lawsuit was because of the division of assets, why would she have the shares otherwise?” The stare got more intense with every spoken word.

_Were you the only oblivious one? Happily thinking you got him just for yourself?_

“I don’t talk to anybody but Kihyun, Hoseok. He calls her Judith, how the fuck would I know?” The anger returned full force, pain returning to his palms, marks burying deeper. “You said she was your partner with the company, of course she would have shares. How the fuck was I supposed to know? Not even once have you talked about marriage, or her being your fucking wife.”

Taking a deep breath he wiped over his face again, scared that the mixture of anger and hurt just made him seem more pathetic, slim and unable to do anything about his situation.

“Do you have any fucking idea what that makes me, Hoseok?” he whispered, teeth returning to the hurt lower lip, iron taste spreading. “The idiot, it makes me the idiot who had no fucking idea what was going on and fell in love with you, turning into the dumb pretty one who steals a husband away from his wife because he’s attractive. That’s what it makes me.”

Hoseok looked at him, sadness covering the features one by one, facial expression almost painful to watch.

“I was sure that you knew, I would’ve told you otherwise. It's still legal until the lawsuit or her consent but I don't have anything in common with her besides my last name until then and beyond. But you and her are indeed similar if you think I still belong to her and you're the one ‘stealing me’. How about you just figure it out together then? You don't need me for that.” Hoseok turned the lock and opened the door.

_You know how he feels about her, it has nothing to do with that._

“I’m not upset because I feel like I am stealing you away. I know how you feel about her, Hoseok. I don’t know how divorce proceedings work and that isn’t even really the point right now.” His voice became quiet, some of the anger dissipating and making room for the disappointment he felt, betrayal at being the only one who didn’t know.

“It’s just- I feel like I would have had a choice if I knew back then, more of a choice to understand what I am dealing with, but now it’s too late. I’m in too deep.” Hyungwon bit his lip again, tears rolling down his face without his consent. “I feel like I would have liked to have it.”

Hoseok walked out before turning around and looking at him once again.

“I asked you whether you wanted to be in a relationship with me, thinking that you knew my situation. But now it seems that you didn't you can decide again. Tell me your decision when you think that you're sure.” The broad figure turned back towards the door and walked out.

A bitter smile crept up on his lips, hurt and at the same time disbelief that Hoseok was still of the opinion that Hyungwon had a say in his feelings and what he wanted for himself.

_You don’t. You want him._

Washing his face repeatedly and returning his hair to the previous orderly fashion Hyungwon forced himself to come back to the dinner table, seeing their three glasses of wine and forcing himself to smile despite the burning sensation in his chest.

“I’m sorry that I took so long,” he commented and sat down next to Judith, placing a hand on her shoulder shortly as he usually would.

“Did you argue or something? You both look like you’re about to cry, or did your date ditch you, Hoseok?” Judith laughed before she saw Hoseok’s face.

 _You can’t ditch him._ _  
_

“He didn't. I made a mistake,” the older man commented and took a big gulp of the wine.

“His date is pretty attached and wouldn’t ditch him just like that. Probably just needs some time,” Hyungwon replied as calmly as he could, meeting Hoseok’s gaze in the process and taking a sip of his own wine. It felt strange to be talking about himself in third person in front of his boyfriend’s wife. His life was a fucking mess, Namjoon had been right about everything growing over his head way too quickly if he wasn’t careful.

Judith turned towards him, surprise visible on the beautiful face.

“You know who he's dating? He wasn't lying?”

_She still doesn’t believe him._

“It’s a little hard not to after Kihyun and him had a rather extensive argument about it while I was sitting on his couch.” Hyungwon chose the most truthful and at the same time least revealing answer, crossing his legs under the table and watching Hoseok’s face to determine whether he felt equally strange. The hurt still remained in his chest but the desire to be hugged and reassured of the older man’s affection was more urgent.

Hoseok looked equally hurt somehow, fingers playing with the fork and not eating the brought food.

“How about we talk about something less sensitive and eat the food before it gets cold?” Hyungwon asked in between, placing a hand on Judith’s shoulder again to calm her and brushing over Hoseok’s calf with his leg. He was upset but he didn’t want to discuss his problems in third person. If he had to be civil with both of them it better be about work or something he could distract himself with, pain moving to the back and consequences not really sinking in.

_Except for the fact that you are dating a married man, even if he is in the process of leaving her._

Swallowing Hyungwon dug his fingers into the fabric of his suit pants, sensation numbing the pain in his chest a little as realization after realization began pouring down on him.

Legally he is still hers no matter how much you love him or how he feels about you.  
  
You’re the young lover of a married man.

_  


It was peculiar how an object could harbor comfort in all possible scenarios and make one believe that it was always a source of comfort until that fact suddenly changed, negative emotional response stronger and forcing it to appear painfully hard and cold. The soft sheets of his bed had turned into a harsh reminder.

A reminder that Hyungwon still had to deal with the fact that he was in London, far away from home, stuck in a hotel with his boyfriend and apparently the wife thereof. A day before the most important presentation in his life.

He was lying on the freshly done sheets, not bothering to undress, suit tight around his body and fingers playing with his phone, contemplating on whether he was hurt enough to give up on his pride and call his best friend. It was stupid, he knew that, but it was still hard for him to share problems, to open up and admit that he encountered a situation that he couldn't deal with himself. It made him appear fucking weak.

_Like a piglet, caught inside the hay house._

A sudden vibration passed through his arm, mobile phone ringing all by itself without the usual dubstep tune, just the tingling sensation along his arm.

_You're not the one calling, it's okay._

“How are you? Are you bored to death or do you have visitors again, like yesterday? You confuse the shit out of me, Hyungwon. I thought you're dating someone already, why are you meeting random people while abroad?” Namjoon’s voice was structured and a little distant as if he had prepared a speech that he was moving through, words raining down on Hyungwon without a break and pointing out the values of faithfulness and its importance for a healthy relationship. It would have been almost funny had Hyungwon not felt like crying for the past two hours.

“He's married,” he whispered into the phone and fought the way his throat clogged up, a tear making its way down his cheek without as much as a warning, hurt spreading quickly and not giving him the peace he yearned for.

“W-what?” his best friend stuttered into the phone, monologue interrupted and comment not fitting into any of the addressed points. Hyungwon would have apologized but he just didn't have the strength, disappointment coming back and reminding him of what it meant. “Who’s married?”

It was strange. Hyungwon was perfectly aware of the fact that Hoseok had no interest in returning to his wife and that currently the black-haired man must have felt more affection for him than for anybody else, but still the mere fact that he was legally bound to another woman was hurtful. It didn't have to mean anything, but it did, even if it was just in his head.

“Hoseok is.” His voice sounded unpleasant, a little muffled, so much unlike him. Namjoon could probably tell, voice turning softer as the other man replied after a break.

“He is married and didn't tell you? Wow, that's- ouch.” There was silence again as both of them breathed into the phone. “Was he hiding you from his wife? Is that why you never brought him over?”

_Not at all. Hoseok never bothered to hide you much except with Kihyun._

“They broke up, so he wasn't really hiding me. I thought it was a simple breakup but apparently it was much more than that. Fuck, I feel like such a cheap fling in a movie, the one taking someone's husband away because they're dumb and hot.” His voice cracked at the end and he covered his head with the pillow, breathing against the suffocating fabric to calm down a little.

“But if he's leaving his wife anyway he's not doing it because of you is he?” There was a little bit of noise, Namjoon getting out a beer from the fridge. “So you didn't break anything, you're just waiting at the bus stop for the bus to arrive and apparently it just came before all the other passengers left.”

_But will they ever leave?_

“Rationally I know that he's still mine and that the feelings don't change, but there is something in my head that constantly screams ‘wrong’ at me. That I'm like one of those people that I always condemn for not respecting boundaries. I'm just like that, dating a married man and not knowing my place.” The tears came back full force, followed by the impossibly strong desire to be close to the older man, be hugged and reassured although it would have meant that Hyungwon was demanding feelings again. “It just hurts to be the only one at that damn bus stop, waiting although everyone else knows that one shouldn't wait but take a different bus instead.”

_But would you have avoided falling in love with him if you knew? How can you be so sure, Hyungwon? Emotions don't care about concepts like marriage._

“But you were the one who waited for the bus although no one else did, Hyungwon. Isn't that something special? You cared and waited and took it although others might have preferred to ride a different one, a happier and emptier one maybe.” The creaking of Namjoon’s bed supported the words, clumsy movements immediately audible. “The question is just whether you like him enough to stay and if you can accept the fact that people might misunderstand.”

“I love him.”

“Then stay.” Namjoon sighed, bed creaking some more. “The poor guy is probably unhappy as well, liking you but being caught up in a gigantic fuckery that are divorce proceedings. Did you know that one needs to live apart for a year before filing for divorce? My mom almost killed my dad in that one year although they lived apart.”

Hyungwon chuckled, remembering how nice but also intimidating Namjoon’s mother could be.

_Judith is also nice but intimidating. Just that she still loves him._

“What do you think is worse, the fact that he's much older or that he's married?” It was a dumb question because Hyungwon couldn't change any of the factors, but somehow he felt better asking it.

“Easy,” his best friend replied with a laugh. “That he's older. He can't get any younger but he sure as fuck can divorce and be all yours. Cheer up, Hyungwon. If nothing works out you can return to drinking imported German beer with me in our kitchen. I'll even remove the Amazon box for you.”

Hyungwon's throat closed up again, this time because of the genuine answer and wish to give his best friend a hug. There was something about the physics major that felt warm even if he remained rational. It was calming and returned the air to his chest, relief sinking in.

_You might be dating a married man, but you won't be forever. He's yours emotionally, just wait and he'll be fully yours._

Now he only had to make sure that Judith didn't get under his skin.

_Or Hoseok’s._

_  


_11PM._

 

Hyungwon forced himself to be an adult, getting up from the bed and taking a long hot shower, pulling tight black jeans over his legs in addition to his favourite black shirt, loose on his body but still emphasizing his waist just as he liked. Although he would have loved to curl up in bed and feel miserable it was clear that doing nothing would give him exactly that, nothing.

A quick glance into the mirror revealed that the signs of crying had almost completely faded, just his eyes remaining swollen, but there was nothing he could have done about that.

_Just don’t start again as soon as you see him._

Leaving the hotel room and walking the fifteen meters to Hoseok’s he felt like he was being rather successful at his attempt to be grown up about his problems, willing to talk about it and listen to Hoseok’s reasoning.

Taking a deep breath and biting down on his lower lip to stay calm he knocked, hoping that the older man wasn’t working out or following a similar part of his routine.  
  
Slow steps sounded before the door opened and the handsome black-haired man appeared in the door crack, wearing black ripped jeans and a white t-shirt. Black bangs hung into the dark eyes as so often. The surprise was evident but it hadn’t been the positive one. Hoseok seemed sad seeing him.   
  
“Want to come in?” he asked, opening the door a little further.

“I do, but do you want me to come in? You look rather upset.” Hyungwon spoke calmly, surprised himself by how well he managed not to cry, wondering why Hoseok would be the sad one. The black-haired man had known what he was getting into after all.  
  
“You definitely should come inside if you intend on punching me again. I look upset because I am upset, at myself mostly.” Opening the door wider, the muscular man moved further into the room, sitting down on the the edge of the bed.

_You punched him. In the face._

“I-” Hyungwon began, but wasn’t sure if he was genuinely sorry for hurting the other man. At that moment it had been the only thing he had felt capable of doing, be it rational or not. “I think we should talk either way.”

Entering the room he felt like a foreign entity although he had been in the same spot the day before, mostly undressed and covered in chains, and happy. It was crazy how quickly perceptions changed all the time, discomfort spreading in his chest despite being close to the person he loved. Inhaling slowly he sat down on the couch chair, crossing his legs as he had before to not seem too much unlike himself.

“Why are you upset at yourself?”  
  
The dark eyes focused on his face as the low voice spoke.   
  
“I’m upset for being so blind. Missing such an important detail, not keeping track and making doubly sure that we were both on the same page with the same amount of information.”

Hyungwon sighed, tilting his head back and glancing at the ceiling instead of the dark gaze, knees turning into mush under the intensity, resources used up from crying and being generally miserable.

“Well, now it’s too late. We’re on the same page, and now?” He chuckled, but it sounded a little hollow. “Or is there anything else I need to know?”

Don’t be so bitter, Hyungwon. He said he didn’t do it on purpose. He’s not out to make you unhappy.  
  
“We’re not. We’re not on the same page. Because your decision was made without knowing it so it’s basically worthless. It’s from zero now. Use the time wisely.” The words were spoken clear and without hesitation, Hyungwon was sure that the black eyes were still staring at him.

_He’s giving you a chance to leave, isn’t he?_

He looked back at the older man, standing up from the chair and crossing the distance, stopping right in front of Hoseok, blue eyes remaining on the dark brown ones.

“I want this. Nothing’s changed.”  
  
Nothing happened for a couple of seconds as the other man used the time to look at his face intently, gaze jumping from his eyes to his mouth and back.   
  
“You should’ve tried saying that in front of the mirror. Then you would’ve seen how that doesn’t make sense together with your facial expression. A lot changed, you changed, your attitude towards me changed. I know how it works, Hyungwon, I’ve been through this once.”

“You dated a married man?” Hyungwon asked back, biting his lip and breaking the eye contact, unable to hold it as he did before, hurt returning to burn along his lungs. “The one thing that didn’t change is that I want you.”  
  
“No, I’ve seen how one fact can change a whole relationship to the point where it’s not possible to fix it anymore.” Hoseok spoke quietly, gaze never leaving his. “But actually I shouldn’t be talking to you about this, you should just think of me as your boss and give an amazing presentation, not giving a shit about me being married, or old, or hurt, or whatever.”

A shiver passed through Hyungwon’s body, cold although the room temperature was fine. He hesitated to touch the older man, attempting to let the words express everything.

“Your relationship with Judith broke apart because of something that couldn’t be changed. I doubt that you being married is something unchangeable, unless you want it to be.” The anger he had felt before, numbing his senses, began returning a little bit, fists clenching at his sides to contain it. “I can’t focus on work if I have the feeling you are basically telling me to leave you although that should be my fucking decision, Hoseok.”  
  
“Do you think that’s what me telling you to leave looks like?” The gaze was intense again. Hoseok was so close but his hands still remained on the bed, not touching him and the curved lips not telling him that it’d be alright. Shit, he wanted them to whisper that everything would be fine so badly.

“I’m not sure what to think, Hoseok. I spent hours thinking about this and about how I feel concerning the situation, just to hear you telling me that you take none of it seriously and that I should have ‘practised saying the words’ in front of a fucking mirror.” Hyungwon groaned in frustration but held the gaze, stepping a little closer. “Right now you are telling me that things changed and that your experience apparently tells you that relationships end after such changes.”  
  
“Relationships can change and break because of less serious things than this. It is serious and your reaction showed me perfectly well how bad it is for you, apparently bad enough to tell me to fuck off and hit me in a public bathroom. That’s why I’m telling you to reconsider because once again, Hyungwon, this will be a shitshow.” Hoseok sighed and looked to the ceiling for an uncharacteristically long amount of time. “I just have the feeling that you don’t really know how I feel about you.”

_Then why doesn’t he fucking say it._

“What do you think I have been doing for the past hours? Sitting in my room, eating candy and ignoring my problems?” Hyungwon’s fists clenched again, sensation of his nails against his palms painful and only adding to the previous marks. “Fuck, no. I was thinking whether I am willing to deal with this, to be with you despite the additional repercussions that I apparently hadn’t been aware of. I won’t lie to you and say that I am all butterflies about it, I’m not, but I want you more than the shitshow scares me off.”  
  
Hoseok wanted to say something but a loud knock on the door interrupted them, repeating after a couple of seconds.   
  
“Who’s there?” Hoseok asked, voice low and clear.   
  
“It’s me, I have this amazing idea, you have to listen because I need you. Open the door please.” Judith’s voice sounded a little muffled through the thick wood.

Hyungwon had never wanted to hurt a woman, but that exact moment might have been the first, anger only spiking up as his brain screamed at him to turn his pretend mode back on, emotions on a high but forced to be the young assistant that probably had a last prep-up talk before the presentation the next day.

 _You will always be reminded, Hyungwon. Every fucking time you see her face._   
  
The older man sighed and stood up, opening the door and letting the unwanted guest in. Judith was obviously surprised seeing Hyungwon and greeted him warmly before turning to Hoseok immediately, pulling at his sleeve and jumping up a little, small height obvious without the usual heels the short woman had worn before. She must have really been occupied with her idea if the fact that Hyungwon was at her husband’s hotel room at 11PM didn’t really shock her.   
  
“Listen, this will be amazing, remember that one time we went to the cóte d’azur together? And there was this company you told me about that was doing marketing in the region? I found them and I looked at their stuff and it’s amazing, I totally want to go with a similar concept. What do you think? It will be amazing right?” The delicate hand curled around the muscular man’s underarm, squeezing a little.   
  
Hoseok listened patiently, before stopping the semantic flow by grabbing the thin shoulder and leaning down a little.   
  
“I don’t know, but I also don’t want to decide right now, I was in the middle of a talk that I’d like to finish, ok? Let’s talk about this tomorrow, Judith.”   
  
The black-haired woman held the gaze, squeezing Hoseok’s arm tighter, judged by the red spots appearing on the sensitive skin.   
  
“But honey, I need your decision now because I’m in a flow and you know exactly how I create the best things when I’m crazy and work until 3AM, please.”

_You’re the third wheel._

Something short-circuited in Hyungwon’s head at the words, pressure rising in his chest as his nails dug into his palms and he forced the brightest smile he could afford onto his face.

“Yeah, Hoseok, why don’t you let her take care of her flow. I’m sure I’ll do fine with the presentation without solving this,” he exclaimed, bottom lip trembling at the words, but he fought to suppress it by smiling even more, spreading the plump lips further, until it was almost painful.

Looking away he crossed the distance to the door with quick steps, long fingers curling around the handle and applying too much pressure, knuckles white.  
  
“Shit, don’t go, Hyungwon.” He heard how Hoseok came closer grabbing his hand and turning him around. “Don’t go like this, let’s talk.”

Pretending hurt so fucking much, just like the awareness of how emotional the older man’s voice sounded. Biting his lip Hyungwon forced himself to remain composed, conjuring the smile back as he glanced at the blue-eyed woman shortly.

Judith was staring at them with her mouth open.

_He’s forgetting that he wanted to hide this, isn’t he?_

“Judith purposefully came to share her idea with you, maybe you should be professional and listen to it. You like people being productive and doing a good job, don’t you?” Talking hurt and his eyes burned again, totally out of place with Judith staring at both of them. “We can just talk some other time.”  
  
The dark eyes became even darker as a thumb started caressing the wrist Hoseok had still been holding, teeth sinking into the bottom lip and gaze remaining on his eyes as if they were connected in the first place.   
  
“I don’t want to be professional. I don’t want you to go, I want you here.” The desperation seeped through the words just like the eyes seemed to ask him to stay. “I love you, Hyungwon, I really do, please stay.”

Hyungwon’s breath hitched, body freezing in place as his eyes widened, shock obvious at how easily Hoseok had spoken the words, not even once bringing it over himself to whisper them in response, but calling them out loudly in front of his wife instead.

He didn’t know what to do, lost in the situation and appropriate behavioural responses. His fingers curled around the hand that was holding his wrist, lower lip trembling as his chest burned again.

_Leave, just leave._

He panicked, dropping the hand he had been holding and running out of the hotel room, heart hammering in his ears and drowning out all other noises, long legs easily carrying him along the hallway and around the corner. Stopping in front of his room he fumbled with his room key, attempting to pull it out of his tight jeans, panic only increasing.  
  
He heard Hoseok saying something loudly behind him before he saw the muscular man appear next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. The action was sudden enough to make him drop the key card, little piece of plastic not making any noise on the deep blue carpet.   
  
“Let’s talk, please don’t run away from me,” the older man whispered.

_You’re being childish. Running away is childish._

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he bursted out, turning around and curling his arms around the firm neck, face immediately burying itself in the fabric of the white t-shirt and attempting to hide from everything around him, allowing himself to drown in the scent instead. “I’m being childish, but I’m so fucking lost. Shit.”   
  
Muscular arms pressed him closer and hot lips placed kisses along his ear while Hoseok was simply breathing against his skin.   
  
“I’m the one who’s sorry, let’s go inside.”

Hyungwon hesitated, afraid to separate from the warm chest and be confronted with everything he had run away from. His lungs burned from the speed with which he inhaled and exhaled, heartbeat still like a drum in his ears.

_You can’t stand around like this in the middle of a hallway. You’re just making it worse._

Peeling off his arms he bent down, picking up the key card he had dropped and opening the room, fingers shaking as they touched the handle. A warm palm was placed on top of his hand as Hoseok pushed him inside the room, closing the door after himself.

“Are you mental, Hoseok?” Hyungwon whispered, realization of what Hoseok had just done slowly dawning upon him. Disbelieving, he raised his gaze, standing in the middle of the room and staring at the beautiful older man, who had apparently decided he preferred to talk to him instead of his wife. “You just told her that you are in love with me.”  
  
“I am mental because I didn’t explicitly tell you that I’m still legally married. But I already told Judith that I’m in love, she just didn’t know that it was you,” the low voice commented as Hoseok moved closer, stopping only as there was almost no space between them. “I meant it though, I really love you.”

It was overwhelming, confusion and euphoria mixing and taking away his ability to act, just standing there and staring, arms uselessly hanging at his sides.

“I- I love you too, but-” His brain was in overdrive, trying to grasp what this meant, what would have to change this time. “How am I supposed to act around her now? I’ll see her almost everyday starting next week- I- oh my god, Hoseok. Holy shit.”

His eyes widened even further, long fingers grasping the older man’s waist and holding onto it with force, meeting the dark eyes and reading the emotions out of them, clear as day.

“Holy shit, you love me.”

_ He means it. _

“Oh my god, you love me.” He was being an idiot but he couldn’t help it, closing the rest of the distance and pulling their bodies flush, heartbeat just as fast and intense as it had been, warmth spiking in his chest and fingers shivering, stroking over the covered skin. “Is this even real? I feel like I have lost my mind.”   
  
Muscular arms embraced him completely, roaming over his back and pressing his body impossibly close to the older man, hot breath tickling against his neck and warm lips tracing his jaw.    
  
“It’s me. I’ve lost my mind. I want to throw myself at you but I’m afraid that it’s not what you imagine. But then I just love you too much to care.”

“Give it to me, throw yourself at me. I want it,” Hyungwon breathed out, warm palms cupping the beautiful face and inhaling the features and the emotionality he could read from them. “Even if you blow away the whole fucking hay house, I don’t care.”   
  
The gentle fingers continued caressing his back, slipping under the fabric of his black shirt, drawing over his spine and undefinable shapes over the warm skin. Hoseok kissed him, slowly moving his lips and waiting until Hyungwon parted them himself, tongue sliding in and finally intertwining with his.

The touch felt so much more intimate than before, depth and warmth that spread through his body at the feeling traceable with his fingertips. Curling his slim arms around the broad shoulders Hyungwon put his weight on his elbows, raising a leg to the older man’s hip and expecting to be lifted, fingers intertwining with the soft black strands.   
  
Hoseok complied, removing his hands from his naked back and curling his fingers around his thighs, lifting him up easily and throwing his head back, parting his lips in invitation. Hyungwon didn’t hesitate before covering the beautiful curved mouth with his, licking inside and tasting the gorgeous man. His fingers pulled at the black strands, keeping the other’s head tilted such that he had proper access to his lips, legs tightening around the muscular body.

“I’m happy,” he whispered, putting the euphoria he felt into words but not doing it any justice, just syllables that he whispered against the addictive mouth. “I feel so fucking happy when I’m with you like this. Please don’t let go. Hug me tighter, Hoseok.”   
  
The grip got tighter and the older man pushed his back against the wall lightly, placing kisses all over his face and neck, rubbing the pale cheek against his and whispering non stop.    
  
“I’m not, I’m not happy besides when I’m with you. I love you, Hyungwon, every time you told me I wanted to say it but it seemed so strange, it seemed like a reaction not like an action, but I love you so much, my mind is full of you.”

The sudden affection was overwhelming, filling out his whole body, not only the words but the whole combination, hands against his skin and lips pressing on his, sending his senses into overdrive. It felt so surreal that fear kept returning, reminding him of how fucked up their situation was.

“What are we supposed to do, Hoseok? I just want to be with you,” Hyungwon murmured and curled himself around the muscular body, feeling protected somehow, like he didn’t have to think about what was going on as long as he remained in the older man’s arms. “I don’t care about getting hurt anymore.”   
  
“I’ll try everything so you won’t get hurt, I promise. Fuck, I only want you, I don’t want anything else.” The low voice caressed his ear as the muscular chest pressed further against his, taking his breath away. 

“Can’t you stay here tonight? With me?” Hyungwon gasped in return, fingers digging into the pale skin and afraid to let go, wishing to just fall to the bed, curl up and not let the older man go until the next day. Or ever. “I’ll be fine if you’re here.”   
  
“I don’t think I could leave even if you told me to,” Hoseok whispered and lifted him, placing his back on the white sheets and crawling over his body, placing kisses on every inch of skin that was visible. 

“I want you to make love to me.” His voice was soft, fingers stroking over the pale skin, appearing like a mixture of silver and gold in the light, skin tones intermingling whenever they touched. It was mesmerizing and addictive, wish to see and feel more of it becoming stronger with each second. Hyungwon curled his long legs further around the muscular body and pulled the older man’s chin towards himself, kissing the curved lips tenderly.   
  
“Ah, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I really want to give you every-fucking-thing,” the older man murmured, exhaling against his lips and letting himself fall to the side, placing a palm on the curve of his waist and kissing his lips once again. 

“Is it guilt?” Hyungwon asked, genuinely worried about the older man giving in and feeling emotional because of the way Hyungwon had cried and punched him, completely out of it. His fingers dug under the seam of the white t-shirt, pulling it up and breaking the kiss to remove it completely, hands covering the pale skin hungrily, leaving faint lines and enjoying the warmth.   
  
“No. Me feeling sorry doesn’t affect the way I perceive you and my relationship with you. I am sorry, but I wanted to give you everything way before this situation happened,” Hoseok whispered, obviously more affected than usually, soft moans leaving the curved mouth at Hyungwon’s ministrations, although it was basically nothing compared to what they normally did. 

It was fascinating how the bodily reactions adjusted to the emotions, honesty seeping through and taking his breath away.

“Why did you hide it?” he exhaled against the luscious lips, leaning a little over the older man and adding perceptions, tongue licking over his collar bones and into the hollow between them, teeth nibbling at the pec muscles, sucking at a nipple. “You were dating me already, so why would you still hide it?”   


Hyungwon bit down at the words, feeling how the skin trembled below his lips, reacting to the sudden pain combined with the pleasure.   
  
Hoseok let out a moan again. Hissing a breath the older man raked a hand through his hair, pulling lightly.   
  
“It’s not that I lied, I just monitor everything to be sure it’s real- it’s really what I think. You know if you write to a professor for example, you delete stuff and write it anew, thinking about how it might come over? Those kind of thoughts. I don’t want to deceive you, I want to be honest and to mean everything I say because that’s the least you deserve.”

Hyungwon smiled, stroking over the black hair and basking in the way the older man remained rational and focused on the truth until the very last moment, amount of self-reflection admirable.

“It’s hard to be constantly aware of what is the truth and what isn’t. Emotions have such intensity that they can appear to be the only true thing, so I don’t think I would be able to separate them like you do, not in the moment they occur.” Placing a soft kiss against Hoseok’s ear he pulled the older man on top of him, loving the heavy weight pressing him down, lips brushing against each other. “But the fact that you tell me right now makes it so much more intense, Hoseok. Shit, I still can’t believe you really love me.”   
  
“Only because I didn’t say it?” The curved lips spread in a beautiful smile as the older man went right to his neck, placing soft kisses and leaving bites along his skin.

“You are so fucking controlled and aware of your actions, Hoseok. Just because you lose it when you fuck me doesn’t mean anything, so of course it means a lot when you say it,” Hyungwon murmured in reply, a little embarrassed at the fact that he required a spoken confirmation. “I knew that you felt something, intensity obvious since the time in Israel, but a crush can feel similar, impossibly intense until it fades so I guess I just hoped it wouldn’t fade.”   
  
“It’s because you can’t look inside my mind. There’s not much besides you recently.” The words were spoken casually in between the kisses, but were equally deep and emotional.

“I guess I am confident about everything except for your feelings for me,” Hyungwon replied with a chuckle, licking over Hoseok’s nose and smiling brightly, proximity pleasant and calm. “But now that I know, I’m unstoppable.”   
  
“I’m going to tell you, a lot.” The older man slid the black shirt from his shoulders, and placed soft kisses all over his chest. “I think we should sleep, I would love to taste and feel you, but you have an important day tomorrow, I want you to have the maximum positive experience from it.” 

“Shit, I’m going to suck.” Hyungwon’s eyes widened comically, remembering the pressure before he reminded himself of the fact that he practised the presentation in the middle of the night, putting himself an alarm just to stand up and deliver it once, perfectly. “Nevermind, I’ll rock it.”

_ You still don’t know how to act around Judith. _

“But what about Judith?”   
  
“She hates me. Actually she doesn’t,” Hoseok murmured while getting rid of his clothes and curling up next to Hyungwon, arms tight around his waist. “I’ll have to talk to her, but I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Sighing he attempted to pull his jeans down his legs without breaking the embrace, warm palms pleasant against his cool skin.

“I guess now she’ll hate me too,” he commented and finally slipped the tight fabric down, throwing it off the bed and attaching his body to Hoseok’s, one leg thrown over the broad body. “I’m basically signed as her personal model for the next three months. Fucking marvellous.”   
  
The way Hoseok immediately hugged him was so genuine, fingers stroking over his skin in addition to the breathtaking smile spreading on the handsome face.    
  
“She won’t, she was praising you all the time. She’ll be jealous, she’ll be bitter, but she won’t hate you.” The older man paused for a couple of seconds, seemingly thinking about something. “Maybe I should just tell her, so she can move on.” 

Hyungwon swallowed, putting himself in the older woman’s situation and imagining what would have hurt him more, knowing that wanting somebody was futile because nothing could change and because he loved someone else or a combination of both.

“Don’t you think she is hurt enough by you loving me? I think she will feel betrayed because you did it behind her back. Maybe it’s better to tell her when she cares less and can accept it as a final goodbye.” It felt strange to be the one to give Hoseok advice on how to deal with his wife and which private decisions to tell her and which not, because he was the one person who knew. “I don’t want you to hurt her any more than you already have.”

_ Why do you care so much? Do you feel guilty for being the one to have him? _ _   
_ __   
“I’d prefer to have everything at once compared to a long way of suffering. I’ll think about it.” Hoseok pressed him even closer sucking in the scent of his skin, right next to his neck.

_ The question is what would she prefer. _

“We’re still keeping this secret, aren’t we?”   
  
“I would keep it low when dealing with professional situations, mainly because of you as someone who starts doing his own thing. I don’t want people to be biased over nothing when it comes to you. Everything else is up to you.” The gaze settled on his face, observing his features and jumping from mouth to eyes.

“Let’s keep it low then,” Hyungwon replied with a smile and pressed their lips together, dissatisfaction remaining somewhere in the back of his head, the thought that he wasn’t hiding it because of professional reasons repeating endlessly.

_ You just don’t want to be the lover, do you? _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 21th of May at 2 AM CET.
> 
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> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I love you and it's scary."

There was basically no light, just the faint grey shadow that the moon left on the pillow, painting the beautiful man next to him into a mixture of silver and gold. It must’ve been about 4AM judging by his inner clock, which worked exceptionally well.

Hyungwon was asleep, curled up in a blanket, eyelids covering the big blue eyes and plump lips parted slightly. He held a finger against them, feeling how little exhales hit his skin regularly.   
  
_Why can’t it always be peaceful like this?_ _  
_ _  
_ Because life is not about having the same meal everyday but enjoying a variety of foods, starving without it for days and months or choking on it.   
  
Hoseok felt like choking.

The fact that Hyungwon hadn’t been aware of his ongoing marriage and the fact that Judith was his wife pulled the ground from beneath his feet, making him vulnerable, the other man’s intense reaction forcing him to do things he would’ve never done or said.   
  
_Like confessing that you love him in front of Judith. What the fuck are you, Hoseok?_ _  
_ _  
_ People who watched too many soap operas might have thought of his behaviour as courage, but it had just been lack of insight, realization, and empathy paired with selfishness and stupidity. He had exposed Hyungwon to another superior, making their relationship unnecessarily complex and making potential conflict inevitable.   
  
He stood up, trying to make as little noise as possible and got dressed, giving up on sleep and deciding that Hyungwon needed it much more than him before the important presentation. After leaving Hyungwon’s room silently, he crossed the distance to his own hotel room, sliding in the keycard and opening the door right after.   
  
The bedside lamp was on, concealed lighting covering the space in a matte yellow. He strolled over to the desk, gaze sliding over the presentation once again.   
  
“You weren’t able to sleep, I suppose.” The low, female voice sent a shiver through his spine, sensation unexpected and forcing him to turn around, trying to determine where the auditory input came from, spotting a thin body lying on his bed, back rested against the headboard.   
  
_She stayed here after you left._ _  
_ _  
_ It was clear that she must’ve been crying, the dark blue eyes were swollen, as far he could determine from the distance. The round face looked wet and the black locks were hanging messily around the thin shoulders.   
  
“Why are you still here, Judith?” he asked, coming closer and sitting down on a chair standing across from the bed, gaze focused on the tiny woman lying on top of it.   
  
A low chuckle was enough of an answer as he saw another tear roll down the slightly pale cheek.   
  
“You know what’s scary, Hoseok? It’s scary if you think you know a person and can perfectly well determine the way they will react and behave, judging according to certain patterns, but then the person you seem to know so well does something you didn’t expect and you think about it and consider it a lie or a deception but then-” A quiet sob interrupted the wordflow, seeming even more loud in the room at night.

Hoseok remained silent, sitting on his chair and staring at the insane amount of pain uncovering in front of his eyes.

“But then you realize that you actually have no idea, that the person changed when you weren’t around and you didn’t know about it and that this person doesn't care about you anymore, fuck.” Tears started flowing down one after the other, his own chest constricting and eyes burning fueled by the sight and the spoken words equally. Standing up on his feet he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, body turned such that he could see Judith.   
  
“Why aren’t my words ever enough for you? Why does it always have to be something rough, something with behavioural consequences and something ripping your expectations apart? Do you think it’s fun for me to see you hurt like this?” he whispered, hand squeezing the slim shoulder, wish to hug the fragile body and to make it better prominent.   
  
_Did you do it? Is it your fault, Hoseok?_ _  
_ _  
_ Actually it had been both of them. Usually there is not only one person at fault in a dyad. It was Judith having expectations and not believing his words and him, forcing it under her nose, ripping a giant hole into the mash of hopes and leaving it to bleed.   
  
“It’s not me anymore is it? It’s him. You just exchanged it as if it was nothing much, leaving me behind and jumping into this. How can it be that four months are enough to erase six fucking years? What are you?” A small hand went to his chest, hitting it with force before he caught it, forcing the beautiful woman to finally look at him.   
  
“It’s him. But you’re wrong there, I didn’t exchange anything, Judith. It’s something different, something that I need and something that I cherish. I haven’t erased the six years we were married nor am I planning to do so. I don’t think I’d ever be able to do it to be honest. But there is no going back, you have to understand this. We won’t ever be the same and I don’t want to. I want something else now.” He tried to formulate the words as precise as possible and without underlying emotions that had normally made everything worse.

The blue eyes finally focused on his face, hurt visible and flowing down the golden cheeks without a break.  
  
“Something else? A twenty-two-year-old who looks like me in male? We’re basically the same, Hoseok, why don’t you just stop this terrible game?” Straight teeth bit down on the red bottom lip and the nails dug into his underarm painfully.   
  
_That’s what he thought too. They’re only similar in the way they’re trying to guess how you feel about them._ _  
_ _  
_ “You’re wrong.” He stared at the younger woman in front of him, narrowing his gaze and feeling how the anger returned out of nowhere. “You and him, you’re not the same. Your worst mistake is to think that this is all about you. It isn’t. He isn’t. And this isn’t a game. I meant every word I said and more of those you didn’t get to hear, so please stop.” He let the small hand go, and stood up, going back to the desk and sorting the documents into a clean pile to not get any more angry than he already was.

“I hope that you’re sane enough to not let your professional relationship with him suffer because he didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t even know who you were when he first met you. I don’t even know why he likes you, I probably wouldn’t if I was him.”   
  
He heard sounds from the bed, the slim woman going past him, forcing him to look after her. She stopped after opening the door and stared at the floor for what felt like a minute before the blue eyes focused on him and a sad smile appeared on the beautiful face, another tear rolling down the wet cheek.   
  
“I think I might’ve overestimated you.”   
  
The door closed and he was left inside the big room with the marvellous night view Hyungwon had booked for him.   
  
Alone.   
  
_  
  
  
Relationships were hard, a constant balance on a tiny rope between responsibility and affection on the one side and the respect for the other person’s character and independency on the other. Hoseok could perfectly imagine how much satisfaction and personal joy he would’ve felt, choking the old half-bald dude from the London based company with his bare hands, while the older man was telling Hyungwon that he didn’t have enough insight based on his age and eyeing him up and down as if he was a fucking statue.   
  
_You can’t. You can’t just protect him from all this, you can only give him tools and he has to use them._ _  
_ _  
_ Hyungwon did. Staying professional but respectful. It was so perfect that Hoseok doubted him being the same person who had hit him with a fist in a public toilet while crying his eyes out.   
  
_People have multiple sides and that’s the beauty of it._ _  
_ _  
_ Judith seemed professional and composed which basically didn’t mean a thing because the woman was able to cry and hold a presentation after 30 seconds, putting makeup under her eyes and smiling brightly, deceiving everybody and herself. The way she had treated Hyungwon didn’t differ from the day before, but the glances she threw towards him, when Hoseok watched him for longer than appropriate, were obvious.

She was hurt.   
  
Thankfully everything ended well and the gorgeous company CEO gave him the contract, being satisfied with the presented product and the way Hyungwon had developed it. It had to remain secret because of the ongoing competition, but he intended on telling Hyungwon when they arrived back.   
  
Hoseok hadn't really had the time to talk to the beautiful young man alone since the story, he also hadn't told him about the talk with Judith although he wanted to. It was remarkable how much perception could change in a matter of weeks and months. He hadn't needed to share anything before but he felt the urge to do so now, not able to calm down and feeling how loneliness was drowning him.   
  
_You really want to throw yourself at him, don’t you? Aren’t you scared that he might not want you after seeing it all?_ _  
_ _  
_ It had been too late anyway. He pulled out his phone after they had landed in Paris, waiting for the signal to return and wrote a message to Hyungwon, asking whether the other man wanted to go to his place from the airport, eat dinner and then get dropped off at home.

The answer was quick, not even half a minute passing as the short word ‘yes’ graced his phone screen.  
  
“Are you going home from here?” Judith walked up to him as he had come out of the restroom, Hyungwon waiting on the side.   
  
“Yes, Hyungwon will go with me, do you have someone to pick you up or do you need a cab?” The situation was more than uncomfortable because his car had only two seats. It was hard to decide where affection ended and where normal human etiquette started.   
  
_There you are, telling your still-wife to take a cab because you’re going to take your boyfriend home. What the fuck is this mess?_ _  
_ _  
_ “I knew that you’d let me down so I came with my own car. But thank you very much for offering me a cab, this is very gentleman-like of you. Not.” He was glared at, judgmental stare and mouth curled in distaste, something Judith was very good at.   
  
“I don’t care about stuff like that and I know exactly that you’ll be fine. It would be different if you weren’t,” he answered, gaze focused on the beautiful face and watching how the expression got a little softer.   
  
“Don’t act as if you know,” Judith huffed and turned around, walking in Hyungwon’s direction and giving the tall man a tight hug, whispering something in his ear and patting his shoulder before waving with the small hand and disappearing behind the gate, pulling the small black luggage with her.   
  
_Don’t act as if you don’t care about her, it’ll bite you in the ass. Because it’s not true._

The younger man closed the distance between them as soon as Judith had disappeared through the exit, chewing on his cheek and playing with the handle of his suitcase.

“Will she be alright? Just leaving like that?” he asked carefully and seemed a little uncomfortable, shifting his light weight from one leg to the other repeatedly.   
  
“She’s not alright but it’s nothing I can help with at the moment. We had a talk after I couldn’t sleep yesterday at dawn. She was still in my room, it was intense and I might have said a couple of things that hurt her, so she is trying to deal with it right now.” Hoseok pulled the luggage after himself, looking back and waving for Hyungwon to follow. _  
_

“I respect her, a lot,” the beautiful man murmured quietly, arriving at the car. “Not many people are able to distance themselves from their emotions when dealing with people.”  
  
_She can distance herself from her emotions. Which was precisely the reason for her leaving._ _  
_ _  
_ “It’s not always something positive. But you’re right, she is a very special person,” he commented and pulled out the keys, throwing them in the other man’s direction without watching.

He heard how they fell to the ground as Hyungwon cursed before picking them back up and frowning at Hoseok while he opened the car.

“I was holding luggage and my passport. I'm no magician, Hoseok,” he complained and slid into the driver’s seat after placing his luggage in the trunk. A few moments passed as the younger man buckled up and waited for Hoseok to do the same, fingers clenching and unclenching around the wheel. “My brain is so cluttered after everything that happened, including the presentation.”  
  
“Do you want to go home?” He buckled up and rubbed his palms over the length of his thighs, feeling happy to finally be able to be alone with Hyungwon.

“No.” The answer was fast as the black-haired man shook his head in support of the negation, starting the engine and manoeuvring out of the tight parking lot. “I feel like I will come to incorrect conclusions if I'm alone in this state. I'd much rather be with you.”  
  
_  


“Can't we make it faster? Do I really have to wait seven months?” Hoseok couldn't help but sound whiny. Changkyun lifted an eyebrow and opened his mouth to say something but he had apparently decided against it at the last moment before shifting some documents and looking up again.  
  
“But weren’t you the one who said everything had to be done thoroughly and to wait until all the documents were together? Furthermore you know that you need the signed divorce papers from Judith where she states that you’ve agreed on everything? Did you agree on everything? Because if it goes to court without the consent from both sides the judge will slap me with those files and tell me to wait a year more because it’s two years definite separation here in France if it’s not consensual. Or did she hit you? Like badly? Would be another possibility, or adultery.” The black-haired young man finished his monologue, elaborating and supporting the said words with gestures.   
  
_Shit. You can’t go with adultery because it’ll be you. With Hyungwon. Fuck no._ _  
_ _  
_ He almost laughed at the image of Judith hitting him badly with her one meter sixty and those thin arms. The judge would’ve cursed at him. Fact was that he had to talk to her. There was no other way.   
  
Walking up the stairs to the second floor, he passed Kihyun’s office before he heard loud steps coming after him.   
  
_He knows. She told him._ _  
_ _  
_ Moving faster Hoseok opened the door and turned around just in time for the shorter man to slide through the opened space before he closed it behind him.   
  
“You went nuts, didn’t you? I would really hit you if I didn’t know that you’d throw me on the floor right after. My suit is beautifully black and you never let the cleaning lady in.” The long eyes stared at him while a thick index finger pressed against his chest painfully. “Are you really dating Barbie? Argh, I can’t believe I didn’t see it, wearing the scarf I gave you as a birthday present and bulshitting me about it being his. I should’ve known back then that something was up. And all those room bookings, I think I should hit myself for being so fucking dumb.” Kihyun groaned throwing his head back and walked after him, further into the office.   
  
“Judith told you? She isn’t very fond of me but then we’re both single for five months already so she should be able to deal with the fact sooner or later. You better not touch Hyungwon or I’ll kill you. I’m not joking, he has enough shit with me being married and working for me, don’t you dare make it harder on him.” Hoseok sat down on the red leather couch and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What’s with the inhouse conference? Is everything set? It’s in two days right?” The topic was much more important than the repeated questions about him dating Hyungwon.   
  
The brown-haired man let himself fall on the red leather across from him, covering his face with a palm and breathing heavily.   
  
“Listen, I know that you broke up and I know that it had reasons, but this is insane on so many levels. You didn’t even try to deal with the fact that Judith left, Hoseok, it will come back and bite you in the ass, probably in a disguise you won’t be able to recognize, but I swear it will. I’m not speaking as Judith’s friend right now. I’m talking as your best friend who’s honestly concerned about you jumping into a relationship with a twenty-two-year-old boy right after a traumatic breakup. Think about Hyungwon too, he doesn’t know anything. He’s right out of uni for fuck’s sake, and then there’s you with your divorce you didn’t even get the papers and the consent for. He works for you, he’s your direct employee, he’ll get so much shit, don’t you understand? This is simply mad. For both of you.” His best friend was concerned and talked seriously, without threats or mocking undertone, picking his words and holding his intense gaze without blinking an eye.   
  
Hoseok massaged his temples, thinking about said words, message clear and objectively understandable and rational, but something inside him didn’t want to be rational if it meant giving up the one thing he wanted.   
  
_Hyungwon. You want him._ _  
_ _  
_ “You are right, you are right about everything you said, Kihyun. But it’s too late and I’m in love. I’m in love with him and he’s the only person who was able to make me happy after this breakup. He made me think about other things, he is the reason I like life right now. I don’t want to sit in front of the door and wait for her to come back, I’m just happy. I need to make this work and you need to help me. As my friend.” Leaning over he grabbed a pale hand and squeezed it tightly.   
  
“Remember when you came to force feed me? When you told me that there must be something that reminds me of how beautiful life is? That I should just think about this one thing and move on until it doesn’t hurt anymore?” He felt how his lungs constricted at the memory, painful and still as intense, just like the feeling had been months ago. Kihyun placed his own warm palm over his hand, sadness taking over the interesting features, expression worried and sorrowful.   
  
“Yes. How could I forget?” The warmth transcended into his hand. “And you told me you want to see the night sky in the desert again.”   
  
“He’s like that desert night sky right now. I’m not stupid and I’m not foolish, it’s just that the scale I put every negative consequence on still doesn’t deflect in favour of leaving. That’s how precious this is. I want to keep it, please help me.” It had been the second time Hoseok had asked his best friend for something the other probably didn’t want to give. The first had been to leave him staring at the door until it had been over. Kihyun hadn’t listened the first time but he really hoped that he would consider this time.   
  
Thin arms curled around his body as the shorter man stood up and leaned down, giving him a tight hug and patting his back. It was the first time they had hugged since the situation with the breakup and it felt so freeing.   
  
“Thank you, Kihyun, fuck, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you.”   
  
“Please be happy, Hoseok. Please.” The voice cracked somewhere in the middle and the brown-haired man stood up, brushing invisible dust from his black suit pants and staring somewhere at the ceiling to calm down from the obvious emotional rollercoaster. After a couple of seconds the intense gaze returned to him and his best friend smiled.   
  
“The conference is on, Hyungwon booked all the hotel rooms and catering. He got in the budget frame and did all the organizational stuff by himself while working for Judith half of the day. You should let him go on holiday. He works too much.” The other man’s mouth curled up in distaste before he opened the door. “But he’s still mental. Why would he date an old dude like you if he could have someone fresh and without emotional ballast?” Kihyun left and closed the door after himself.   
  
_Why would he?_ _  
_ _  
_ _  
  
  
After coming out of the shower and staring at his bookshelf for a whole hour followed by the realization that it hadn’t been neurotypical behaviour, Hoseok slipped into the black armani underwear he liked so much, pulling the black ripped jeans over his worked out thighs and combining it with a red t-shirt and a leather jacket. He grabbed the Porsche keys and ran down the stairs hoping that Hyungwon was already home at 11PM on a Wednesday. The thought alone was sufficient to know that the young man had been overworking himself the last couple of weeks after coming back from their London trip.   
  
He arrived after about ten minutes and wrote a short message, afraid to wake Namjoon in case the other man was already sleeping.   
  
‘Please take your stuff for tomorrow and come down. Ah also grab three random things you don’t cherish as much so you can give them to me. I’m waiting. Hoseok’ 

This time it took a minute or two until the response came, a more elaborate answer compared to the last time Hoseok had waited in front of the younger man's apartment. A drunk man walked past him in the meantime, mumbling something in undecipherable French while pointing at his car in astonishment.

‘I'm not saying that I'll do it although you’re creepy but that's exactly what I'm saying. Don't let the drunk guy steal your car, we don't have such luxuries around here.’  
  
Hoseok grinned at the way Hyungwon wrote his answer, always casual and free, making him laugh and feeling younger than he was.   
  
‘Did you see my body? Nobody is going to steal anything from me. I’m not creepy, everything is thought through and has analytical reasoning behind it, you just don’t understand ;) Must be the age. In addition you’re the most luxurious here, so come down.’

Not long after, the younger man's pretty face appeared at the door, dressed in black ripped jeans, equally black converse and a plain white shirt, topped off with a leather jacket. A black sports bag was thrown over his shoulder. Rolling his eyes Hyungwon jumped into the passenger seat.

“First of all, why the fuck would you sign with ‘Hoseok’ on WhatsApp if I have your contact? I know it's you, duh. Second, you have actual emoticons, you don't need the poor semicolon and closed bracket to express your feelings anymore.” The annoyance dissipated into thin air the longer the beautiful man spoke, showing that it was mostly played and grin appearing. The long fingers curled around Hoseok’s thigh as Hyungwon turned towards him. “Still love you though.”  
  
“Will be fun to get ditched for inappropriate use of emoticons. Talking in front of people is more my area of competence. Kihyun asked me why you would date an old dude like me if you could have someone fresh. He was right, I don’t know.” Hoseok grinned, remembering the conversation from the early morning.

Hyungwon frowned, squeezing the muscular thigh once before stretching out his long legs, eyes focused on Hoseok’s face from the side.

“Fresh doesn't have to mean good. It could also mean naive, inexperienced or dumb. Furthermore it depends on how easy it is to share a particular interest. Not many people enjoy reading up to the degree and with the same topics that I do and you happen to be a person like that, so your age might even be a plus, as you have read shitloads and are way ahead of me.” Giggling Hyungwon held a pretty hand in front of his mouth, covering it quickly before he bit his lower lip and placed the palm back on his thigh. “And you fuck better, but that's just an extra. I want you for- for being you I guess. I didn't really think about your age, it wasn't really a factor for me.”  
  
“Yeah, right, that’s why you Mr. Shin’ed me, provoking me and watching how I hated it. But fine, let’s say you’re right. That reminds me that I want to make you wear that pretty leather harness with chains but still haven’t because we both work like crazy and you’re not used to it. You have to take a holiday soon.” Hoseok started the engine and turned around the corner, enjoying the empty streets of Paris and feeling happy at the fact that he wasn’t alone in his car.

“This might be random, but I fucking love your car. It feels so damn free to drive around like this. When I'm rich I'll get one,” the handsome man remarked but watched his face instead of the road, expression bright. “I'll just ignore the harness comment because I think prior agreement about sex is kind of a turn off, unless I'm in Israel and desperate.”  
  
“Who said I was talking about sex? By the way London took your product, so you’re kinda rich as 40% of the profit will go directly to you for the design and implementation. Well done. I can’t believe I didn’t even have time to tell you about it although the CEO told me the same day in secret.” Reaching his building he parked the car in the designated spot and turned off the engine, looking to the right straight after. 

Hyungwon appeared in shock, lips parted in surprise and eyes wide, mouthing ‘holy shit’ a few times.

Suddenly the younger man jumped up and curled his arms around Hoseok’s neck, awkwardly leaning onto his side and yelping in excitement, happiness almost contagious with the way he pressed a kiss to Hoseok’s cheek and pulled him closer to his chest.

“Oh my fucking god, I was so worried because of that guy who was basically undressing me with his eyes, oh god,” Hyungwon murmured and didn't let go. The way the beautiful black-haired man reacted was simply mesmerizing and adorable, happiness and joy overflowing and spilling over, colouring everything around them in a bright palette.   
  
“Yes, it’s all your work, you did a good job.” The words sounded so professional so he decided to add something personal right after. “I might’ve or might’ve not told the CEO about the guy, giving a fair amount of criticism regarding his behaviour which I considered highly unprofessional. Because I’m petty. I was sulky, not being able to choke him with my bare hands.” 

Hyungwon laughed loudly, mouth opening impossibly wide and showing his white teeth, eyes turning into crescents.

“You mean you basically said ‘He's a dick, fire him’ in professional language, just because he doubted my skills and stared at my ass?” Another laugh followed as the younger man climbed back to the passenger seat carefully. “Will you punch people ‘cause they try to touch me? I always wanted an overprotective boyfriend that gets disappointed because I can protect myself.”  
  
“Nah. I only get punched as you have previously experienced. I don’t ruin other people’s careers because of personal feelings, but I do have a strong opinion on justice and human interaction so it might happen that I say something if I consider it necessary. Let’s go.” He opened the door and walked to the elevator, waiting for Hyungwon to follow.

Jumping out cheerfully with his sports bag the younger might have just as well sang a song on his way, cheerful and smile bright.

“Not many people have the balls to say their opinion. I love how you don't give a shit. What music do you actually listen to? I've never seen you with headphones or anything.”  
  
“I listen to jazz, classical music, stuff without words mostly, it helps me concentrate. I listen to it at home when you’re not there so you don’t know. Actually you don’t know a lot of things about me.” He ran up the stairs taking it as an opportunity to workout and arriving in under seven seconds. The best.

Hyungwon followed him quickly, slim body more athletic than expected, breaths relatively stable despite the effort.

“Well, you're the one who kept going on about me knowing all those things already, Mister. But here we go and I actually know nothing.” The grin remained as the sports bag switched shoulders. “Concerning your taste in music-” There was a break as Hyungwon visible contemplated what to say. “It can be nice to listen to classical music and jazz but I gotta be in the mood for that, usually it's something else and I always listen to music, without a break.”  
  
“Impressive,” he commented, entering the apartment and putting his things to their designated spots. “So regarding the three things I asked you for, I stood in front of my shelves and realized that I threw everything away after the breakup and everything is empty so I need someone to put stuff here and you were the first person I could think of.”

“Holy shit, really? The stuff I brought is so embarrassing. So you want me to fill the empty space?” The younger man chewed on his cheek, glancing around and fumbling with the zipper of his bag. The expression was conflicting, like something about the words upset Hyungwon while feeling thankful at the same time. “But this makes me kind of happy, although you’re still a creep.”  
  
“No, don’t be an overly emotional teenager, I don’t want you to fill some _empty space_ I just want something of you here. Don’t want to? Then please don’t bother.” Turning around, Hoseok went to the bathroom, getting his toothbrush and starting to brush his teeth furiously.

“That's not what I meant, Hoseok,” Hyungwon commented behind him and kicked his muscular back lightly with the slim foot, putting in the effort to lift it sufficiently high. “I'd love to have something here. It's meaningful.”

The pretty face had a little more colour as the younger man stepped next to Hoseok and lifted up a frame, showing Hyungwon next to a younger girl, dark eyes and dark hair and similar eye form to his boyfriend.   
  
“Who’s this? Your sister? Do you have a sister?” He realized that he had never asked and had laughed at Judith when she had mentioned that Hyungwon was good at braiding because of his sister. “Seems as if Judith knows you better than I do, she told me, but I thought you were bulshitting.”

“Yeah, that's my sister.” The smile on the handsome face was genuine and affectionate as he glanced at the picture. “Judith just asks more questions I guess. In addition there is more time to talk when you don't argue over book interpretations or fuck.” Hyungwon laughed loudly, audibly amused by his own comment.   
  
“Are you close?” Hoseok asked, spitting out the toothpaste to be finally able to talk normally and turned to Hyungwon.

“Ehm, I guess. We don't see each other much anymore since I moved out of course, but when we do we talk a lot. She's lovely.” Grabbing his toothbrush Hyungwon began smearing toothpaste on it. “What's your family like? It probably doesn't really matter much at your age, but I'm still curious.”  
  
“Doesn’t family always matter somehow? I think my mom still thinks that I’m the little Hoseok who played piano and competed in taekwondo instead of being my actual self with a company and an adult life.” He laughed thinking about his parents and feeling the hurt returning. “I have to talk to them again, we didn’t really keep contact after the breakup with Judith. They really liked her. A lot.”

Hyungwon's face changed suddenly, some of the brightness fading as he placed the frame on the side and brushed his teeth, fingers gripping the toothbrush with more strength than necessary.

“Marriage is a whole network of connections and relations and once it breaks apart everything else breaks with it, doesn't it?” he murmured and cleaned his face, remaining silent.   
  
_Yep._ _  
_ _  
_ “It is. It is a fucking shit show as I already mentioned. Do you know how I had to talk to my father in law a week ago because he didn’t want to believe that it was really over, asking whether he should come over to mediate between us. Fuck my life.” Hoseok did the same, washing his face and grabbing the toner, putting some on his palms and rubbing it into his pale skin.

Hyungwon watched him carefully, coming a little closer and stroking over his naked arm, fingertips barely touching.

“And I thought dealing with my parents is bad because they still think my homosexuality is a phase. I really can't imagine what it must be like for you, Hoseok.” The slim arms curled around his neck and pulled him closer, warmth immediately spreading over his skin. “I just hope that I can ease it for you somehow.”  
  
He pressed Hyungwon closer with his arms, hugging the slim waist and placed a kiss on his plump, red lips.   
  
“You do. You already do and this is the reason to keep working on this and throwing an insane amount of resources into this, hoping that it works out. I am usually not the person who gets blinded by emotions and throws himself into euphoria, not caring about consequences. Actually it’s the opposite, but my scale keeps telling me that it’s worth it, no matter how many negative consequences I put on the pan.”

The plump mouth was hot against his, closing around his curved bottom lip and sucking lightly, fingers of the left hand walking along his shoulder and stroking the muscles.

“I gave up comparing already. I want this too much and won't be convinced otherwise anyway,” the younger man whispered against him and pressed the slim hips forward, blue eyes intense. “I'll just be your desert instead.”  
  
“You're my desert night sky,” he breathed against the warm lips and closed the distance. It felt just right, for the first time in what felt like forever he was able to let go as if nothing bad could happen to him.

Nothing.

As long as Hyungwon was next to him.

  


***

 

“I was cold, okay?” Hyungwon remarked nonchalantly, sitting comfortably on Hoseok’s gigantic bed and enjoying the benefits that staying in a huge apartment had. He was wearing a gigantic pullover belonging to the other man that covered most of his slim frame, seam reaching to the first third of his naked thighs and cuffs easily surpassing his hands.

The only explanation was that Hoseok had bought it a few sizes too big, fabric too large even for the muscular man. The deep blue color fit perfectly with Hyungwon's eyes and was apparently enough to earn a surprised but still intense gaze from the almost black eyes of the older man. It was understandable, Hyungwon looked like a heavenly present in it. “This one looked perfect so I took it.”

_It's always so difficult to read him. Is he surprised because you look so good in it or because you rummaged through his wardrobe without asking?_

The black-haired man had just reappeared after taking a shower, hair still wet and hanging into his face. It would have been similar to Hyungwon's had he not made sure to dry his properly after his own shower, a skill that his boyfriend obviously didn't possess. Independent of that he looked gorgeous, skin pale and a little moist, defined muscles reflecting the light prettily and reminding Hyungwon that age was just a number, especially if one took care of one's body.

Grinning he snuggled further into the pullover and left his thin body above the blanket, long legs stretched out and black bangs framing his small face. He added a lip bite to appear less purposeful and curled his fingers into the blue fabric at his waist.

“Mind educating me about the purpose of the show?” Hoseok asked pointing at his body with an index finger and lifting an eyebrow.

_No fun._

Hyungwon sighed and licked over his lips, ruffling up his bangs a little.

“I just feel pretty in your pullover,” he replied calmly and slid down along the headboard, letting the fabric ride up his thigh a little as his hands remained around his own waist.

“You look stunning, actually everything you do is in vain because you just have to breathe to take my breath away, let's be honest here.” The older man tugged the edge of the white towel tighter around his hips and eyed him from head to toes.

_Interesting._

Hyungwon smiled at the compliment and rose, kneeling on the bed instead and allowing one side of the pullover to fall down his shoulder, showing the golden collarbone and more of the skin.

“Doesn't that mean that you'd almost choke if I add more effort then?” he asked, voice breathy and eyes dark. He wanted to have an effect, it had worked before with much less so it had to work now. Hoseok was a challenge with his constant calm. Sure, the older man showed feelings and was affected greatly by emotional situations but Hyungwon wanted to see want in the black eyes. Without having to ask for it.

_He must have something that he's into._

“No.” The low voice echoed in the spacious room. “I can't believe you still don't know me well enough to know.” One edge of his curled lips lifted in a smirk.

“I do know,” Hyungwon replied, copying the smirk and playing with the fabric, lifting it up and pulling it down his right thigh. “I just don't want to give in yet. It's too easy, you can't always get everything just like that, Hoseok. That's not how I tick.”

“See? You don't know.” The older man grinned and sat down on the bed, lifting one leg up and resting his back against the headboard.

Hyungwon fought with himself to refrain from pouting or frowning, going through the past scenarios in which he had gotten Hoseok easily and not understanding how letting go was not the point. It had always been his expression of emotions that got the other man going.

_Fuck._

Biting down on his lower lip he stared at the older man, attempting to read his features and understand what he was thinking.

“Maybe there are several things and I haven't found the right one yet,” he whispered and sat down on his calves, fabric covering most of his thighs and still hanging down from one shoulder. “Is this a game you want me to play?”

“No, you played it perfectly, not knowing what the rules were, but now you started thinking and got out of concept,” Hoseok replied, dark eyes scanning him and pink tongue licking over the red lips. “Don't try to find a button and use it, I'll get rid of it immediately.”

Hyungwon felt the anger tingling at his fingers, wanting to grab the older man by the collar, if the other had one and hiss in his face. Instead he bit his lip painfully and crawled on top of Hoseok’s lap, scratching over the shoulders, not really caring if it hurt and stared at him, lips only millimetres apart.

“Fuck you, Hoseok,” he hissed and grabbed the black hair forcefully, fucking his prior decision to wait and clashing their lips together. “I just hate being the first to give in so much. Why is it always me?”

“You mean ‘Fuck me, Hoseok.’” The other man laughed before grabbing his hips and turning them around, his back clashing against the mattress, pale body hovering over him in an instant. “I've never wanted you to give in immediately, you silly boy,” the low voice groaned against his lips.

_Manipulative asshole._

_Just like you._

Gasping at the change of position Hyungwon buried his free hand in the muscular shoulder, the other remaining in the black hair and pulling repeatedly. His body reacted instantly but he didn't want it to, anger still in place despite rising arousal.

“There you go calling me a boy again,” he murmured, chewing on his lower lip and pressing his right leg up such that it brushed the older man's crotch, wish to not give in remaining in the back of his head. But at the same time the pullover kept the pale naked skin away from his and he hated that too. “This is unfair, fuck.”

“It's because you are, you're such a good boy, fuck, I love it.” Hoseok bit into the smooth skin of his neck, most definitely leaving a mark. Then the other man stood up abruptly, moving over to the wardrobe and opening a door. “I'm going to show you something fun, are you in, or do you want to slap my chest and tell me that it's all unfair, like a mad toddler?”

Hyungwon bit his lip, body on fire since Hoseok had the audacity to call him a good boy although he kept getting angry about it.

 _You're a hypocrite_.

“All in,” he whispered, sitting up properly and playing with the fabric of the sweater paws, pulling them further over his knuckles and watching the older man. Shit, he was so fucking hooked.

“Fine, I thought so, get rid of the useless fabric then.” The older man pulled out two black ribbons before taking something that looked like a very thin belt. Closing the distance Hoseok placed everything on the bed and left the room.

_Holy shit._

Hyungwon stared at the ribbons for approximately twenty seconds, wondering if it was justified that he didn't feel humiliated but affected instead. He gave up almost immediately, pulling the pullover over his head and throwing it to the ground. Taking a few deep breaths he lay down on the soft sheets, excitement bubbling in his chest and curiosity making him want to jump up and follow the older man instead of remaining on the bed obediently.

The door opened and Hoseok entered the room, swinging one of the beautiful black cognac tumblers in his hand. He undid the knot of the white towel with a practiced movement and let it fall on the floor, walking towards him beautifully naked.

Hyungwon sat up again, one knee lifted up and stared at the older man, genuinely unsure about what Hoseok planned on doing. The items just didn't add up, but the excitement remained.

“I’m impatient,” he whispered and let his long fingers travel upwards over his bent leg, watching the beautiful man in front of him.

The glass was placed right next to the bed as the older man crawled on top of him, muscular thighs on each side of his slim hips.

“That's a belt choker, might be weird for the first time, but after seeing you wearing a chain last time, you'll be fine. You're not going to see anything and your hands will be tied. If something is up you'll say stop, ok?” The pale hands undid the black leather and held it in front of his eyes so he could see it.

_Pretend._

“No safe word?” Hyungwon commented with a grin, tongue licking over his lips quickly to hide the mixture of nervousness and excitement, arousal travelling upwards along his chest and downwards over his legs. He didn't want to seem inexperienced, so he masked it with confidence, as always.

“I'm not going to hurt you, so no, plus you've never said ‘stop’ before so I'll definitely react. I want to spoil you.” Hoseok bit down on his bottom lip and curled his index finger, signal for him to come closer.

Exhaling harshly Hyungwon leaned closer, heat spreading along his neck and collarbones, colouring the golden skin pink. There was something about Hoseok beckoning him that made him want to throw himself at the black-haired man and beg to be touched, naked body shivering although nothing had happened yet.

_You're acting like a starved teenager. Why is he always the one making you desperate?_

“I like being spoiled,” he whispered.   
  
Hoseok put the choker around his thin neck, closing it at the front and checking whether it was lose enough. Bending his head down until their eyes met the older man pulled at the loose end softly, making him lean in closer and catching his bottom lip with the straight teeth.   
  
“You’re so tempting, fuck,” the low voice breathed against his lips before the older man reclined and put a silk ribbon over his eyes, sight darkening and no light coming through.

It was intense, even more so than having his hands bound above his head had. The tactile sensations took over the resources that his vision had occupied, strengthening the way Hoseok’s body felt on top of him just like the softness of the sheets below him and the hands that tightened the ribbon at the back of his head. Licking over his lips blindly Hyungwon reached out until his palms touched the warm chest, stroking along the skin and focusing on the way it felt, each hesitant breath easily identifiable through his fingertips alone.

“I can feel how you react to me,” he whispered, scratching along the firm pec muscles at the words and basking in the reaction he could trace.   
  
“Would you like to keep your hands untied to touch?” Hoseok asked, sliding the second ribbon over his naked body.

“No, I want to-” _be at his mercy._ “I want to see what you are offering. The whole package.”   
  
“Good, then stretch out your hands.” The low voice was full of want. Hyungwon was able to detect it as soon as he didn’t have to succumb to the intimidating gaze of the older man. It was clear that Hoseok loved every second of it, loved taking away Hyungwon's ability to touch and act and making him shiver at each soft touch, basking in the overwhelming power. Licking over his lips again Hyungwon stretched out his hands, keeping the slim wrists close together.   
  
After a couple of seconds had passed he felt how the pleasant fabric tightened around his wrists, making him unable to move, but not hurting him in any way. The bed shifted and Hoseok must’ve reached for something before returning to the previous position over his hips.   
  
“I want you to put your hands over your head and to spread your legs.” The attractive, low voice spoke clearly without interruptions. The older man climbed off his body and was probably waiting for him to follow the instructions. It was exciting, of course it was, body burning and erection firm against his stomach, but there was also something slightly intimidating about it, something about the fact that Hoseok had control after tying him up and taking over his senses. He had an inherent dominance that didn’t even require any tools.

His chest rose and fell rapidly although he hadn’t been touched yet. Lifting the slim arms up over his head and letting them rest on the soft sheets Hyungwon bit his lip and spread his legs slowly, unaware of where exactly Hoseok was and what the older man could see.   
  
A couple of seconds passed before a drop fell on his chest and rolled down his stomach, until a warm, wet sensation caught it, probably a tongue. It was intense as he wasn’t able to see and the other man had obviously paid attention to his position, not touching him unnecessarily. Another one followed shortly before it was caught in the same way. Warmth spread down his sides, fingers stroking along them and mouth trailing the path of the drops once again, kissing and biting the skin.

A moan escaped his tightly closed lips, unable to contain it as his thighs shivered at the ministrations, heat only increasing and senses drowning in the perceptions. Hissing Hyungwon bit down again, this time harsher to suppress his reactions, each touch causing a firework to explode in his groin. When another delicate caress followed his thighs pushed together, again involuntarily.   
  
Strong hands pulled them apart as the other man’s body seemed to settle between his legs, more liquid flowing down his chest as hungry lips and tongue collected it, little moans and lewd sounds filling the space. When it had almost driven him crazy, reaching the border of his sanity, Hoseok stopped, pushing his legs apart even further.   
  
“I tasted cognac from you and now I’m going to taste you.” The voice was impossibly low and demanding, grip on his thighs increasing as he felt how Hoseok breathed against the tip of his erection, licking over it and tracing the veins with his hot tongue.

The touch didn’t resemble anything he had ever felt before, sensation increased threefold and sending sparks along his legs, head turning from side to side, unable to resist.

“Fuck, you’re driving me mad,” Hyungwon murmured, desperation only multiplying the more time passed and the further his senses sharpened on the tactile perceptions. “Touch me more.”  
  
“I will, but first I want to hear those beautiful moans of yours,” Hoseok replied, sucking on his balls and pushing his legs up for some reason. The tongue travelled further down before it settled at his entrance, teasing and licking around it in circles, pushing and hot air adding up on the sensations.

_Shit._

Hyungwon moaned, strength of will giving out as his lips parted and his black hair splayed further over the pillow. His head turned to the side almost immediately and he gasped at the sensations, convincing himself that he was not going to beg for more, no matter what, asking was okay, but not begging.

“Fucking eat me out already, Hoseok,” he demanded, a little ironic with how he was blindfolded, tied up and lying spread-legged at the older man’s mercy, but he was stubborn.  
  
“Ah, I don’t know about that, do you think you deserve that?” The low voice sounded amused and he could immediately picture a facial expression to the sound, smirk and dark eyes eyeing him up. The tongue continued drawing circles and pushing occasionally without really doing much.

Hyungwon wanted to kick him in the face with how much his body was asking for more, fingers tingling to scratch or force the older man to act, but he couldn’t, not with the way they remained tied up above his head.

“You said you wanted to taste me, so do it, Hoseok, shit.” Another moan left his lips as a shudder passed through his whole body, skilled tongue making him yearn to feel it all.  
  
“I want to, because you’re lying here spread legged and tied up like the most delicious candy I’ve ever seen. I didn’t intend on making you beg right now, you’ll beg by yourself later.” Hoseok’s confidence was no joke, Hyungwon didn’t even have time to answer before the tongue slid into him, moving in and out of him repeatedly, strong hands holding onto his hips and lifting them towards the curved mouth.

Sparks crossed his black vision, covering almost all of it in tiny spots of light as loud moans were leaving his parted lips and his hands pulled at the ribbon around his wrists. The perceptions were overwhelming as his whole body convulsed, pushing closer to the older man’s mouth and attempting to feel more, soak his awareness in the pleasure that Hoseok was offering him.   
  
He didn’t hear it happen, but the tongue had left him and lube coated fingers entered him while the mouth slid down his erection at the same time, deepthroating him repeatedly as two or three digits hit the sensitive spot inside him.

Seeing stars was an understatement.

“Oh my god, Hoseok, shit,” Hyungwon exclaimed, eyes squeezing shut although he was unable to see either way, body burning up from the inside and tingling passion travelling along his legs. His response was impossible to contain, soft scream sounding in the empty room and tied up hands fisting the sheets they could reach, pulling at them repeatedly as he bit his lip with vigor. He wanted the older man to grab him and bend him in half, take him just like that. Shit. “More, I want more. Fuck me already, you asshole.”  
  
He didn’t. Instead the other man deepthroated him again, hitting the spot and increasing the pressure on his throat by pulling the loose end of the choker towards himself.

The feeling was so different from his previous sexual experiences, constricting sensation removing all the ongoing thoughts in his head, quiet spreading and only the sensations from his body coming through, the burning inside of him in addition to the numbing pleasure that the tight throat of the older man around his dick blessed him with. Gasping he buried his nails in his palms, legs tightening around the man between them and almost orgasming at the sensation alone, body barely holding back.  
  
The sensations stopped all together as the lips and the fingers had left him. The bed shifted again and he felt hot, incredibly smooth skin move along his bottom lip. A hand raked through his hair and grabbed a fistfull.

Something short circuited as the lack of pleasure left a gaping blackness in his head, desperation taking over as a whimper left his lips, tongue searching for the familiar smooth skin, wanting to please the older man and receive pleasuring touches in return. He needed it to return, there was nothing else he needed more than that, absence of stimulation almost painful.

“Shit, please, Hoseok.”  
  
“Please what?” The incredibly low voice sounded directly from above him.

Hyungwon bit his lip, stopping himself from answering and saying more than he had already revealed, tongue leaving the plump mouth to lick over the smooth muscle. Inhaling sharply he parted his swollen lips.

“Fuck my mouth,” he whispered and stretched out his tongue, heart beat hammering in his ears without a break.  
  
He felt how the thick erection slid inside his mouth as the grip on his hair tightened. Hoseok was testing out by moving slowly past his lips, low moans filling the acoustic space.

The sounds drove him mad, so much louder without the ability to see the beautiful man. Hyungwon relaxed his throat and swallowed on purpose, tongue sliding along the underside of the older man’s dick as the length slipped further into his mouth. Wanting to hear even more low moans he hummed, basking in the reactions he received.   
  
“Ah, should I fuck you like this or should I make you watch?” Hoseok asked himself while pulling out and moving away, crawling down the bed as it shifted, disappearing somewhere.

“Don’t leave,” Hyungwon exclaimed immediately before his senses returned and he bit his lip again, remaining quiet. His voice was rough, affected by moaning, screaming and deep-throating the well-endowed man. “Just do it.”  
  
“I understand your desperation, but I need a condom and I can’t decide whether I should really fuck you yet, or if I should tease you a little further to make you more needy.” It sounded like an elaboration coming from somewhere on the right.

“Fuck the condom and fuck me already, Hoseok,” Hyungwon whined, legs pressing together and throwing himself deeper into the soft sheets, pulling at the ribbon around his wrists and fighting the emptiness and lack of stimulation. “Please.”  
  
“Fine, fuck this, I’m going to show you what it’s like when you can't see.” He felt how two strong hands pulled his legs down the bed, grabbing his thighs and lifting him up. “Put your arms down, so you can put them around my neck,” Hoseok whispered, holding him in the air with both arms.

Being in the air reduced the awareness even further, only the way Hoseok’s warm skin pressed against his remaining in his conscious perceptions. Exhaling slowly Hyungwon put his arms down, feeling how the soft strands of the older man’s hair tickled his underarms until he was able to dig his nails into the skin of the muscular back, desperation drowning him.

“Oh fucking hell, please, Hoseok, come on,” he murmured and shook his head, leaning forward right after and pressing their foreheads together, basking in every little bit of bodily contact he was able to achieve. He was starving and only the older man was able to provide.  
  
He didn’t have to wait for long as the lube coated tip pressed against him and Hoseok's arms let him slide down his thick and long erection.

Pressing his lips to the curved ones blindly Hyungwon moaned, fullness taking all of his resources and forcing him to want more, to want movement and overwhelming bliss.

“Yes, fuck, please move,” he babbled, not focusing on what he was saying and mainly trying to bring across the message that he needed more, body desiring the pleasure and needing it to calm down, senses on overdrive, burning up every coherent thought. “I fucking beg you, Hoseok. Fuck me up.”  
  
“You can fucking bet, I will.” The groan had been a warning as his body was turned in the air, back clashing against a hard surface, teeth sinking into the skin of his neck and shoulders, fingers digging into the muscles of his thighs while Hoseok moved out and slammed into him, rolling Hyungwon's body smoothly over his own dick.

Hyungwon screamed, head hitting the wall from the intensity and nails scratching over the muscular back with force, rough enough to bruise. His body rolled almost on its own as soon as it recovered from the impact of the wall. He lifted himself with the strength of his legs whenever the older man moved out and let go simultaneously with the strong arms on his hips. It was like drowning in a sea of pleasure, nothing else causing awareness and all hesitation and consideration dissipating like air, only leaving the ruthless wish for pleasure. The lack of sight only increased everything, throat hoarse from the sounds that rained down on the older man, echoing in the gigantic room, darkness surrounding him as constant sparks interrupted it.  
  
He was pulled away from the wall, sounds of objects falling to the floor before he was placed on a cold surface, sending a shiver down his spine. His legs were probably thrown over Hoseok’s shoulders and the other man started thrusting into him roughly, loud, low moans filling the acoustic space.   
  
“Fuck, you’re driving me fucking nuts,” Hoseok groaned.

Hyungwon wanted to reply but screamed instead, head hitting the surface with a dull sound, memories of the exact same position filling his mind at the impact, pleasure wiping everything like a crashing wave right after.

_The desk, you’re on his desk._

He didn’t know what to do with his hands, nails digging into his own palms as the tied wrists slid back and forth on the older man’s work desk, body merely following the movements that Hoseok blessed him with, screams not stopping and pleasure soaring to unfamiliar heights, yearning for the quiet state of bliss he had almost felt previously.

“Pull it,” Hyungwon managed to gasp out before another scream passed through his lips, sparks reappearing and heels digging into the muscles below them, hips attempting to meet each thrust and increase the force, loving every second of it. “Fuck, please.”  
  
The pressure around his throat increased and strong fingers curled around his erection, stroking it according to the thrusts.

It was crazy, surroundings suddenly quietening down just like the thoughts in his head, pleasure the only perception that remained, increasing in a matter of seconds before exploding, orgasm washing over him like a tsunami and taking coherence with it. His muscles gave up after tensing impossibly, white spreading in front of his inner eye until it faded to the background, oxygen returning to his lungs. His heartbeat was deafeningly loud in his ears and lifting his chest, fast and thumping in his legs as well.

“Oh my fucking god.”  
  
Both ribbons were untied in a matter of seconds, bright light hitting his pupils and wrists able to move suddenly. He didn’t though, still overwhelmed and merely watching how the red color moved behind his eyelids, eyes adapting even without opening them yet. His wrists rubbed over the soft silk, basking in the way it felt to touch the texture, a soft gasp leaving his lips. Taking another deep breath he finally opened his eyes, glancing in the direction of the older man.   
  
Hoseok was staring at him, eyes opened wide and colour almost black, just like the strands that hung into the intense eyes. He was panting hard, lips parted and sweat running down the pale skin, blush spread along his neck where Hyungwon had held him and a little on the cheeks.

It was beautiful.

“Come here,” Hyungwon whispered and reached out for the breathtaking face, arms curling around the firm neck as soon as he was able to and plump lips pressing against the curved ones. Rolling his hips he hissed quietly, eyes closing for a second before he opened them again and brushed his mouth over the prettily formed ear.

“I want you to come inside me,” he whispered, feeling how the pale skin reacted to his hot breath and supporting the words with another smooth motion of his hips, contracting on purpose. “So move, babe.”  
  
Hoseok had been waiting for a sign as his hips started moving almost immediately, loud, unrestricted moans flowing out of the parted lips right into his ears. A couple of well aimed thrusts were enough and the older man tensed, releasing himself with a loud groan consisting of curses mixed with his name. For the first time.

Warmth spread in his chest as he immediately pressed the muscular body to his as soon as he could, stroking over the black strands and covering the attractive face with kisses, acting absolutely unlike himself but he didn’t care, emotions speaking for him instead of words.

“I love you,” he murmured and added even more, finishing off with the curved lips, nibbling at the bottom one, intertwining his long fingers with the silky hair at the same time.  
  
A couple of seconds passed as Hoseok regained his ability to breathe before the muscular body took him along to the bed, lying down on top of him.   
  
“I love you.” The dark eyes roamed over his face. “I love you so much! You’re absolutely stunning, I’ve never met anyone like you and it’s mindblowing how many facets of yourself you’re able to show me.”

_You want to give him everything, don’t you?_

“There you go making my tiny confession seem meaningless,” Hyungwon commented with a chuckle and ruffled up Hoseok’s hair. “You’re still a mystery to me, but I like it. I like challenges.”  
  
The older man pulled out, getting rid of the condom he had thankfully worn and coming back with tissues, wiping the mess they created by moving around. After everything was clean Hoseok lay down, curling both arms around his waist and pulling him into his embrace.   
  
“I think it’s hard to be with me. Objectively hard, because I think a lot to myself and make decisions without involving others, only informing them if I think it’s necessary. I might have to change my attitude.” The words were spoken quietly, right next to his ear, trying not to make too much noise.

“You mean you could decide that it is better to not be with me and wouldn't tell me and just fuck off?” Hyungwon wasn’t quite sure why he came up with such an extreme example, but it might have been the general pressure of their situation, complexity only increasing now that Judith was aware of their relationship. “I think I’d have a say in that, wouldn’t I?”  
  
“That depends,” Hoseok answered immediately, biting down on his lower lip. “I would tell you, but purely as information because the decision would’ve been made already. I really don’t think this is right, especially after what I’ve been through the last half a year, but it’s hard to change one's way of thinking, don’t you think?”

“It requires internal motivation, lots of it.” Hyungwon bit his lip, worried about the comment and what it could mean. He was rather difficult to get rid off, but Hoseok seemed like the kind of person that could disappear into thin air if he wanted to, distance and professionalism easily brought out. “But don't do that to me, Hoseok. If there is something you want to decide you have to talk to me, you should know that better than anyone else. No games.”  
  
“I’m not playing games, which is precisely the reason for not throwing empty confessions at you from day one, because I want it to be true, to be as real as possible and the only thing I require from you is that you take this seriously and not think that one thing or the other could be changed in a couple of months. Because it can’t. Not because it’s impossible, but because I wouldn’t want to change this.” The gaze was serious and so were the words, fingers tightening a little around his waist before the other man had realized and loosened his grip.

“I don’t have the intention of changing anything, Hoseok. As I said before, I cannot promise you that it will stay like that, but knowing you and your experiences I don’t think I would be capable of ignorantly expecting you to change something inherent about yourself, not just like that.” Swallowing Hyungwon closed his eyes, reflecting on his words and their depth. “At least I like to think of myself as such a person, one that respects boundaries.”  
  
“Boundaries? I don’t know if it fits. I don’t want to have any boundaries with you, no space. I want to be close, which is the reason for me wanting to change the things that don’t let me.” Hoseok placed a kiss on his shoulder, exhaling loudly against it. It must’ve been a topic that hurt.

The knowledge alone was sufficient to evoke a burning sensation in his chest, wishing to make the beautiful black-haired man feel at ease, to let go of whichever demons kept harassing him and not giving him peace.

“Then let’s be close.” The words were soft, spoken against the black hair as Hyungwon stroked over the older man’s head and along his back, motions tender and caring. “I- I often feel like there is something occupying you, something you decide not to say out loud and I just want you to know that once you want to, I’m here. I love you, Hoseok.”  
  
“But there’s always a reaction, you can’t just listen to everything I have to say without any consequences, without resolutions, without being emotionally or cognitively involved. Do you know what I mean? It will leave a mark, you know, depending on what I might tell you, you might think or do certain things, and I don’t know whether I want you to. And I can’t simulate that far.” The older man must’ve been extremely genuine, saying everything that had been on his mind during that moment.   
  
“Listen up, Hoseok,” Hyungwon began and took a deep breath, hands continuing their tender strokes over the pale skin. “All of it is part of a development, me reacting to the things you might share with me is as much of a development as me going and meeting someone and being affected by that. The difference is that the first is a development we will be going through it together because it is a common experience whereas the second one is not. Therefore, independent of what kind of reaction I am going to have to the things you might share, it will be one that involves you, and the development will also involve you. So I welcome it.”   
  
“Human perception is indeed hilarious. Actually I’m a person who thinks exactly like you. More than that, I’m a person who thinks that it’s fine if it breaks or takes a turn one wouldn’t necessarily like, because it’s all part of an experience and shapes personality and in the end it doesn’t matter anyway because the world is indifferent. And now I’m here all worked up because I just don’t want it to break, being scared because of the amount of feelings I have. Ridiculous as fuck.” Hoseok let out a low chuckle, pressing him even closer, flush against his chest.

“I don’t think we agree fully on your perspective there. I just believe that for relationships common experiences are of great importance. If you hide things that are inherent to your personality it is a part of you that develops independent of me. Are you worried about affecting me negatively or whatever, is that what your main worry is about?” Hyungwon kissed Hoseok's curved lips shortly, establishing eye contact with his mesmerizingly dark eyes. “I am just as scared as you are, just the content is different. I am more scared about you going somewhere I cannot follow.”  
  
“We both can go somewhere the other can’t follow, we just fool ourselves into the belief that everything will be fine, just like humans fool themselves that they’re immortal. They don’t really believe that, but they act like that, and so do we. I just- I just suddenly want to share things but I’m in a way like you. You don’t have the experiences I’ve made because I’ve lived longer and whatnot, and I don’t have the experience of wanting to share everything, and now I’m basically confronted with the fact that I don’t have the practice of doing so.” The dark eyes seemed incredibly genuine, contrasting to the pale face in the dimmed lights.

Hyungwon smiled, curling his arms further around the beautiful older man and feeling happy that they were able to have such genuine conversations, warmth spreading through his chest and reminding him what being in love felt like, pleasant and fulfilling somehow.

“Then I will try to catch up on the experience of dealing with humans and having an adult life and you will catch up on the experience of sharing your concerns. That way both of us have something to learn.” Biting down on his lower lip he glanced to the the ceiling shortly. “But it’s not like I’m an expert. I never share anything, so maybe both of us have to work on that one.”  
  
“I love you and it’s scary,” the other man whispered and pulled him on top of his pale, muscular body, curling his arms even tighter around him and burying his head in the crook of Hyungwon’s neck.

He didn't dare to reply, enjoying the proximity and silently disagreeing. There was no fear in connection to his feelings for Hoseok, none that concerned the older man directly. There were worries about the possible future and their surroundings and his relationship to Judith, but none of them where strong enough to be described as fear. Maybe he was just too inexperienced to see far enough into the future, something Hoseok might have been able to do, recognising difficulties that Hyungwon couldn't even anticipate.

_Talking about everything is much harder than you thought, isn't it?_

“But it doesn’t matter, because fears are an absolutely irrelevant concept here. Thank you for being with me, you make me feel at ease.” The dark gaze appeared, not intimidating at all, just soft and somehow vulnerable, looking up while the curved lips spread in a smile. “I hope I can give you all those things that make you happy.”

The concerns were immediately wiped from his mind at the sight, blinding smile spreading over his lips and cheeks hurting with how wide it was, eyes turning into crescents.

“You do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 23th of May at 2 AM CET.
> 
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> 
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	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can give him something that he really wants.

_ You need the divorce. Soon. Very soon. _ __  
__  
The thought didn’t let him breathe properly, drawing circles inside his mind, driving him crazy because of the insane complexity of his current situation.   
  
_ If she knows that you had a vasectomy, she won’t give you the consent because she’ll hate you for real. If you don’t tell her, she will think that she might be able to make you reconsider.  _ __  
__  
He couldn’t tell Judith. Not until he put the divorce papers with both of their signatures in front of the judge.    
  
_ Think, Hoseok, use your fucking head, you’re so good at this. _ __  
__  
He decided to talk to his wife as soon as they met up, thereby giving her the opportunity to say what she wanted to say and get a glimpse of the situation, making a decision based on the data he’d get. The more, the better.    
  
_  
  
  
Sitting on the red leather couch he brushed through his hair that was styled up for his big presentation a little later. The white tailored shirt and dark blue suit pants were both tight on his ripped body, topped off with a blue-grey tie, adding to the extremely professional look he had to pull because of the inhouse conference. He looked amazing and he knew it, flipping through Murakami’s Norwegian Wood and waiting for his wife to arrive for an uncomfortable talk she didn’t know anything about.   
  
_ Which is perfect, because she can’t prepare and rip your heart into pieces like last time when she was perfectly prepared and you were the loveblind idiot.  _ __  
__  
He had promised himself to never be unprepared again, to not let someone own him so much that they were able to break him in an instant.    
  
_ But aren’t you doing that with Hyungwon too? You’re an idiot, Hoseok. Not quite the ass you pretend to be. _ __  
__  
He closed the book with a loud noise, heart hammering against his chest and fear returning from somewhere deep inside, somewhere he had thought he didn’t have any access to. Breathing in and out repeatedly he opened the book again, trying to find a distraction from the scary thought of becoming vulnerable again.    
  
_ “‘What happens when people open their hearts?" _ __  


_ "They get better.”  _ __  
__  
The words stared at him like a silent judgement, like a reminder that his emotions, his fears and his way of thinking were nothing.

The perspective of a kneeling ant.   
  
Shaking his head he closed the book again, opening it on a different page and focusing his gaze on the words.   
  
_ “Don't feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that.”  _ __  
__  
Chuckling to himself he threw his head back before the chuckle turned into a full blown laugh.   
  
_ Stop pitying yourself, Hoseok, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get your shit together, function, get the divorce. Now. _ __  
__  
A short knock sounded from the direction of the door and Judith walked in, lean body clad in an elegant black business dress, tights emphasizing the well formed legs and ridiculously high grey heels adding up to the picture, perfectly aesthetic, just like the long black locks falling loosely over the slim shoulders. The blue eyes stared at him from under the black bangs and the pretty lips curled up in a smile.   
  
“The boss wanted to see me? You could’ve come down yourself, don’t you think? Isn’t it rude to let me come all the way here?” The mocking undertone meant that the beautiful woman was in a good mood. A good mood he was most definitely going to ruin.   
  
“Take a seat. Want a coffee? How is the campaign going? Is Hyungwon doing a good job?” he asked, leaning in a little and observing the pretty face, trying to detect every twitch of the facial muscles.   
  
Judith sat down across from him, crossing her legs and leaning back, also crossing the arms in front of her chest.   
  
“What do you want?” she asked, gaze narrowing and pink tongue licking over the plump lips.   
  
_ Fine. It was worth a try. _ __  
__  
The beautiful woman knew exactly that he had never done small talk, attentive and alert when it came to him and his behaviours.   
  
_ You need to change. _ __  
__  
“What I want? I want a divorce, Judith.” He spoke clearly, without any emotional undertone although the words hurt somehow. It wasn’t a reaction to something, it just felt like he was really ending a chapter of his life while speaking out those syllables.   
  
The blue eyes widened, arms falling loosely to the sides and lips parting in shock.

“Don't tell me you didn't think about this, you were the one who left and I prepared an extraordinary lawsuit with Changkyun so you must've known already. But we're two adults as you say, so we could make it faster and less disgusting, agreeing on everything beforehand and handing it in as a consensual divorce,” he elaborated further, gesturing with his right hand and grabbing the cup of coffee he had put in front of himself earlier, taking a long sip on purpose.

The expression hardened on the beautiful face, indicating that something uncomfortable was about to come from the plump lips.

“But you know me well, don't you? It doesn't matter whether I left first or not, I still think that you might reconsider so I don't see the point in rushing it. We could live apart for two years and see, I think I've made a mistake so I want to correct it. Why would I sign anything when there's nothing you're offering me? Don't you know the basics of negotiation?” Judith lifted an eyebrow and licked over the red lips slowly.

_ She's a manipulative devil. Nothing you didn't know and nothing you should be afraid of. _

“Sure. You don't understand now because you have no insight into what will happen, but I was simply trying to be a decent human being by giving you the possibility to end this brainless torture and move on instead of watching how your hay house crumbles right in front of your eyes. You might think you know me, Judith, but I'm afraid that this time you greatly overestimate yourself.” A small smile played around his lips as he watched the beautiful woman in front of him. She was getting angry, resulting from the fact that she felt powerless at his comment.

“If you think that I'm intimidated by the fact that you're dating, not at all, Hoseok. I don't give a shit, sure fuck around and have some fun in a new exciting environment with a pretty young boy, but in the end it won't compare, nothing will and you'll start thinking about everything.” The voice sounded desperate and the amount of delusion regarding his inner state had sent a shiver down his spine.

_ Holy fuck, she really doesn't take it seriously. You need to show her, Hoseok, replace everything with him until there is no space anymore. No space to return and no space for her, so she'll understand. _

_ Let her watch how you can simply fill her spot with someone else.  _

“I feel genuinely sorry for you, Judith. I'm here if you reconsider and until then, do a good job and don't think about unnecessary stuff. That's all for today, see you at the 2PM presentation.” He spoke clearly and loudly, professional attitude easily sliding into the way he talked and making conversation so much easier.  __  
__  
Judith stood up and walked towards the exit, fingers clenched into fists. She hated losing verbal fights. 

“Ah, and please don't call me honey, it doesn't really fit with our relationship right now, I hope you can understand,” he added, waiting for the insult that came after a couple of seconds. 

“Fuck you, Hoseok.” The small hand grabbed the handle and the delicate woman disappeared behind the door. 

_ It's still more of a ‘Fuck me, Hoseok’, isn't it? _

It probably was. 

_  
  


He loved being in his element, standing in front of a lot of people and talking about things he had a very high level of expertise in.   
  
The inhouse conference was going smoothly and it was time for his big presentation. He looked in the mirror, fixing the knot of the perfectly fitting tie and slipped into the dark blue suit jacket that made him look even more professional. Sure, it was all superficial, but he had learned to use the biased human nature to his own advantage pretty early in life.

He threw a practiced intimidating gaze to himself and a bright smile spread across his pale face.   
  
_ Perfect. _ __  
__  
The presentation materials were ready, Hyungwon had prepared everything meticulously and even put a cup of coffee next to the laptop. The beautiful dark-blue eyes were fixed on his, basically eating him up from the second row. Just like the second pair of blue eyes, look intense and tension visible from the way the slim woman held herself, sitting stiffly and with her back straight on the black chair. He had already gotten used to the fact that Judith and Hyungwon worked together which also resulted in both of them sitting next to each other. There wasn’t one empty chair and Hoseok felt satisfied about that, clearing his throat a couple of times and greeting the audience.    
  
He spoke without notes, not looking behind him and supporting his points with gestures, suggesting examples and putting a good joke or two in between, loosening the atmosphere, but soon returning to the complex topic and portraying the important milestones right after. He was good and he knew it. 

The talk took exactly thirty minutes, just as he thought with a very lively discussion right after. He managed to answer every question perfectly and even a very tricky one coming from his still wife who probably wanted to make him nervous. In vain.    
  
Leaving the stage accompanied by a very encouraging applause he nodded towards some company collaborators and clients who had come only because of him, stopping for a couple of minutes to thank everyone personally.    
  
_ There’s nothing better than a handsome face to a ‘thank you’ and people will be grateful and remember your ‘nice’ personality. You never know when you might need it. _ __  
__  
Being an incredibly friendly person, he listened to some irrelevant talk before excusing himself and disappearing in the direction of the bathroom. __  


As soon as he had taken care of his business and moved to the sink to wash his hands the bathroom door opened and the familiar long and lean body, clad in a dark blue suit, appeared in his periphery. 

“You were amazing,” the beautiful young man whispered in his low voice as Hoseok dried his hands and turned towards him. The dark blue eyes had lost almost all of their colour, blackness spreading around the iris as the plump lower lip was sucked into the pretty mouth. The long fingers moved along the wooden door and the younger man leaned against it while keeping his gaze. 

_ What the flying fuck? _

“What are you doing? Closing me in inside a bathroom for being a bad person?” Hoseok chuckled and turned around, resting his hips against the sink.

Hyungwon let go of his lower lip and grinned instead, brushing the black bangs back into form and walking towards him. Exhaling harshly the younger man suddenly grabbed his wrist tightly and pulled him into a bathroom stall without hesitation, strength surprising. Closing the door quickly and clashing their lips together the long fingers immediately pulled his hair painfully, slim body flush against him, erection obvious against his hip.    


_ He wants you.  _

Hoseok was someone who loved straightforward behaviour but the shamelessly sexual signals had caught him off guard. He gasped, tightening his fingers around the slim suit-clad waist before catching himself after a couple of loud breaths.

“Want me to give you a private presentation?” He lifted his mouth corners up in a smirk, trying to hold himself back from reacting too obviously. 

_ But why, Hoseok? You can with him, can't you? _

The beautiful man didn't reply, removing his eager hands from Hoseok’s body and using them to loosen the ties around both of their necks, actions quick and thorough. Once he had both garments hanging on one index finger each he bit his lower lip again, staring at Hoseok, blush covering his face. It was always the tell tale sign that the younger man was impossibly affected, yearning for affection. 

“Tie me up, blindfold me and fuck me against the wall, Hoseok.”   


_ Oh fuck.  _

“There's nothing I'd love to do more, fuck.” He snapped immediately, pulling both ties off the long index fingers, grey one going to the hands, tying the thin wrists together in a matter of seconds, before he placed Hyungwon’s tie around the big blue eyes, taking the other man's sight. 

_ He trusts you, you should trust him too. _

“I somehow know that I shouldn't, but you just fill out my mind and make me think that it's okay to stop being alert.” He leaned in, licking over the plump lips, red from the white teeth repeatedly abusing them.

Hyungwon exhaled slowly, body shivering although Hoseok hadn't done anything yet, merely blessing the younger man with the touch of his lips. The long fingers dug into the soft palms, restricted in their movement as the red mouth parted again, preparing to speak. Knowing his location the black-haired man lifted his slim leg, adding friction to Hoseok’s groin repeatedly.

“I'll be quiet, no one will know,” the low voice murmured against his lips, closing the distance between their bodies. “Take me, Hoseok.”

_ That's not what you meant, but fair enough. _

He pressed the thin man against the cabin wall, fingers roaming along the clothed body as he sunk down to his knees, opening the cognac coloured belt, freeing the straight erection and licking over the tip immediately. 

“Fuck,” Hyungwon hissed loudly as his head rolled back against the stall wall, forsaking his previous promise of being quiet, voice loud in the room. As if he realised the younger man sucked his lower lip into his mouth, whimpering instead and grabbing Hoseok’s black hair with the bound hands, pulling painfully. “I don't need foreplay, I want you inside of me.”

“You think I'm doing this for you? Cute.” The gorgeous dick disappeared in his mouth as he traced the veins with his tongue. Letting go he put his hand in the pocket of Hyungwon’s pants, getting out a small bottle of lube and a condom, not being surprised at anything at that point. 

_ It’s him. What surprise? _

Hoseok stood up, catching the plump lower lip with his teeth, nibbling on it but taking care to not bite too painfully. The belt loosened in a matter of seconds as he slid down his pants, freeing his own prominent erection and preparing in record time. Grabbing the slim hips, he turned Hyungwon around, realizing that it had been the only position they were able to pull off in that constellation and pressing his wet tip against the tight entrance. 

Another visible shiver passed through the long legs, gasp leaving the plump lips as the body in front of him pushed against him, muscles contracting in anticipation instead of relaxing.

“Shit, just do it, Hoseok,” Hyungwon mumbled, desperation overwhelming as the bound hands scratched along the stall wall, noise audible. “Fucking please.”

He pushed himself in slowly, not quite trusting the other man's judgement and considering the love for rough treatment, coming to the conclusion that he had to use his own brain. Moaning against the shoulder he tightened his fingers around the slim hips.

“Fucking move,” the younger man cursed impatiently, covering his mouth with the help of his upper arm and moaning against it, successfully muffling the erotic sounds he produced, tight ass contracting around Hoseok repeatedly. Hyungwon must have given up on his ability to think, throwing himself at him and basking in each touch and motion. “I fucking want you, you asshole, so move.” 

_ No fucking way.  _

“Beg for it, you fucking tease. Tell me how much you want it or I won't do anything,” he hissed into the small ear before biting into the clothed shoulder.

It was amazing how the thin body tensed at the words, contracting around him and teeth visibly biting down on the golden skin of the upper arm. It seemed like his order called back the last bit of restraint the younger man was capable off, stubbornness returning full force as the hips pushed against him, erection sliding in all the way and beautiful black hair moving back and forth with the force with which the attractive young man shook his head. The plump mouth remained attached to the lean bicep.

_ Stubborn asshole. Beautiful, mesmerizing but fucking stubborn asshole.  _

He pulled Hyungwon’s slim hips towards his own, holding them in an iron grip, biting into the smooth skin of the delicious neck, not being able to hold back and groaning in the lowest possible voice. 

“You better give me what I want or I will just leave you here, tied up and eager like that. That would be such I waste, don't you think? I'll be really good to you, I promise.” 

Hyungwon's breath hitched at the words, goosebumps spreading over the golden skin, ties around the eyes and wrists only adding up on how ethereal the young man looked. Whimpering desperately the beautiful mouth parted from the skin of the lean upper arm and teeth settled on the plump bottom lip instead.

“Fuck me, Hoseok. I can't fucking think about anything else, my body is burning to the ground since you began presenting and I couldn't focus on anything but the way you could fill me up and how your voice sounds against the shell of my ear,” the black-haired man murmured, voice rough and nails scratching along the white wall. “I want you so much, I'll give you everything.” A pause followed as the tight body contracted around him again, lungs sucking in air like a drug. “Take me, please. Please, please, please. Fucking please.”

His dick twitched inside the tight ass, words going straight to his groin and setting everything on fire. 

“Fuck, how am I supposed to monitor? Shit, fuck this.” He pulled out almost completely, slamming into the slim hips, groaning loudly and one hand disappearing in the black hair, grabbing a fistfull and pulling it back, bare neck on display for him to ravish. 

The younger man had no possibility of hiding his reaction in that position, screaming at the way Hoseok hit perfectly and repeatedly muttering ‘yes’, delirium setting in with each moan that left the plump lips.

“Mark me,” Hyungwon gasped loudly, tied hands propped up against the wall and spine curved attractively from the way Hoseok pulled the black hair back. 

He wasn't able to hold back, sinking his teeth into the lower half of the delicious neck while thrusting into the beautiful body roughly, high approaching so incredibly fast that he had no possibility of stopping, one hand reaching for the beautiful erection and stroking it at the same pace as the hips that slammed into the thin body.

Hyungwon shook his head suddenly, black strands moving back and forth, some of them leaving the carefully arranged style and covering the tie around the beautiful man's eyes. The younger was moaning desperately and meeting each thrust despite the attempt to communicate, thighs shivering constantly.

“Don't- I-” Hyungwon wasn't able to finish as he screamed loudly, body convulsing at the angle. “It'll be a mess. I- I can't, you first.”

_ He's right.  _

Removing his fingers, Hoseok threw his head back, moaning and finally orgasming while pulling Hyungwon’s slim hips impossibly close, burying himself inside the beautiful man. It was intense, but Hyungwon hadn't come yet and it was the only thing that kept him sane. Pulling out he got rid of the condom, cleaning himself and Hyungwon with the tissues and turning the lean body around. Hoseok removed both ties, giving the younger man the possibility to see and touch before sinking down to his knees and taking the gorgeous erection into his mouth. 

The long fingers intertwined with the strands of his hair immediately as another shiver passed through the lean legs and the straight erection twitched in his mouth, as if seeing Hoseok on his knees evoked a particular reaction in the beautiful young man.

“I’m close anyway,” the plump lips whispered as Hyungwon hit his head against the wall and bit his lip to remain quiet, whimpering the only noise that entered Hoseok’s ears in addition to the lewd sound of his tongue. “Fuck, you drive me mad.”

There was nothing that Hoseok had wanted more than to make Hyungwon moan in that beautiful, low voice, inhibition gone and pleasure tingling on the tips of his fingers, so he went all out, deepthroating him and humming over the twitching erection. 

The long legs almost gave out at the pleasure, fingers pulling painfully at his hair and a loud moan leaving the plump lips, followed by curses and intense groans. The younger man appeared delirious again, hazy from the bliss and continuously begging Hoseok for more, unaware of how much strength he used to pull or scratch over clothed shoulders. 

A few more bobs of his head were absolutely sufficient to feel Hyungwon tense and release himself inside his mouth with a scream, slim body giving out and sliding down along the wall. 

_ Why is he so fucking intense? Fuck.  _

He caught the hips halfway, sucking up and letting the erection slip out of his mouth. Standing up he held Hyungwon pinned against the wall before finding his plump lips and letting the younger man taste himself on his tongue.

The lean arms curled around his neck as the beautiful man attached himself to his muscular body, kissing back and breathing heavily against his lips, body only gradually recovering from the high. 

“Fuck, this is a public bathroom. I'm so irresponsible, shit,” the plump lips whispered suddenly but Hyungwon showed no intention of letting go, covering his face with small kisses and biting down on the pale skin of his neck. “There is something about you when you give a talk, confident arse.”

“Want me to bend you over the speaker’s desk next time? I'd gladly do that.” Hoseok smirked and licked into the addictive mouth. “Aren't we both irresponsible?”

“You're the one who suggested bending me over the podium, it wasn't me. Just for the record,” Hyungwon remarked with a grin and let go, pulling his pants up and closing the belt, doing the same with Hoseok’s right after, kissing his lips in the process. “I was screaming out loud because of you. I really tried to be quiet and have common sense but you- you just fuck it.” A loud laugh left the plump lips. “Literally.”

Their ties were lying on the ground and the younger man picked them up quickly, fixing Hoseok’s first and pulling it tight around the muscular neck before doing the same with his own, chewing on his lower lip as he liked doing. Large hands brushed over the dark blue fabric to make sure it was acceptable and flawless, just like the black bangs that were returned to the back, uncovering the forehead. 

“Wow, you don't look like you just got fucked against the wall of a public toilet while being tied up and blindfolded. That's impressive.” Hoseok grinned and pulled the younger man into a hug, pressing his lips against the beautiful neck. There was a mark from his teeth right under the collar and he thanked whatever he needed to for the fact that it wasn't visible.

“Can't do anything about the blush,” Hyungwon commented and shrugged, biting his lip at the way Hoseok caressed his neck and putting a little bit of distance between them. “Be careful, I'm young and very impressionable and there is neither time nor would my body be able to take more just like this.”

“I just wanted to make sure I didn't mark you where someone could see. I want you to have a nice work life, remember?” He smiled and opened the door, walking out and going straight to the sink, washing his hands and face once. 

“How could I forget?” The younger man did the same, hurrying up and placing a kiss against Hoseok’s nape before leaving the room with a nonchalant wave, as if he hadn't just jumped him right after a talk in the employee's bathroom. 

_ He makes you experience all kinds of things. _

Hoseok stared at his reflection, intense eyes and thankfully styled up hair framing the pale face. He looked handsome and way younger than he actually was, the formal attire taking away some of the effect. 

The talk with Judith came to mind, grabbing his thoughts and turning them in the same direction. He needed to make her understand that there was no way for her to come back. 

_ And no space. You need him to fill the space. _

Monitoring how his thinking patterns started to circle around the simulation of possible next steps he sucked in air, a little voice, quiet but somehow highly relevant whispering that he hadn't thought about something very important. 

_ Hyungwon. Don't you need to involve him? He's not a tool, Hoseok. You're not at war with him and you need him so it might be better to tell him about this.  _

Shaking his head he pushed himself off the sink and left the room, immediately meeting the beautiful CEO of the UK company that had signed the contract for Hyungwon’s product and starting a conversation about a professional topic he was interested in. Just to forget his previous thoughts. 

_ You can't forget them, because they're relevant. You can't just do everything in the same way you did it before, Hoseok. _

_ It'll end the same way otherwise.  _

_  


  
_ Does he really love you, or does he love the way you fuck him up? _ __  
__  
He had no idea why he had started to think about this all of the sudden, but the fact alone had made him extremely uncomfortable. He needed Hyungwon to be able to get a divorce and to give the younger man what he wanted.   
  
_ But how do you know what he wants? Maybe he just wants to date and doesn’t consider all the things you already determined to be necessary to fill the space and make her sign. _ __  
__  
It was evening and Hyungwon had already gone home after the long day, only him and his highly inefficient thoughts remaining in the almost dark office. Hoseok knew that he had to talk to the beautiful man, that he had to make the first step, to explain, to make the other understand, but at the same time he felt vulnerable, at Hyungwon’s mercy, weak without the other and not able to do anything. There was fear, fear of rejection, fear of being told that the other person didn’t want their relationship to progress, that everything was fine just the way it was. To be the idiot. Again.    
  
_ Where is your confidence, Hoseok? Where the fuck did you lose it?  _ __  
__  
Breathing in and out repeatedly, he stood up and took his phone, pressing the one for a couple of seconds until he heard the long beeps. Hyungwon didn’t pick up, probably busy or just asleep, but he still spoke on the mailbox on his way to the car.    
  
“Hey, listen, we need to have a rather serious talk about a couple of things. I’ll be home in a bit, so if you are free I’ll wait for you there.” He waited for a couple of seconds and hung up, sliding into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. 

The way home was fast, the streets of Paris being rather empty at that time of the night. He took a look at his phone while going up the stairs but there was no reply. 

_ Maybe he doesn't want to have a serious talk, you probably scared the balls out of him with the message.  _

Throwing the phone on the couch he got rid of the expensive suit and stepped into the spacious shower, washing his body and basking in the intoxicating scent of coffee cake. 

_ Hyungwon also doesn't know that you can make perfect coffee cake.  _

Hoseok suddenly had to laugh out loud at the thought and a possible grimace Hyungwon would make if Hoseok decided to bake a cake for him. 

_ It's his birthday next week, you could.  _

Shaking his head he stepped out, drying himself while leaving his hair wet and tugged the towel around his hips. 

It had been perfect timing as the phone buzzed, hinting at a received message. 

‘I'll come, but I hope psychological knowledge told you what a shitty message you have left on my mailbox.’ A few seconds passed during which Hoseok glanced at the words before another one appeared. ‘Can I use the company card for a cab?”

He threw his head back, rolling his eyes before staring back at his phone and typing a reply. 

‘Amazing. That depends on the point of view and personal preferences. Yes, you can.’ He pressed send and hoped that Hyungwon would at least get a tiny anger related mental breakdown.

_ Why are you like this, Hoseok? You are not twelve, concentrate on your goal.  _

He dressed hastily, pulling the black shorts over his butt and slipping into a white under armour shirt, throwing himself on the couch and staring at his phone. Hoseok opened the gallery and almost choked on his saliva, finding a mass of pictures mainly consisting of Hyungwon’s face in all possible angles. The corners of his mouth went up until the smile turned into a full blown laugh. 

_ He's perfect, isn't he? _

The bell rang loudly, only adding to the sound of his laughter and forcing the constant silence and emptiness he felt in the spacious apartment to the background. 

He pushed the button and waited till the slim figure appeared at the door, holding his phone into the other man's face and laughing like a monkey. 

“What the fuck is this, Hyungwon? I almost choked on my spit.” 

The younger man grinned, a little out of breath from the stairs and brushed a hand through his hair nonchalantly before pushing against Hoseok’s shoulder and walking past him. 

“Me in all my beautiful glory of course,” Hyungwon commented and threw his black sports bag to the side, the one he used when he stayed over and had to work the next day, probably including a suit and tie. “Multiple times.”

“It's over a hundred pictures, I'm dying,” he whispered, picking up a tear that rolled down from laughing too much. 

“It's 258 to be exact. My goal for this week was 300, but you started leaving your phone on your desk much less frequently, so I didn't manage.” Hyungwon shrugged and placed a kiss to the wet area on Hoseok’s cheek, slipping out of his chucks right after. “I'm glad it was such a positive surprise. I left out the nudes in case Kihyun checks your phone just like I do.” The younger man winked and walked to the kitchen as if he lived there, taking out a cup and starting the coffee machine. 

_ He might live here for real.  _

Hoseok sucked in a breath, laughing making him feel much less vulnerable and preparing him for the intense topic. 

Following Hyungwon inside his kitchen he stopped a meter away from the beautiful young man, leaning his hips against the counter. 

“Do you want me to start immediately, or do you prefer some questions about your day and the taste of the coffee?”  _  
_

“Hit me,” Hyungwon murmured, pulling his thin body up on the counter next to the coffee machine and smile wiped from his features, dark blue eyes focusing on Hoseok’s face after studying his hair for a second. “And buy a hairdryer. You'll die in winter.”

“Let's see, maybe I won't need to dry it myself,” he commented, voice quiet and more to himself. Focusing his gaze on the dark blue eyes he grabbed the edge of his kitchen counter and sucked in a breath. 

“What do you expect from this relationship, Hyungwon?” 

“Wow,” the younger man remarked and glanced to the side, shifting his hips on the counter. “That's a pretty open end question, isn't it? I'm not sure whether I thought about this as deeply as you apparently expect me to. I want to date you and preferably for a long time. Is this enough or do you want to hear particular outlooks like in an interview? Where do I see myself in five years and all that buzz?”

_ What did you expect? Did you even expect anything? _

He sighed, looking at the ceiling for a couple of seconds before returning his gaze to the big eyes.

“Well you did have an opinion on dating a married man, you didn't think about what you want from this?”

“Preferably you, in a non-married state and at the same time with me. That's what I want,” Hyungwon replied and slipped down, filling the espresso handle with coffee and attaching it to the coffee machine, letting the brown liquid fill the cup. Once it finished he took a sip and jumped back up, watching Hoseok intently. “I thought it was pretty straightforward that I want to have you, with whatever that entails.”

_ Just tell him the problem and let him try to figure out the solution.  _

“That's not much thought, but I guess you've also never been in a complex situation like this. Let me explain.” He walked over to the machine and started making a coffee for himself. “I want a divorce, but Judith doesn't think it's necessary. If the divorce is not consensual I would have to live like this for another one and a half years, which I really don't want to do. I talked to her and she thinks she can have me back, which is of course bullshit, but she doesn't get my point. I need her to sign those papers, she'd give up my last name and all the other things that will be hard for her. To make it work I need you, and to do it with you, I need to know what you want.” 

The big eyes widened at the mention of the one and a half years and remained like that as the golden fingers tightened around the cup. Breathing in deeply the young man closed his eyes, placing the coffee on the counter next to him as his hands covered one knee, legs crossed. Hyungwon was preparing himself to be analytical. 

“You would have to offer her something so she agrees. Either that or make her understand that it's no use to try to get you back. Wouldn't knowing that you can't have children do the job?” The beautiful man sighed, ruffling up his hair. “Isn't it clear that I want you to divorce and be mine? So if you need me to get that I'll help I guess. I just don't see how.”

Hoseok laughed at the suggestion, reasoning absolutely obvious for him but not for the other man. 

“She'd never give me the divorce if she knew. Ever. That's not an option. The only way I think she might understand is to diminish every possibility of her ever coming back.” His eyes caught the beautiful blue ones, staring into them and trying to understand what the handsome man was thinking. 

Teeth settled on the plump lower lip as Hyungwon lifted a corner of his mouth, hinting at a smile but not quite there. 

“So now you want me to fill the empty space after all?”

“Yes. To be honest you already filled it, but not to the outside, she can't see inside my mind. I need to show her so she understands.” He grabbed the cup of coffee from under the machine and took a sip, putting more distance between their bodies on purpose. “But, I need to know what your perspective is to put it into action. I could've used you as a tool, doing all this while acting as if my motives were purely romantic, but I don't think I want it to become this kind of relationship. I also don't know whether I want to be a person like that. Probably not.”

Something about the pretty facial features changed, making them impossible to read as all the typical gestures remained. Hyungwon still chewed on his lower lip but Hoseok couldn't tell what the black-haired man thought about his words, merely watching him carefully. 

“Mmh,” the younger man hummed, signalling that he listened after no proper answer despite time passing. He appeared to be in thought but it was hard to tell, long fingers playing with the fabric of his jeans and face passive. “How about you drop all the ‘hypothetical’ speak you like so much and just straight out tell me what you want from me? You keep asking what I want, but the one who really wants something right now is you, isn't it? I already told you what I want. It won't change and it won't magically turn into something more elaborate that you want to hear. What exactly do you want me to do to fill the space such that it is visible to the outside?”

_ And now he acts as if you not being divorced is not what he wants. Amazing. Maybe it's just you then.  _

“What I want? I want to be free. What I need to do? That's the actual question, but the answer is pretty clear. I have to make you move in with me and make the relationship public.” Hoseok narrowed his gaze, leaning back on his naked arms, head tilted to the side and observing every twitch of the handsome face.

“That's everything I wanted to hear, Hoseok. You sound angry, even if you didn't mean to.” Hyungwon sighed and a little bit of desperation returned to his face. “Of course I want you to be free too, as long as free means that you are free to be with me. I just felt like you were talking around your actual request to ease me into it, expecting me to say something that I'm not sure I would have. What exactly would making the relationship public mean for me? I- I'm a little scared to be honest.”

“You're mistaken. I never even once wanted to ease you into anything, I think you have no idea what I think and why I'm actually doing all this.” He massaged his temples, anger starting to boil him from the inside. “Either way, making the relationship public would mean you'd be dating your married boss and everybody would know.” He gulped down the coffee and walked towards the living room, opening the bottle of cognac he had used to drink from the golden skin the other day and pouring some into the black glass.

_ It sucks. It fucking sucks, Hoseok, all of it.  _

Hyungwon followed, throwing himself on the couch and watching him carefully. The long legs were pulled to the lean chest and the younger man rested his head on top of his knees. 

“Let's assume we do all that. I'm not completely independent there, what happens to Namjoon?” 

“I don't know, Hyungwon, that's what you have to think about. You could tell him that it's for a certain time if you're not willing to live apart. I just know Judith and how she thinks.” Taking a sip he leaned against the cupboard and closed his eyes, letting the taste occupy his senses. 

“You're an idiot, Hoseok.” Hyungwon frowned, but patted the soft leather next to him, hinting at Hoseok to come closer. “The problem is not the wish to live together, but the fact that Namjoon couldn't afford to stay there without me paying half of the rent. I'd be an asshole if I just left him to deal with it on his own.” _  
_

“The rent? I'll pay it. If the problems are solved with money it's expenses,” he murmured and took another sip. “And I'd have to postpone making you my partner which I intended on doing. There's no way I can make you my partner and announce the relationship publicly. It'll be an unnecessary shit show.” 

_ The pile of shit is the only thing he has from being in a relationship with you. _

“You wanted to make me your partner?” Hyungwon was shocked, eyes almost the size of saucepans. “Thank you, but why? You'll get so much shit for it, I'm young and everybody will think that I can't do anything.”

“You're amazing, intelligent, have very good ideas and a solid base, you're not foolish and know how to appeal to the public. I need you. If you're willing to take responsibility that is.” He finished, gulping down the rest of the cognac and sighing.

“I- oh my god. I'd love to, Hoseok. This would give me exactly what I've been looking for. I'm not sure if you understand the extent to which this solves my insecurities.” The large blue eyes lit up as Hyungwon placed his legs to the ground, sitting down comfortably and showing more of his emotions, excitement obvious. “I didn't really know what to do with myself, how to work and do what I'm good at. I really enjoy doing this, I loved creating my own project, I'm- oh my god.”

_ It's something that he wants, Hoseok. You can give him something that he really wants.  _

“Yes, it fits you perfectly, it really does. I've always been absurdly sure in every decision I've made regarding you.” 

_ And you should keep it like this.  _

He walked over to the couch, sitting down next to the beautiful, excited man and placing a kiss against the shell of the small ear.

The proximity must have been what the younger man was missing, arms curling around his neck and long legs landing on his lap, fully stretched out. 

“How about you give me some time to think about this, Hoseok? It's pretty heavy and I'd like to have some time in which I think rationally instead of deciding based on my current emotional state. I love you and I'd like us to do this right.”

Hoseok leaned in and kissed the black hair, watching how the blue orbs closed at the movement. 

“I love how you never fail to show me that you're indeed a highly intelligent and rational person that knows how to make decisions. You're right. Thank you for listening to me,” he whispered.

“Of course I listen to you.” Hyungwon chuckled, placing kisses all over Hoseok’s face and crawling properly on top of him, slim hips resting on his lap as the long, smooth legs covered the whole couch. There was a grin on the plump lips at the next words. “There is just one thing I'm wondering about, honey. What do you actually want? What makes you happy?”

“Call me honey one more time and I'll really make you wear that beautiful leather harness, take a picture and put it on my work desk as a reminder of what a good boy you are.” He grinned and licked over the plump lower lip. “You. You make me happy.”

The perfectly formed eyebrow rose and Hyungwon shifted on his lap, purposefully judging from the smirk. 

“You have a thing for harnesses, don't you? Just like for tying people up. I will give you the honour of admitting that you are particularly good at hitting well. Got lots of experience?” Again the slim hips shifted on top of him. “Was Judith actually your first woman?"

“Yes, I especially would love to see your beautiful body in one of those. It just looks more ethereal I guess? Do you know what they called me in university? Cosmos Hoseok. You know why? Because you can see all the fucking stars when I'm inside you.” He started laughing at the memory. “But then I met Judith and it kind of threw me out, yes she was my first woman.”

“Holy shit, so she basically turned you straight for six years. Wow.” The younger man climbed off his lap and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing the lean chest and the fact that he couldn't have been wearing underwear with how low his jeans sat. “Your confidence is going places though. Sure, it's nice, but ‘all the stars’ is a little cringy, don't you think?”

“It's because you didn't wear the harness and let me fuck you from behind while I was pulling it. Opinions are always based on experiences you know?” He smirked and licked his lips once. 

“You're kinky, Mister.” Hyungwon grinned, opening the button of his jeans without pulling down the zipper, just confirming the lack of underwear, smooth golden skin visible. “Did you go kinky on your wife as well? You did have lube after all. Didn't you miss fucking men, doing anal and seeing how they enjoy it?”

“I did everything I wanted to do, believe me. It was a very fulfilling relationship. You know my confidence and probably think that it's overestimated. It's not. I have not even once seen one of my partners not enjoy something I'm doing, so I guess no, I didn't miss it.” He slid a finger down the lean chest and stomach before looking up. “But after meeting you back then, I have to admit that you made me crave for you. Not exactly particular sexual practices, just something that was inherently you.”

“Then let me add something to that,” Hyungwon whispered and climbed on top of him, placing his thighs on each side of Hoseok’s and curling the lean arms around his neck. “You always say that you don't care about me being pretty and that my attractiveness or tightness doesn't drive you insane.”

The plump lips moved closer to his neck, nibbling along his jugular and biting into the sensitive spot that fluently transitioned into his shoulder. The beautiful young man knew his body well enough to affect him with a few light touches. 

“But still you are affected and bask in it when it is yours, when you are inside of me and look at me. When you tie me up and see how you can drive me crazy. You love every fucking second, Hoseok.”

“I never said it wasn't true, naive boy. But that's most definitely not the reason we are where we are right now.” A small smile crept up his features and he kissed the golden skin of Hyungwon’s cheek.

“True, but you better watch out and spoil me.” A loud laugh left the pretty mouth. “You'll get older but I'll still be hot as fuck and everybody will try to steal me away.”

“But I have things you don't have, which others consider extremely attractive. So you better watch out too. I'm older already, but there you are so pretty and eager sucking on my neck although I'm sitting on my couch wearing sports wear.” Hoseok chuckled and grabbed the thin hips, pushing them down against his lap, low voice hissing into the small ear. “But you're indeed something else, Hyungwon.”

The beautiful young man gasped at the words, hands that were loosely resting on his shoulders, dug into the muscles suddenly, just like the slim thighs tightened around his. 

“Unfair,” Hyungwon murmured, chewing on his bottom lip while staring into his eyes, hips rolling on top of him sensually. “I just know that you can fuck me good. People don't see that from outside. I don't have to worry because you don't let anybody in, Hoseok. I know what a challenge it is because I got through. You're mine now.” As soon as the last words left the pretty lips the black-haired man pressed their lower bodies together, moaning into his face. 

_ You are. _

He enjoyed the close proximity and the way the hot breath hit his skin. He felt happy and safe. 

_ You need to keep it like this. _  
  


***

 

“Congratulations, Hyungwon.”

Ann’s sweet voice ripped him right out of his thoughts, still occupied with the newly found rationality he had developed over the weekend. After spending most of the Saturday with Hoseok, Hyungwon had returned home and drowned himself in consequential thoughts. In addition he had tried to understand how badly he wanted Hoseok to be divorced.

He still didn't have an answer apart from the fear of moving in with the older man and never knowing if it was actually something Hoseok had wanted or not. It could have been that without the external pressure to do so the other would have never offered to move in, keeping their relationship simple and date-based instead of intertwining their lives. Hyungwon wasn't even sure how much he wanted to intertwine their lives yet, too overwhelmed with the already present complexity to make everything even more of a mess than it already was. 

He wanted Hoseok, he really did. The problem was rather that he couldn't tell if a divorce and having the older man fully to himself was worth compromising his abilities to prove himself, to show what he was able to do and work his way up in the company just because he was good at it. Revealing their relationship would only result in him being seen as that one young pretty boy that fucked the boss instead. 

“Hyungwon?”

Again Ann’s voice pulled him back to reality, catching him embarrassingly spacing out at the reception desk. 

“Thank you, Ann! I'm rather surprised that you know.” Smiling brightly and genuinely amazed at the receptionist’s awareness of his birthday Hyungwon nodded quickly and made his way to the elevator. 

“It's all over the company, Hyungwon,” the impossibly friendly woman remarked with a grin, adding something playful that was rather unusual. “It would be more of a surprise if someone didn't know.”

_ Oh no, everyone will congratulate you.  _

Rolling his eyes at the comment, but such that the receptionist didn't see Hyungwon entered the arriving elevator and hoped that he wouldn't encounter too many people, thereby avoiding unnecessary congratulatory talks. He hated superfluous conversation and would have preferred to spend his birthday in the presence of his boyfriend.

Leaving the elevator quickly he almost ran to his office, hoping to avoid everyone and safely making it to his chair, falling down on it and sighing loudly. There were no sounds from Hoseok’s office but he ignored it for now.

As soon as he opened his eyes his attention fell on a huge cake, brown frosting all over it and culinary work rather detailed and thorough for a self baked one. The scent was mesmerizing, wish to take a bite immediate, but cake was nicer when shared with someone, so Hyungwon didn't, pushing it to the side and focusing on his to do list instead.

_ Just be productive. Maybe the solution to the problem will come by itself, solved by background brain power.  _

There had been no knocking, just a door ripping open and a crazy looking Kihyun walking inside his office, slamming the door shut behind himself. 

The older man wanted to say something, mouth opening before the eyes fell on the rather obvious cake on his table. 

“Ok, Hoseok went completely nuts I see, baking you cakes and making insane decisions. Where is he?”

“You mean he baked this?” Hyungwon couldn't help being preoccupied with the fact that Hoseok went as far as using his thirty five year old body to bake a damn cake for his birthday. It was a little ridiculous but also impossibly sweet, much nicer than any monetary present could have been. “I don't know where he is. I haven't seen him yet, shouldn't you know? You come here earlier than I do, Shorty.”

The other man sighed, pulling at the skin between his eyebrows, obviously nervous and worried. 

“Fuck, Barbie, why the fuck don't you know where he is? He obviously didn't think it was important to come here after making you partner, transferring shares and spreading that all over the company. The last info I got is his credit card info saying that he booked a fucking flight without any schedule. Oh fuck my life.” Kihyun threw his head back and sucked in a breath. 

_ Partner? Shares? A fucking flight without a schedule? _

The increase in his heartbeat was immediate, panic rising as his brain fought to keep up and to understand what the fuck was going on. Nothing made sense anymore and the way the usually perfectly composed finance manager panicked didn't help at all. Hyungwon's long fingers dug into his lean thighs to remain aware, pain only adding up to the sensations but not numbing them.

“What are you talking about, Kihyun? You don't make sense. Why would he fuck off? I know nothing about shares and he has at least three meetings today unless he pushed them all personally.” He inhaled harshly, attempting to calm his bodily adrenaline reaction but failing miserably, thoughts raining in without a break. “What did he spread all over the company?”

There was a silent knock and another person walked in, the one Hyungwon had seen when he had just started working at the company. It was the handsome lawyer Hoseok had been talking to in the first week. 

Coming closer the older man smiled brightly, putting a pile of documents on his table, nodding at Kihyun shortly. 

“Happy Birthday and also congratulations on becoming partner. I transferred the shares as Hoseok asked, so those are the final documents for your own files. I can't believe he fought so hard just to give them to a different person. They're like my babies now.” The black-haired man chuckled and squeezed Kihyun's shoulder. The two men were probably close.

Hyungwon had never believed that he would understand the really dumb characters in movies that interrupted an important conversation with the words ‘What the fuck is going on?’ but he felt damn close right at that moment. A lawyer was placing documents in front of him that had his name all over them and the finance manager was panicking because Hoseok had disappeared after starting a shitshow. 

“He- he made me partner?” Hyungwon asked instead, still not believing that Hoseok would do the one thing that he said he couldn't do because of the actual plan, namely moving in together and revealing their relationship. “Don't I have a say in this or something?”

_ It's the shares that he took back from Judith. He's giving you what belonged to her.  _

_ You're filling the empty space, just differently than expected.  _

“Well, Hoseok told me that he asked you and you agreed so I started it and already handed in the papers to the registry. You will get more papers to sign in the next few days. Congratulations again!” A smile appeared on the handsome face before Kihyun grabbed his shoulders, shaking them furiously.

_ You said that you'd love it, Hyungwon. He must have changed his mind because of what you said. He must have done it for you.  _

“Changkyun, what did he say? He must be mental, was he drunk? Fuck, he must've lost his fucking mind.” The words just spilled from the other man's mouth, desperation visible at how the fingers were shaking. 

“You're mistaken, he was absurdly fine, rational and composed, the usual Hoseok, presenting me all the filled out documents. He must've thought about this for a long time, it's fine.” The lawyer nodded at him and left, waving at Kihyun.

Hoseok had thought about this for exactly two days. Apparently that was enough to make major decisions and disappearing afterwards. 

_ He knew exactly what he was doing. It was planned. Just like the fact that he disappeared, unwilling to deal with the backlash.  _

“It wasn't anything certain when we had talked about it,” Hyungwon remarked and still couldn't believe that the older man would have just pulled through with something as drastic as making him shareholder of a huge ass company. Shit. “He can't be gone for long. He had to put the cake here somehow.”

_ Don't be ridiculous, Hyungwon. He could have asked someone else. _

“I can't believe this. Why is this all such a mess? His phone is dead. He's probably inside a plane to I don't know where right now. Fuck.” The older man clenched his hands into fists and walked towards the door before turning around and staring him right in the eyes.

“You must be special. I remember Judith waiting for three years to get two percent of the shares. Congratulations I guess.” The gaze moved away and the finance manager left, closing the door behind himself. 

_ Three fucking years. _

Hyungwon swallowed, a little overwhelmed by the situation and unable to comprehend why Hoseok would run away like that and let him deal with the consequences. Everybody was going to confront him about being partner although he didn't even know it was the case, naively believing people were congratulating him on his birthday. 

_ Why would anybody care about your damn birthday, Hyungwon? _

Staring at the coffee cake the numbers returned, the fact that he received the shares after a few months although Hoseok had let Judith wait three years for it.

_ That's because they were already given away once. Now you are taking what has been hers, occupying her place. It doesn't have to mean anything.  _

Chewing on his lower lip he stood up, walking to Kihyun's office with steady steps and stopping in front of the dark brown desk.

“What does this mean for me? What changes, Kihyun? I have no fucking idea because nobody told me anything and I'm a little furious to be honest.” Closing his eyes for a few seconds he clenched his fists and understood some of the frustration that the finance manager must have felt at Hoseok's sudden disappearance.

_ In addition he's not even there although it's your birthday. _

_ But you wanted this. He gave you exactly what you wanted.  _

The brown-haired man turned around, holding a phone to his ear and stretching out an index finger, thanking the person on the other end of the line before hanging up. 

“Tel Aviv. He probably landed half an hour ago,” the other breathed out, closing his eyes shortly. Turning around to him the gaze softened a little and the relatively high voice elaborated. 

“It's different things. Being a partner means creating products and being responsible for the creative process, presenting the company at congresses and basically acting as Hoseok number two. The second, which is actually the more important one and I'm not really sure you're aware, are the shares. What Changkyun did was give you the amount of shares Judith owned before they separated plus an additional five percent, it means you would own one quarter of the company, Hyungwon. He's mental.” The eyes closed again and the fingers started massaging the temples. 

_ He's absolutely nuts.  _

Hyungwon's eyes widened, air getting stuck in his lungs as he attempted to comprehend what Hoseok had done. Acquiring responsibility and developing products had been exactly what he had wished for, having the ability to do something he was good at and creating something touchable that had an effect in the real world. However none of those things entailed owning a quarter of Hoseok’s company. 

_ He must trust you, so fucking much to give you a quarter of the one thing he had worked years to build up. Holy shit. _

“Oh my god,” Hyungwon murmured, still not believing that it wasn't some crazy dream induced by over fermented beer that Namjoon had left in the fridge. “I can't believe he did this. We never talked about shares, just about project development, I- I don't even know what to say, Kihyun.”

_ He doesn't even know that you two are close. The situation must seem even more crazy for everyone else.  _

“The only reason that I don't think that it's your fault is because I know Hoseok. He has never been the type to throw everything overboard because of romantic feelings and whatnot. He must've gone insane, which makes me really worried.” Straight, white teeth sunk into the lower lip as Kihyun leaned back against his chair.

_ He knows.  _

“How do you know, Shorty?” Hyungwon couldn't help asking, amount of times he had jumped Hoseok in the office easily returning to his head and making him worry about how discrete they had been. “About the romantic feelings I mean.”

Dark brown eyes focused on his face and a small smile appeared on the interesting features.

“Judith told me. I almost killed Hoseok and he basically made me cry because he's a manipulative bastard whom I can't help loving despite everything. Which is why I need to know why he left, that's not really like him.” The smile vanished and worry returned in a instant. 

_ Judith. You'll have to see her.  _

“I guess we feel the same way about him,” Hyungwon whispered and remembered the fact that he was supposed to see the older woman for a detailed discussion of the concept and further pictures in an hour. It was the only definite item on his schedule. “Do you- do you think you would be able to find me tickets to Tel Aviv in four hours, Shorty?”

“Yes, just bring him back. This shit is not going to work without him.” Kihyun sighed and turned to his laptop, immediately typing something into the search engine. 

“Thank you for not hating me for loving your best friend, Kihyun. I really appreciate that.”

Hyungwon didn't waste any time, nodding quickly in goodbye and returning to his office to check the location of his meeting. It was Judith’s office. He hadn't met the older woman alone since the time they had spent together in London, work not creating the opportunities. Hyungwon had been rather happy about that, not sure how to confront his boyfriend's wife now that she knew about their relationship. The fact that now not only their relationship, but also him owning Judith’s shares stood between them, wasn't helping. 

_ She must know.  _

His phone vibrated and he opened WhatsApp, a message from Hoseok’s number appearing on the screen. It was a short video. It showed waves crashing onto beautiful white sand, on which someone had written ‘happy birthday’.

His chest clenched at the sight, memories of the congress returning, images of both of them kissing in the water and on the sand, Hoseok telling him that his eyes reminded him of the desert sky. All of the experiences had something magical to them, like they were a dream instead of something that actually happened. 

_ Maybe that's why he went. To feel it again, to find out if it's real. _

Hyungwon wanted to see him, to curl his arms around the familiar neck and melt into the older man's embrace. The yearning was almost suffocating him with how his chest convulsed at the thoughts. 

_ You will, but first you need to be responsible just as he would want you to. _

Taking another deep breath he prepared for his departure and his flight, leaving the message as read without replying for now. 

_  
  


Crossing the plaza to the marketing building Hyungwon contemplated the fact that he was holding a coffee cake, last minute decision coming to bite him in the ass. He didn't want to come empty handed and still wished to share the cake somehow. As ironic as it was Judith appeared to be the perfect person to do that with. 

_ Just don't freak out and be yourself.  _

Shifting the hand that held the cake Hyungwon entered the building, random people that he had never seen congratulating him. 

_ Everybody will know your face now.  _

He thanked everybody politely and walked a little faster, path to Judith’s office appearing so much longer suddenly.

Once he reached the wooden door he knocked immediately, not allowing himself the time to contemplate or someone else the possibility to congratulate him again. 

The low voice hummed behind the door and he entered the older woman's office. Judith was sitting behind her desk, but stood up immediately after spotting him and closed the distance, curling the slim arms around his neck. 

“Congratulations, that's awesome that you found motivation to come in on your birthday, I always stay at home, so people don't congratulate me. Happy birthday.”

_ She knows it's your birthday.  _

“Thank you for congratulating me. I think I can't really help coming to work at this point, wouldn't know what to do with myself.” Smiling Hyungwon curled his free arm around the slim waist, positively surprised by the nonchalant attitude and happy that the only person that didn't directly confront him was the one that had a legit reason to do so. Holding the cake to the side he let go of the older woman and placed it on her desk. “I brought cake to share.”

The blue eyes widened at the sight of the brought dessert.

“He's doing all kinds of things these days, isn't he?” Judith swallowed and lifted a cup, asking whether he'd want a coffee.

_ You idiot. She lived with him for six years. Of course she knows what his cakes look like. Even Kihyun knew.  _

“If it makes you uncomfortable we can just drink coffee,” Hyungwon replied, attempting to do a little bit of damage control and watching the beautiful woman's body language. “What did you want to talk about, Judith?”

“If I'm uncomfortable then the problem lies with me and not with the cake, which is basically the best I've ever eaten, so you should definitely try it.” A small smile played at the corners of the prettily curved mouth. “Actually it's funny, because I wanted to get your fresh opinion on a new campaign as I cherish it, but your job description changed over the weekend so now I need to report to you about it, isn't it hilarious? Maybe you can still tell me your opinion.” The older woman sat down on the couch across from him crossing her legs. She was wearing a dark blue blouse and black, very tight jeans accompanied by dark blue high heels. 

Judith had always been the incarnation of aesthetics and the change in their relationship didn't influence that. 

“You look gorgeous,” Hyungwon commented first, examining the way the heels were a tiny bit darker than the blouse, creating a gradient effect with the black jeans in between. Licking over his lips swiftly he sat down next to the older woman, crossing his legs and leaning back. The meaning of her words only reached him slowly. “I said that I would aid you in your campaign and even signed a contract concerning that. I don't intend on changing that until the successful launch.”

“It's about a new one, the one for your product. I had an idea and really liked how you developed it so I wanted to promote it more and even received a ‘go’ from Hoseok last week. You look gorgeous too, I love your suit colour. Looking at you is a pleasure.” She chuckled and slapped his thigh playfully. “Either way, I'm not planning on letting the thing with Hoseok interfere with my relationship with you because I really like you and intend on working with you more in-depth in the future. Of course I don't know how you think about that.”

Hyungwon swallowed, positively surprised at how mature Judith managed to act, not letting her personal emotions interfere in their relationship. He was able to do the same as he was the person who had Hoseok but he couldn’t be sure that he would’ve acted the this way if he was in her position.

“I'd love to, Judith. I like you too, you are very competent in what you do and I told you before that I love people that I can learn from.” Smiling Hyungwon placed his arm on the back of the couch, sitting down a little more comfortably and feeling how most of the pressure he had felt left him. “When it comes to working with you I'm all in. You mentioned that you wanted to take some pictures and show me something in that email of yours, but let's eat some cake first.” 

Hyungwon squeezed the older woman’s shoulder shortly to not force possibly undesired body contact on her and stood up, walking to a drawer in the corner. The offices were mirrored and he remembered Hoseok keeping random tools in his, including a knife. As expected he found one, using it to cut the cake into equal pieces. Taking two tissues out of his pocket he arranged two cake pieces on top of them and handed one to Judith, sitting down next to her.

“I fear we will have to do it in the savage way.”

The beautiful woman laughed, showing her straight teeth and eyes turning into small crescents.

“We should sit down on the carpet then.” Grinning she winked at him before concentrating on the cake in front of her.

Hyungwon chuckled and took a bite, adding ‘baking skills’ to Hoseok’s definable qualities. 

“Does he always bake cake on birthdays?” he asked, aware of the fact that he was sitting next to the one person that knew Hoseok best. 

“Hmm, that depends, he doesn't like to make special things routine so he pays attention to keep it a surprise, which is kind of cute, don't you think? But he did do it, also with Kihyun, he probably remembers too.” Judith turned to him, before sucking the bottom lip into her mouth and lifting her hand, stroking over his lips with her thumb. “You have frosting on your face,” she commented as her face lit up in a beautiful smile.

Hyungwon licked over his lips, feeling a mixture between embarrassed at his inability to eat and surprised at the fact that the situation wasn't awkward although it should have been. 

“Funnily enough I have never thought of Hoseok as ‘cute’,” he replied and allowed their thighs to touch, concluding that Judith was also an inherently touchy person and didn't mind. “Not even once. Embarrassing maybe, but never cute.”

The older woman turned her head and watched his face intently. 

“Is he very affectionate? I mean does he show a lot of affection openly? I just think he's cute because after some time one realizes how much affection he has, inside his mind, things he doesn't show openly but which are there nevertheless.” 

Hyungwon chuckled, remembering the waterfall of emotions that hit him each time he managed to tickle it out of the older man, intensity overwhelming and taking his ability to think. The difference to how the older man behaved when they had just met was obvious.

“It's there, it's just hard to see it sometimes, but that's the exciting part I guess. Bringing it to the surface and basking in it.” As soon as the words left his lips he bit down on the lower one, unsure if that was something he should have been talking to his boyfriend's wife about. 

_ Separate her from the title, Hyungwon. She's a respectable and interesting human and not just the person that Hoseok had been with before you.  _

“Do you know why we separated?” Judith asked, placing a big chunk of cake inside the pretty mouth. 

_ She even eats like you.  _

“You wanted children and he didn't as far as I know, so you gave him an ultimatum.” Taking a detailed look at the pretty features Hyungwon couldn't help the grin that followed, reaching out and removing some cake from the lipstick covered bottom lip. He loved to bring balance to the world like that even if it was absolutely irrelevant. It felt a tiny bit like a challenge and he hated losing. “And he chose loneliness.”

A nasty grin spread over the plump lips and the small face leaned closer, gaze switching from his eyes to his mouth.

_ Why? _

“Do you think that makes sense? Do you think I'm a person who would do something like that?” 

“I don't know, Judith,” Hyungwon replied calmly, easily returning the gaze of the equally dark blue eyes and allowing the older woman to reduce the distance between them. “I don't know you well enough to decide that, but I am perfectly willing to listen to your side of the story and decide based on that. I have a dislike for uninformed decision making.”

“Ah, I really like you, Hyungwon. It's a little unfortunate that you're my husband's boyfriend, I'd love to tell you more, but I can't because I know that you'll tell Hoseok and then he's more prepared. I don't want that.” A confident smile played on the pretty lips while she pinched his cheek once. “I guess I can be touchy with you because you're obviously not interested in me, it's so freeing.” 

_ Apparently you’re much more obvious than you think you are, Hyungwon. _

“You are beautiful though,” he remarked and couldn’t help the discomfort at realizing there must have been something that Judith was planning but wasn’t willing to share with him, something possibly detrimental. Also the way she used the word ‘husband’ stung a little. ”I hope you aren’t going to hurt him, Judith.”

“There's no way I would hurt him more than he hurt me, but either way there's exactly one thing I want from him but I haven't got it yet and he doesn't know what it is, let's see how long it takes. I'm very determined to get it. It's basic human etiquette.” The expression turned hard and made the petite woman look dangerous.

“If it’s basic human etiquette I hope you will get it, Judith. To be honest I would like you to be happy. You are a lovely person and deserve it as much as anybody.” Hyungwon sighed, standing up and putting distance between them again. “I won’t lie and pretend to be the personification of altruism, because I obviously want Hoseok for myself, but I do hope that you will get what you want as long as it isn’t him.”

He took his tissue and the one that rested on Judith’s lap and placed both of them in the bin. Once he returned he reached out with one arm to pull the petite woman off the couch, carefully taking her hand. Something about her form looked vulnerable despite the strength in character.

“Let’s go wherever you wanted me to go.”

“You wanted to braid my hair, let's do it soon.” Judith grinned and let him pull her up, falling against his chest slightly. Hyungwon really couldn’t tell if she did it on purpose or if she was just genuinely a lightweight, just allowing her to remain in place as he answered. 

_ Another thing the two of you have in common. _

“Ehm, sure.” He was a little surprised that the older woman remembered their conversation on that topic and genuinely wanted him to braid her hair. Something about it was again a little weird to him, probably the irony of their relationship and the age difference. “Just tell me for which occasion you need it and what impact you want to have and I’ll do it.”

“I will, and now let me get your professional opinion on this,” she commented and fixed her hair, putting more distance between them and moving towards the table where he spotted a printed out presentation of his own product. 

Hyungwon was mesmerized each time by Hoseok’s ability to fill a company to the brim with competence. Judith knew exactly what she was talking about, switching to a professional attitude instead of the playful smiles and grins and adjusting her body language similarly, appearing much taller with the way she held herself although she wasn’t. Even if Hyungwon hadn’t been a psychologist it would have been fascinating to watch, giving comments and enjoying the discussions. Working with the older woman was something he would have liked to keep up, independent of his sudden change in job description.

_ You still haven’t really realized what that means for you. _

“I hope the input will help you. I really like your ideas, they are much less outdated and definitely easier to identify with. You said you wanted to be there when they take a few pictures today, may I ask why?” Hyungwon asked, crossing his legs as soon as Judith finished taking notes on his comments, chewing on her cheek just as he liked doing.

“First of all, thank you for the positive feedback. Second, the way a person is able to impress differs depending on the medium one is using. Sometimes a picture will say much more than a movement and the other way around. I needed to see whether the objective I had for this session is fulfilled, as I only had the image in my head. I need to be updated to be able to react flexibly if something requires change. Just like now, you being a partner and everything. It suits you, I support Hoseok’s decision there.” The smile was genuine, without the playfulness and flirt, just a simple, very beautiful smile.

Hyungwon couldn’t help but mirror it, genuinely euphoric about the fact that an impossibly competent woman that had enjoyed his position before agreed with the decision to give it to him.

“Thank you, I mean it- thank you for saying that. I feel like I finally know what to do with myself and all that time I invested into an education.” He chuckled, realizing that he had opened up a little without intending to do that. “I was worried about that before.”

Taking a glance outside he frowned, watching how the weather resembled the apocalypse, thick raindrops hitting the window and the concrete between the two main buildings.

“We should take an umbrella unless you’re going for a wet look with this.”

“You remind me a lot of myself to be honest, I like it. And yes, I'd look like a soaked mouse with curly hair if I went out without it, not quite the impression I intend on leaving.” Judith laughed and pulled the black coat over the slim shoulders, grabbing a big black umbrella and handing it to him. “I'll just hold onto you.”

Hyungwon smiled, amused by the fact that the older woman had realized their similarities as much as he had. Putting on his own coat he accepted the umbrella and left the office, immediately encountering another wave of congratulations. It was a little awkward but luckily people weren't going to congratulate him forever. The problem was that he didn’t even know most of them.

_ You might have to change that, learn faces and names by heart to leave a good impression and show appreciation for everyone. _

“I still can’t believe that he made me partner just like that. I’ll have to spend an evening or two researching what that means for me and how to leave the best impression now that everybody suddenly cares.”

Judith did as announced, holding onto his arm as they walked through the pouring rain, making their way to the photo studio in which Hyungwon had already been once. The day he had colored his hair black and jumped Hoseok right after, asking the older man to fuck him on his work desk. He couldn’t help the chuckle at his everything but subtle behaviour.

_ Now you’ll have to be even more careful with everybody knowing your face and your job. _

“Don't think too much, Hyungwon. You'll grow with the position, I guess that's what Hoseok wanted.” Judith suddenly stopped, staring at a huge puddle in front of them, before looking down to her heels. “I think if I step inside I might also just swim over.”

Hyungwon smiled, a little sulky about the fact that the older woman commented on it herself before he was able to offer his help independently, but he didn’t show it. He placed the umbrella into the small hand and leaned down, thereby correcting for the height difference as he curled one arm below Judith’s thighs and kept the other around her waist, lifting her easily.

_ She is indeed a lightweight. _

“Is this fine with you?” he asked although it was already too late to ask for consent. “I assumed you wouldn’t mind considering your usual attitude towards bodily contact.”

“Now that I got carried around by both company owners I've achieved everything I wanted in life.” A grin spread over the beautiful face and the thin arm held onto his shoulder while the other lifted to hold the umbrella over their heads.

“You’re going places, Judith,” Hyungwon replied with a laugh and stepped over the narrow path, basically flooded with water and mud. “But then again, as I like to cite from my basketball times ‘Don’t mistake activity for achievement’. I still feel weird being called company owner. People will talk, won’t they? I think you and Hoseok might be the only ones that actually take me seriously.”

“You're right, but watch me strangle them with my two small hands,” Judith hissed like a dangerous snake. “The thing is, Hoseok is smart, it's very fortunate. He put the success and the earned money from the contract in London right into the email about you becoming partner and co-owner, so it looks very legit. You did bring the company a lot of revenue. Especially since they collaborate a lot, so Jane told me they were going to use your HR Development product overseas too. Jane is the CEO by the way, she's gorgeous.” The facial expression relaxed and the beautiful woman patted his shoulder lightly.

“I’ve seen her, but to be honest she’s got nothing on you.” Hyungwon tried to remember the features, but none of them had been remarkable enough to stay in mind, definitely not comparable to the pretty face of the woman in his arms. “I’m happy to hear that I have been financially useful.” He laughed.

“Oh thank you, darling,” the low sensual voice replied, obviously delighted at the compliment. “Jane is more into Hoseok, she's been running after him since that congress in Israel three years ago, hilarious. By the way, do you see how my employees look through that window there,” Judith commented and pointed at a spot in the building. “I guess there will be really funny rumours.”

_ Oh fuck. _

Hyungwon’s heartbeat picked up at the thought, realizing that people loved talking and having rumors involving himself and Hoseok’s wife might of course be hilarious considering he was dating the husband, but it didn’t help his standing in the company in any way. Glancing back he realized that he had walked past the puddle a long time ago and basically crossed a perfectly walkable plaza with an attractive woman in his arms. Genius.

Loosening his strength slightly he held onto the slim waist as he let the blue heels touch the ground, only reminding him of how short the older woman was without them.

“Lovely,” he commented and chewed on his cheek, wondering about what consequences that would have and what the smartest action would be, taking the umbrella to hold it over their heads instead of Judith.

_ But if they think you date her they definitely won’t think he made you partner because he fucks you. And since it’s Hoseok’s wife you would have to be really competent to become partner despite that. _

The gorgeous woman lifted on her toes and used his shoulders to reach his ear, hot breath hitting the shell. 

“I think the publicity might be better though.” Leaning back the plump lips spread in a grin and Judith curled her fingers around his upper arm.

“My thoughts exactly,” he murmured, chewing on his bottom lip and trying to think ahead far enough to identify problems he might have been creating without realizing it. “But that is not completely up to me because it involves you. I can’t just decide to make them believe I date you without your consent, Judith.”

_ You don’t even know what Hoseok considers okay when it comes to bodily contact because you never actually talked about it. But the idea is genius. _

“The best thing about humans is that you don't even have to make them believe. They'll believe it themselves, just watch and do what you normally do, it's terrific.“ Another smile and the blue eyes followed, turning into crescents and fingers squeezing his arm. “Just make sure to do a good job or Hoseok will kill you. It's not a joke, he doesn't care about affection when it comes to work.” 

“I know,” Hyungwon glanced at the blue eyes, thinking about those words and how Hoseok had pointed the fact out to him repeatedly. “It was one of the first things he kept telling me whenever he gave a chance to do something important. I’m basically thinking about how to do a good job since I lifted you over there.” He smirked and brushed a hand through his hair, bangs a little wet despite the umbrella. “Too bad that humans don’t need any effort to believe things. I was always curious what kissing a woman is like even if I never bothered.”

“Probably like kissing your own arm? Want to try?” The older woman smirked. There was something intimidating to it, an effect that Hoseok and her appeared to have in common. Just that Hyungwon was rather good at not being affected by it.

Licking over his lips he stared at the older woman, returning the same intensity she was pouring into the gaze.

“That depends on two things. Firstly, on how jealous Hoseok is, because I sure as fuck don’t want him to be furious on my birthday instead of spoiling me with cake and other things as he should be. Secondly, your own opinion, takes two people to kiss.”

“He won't care.” Judith stopped, turning to him and lifting on her toes again, a playful smile dancing at the corners of the plump mouth and kissed him. It lasted for about three seconds before she let go, grinning. “See, probably like kissing your mom.”

“Let’s say my sister,” Hyungwon remarked with a grin, but couldn't help a tiny spark of anger. It felt like he hadn’t made the decision at all, but rather that the older woman controlled the situation, acting out on her own. Curling an arm around the blue fabric of the blouse he pulled the short woman closer and kissed her properly, same feeling of bland familiarity remaining, but at least he had acted on his own. “Let’s get those pictures done or I’m never gonna manage to board that plane to Israel.”

Judith started laughing, mouth open and teeth showing. 

“I don't know what's more hilarious, that we made out in front of my employees, that you're actually dating my husband or that you'd kiss your sister like that. Either way, you better do a good job because I'm like Hoseok.” The short woman slapped his arm lightly and followed.

_ Now they happen to be your employees too. _

“You’ll see how I treat my sister once I braid your hair,” he replied with a chuckle and crossed the last bit to the building. “Whatever you’re expecting of me, I’ll make sure to do it better, Judith.”

The short woman smiled brightly and opened the door, turning around shortly, intense gaze settling on his features.  
  
“Deal.”    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 25th of May at 2 AM CET.
> 
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	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're such a manipulative bastard, fuck."

Standing on the beach, feet dipping into the cool water, Paris had seemed so far away.

The talk with Changkyun on Sunday, preparing all the documents, the signing, the countless decisions he had made, putting one after the other into action, phone calls, explanations, people asking whether he was sure. He was. He never made decisions without being absolutely sure.

He had given the beautiful young man one quarter of his company shares, just like that, over the weekend. Making him partner and robbing himself of the possibility to act according to the plan he had previously thought of.

_It's exhausting._

He was exhausted, thinking about all his personal relationships, about himself, about Judith, Hyungwon, Kihyun, the company. It was draining and made his head hurt, resulting in baking a fucking cake for Hyungwon’s birthday and jumping onto the first plane to somewhere he had good memories from. Tel Aviv.

It had been nice being alone on the beach, way too early for anybody else and beautiful sand covered by water stimulating his senses. He had written down ‘Happy Birthday’ in the sand and took a quick video for Hyungwon, not knowing why in the first place.

_Isn't it nice to not think about consequences all the time?_

Going back to his hotel he fell asleep, body and mind absolutely drained of energy to think and move, blackness covering his eyes and limbs feeling heavy like lead.

It was evening already when he opened his eyes. A glance at his phone, revealed 9PM and 99 missed calls.

_Perfect._

He didn't look at the caller ID, enjoying the freedom of not being forced to think about anything. Pulling the black linen pants over his butt he decided to go to the beach bar where he and Hyungwon had enjoyed the yellow mojitos together.

The streets were all the same, just that it had gotten even warmer, couples strolling along the beach promenade, laughing and smoking, sharing time, body contact and stories. It was nice to look at, life basically boiling around him but without involving him.

Hoseok sat down, ordering a mojito and slipping out of his open shoes, leaning back and burying his toes in the warm sand.

He had to change somehow. The way he perceived and the way he behaved harboured something genuinely destructive, forcing him into situations and leading him to decisions he didn't want to make.

_You have to tell her. You need to take responsibility for your decisions._

There was movement on his side as a slim figure sat down next to him, asking the beekeeper for a yellow mojito in English, movements elegant and voice a familiar low timbre.  
  
He looked to the side, not even trying to make out the person as his body had already known that it was Hyungwon.   
  
“You thought it was a good day to celebrate your birthday with a yellow mojito on the beach in Tel Aviv?” He grinned and lifted his glass, taking a long sip.

Hyungwon's face was euphoric, smile impossibly bright just like the blue eyes that stared back at him, reflecting the minimal light and leaving a similar impression just like two months ago.

“I thought it was a good idea to celebrate my birthday with you.” The brightness faded a little bit, lower lip disappearing inside the pretty mouth. “Why did you do that, Hoseok? Making me partner? Giving me shares? Disappearing right after?”   
  
_Ah, he also wants to know everything._   
  
“I thought I’d celebrate it by the sea even if you weren't here, but now you are here too. How fortunate.” He smiled and clinked his glass with Hyungwon’s freshly brought mojito. “To come back to your question, I did it because it had been obviously something you wanted, something I was able to give you. Being a proactive human, instead of wanting things and behaviours from you, instead of creating a replacement for proper human communication and taking responsibility for my own actions and decisions. Something like that.”

There was an extended pause as blue eyes watched him, emotions clear as day on the attractive facial features.

“Thank you, Hoseok,” the beautiful man whispered, sliding a little closer and curling an arm around his neck, warm thighs touching. “I don't know what this means for me yet, but I'm sure it'll hit me in due time. I'll do my best to fulfil your expectations and more.”  
  
“I’m sure you can. It was one of the main reasons for doing it. I have a presentation at home consisting of objective reasons for you to become partner.” He chuckled and took another sip. “How was your day? It must’ve been a lot, people congratulating and not understanding what that was about? It will make you more resilient to change.”

“Ehm,” the younger man began and basically climbed on top of his lap, resting his legs at the side as if the position made communication easier. “I kinda found a way to increase my professional credibility from zero to hundred.”  
  
Hoseok curled both arms around the thin waist, basking in the way the other man’s body had felt against his thighs and leaned closer.   
  
“Which was?”

“I-” Hyungwon chuckled as if he himself couldn't believe the next words he was about to utter. “I kinda kissed your wife in front of a bunch of employees. It was a mutual agreement of course.”  
  
_He did what?_   
  
“You kissed Judith? Why?” he asked, eyes widening and every possible explanation in his head sounding dumb, or crazy, or both.

The younger man lifted his hands to aid his elaboration, switching to professional mode for some reason as if there was a proper argument that needed him to be all rational and composed.

“Listen to this, it was completely random because I was carrying her over a puddle and people were staring and then I realized it's genius.” The excitement was obvious, hands moving quickly. “If your employees believe that I'm dating her, they will never assume that you hired me because of personal affection or something like that. Furthermore they would never suspect any sexual relationship between us because I'm ‘hers’ already. You understand? It's perfect.”  
  
His thoughts moved fast without a break, simulation after simulation going through different areas of his brain, Judith’s possible behavioral patterns integrating into the story and creating a picture he could basically see in front of his inner eye.   
  
“You made out in front of employees so they think you’re dating? Such that it looks like you must be very competent for me to make you partner although you’re supposedly fucking my wife?” he asked, tilting his head to the right and observing the other man’s reactions.

“Ehm.” Hyungwon appeared a little surprised by the formulation. “We didn't really make out, that's a little intense. We kissed I guess. Under an umbrella. Okay this sounds weird, forget I said anything.” The younger man groaned and buried his head in Hoseok’s shoulder, covering a patch of pale skin with his lips. “But basically you're right. Because you would never make me partner unless I am really good in that situation. Judith and me had the idea simultaneously.”  
  
“Fucking geniuses,” Hoseok answered, sarcasm flooding out of his mouth with the words. “But why would Judith want that? What the fuck does she even want? Fuck my life.” He threw his head back and closed his eyes at the increasing complexity.

“Because children is not what she wants from you, I just don't know what exactly it is. She didn't want to tell me.” Something changed in the pretty face as Hyungwon curled his arms further around his neck and pressed him closer. “Can't you relax while you are here? Isn't this why you flew all this way?”   
  
_You flew away to escape all this. And to see the desert, but then it came to you._   
  
“I’ll just ask her,” Hoseok murmured, emptying his drink and placing the glass on the table, trying to get rid of all the thoughts that immediately flooded his brain.

It was like the younger man could tell, sinking his long fingers into the muscles of his neck while he placed kisses all over his face.

“I’m glad that I came to you,” he whispered, shifting a leg such that he was sitting right in front of Hoseok with legs on each side of the muscular thighs. “I loved your cake although I cringed at the vision of a middle aged man baking me a cake.” Chuckling against his skin Hyungwon pressed his face closer, brushing their lips against each other. “I love you, you sappy but dominant shit.”  
  
_Well that was the last cake then._   
  
He forced himself to smile and gestured that he wanted to stand up, brushing the  grains of sand from his black linen pants and slipping into his shoes.   
  
“I guess you didn’t book anything right?”

Hyungwon stared at him for an extended period of time, just studying his features as the plump lips turned into a thin line.

“What did I say?” he asked suddenly, staying close but not really touching. “I know that face of yours. What did I say that upset you, Hoseok? Because I teased you?”  
  
_Because you don’t seem to have resources to fight the dominance war right now._   
  
“It’s because I’m tired. I feel like lying down and sleeping for a week.” He brushed a hand through the black bangs, throwing a bill on the table and walking towards the beach.

“Then let's do that. Let's just not think about anything,” the black-haired man murmured and grabbed his wrist, pulling him to the beach with a small smile gracing his plump lips. “I'll just curl up all over your body and won't wake up even if you want me to.”  
  
He wanted to reply with something but his phone started ringing in a familiar pattern. Pulling it out of his pants he took the call, listening to Kihyun’s uncharacteristically low voice.   
  
“Did you land safely? Did Hyungwon find you?” The other man sounded worried, no accusations or insults coming from the other end of the line.   
  
“I did. Yes, he found me. Everything fine over there?” he asked, closing his eyes shortly and hoping Kihyun wouldn’t tell him the details.   
  
“You’re not okay, are you? How long do you want to stay? A week? Two? Just tell me I’ll organize everything.” His best friend knew exactly one time when Hoseok had done something like this. It had been back when his grandmother had died all of the sudden, the closest person to him.   
  
“It’s fine, I think three days will be enough, I’ll send Hyungwon back tomorrow so at least he’s there. I’m just exhausted.” He opened his eyes again and looked at the night sky, white stars shining on the absolute black, transcending into the black water of the sea. It was beautiful.   
  
“Take your time. It’ll be fine,” the familiar voice whispered and hung up. He had listened to the short signals a little longer, creating a pattern inside his head fitting with the waves that had crashed onto the white sand under his feet.

Warm arms curled around his waist from the back, Hyungwon's slim body attaching to his and hot breath hitting his neck, only adding to the impressions. The younger man didn't say a word, just remaining in the calm embrace. The waves began melting into the rhythm of the warm air that tickled his skin, creating a fitting whole, as if everything was meant to be exactly the way it was.   
  
_You’re making his life a complicated mess too, it’s not only about you. Stop pitying yourself, Hoseok. Only assholes do that._   
  
“Do you feel burdened by all this? Do you want to stop?” Hoseok turned his head and whispered against the warm skin.

“Stop what?” the low voice asked, sound breathy. “Being with you? It makes me happy, Hoseok. Why are you suddenly so insecure about this? Where did your confidence go? We both wanted this despite everything and I'm sure we still do.”  
  
“It’s just that I see a lot of your worried expressions lately so I assume that you’re thinking more and are happy less, isn’t it always like that?” he asked, looking up to the sky again.

“That's bullshit, Hoseok. You gave me the one thing I really wanted, the possibility to do what I'm good at and develop myself. How exactly does that make me more unhappy?” The long fingers tightened on his waist as the younger man turned him around so that they faced each other, dark blue eyes meeting his. The depth was equal to the sea surrounding them, loud waves only supporting the impression. “Of course there is a lot of responsibility that comes with it but I'll deal with that in due time. It's the best birthday present I have ever received.”  
  
“There is something that doesn’t give me peace. The fact that I want to do something for you but end up taking possibilities and freedom instead. I don’t know whether it’s what I intended and the fact that I didn’t know that it could’ve happened and didn’t simulate it beforehand scares me.” He stared at the dark blue eyes which looked almost black, not because of the dilated pupil but because of the lack of light, only the golden skin of one cheek shimmering in the very limited lighting of the streetlamp at the promenade.

“But you can't predict everything, Hoseok. That's what makes us so resilient as a kind, we can adapt to changes and this was the first thing you asked me in the interview, how I feel about change. My answer would still be the same, I welcome them just like I welcome the decisions you made.” Hyungwon stroked over his cheek, warm fingers moving a few stray strands behind his ear and thumb caressing the pale skin. “You can't make every decision perfect, it's always like this, but you put so much thought into it already. You care and that's what counts for me.“  
  
_No, it’s not. Things break because of decisions and you can’t put it back together._   
  
“You don’t understand. A decision can break everything, Hyungwon. Not immediately, but like cancer, spreading and eating the relationship from the inside until there’s nothing left. I did so many things already and I’m fucking scared that something I’ve done will break it. I don’t want it to break. I don’t want to think the same things again and lose a person because of something I’ve done or said- fuck.” He didn’t understand it, none of it, but the tears came out of nowhere, just like the fear, just like the shiver that had passed his spine and crawled to the inside of his lungs, making them clench. He threw his head back to not be forced to look into the dark blue eyes while the tears rolled down his cheeks.

He wasn’t really pitying himself, it was realization. Realization that he had fucked up. Fucked up in his decisions before and that he would be able to do the same thing again unless he changed.

The beautiful man didn't say anything, embracing him quietly, one arm around his waist and the other pressing his head to his slim shoulder. The long fingers were stroking over his hair, pressing down pleasantly along his scalp and holding him as close as possible in the intimate embrace.

“I love you, Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered into his hair, voice more strained than it had ever been. “It'll be okay, you won't do the same thing. You've already improved so much, discussing with me instead of keeping it to yourself, putting so much effort into making everything perfect and considering everyone's opinion, even giving me what I desired. Even now.”  
  
_This is what Kihyun was talking about. The breakdown._   
  
Hoseok breathed against the shirt-clad shoulder, trying to calm himself down, suppressing the wish to just run away somewhere, where nobody could talk to him, where he was alone. But it was also a decision that could’ve changed something, so he didn’t.   
  
“I really want to run away right now,” he whispered, deciding to just say whatever he thought, resources fading with each passing second and tears flowing down his cheeks as if it was a fucking crying fest.

He hadn't cried in years.

The warm hands continued to stroke over his hair, the one around his waist tightening and stabilising him. Warm breaths tickled his temple as Hyungwon curled his fingers around his jaw and lifted his face a little, leaving a kiss on his lips before pressing him back to his slim shoulder.

“Would you come back if I waited long enough?”  
  
“This is not a ‘good’ running away. It’s the ‘I don’t want anyone to see what I think and feel’ kind of running away. So I won’t.” Hoseok curled both arms around the thin waist, pressing the warm body closer, trying to melt into the heat.

“Then I'll hold you until you don't want to run anymore,” the low voice whispered into his ear before warm lips pressed to the top of his head, touch tender just like the caresses of the long fingers in his hair.  
  
Something short-circuited inside his brain and he leaned down, grabbing the lean thighs and lifting the slim body in the air, walking towards the sea. Feeling how his linen pants got soaked he continued stepping further into the warm water, until the waves hit his chest.

The beautiful body curled around him as a whole, legs crossing behind his back and fingers intertwining with his hair, plump lips only millimetres apart from his, hissing as the water brushed their bodies.

“You still drive me crazy, Hoseok, just like back then,” the beautiful man whispered against his mouth, harsh breaths blurring with the waves that were adding to the sounds around them.

_It's the same for you too, but now you can say it._

“It had been the same for me, I basically breathed you when we were here. I wanted to throw myself at you so badly. You have no idea how I thought of just staying in the water forever because it meant that we could've been together like this. Without further thoughts.” He had the feeling of wanting to say all these things, to share everything he had never said, keeping it for himself and monitoring, making decisions and filtering everything unnecessary out.

“Now you can, Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered, emotionality seeping into the beautiful features, eyes wide and lips parted, trembling of the lower one visible just like that. “Now you can throw yourself at me and be with me, independent of the water that drowns the surroundings. I was so fucking scared of this ending, realizing only late that I was in love with you. It started right after you pushed me into the water I think, the familiar warmth in my chest at the sight of your face.”

He stared at the beautiful face for a moment then leant in and searched for the plump mouth with his lips, finding it and kissing it repeatedly. He murmured quietly against the softness “I love you, Hyungwon. I really do and I'm sorry, I will try harder to share more. I just want you so badly.” His eyes closed as his tongue licked into the sweet mouth, sensations of water, sounds of the waves and the hot lips intermingling into a beautiful wrecking ball.

“I'll do the same, Hoseok. I'll open up about concerns and my opinion on things. I tend to be worried that it might not seem sophisticated enough, just a pathetic attempt at returning something of value to you.” Hyungwon kissed back, pressing their lips together after every two words, as if he didn't want to part independent of the meaning he wanted to bring across. “I’m sorry for being childish and possessive and not considering how difficult this is for you.”

“You know after Judith left, I sat on the floor and waited for her to come back. It must've been five or six days. Kihyun came and forced me to eat in the annoying way he likes to teach people, telling me that I need to think about things that made me happy, things I want to experience again. I remember telling him that I really wanted to see the desert sky at night, all the stars shining down on me in the middle of absolutely nothing.” He felt how his fingers tightened around the slim thighs at the words and the vivid memory accompanying them. “It does seem as if you're my desert sky after all.”

The beautiful sea blue eyes widened, allowing more moonlight to light them up, sight mesmerizing as the long fingers dug into his shoulders, teeth settling on the lower lip. But it wasn't nervousness, instead the eyes appeared watery, expressions impossibly emotional, breath hitching in the lean chest.

“Thank you for allowing me to be that for you, Hoseok,” the younger man whispered, trembling only increasing with how the blue eyes visibly struggled with tears, lips attaching to his to bridge the gap and drown in perceptions instead. “I don't want you to feel like that ever again. I'll do my best, I swear, as long as you let me.”

“I remember how the world felt absolutely indifferent to me besides when you were around. Thinking back, I'm so thankful. Thank you, really.” He breathed between the kisses and pressed the slim body closer, soaked fabric sticking to his skin.

“I’m happiest when I'm with you. Always.” The black-haired man rested his head on his shoulder, embracing him calmly as the waves drowned them in sounds. “I can never be indifferent to you, I never could.”

“I think neither can I. How am I supposed to look away if the desert sky is looking back at me?”

The night was warm and so was the water, the body pressing against his soaked shirt was warm too, his thoughts felt warm and so did his chest, not constricting under pressure anymore, just inhaling and exhaling air, like the waves came and went back into the sea.

_

  
The tears faded and so did his desperation. The only thing that still lingered inside him was the wish to show Hyungwon everything. To answer all his questions, to be honest, to show himself and the way he thought as a person.   
  
_He needs to know what he’s dealing with, Hoseok._   
  
Arriving in the hotel room he filled two tumblers with the expensive whisky he had ordered from room service and handed one of them to the breathtakingly beautiful man who was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“So drinking in a hotel room while watching the city of Tel Aviv it is?” Hyungwon asked with a light smile, crossing his legs as he liked doing and taking a tentative sip of the expensive drink. “It still feels so strange to me, this change in lifestyle and everything that I was used to. Of course I expected something to change, I had this idea of a completed chapter of my life after finishing university, but all of this was just so unexpected. Even more so than I predicted adult life to be.” Suddenly the younger man laughed, covering his mouth as he did so, before returning the palm to his own thigh. “I must sound so naive to you, saying that.”  
  
“You don’t. You think different thoughts, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re naive or wrong or not worth thinking.” Hoseok sat down across the handsome man, making himself comfortable on the red leather chair. “Don’t cover your mouth, I love the way you laugh.”

Hyungwon looked sceptical, pointing at his own lips with a long index finger.

“It's huge when I laugh, makes me look weird.”  
  
“Ah, shut up. You’re beautiful, it makes you look more natural and less like a stuck up vogue model.” Hoseok grinned and brushed his hair back with the free hand, settling his legs on the broad seating space. “I really think we should talk. I’m going to be absolutely honest with you, so just ask me things you want to know, if  you have questions, of course.”

The infamous cheek chewing returned as the handsome man appeared in thought, taking another sip of his drink and pulling his long legs on top of the bed, arranging them below himself. He looked cute.

“Don't make fun of me for asking, because I'm genuinely curious,” he began and threw Hoseok an intense gaze, probably meant to be a warning. “What do you love about me, and when did you start? I doubt that the moment when you told me in front of your wife was the point of realization. You're not someone like that.”  
  
He glanced up to the ceiling, recalling all his thoughts concerning Hyungwon, from the first time he had registered the interesting lip bite to the intense eyes, to the time they had sat in the hot tub, long legs brushing his and the way the other man had looked at him in the hotel room in Tel Aviv, so similar to the room they were in now, talking about all those topics.   
  
“I would characterize myself as a rather complex person, not in terms of intelligence or depicting it as something valuable, just in general. It is rather hard to wake my interest in anything as I have a certain view of the world, very similar to what I told you about indifference. I think that things usually don’t matter. You came into my life and started shaking my beliefs, making me feel in a certain way and showing me that things do make a difference. The way you reacted to me, how you were so confident, so stubborn to remain in control but still throwing it all overboard as if you could get it back easily. It was mesmerizing. The mixture- I’m still amazed by it.”

Hoseok took a sip of the delicious drink, letting the warmth spread all over his body and painting the surroundings in warm colours.

“I think it started with me looking into your eyes and seeing the desert all of the sudden. Doesn’t it sound romantic? But it wasn’t at all, it was like a sudden realization, absolutely rational and dispassionate. ‘He makes you feel as if the desert sky is looking back at you’ something like that. I wanted to be with you, I developed psychosomatics which was hilarious considering the fact that I’m a rather analytical person, overthinking everything and being painfully aware of various things that happen around me, but I had missed this one tiny fact, magically.” He chuckled, eyes sliding over the familiar features, warmth filling his insides once again, but independent of the alcohol.

“This-” Hyungwon began but closed his lips again, playing with the ripped fabric of his light blue jeans and glancing outside the window. A small smile was pulling at the corners of his mouth, like the younger man wanted to smile but didn't really let himself. “This makes me ridiculously happy, Hoseok.”  
  
He mirrored the smile, genuine affection probably showing on his features as he hadn’t tried to hide it since the younger man had arrived in Tel Aviv, keeping him company at the beach and also in the familiar hotel room.   
  
“I am happy because this makes you happy. You know, I want to be honest with you, I really, really want this. It is so exhausting to always think ahead, to simulate reactions and filter out seemingly unnecessary things. I want you to really know me. To know what you’re pushing yourself into.”

“I think I know.” Hyungwon finally turned back to him, blue eyes as much of a surprise on the pretty face as they were on the first day. “If you find it exhausting to lie or hide the truth, why didn't you tell Judith about getting a vasectomy? You could have told her how important it was for you, possibly even before getting it, showing how much it means to you with the intention alone.”  
  
_Why didn’t you tell her?_   
  
“It’s easy actually. Well, not exactly easy to realize, but in the end the reason is disgustingly simple. It’s because I was selfish and didn’t want to have a discussion about it, being scared that it might’ve changed the relationship, although the fact that I didn’t tell her had already done the job,” he breathed out, massaging his temple from the strain of not having practice in admitting mistakes on a personal level.

“This is rather scary to tell you the truth. I think I finally understand what you meant on the beach.” Hyungwon shifted on the bed, allowing one leg to rest on the floor while he curled his arms around the other. He emptied the tumbler and placed it next to himself before continuing. “It’s scary to see that the reluctance to say something can have such a toxic effect. It's as if all of your interactions with her are based on a war, a war of who hurts the other person more. All of your communication is so dysfunctional and dishonesty might be the source of it. It's terrifying. But the wish to change something is the first step, isn't it?”  
  
_You will need to eliminate every single misunderstanding and lie to be able to start anew. Including this particular one._   
  
“I will tell her. As soon as I go back. I have the feeling that this is something I need to do to become a better person, to be able to behave differently towards you and to reflect and be able to take responsibility for my actions and decisions. I feel the need to do this, but as I promised to be honest, it also means that Judith might not give me her consent for the divorce, which will automatically affect you, if you’re still on board after all this buzz.” Hoseok stood up and moved towards the beautiful man, sitting down next to him and turning his head such that he was able to focus on the dark-blue eyes.

“Do it.” The gaze was determined, lips pressed together until Hyungwon uttered his next words, one large hand resting on the muscular thigh. “I won't pretend that I'm all that and don't feel possessive, I do, but I feel like this whole thing pressures you and if it means you can finally relax without drowning in your past choices and decisions, it's what I want you to do.”  
  
“Thank you.” He leaned in, placing a small kiss on the beautiful, red lips. “And now it’s my turn, am I right? So what made you think dating your boss was a good thing to do after finishing university?” Hoseok grinned and leaned back a little to observe the reaction.

The big blue eyes widened before Hyungwon returned to his confident smile, leaning back on his arms too. The slim body was positioned openly and only added to the convincing appearance.

“Who said that I'm done asking questions?” The younger man licked over his lips, grinning. “How did you, Kihyun and your lawyer become friends? In addition to Judith of course. Why do all your friends have such high end jobs anyway?”  
  
“It’s easy. I’ve known Kihyun since he was a toddler running around the christmas tree, playing drums. Changkyun had helped me while I was in uni, he had studied law while I studied psychology and downloaded movies illegally, so we kind of bonded. The reason for them working for my company? Simple. I need to trust people if I give them responsibility. The way our lives intertwine personally makes the trust easier because it’s not that simple to fuck off. Same goes for you.” Grinning, he leaned back too, confidence pouring out of every pore.

“Marvellous. Now tell me why you consider it okay to date me although most people will think that you are a pervert considering our age difference. You don't care about a lot of things, but you also pay attention to your clothes and the effect you have on people. Doesn't your relationship to me taint that image as soon as somebody finds out?” Hyungwon was playing, visibly shifting the position of his body such that Hoseok was forced to glance at how the beautiful body lay on the bed, skin golden and smooth as the plump lips gained colour from the way the younger man bit them.   
  
“First, you love to tease me with the aesthetics of your body, but I’ll act as if I don’t see it. Second, I will give you a glimpse of what kind of person I am. After realizing I was in love with you, I tried to think about possible ways of making everything work on multiple bases, the thing with Judith and the divorce was one of them, the fact that I’m dating a hot twenty-three-year-old who worked as my assistant before, the other. I reflected and decided that you had potential and tested it while giving you more complex tasks, watching your problem solving abilities and deciding to give you more responsibility.”

Drinking the rest of his whisky, Hoseok put the glass on the bedside table and turned back to the mesmerizing face.  
  
“I didn’t say it in the company because I know that people are superficial idiots, so I needed to present them a reason why this is legit. The fact that you’re partner now doesn’t really do it either, you will have to prove yourself in this position. After that, I will be able to go public with it inside my company, because the analytical arguments don’t care about what a person believes and that’s the good thing. It might seem scary and planned, but it’s because I’m not the only one on the line. You could get hurt by all of this much more than I would because of my position and age.”

“Holy fucking shit,” Hyungwon muttered, eyes wide and shock obvious. The previously provoking position turned into his usual stance, long legs in front of him as he stared at Hoseok with disbelief. “You’re such a manipulative bastard, fuck. But I think I partially disagree with what you said. Of course I'll have more problems on the career side because they'll assume I fuck you for the benefits, but behind your back they would doubt your decision making skills for choosing someone based on attraction and at the same time someone much younger after a divorce. People are judgemental as fuck, Hoseok, especially when they think it's something desirable and would have done the exact same thing themselves. I had enough of your employees come on to me with particular requests to figure that out.”  
  
A bright grin spread on his face as he watched Hyungwon while the younger man was talking. So smart but also so blissfully oblivious.   
  
“Let’s say it like this. If they doubt my decision making skills, they can get the fuck out of my company and I can hire new people who don’t,  they will do their job instead of talking about my decision making skills behind my back. It’s easy. Not that I didn’t do this before. I even gave my own wife a department, knowing that I could fire her, if I was unhappy with the outcome. One should always act according to position. It could change or be different if the surroundings change, but right now I do have this privilege.”

“Sure you do, Mister. But listen up, the point is whether you are even aware that they feel this way. It could be behind your back, not immediately obvious and not shared with you. Wouldn't the mere thought that it happens make you uncomfortable, even if there are no particular consequences in the work of those employees? They just assume things and the only thing that suffers is your credibility inside their heads.” Glancing to the side Hyungwon suddenly chuckled, as if he remembered something. “This morning I got an email from an employee in the legal department who apologized to me for a rather sexual comment she'd made and hoped I wouldn't ‘hold it against her‘ later.”  
  
Hoseok started laughing, imagining his employees giving Hyungwon sexual comments.   
  
“Honestly? I don’t care. At all. You know why? Because I don’t have time for this shit and you will realize soon enough. Other people’s thoughts, especially those of people you don’t necessarily need in daily life, will stop being relevant to you after a while because you realize that it’s just a waste of time. I want my people to feel comfortable and I do everything to achieve that. If they’re free enough to make assumptions about their boss’s decision making, they should also ask themselves, whether my bad decision making involved hiring them. The end.” He tilted his head and realized that he had been staring at his boyfriend with a particularly intimidating gaze.

“You're hot,” Hyungwon commented, completely out of place and almost immediately aware of his own words, biting his lower lip and grinning. “I envy your attitude, I'm not that far yet. Maybe that's what it needs to become a wolf.” The beautiful black-haired man laughed again, this time without covering it and pressed his index finger into Hoseok’s chest. “Are you fine with judgemental stares on the streets too? Thinking you’re my brother or my uncle or something.”  
  
“Oh come on, I look really young. Also the basis of a negative interaction are always two people. If the one thinks it’s fine to stare like a dumb pigeon, fine, doesn’t mean I have to feel anything about it, so the whole purpose fails. I've just been living by myself for such a long period of time that I stopped reacting to unnecessary provocation. It might affect you, but wait till you’re back, get a glimpse of your job, forget what life is and become blissfully ignorant to the outside world.” He leaned in, smirk in place before placing a warm kiss on the plump lips.

“Fair enough.” Hyungwon spread his legs as he crawled closer, placing them on each side of Hoseok’s body while smirking right back. “Now you have two choices. You could fuck me or you could ask me questions.”  
  
“If I was twenty-two I’d totally taken the first, but as I’m good at keeping the marshmallows for later I’ll ask you questions and then I’ll still fuck you.” Hoseok chuckled, brushing a black strand of the silky hair behind the small ear. “So, what confused brain cell told you that seducing me was a good idea?”

Hyungwon pouted, lips even more plump than they usually were and curled his arms around Hoseok’s neck, breaths warm against his skin.

“It's not like I walked into the company and thought ‘I should totally fuck my boss’,” he replied and rolled his eyes. “I saw you and thought that you were hot but forced myself to ignore it, until you pressed me into the fucking desk of course. London was kind of a strain on me because you kept undressing and offering me things and flexing your damn muscles. I'm young and healthy, I told you, this is hard. “

Shifting again the legs tightened around him as Hyungwon reached for his earlobe with his teeth and nibbled on it.

“The more I was confronted with your proximity and the less you denied the more I wanted it. It seemed accessible from the way you acted and looked at me. I wasn't sure but I was curious. Your inherent mysteriousness only added up to that.”

Suddenly Hyungwon bit down harshly and let go, throwing himself on the sheets and groaning.

“Fucking fine, I just have no self control.”

Lifting one big hand over his eyes the younger man glanced through the spaces between his fingers, watching Hoseok. “But maybe I won't let you fuck me after the questions and it was just a ‘before’ offer.”

“Nice try.” Hoseok smirked and let his palm roam over the clothed leg, nails scratching a little against the fabric of Hyungwon’s ripped jeans before the palm slipped into a hole on the thigh. “So, do you have the feeling that you've gotten what you wanted?”

“What I wanted changed over time. I was naive enough to believe that letting you fuck me would become boring after Israel I guess. Well- after the first time I thought it would get boring and after the second I concluded that it had to be the situation and the proximity. Unfortunately I needed a while to realise that I watched your every step, felt fascinated by your personality and had fallen in love. Fuck my life.”

A hiss left the plump lips at the body contact between them but the younger man cunningly pretended that nothing had happened.

“I was so desperate that I even considered to be with you like this, even if you didn't love me back although that would have been below my worth.” A sad smile appeared as Hyungwon took Hoseok's pale hand and pressed his beautiful mouth against the palm, kiss tender just like the motion itself. “I wasn't confident enough to believe I could make you love me back but I wanted to try, so yes I'm glad that I have you, Hoseok. I really love you.”

“I'll try hard to give you something in return. I promise.” Hoseok smiled and leaned closer, placing kisses all over the beautiful face. “I love you, Hyungwon and I'm going to work on this.”

“Deal.” The following smile was beautiful, spread wide and turning the plump lips impossibly thin in the process, eyes almost disappearing as the golden cheeks turned puffy. Slim arms circled his neck again and pulled him down on top of the younger man.

“Actually I want to know so much more,” he whispered between the kisses that kept getting hotter with each passing second. “But I'll ask you later, okay?”

“Marshmallow my ass.” Hyungwon smirked, placing one of his long legs strategically between Hoseok’s and sliding it upwards. “But sure, babe, as you wish.”

“I'll ask about your family when I'm balls deep inside you, let's see how you'll answer then.” Hoseok grinned, pinning the thin body between his arms and sucking on the delicious skin of Hyungwon’s neck, leaving little marks with his teeth.

“Sure, if you want to ruin your straight A sex statistics,” the younger man muttered, attempting to sound the same despite the light quiver in the low voice, reacting to the ministrations.

“No risk no fun.” Pulling the black shirt over Hyungwon’s head he sucked on a nipple, humming around it and basking in the way the other man's body made him feel.

“Fuck.” The beautiful black-haired man rubbed his leg along Hoseok’s groin, moaning a little from the feeling, always sensitive when it came to his nipples. “Whatever you said before, let's assume it was just ‘balls deep‘ and ‘inside of you’.”

“Deal. Ah, I really want to be that unbothered person but you just take it and rip it to fucking shreds. I love it, the way you drive me absolutely insane. It's ridiculous.” He kissed every inch of golden skin he could find, licking and sinking his teeth into it, low moans only sending more spikes right between his legs, tightening the coil.

“Don't ever stop reacting to me,” Hyungwon whispered and it was easy to see how the long legs shivered at the perceptions, lips remaining parted as constant moans left the younger man, hands scratching over Hoseok’s shoulders. “It's what I live for.”

“You make me want things and you make me greedy, I don't think it's good character development.” Hoseok grinned against the flexed muscles of the lean stomach, before licking over the inked hip bone, pulling the fabric of the jeans lower.

“I don't care, just fucking take it all,” Hyungwon hissed.

“I will.”

 

***

 

_You are childish and stupid._

_But mainly childish_.

Grinning from ear to ear Hyungwon ran up the stairs to the apartment he shared with Namjoon, lifting the door cunningly despite almost never being there and slipping into the tiny living space. As usual there were masses of boxes lying around and covering all the chair, the blonde man sitting among them and writing something, a huge physics book on his lap. There was barely any light entering through the one window they had in the kitchen, but it was perfect for the effect Hyungwon was going for.

“I have a little surprise,” he exclaimed and grabbed his backpack, pulling out his wallet and the mass of fifty euro bills that he had gotten from the bank only for this purpose. His friend didn’t really pay attention to him, just humming to acknowledge his presence but remaining focused on the book.

_Wait for it._

Whistling shortly Hyungwon placed the bunch of bills flat on his palm and began swiping upwards with the other, letting one bill after the other fly into the air and land on top of Namjoon and the notebook his friend had been writing in. One particularly sneaky bill fell on top of the unmade hair and got stuck between messy strands. It was definitely childish, loud laugh leaving his mouth but Hyungwon had always wanted to do that, pretend that money wasn’t all that and absolutely irrelevant, which it never was.

The action had been enough to finally get the other man’s attention who glanced at one of the bills shortly before his eyes widened and he straight out stared at Hyungwon, disbelief on his face.

“Did you rob a bank or something? What the fuck, Hyungwon?”

“No, I just kinda got promoted.” Still laughing Hyungwon finished up the last few bills he had prepared and threw an Amazon box down, making space for himself to sit down. “I’m fucking rich and I don’t even know what to do with all that money yet.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes as if the fact that he was sitting among fifty euro bills wasn’t that big of a deal and shifted on his chair, book still on his lap.

“Just because there is money doesn’t mean you have to do anything with it. You could donate it though, be a decent human being.” The words sounded neutral but a small smile began to appear on the puffy lips, dimples revealing the fact that the other man was cheerful even more so than the smile itself. “Fine, how were you promoted, to what? Tell me everything because I know you are dying to share.”

Reaching for the bills around him his friend began putting them back into a bunch, amazement at the sheer amount beginning to down upon him. “Did you get a thousand euros from the bank just to throw them at me in our pathetic excuse of a kitchen?”

_Unfortunately yes._

Hyungwon still couldn’t get himself to feel embarrassed though, too euphoric at the turn of events and at how amazing the short time in Israel was, walking along the beach and sleeping as long as they wanted to before returning to Paris. It felt surreal to be back home again, reminded of the fact that lying in the arms of the man he loved wasn’t the only thing he was supposed to do in life.

_You are partner and have shitloads of responsibilities now. You have to make sure they take you seriously._

“Yeah, I’m Hoseok’s partner at the company now and own shares. Holy fuck.”

Namjoon’s eyes narrowed as he placed the bunch of money in front of Hyungwon and just stared, not saying a word. Hyungwon would have expected a lot of reactions but the silent judgement had definitely not been one of them.

“Shouldn’t- Shouldn’t you be happy for me or something? I’m actually getting the chance to do more of what I’m good at and can travel more and at the same time earn decent money while doing so,” he muttered, still confused by the expression on his friend’s face.

 _Is he envious?_

“I am happy for you, but I am also disappointed, very much so.” The narrowed gaze turned back towards the books without elaborating any further, writing a sentence down as if Hyungwon had never interrupted him with the good news.

“And why are you disappointed?”

The pen was placed in the middle of the book as Namjoon closed it and lay it down on the ground, not having a table in front of him to put it anywhere else.

“So you are Hoseok’s partner now? At the company you are working at?” the blonde asked but the expression remained dissatisfied.

“Yeah, his company and I am his partner now. He made me partner because he considers me competent enough.”

The sigh that Namjoon released was almost deafening as the other man lifted a palm and covered his eyes with it. He must have been genuinely disappointed but Hyungwon had no idea why.

“Listen up, Hyungwon. We’re friends right? You share most of your concerns and your disagreements with your family with me and all your worries about your future career and about your eye color, right?”

“Yes, of course, but how is that relevant, Namjoon?” Hyungwon couldn’t help the way his eyes narrowed too, confusion only adding up as his best friend appeared to hint at secrets Hyungwon had kept. But as soon as he had finished the thought his eyes widened, realization like a brick to the face.

_Hoseok. You haven’t told him about Hoseok properly._

“So you think it is totally okay to hide from me that you were actually dating your boss all this time while I keep wondering where the hell you managed to meet someone like that? And now that boss not only overworks you but throws company shares at you? Are you blind or plain ignorant, Hyungwon?”

Namjoon’s right hand tightened into a fist as he spoke, disappointment fluently transitioning into anger as he stood up and opened the fridge forcefully.

“He’s tieing you to him, showering you with responsibilities and presents such that you are unable to leave without a guilt trip. How the fuck would you leave him now, Hyungwon? Sure, you’ll tell me that you don’t want to, but who knows what the fuck will happen over time? You could fall out of love and then you would be tied up in this fucked up work relationship you started. I really thought you would know better than that.”

_He’s wrong._

Hyungwon’s heartbeat picked up immediately, outburst making him angry in return as Namjoon kept suspecting Hoseok of purposefully tying him down, something the older man constantly tried not to do, always making sure Hyungwon was sure about wanting to be with him.

“You have no fucking idea, Namjoon. He gave me countless chances to leave and asked me before making me partner, making sure that it is what I want. I’m no idiot, I know that dating my boss is suboptimal but don’t you think whatever there is between us is strong enough to override that knowledge?” he argued back, following the blonde and grabbing his shoulder to turn him around. There was no way that he would talk to someone’s back. “I am sorry about not telling you. I wasn’t sure of it myself and when it turned serious I felt ready enough to introduce him to you. You have to understand me here, you even blamed me for dating someone older, not to mention that he’s my boss. How the hell was I supposed to tell you without having to justify myself all the fucking time? Like now.”

The anger that had been present on the round face disappeared slowly as Namjoon’s lips turned into a slim line and the other man sighed in resignation.

“I just care about you, Hyungwon and I keep having the feeling that in the end you are going to drown in all of this, be it the job, your relationship with your boss or the fact that he is still married to another woman. I just wish you could keep it simple and date a nice, equally young, handsome guy with similar interests for literature.”

“Hoseok is all of that apart from being equally young, Namjoon. You don’t know him and you really don’t see the relationship. I swear it’s not what you think. Can’t you just- just be happy that I am moving forward in my career simultaneously with my love life?” Hyungwon bit his lip and watched the expressive facial features, hoping there was a way for his best friend to understand his position and why he was doing what he was doing. He simply had to.

“I am happy for you, Hyungwon. I just hope you won’t get hurt.” Taking a beer and opening it clumsily with his teeth Namjoon took a tentative sip and stared at him, small smile appearing. “So, are you going to ditch me now that you are rich?”

The change in expression immediately caused Hyungwon to mirror it, curling his arms around his friend and giving him a tight hug as he gestured into the open air at his next words.

“No way, I was rather thinking of both of us moving somewhere a little more guest-friendly than here. Couldn’t live without your almost suicidal ass breaking things all the time.”

_

Hyungwon was excited, heart beating furiously as he entered the company the next day, perfectly prepared to jump into his new responsibilities and already aware of the first few things he wanted to do.

He had to leave a good impression on the employees and knowing them was the first step to doing so, therefore he had used several memory methods at once while reading the names and faces before going to bed. Upon entering the company he was already rewarded as Ann wasn't at the reception desk, replaced by the slightly older man called Francoire that did the job on Wednesdays and Fridays.

Smiling brightly he greeted the older man by name and nodded politely before disappearing into the opening elevator doors, joining another person, a woman from the marketing department that worked for Judith and was called Lisa. Still polite and aware of his facial features he greeted her before exiting at his floor. He felt fucking awesome.

_You'll rock this._

“Morning, Shorty,” he called out as he entered the office of the finance manager, aware that the older man would probably remain the only person that Hyungwon called by nickname. “Do you have my new responsibilities? Hoseok has a meeting as far as I know.”

“Actually I should've known that something was fishy when Hoseok told me to order the BMW 6th series in that strange colour. I don't know what you two do in your private time, Barbie, but it must be worth a 120k car.” Kihyun rolled his eyes before grinning. “Thank you for bringing Hoseok back though, give me a ride some time.” The brown-haired man handed him a car key and documents. “You need to sign for insurance and it's parked next to Hoseok’s, but the car will probably find you first with that crazy ass blue colour.”

_Holy shit, did Hoseok get you a company car?_

Hyungwon tried really hard not to stare and appear perfectly professional, curling his hand around the beautiful BMW car keys and forcing himself to breathe instead of fanboying like an idiot.

_It's a fucking BMW 6er. You could fit your whole family and a non existent dog into it._

“Lovely, let's just say that our sex life is definitely more lively than yours, Shorty,” he commented and bit his lip to not look like a fucking rainbow. Inhaling slowly he signed the provided documents before glancing back at the finance manager. “And what am I in charge of?”

“Ah, maybe I should've dated Hoseok.” Kihyun chuckled and clicked around until a couple of documents came out of the printer. “Hoseok made an overview of all the departments and employees who would be reporting to you. Including Judith, cause she has marketing and it's fully under your responsibilities. Also Hoseok wanted to expand and gave you the new department of international development. He'll tell you more if you ask him, this man has a lot of ideas. I’ve already had calls for you this morning so you better prepare.”

Hyungwon laughed because Yoo Kihyun was apart from his father the straightest person he had ever met in his life. The fact that Judith was genuinely going to report to him felt a little strange, especially since he had worked for her over the past weeks but he was happy that they could continue to work together. The mention of the international department alone was sufficient to make his fingers tingle.

“Sounds awesome, I'll talk to him as soon as he's done with his meeting.” Still cheerful Hyungwon looked through the few papers that Kihyun had placed in front of his nose and licked over his lips quickly while reading through them. “Alright. But dating Hoseok would've probably killed you, Shorty.” Blowing the older man a kiss Hyungwon left the pretty office and returned to his own, heart still beating loudly in his chest.

He placed his hands on the wooden desk, naively wondering if it would still feel the same, which it did, before turning on the computer.

_Make sure to work through all of your emails before you do something of actual quality._

Hyungwon disliked leaving small questions for later and forcing the other person to wait unnecessarily. Still smiling he opened his email account and almost choked on his own spit as masses of emails in bold stared back at him, pointing out that they were unread and required his attention.

_Holy fuck._

Taking a sip from the cup of coffee that magically stood right next to him he forced himself to relax and be professional. The bold number next to the word ‘Mailbox’ said 386. So he had 386 unread emails.

It couldn't be that bad, could it? Most of them probably wanted something quick or asked to meet him to get to know how he worked or something. As he placed the cup back on the desk a loud ringing sounded as another email arrived. 387.

_Just get your shit together and work through it. It can't be that hard._

_

 

It could. It was 11PM and Hyungwon had only managed to work through 123 of the mass of emails which only got larger the more time passed. None of them were as simple as he had expected as most desired an elaborate opinion on a product, a presentation, a promotional poster and all of these required a lot of time to get into the subject matter.

In addition to the rising mountain of documents that he had to work through to know the subject matter better there were constant phone calls from people that he could luckily place due to his intensive name and face study, but that wanted ridiculous amounts of things from him. He had also run to three last minute meetings with minimal preparation. Luckily he hadn't embarrassed himself because he had common sense.

The knowledge that there was no way to finish before the end of the day was a scary one. Taking a deep breath and realizing that he hadn't eaten he turned off the computer and forced his brain to think, to comprehend his surroundings instead of following the device and shutting down. Throwing his suit jacket over his shoulders he knocked on Hoseok’s door, hoping for a little bit of time out.

A hum sounded from the other side and he stepped inside. Hoseok was sitting on his chair, incredibly concentrated on something shown on the huge monitor, the other man didn't even look in his direction.

Biting his lip and hoping that he wasn't disturbing his partner Hyungwon came closer and circled the neck with his arms from behind, exhaling against the shell of Hoseok’s ear.

“I feel like I haven't seen you for ages,” he whispered.

“Wasn't it ten hours? Or less? I don't remember. Is everything okay?” Hoseok placed a warm palm over his clothed arm, leaning into the embrace after a couple of seconds. “You smell so good, my attention immediately shifts from work to you if I smell lilac.”

Hyungwon felt familiar warmth in his chest at the words, resting his head on the familiar shoulder and feeling so much more at ease, stress basically evaporating the longer he remained in that position. Oxytocin was a thing, but it wasn't enough yet.

Humming in reply he turned the older man on his chair and climbed on top of his lap, arms tight around the broad shoulders and head resting against his shoulder, breathing in deeply and focusing on the sensations. It was really calming, warmth of the muscular chest transcending through the thin fabric of his light blue shirt.   
  
Hoseok hugged his waist and pulled him closer, burying his handsome face into the crook of his neck.   
  
“Why are you still here? It’s almost 11PM. You must know that it’s against labour law and I as the only person who is hierarchically higher than you have to tell you to fuck off and go to sleep.” A low chuckle followed as Hoseok leaned back again, brushing a couple of loose, black strands behind his ear.

“Let's just pretend that I looked at cute cat pictures on my phone for half of the time so I haven't worked my share yet. But yeah, Mr. Shin, I'll go home soon.” Inhaling the pleasant scent of coffee and cake Hyungwon placed a kiss against the pale skin and snuggled closer. “When I'm done with this.”  
  
“I would ask you to stay over, but I’ll probably be working until 3 AM so my company won’t be something you would be able to enjoy. Do you need help with something?” The black eyes examined his face, jumping from his lips to the way his gaze refocused.

_Maybe that's the secret to manage everything. Working until 3AM._

It seemed impossible with the way his head already felt overloaded, eyes closing and wish to sleep on the older man's lap overwhelming.

“N- No,” he murmured, burying his head in the muscular chest again. “It's just the first day. I only need to get into the rhythm. Just keep me here for a little bit and I'll let you work in peace.”  
  
Hoseok hummed in agreement, warm fingers slipping into his hair, raking through it and massaging the scalp. It felt really pleasant, almost enough to take his consciousness.

“Thank you for the car,” he whispered instead of succumbing to sleep, legs curling further around the other man and making him feel impossibly small despite his height.   
  
Hoseok pressed him even closer, caressing his nape, touch impossibly light and tender.   
  
“I will miss you in my driver’s seat though.” The low chuckle broke the silence and the older man sighed right after. “You’re right, it feels as if we haven't seen each other for ages, the workload is like a fucking wrecking ball at the moment. But work means money and money means expansion and expansion means more interesting stuff and bigger clients, so I’m happy.”

Hoseok was right, all the invested time paid off in the end, it resulted in something, be it the ridiculously high numbers in his account or the beautiful blue coloured car that he had secretly checked out on his way to the marketing department.

“I can still take you for a ride once in a while and we'll just come back together.” The realisation that he would need to have time for that was a little unpleasant as he just attached himself further, not caring that it might have appeared infantile. “In a month maybe. When tasks don't come in like a wrecking ball and I stop hitting so hard in love.” Hyungwon laughed at his own reference, fluently transitioning into a giggle as he buried his hands in Hoseok’s hair.   
  
“How did Namjoon take your promotion? Did you tell him?” Hoseok asked before tracing his jaw with his curved lips.

Hyungwon immediately tensed at the memory of the discussion from the day before, still vivid in his mind although he disagreed with the arguments.

“He was happy about the promotion, just-” He paused, wondering about how to express it the best way. “Just not about everything else. He didn't know that you're my superior and I was really excited and announced it without much thinking, so he got pretty upset.”  
  
“People don’t like it when others keep secrets from them. Somehow it seems to be something inherently human, the belief that one has the right to the other person’s inner thoughts if it concerns them in any way. And also if it doesn’t.” The older man shifted a little on the chair, fingers stroking over his waist slowly. “Apropos inner thoughts, I need to talk to Judith, but I forgot who I was for the past ten hours so I think I might need to make an appointment, as dumb as it sounds.”

Hyungwon smiled, closing his eyes and enjoying the caresses and touches on his skin, thinking about whether he had been aware of himself over the past hours. Not really, too occupied with talking and pulling opinions out of his ass about things he saw for the first time in his life.

“I didn't keep the secret deliberately though, I just didn't know how I felt about dating my boss myself, so I didn't know what to tell him. He was rather worried about me but I hope that I managed to change his mind.” Sighing Hyungwon put a little more distance between them, watching the beautiful pale face with interest as his hands massaged his firm shoulders. “Can I have a kiss? After that I'll leave you to your work.”  
  
“Why are you asking? Does it seem like something you can’t have like this anymore?” Hoseok’s face was hard to read, eyes intense like always, not giving out what the other man was thinking about.

“Sorry, I'm just brain dead after today and everything seems so surreal,” Hyungwon replied, curling his palms around Hoseok’s face and closing the distance between their lips. He melted into the kiss and felt how the pressure in his chest eased a little with the action, clouding his head differently and with something much more pleasant. Letting go he sighed, body remaining hot. “And you have to work and I'm keeping you from it. I guess I'll love myself today to take the edge off.”  
  
“Stay.” The low voice vibrated against his lips. “It won’t get any less anyway, stay over.”

Hyungwon bit his lip, brain attempting to come to a conclusion but his body didn't care and just attached itself to Hoseok again.

“I might be too tired for sex though, I can't promise anything beyond a koala.” He immediately wanted to facepalm as soon as the words left his mouth but he was just way too done for proper and filtered answers. “Sorry I'm just saying whatever.”  
  
“It’s cute. What’s even more cute is that you’re trying to defend yourself for being tired. Don’t be a dumb teenager, Hyungwon, you worked a lot and so did I. I just wanted to spend those couple of hours with you, even if it might be sleeping, drinking coffee and brushing our teeth.” Hoseok stared at him, waiting for a reaction.

_You're being slow._

“I hate being tired and unable to do what I usually do. It's like I'm missing out on all the fun, like that one kid that doesn't stay up the whole night and just hears all the fun stories in the morning.” He paused, attempting to reflect on what he had said but gave up right after, eyes closing all on their own and limbs turning to lead. “Fuck my life, maybe I am a dumb teenager. I stayed longer than this before, why am I like this? Can't you just carry me to bed and cuddle me to sleep? I'm happy here I don't want to stand up.”  
  
“Pack up, let’s go home.” Hoseok stood up, holding his body in place and letting go of him on the leather couch before taking his wallet and laptop case. Hyungwon merely watched the movements, spacing out a little and contemplating whether he should be feeling bad for increasing Hoseok’s workload just because he wanted to sit on the older man's lap.

Sighing he finally stood up and got his bag from his office, already packed and ready to leave.

“But I really can't drive right now,” he murmured and leaned against the door frame as Hoseok finished up. The older man simply smiled at him, shaking the Porsche keys with his fingers.

The way to the car was a blur, just like the ride home that felt like it took exactly three seconds. Hyungwon's eyes opened as he saw Hoseok above him, unbuckling his seatbelt with warm fingers.

“Fuck, I can do it myself, sorry,” he murmured and fumbled around just to realize Hoseok had already undone it. He blinked a few times, attempting to focus his eyes properly and climbed out of the car as well as he could. As soon as his memory provided him with the amount of stairs that led up to the older man's apartment he simply wanted to faint.

He was really bad at asking people for things, preferring to tease them out with particular behaviours instead of actual verbal requesting.  
  
“You look like you’re about to fall asleep. Want me to piggyback you up the stairs? Seriously though, I didn’t workout today, it sucks.” Hoseok grinned and crouched down a little, such that he could climb up his back. “I should also do weight training but I guess you weight about 60 kilograms whereas I lift a hundred. What a bummer.”

Hyungwon couldn’t help the smile that spread over his features, as if Hoseok read his thoughts and his inability to ask the older man for the favour himself. Nodding shortly he curled his arms around the firm neck until he remembered that Hoseok had wanted to piggyback him and not carry him around bridal style.

_You're being dumb._

“I do indeed weight exactly 60 kilograms, nice guess. You're hot for lifting 100, makes me want to be- be thrown around, all over the place.” Staring into the air a little bit he let go of the warm neck, reluctantly. “Sorry, I'll climb on from the other side.” Walking around the older man he finally lay down on the broad back, body melting into the warmth beneath him and legs curling around Hoseok’s waist.   
  
“It’s interesting for me to see you like this. You are normally very independent and stubborn, never asking for help and doing everything yourself. But there you are lying on my back while I carry you up the stairs. You never fail to surprise me.” The older man chuckled and basically ran up the stairs, no strain visible or traceable, breath regular and voice loud and strong. Arriving at the door, Hoseok pulled the key out of his pocket, still holding Hyungwon’s thigh in place and opening the door.

“I didn't ask, you offered,” Hyungwon mumbled into the fabric of Hoseok’s shirt and tightened his arms and legs to remain in place. The scent of the apartment filled his nose, drowning him in familiarity and bliss. “But you're warm and I'm happy like this so I don't care whether it makes me dependent. I might just bitch about it tomorrow, sorry in advance. I kinda hate being babied unless it's justified.”  
  
“I’m making a guess that you prefer to shower tomorrow, so just brush your teeth and go to bed.” Hoseok put him on the ground, crouching down and untying the shoelaces of his oxfords. The action seemed so intimate, forcing him to bite his lip as he watched. “I must seem so romantic right? I just don’t want you to wear shoes in my apartment.” The older man chuckled, obviously trying to mask the tender gesture with humour as they had both walked around in shoes before.

“I love you, so fucking much, shit,” Hyungwon whispered and just let himself fall forward, embracing the older man and kissing the curved lips that parted in surprise, allowing him to lick inside the warm mouth. “I don't know if it's because I'm tired but I can't believe I'm this fucking lucky. Oh my god.”

He wanted to feel this everyday, have the older man next to him and see the beautiful face up close, independent of his state of mind.   
  
Hoseok grabbed his thighs, lifting Hyungwon up along with himself and moved towards the bedroom, sitting down on the edge and cupping Hyungwon’s small face with both palms.   
  
“I love you more than anything and I hope that I can be someone you can lean on if everything else sucks.” The curved lips pressed against his own and Hoseok curled both arms around his waist.

_You can, you really can. He doesn't judge you at all for showing weakness and doesn't use it either._

Hyungwon gasped into the kiss, scratching at Hoseok’s shoulders and feeling how his senses drowned in the actions of the older man, desiring to simply blend into the warmth that surrounded him.

“Can't we just stay like this? I don't want to move anymore, please.”  
  
Hoseok turned them, hovering over his body and undressing him slowly, button after button, sliding the pants down his legs along with the socks, throwing everything to the side until he was left in underwear only. Standing up, the older man went to the bathroom, coming back with his toothbrush.   
  
“I hope you can brush yourself?” The eyebrow raised in amusement while the pale hand stretched out and held the tool into his face.

Hyungwon rolled his eyes and grabbed it, brushing his teeth thoroughly and watching the older man. It was ironic considering that he had told Hoseok he disliked being babied just before that, only to be carried up the stairs, get undressed and his toothbrush brought. Chuckling he licked over his teeth and swallowed the toothpaste, too lazy to stand up and spit it into the sink.

“Thank you,” he commented and gave the toothbrush back. “Fine, maybe I don't mind being taken care of, but you didn't hear it from me.”  
  
“I will take care of you,” Hoseok whispered and lay down with him after taking the brush back. The strong arms curled around his body and he felt how the warm body embraced him.

It felt so different from before, more raw with the way they lay intertwined and Hoseok’s breath caressing his neck in regular intervals. It was calming and seemed to be everything he had ever wanted, curling up further and closing his eyes in bliss. The energy was able to simply flow out of him without any negative repercussions.

_He'll take care of you._

_

The desire to be taken care of transcended into nothingness, just as he had expected, and the wish to impress remained.

The only problem was that impressing was basically impossible.

Hyungwon had worked through the whole weekend, taking care of emails and requests at home, constantly staying in contact with a client that had a lot of special wishes and apparently also dramatic mood swings. Of course Hyungwon wasn't giving in all the time, perfectly aware that a rather dominant stance was important but the back and forth just exploded in his face after the client requested a personal meeting and dropped the deal right after. It made no fucking sense because there was absolutely nothing that he had said or offered that could have evoked such a negative reaction.

All of his attempts over the past two days to change the client’s mind were absolutely futile, as if he was interacting with a wall instead of the representative of a company that had interest in their product.

_Hoseok said you could talk to him when you need help._

But Hyungwon didn't want to ask for help. It seemed like he accepted the responsibility cheerfully, promising all that but in the end he couldn't even manage to keep a client not to mention answer the daily flow of emails and requests. He felt fucking incompetent.

Rubbing his temples repeatedly he hoped to get rid of the unfamiliar wish to curl up and cry and focused on the written text in front of him instead, a new proposal that the international department, that he was now in charge of, developed. It sucked, it really did, but Hyungwon wasn't even sure if he could tell them straight out. There was still the possibility that they wouldn't take him seriously although he had placed particular effort into proving himself, doing most of the communicative tasks first to get to know the employees better. It was frustrating and felt impossible.

But why would anybody create a job that was impossible to do? There must have been some trick to it, something that he just wasn't aware of yet and had to figure out.

_Fucking think, Hyungwon._

There was a short knock on the door and Judith’s face appeared in the door crack right after, beautiful smile painted on the soft features.

“Hey boss.”

Hyungwon felt happy to see the older woman although his first reaction had been a mixture of panic and worry, afraid of someone else adding up to the mountain of work. However it was pleasant familiarity instead of the constant pressure he felt to act like somebody impossibly competent and aware of what he was doing, which he apparently wasn't.

“Feels strange to hear you call me that. I thought the company is anti hierarchical,” he replied and patted the unoccupied chair next to him, gesturing for Judith to sit down. “What can I do for you?”

“First of all the company is, I remember how Hoseok hated on me because I wanted the employees to call me Mrs. Shin. Second, you probably didn't eat, so I brought you some poké. Let's eat together.” The slim figure closed the distance.

Judith was wearing a white blouse and a dark green skirt with yellow high heels. It looked incredibly stylish and made the older woman look at least five years younger.

_She brought you food, wow._

Hyungwon didn't bother hiding his surprise, eyes widening and pointing at himself although it was a little stupid. “You got me something to eat? Wow, thank you, Judith, but aren't you busy yourself?”

Chewing his cheek he examined the outfit and couldn't help the feeling that it reminded him of something he had wanted to take care of but just couldn't remember what exactly it was. He hated it when his brain gave out.

“Of course I did, this is the least I can do as your girlfriend, don't you think?” The plump lips spread in a grin and he watched how the delicate hands unpacked the food on the table.

Hyungwon laughed, reaching out and stroking over the long black hair once, amused by the fact that Judith could have easily pulled off being twenty-five.

“You even look my age like this, and absolutely mesmerizing, any particular reason? Need to impress someone youthful or do you want to be underestimated again?”

Judith laughed, slapping his shoulder lightly.

“Let's say it like this, people saying things like ’look, now she tries to look younger for her twenty-year-old boyfriend’ gives me a certain amount of satisfaction. This kind of satisfaction where you know that people are still dumb, biased animals. Isn't it cheerful?”

Hyungwon watched her, attempting to read her facial expressions and understand whether she was okay with it. He himself had not heard anything about their fake relationship, which might have been due to the fact that he hadn't been outside much apart from client meetings.

“You and Hoseok have that in common apparently, the inherent joy of talking about how disgusting humanity is as a whole.” He licked over his lips, remembering how Hoseok spoke about people's desire to hear other individual's thoughts that seemed to live in most. “Are you okay with people talking like that? I don't want to be the source of your discomfort, Judith.”

“My only source of discomfort is the fact that I'm hungry,” the low, sensual voice commented before the blue eyes focused on his face, expression serious. “How is it with your new responsibilities? Everything going smoothly? If not you have to tell Hoseok, or if you want to you can ask me if you think I can be of help. What you can't do is act as if everything is fine, he will find out and he hates it. It's so funny right? He really doesn't like people who can't admit professional mistakes whereas if he made a mistake privately, he..., ah what a hypocrite. Either way, you have to be careful there, baby.” The small hand patted his thigh before packing out the chopsticks.

_Hoseok will be pissed when he finds out. You promised so much._

Hyungwon swallowed, a little uncomfortable with the bitterness in the beautiful woman's voice. She must have been upset with something Hoseok had done during their relationship, but Hyungwon didn't want to ask. Judith would have probably remained quiet, not wanting him to tell Hoseok.

He grabbed the chopsticks and took a bite of his bowl to allow himself more time before replying. He hated admitting mistakes because they just never happened to him. He didn't even know if it was a mistake because then he could have tried to solve it, but it seemed to be categorically about his person and there was just nothing he could do. Asking Hoseok for help felt like giving up.

“Honestly?” he asked and took another spoon of poké. “I’m kind of frustrated because it seems that some things are absolutely independent of my competence and there isn't much I can do.” He bit his lip again, distracting himself with the slight pain to not drown in self pity. It was pathetic, some people had no food and he wanted to cry about too much work.

“I can imagine, dealing with people is like this, there's only a limited share of what you can influence yourself. I can say I'm really good at that, but it still happens that the clients just don't want to, irrationally, without any reason. But then it's clear, changing the person in charge might be a solution. I can remember this one dude who didn't want to sign a contract with me. I'm pretty sure it was because I didn't let him touch me, but Hoseok took over and the asshole paid the money in the end. But as I say, it's important to involve him, especially if it's about loss of profit or something,” Judith elaborated before placing a big chunk of salmon into her mouth.

Hyungwon chuckled at the sight before doing exactly the same, studying the bright blue eyes as he fought with himself, unwilling to talk to Hoseok but not seeing an alternative. The whole thing was starting to grow over his head. The sheer realization that the only reason most other employees took him seriously was the involvement of the older woman in front of him was shocking and relieving at the same time. He put down his chopsticks and curled his arms around the thin waist, putting his head on her shoulder as she ate.

“Thank you, Judith. I really don't know what I would be doing without you. I hope you punch every guy who tries to touch you without consent.”

“Oh baby, I can be a very scary person so you don't have to worry about me. I worry more about you, I hope you can live through this while growing up a little and also learning stuff, I know it might seem like a lot, but there are strategies to deal with it.” He felt how the small hand stroked over his hair.

_You were right, there is a trick. You just don't know it yet._

“You sound like my mom when she talks about my homosexuality,” he commented with a laugh and realized that the rosy smell of Judith’s detergent had almost the exact same scent as the package that his mother had sent him end of last week.

_The package._

He let go of the tiny woman and observed her body in detail, looking at the form of her hips and how big her breasts were to figure out whether it would fit.

“I have a present for you,” he finally said with a grin, taking another spoon of his salmon with mango.

“Oh my god, now you're also giving me presents, I should only pretend-date handsome gay guys from now on.” Judith laughed and rearranged her hair a little. “What is it?”

“You’ll laugh,” Hyungwon replied with a grin and took out the small, light rose coloured bag that he had placed the present in, closing the drawer right after and hoping that having such items in his work desk wasn’t weird. “My mother really enjoys creating clothes in her freetime when she isn't busy with her clinic and she still has this irrational hope that I turn straight so she sent me a dress and told me to give it to a nice girl. I guess you qualify. It’s meant to fit my eyes but luckily yours are similar so it’s perfect, and you are petite which is also perfect since my mom made it tiny.”

The older woman unpacked the package immediately, pulling the blue dress out of the bag and looking at the details with interest. It was a pretty dark blue with details at the shoulders and at the bottom of the skirt, cut such that it was slim around the waist. Hyungwon was sure that it would look gorgeous on the attractive woman.

“Your mom is talented, this dress is beautiful, I'm going to wear it. Now.” The red lips spread in a beautiful smile, before Judith turned around looking at him in question. “It's okay if I change here right?”

“I honestly don’t care, Judith,” Hyungwon commented and laughed, crossing his legs and studying the older woman’s figure again, hoping his size calculations were accurate, especially since his mom rarely expected his non existent girlfriends to have full breasts. “I hope it fits.”

“Who knows, maybe you'll turn straight all of the sudden, I'm pretty confident about my body,” she commented and grinned, while unbuttoning the blouse. “But it'd be a pity because I really like muscular guys, everything about you is so so pretty, but I do like looking at you.” The white fabric landed on the backrest of the chair.

“Who knows maybe that’s why I’m gay, it always helped me score. To be honest I kinda like our relationship like this and my mom tried to turn me straight for ages, so I doubt you’ll get any further there. You’re beautiful.” Hyungwon watched the way the older woman undressed and laughed at the image of someone walking into his office at that exact moment, seeing the marketing manager naked in front of him. “We keep getting into funny situations. Do you need help?”

“Yes very much so, there's no way I'd close that zipper on the back.”

After pulling the dress over her semi naked body, Judith turned her back towards him. As soon as he grabbed the zipper the connecting door opened and Hoseok walked in, reading something on the pile he was carrying before he lifted his gaze and opened his mouth staring at the scene.

“My mom sent me a dress and I decided to give it to Judith, because she’s pretty,” Hyungwon commented and pulled the zipper up, making sure to avoid the long black hair and the slightly darker skin of the woman in front of him. It was hard to hide his grin, all bad premonitions constantly coming true with people walking in on at the best times. “Mom made it herself. Nice, right?”

The stare continued as Judith turned around to the older man, brushing over the dress to straighten the wrinkles.

“Look what I got from my boyfriend, Hoseok. Isn't it pretty?”

The older man rolled his eyes and came closer, pointing at the pile of documents.

“That's the info regarding the expansion to Germany and Russia, you can look over it after you're done with the dressing up session.”

The words were sufficient to return the feeling of something clenching in his chest, stress coming right back and reminding him of the fact that he still hadn't managed to get the client back and was drowning in a pile of content that he wasn’t familiar with. A pile that Hoseok had just increased by 15%.

Judith crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at Hoseok as if he was enemy number one.

“Chill out. The boy didn't even eat, that's why I'm here, also stop the bitter comments, it doesn't suit you at all. Didn't you want to talk to me? Today at six, otherwise I'm busy.”

Hoseok’s eyes widened comically while Hyungwon couldn’t help admiring the strength with which Judith presented herself. The blue dress made it almost impossible to look away.

“You know that it's a client appointment, one you organized, what the fuck?”

“Well too bad then.” The beautiful woman turned around to him, giving him a hug while lifting up on her toes.

“Everything will be fine, baby. Eat up and don't overwork yourself, okay?” she whispered, before going to the chair, placing the previous outfit inside the bag and walking out of the door, hips moving beautifully as the heels clicked the rhythm on the wooden floor.

It felt strange to receive more support from the wife of his boyfriend than of his boyfriend himself, who remained strict when it came to content and only opened up when Hyungwon was half asleep on his lap and whispered love confessions into his ear. It was whiplash.

All over again.

“I’ll take care of it,” he murmured, taking the pile of documents out of Hoseok’s hands and placing them next to the other projects he was working his way into, adding the item to his to do list where he needed to keep track of deadlines and all the things he wasn’t managing, the client being the most important one.

_He only doesn’t judge you when it’s not about work, Hyungwon. You can’t tell him yet, keep trying._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update on the 27th of May at 2 AM CET.
> 
> Hit us up on Twitter  
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway
> 
> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to show you the desert, Hyungwon.”

It was almost six, and the pile of tasks he had yet to accomplish got bigger with every email. He knew what he had done after making Hyungwon partner and announcing expansion. Now it was not only his work, but also the monitoring of Hyungwon’s work, until the other was confident enough and learned that there was no way to accomplish everything. A client had backed down, Hoseok had known but waited for the younger man to solve the issue himself or preferably ask for help.

_ There's no way he can solve it himself. He has to learn how to let others help and how to prioritize.  _

Hyungwon sucked less than he had expected, making up for lack of knowledge and experience by working the whole weekend like a mad person. The frequency and amount of emails he had received being on cc. automatically, told him the story of the younger man basically not sleeping during the last three days. 

_ This is crazy, stubborn human.  _

Hoseok didn't really think much about Hyungwon’s relationship with Judith as it had been clear from the way his still-wife behaved around his boyfriend. She really liked him, but there was no sexual attraction whatsoever, only playful manipulative games and genuine platonic affection. He was a little envious. Judith was an amazing person to be friends with.

_ You'll never be able to be friends after you tell her that you've basically bulshitted her for the past two and a half years.  _

It didn't matter. After the time in Israel, his breakdown at the beach and the following thoughts he had come to the conclusion that Judith deserved to know the truth. Maybe they could finally talk freely, without trying to win a war that had no winner in the first place.

_ You made a mistake, Hoseok. You have to apologize.  _

The door opened and the familiar figure stepped in, blue silk dress hugging the curves and matching with the big blue eyes that were focused on him. The yellow heels made the contrast even more visible, adding up to the overall impression. Judith was absolutely gorgeous. 

_ She had always been, even as a twenty-three-year-old girl, fighting for gender equality in university.  _

“Take a seat, want me to make you a coffee? I also have champagne a client brought as an alternative, judging by your outfit it would be a better match.” Hoseok smiled, heart hammering inside his chest and adrenaline taking over although he had been absurdly calm a second before he felt the blue eyes catching his gaze. 

“I see you like my dress. Hyungwon’s mom is very talented, it fits perfectly. I'll take the champagne as I'm not intending on working any longer. I'm not crazy, not as crazy as both of you are,” the low, sensual voice commented as the beautiful woman sat down, crossing her legs. “I'm looking forward to what you have to tell me, you look nervous so it must be something I would want to hear.” 

_ Is it though? _

Hoseok pulled the champagne out of the small fridge under his desk and opened the bottle quickly, pouring two glasses and hoping Judith wouldn't pour hers over him after hearing what he had to say. 

_ No risk no fun. Even if, you probably deserve it.  _

He sat down across from his still wife, clinking glasses and focusing his gaze on the big blue eyes. 

“I made a mistake two and a half years ago. To be exact, I made a decision I should've talked to you about in the first place, instead of doing everything by myself, not talking to you about it and probably making you miserable in the end.” He sucked in air, lungs somehow not willing to breathe properly. “I had a vasectomy back then without telling you, too scared to have this discussion in the first place and  because it could've changed our relationship, hereby doing the job myself, I guess.” 

The intense gaze remained on his face while the woman in front of him was chewing on the inside of her cheek, probably contemplating what to answer. 

“I can't believe I had to leave you and wait for half a year to hear something you should've said three years ago. I knew that you did it, I'm not dumb.” A mocking smile appeared on the soft features. “Just that you probably thought I was. You know how much I thought about this while we were still together, all alone by myself? I thought we could've talked about that, hoping that you'd tell me, starting discussions about having kids, just so you would be fucking honest with me. You're an impressive asshole, Hoseok.” 

_ She knew? Fuck.  _

“Is that why you left? Because I didn't tell you?” he asked trying to calm down his heartbeat. 

“Because of something you did? No, not at all. I left because of the fact that you as a person were living absurdly fine with the ability to make decisions behind my back, not thinking about whether I'd like to know this. At some point I realized that I was some kind of accessory, not interesting enough to ask for an opinion and not important enough to share your inner world with me. We just don't fit, Hoseok. It would've been beautiful, but we can not be, you and me. I'm like the piglet sitting in the stone house, waiting for the wolf to come, but the wolf is not even interested in what's inside the house.” The glass touched the plump, red lips as Judith took a long sip of the Champaign. 

_ You should change. You are an indifferent asshole, Hoseok, the world wasn't, you were. _

“I was wrong. I was selfish and scared. I'm really sorry for hurting you. I'm in the process of changing right now, thinking about what kind of person I want to be. I know you can't buy anything with that knowledge, but I still hope that I can also be a better person towards you.” He felt how a tear rolled down his cheek, before he realized and wiped it away. “Sorry that the apology took such a long time.” 

Judith stood up and closed the distance, curling the slim arms around him, stroking over the black hair and whispering softly, voice low but barely audible. 

“That's the scary thing, I can't bring myself to hate you because we're so similar in so many ways, maybe that's the reason for not being able to be together. I'm glad that you finally found the courage to tell me, you have no idea what kind of weight it had been to carry around with myself for almost three years now, I feel free somehow.” 

Hoseok pressed the tiny body closer, affection still there, but more pure and resembling respect for the way the younger women had handled the insane amount of emotional pain he must've caused. 

“I'm pretty sure that you're a wolf, Judith,” he commented, leaning back and stroking over the long locks shortly. 

“Make sure to work on yourself or I'll rip you apart,” the tiny woman replied and a grin spread over the beautiful features, blue eyes sparkling and wet.

“And since we’re here, stop overworking Hyungwon, the baby will die from stress before you get that divorce you want so much.” 

_ She'll do it.  _ __   
__   
“You’ll give your consent? How are you more grown up than I am? Okay- I don’t know about grown up after that show with the dress today, but you’re honestly a better person than me.”    
  
The small hand lifted the glass and clinked it against his shortly before smiling at him.   
  
“I might be. But don’t pity yourself, Hoseok. Only assholes do that.   
  
_

 

It was Friday night and he was still in the office because of a client from the US who had requested a call at midnight. Well, it was midnight for him and he liked money so it had been a good deal after all.    
  
Hoseok wasn’t sure whether Hyungwon was alive, only hearing from the other man through Judith or Kihyun who were both worried.    
  
_ But he can come to you if it’s hard. He didn’t yet so it must be fine. _

As if the younger man had been listening to his thoughts a knock sounded on their connecting door, very quiet opposed to the usual, rather confident way Hyungwon announced his presence. As soon as Hoseok hummed in response the black-haired man entered, staring at the ground and closing the door quietly before turning around and chewing on his cheek. He must have been feeling uncomfortable based on the behavioural signs, hands constantly playing with the cuffs of his suit jacket. 

There was something unhealthy to the way Hyungwon looked, as if he had gotten even thinner than he already was, facial features sunken and impossibly tired.

“How are you?” the younger man asked.   
  
“I’m tired as fuck but that sure as hell can’t compare to the way you look like. You resemble a corpse while being a young   twenty-three-year-old male.” Hoseok tilted his head, worry immediately taking over every single thought.

A rather ingenuine smile appeared on the plump lips as Hyungwon fumbled further with the cuffs of his jacket and sat down on the red leather couch, legs remaining next to each other instead of crossing. It was strange to say the least.

“Just a long day, I guess,” the younger man replied although it must have been at least a week.   
  
“I don’t know whether you misunderstood me but I’d like to make this clear once again. By fucking up I also understand fucking up your health, Hyungwon. You need to be a responsible adult, preferably towards yourself first.” Hoseok stood up and crossed the distance, sitting down across from the thin young man and stared into the slim face, trying to catch the gaze but failing as Hyungwon kept looking somewhere on the glass table.

“I wish it was just my health,” the low voice whispered as teeth bit down on the lower lip. It was disconcerting how the plump muscle trembled despite the strength with which the younger man abused it, fingers shaking a little at the sides, burying into the fabric of his suit pants to hide it.   
  
_ He’s scared, Hoseok. Seriously scared. _ __   
__   
“I wished you’d fuck up everything else, but your health. What’s wrong, Hyungwon? Tell me, it’s fine.” He tried to sound reassuring but the way the young man looked, the adrenaline spiking up from the sight and the behaviour Hyungwon showed didn’t let him.

“Liar.” The younger man flexed his arms, fingers digging further into the fabric and nose only hesitantly releasing a breath he must have been holding. “You said yourself that you hate it when people fuck up. You give opportunities but you immediately tell them when they do a shitty job.”   
  
“You are a very smart and educated person, but you haven’t listened properly to what I said. Remember this one time you had to present, it had been your first time, in Israel. You asked me what happened if you fucked up and I told you I’d give you a different task until you’re able to do it.” He opened a bottle of water, pouring it into two glasses and handing one to the handsome but scared man. “And yes, I’d tell you if you did a shitty job, because that’s what you deserve and that’s how I am.”  __   
__   
There was no answer as Hyungwon remained seated, body tense and hand not even lifting to accept the glass, letting Hoseok hold it in the air for an extended period of time before he placed it on the glass table. The younger man didn’t even look up, hands not changing the amount of pressure they applied and just constantly pressing down, shoulders beginning to shake a little just like the trembling lower lip. Just when Hoseok was about to say something again he could see how a single drop hit Hyungwon’s right knee, soaking the fabric and turning the spot of impact into a darker blue.   
  
_ Fuck, he’s crying.  _ __   
__   
_ Don’t overreact. _ __   
__   
He stood up, closing the distance and sitting down on the red leather next to the impossibly thin body. Putting an arm around the taller man he turned and wiped a tear away from the pale cheek.    
  
“Just tell me what happened, so I can help,” Hoseok whispered, fingers curling around the bony shoulder.

“I can’t fucking do this, Hoseok,” Hyungwon murmured, shoulders shaking even stronger after the words left his lips, as if the auditory admittance only made it worse, unleashing all the piled up frustration like a river held back by a dam. “I tried every-fucking-thing but he just dislikes me and doesn’t want the product anymore and I did everything possible, called, made different offers without stepping back too far, arguing for advantages. There isn’t even one coherent reason to reject us because no one can compare in price and product quality. I don’t fucking understand why he is doing this to me. I don’t know what to do anymore and on top of that I hate giving incompetent opinions but all those projects are running  since forever and it’s so much to catch up on that I don’t know how anymore. Days are limited and I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m so fucking sorry, shit.”   
  
_ It’s the job, Hoseok. The job is doing it to him. _ __   
__   
“You can’t or you don’t want to do this? The dude from Munich? He’s a village bavarian, he probably needs a conservative middle-aged male to persuade him, I knew about this and was actually waiting until you ask, but you somehow didn’t.” Hoseok fought with the wish to pull the slim man over his lap, stroke the black hair and whisper that everything would be fine, but it was a job talk so he didn't do any of it, simply trying to catch the gaze that was focused on everything else but him.

“I can’t.” Another tear soaked the blue fabric as Hyungwon refused to look up, fingers shivering as they slid from the bony knees to the red leather. “You assigned me to relieve you of work, but instead I am just making it worse by making the guy drop the deal. How can I come to you when I only just started? What kind of impression is it when I beg for help right after starting? It’s pathetic. I don't want to be pathetic. I was so fucking confident and giving up just like that-” The low voice broke, note turning a little higher as the younger man stopped talking and bit his lip harshly instead. “It’s incompetent.”   
  
_ Reflect, Hoseok. It’s not only him, there must be something about you, something that prevented him from asking. _ __   
__   
“Okay, first of all to clear up all misunderstandings there might be, I assigned you, because I was and still am sure, that you’re the right person for this job, that you have a lot of potential and ways of fulfilling the tasks perfectly in addition to other qualities I’ll cite you from my presentation if time allows. Second, asking for help is not pathetic, it’s smart. Going down filled with useless pride is pathetic.” He sucked in air and grabbed the round chin, turning the handsome face towards himself. “There must be something I’ve said or done to make you think it wasn’t okay to ask me for help. Please tell me, so I can correct myself.” 

The blue eyes stared at him, wet to the brim as further tears spilled over the edge and ran down the golden cheeks, lower lip trembling as the younger man attempted to speak.

“It was the same, Hoseok,” he whispered. “Exactly the same, just like last time after Israel, distance taking over immediately and pressure only adding with each frown on your face, each time you walked in and threw more work on my desk with that cold look of yours and each judgemental glance at every second that did something else apart from work. I can’t deal with this, I never could, not back then and not now. You seemed to expect so much and I am just so fucking sorry for not being able to provide it.”   
  
His breath got stuck in his lungs as a reaction to the spoken words, realization spreading into every part of his brain, slowly setting everything on fire.    
  
_ It’s you, Hoseok. It’s your behaviour, the way you treated him and thought it would have made it easier to work, to concentrate and to fulfil tasks. You’ve basically driven him into a fucking burnout like this. Fuck. Apologize, fucking apologize and reflect. _ __   
__   
Loosening his grip on his shoulder he removed his arm and stood up from the couch, kneeling down in front of Hyungwon, palms placed on the slim thighs and looking up at the beautiful face covered in tears. His lungs clenched at the sight and his own eyes started burning, familiar feeling returning.    
  
_ Say thank you that he didn’t drop your ass and fuck off.  _ __   
__   
“I’m sorry. Shit, Hyungwon I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were feeling like this, which is not in defense of myself, I just seem to be a really ignorant person, despite being attentive to behavior. Obviously not my own. Thank you for being so honest with me and telling me all this, I will try to do better, I swear. I’ve monitored your work all this time, there were so many moments where I wanted to help you, but thought it would be unprofessional until you yourself come, knowing better whether you need help or if it’s just me overreacting because of my feelings towards you.” He curled both arms around the slim waist and bit down on his lip, hoping that he didn’t manage to break anything yet. 

The long fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt as Hyungwon snivelled and tried to catch his breath, throat blocked from crying.

“But it’s not just you. It’s also the fact that I could have managed if I knew the tricks, or had the skills or knew how to influence people properly, but I don’t, which is why I disappointed you. I’m so sorry. Please help me.” Again tears rolled down the pink cheeks, hands only tightening in his clothes as the younger man met his gaze, chewing on his lip. “Can I sit on your lap? Please?”   
  
Hoseok had never stood up so quickly, grabbing the thin body and basically lifting it on his lap, burying his face in the crook of Hyungwon’s neck, arms holding the slim waist tightly.    
  
“You didn’t disappoint me. Ever. You don’t need to have all of the things you think are needed for this job. I will help you, I know everything you’ve been doing, but I somehow thought you’d come sooner. I should’ve just helped you from the start instead of waiting for something to happen. I’m sorry, we’re going to fix all this and I’ll be a decent human and show you how it’s done before throwing you into a hell pit and waiting till you burn down completely. It’s just so hard for me to separate the private from the profession these days, you’re someone I want to have around me all the time and I’m scared to make you uncomfortable with it, giving you the feeling that I’m giving you things only because of this. It’s not true. I love you independent of your competence.”

The slim arms circled his neck and Hyungwon pressed his wet face into the white fabric of his shirt, soaking it.

“I thought it was like a test, meant to be solved on my own and I failed it,” the beautiful man whispered and exhaled against his shoulder, body still trembling from the emotional outburst. “Can’t we just be like before? Playful, but still doing our jobs. It hadn’t disturbed the way we worked together before unless I jumped you, why can’t it be the same now? I miss you, Hoseok. I could never be uncomfortable around you, I’m happy when you are there.”   
  
Hoseok lifted his head a little, placing tender kisses against the soft skin of Hyungwon’s neck.    
  
“It can’t be the same, because you want to learn and I want to give you a possibility to learn. You will learn a lot and I promise that I’ll help you, I’ve been doing it half of my work time either way, monitoring you and making sure things didn’t get out of hand but I don’t think you’ve learned anything from that so I’m going to invest the time in actually showing you and doing things together with you, okay? As soon as you’re confident, and this point will come eventually, it will be much more relaxed. You know what I always told myself when I first started the company? It’s actually a life motto. ‘Sucking at something is the first step to being good at something.’” Hoseok chuckled and found the plump, salty lips with his, kissing away the tears and breathing hot air against the beautiful mouth. Hyungwon was like a bucket of emotions being emptied over his ignorant head. 

The younger man immediately returned the touch, almost desperate in the way the hands pulled at Hoseok’s black hair to keep him close, unwilling to let go or part.

“So you still believe that I can become good at this?” the low voice asked against his lips, blue eyes wide and hopeful.   
  
“Damn, I am on the verge of being religious about this, you have qualities I don’t possess and I dare to say that you complete me. Professionally and personally.” Hoseok exhaled, realization was a scary thing, hitting out of nowhere like a wrecking ball, smashing resolutions, behavioral patterns and previous wishes. “Ah, I’m so lucky to have you, I’m sorry for being a distant asshole, it’s only because of my insecurities, I’ll try harder.”

Warm palms cupped his face as Hyungwon looked at him intently, licking over the plump lips before attaching them to Hoseok’s, licking into his mouth shortly before parting again.

“Does that also mean that I can touch you without asking? You seem so untouchable during work and I felt unable to be close to you, so I always asked for things although that’s unlike me, like the last time we met up, when I slept in your bed. I asked for everything but help that is.”   
  
“I have to learn from Judith how to become a person who always does things before others need to ask for them. It’s a mystery.” Hoseok chuckled and kissed back a hand raking through the black hair. “You can touch me anytime, Hyungwon. I love you, I love it when you touch me and I love it when you look at me, don’t be scared, just do it. Be that stubborn, confident ass I like so much.” Catching the plump bottom lip with his teeth, Hoseok licked over it immediately. “I should mark you, so Judith get’s nasty comments.” He grinned.   
  
“You always talk about ass, but always forget the ‘tight’,” Hyungwon commented as a smirk appeared on the pretty features, lighting them up like a rainbow with how all of the countenance changed at once. “Lovely, now just wait for me making you regret you ever said that. I love you too, Mister.”   
  
“Don’t forget how you were always shivering under my gaze, I will have to pull it out again but make it more sexual without scaring you.” He smiled and stroked over the clothed back. “And now listen up handsome boy, you’ll stay over at my place, we will do a work in tomorrow where I explain everything to you and we take care of the burning stuff, so you can live in peace. After we’re done we’re going to have a lazy Sunday where we stay in bed and get food delivery the whole day so you can move without me being scared that the wind carries you away. Deal?” 

The laugh that followed was loud and euphoric, plump lips spreading into a thin line and eyes turning into crescents as Hyungwon hugged him tightly with the limited strength in his arms and placed a mass of kisses on his face, covering every surface he could reach.   
  
_ He’s more than beautiful and you’re a lucky bastard, Hoseok. _

“Deal, but only if you admit that I am one of the very few people that can take your gaze, pulling a reaction out of you in return.”   
  
“You always leave me wanting more.” Hoseok looked up, getting lost in the beautiful blue eyes, drowning in the amount of emotion and hoping it’d never end.

“The mighty Shin Hoseok has finally admitted to an undoubtable truth.” Grinning the younger man attached himself completely and licked over his nose. “You can have everything you want, Hoseok.”   
  
“You. I want you.” The answer was simple and fast, nothing else coming to mind after the low voice had whispered those words. “Let’s go home and let me take care of you as I’m one of the reasons you fucked up your health like this. I’m going to do damage control.” He smiled and locked their lips once again.

Hyungwon pouted as soon as they seperated and lifted his eyebrows, chin raised.

“You better spoil me rotten after that hell you put me through. I want spicy chicken, sushi, snacks, a massage, a hot bath, steamy sex and cuddling. I won’t finish eating any of those but you’ll have to deal with it.”   
  
“Fine, you can be a spoiled brat this weekend and I will put up with every shit your mental brain will come up with.” He should’ve monitored it but he didn’t want to. He wanted to have at least one person he was able to let go with and he really wished that person to be Hyungwon.

“Hell yes,” the younger man whispered in response as the facial expression turned nasty, only confirming Hoseok’s suspicion that he shouldn’t have gone all out like that. “Guess who’ll be wearing an apron only and making me pancakes then. You can bet that I want pictures of that too, all over my phone. I don’t have any of you, feels like I’m dating my own face.”   
  
“Dating your own face? Not bad though. Also, I don’t own an apron.” Hoseok grinned and stood up, leaving Hyungwon attached to his body as he walked to the table and grabbed his laptop bag.

The nasty grin remained as Hyungwon rolled his hips on purpose, watching Hoseok’s face intently as he tightened the long legs around his hips.

“But I’m sure Judith does,” he replied and smirked. “And if not I’ll just steal Namjoon’s although that one isn’t all that great and might be covered in weird chemical substances you don’t want to have near your sensitive skin.”   
  
“How about I wear nothing and you wear this harness I told you about. That sounds really good to me. I could also wear one if you like, it looks hot. But none of this before I get the feeling that you won’t faint if I push you with my finger.” Hoseok grabbed the slim hips and rolled his own in reply to emphasize his words.

It was fascinating how the blue eyes faded into black at the motion and the words alone, lip bite returning and intensity of eye contact changing fluently to something obviously more sexual.

“Deal,” Hyungwon breathed out against his lips. “But I don’t break as easily as I look, Hoseok. You should know that.”   
  
“I know, but what I also know are basics of biology and endocrinology which give a different judgement from your hungry, sleep-deprived and manicaly horny self. I tend to trust the first to be honest.” He grinned before sucking on the sharp collarbone shortly and looking up right after. “Where’s your bag?”

“In my office,” the younger man murmured, visibly dissatisfied. “And also, fuck you, Hoseok.” It seemed like a parody of his own behaviour as Hyungwon let his head rest on Hoseok’s shoulder right after, relaxing and forcing Hoseok to bear all the weight, which wasn’t much before yawning.   
  
He walked over to the other office, hanging both bags over his neck and carrying the slim body in addition to those.    
  
“You mean ‘Fuck me, Hoseok’, but I don’t fuck half dead, sleep deprived people, so you have to work hard.” He grinned and walked over to the elevator, pressing the button and hoping that no-one was at the company at 1AM.

“Whatever, just carry me home and I will forgive the audacity.” 

Hoseok left the company building, thankfully seeing enough in front of him as Hyungwon had decided to walk and jumped into the black car. The roads were free and they came through perfectly. 

“By the way, I talked to Judith. She already knew and basically told me that she'd give me her consent.” Hoseok smiled a sad smile at the memory of their conversation. 

The younger man appeared in thought, using his index finger and thumb to play with his lower lip, lightly pulling at it. When he stopped Hyungwon turned towards Hoseok and it was easy to tell that there was realization dawning upon the pretty features. 

“So that's what she wanted you to apologize for. Holy shit, that's simply crazy. How is she still okay? Did you guys talk it out, is everything fine?”

“Yes, she's a better person than me. That's a fact. Otherwise yes, we talked about the divorce, I guess we'd need a month to agree on the assets and then I'm free,” he commented turning around the corner. 

“This-” Hyungwon began and stopped again, visibly reformulating in his head. “This feels a little ambivalent somehow. I hoped for everybody being happy in the end but it doesn't feel like her getting an apology equals me getting you. It's- I guess I like her and therefore I feel bad because some of the ongoing conflict was fuelled by my involvement.” The beautiful man shifted in his seat and placed his large palm on Hoseok’s thigh, stroking along it, gesture purely affectionate and non-sexual. There was pulling at the mouth corners, showing that Hyungwon was euphoric about the news.

“And at the same time I'm so fucking happy I feel like I might explode, weight finally lifting off my shoulders somehow.”

Hoseok smiled, genuinely happy that Hyungwon felt that good about the news although the other man had misunderstood about his involvement and the core of the conflict. 

“The conflict wasn't about you, Hyungwon. On the contrary, you were the impulse to change my regular behavioural patterns and to tell Judith about it. But on the good side, what are you going to do with me, now that I'll be a free man?” 

There was surprise on Hyungwon's face as if he hadn't expected the question, lips pulling together and eyes glancing to the side in thought. 

“Happily date you, I guess,” the younger man finally commented with a grin and leaned further against the backrest, opening the window a little and enjoying the way the breeze ruffled his black hair. 

_ It's still some kind of college dating story for him, isn't it? _   
  


***

 

It felt surreal to spend so much time with Hoseok, basking in every second that the dark eyes were on his and in how the features remained friendly and affectionate even when the older man explained the workings of the company and his responsibilities in detail, including strategies for email sorting which were immensely helpful. It was crazy how much time he could have saved if Hoseok had helped him from beginning on. 

_ But knowing you, you would have probably rejected it anyway, wanting to prove your skills like crazy. _

As Sunday came around it only got better, body finally functioning after two nights of proper sleep, eyebags disappearing and attention returning to its usual high. 

The fact that Judith was granting Hoseok the divorce only added up to that. It made him happy enough to send the beautiful woman a message with shitloads of hearts and a few memes because he doubted that words were sufficient to express his excitement. Now he could finally stop worrying about being the lover of a married man and could simply be a boyfriend instead. Soon.

He had only got up at 1PM, taking a hot shower and making two coffee immediately, sharing the pleasantly smelling liquid with Hoseok in bed and enjoying the mere process of lying around and doing absolutely nothing. He would have loved it if every day could have been like that, filled with him taking pictures of Hoseok’s sleeping face and convincing him to take a proper selfie instead of rolling his eyes. 

“I don't have even one picture of you apart from the ones I took of your face. This is unfair, you have 373 by now.” Pouting Hyungwon climbed on top of the older man and squeezed his waist with his thighs, scratching lightly along the muscular chest while grinning. “I can also leave marks and take pictures of those instead, Mister.”

“Whatever you need to sleep at night, babe

” A beautiful smile appeared on the handsome face before warm palms held onto his hips and the expression turned serious all of the sudden. “But seriously though, what do you expect from this, Hyungwon? From this relationship?”

_ There he goes making everything serious again.  _

“So you remembered that I didn't let you ask questions properly and decided to do it on the day I stay at home and can't escape,” he breathed against the curved mouth and grinned. “But I already told you. I expect us to date happily.”

“Yes, and you want me to get a divorce so you can share candy and go to the cinema with me? Seriously?” Hoseok’s eyes narrowed and there was something dangerous about the way the older man stared at him.

The change in expression was intimidating to say the least, forcing a shudder through his limbs that Hyungwon attempted to suppress as much as he could. There was something accusatory to the question, inferring that Hyungwon was just using the older man for bubble gum and pleasure, like a sugar daddy deal, as ridiculous as it sounded. 

_ Well, he does give you things all the time. Just like his divorce.  _

“Of course not. Dates aren't the whole point of being together. I want you next to me because I love you and you make me happy. What else do you want me to say? Isn't it clear that I want to be with you?” Hyungwon remained sitting on the older man, hoping to keep the proximity and reduce the unreadable feelings on the older man's face. “I just want me to love you and you to love me back.”

“Not to be that HR person, but where do you see yourself in five years?” The dark brown eyes inspected his facial expression carefully.

_ Why didn't he ask during the interview? _

Hyungwon chewed on his cheek, thinking about it and throwing away parts of his prepared HR- fitting answer. It wasn't what Hoseok wanted to hear. 

“I hope still with you, if you didn't get tired of me by then of course, and capable of admitting to my mistakes instead of riding them like a horse into incompetence.” Again he chewed his cheek, not sure if it was good enough and studying the facial expressions. “I'll be 28 and doing my job well, hopefully well enough to relieve you of half of the work you do while not only being your partner but also your boyfriend, one that you don't hide.”

“And in ten?” The eyes narrowed further, as if Hoseok was dissatisfied with his answer. 

It scared him, the feeling that a wrong answer could have immense consequences, ones that he couldn't define or control. The thought that Hoseok could just stand up and leave scared him.  It was the same fear he had weeks ago, whenever the older man confronted him with distance and closed up. 

“Still with you,” Hyungwon whispered and bit down on his lip, enough to break. “You scare me, Hoseok. Please don't do this to me and talk to me instead, don't just look at me as if you’re about to walk out of my life because I can't answer your question.”

“I don't have the feeling that you've thought about this seriously, just acting on a random desire to have something that was exciting instead. You know that I'm older than you but this is not even the point, I had been in a marriage before and I'm not into spending my precious resources on something that's not even serious.” Hoseok was scary, expression stern and even the bodily proximity not enough to soften it. 

_ He seriously thinks you aren't serious about the relationship, playing around until you get tired of it. _

“You think I'm not serious about this?” Hyungwon frowned, lips turning into a thin line and anger bubbling under the surface. It hurt to see that Hoseok believed he was just a fun date to Hyungwon until he would return to fucking around.

“What the hell are you concluding without involving me? That you're my new college fling? I didn't even fucking do college flings because I knew that I'm someone who moves around a lot and couldn't keep a stable relationship without hurting myself and the other person. I didn't even bother before but I do with you because it's different. I would even stay in fucking Paris for the rest of my life if it would mean that I'm with you. Don't underestimate my feelings just because you are older, Hoseok. Only assholes do that.”

“Don't get on the rollercoaster of imagination only because you lack experience, Hyungwon. Fine, maybe I underestimate you, but your answers just fuel my impressions. Tell me what a serious relationship is for you, how do you imagine it to be? What does it mean, what’s different?” The warm fingers curled around his thighs as the handsome man crawled up a little, resting his head against the headboard.

“It's-” Hyungwon began but stopped again, using the time to formulate better and not spit out his emotions on a silver platter without reflecting on them. “It's a relationship in which you develop together with the intention to remain with the other person, forever. Of course one can't really tell if that will happen but it just means that both sides will put in effort to make it work, talk about issues and solve them together. Practically it means living together, sharing experiences and critical life events, talking to each other with the full intention to make that person the closest one.” Exhaling slowly he reached out and stroked over Hoseok’s face, pale skin impossibly soft under his fingertips. “Does that make sense? It's the first time I've tried to put it into words.”

“I really don't want to be an asshole even though deep inside I might be one. I'll just tell you honestly. The possibility of sucking at something you do or experience for the first time is very high. You sucking at the new project, me sucking at opening up. You've never been in a proper relationship, have you? So I'm seriously concerned about this because I basically burned down my previous relationship and developed certain expectations in the process.” The older man slid the warm palm along his skinny thigh.

“Then tell me, Hoseok. What are those expectations? What do you expect from the relationship?” Hyungwon sighed and placed a kiss against the curved mouth, finally understanding the reason for the serious conversation. “Shouldn't we talk about this to be able to fulfil them? To see if we are even willing to fulfil them? I was in a relationship when I lived in Germany, but that is irrelevant. You seem worried that you will be wasting your time on me, but you haven't told me even one expectation of yours, tickling information out of me as always instead. Talk to me, Hoseok.”

“I'm not worried that I waste my time on you, I already committed to waste it if necessary. What I want is that you're conscious about this, just like I am. Why the fuck don't I know anything about your parents, or why you moved around so much, or why you know so many languages, and there you are sitting on my lap telling me to talk to you? Aren't you the one who should be talking?” The gaze was still paralyzing, no matter how many times Hyungwon had seen it.

_ Was it your fault? Were you being secretive while blaming him for not opening up? _

“But you never asked, Hoseok. It never really came up, I tell a lot of small stories about my life when they come to mind. I don't purposefully hide them from you. I wanted you to talk about your expectations instead of pulling mine out of me.” He licked over his lips and curled his palm around Hoseok’s that rested on his thigh. “I only hid things from you in the beginning, when I felt ashamed for being poor and living in the most shady place in Paris, getting offered hard drugs on a daily basis while you chilled on your king-sized bed and had a coffee machine that needed more than a filter and a button.”

“Aren't you the same? I wanted to ask you but you told me to wait and fuck you instead, how's that helping relationship progress? I need you to be honest with me. Tell me what you’ve kept hidden from me Hyungwon,” the low voice commanded. 

His eyes widened just like the hand curled further around Hoseok’s, realizing that he had been secretive himself, asking the older man everything he had wanted to know before distracting with his body once it was his turn. 

“Fuck, I'm sorry,” Hyungwon gasped, leaning forward and curling his arms around the older man's neck, breathing in the sweet scent of coffee and cake. “I didn't do it on purpose, while we talked the tension just began to rise again and my body immediately reacts. Fuck, just ask me, I'll answer. It's so stupid because at the same time I'm really happy that you want to know.”

Hoseok’s face lit up in a beautiful smile before the older man pressed his body closer, kissing every piece of skin he could find.

“I want to know everything about you, to understand how you are able to be the opposite of indifference. This is serious and I am serious about you. I love you.”

Hyungwon swallowed, overwhelmed by the sudden outburst of affection after the distance that Hoseok had expressed before. 

“I love you too, Hoseok and I'm also serious. My dad has a small company that sells computer parts, my mom has a dermatological clinic but they mainly do hair removal. My sister is still in middle school. In the beginning we moved away from Korea cause my mom got pressured a lot because they thought that she cheated on my dad because of my eyes. It was really hard for her so my dad decided to move to Russia since he had Korean friends there. When I was about ten we moved to Germany because mom got the chance to take over a slightly bigger clinic so we did. You know the rest, I came here to study and not be confronted with the dumb idea that my homosexuality is a phase.” He chuckled and tightened his arms around the warm body, enjoying the change in atmosphere. “What else would you like to know?”

A playful grin appeared on the beautiful face as Hoseok's eyes narrowed a little.

“Is that the reason for being basically hairless? I thought it was strange but not strange enough to ask, I really like it.”

“Yeah, I kinda hate hair so I removed it everywhere except for my head.” Hyungwon laughed loudly and took Hoseok’s hand to slide it under his jeans, feel along the smooth skin of his thigh. 

“It's hot. Are you more a family person or more independent? Well if I would have to guess I'd say independent, but one can never know for sure.” Hoseok's fingers stroked over his thigh dipping into the holes in the denim.

“I would say a mixture. I like them and it's nice to see them once in a while, especially my sister, but more often than that is pressuring for me. They continuously expect me to switch to girls so I'm rather absent I guess.” It felt a little upsetting that his relationship to his parents was so strained by their attempts to do the best for him but at the same time remaining unaware that it wasn't. “They just don't know any better.”

“Oh I bet they'd be delighted to know that you're dating a still married company owner who's thirteen years older than you.” The older man grinned and stroked from his neck to his shoulder, touch light and almost weightless.

_ They'll choke you or faint from the shock.  _

“Yeah, they-” He pursed his lips, aware that it was the truth but still not something pleasant to hear. “They wouldn't approve of this I think. They would be convinced that you're with me because of my body and that I'm blinded by the maturity that's only there because of your age.”

“You're powerful, but not that powerful. That must be very frustrating but I'll try to help as much as I can so you don't feel uncomfortable with me.” Hoseok's low voice sounded next to his ear as the handsome man leaned in. Hyungwon immediately kissed him, pressing their lips together and licking into the mouth. 

“Maybe we'll just have to show them how amazing you are before they find out you're mine,” he gasped and rolled his hips even without thinking about it, reacting to the sensations. 

“I really don't want to be the one talking about not reacting and then basically jumping you, but I've missed you so much and it has been so fucking hard on me while you were trying to overcompensate for lack of proper problem solving strategies with those ridiculous working hours.” The older man thrust up on purpose, warm fingers digging into his thighs.

Hyungwon cursed, body reacting instantly as if it realized how long they had been apart as soon as Hoseok had uttered the words, setting him on fire without even trying.   


“I miss the way your feel inside of me,” he whispered against the older man's ear, moaning at the way he rolled his hips again and wondering how they constantly fuelled tension that materialized out of nowhere. Inhaling deeply he buried his nails in the muscular shoulders, body begging without words. “Make me crack, Hoseok.”   
  
The intense gaze focused on him and he could observe how the dark brown eyes turned almost black in a matter of seconds, facial expressions changing and the corner of the curved mouth lifting up in a smirk.    
  
“You have five minutes to be naked and ready in front of me.” The low voice sent shivers down his spine while Hoseok licked over the slightly parted lips.   


“You're demanding,” Hyungwon breathed out, mouth curled up in a grin while he attempted to hide his eagerness and slowly climbed down from the bed, opening his jeans and sliding them down his legs demonstratively. Smirking he did the same with his underwear and the socks, keeping his movements elegant and sensual before he smiled, one eyebrow raised and blew the older man a kiss as he walked out of the room. 

His heart was hammering in his chest, anticipation always the same although he had slept with Hoseok countless of times. The older man always had something up his sleeve for him, something that Hyungwon wasn't familiar with and therefore impossibly excited to see. 

_ He'll play with you and you’ll love it.  _   


Taking a quick shower without soaking his hair Hyungwon cleaned up thoroughly, covering himself with the shower gel that he brought, his favourite lilac one and dried himself with one of Hoseok’s fluffy towels. 

Remaining completely naked he let a hand run through his hair and bit down on his lower lip before entering the bedroom, movements smooth like a cat.    
  
The older man was sitting on the bed, back rested against the headboard. The dark eyes slid over his body in a smooth motion, lips spreading in a satisfied smile before he saw how Hoseok lifted his right hand from the side, holding a harness that was made out of black leather with some fine chains attached to it.    
  
“You look almost perfect, come here.” The black-haired man curled a finger, gesturing for him to come over, similar to the moment when they had been intimate for the first time.

“I was wondering when I would have to remind you of Chekov and the gun that needs to be shot,” Hyungwon remarked with a satisfied smile and crawled on top of the soft sheets, pleasant against the smooth skin of his legs, unable not to act on it whenever the older man called him over. Once he was right in front of Hoseok he climbed on top of the firm thighs. “Make me perfect then.”   
  
The older man waited until he crawled further, such that his slim body was positioned right over the muscular one and lifted his chin with a light touch of his isolated index finger. Hoseok leaned in, licking a stripe from his neck to his jaw, tracing it with his tongue before sinking his sharp teeth into the spot behind his ear, most definitely leaving a mark. 

Hyungwon sucked his lower lip into his mouth to not make too much noise, whimpering at the feelings and grabbing the older man's shoulders in response, scratching along them to compensate his lack of verbal reaction. Inhaling without exhaling he narrowed his thighs around Hoseok, pressing himself down against the prominent, clothed erection.    
  
Hoseok curled the collar of the leather harness around his neck, kissing and biting along it while his fingers closed it with practiced movements, before moving to the back and tying the rest of the harness around his body. Leaning back the older man slid his gaze over the naked torso slowly, licking his lips and eyes seeming even more black than they had been before.    
  
“Mhm, better,” the low voice hummed in agreement.

“You seem to like to put a collar on the things you like,” Hyungwon replied, voice much breathier than intended and revealing how much he enjoyed the way Hoseok looked at him, black eyes beyond affected by the sight. “It feels nice.”   
  
“I thought about how you would look wearing it when you sat on my counter, telling me how work is not a good lover. You’re so teasing and stubborn, I love the way the leather compliments your personality, so incredibly hot, independent but also eager for someone to pull you by the chain that’s attached to it.” The way Hoseok talked had something incredibly sexual and attractive to it, every word sending shivers down his spine.

“I must be the impersonation of male desire then,” Hyungwon whispered into the older man's ear, stroking along the black hair and the neck with his fingertips. Rolling his hips slowly against the fabric on Hoseok’s legs he purposely scratched over his naked arms and sucked on the earlobe. “I resemble a high end sports car and a leather harness, I don't think you'll ever be able to let me go.”

“How about you shut up and undress me instead?” Hoseok grinned and pushed his hips down against the clothed erection, thrusting up intuitively.

_ As if you can say no to that.  _

Biting his lip to avoid a snarky remark Hyungwon let his hands run over the clothed chest, pulling at the simple t-shirt and uncovering pale skin and a muscular chest. His lips immediately attached to a nipple as he kept the fabric pooled at the older man's collarbones, sucking and biting the small bud until he decided to see more. 

Removing the t-shirt completely he licked a path from the hollow between Hoseok’s collarbones, over the pecs and along the abs until the waistband of his jeans. He kept his hands on the warm skin of the black-haired man's stomach as he opened the jeans button with his teeth and mouthed the obvious erection through the fabric of the briefs, licking along the length and breathing hot air against the clothed tip.

“Ah, you're so fucking good to me, babe.” He felt how warm fingers raked through his hair, tightening as soon as he came close to Hoseok’s dick.

Hyungwon smiled against the moist fabric, pulling the jeans down with his hands as he did the same with the briefs, using his mouth.

“You haven’t seen anything yet, Mister,” he murmured and licked his lips before repeating the same with the slightly darker tip of Hoseok’s erection, watching the reactions intently. The way the older man looked at him made him feel impossibly desirable, like he was the most beautiful man out there. It was overwhelming to say the least, as if he could have everything.

“Come here.” The older man groaned and grabbed the middle part of the harness, pulling him closer, catching the lower lip with his sharp teeth and nibbling on it before a playful grin spread the curved lips.

“I think-” Hoseok licked over his lips slowly. ”-you should sit on my face.”

_ Fuck.  _

Hyungwon nodded slowly before he realized he was being way too obedient and bit his lip, only slowly moving back up and watching the expression on the older man's face. His own erection was reminding him of its existence with each movement of his hips, anticipation only increasing with each passing second. 

Inhaling deeply he watched how Hoseok slid down on the bed, head resting on the pillow such that Hyungwon was able to climb on top of him. He did exactly that, especially slowly as he placed both knees on the soft pillow next to the older man's face and buried his hands into the headboard, not sinking down yet. 

“I love how you love to be manhandled, acting stubborn just for me to take you, drives me crazy,” the low voice groaned, warm, strong hands grabbing his hips and pushing them down against the skillful tongue.

Hyungwon moaned, thighs shivering embarrassingly quickly. He held his breath to remain in control and basked in the way the older man drove him mad, teasing him with slow licks against his entrance instead of the whole program.

“I was expecting more than this,” he breathed out, mocking tone only weak with the way he wanted more and grasped the headrest desperately. 

“Oh did you? I'm sorry, babe, you'll get your candy, don't be sulky.” He didn't have time to react as Hoseok pressed him further down, licking inside him, humming and adjusting his hips with the strong hands.   


“Shit,” Hyungwon cursed and followed the movement instead of resisting it, moaning against the skin of his under arm and feeling how the coil in his lower body tightened further, wanting more. Closing his eyes he held his breath to find the right moment to speak without moaning too much, unwilling to give up yet. “Fuck me, Hoseok. Use that harness you like so much.”

His hips were lifted and placed right over the thick erection.

“Be a good boy and sit on me,” the low voice suggested as fingers curled around the leather, pulling a little.

_ He knows exactly how to play you.  _

Hyungwon grinned, rolling his hips over the older man's hard dick and didn't follow the suggestion immediately, a little angry at being called ‘sulky’ while loving to be a good boy. It was conflicting but the compliment in addition to the way Hoseok pulled at the harness was winning. Licking over his lips slowly he reached for the bedside table and grabbed the lube. Hesitating for a second with his hand right above the condom he stared at the older man, chewing on his cheek. 

“Do you love me enough to fuck me bare yet?”

Hyungwon swallowed, realizing that might have been demanding and out of place, wanting Hoseok to display trust in a way that wasn't actually necessary. It was probably just his strange perception, expecting that to be an important part of the relationship. 

_ He doesn't have to do anything, Hyungwon. Don't pressure him through love.  _

“Nevermind,” he said quickly and grasped the small package too, biting his lip. 

“Fuck the condom and sit on me, Hyungwon. Now,” Hoseok groaned, gaze piercing his and so impossibly intense.

_ Fair enough. _

Dropping the condom back into the drawer Hyungwon took the bottle of lube and poured a generous amount directly onto Hoseok’s dick, giving it a few strokes as he threw the bottle to the side. He grinned at the way the older man appeared impatient, just telling him to fuck whatever and sit down on him already, he loved it. Crawling a little further up on the firm thighs he rested one palm against the headboard and used the other to line himself up with the gorgeous erection, still disbelieving that he was really getting it bare.

“Will you say please?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, squeezing the muscular body below him with his thighs. 

“You have three seconds to sit down. One.” The head tilted to the side and a smirk appeared on the handsome face, fingers grabbing the chain that was attached to the harness.

“Pull it some more and I might be quicker,” Hyungwon breathed out, remembering the intensity of his orgasm the last time Hoseok had put something around his neck, exhales harsher at the thought alone. Licking over his lips he moved down, feeling how the broad tip entered him, but not allowing himself to go any further, self control strained beyond belief.

“Two.” The pull got stronger while the gaze narrowed further, black eyes staring at his face.

_ But you don’t know what happens at three, so why are you afraid? _

He stared at the black eyes, almost like a sea with the depth that they expressed, swallowing Hyungwon whole independent of how much he resisted. The pull at the harness forced him to move a little closer so he did, but without lowering his hips, rolling them instead and gasping right into the attractive face of the older man at the way it felt.

He only registered how Hoseok had whispered three and turned them around, ending up hovering over him, his legs thrown over the broad shoulders and body almost bent in half. 

“Fine, I'm taking what's mine if you don't listen.” He felt how Hoseok’s warm erection entered him, sliding inside smoothly, no latex to disturb the sensation. The pull on the harness increased too, combined perceptions appearing all over the place.

Hyungwon moaned loudly, eyes closing automatically and hands landing above his head, kept closely together as if he had decided for himself that they weren’t supposed to move. It felt amazing to be breached without protection, every vein much more obvious as the older man entered him, setting his body on fire with a simple movement in addition to an even simpler pull at the harness.

Once he opened them he bit his lip, watching the hungry expression on Hoseok’s face and loving every second of it. Hyungwon attempted to push against the muscular hips, make the other man move and send his senses into overdrive, coil in his groin demanding pleasure. ‘More’ he mouthed without uttering the words, warmth spreading from his cheeks to his neck and chest, even more obvious with the colder leather pressing against it.

Hoseok complied, moaning in the incredibly low voice, so attractive and dominant. The muscular body bent him further, moving out and slamming back in after giving him about ten seconds of time to adjust to the thickness.

“I want to wreck you so badly, you look so stunning like this, like a beautiful black panther.”

Hyungwon wanted to answer but couldn’t as the rough movements set fire to his body, pleasure coursing through his veins and causing him to shiver, goosebumps spreading over his chest all the way down to his legs. Instead of keeping his arms above his head he curled them around the older man’s neck, pulling him down and thereby bending himself a little further, just to kiss the curved mouth as his nails scratched over the pale skin, leaving red lines. He wanted to make the older man go nuts, lose himself in the way it felt and act according to his wishes without thinking, he loved having such an influence on Hoseok.

“Fucking wreck me, Hoseok,” he gasped, narrowing his eyes as he glanced at the beautiful face before he bit into the curved lower lip, fingers only supporting the action as they pulled the black hair in time with the rhythm of the older man’s hips. “Stop being all talk and show me what you can do.” 

Both of the pale, muscular hands went to his hips, lifting them and improving the angle, before Hoseok leaned in and pulled the leather with his teeth, perceptions like a fucking wrecking ball.

He screamed, unable to help himself and let go of the beautiful neck, not having the strength to keep himself in place as he threw his head to the pillow and bit his lip painfully, loud moans leaving his lips without a break and not allowing him to focus on his surroundings, losing awareness of what was happening apart from the pleasure that exploded inside of him, drowning him instantly.

“Fuck, please, please, fucking please, don’t stop, Hoseok,” he muttered and kept moving his head from side to side, unsure what to do with himself or his hands or any part of his body that he didn’t have control over, merely capable of screaming the name of the man above him. “I can’t fucking think.”

“Good.” The fullness disappeared before he felt how he was being carried to the familiar desk, back pressing against the cool wood, legs thrown over the warm shoulders once again. The wet tip pressed against his entrance, drawing circles while Hoseok pulled him closer by one of the chains, nibbling on his lower lip.

“You-” Hyungwon attempted to speak, say something accursatory, tell the older man that he had begged him not to stop just for Hoseok to do exactly that, but he wasn’t able to, voice breaking instead of producing the sounds he wanted it to. The sensations were pure torture, body on overdrive despite knowing that there was no way that the black-haired man wouldn’t fuck him, even without him asking for it. Curling his arms around the attractive neck he pressed their lips together properly, licking inside the warm mouth and hoping that something would happen, anything to stop the burning in his groin. “I can’t stay like this- it’s- I feel so fucking empty, Hoseok. I’m dying, please do something- fuck.”

He felt how the fullness returned slowly, Hoseok giving him a couple of seconds to adjust again before thrusting inside him.

“You deserve it for being so good to me, fuck.” The eyes looked like they belonged to a hungry tiger instead of a human. 

Hyungwon gave up on speaking, merely closing his eyes in bliss at finally getting what he fucking wanted, legs tightening as the older man moved inside of him, hands attaching to the muscular arms and leaving dark red lines with the way they scratched downwards, moans and screams leaving his plump lips without a pause, not giving a shit about how loud he was being. The pressure in his groin kept increasing, release nearing with each particularly well aimed thrust.

“I’m close,” he gasped finally, opening his eyes to see the way the older man looked at him, inhaling the features as everything began to blur around him. “Please never stop driving me insane like this.”

“No, I'm not done yet,” the older man groaned, lifting his body from the desk and clashing his back against the wall, sharp teeth sinking into his shoulder and one hand playing with the chains, pulling and sliding them along his chest.

“Holy-fucking-shit,” Hyungwon moaned as soon as he was able to breathe, air completely pushed out of his chest from the impact with the wall. The way Hoseok treated him was driving him nuts, hands bruising the pale skin without consideration and lips closing around every inch he could find, nibbling on it and leaving a mark. “Do whatever you want to me, Hoseok, I fucking love it, please.”

“You begging for it makes it so much better, shit.” The hips slammed into him without consideration, sweat running down the pale skin without a break, loud moans filling the acoustic space. The warm lips kept finding his neck and chest, hot tongue licking over the marks the sharp teeth had left on his golden skin.

Hyungwon was only fuelled by the words, muttering against the pale skin that he attached his lips to, begging the older man for more, meeting each thrust with the way he rolled his hips and basking in the pleasure that threatened to overflow. He fought his impending orgasm as much as he could, unwilling to make it end with the way Hoseok had let go, acting on pure desire alone in addition to his infatuation with Hyungwon. It was everything he had wanted to see and more.

The older man turned around and placed his body back onto the soft sheets, kissing his neck and chest and licking over the whole length of his dick once. Hoseok sucked on the tip harshly before lining up once again. 

“You look absolutely stunning.”

Licking over his lips he stretched out his arms, wanting to have the beautiful man closer and be  capable of kissing the delicious lips, tingling sensation spreading throughout his whole body.

“I want to feel you,” he whispered, not trusting his voice anymore and spread his legs further, waiting for the sudden wave of pleasure to hit him again while the pale skin was flush against his.

“I want you to feel all of it,” the low voice commented before the thick, lubed erection entered him once again while Hoseok had lifted his hips in the air with one hand and pulled at the harness with the second. The hips rolled into him smoothly, hitting dead on, wet skin clashing against his.

The constricting sensation around his waist and throat only added to the sensation as he screamed, voice breaking in the middle and hands pulling at the black strands of hair that they could reach. White dots danced around in his vision as he attempted to breathe, pleasure numbing everything else. The coil inside of him tightened almost painfully as he buried his nails in the pale shoulders and bit down on the closest inch of skin he could reach.

He felt how Hoseok's muscles tensed, thighs and shoulders just like the arm that had been holding the harness, dick twitching inside of him repeatedly.

“Come for me, Hyungwon,” the older man whispered in between the loud pants that left the curved mouth.

He almost moaned at the words alone, relief filling out his limbs at the knowledge that he was finally able to let go and didn’t have to hold back any longer, pleasure pulling together into a massive whole and exploding inside his body and behind his eyelids, followed by a loud scream of the older man’s name. White stars were dancing in front of him even as he attempted to calm down, sensitivity increasing with each passing second.

Opening his eyes slowly Hyungwon reached out and stroked over the black hair, licking over his lips slowly as he watched the blown pupils and the way the chest rose and fell with harsh breaths. It was beautiful.

“I want to feel how you come inside me, Hoseok. Would you do that for me?”

“How am I supposed to say no if the desert is looking at me?” It had been barely a whisper, so quiet he might've overheard it if he hadn't watched the other man's lips. 

Hoseok started moving again, still trying to hit perfectly and moaning at every single movement before the muscular body tensed and fingers dug into the skin of his hips while Hoseok buried himself inside his body, orgasm traceable with the way the thick erection pulsated inside him. It felt amazing, every twitch clear from the way it sent small shivers over his skin, teeth settling on his plump lower lip. Hoseok looked beautiful when he orgasmed, tension visible on the attractive features until it dissipated into nothing in a matter of seconds, curved lips parted. 

Unwilling to let go yet Hyungwon reached out and curled his arms fully around the firm neck, pressing the older man flush against his slim body, pale skin hot against his.

The muscular man almost collapsed on top of him, only one elbow holding the weight away from his chest.

“You’re so fucking intense, I can't breathe.” Hoseok tried to normalize the oxygen intake but the loud pants were still dominating the pattern.

“So are you, holy shit.” He stroked over the beautiful hair calmly, waiting for the older man to calm down. Watching the way the pale body rose at each inhale he chuckled. “Says the guy who just fucked me on more than two surfaces.”

“I think no surface will ever be enough, I just want to remember your body in ever position in every possible surrounding. Every twitch of your facial expressions, the way you breathe, how your lips move when your back clashes against the wall and the air gets pushed out of your lungs. I'm so hooked this isn't funny anymore.” The older man looked at him, eyes full of emotion, easily observable although they were usually difficult to read. 

Hyungwon swallowed, a little overwhelmed and feeling how the familiar warmth spread in his chest, the same sensation that made him realize the way he felt about the older man before, desire to be close and watch his every expression overwhelming.

“I love you,” he whispered quietly, stroking over the curved mouth with his thumb.

He saw how the handsome face leaned closer, intense gaze disappearing behind the eyelids making way for the overwhelmingly soft features before the hot lips touched his plump ones in a kiss that reminded him of coffee and cake, energizing and so incredibly sweet.

Hoseok had a way of preferring to express himself without words, actions soaked in feeling while the words could remain cold and unbothered. It had been pressuring before and constantly returned the worry that he might not be enough or that the older man wasn’t feeling the same. However that had changed as each movement was perfectly clear to Hyungwon, just like the soft kiss that graced his lips. Hoseok didn’t need to talk to be understood.

Stroking over his hair and along his neck Hyungwon smiled and broke the kiss, question popping up in his mind. 

“Hoseok, if right now we were back in Israel, walking together, but only in a work-related relationship, along one of those crowded streets, what would you answer if I asked you what is necessary to make a relationship like ours work, one that includes a large age difference?”

The eyes opened and Hoseok seemed to think about his words, tongue licking over the curved lips in the process.

“Absolute honesty about expectations, mutual affection and a very strong will to make it work.” The other man answered, watching his face with interest. “What would you answer?”

“For me,” he began and placed a short kiss on Hoseok’s cheek, beginning to feel a little uncomfortable with the way his legs were spread. “I think there needs to be at least one thing in common, not a character trait or anything although I dare say that the two of us are more similar than one might think, with all the secrecy and distraction from what’s important and being stubborn. What I mean is a common interest like literature in our case, or human behaviour as such, something that we always return to when we discuss, be it our own relationship or humans in general. I think this makes it possible to overlook a lot of differences. Like the fact that you use a default ringtone.” Hyungwon laughed loudly and pinched the older man’s shoulder lightly. “You’re really interesting and although you are ‘more grown-up’ than me- if we want to say it this way- you aren’t necessarily always right. I feel like you can also learn something from me, even if it’s blind positivity.”

“You could also learn how not to start discussions while I'm still balls deep inside you, because it's bound to be interrupted by bodily needs.” Hoseok grinned and kissed his lips shortly before a beautiful smile graced the soft features. “Let's take a bath.”

“That depends on whether that is actually on the ‘things to change’ list or whether you are only being stingy with me,” Hyungwon commented and held on to the older man so he could take care of him, fully relaxed because he knew that Hoseok would simply carry him to the bathroom if necessary, smile remaining on his lips. “I’m not sure if this makes sense to you, but the more we are together the more I feel like we are perfect for each other. I know it sounds like a dumb sitcom, but I really feel this way.”

“I told you that we were made for each other as soon as I saw your tattoo for the first time, remember?” Hoseok chuckled and crawled down the bed slowly, careful to keep his body attached. “Although it had been a mocking joke back then.”

_ He said it because of your tattoo. _

“I wasn’t really aware that you said it because of the tattoo, I always thought it was something bodily attraction related, holy fuck.” Hyungwon’s eyes widened at the realization, attempting to help Hoseok out although it was actually hilarious how they attempted to climb off the bed without letting the older man slip out. “And I always thought I’m being an embarrassing teenager for thinking we were meant for each other because we even got the tattoo at the same place, design absolutely identical. Fuck.”

“Oh, do you know why I told you that you look like the desert night sky?” the handsome man asked while carrying him to the bathroom and turning on the shower first.

Hyungwon rolled his eyes dramatically to proof his point, leaning back to throw Hoseok a judgemental gaze.

“Of course not, Mister. You’re not one to share.”

“You have a point. Actually it was back then in that hotel room in Tel Aviv, I pushed you against the wall and I can't even remember what exactly I had said, but you looked at me, eyes opened wide and I could observe how your pupils widened, black replacing the blue, light reflecting in it. Shit, I can still remember how that made me feel.” The older man bit down on the lower lip and looked to the ceiling. “Back then I thought I couldn't do anything either way because I had the story with Judith and it had been a whole mess so I suffered.” 

“Wait.” Hyungwon felt how the warm water covered the two of them and slowly hinted at Hoseok to release him so he could clean up proper in addition to cleaning his hair that had definitely seen better days. However first he had to point out what a fucking coward his boyfriend was. 

“You mean to tell me that even back then you were aware of being interested in me, which is further than I was by the way, but decided that you wouldn’t do anything about it although it’s there? The thing with Judith was at the exact same stage when you started dating me so what changed?”

“My affection. The story with Judith was an ongoing one, I was hurt, I still felt a lot towards her, you were someone who had managed to get me out of it, to show me your wrecking ball like intensity of a reaction so I knew that it was special, but I'm a rational person, Hyungwon. That's why I had tried to tell you that the whole deal was bound to break you and me but I didn't see any other possibility, you were stubborn and so fucking hot, damn.” Hoseok washed his hair while talking, muscles bulging at every single movement.

“Says the guy who looks like a statue of Hercules,” Hyungwon remarked and used some shower gel to clean his body and massage it into his legs, rolling his eyes at Hoseok’s oblivious body presentation. “I’m glad that I could get past the wall that is your rationality then, otherwise I wouldn’t be happy in love with you while standing in your shower. Wish everyday could be like this weekend. It was really nice, Hoseok.”

“Move in then.” The low voice spoke the words like it was something absolutely trivial, something he had said every day to random strangers, like buying a fucking baguette.

_ Is it that simple? _

Hyungwon swallowed and turned around, staring at the older man scrutinizingly to figure out whether he was kidding, playing with him to find out whether he would want to before not doing it after all. He was being paranoid about it but he couldn’t help it. However the attractive features seemed calm, occupied with shampooing the black hair as if it was just casual conversation, something that could have happened before.

“Do you mean it?” he asked quietly, washing the shower gel from his body with the remains of their love making and stepped closer towards Hoseok.

“You probably overheard it, but I told you, I really don't say stuff I don't mean.” The intense eyes settled on his face.

_ Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. He actually wants you to move in and it’s not about pulling a divorce out of Judith. _

“I-” he started and stopped immediately, absolutely overwhelmed and feeling like a hot-headed teenager, fingers yearning to touch the older man to check if he is real. “I would love to, Hoseok. Shit, please let me live here. I’ll be nice and make you coffee and all that shit unless you act like a stupid prick because I’m not that easy and we can just do lazy Sundays or work like mental people cause that’s our life and shit. Can we also get Namjoon something because I’m thankful that he was able to deal with my crazy ass all this time?”

“I'm not ‘letting you live here’ you dumb teenager, I want to share it with you. It'll make life so much more enjoyable if you're around. I enjoy having you by my side, Hyungwon.” The beautiful man came closer, both arms curling around his waist. The black hair hung into the brown eyes, taking away most of the intensity, partially due to the fact that Hoseok looked at him as if he was something incredibly precious. “I love you. I’m absolutely in love with you.”

“I love you too. But to get back to my point, can we still get Namjoon a nice apartment? I don’t intend to be his sugar daddy or anything but I kinda like that nerd and would like to give him something nice.” He hugged back and breathed in the pleasant scent of coffee and cake, much more intense now that the older man covered his skin with it again. “Shit, I want to share everything with you so bad.”

“As long as he doesn't move in here too, sure. I have a friend, he just bought a building next to the university and plans on renting out the apartments. They're really good and Namjoon would be directly at the physics faculty. I'll ask him, he owes me a favour after I've been so good to him while we were studying.” The older man chuckled and a nasty grin appeared on the curved lips.

Hyungwon narrowed his eyes as he nodded slowly and suppressed his enthusiasm after the rather intimidating grin on the older man’s face.

“That sounds awesome and Namjoon would love us forever for such an opportunity but what the hell does ‘being so good to him’ mean. Is it a fuck friend?”

“He gave me my nickname, the one with the cosmos. Either way, he's a successful person now and Namjoon will be satisfied.” A low chuckle followed as the older man placed a kiss on his lips.

_ Cosmos Hoseok, huh.  _

“Will be funny to see how all your old friends will react to me,” Hyungwon commented and curled his hands into Hoseok’s hair, massaging along his scalp. “You plan on doing that, don't you?”

“Doing what?” Hoseok hissed at the movement.

“Introducing me to your friends, Mister. Intertwine our lives even more than they already are.” Hyungwon chuckled as he continued along the neck, focusing on the tensed muscles he could identify, warm water helping to loosen them up.

“Well, considering the circumstances you most definitely didn't consider because you're basically a baby, I already went on a couple of dates with you, touching you and being remotely affectionate in public such that it was perfectly possible that some people from the company might have noticed if they had been around. I knew it from the start and I took it into consideration, so yes, I just want you to have objective measures ready before going out in the company. Privately I'm more than fine with everything.” The playful smile gave out how much Hoseok liked to tease him.

Hyungwon frowned, wanting to hiss ‘fuck you’ at the older man but aware that it wasn't a good argument for anything and probably made him seem even more like a ‘baby’, a nickname that Hoseok and Judith apparently enjoyed with the variation ‘babe’ included.

“But shit like that happens only in movies. Paris is too huge for people to meet us and to recognize us. That's unlikely as fuck. But I perfectly understand that you want me to prove myself first before telling the employees. I agree even though it'll be funny when they'll think that I slept with both you and your wife. Lovely.”

“The best. It was very unlikely that I would jump your constant efforts to get me, but look at me now. Either way I'm greedy, I want to have you next to me so I can share even better.” Hot lips pressed against his before the handsome man opened the shower door, stepping outside and tying a white towel around the attractive hips, veiny v-line on display.

“You're right. I still can't believe I got you, Hoseok. Thank you for letting me in.” Hyungwon followed the older man, drying up himself as he watched the way the muscular body moved. “But I think I have one question left.”

“Go ahead.” The small towel rubbed over the black hair for what felt like a whole three seconds before Hoseok put it on the hook, probably considering it enough.

_ Maybe fate just wanted you by his side to save him from premature death.  _

“Why did you get mad whenever I called you ‘Mr. Shin’? Judith said it was the opposite for her, she preferred it even.” Hyungwon stepped closer to the older man and grabbed the black hair, pulling at it forcefully enough such that the older man bent over. Taking the towel from the hook he began to do the job properly, ruffling up the wet strands and removing moisture. “You need me, Hoseok. Trust me.”

“I let you, because you're cute,” the other man remarked before letting out a chuckle. “Everybody called me Hoseok, but Judith always wanted to be called ‘Mrs. Shin’ because she wanted a little more authority. When you called me ‘Mr. Shin’ it always reminded me of the fact that I was still tied up in the whole messy situation, so I hated it. A lot. Actually it must've been one of the reasons why I got hooked, because you found something that provoked me enough to snap.”

“I must be a genius,” Hyungwon whispered and bit his lip, disbelieving that his stubborn wish to fight back after seeing the importance to the older man was what got him what he had wanted in the end. “This brings us back to you never saying anything. Maybe it was good in that case.”

Ruffling the hair again he pulled the older man back up, satisfied with the end result. 

“I love you, you stubborn brat.” A hand went up to his hair and made a mess of it in a matter of seconds before the older man laughed him in the face.

“I love you too, Mister,” Hyungwon commented back and grumbled as he easily reached the black strands and fixed them. “And sometimes I’m really wondering who of us is the stubborn brat.”

It was crazy how something that had started out of mere attraction that resulted in stupid decisions and mindless infatuation could have ended with them being domestic like that, laughing lightly while brushing through each other’s hair and thinking about how to introduce each other to friends and family, intertwining their lives even further.

Hyungwon couldn’t help the smile that spread his lips as he glanced at the older man who was occupying himself with brushing his teeth, gaze absolutely concentrated on the action until he realized that Hyungwon was staring and an almost invisible smile pulled at the curved lips, impossibly attractive and warming up his chest just by glancing at it.

_ Maybe you really don’t need to travel all that much anymore, constantly looking for something exciting and for somewhere you want to be.  _

_ Maybe it’s okay to settle down, Hyungwon. _

_ With him. _

The black eyes settled on his face, gaze intense as always, excitement, emotion and something he still wasn't able to name intermixing into a mesmerizing facial expression as the serious voice echoed in the spacious room.

“I want to show you the desert, Hyungwon.

There was nothing he would have loved to do more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's almost over...
> 
> ...  
> ...
> 
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> We are always so damn grateful about every little bit of feedback, be it a comment, a kudos or a message on twitter :D You guys are the major reason that we write! (And Hyungwonho, because honestly it's THE SHIP)


	20. EPILOGUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That reminds me of that very scary moment I realized that I didn’t want any space between us.”

There was no point in looking anywhere else, the strange alcohol mixture in his hand or the sandy stones under his feet, there was just the sky. The blackness spread over everything, millions of beautiful stars shining and covering the horizon in a beautiful light, moon full and shining down on him. On him and Hyungwon.    
  
_ Can you believe you are actually standing in the desert at night with him next to you?  _ __  
__  
It seemed like a dream, moon light reflecting in the dark blue eyes, black bangs falling perfectly and red lips pouting a little.    
  
“So, do you like it? It’s mesmerizing right?” he asked, taking a sip of something that definitely contained vodka.

“Are you kidding me?” Hyungwon asked back but didn't bother to separate his gaze from the view, pout turning into parted lips and an expression full of wonder. “I can see the milky way, holy shit. Do you see that?” It was sweet how the younger man pointed, fluently transitioning into an explanation on and introduction of all the stars he could see and how rare it was to be able to recognize particular ones with the bare eye. 

Grinning the handsome man threw his slim arm around Hoseok’s neck and pulled out his phone, preparing to take a picture as he smiled brightly.   
  
“Sure, you’re in the middle of a desert at night, million of stars surrounding you and the universe seems so close. But first, let me take a selfie? Seriously?” Hoseok looked at the handsome face, lifting an eyebrow in question. 

“Sure.” Hyungwon giggled, taking the picture and typing something instead of placing it back into his pocket. “I'll post it with something clever, ‘living with my bitches hashtag live’.” As soon as the words left the plump mouth the younger looked up, grinning a little more before he spoke again. 

“You probably don't get the reference. Sorry bae. I promised Judith to send a picture once we arrive and I'm only fulfilling my duties as a good friend.”   
  
“You and Judith drive me mad, seriously.” Hoseok laughed out loud and let Hyungwon capture his open mouth laugh, turning around and staring at the handsome man with a shocked face. “Take another one, it was my monkey laugh.” 

“I fucking love your monkey laugh.” Both arms curled around him and pulled him into a short kiss as Hyungwon's smile was basically the reincarnation of the sun, wide and impossibly bright despite the lack of light around them. “Sometimes it's the only reason I get up in the morning.” The answer was genuine, accompanied by the habit the younger man had when he admitted to something truthful, a lip bite in addition to diverging his eyes, glancing to the side.   
  
“Fine, now I only need to tie you up and fuck you against this tent so I can see the desert looking back at me.” Hoseok placed a kiss on the plump lips, basking in the way the heat made room for the cool breeze and the feeling of the beautiful hot lips against his.

Hyungwon laughed loudly, slapping his shoulder playfully as he apparently didn't give a shit and sat down on the sand, only short shorts covering the long legs and probably a little cold now that the sun was gone.

“I am not having sex with you on top of sand because every experienced person knows that sex on the beach is like riding a hedgehog,” he commented and crossed his legs as he leaned back on his arms and appeared undecided whether he wanted to stare at the night sky or Hoseok. Licking over the plump lips he sighed. “But thank you for bringing me here, really.”   
  
“To be honest, I just wanted to ask you how you are feeling in the relationship right now before I realized that it’s something that you hate so I won’t. Either way you seem all happy go lucky so I’m just going to ask you what I wanted to ask, skipping the picture of your inner state. As you know we’re going to expand to London and I’m going to go there for about a year. Of course I’ll fly to Paris every second week or maybe more, but the focus will be London. Judith knows because I asked her to be the interim CEO for the time being because I actually want you to come with me. You were talking about settling down, I’m a little worried about this to be honest.” Hoseok looked at the blue eyes, examining every little twitch in the expression on the other man’s face, much like the first time they had met and every single time after, it became a habit by now.

There was a slight twitch in the upper lip as a pink tongue slipped out to moisten the plump mouth, corners continuously twitching as if Hyungwon suppressed a bright smile. 

“I-” he began as so often, bridging the time he needed to formulate his answer and reply by just throwing out the first word. The big hands curled around the slim knees as the younger man pulled his legs towards himself. “I actually only thought of settling down in the sense of being with you, Hoseok. I am happy when you are around and I think at this point I would follow you everywhere.” Finally the smile appeared, sweet and adding to the light that was reflected in the blue eyes. 

“You tamed me I guess,” Hyungwon commented with a chuckle as he grabbed a fist of sand and threw it at Hoseok’s legs, as if to prove the opposite while still begging each damn time Hoseok wanted him to.    
  
“Ah, bullshit.” Hoseok laughed at the gesture and the words. “You’re still a bratty, delinquent baby.” The grin got brighter, knowing Hyungwon’s aversion against being called a baby. Besides Judith, she had always called him baby. So much to equal treatment.    
  
“I also really need you in the professional sense, there is so much to do and you’re, as always, perfect. I waited with the apartment because I wanted to do it together.” He smiled shyly. It was still strange to say things that were purely affectionate, admit decisions that had been made only because of his feelings towards Hyungwon and the need to share everything with the handsome man. “Why does it always sound as if I’m dumb if I do things only because I love you?”

“Good boy, you're a good boy for saying it the way it is, Hoseok.” Hyungwon smiled, not grinning despite the words as he reached out and pulled at the fabric of Hoseok’s light pants, motivating him to come closer as the fingers forced him down on the sand, powerful enough to land on top of the younger man who just laughed and curled his arms around him, lips landing on his forehead. “You're not dumb, just less like a heartless robot. I like it like this, makes me want to cuddle you until you pin me to the ground in anger.” 

A thin finger landed on his lips as Hyungwon leaned forward. “But only Judith can call me ‘baby’ and you know that, Mister. She goes to buy underwear with me, do you? Nope, so stay in your lane.”   
  
“I’d really like to fuck you up until the only thing you can say is ‘please Hoseok’ which is by the way my favourite phrase.” He grinned and blew air at the handsome face, forcing the blue eyes to blink cutely.

“Oh really?” Hyungwon asked, lowering his voice and teasing face returning, one index finger moving down to stroke over Hoseok’s chest. “I thought it was ‘Tie me up, blindfold me and fuck me, Hoseok’. Interesting.”   
  
“It was ‘Tie me up, blindfold me and fuck me against the wall’ you porridge brain. Don’t mess with my memory, you’ll lose, end up embarrassed and cry like the baby you are.” Hoseok loved those moments when they were bickering to the point when one of them was ready to kick the other. 

The lean muscles in the thin arms tensed as Hoseok must have genuinely pissed Hyungwon off a little, teeth biting down on the plump lower lip before a pout appeared. 

“At least I don't discriminate against porridge, asshole.”   
  
“True, the porridge would feel insulted. Listen baby boy, your arguments are a little lacking today, don’t you think? Although I have to admit it’s better than saying ‘Fuck you, Hoseok’ and meaning ‘Fuck me, Hoseok.’” A bright grin materialized on his face as he pinned the body between his arms, leaning closer, amused by the pouty expression.

It was hilarious how Hyungwon had wanted to reply but didn't, as if ‘fuck you, Hoseok’ had been his reply of choice, eyes narrowing further and arms attempting to free themselves from the grip, legs curling around his waist to turn them in a rather elaborate manoeuvre. It might have worked had Hoseok not perfected martial arts throughout his youth, easily blocking it with a change of his stance.

“You won't get even a single sound from me, bitch,” Hyungwon hissed, mouth turned into a thin line.    
  
“I’m sorry but it was a sound, I can live off you being all sulky and pouty because I know that it’s a nice show. I enjoy it, thank you.” He watched how anger took over the handsome features, sound of air being sucked in through the pretty nose and eyes widening, black replacing the blue and turning the gaze so much more intense. He moved his head a little to the side, making way for the night sky to reflect in the almost black eyes, the whole beauty of the sight pressing the air out of his lungs. “There it is, the desert night sky is really looking back at me,” he whispered. “It wants to choke me, but the sight is worth it.”

The anger dissipated into nothing as the frown disappeared just like the narrowed eyes, lips parting and staring at him in wonder, emotionality only fuelling the impression in addition to the mind blowing reflection of the night sky. 

The younger man shifted his weight and lifted his upper body as much as he could with the way Hoseok held him pinned to the sand, lips barely millimetres apart from his and exhaling against them. 

“Wouldn't it be nicer to drown in it instead of just looking?” Hyungwon whispered and licked over Hoseok’s lower lip, quiet of the desert and the low voice fitting together perfectly just like the night sky and the beautiful eyes.    
  
“I keep drowning all the way, shouldn’t you have realized it by now?” he answered, kissing back, muscular body still hovering over the slim form.

“Let’s go to the tent,” Hyungwon replied quietly and curled his legs around Hoseok, attaching himself as usual and waiting for his hands to be released, probably to do the same with them, thereby enabling Hoseok to carry him. “I want to feel you on top of me without anything separating us.”   
  
“That reminds me of that very scary moment I realized that I didn’t want any space between us.” Hoseok pulled his body up along with Hyungwon’s, walking over to their tent, heating already working full force because it was getting cold. He lay down on the floor bed, placing the thin back on the thick blanket.

“I've never wanted any space between us since the day you let me dry your hair. Maybe even earlier. I tried, but you didn't let me ‘Mr. Shin’ you.” Hyungwon didn't hesitate to pull his shirt over his head, repeating the same with Hoseok’s and continuing with his shorts, actions impatient and quick until he lay back down and stretched out his hands, waiting for Hoseok to join him, lips curled up in a smile. “Come to me, Mister.”   
  
“But why? Why didn’t you want any space? You didn’t know me and you had no idea what kind of human I was. Where did you get the courage and the wish from? I can’t help but wonder about that. Still.” Hoseok leaned closer, stroking over the outline of the other man’s jaw, touch light and tender.

“I wanted it physically at first, but that changed the more glimpses you gave me.” Hyungwon smiled and placed his palm on top of Hoseok’s. “You know, Hoseok, in Germany they always have special calendars for children around Christmas. You can open tiny doors each day and get something, usually chocolate. It's exciting and something to look forward to every day. But with you it seemed impossible to find out what would be behind the doors so I wanted to open them all at once, independent of whether the content is good or bad. You fascinated me with how little you showed of yourself, I wanted you to let me in and once you did I was already caught.”   
  
“I had built a prison for myself after Judith had left back then and you managed to get me out. First occasionally, randomly, with a bite on that lower lip, or a stare, a witty comment, a bratty comment, a teasing movement of your hand or a small smile, lifting up an eyebrow and looking at me. You stared at me with those big eyes full of emotion, hitting me like a wrecking ball and making me ask myself what I was doing all that time and how I deserved it, how I could and should handle it so it doesn’t break. You are fascinating, Hyungwon.” He finished his monologue and placed a small kiss on the plump lips, spare lighting of the tent adding up on the intimate atmosphere. “I’ve never once thought of you as childish or naive.” 

Hyungwon smiled, placing his palm on Hoseok’s cheek instead of his own and placed a kiss on his lips, inhaling softly. 

“And you are a never-ending mystery, Hoseok. I learn something new everyday, but only the tip of the iceberg.”   
  
“Are you coming with me then?” he asked and slid his gaze over the mesmerizing features, big, blue eyes, perfect nose, red, plump lips framed by golden skin, shimmering in the light, black bangs covering the forehead and making Hyungwon seem a little younger.

“Always.”   
  
_   
  
It was morning. He was on a plane, flying somewhere, a handsome young guy sitting next to him and telling him something about why synergy was so important these days. The amazement didn’t come from the the topic or the plane, bringing him somewhere new again, changing his surroundings. It had been the handsome person next to him, smiling brightly and making his heart jump from excitement.   
  
“Are you kidding me, Hyungwon? I’ve had a company for over ten years, this whole synergy bullshit is tattooed on my prefrontal cortex by now.”

“But you never actually greet all of them by name, even that one guy that carries the paper for that bitch of a law department secretary. I tell you, they only take me seriously because of my psychological tricks,” Hyungwon elaborated, unaware of Hoseok’s fascination with his features as he gestured wildly and fixed his tie in between, arranging it to be perfectly in the middle as he crossed his long legs. He looked beautiful and expensive, perfect for where they were going. “Synergy wasn't as relevant as it is now back then, in the century you started, I swear.”   
  
“Yes, I’m sure you’re very experienced as you’ve in fact been going to kindergarten back then. Either way now I don’t need his name because I’m going to hire new people. You will help, you have to learn how to select employees too, Mr. CEO.” Hoseok grinned and brushed his hair back before turning to the window and glancing outside shortly, sun shining brightly over the clouds. The sun was always shining when he was flying.

There was a little bit of shuffling before Hyungwon tapped his shoulder lightly, beautifully formed eyebrow lifting as soon as Hoseok turned around and a bunch of papers being waved in his direction. 

“Which is exactly why Mr. CEO is already looking at requirements and current people on the market to create defined position requirements that fit to my expectations.” The younger man spoke elaborately and grinned shortly before some of the tension disappeared and so did the professional attitude, documents returning to the black leather bag that Hoseok had gifted him for no reason whatsoever. 

“Thank you for letting me try this out, Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered and exhaled loudly. “I love moving, being somewhere else, leaving what I'm used to and turning everything around. I feel like you keep helping me to go beyond what I would myself. Thank you.”   
  
“I am so lucky, Hyungwon. I’m so lucky to have found someone who agrees with me on this and who’s willing to live through this, to change together and to grow. I love the way you make me a better person and how you are able to be a catalyst for my personal change just by being with me. I’m so lucky.” Hoseok leaned in, catching the gaze in the beautiful eyes, still not believing that they were flying to London where they would be living and working for at least one year, together.

“You better find a way to be around for longer than a year or we'll just find a pretty, young, smart boy and teach him together before fucking off to another city and expanding there.” Hyungwon laughed and curled one of Hoseok’s black strands around his long index finger. Pulling him closer the younger man pressed a tender kiss against his lips before pretending to be absolutely nonchalant as a stewardess walked past, glancing in an arbitrary direction. It was adorable.   
  
It seemed like a long, stony path from realizing his own mistakes to taking initiative, sharing his thoughts and feelings, anxiety and insecurities with the mesmerizing, intense person next to him. From the first lip bite to the smile spreading over the handsome features at a sentence he had spoken, the big eyes that widened at a witty remark and how the blue color succumbed to black every time he was close enough to see it happening.    
  
The world was indifferent, but Hyungwon sure as fuck was not.    
  
_ This is why you are with him.  _ __  
__  
_ And this is why you are where you are now.  _ __  
_  
_ __ You can’t give this up. 

  
  


~The End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all thank you all so much for reading this huge amount of words, thank you for commenting on AO3, for mentioning us on twitter, asking questions and leaving appreciative messages on curious cat, writing us direct messages and showering us with love. We are sincerely grateful for each and everyone of you!
> 
> Feel free to watch this Hyungwonho Video as a finish: [HWH](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTvSMaaUTbo)  
>   
> This wouldn't have been possible without our Beta reader and editor Molly (@molly_madd) who spent nights reading and correcting. Thank you so much Molly! 
> 
> We both don't bite and really like talking to our readers privately, so hit us up on twitter:  
> [@Hichanchen](http://twitter.com/Hichanchen)  
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>  **ALSO:** For those of you who have been readers for along time, or maybe those who read one work and would love to have it on their bookshelf:  
>  As there have been a lot of requests we have finally created **hard-cover versions** of our books that we ship **worldwide.**  
>  For those of you who are interested, you can find all the information on our homepage and online shop [HERE.](https://smutsis.com)  
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> Thank you again, support Monsta X and give a lot of love to Hyungwonho, our favourite ship.


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